The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Man Trades Seats With Dog To Avoid DUI Arrest

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Man Trades Seats With Dog To Avoid DUI ArrestSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don't be out here acting like a donkey. Hee-haw, bitch! Hee-haw! It's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a big boy, I can take it. If he feel I deserve it, ain't no big deal. I know Charlemagne and God are gonna have some funny shit. Say out his mouth. If you gotta say something you may not agree with, doesn't mean I mean it. Who's getting that donkey? That donkey. That donk-donk-donk-donk-donk.

Donkey of the Day, right here. The Breakfast Club, bitches! You can call me the donkey of the day but like i mean no harm donkey of the day for tuesday may 16th let me make sure it's may 16th may 16th right yeah yes it's may 16th goes to a 28 year old colorado man who has not been named but he was arrested for drinking and driving speeding and resisting arrest listen ever so often i have to get on this radio and remind y'all of the dangers of drinking and driving why i don't know i can't believe that in 2023 folks are still catching duis with all these ride share you know uh apps that are available

there is absolutely never a reason to get behind the wheel of a vehicle intoxicated i know i have told y'all about the many drunk driving campaigns that exist. Drive sober or get pulled over. Buzz driving is drunk driving. The drive sober, no regrets campaign that has the billboards with the car totaled. And it says you survived. They didn't. Powerful, powerful anti-drunk driving campaigns exist. So we can't act like we don't know.

But yet you still have folks like this 28-year-old in Colorado who choose to drink and drive. Now, drinking and driving is always donkey of the day worthy, but that's not the only reason this 28-year-old man is getting donkier today. See, one of the most fascinating things about drunk drivers is they always act like they're not drunk. Even when they are visibly intoxicated, they will say they're not drunk. That's why field sobriety tests are so hilarious because people choose to take these field sobriety tests knowing they don't have what it takes to pass them and most of the time when you're drunk you smell like you're drunk you talk like you're drunk and you think like you're drunk and you have no idea how

stupid you sound but i guarantee never in the history of life have you heard a drunk story like this one. See, this man was drunk. Okay, pissy drunk. And the police know he was drunk out of his mind. But he absolutely confirmed he was drunk when he did what he did to attempt to get out of this situation. Let's go to NBC News 9 for the report, please. Rough night for at least a driver in a southeastern Colorado town. That's because he tried to switch seats with his dog after being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. Now, what happened in the small town of Springfield, that's in Colorado's southeastern corner. Springfield police say an officer pulled over a driver going 52 and a 30, and then the driver tried to switch seats with his dog.

The dog had been in the passenger seat. Police say there were also two had been in the passenger seat. Police say there were also two sober people in the back seat, one of whom the actual owner of the car. Springfield's police chief says he doesn't know why one of them wasn't driving. The driver, who they found in the passenger seat, was booked on several charges, as well as two prior warrants coming out of Pueblo not not every crime comes with a criminal mastermind it seems like no it does not depending on this the status of the person who switched the dog may have been a better driver humans are so silly i mean we're just a silly species tell me you're intoxicated

without telling me you're intoxicated you get pulled over for drunk driving you got two sober people in the back seat your dog in the passenger seat instead of picking the two sober people to switch places with you switch places with your dog like not dog isn't slang like this your homie like your dog the actual animal the domesticated descendant of the wolf you put that carnivore in the driver's seat and look the police dead in their eye and tell them your four-legged fairy friend is driving. You know, I think it's high time that we as humans apologize to dogs. Okay, we say things like they're man's best friend, but the reality is, if you had a best friend that you lied on as much as we lie on dogs, that wouldn't be your friend.

Okay, think about the lies we tell on our dogs. The biggest one, my dog ate my homework. Okay, first of all, how come your dog's so hungry that it would have to eat your homework? All right, that should have always been the first response to anyone who used this lie, My dog ate my homework. First of all, how come your dog's so hungry that it would have to eat your homework? That should have always been the first response to anyone who used this lie, who is neglecting and not feeding this mongrel at your house, that they had to eat your homework. And how many times have you farted amongst company?

One of those silent killers that for whatever reason you thought it wouldn't smell, but it did, and you blamed it on Rover. We as humans owe dogs a massive massive apology and what we don't realize as humans is that dogs have the ability to detect deception there was a study that researchers at the university of vienna did that shows dogs know when your ass is lying okay when you're telling him you don't got any more scraps to share when you're telling her it's too cold outside for a walk in the summertime when they barking and won't stop barking because they know that man you got in your bedroom is not your husband yes researchers at the University of Vienna said this week dogs know when you're lying to them about almost anything and what's sad is dogs don't

speak the same language as humans so even when they trying to explain to other humans that this human is lying it just sounds like a bunch of noise a bunch of barking don't believe me but we actually have audio footage from the actual traffic stop this is the actual traffic stop that happened in Colorado with a human who was drunk driving switch seats with his dog let's listen dog. Let's listen. Good morning. License and registration, please. Okay, well, Mr. Barkley, do you know why I

pulled you over? Actually, you were swerving in between lanes. Your car smells like kibbles and bits and I see the empty bottles on your floor. You should get a DWB. Oh, you sick puppy. No, not driving while black. DWB is a dog with beers.

I don't care if you're having a hoof day. You don't drink and drive, doggone it. Now step out of the car. You just got yourself sent to the doghouse. I don't care if you're having a rough day. You don't drink and drive, doggone it. Now step out of the car. You just got yourself sent to the doghouse. Ah, they're dog feet on me. Free Fido. Please give this 28-year-old Colorado man who switched seats with his dog to avoid a DUI the biggest hee-haw.

It's a damn shame what we be doing to dogs nowadays all right that's all we got i know you're not about to play i'm not about to play a game of guess what race it is with the damn dog don't look at me like that. No. I don't even know what race the person is. Or the dog. All right. Okay. All right. All right.

Well, thank you for that donkey today. Everybody on BET, we'll see you guys tomorrow. The credits are rolling on BET right now. That's right. And BET, if you're disgusted as I am, you should be. Because humans are a silly, silly species. But these are the people you trust in with chat GPT and AI. All right.

Well, let's open up the phone lines. Let's play a stupid game. 800-585-1051. I want to hear from you guys out there. What's the craziest thing you blamed on your dog? Oh, yes. This is a good one. This is a good one.

What is the craziest thing you've ever blamed on your dog? I remember we had a producer here one time. And she didn't make it. It wasn't a dog, though a dog though i know i know but i just got to tell the story she couldn't make it to work because she was locked in the bathroom by her cat and she said her cat hit the lock button on the on the doorknob and locked it in the bathroom you know we love you you know who you are remember that same person that same person said that when the alarm didn't go off. The cat chewed the wire on the alarm clock. The cat chewed the wire on the alarm.

That was another time. That's right. Yes. So we're asking, 800-585-1051. What's one thing that your dog did that you blamed your dog on? That you did that you blamed your dog on. That is the question. And you owe your dog an apology.

Take this time this morning to not only tell us what you lied on your dog about, but also to apologize to your dog for lying, damn it. 800-585-1051. I mean, let's have this conversation. Yes. It's the Breakfast Club. Long overdue. The Breakfast Club.

Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Lamisoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. That's pound 250 from your cell and say the bull.