The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Man Robs Kwik Shop Using Hostess Cinnamon Roll Box
Episode Date: February 29, 2024See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show,
where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more.
After those runs, the conversations keep going.
That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about.
It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories,
their journeys, and the thoughts that
arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherevere haw, dude. It's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm not even trying to be Donkey of the Day no more.
They should be embarrassed by what they already did.
I'm not making these people do these things.
It's called Donkey of the Day, and it really caught me off guard.
Damn, Solomon.
Who got the Donkey of the Day today?
Well, Donkey of the Day for Thursday, February 29th,
last day of Black History Month,
goes to a 24-year-old man named Isaiah Bartu.
Isaiah is from Nebraska, ladies and gentlemen.
Is Mr. Ellis in Nebraska?
He might be.
Just depends on your definition of ill.
Okay, by ill, you mean mentally?
Yeah, that's probably true.
See, Isaiah was looking for a sweet lick.
Y'all know what a sweet lick is, right?
Huh?
All you toxic studs, calm down. I'm not talking about know what a sweet lick is, right? Huh? All you toxic studs, calm down
I'm not talking about that kind of sweet lick
Alright?
Okay
I'm talking about the kind of sweet lick
That the Urban Dictionary defines as easy money
Basically, if I wanted to rob you
Take something from you
It would be easy to do
So I guess Isaiah
Knowing he had a sweet lick
Decided to use something sweet
To get the lick off
All the toxic studs out there are like, Uncle Charlotte, what are you talking about?
Why do you keep talking about sweets and licks?
You're making us hungry and horny.
I'm an asshore.
Well, let's go to 1011 Now News for the report, please.
A Lincoln man is in jail, accused of holding up a quick shop and taking money from the register.
Police say Isaiah Bartu walked into the store earlier this week and demanded money.
An employee tells officers Bartu had a hostess cinnamon roll box over his hand,
making them believe he was armed with a gun.
They gave him money and he took off.
Investigators say Bartu was later found nearby with a handgun, money, and meth.
He's facing a number of charges, including for robbery and weapons violations.
I don't get it. This is what I don't understand.
If you actually had a handgun that police caught you with later, after the robbery,
why would you rob Quick Shop with a box of Hostess cinnamon rolls?
What is the reason? You had a pistol, but you decided to use pastries?
This man has a gun
tatted on his right forearm why i don't know because clearly it's just for show because he
chose cinnabons over guns yeah i like cinnabons over guns too especially when i'm high off marijuana
with the munchies or when i'm at charleston international airport but not when robbing a
quick shop okay we all play too much all right I don't understand why humans play with their own lives
and the lives of others.
You go in quick shop with a box of cinnamon rolls.
Now the person behind the counter is fearing for their life
because they think you got a gun.
They might have a gun and they might be faster on the draw.
Next thing you know, you dead over at Danish.
How you gonna explain that in the afterlife?
Okay, sitting in hell over hosted cinnamon rolls?
Eternal hellfire for cinnamon swirls.
The news report says the female clerk feared the container of hostess cinnamon rolls contained
the handgun.
That's why she gave up the money.
But no, it was just individually wrapped frosted pastries.
Young lady, you did the right thing.
Drop on the clues box for that young lady.
This isn't social media where you have time to figure out if something is real or not.
Quick shopping, dying for you.
Give that man a couple dollars for his latest meth habit and move on.
Now, I don't know whether to blame this on the meth or the current society we live in.
See, I understand drugs make you do something strange for a little bit of change.
But we also just live in a strange society.
It's a bizarre world where a man would absolutely leave his pistol at home, but put his hostess in a gun holster to go rob the quick shop only to get caught and charged for his pistol later.
Some donkey in the days just sell themselves.
Please give Isaiah Bartu the sweet sounds of the Hamiltons.
You are the donkey of the day.
You are the donkey of the day.
Yee-haw.
What just happened?
I don't know why you're squeezing that bottle of water like that.
