The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Man Arrested For Stealing Vibrator, Condoms & More From Target

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

Man Arrested For Stealing Vibrator, Condoms & More From TargetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yes, my God, I'm talking about Charlemagne, oh, God It's time for Donkey of the Day It's a read, but you're so good at it Because you're mean I am not Everything that Charlemagne's saying is true Some donkey of the day has just sawed himself

I mean, you were hitting and hitting and hitting and hitting That is why Charlemagne is here. Taylor, you just gonna stand there while your uncle got a handful of ass cakes and not hand me no damn napkins? Thank you, Sim, for being a good niece. Taylor just want to laugh all the time. Donkey of the day for Thursday, June 29th.

My born day goes to a 46-year-old Florida man named David Romero. Okay, what does your Uncle Shala always say about the great state of Florida? The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida, and today is no exception, okay? Let me tell you something. I walked in here this morning on my born day, and I know these individuals I work with up here are insane.

Okay, everyone from Envy to Taylor tolor to brandon red is his born day too happy born day red drop on the clues bombs for my guy red drop the bomb for yourself red you want some of this cake you're gonna get some of this ass cake uh vicky and sim they up here they got good sense but they're gonna ride with the team so whatever shenanigans envy puts them up to they're gonna be down with and i walked in here this morning and there was at least six to seven sex toys in this room. OK, a vibrator, a blow up doll with a penis. I took a knife to that one because representation matters.

And the doll was white. There is penis shaped candy in here. A sex voodoo doll. I didn't even know they made those. And all I could think to myself was who did they send to buy this stuff and where? And then I saw this story and it's all me. It all made sense. Go to the news report, Red. On June 19th, Flagler County Sheriff's deputies responded to a larceny report at a Target in Palm Coast, Florida. Once there, officials found 46-year-old David Romero in a white truck, matching the description of the reported shoplifter's vehicle. Officials figured out Romero had a felony warrant out for his arrest in neighboring Putnam County for third degree grand theft.

Body camera video shows sheriff's deputies arrive on the scene calling for Romero to exit his vehicle. Step out of the truck. As the sheriff's deputy opens the squad door, Romero can be seen with his pants down. On the ground nearby, a moving vibrator that fell from his pockets. Inside Target, officials say Romero paid for several items from the grocery section, but stole multiple other items, including condoms, sexual enhancement products, personal lubricant,

and a t-shirt. They allege he hid the stolen items in some shapewear before exiting the store. Items were recovered from Romero's vehicle after he was taken into custody. Now, there's a part of me that feels bad for this guy and wants to give Target and the police who arrested him donkey of the day. Because this guy wasn't trying to hurt nobody. He's just broke. He's just broke and wanted to practice safe sex. What are you supposed to do when money is tight but you got some action lined up for the evening? Okay, this man stole

a vibrator from Target, some condoms, personal lubricant. By the way, isn't all lubricant personal? Who is going to use public lubricant? Okay, he stole several

sexual enhancement products and a t-shirt. He heard Envy say when a woman compliments your t-shirt, that means she wants you. So he went and stole a nice graphic tee

from Target that says, rock out with your... Okay, along with all those sexy time items. Now, as a person who loves Target, I mean, loves it. OK, I've been shopping at Target so long back when they had Mosey Moe T-shirts. OK, now they got good fellas. OK, four pack crew neck.

Sixteen ninety nine. But let's be real. Inflation got everything up. So we tallied all this stuff up. OK, David stole Trojan magnum bare skin lubricated large condoms 18.99 i think he was weird really wearing magnums let me hold on let me get the cost of some the cost of some durex just to be safe okay trojan pleasure pack 36 of them for 25.49 then they have plus one fluttering arouser rechargeable and waterproof clitoral stimulators 37 49 ky

warming water-based jelly personal lube 2.5 ounces 16 39 rechargeable and waterproof vibrating penis rings 139 a pop it says he sold several of them so let's just say seven that's 973 that's like 1100 dollars of sexy time stuff he stole from target oh and the graphic t not making any excuses for this man but when you financially handicap but someone wants to have sex with you then you have two options either go raw and use what you got at the house for sexy time which increases the chances of household items like remote controls and perfectly good fruit getting stuck in places they don't have no business being. So either it's option A or option B, you steal what you need from Target. I don't recommend either, but I understand.

