The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Pilot Fired For Snorting Cocaine Off Woman's Breasts Hours Before Flight

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

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It's time for Donkey of the Day. So if you ever feel I need to be a donkey man, hit me with the heel. Did she get donkey in the name please, Deli? Absolutely. I have become Donkey of the Day. It's the Breakfast Club, bitches. You're a donkey. Yeah, Donkey of the Day for Thursday, September 28th goes to a British Airways pilot named Mike Beaton.

Now, I think I've told y'all how I feel about pilots. When I fly long flights, especially overseas, I always give pilots gift cards. Drop on the clues bombs for all the pilots out there. Okay? Give them a little gift card, man. Starbucks, little Dunkin' Donuts gift card. Why? Because none of us selfish humans ever think about who's actually getting us to these destinations safely.

We just get on the plane and pray and then clap when we land as if it's not two to three humans in that cockpit ensuring we get to where we need to be safely. We just get on the plane and pray and then clap when we land as if it's not two to three humans in that cockpit ensuring we get to where we need to be safely. So I personally never know

what kind of day that pilot is having, who that pilot is. I like to show them love and look them in the eyes and thank them for what they're about to do and I write a little note

to them, let them know they're loved and valued and appreciated. Try it sometime. You write a note and all that too let them know they're loved and valued and appreciated. Try it sometime. You write a note and all that too? Yes, absolutely. Okay, pilots are people who are performing a public service for us that we don't appreciate and we should

because if you got a pilot who's having a bad day, whose mental health may not be where it needs to be, who's emotionally unstable in any way, look out below. That's facts. Literally. So this is why I have no problems giving pilots a small token of appreciation like a gift card,

just to keep their spirits up. Now, Mike Beaton doesn't want my gift cards to keep his spirits up. Nah. He's like, keep the caffeine and sugar that comes from Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. He's staying up with good old-fashioned cocaine. Oh, he gets high as the friendly skies. The thing is, I don't want you getting high and then proceeding to try to fly. Let's go to TMZ for the report, please. So this pilot for British Airways was in Johannesburg and he had a text exchange with one of his co-workers who was a flight attendant.

About a wild layover in every sense of the word. So he went out to a bar and was drinking and he met a Welsh girl and a Spanish girl. And they decide to take the party private. They're all hooking up in the room. The locals bring out cocaine at one point. The girls are dancing topless. I've lost my shirt somewhere. And then there's a debate about whose chest is the best to do a bump off. But the biggest problem? He was flying within 24 hours of that. Yep, this moron actually thought he was going to fly a plane the next day.

They are not supposed to have anything to drink within 24 hours. Which is why the flight attendant he was texting turned him in. He's about to board the plane and they basically take him. He got drug tested. Failed the drug test. No kidding. Fired from his job and it turns out he has a wife.

I'm sorry, Lauren. I didn't mean to trigger you. No, no, no. It actually made me smile because Devin, that was Devin. Devin Rowe from TMZ. He's like, we used to sit behind each other. He's like my bro. He's so supportive of me.

Lauren was the senior news producer at TMZ. Devin's a senior news producer as well, too. He's so supportive. He texts me and let me know how amazing I'm doing here. So shout out to Devin. Shout out to Devin. But Mike Beaton. Mike Beaton was in Johannesburg sniffing booger sugar off

breasts. Remember earlier when we were discussing body counts and I was saying how men can't help but discuss their sexual conquest. Thank God for the chatty pattiness in this situation because if it wasn't for Mike Beaton admitting to a stewardess friend that he

had this drug and drink orgy, he might have been in that cockpit, okay? She told on him, and that's what prevented him from being able to fly. I have so many questions, like, what's longer, the line of cocaine he was sniffing or TSA at the airport on any given Sunday? Remember the movie How High when this was set?

Remember? If I study high, take the test high, get high scores. That was Mike Beaton's mentality when he took his aviation test. I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores. That was Mike Beaton's mentality when he took his aviation test. I figure if I study high, take the test high, while I'm flying high, I'll get high scores. Listen, man, I tell y'all on this radio all the time, only thing keeping us safe and alive majority of the time is the behavior of other people. Do you realize how often we put our livelihood in the hands of others?

This is why public servants deserve so much respect. I'm talking about something as simple as ordering a cup of coffee, ordering some tea, some food. Folks could easily put poison in your stuff if they wanted to. Uber drivers could drive off bridges if they wanted to.

Pilots can sniff cocaine off breasts and then fly if they wanted to. Uber drivers can drive off bridges if they wanted to. Pilots can sniff cocaine off breasts and then fly if they wanted to. If they didn't get caught like Mike. And someone prevented Mike from doing it, okay? They could be up there high off cocaine, imagining that clouds are mounds and mounds of that white girl they in love with. This is why we must thank people for their service

because public service is proof that people really aren't as bad as florida and the bronx make us think people are okay because the reality is if they were we would all be dead telepilot thank you for your service today telepilot thank you for not sniffing cocaine off a stripper's breast last night and getting us here safely tell people who are public servants thank you for providing your time and talents. Mike Beaton, listen, this ain't a movie, dog. You are not Denzel in flight. I know flight was based off a true story too. Captain Whitaker was his name, but you can't be under the influence of a substance and decide to fly. And if you did feel you were Denzel in flight, Captain Whitaker, then maybe the cocaine and drinks made you pass out before you saw the

whole movie. Because at the end of the movie and in real life, Captain Whitaker went to prison. 16 months. And if you're in prison for 16 months, you might still get your hands on cocaine. But that cocaine is going to come out of somebody's ass. Okay, being in the cockpit takes on a whole new meaning in prison. So does the Mile High Club. In prison, Mile is an inmate's name. You're probably going to have to get high to deal with that turbulence.

