The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Kilt-Wearing Shopper Caught Stuffing Antiques Up His Butt & Placing Them Back On Shelves

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

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Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God.

What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast

Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay.

Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. And you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lauren Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world. We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, everyone. I'm Madison Packer, a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers,

ages two and four. And we're excited about our new podcast, Moms Who Puck, which talks about everything from pro hockey to professional women's athletes to raising children and all the messiness in between. So listen to Moms Who Puck on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your execution on the donkey of the day is something to behold is it a read

he gave me donkey of the day and i deserve it you need to know what you need to tell them i am you have the voice tell them it's time for donkey of the day it's a read but you're so good at it you're trying to be a fake ass charlemagne damn charlemagne who you give the only one Charlemagne above. Damn, Charlemagne. Who you give a donkey of the day to now? A donkey of the day for Tuesday, February 27th, Sexy Red goes to a 60-year-old Texas man named

Mitchell Vest. No need to waste any time here today, folks. I'm just going to read you the headline from the New York Post this morning. The headline reads, Kilt-wearing shopper seen stuffing antiques up his butt and then placing them back on the shelves. Let's go to Fox 26 Houston for the report, please. Thursday, February 8th was a normal day at this spring antique store until cameras caught the moment a customer in a kilt took a liking to certain items on the shelf.

I had to watch it a couple of times just to be sure that I knew what I was looking at. Susan Golden has managed the 85,000 square foot shop for 20 years. Cameras show a man in a tank top and kilt grab a kitchen fork or spoon from a display. He then walks over to the other side. His hand stays behind him for a while. He's then seen placing the item back on the shelf. I realized when he put them back that he wasn't trying to steal them. He was doing other things with them.

In another section, a closer look. He grabs another item, shoves it underneath the kilt, and puts it back. He needs to be caught and stopped. Mitchell Vest was stuffing antiques up his butthole and then placing them back on the shelves i got so many questions and i don't know which one to ask first because i need to know how big were these antique items whoa and i need to know how big was his butthole okay based on the size of the antiques i can determine the measurements of his anus all right this man is a whole freak ladies and gentlemen and this is what happens when you can't shame people all right i

feel like i've told you this before but you have to let people have romantic rectum rendezvous if that's what they want. OK, y'all have demonized butt play. And I don't think that's fair for those amongst us who enjoy booty exploration. If you want to be Christopher Columbus, you have that right and you shouldn't be shamed for it. OK, that doesn't mean, no, you can make poor choices just because you don't have a safe space to do prostate stimulation all right just because you aren't comfortable popping the old gristle ring doesn't give you the right to go commit a crime like this okay you were putting antique items back on the shelf after giving them the scenic tour through brown town disgusting okay the good old poop hole loophole somebody out there touched all your butt boogers just because you nasty all right this is also why

we have to lower inflation okay because clearly mitchell couldn't afford anal plugs all right now this morning i googled dildos for men just to see the price of them okay 25.91 for a jock duo male anal dildo okay they got a coat male anal vibrator for 3131.59. And poor Mitch can't afford either one of them. So instead, he's in the antique shop sticking talking Pee Wee Herman dolls up his hiney. Okay? All right? I don't know what's happening, okay? This man is in a kilt sticking antiques up his anus, okay?

He is Rowdy Roddy Fudge Packer. Now, we have a list of things he used to he used to do the chocolate mushroom slap. These are actual things that they said he put in his butt. A makeup brush. Okay. A restoration hardware piece. I don't even know what that is. Okay. An antique

bottle opener and a tobacco tint can? What the hell is that? A tobacco tent can These things ain't small items That's the stuff that you spit Oh the tobacco in No they big round

Jesus Christ I'm reading the story and it says the male was then observed Removing the items and placing them back on shelves If you cavity search this man There is no telling what you will find Okay that man has a pawn shop located right on prostate drive you just got to go down hershey highway and make a left okay and he got everything you're looking for and probably some things you not now did you know that

the name of the antique store and i'm not making this up was the curiosity shop i cannot make this kind of stuff up people i'm not that good google good. Google the story. You'll see it yourself. He went to the curiosity shop, had a couple of backdoorgasms, and in the complaint, the store owner said it had to throw away the items that were used in this incident due to the items being smothered in feces. Smothered in dangle gravy. Oh, he's been arrested for criminal mischief, and he's probably disappointed Because he won't be in there long enough To get his starfish stretched Please give Mitchell Vest The sweet sounds of the Hamilton's

You are the donkey Of the day You are the donkey Of the day Yee-haw Such a strange, delightful world we live in. Is he okay? Like mentally?

Like is it something? You say he's 60 years old. The man has kinks, man. Okay? It literally could be something wrong. It has to be something wrong with him. he's 60 years old. He got him. The man has kinks, man. Okay. It literally could be something wrong. It has to be something wrong with him. He's 60 years old. What race is he in?

Can we play a game? Yes. Let's play a game of Guess What Race It Is. All right. Give me my clues. Mitchell Vest, 60 years old from Texas, was in a store called the Curiosity Shop, which is an antique store, wearing a kilt. And he was sticking things up his butt.

Guess what race he is. Jess? What's his name? Mitchell. Mitchell Best. White. Okay, okay. Why you say white?

He's wearing a kilt. That's what I was thinking the same thing. The only black person I knew that was Jaden Smith But you know He's not really that black either Man shut up man TJ Envy Yes sir Mitchell Vest

Yes Mitchell Vest 60 years old Yes From Texas Yes Was wearing a kilt In an antique store

Called the Curiosity Shop And he was caught Sticking things up his butt Guess what Racist I'm going white Kilt The kilt I can see why y'all would say that It's the kilt I can see why y'all would say that Racist! I'm going white. I can see why y'all would say that.

It's the kilt. I can see why y'all would say that. And y'all are absolutely correct. He is big white. Big white. Big white. Capital right white. Insurrection white.

All right. He bought the Trump sneakers off eBay for $22,000 white. Okay. All right. Salute to the president of the Fat Lives Matter committee for $22,000 white. Okay. All right. Salute to the president of the Fat Lies Matter Committee, Big Mac. Big Mac said, imagine buying an antique from that shop and sniffing it and being like, hmm, the 80s smell kind of. Then he said, the dude sold all these items on Shark Tank.

Oh, no. Stupid. This guy. He's just from the back text of me. Okay. All right. Well, thank you for that donkey today, sir. Donkey of the Day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney,

Michael the Bull Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to MichaelTheBull.com. That's MichaelTheBull.com. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max.

You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together.

Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. I'm Madison Packer,

a pro hockey veteran going on my 10th season in New York. And I'm Anya Packer, a former pro hockey player and now a full Madison Packer stan. Anya and I met through hockey, and now we're married and moms to two awesome toddlers, ages two and four. We'll see you next time. So listen to Moms Who Pock on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Courtney Thorne-Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world. We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.