The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Woman Admits To Eating Her Grandmothers Remains I Ate My Nan

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

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It's time for Donkey of the Day. It's a read, but you're so good at it. You're trying to be a fake-ass Charlemagne. There's only one Charlemagne to go. Damn, Charlemagne. Who you give the Dusty of the Day to now? Well, Sexy Red, Donkey of the Day for Friday, March 31st.

The last day of mental health awareness month goes to a young woman named Cheyenne. Cheyenne was a caller on an episode of Fifi, Fev, and Nick. Or is it Fifi, Feeb, and Nick? Fifi, Fifi Fev and Nick. Or is it Fifi Feeb and Nick? Fifi Feeb and Nick. What is Fifi Feeb and Nick?

It is an Australian morning show on 101.9 The Fox in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. They have two men and a young lady set up just like The Breakfast Club, okay? And they had a very interesting caller this week, and it was Cheyenne. Now, I don't know if this is real or not, but I have some experience with taking calls on radio, so I believe it is. Cheyenne called in to admit to doing something that I believe we should discuss.

Let's go to Fifi, Feeve, and Nick in the morning for the call, please. I ate my nan. Ah! Stop, stop. Let me stop. Stop. I just want y'all to know,

she starts it off by saying, I ate my nana. You know what a nana is, right? Grandma. Grandma. Let's continue. I ate my nan. Ah!

How did you eat your nan? So my nan passed away in August last year and got cremated. And obviously my family and myself were grieving. So I went over to Mum's one night and thought to cheer her up a bit. Let's just taste Nan. This is the part I've told nobody. My brother got out of jail not too long ago, and he thought it would be funny to prank him, and I put some of Nan's ashes in the pasta sauce.

Oh, Shia. Oh, Cheyenne. Spaghetti a la Nan. My God. Have you got any left? Yeah, there's a whole box of her left. But you're not, have you stopped eating it? I'll say yes for your sake, Fifi. You can hear the sincerity in her voice.

She's still got the ashes on her tongue. And my question is why? Why, why, why? You're supposed to be getting recipes from grandma, not adding grandma to the recipes. Okay. How are you sitting around the house thinking to yourself, you know what? You know what I could add to this pasta to really make it hit? Not garlic, not oregano, grandma's ashes. Can you imagine? No. Can you imagine telling your grandma you make a good pasta?

Literally? Like instead of fettuccine alfredo, you got fettuccine al grandma. Instead of lasagna, you got la mama. Can you imagine sprinkling big mama's ashes on the mac and cheese in New Orleans? Instead of a po' boy, you can get a shrimp po' po'. Like we have to recognize that cannibals exist out here in fact i saw a story a story in baltimore where two cannibals were eating the clown and one cannibal turned to the other and asked does this taste a bit funny to you did you see that story just let me tell you

about that no okay it's a really crazy world we in like imagine coming over to Cheyenne's house to eat, and you say, I don't like your grandmother. And Cheyenne replies to you, well, try the potatoes. Okay, I don't know what's going on in the world anymore, guys. You know, sometimes I believe I have things figured out. Other times I realize I'm simply not hungry enough. See, when I start seeing y'all adding grandma to dishes, just lets me know I'm not really a fat ass like I think I am.

I thought I was a trans big Mac, but I'm not. So on topics like this, I defer to the president of the Fat Lives Matter community, the boss of the Big Mac Brigade, Big Mac. Oh, turn that wobble up for my guy. Why would y'all come with the oh? Get in here!

Get in here, Mac! How are you this morning, sir? Turn his mic on. Good morning. Good morning. How are you this morning, sir? Turn his mic on. Good morning. Good morning. How are you, sir? Big black and bass. Don't cave.

Now, did this make you hungry, this story? First off, as soon as I heard it, I was like, guess what, Ray? I knew it was white people. White people's pranks are a little different than black people. And this furthermore let me know that I'm never eating at white people's pranks are a little different than black people. And this furthermore let me know that I'm never eating at white people's houses. Because God forbid you're over at their house and they ask you if you want to try some Granny Smith apples.

It's a whole different Granny. Oh, it's your real Granny. So nobody wants that. You're over at white people's houses and they're like, yo, you want an Aunt Shirley Temple? I don't. I'm straight on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Granny Smith apple, probably a piece of Grandma's ass cheek, too.

You know, a little apple. And it's wrapped in plastic like the couches. That's interesting. Because think about somebody like Judge Judy. She got that thing, right? She got the thing behind. Absolutely. Right?

So imagine that's the piece of the little apple. But Judge Judy's a celebrity. So if they start doing it to celebrities, you could go somewhere and get a Steph Curry chicken from white people's houses. Ah. Yes, put a little Steph in there. I like that. It comes in threes. I like that.

So you buy that. So basically you all for cannibalism is what you're saying. Not all the way. You know, I eat women, but I won't, you know what I mean, I won't eat men. By the way way that's wild yeah imagine it's the end of the world

the apocalypse has come and there's nothing left to eat but each other and the only way to survive is to eat people and Max says

I'm not eating no men no I ain't putting Charlemagne in the air fryer man you better put me in the air fryer and say pause

after every bite you already looked like you was in there too long I'm like damn Charlemagne is burnt again hey man get your fat ass out of here okay knock it off You better put me in the air fryer and say pause after every bite. You already looked like you was in there too long. I'm like, damn. Charlemagne is burnt again. Hey, man, get your fat ass out of here. Okay, knock it off.

Well done over there. Give Cheyenne the biggest hee-haw, please. Jesus Christ. Guy always goes too far. All right. He can't really do that well. They so ghetto, man. All right.

Well, thank you for that donkey today. Donkey of the Day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to MichaelTheBull.com. That's MichaelTheBull.com. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Wake that ass up. In the morning.

The Breakfast Club.