Jesus. The moral of the story is, Mike, what you were attempting to do was selfish. You don't deserve to be a pilot because when you're a pilot, you have to think of people other than yourself. You have to think of this whole plane you're flying. Clearly, you're not capable of doing that. So turn in your wings. Please give Mike Beaton the sweet sound of the hamilton you are the donkey

of the day you are the donkey of the day i wonder why she snitched on him though Because she gotta fly with him What's wrong with you? But what she should've did Because that's her co-worker That's her friend Right? Because if you text somebody

I'm sniffing coke off a boobie That's gotta be That's your friend Yeah And what she should've did I feel like Is like look You can't fly like this

You take the day off Or I'ma tell Give him the option And I'm sure he would've took the day off No when you mid-trip like that, like when I used to fly with Delta, right, if you mid-trip and you call out mid-trip, it could potentially cause a whole lot of logistical

because now they got to fly a pilot and they got to figure out the time. But I'd rather that than they had to cancel this flight. It causes a whole lot of things so that's probably why he wasn't trying to do it and then they want to know, well, why? Like, what's going on? Because he could have said, I'm sick, I have diarrhea, I i think i have covid there could have been so many different ways to make an excuse i will say that there is a certain code though amongst like i never i wasn't friends with any

of the pilots but amongst the flight attendants there was a certain code of like we take care of each other i've never flown with anybody that was under the influence of anything but i do know stuff go down you have to you have to tell on this person for the reason I just stated, because what he did was selfish. It was. It probably wasn't the first time. It was probably the first time he got caught. So even if you don't tell on him to the people and he just decided to make up some excuse as to why he couldn't show up,

that don't mean he wouldn't do this again at another time. And what if he does this again at another time in the plane crashes or something? Now you as a steward is going to feel bad because you could have stopped him just like Spider-Man could have stopped that guy before he went to kill uncle bent spider-man's fake but everything with you reverts to like superheroes and cartoons yeah yes wolverine tattooed it on his arm but um judge the inner child in me you're right but but it gets to the point if that's your friend right and you know they're gonna get fired so why when you say

hey i'm not gonna let you fly this plane you make an excuse and you gotta get yourself right because that's your friend He actually doesn't need to be a pilot at all if he's making these kind of choices. It might have been just one bad choice. This might have been one time he did it. No, no, no. It becomes just work to you. Like the same way this is just work to y'all and other people. Like, oh my God, it literally becomes just work to you. But you get your friend fired,

like axed, and then he has to go home and now he's got to deal with his wife. You would definitely. And now he's going to get a divorce from his wife because he just sniffed some bump off of a random woman's breakfast. You deserve to get a divorce if you're doing all that. But your friend shouldn't tell on you. Your layover. Honestly, it couldn't have been a long layover.

It was a short one because he had to be back on the plane before 24 hours. So that means you're going back home to your family in less than 48 hours. The divorce is his. I reserve the right to get a friend. You're up here with one of your besties, right? Who was not paying attention this morning and could have got robbed and not seen him. But we're not going to talk about that. But let's say you did some F-ish, right?

Now, instead of telling you and she told on you and you got fired from whatever job you had. Isn't that foul? It's different if I'm flying a plane. It was so funny. Her friend pointed And she was like I got the fire I got the fire

I got the fire She was like I got my Alright you know what Let's open up the phone lines 800-585-1051 What's the question We're asking

Should the lady Have told on him And turned him in Or should she have Tried to handle it On the side Instead of getting That man fired

And getting that man Divorced I hate when you ask What's the question We're asking But then ask the question on him and turn him in or she here and try to handle it on the side instead of getting that man fired and getting that man divorced. I hate when you ask what's the question we're asking but then ask the question. You say, I hate the question you're asking

and then tell the question. It's a part of his like lineup, bro. It's silly. Okay, Kim Kardashian and Kourtney. Just say the question. Who's Kim?

I'm Kim. He's giving Kim right now. I'm Kim. No, he's something on your moment. I'm Kim. Okay, Kim. I'm glad you know I'm Kim.

No, he is not Kim. Thank you very much. He's not Kim. It's work I I'm Kim. No, I'm Kim. I'm Kim. Okay. I'm glad you know I'm Kim. No, he is not Kim. Thank you very much. This work I've been doing. No. His ass don't say Kim. I got Kim's ass. Oh, let me see. Okay. Alright. You don't have Kim's ass. No. Alright. We gotta go. We gotta move on. BET, we'll see you later.

We can do the challenge. That was on TV. I did that on TV. Okay. What challenge you wanna do? That little bench press challenge they was doing. Yeah, we can do that. I know it. I know it's gonna did that on TV. Okay, what challenge you want to do? That little bench press challenge they was doing. People was laying on their stomachs. We can do that. Yeah, we can do that. I know it. I know it's going to stop me.

I know it's going to stop on my glutes. Let's do it. All right. You ain't got to do that. You ain't saying nothing but a word. All right. You ain't saying nothing but a word. How do y'all wives put up with y'all?

I cannot. That's the good question. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. The Breakfast Club.