That really gets to me.
I don't know why.
It's like, why do you have to squeeze the bottle of water like that?
Look at that.
But he does that with everything.
Like, he's very rough paws with everything.
You see the way he puts lotion on his face?
Oh, my God.
He beats his face up.
You see the way he puts chapstick on?
Absolutely.
He beats his lips up.
Why are y'all so judgmental in this room?
It's too early in the morning to be so judgmental.
No, we're not judging you.
We want you to take
better care of yourself
and calm down.
Calm down.
Your strength is crazy.
Jesus.
I have a quick announcement,
by the way.
You know that I am
a New York Times...
Give me some drum rolls
or something, Ray.
You know I am
a New York Times
bestselling author, right?
Yes, sir.
National bestseller.
Thank you to everyone
who has purchased
my first book,
Black Privilege Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It, which came out in 2016. Thank you
to everyone who supported my second book, Shook One Anxiety, Playing Tricks on Me, that came out
in 2018. Yes. And since then, I have launched my own book imprint with Simon & Schuster called
Black Privilege Publishing. Yes. And I am proud to announce this morning that my third book titled get honest or die lying why small talk sucks
i repeat my third book titled get honest or die lying why small talk sucks will be available
may 21st 2024 okay and it is available for pre-order everywhere you buy books now okay so
whether it's amazon barnes and nobles wherever you buy your books you can go purchase uh pre-order my third book right now get honest or die lying why small
talk sucks okay the book is literally how i hate small talk on all levels all right don't just come
up to me talking about nothing for the sake of talking and it's how uh it's about how we make
micros macros in this society and we spend so much time talking about small things that don't matter.
So May 21st, 2024, my third book, Get Honest, our guideline, why small talk sucks will be in bookstores everywhere.
But it's available for preorder right now.
There you go. Congratulations.
OK, so who thought of the title?
The author.
It is so long.
That's like...
It's really not.
What is it?
What is it?
Let me show you how it looks on the book.
See?
It's just like the movie.
And you see...
Get Honest or Die Alive.
See, I grew up a Jehovah's Witness, right?
Oh my God, I'm familiar with my cousin D too.
Yeah.
Who, Sheena?
No, London.
Oh.
Sheena's my best friend.
Oh, yeah, I know London.
Yes, oh my God.
So this is like the My Book of Bible stories that we grew up on.
You see like the yellow with the red font.
Yeah.
Yes.
The ones that will ring the doorbell on Sunday.
Leave us alone.
Get honest or die lying.
Why small talk sucks.
Okay.
Available for preorder right now.
Everywhere you buy books.
But that just really reminds me of like the movie.
I know what you did last summer.
And then the part two was like, I still know what you did last summer.
And then the third one was like, I still ain't forget what you did last summer
Oh my god
No please
That is so wrong
I hope it's goodbye
Because the title's so long
All of my potatos will learn
Black privilege
Opportunity comes to those who create it
Shook one
Anxiety playing tricks on me
Get honest or die lying
Why small talk sucks
Look you can't even say it fast
Cause you
You can't even say it fast
I don't wanna say it fast
Yes you can Get honest or die lying Why small talk sucks't even say i don't want to say it fast yes
you get honest or die lying why small talk what's the first one what's the first one get honest or
die lying no what's the first one black privilege opportunity comes to those exactly it's so long
you gotta like really really rehearse it get it down fast gals gals i'm a new york times best
seller gals go pre-order your book right now gals g, gals, gals. Everybody in New York saying that. I'm a New York bestseller.
I'm a New York bestseller.
Everybody is a New York bestseller. You're going to be saying that too.
I surely am.
That's right.
My book is just going to be called Club Arnton.
No, it's not.
That is not what it's just going to be called.
Donkey of the Day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Laminstall.
Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side.
If you're ever injured, go to MichaelTheBull.com.
That's MichaelTheBull.com. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.
Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show,
where I run with celebrities,
athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what
my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even
deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together.
Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.