The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: UK Man Pleads Guilty To Having Sex With A Cow

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

UK Man Pleads Guilty To Having Sex With A CowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I was donkey of the day, baby! Bam! The hee-haw again? It's time for donkey of the day. Is that me? The hee-haw again? I ain't trying to be donkey of the day no more. They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm not making these people do these things. They called donkey of the day and it really caught me off guard.

Damn, Charlamagne! Who got the donkey of the day today? Oh, man. Donkey of the day for Thursday, August 31st goes to a human named Liam Brown. Now, I want to start this donkey of the day by saying, my fellow Earthlings, it is a time, it's time that we need to bring shame back. Okay? We need to bring back shame. Or should I say we need to bring back shaming.

All right? Public shaming. All right? There are those of us who still publicly and privately shame our circle, but we have gotten away from shaming folks. We don't know. You know, we don't know if we want to shame people anymore because people are sensitive and you end up getting backlash for publicly shaming someone for something they shouldn't be doing. That's the crazy part. Folks be out here doing the wrong thing and we can't shame them for doing the wrong thing. We have to have empathy for their foolishness. Strange times that we live in.

But I say it's over for all that when certain things happen and no certain things are proven to be true, then folks need to get shamed. Now, earlier this year, I had high cholesterol, but that statin and baby aspirin a day along with a lot more exercise and a healthy diet got my cholesterol profile excellent and well below goal. Drop on the clues bombs for me. Okay. Now, one thing I cut from my diet is red meat. Been cut fried foods out of my diet, but red meat was something that I was still holding on to. When the doctor told me, let it go, I let it go. The Chick-fil-A cow would be proud of me because not only do I eat more chicken, I don't do dairy either. Because Jess and I got a dermatologist named Dr. Natasha Sandy, and she forbids us from eating dairy.

That's why our melanin glows the way it does. Well, Liam Brown, he disagrees with us not taking advantage of cows. Liam Brown wants us to love cows. The way he loves cows, you know. Who in this room loves beef? Raise your hand. I like beef. I hate beef.

You know I love beef. Pause. Pause. Pause. You think you love beef as much as Liam? All right. Now we talking crazy. What are you doing?

No. I don't think y'all do because the way Liam loves cows is nasty. See, Liam was found guilty of sexual penetration with a living animal and causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal which makes me wonder did he use a condom okay having unprotected sex on a protected animal should be a felony all right liam is 25 years old and he was caught having sex with a cow after a suspicious farmer set up cameras to catch his ass the farmer felt like his cows were being abused and targeted but he didn't realize how deep that abuse was until he set up cameras to catch his ass. The farmer felt like his cows were being abused and targeted,

but he didn't realize how deep that abuse was until he set up a CCTV and an alarm, and that's when he caught Liam sneaking onto the farm and boarding the beef bus. All right, how you gonna do a hot beef injection into some actual beef? Liam, I'm from the country, so I've heard a cow tipping, but giving tips to the cow was nuts.

And Liam can't deny it because the new surveillance system caught his ass on camera plus a sample of DNA. Oh. Don't tell me not to kink shame a man who probably uses pickup lines like ducks go quack, cows go moo. Let me stick it in and y'all go ooh. All right. This man, Liam, had the nerve to cry in court. What you crying for, Liam, huh? Because you feel stupid because you went to the Urban Dictionary and didn't read what the definition for a sex cow actually was?

Now, a sex cow, according to the Urban Dictionary, is not a cow at all. Okay? It's not a cow you have sex with. A sex cow, according to the Urban Dictionary, is a fat girl you keep around just to have sex with. Used in a sentence after giving me a BJ, my sex cow and I almost broke my bed. Are y'all ready to start shaming people yet? Okay, we should shame whoever is behind Urban Dictionary for calling fat women sex cows. All right?

Now, I know the Chick-fil-A cow wants us to eat more chicken, but clearly Liam has never been a wingman. All right? Nor a thigh man. Or a breast man. All right? This fool likes beef, but clearly Liam has never been a wingman. All right. Nor a thigh man. Or a breast man. All right. This fool likes beef. And I bet you he was a vegetarian. All right.

He don't want to eat Cal, but he'll put his plant-based penis in one quickly. Now, Jess Hilarious is here. Okay. Jess, it's corny dad joke time. Okay. All right. I'm not a corny dad at all. I just need your voice.

I need to call Nick for this. I just need your voice. Because Jess is from Baltimore, and there's nothing I love more than a Baltimore accent. And I think her Baltimore accent is perfect for this today. Now, Jess, I'm going to ask you a couple questions, and I just want you to answer them. Oh, my God. Yeah. The farmer caught Liam Brown on camera having sex with his

cow some would say that being he's being that he's on camera him and the cow made a what a movie exactly okay i got i got a couple more i like that i like that one i like that one i like i like that one i like that one liam brown okay went. I like that one. I like that one. Liam Brown, okay, went. Liam Brown had sex. No, okay. Liam Brown went on this farm to make what on the cows? What? Moves.

A move. Oh, wow. He made hella moves. Okay, okay. Well, if Liam Brown had sex with the cows, I hope he at least tried to set the what? The mood. Yo, nobody's laughing. Nobody's laughing.

Nobody black is laughing. It's not funny. Yo, I hate this. A mood. And it's literally because of my accent. He's a clown. The moral of the story is, stay away from red meat. All right? Please give Liam Brown the biggest hee-haw.

No, he was probably crying in court because he was separated from his lover. He had to go to jail. He was in love with that cow. That is true. That cow had some goods. That's true. You know? Oh my God, it's so weird. He might have wanted to have a family. Listen, you know what?

Listen, cows are... I know, they just hate us. It's like, if y'all not killing us, y'all raping us. You skeet on us. It's like, yo, what is happening? How do you skeet on a cow, bro? It's crazy.

Oh my God. Well, let's lighten the mood. Oh, you're a clown. You're a clown. Alright. Well, peace BET. We'll see y'all tomorrow. Bye BET.

I will see y'all tomorrow.