The police said when they arrested him and was putting him in the patrol car, a pink vibrator fell out his pants and vibrated on the ground. I'm not making any of this up. You heard the news report for yourself. Now, this isn't the only reason I'm giving him donkey of the day, though. The reason I'm giving him donkey of the day on top of the shoplifting of the sexy time items is because he won't turn in his accomplice. David, there's nothing wrong with snitching on the person who encouraged you to do this. Okay, eyewitnesses said his accomplice was driving a red Ferrari 488 GTV.

What is it called, Envy? What is it? It's a 488 Ferrari GTV. You have one of those, don't you? No, I don't. Yes, you do. No, I don't. And they described him as being of Spanish descent, about 6'1", 6'2".

They described his beard as drawn on. Yo, shut up, man. And the license plate said Envious. Yo, shut up, man. And even though David was caught with a large amount of items, they say they saw David put several items in the trunk of the Ferrari as his accomplice sped away. Now, as a law-abiding citizen, all I'm saying is, someone in this room fits the description,

and I see a whole lot of evidence, okay, all around this room. Envy, before I give David the biggest hee-haw, do you want to tell us something? No. Well, if anybody has any information, or if you just want to turn En NVN, call Glizzy Stoppers. The number is 1-800-585-TIPS. Don't forget TIPS in all caps.

Please give David Romero the sweet sounds and the hammer tones. Oh, now you are the donkey of the day. You are the doggy Of the day Yeehaw Yeehaw Out of everything you brought up here today, this is clearly the most interesting. Why a voodoo doll?

You know I'm from South Carolina. I'm in the roots and stuff. But why this voodoo doll? And the voodoo doll says things like, No, I don't like your idea. Listen to my proposal. Shut up. Tell me you love your idea. Listen to my proposal. Shut up. Tell me you love my contributions. Appreciate my hard work.

Give me the credit for my work. Stop pressuring me. No, you clean the bathroom. Pay for my lunch. Get your own dang coffee. Fire the office, idiot. Give me a raise. Go get your own anniversary gift.

And on the ass, it says, you know what you are. That's right. There you go. That's the one I wanted. All right. Well, thank you for's the one I wanted. All right. Well, thank you for that donkey of the day. And let me salute to Doc's cake shop. You're so proud of yourself, Taylor.

And let me just tell Doc, we appreciate you. I know that you usually make serious and amazing cakes. And the fact that you was able to make my ass cake, we appreciate you. Thank you so much for coming last minute. Here's a tip, Doc. Here's a tip. You gave him a tip? I gave him a penis candy. I gave him. Here's a tip. You gave him a tip? I gave him a penis candy.

I gave him one of your penis candies. You gave him a tip. Jesus Christ. All right. BET, I'm so sorry for today. I'm sorry. No, I'm not. We're kids.

We're kids. Salute to Elijah, too. Elijah's so stupid. Elijah works up here, too. He came in here, he goes, here you go, Charlemagne, pin the tail on the donkey. He just walked away.

That's your birthday. A pin the tail on the donkey party game? That's your birthday, yeah. Thank y'all. All all right thank you all right you want some someone to ask no i don't man man what is that i don't know what that is that's the credits the credits are rolling all right now let's open up the phone lines 800-585-1051 we were talking about this in the rumors let's take it away from casanova and his girlfriend. Let's just say if your man had to do 15 years in prison, would

you stay? Would you hold him down? Hey, don't y'all call up here lying this morning. 800-585-1051. And I think we gotta define what hold him down means. Because hold him down can mean you're gonna help him with his everything that got to do with his case and his lawyers and commissary and all that. That you're going to help him with his everything that got to do with his case. Nah, hold him down. And his lawyers.

You stay and wait for him to come out. Commissary and all that. That you're not playing the field. That ain't, I don't believe. I think most girls, they'll say they doing that lying, but we can talk about it. All right, we'll talk about it when we come back. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. The Breakfast Club.

Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Lamisoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. That's pound 250 from your cell and say the bull.