The Breakfast Club - I Attend Sex Parties

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

On the latest episode of The Professional Homegirl Podcast, Eboné's guest opens up about attending sex parties and shares her personal experiences. Eboné's guest describes how her boyfriend introduced her to the scene and how she has always had a fascination with all things kink. She also shares both the best and worst nights she's experienced at these events, highlighting the differences between safe and shady play parties and emphasizing the crucial role of hosts in ensuring everyone's safety. Additionally, she discusses her preferences for women and the attractiveness of the people she's encountered at these parties. Eboné's guest also discusses her tendency to get tested every week due to paranoia, and the double standard she has of expecting her partner to wear condoms while not doing so herself. During the conversation with Eboné, her guest revealed that attending sex parties had a positive impact on her relationship with her partner, as he became more interested in participating in these events. Meanwhile, Eboné's guest interest in these parties seems to be dwindling. For those attending sex parties for the first time, Eboné's guest offers advice on maintaining privacy, feeling comfortable, and communicating with the host. If you're curious about the experiences and insights on sex parties, make sure to tune in to the latest episode of The Professional Homegirl Podcast!   Connect: @thephgpodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

last weekend i attended the first ever black effect podcast festival in atlanta and y'all it was absolutely amazing not only did i have the opportunity to be a part of the women in podcasting panel with some amazing women but I also got a chance to meet tons of new people shout out to my professional home girls for pulling up thank y'all for always holding me down and not up shout out to the cousins that was in the audience and last but not least shout out to my family from black effect Network. The festival was sold out, okay? And the energy, y'all, was fire. Trust me when I say this, if you didn't make it to this year's festival,

you do not, I repeat, you do not want to miss out on next year's event. Now let's get into this week's episode as my guest shares her experiences with sex parties. Sex parties have a history dating back to the sexual liberation movement in the 1970s and 1980s during which they began to gain popularity. While these events can take on different forms, they often involve an environment that promotes openness, exploration, and sexual expression.

Our guest today will share her personal experiences and insights on attending sex parties. It is important to remember that participation in these events should always be consensual, safe, and legal. To my guest, how are you doing? I am good. How are you? I'm all is well. All is cute. I can't complain. You know, I'm really excited to have this conversation with you. I'm excited as well. I love you. All is cute. I'm all cute too. Okay. It's all about the cuteness. Okay. Keeping it cute y'all. Now please describe what a sex party is and how it works. So a sex party or a play party is basically when a lot of open minded, you know, free thinking individuals come together for the purposes of I want to say that it's for the purpose of like networking and meeting other people with like similar interests and during these parties people might you know you might meet a new partner you might engage yourself with some partners maybe you just watch um the way that it

looks often varies depending on who you are but in general i want to say it's like a networking event for people with you know same interests sexual interests. Sexual interests. Oh, okay, okay. Because I'm like, when you say network it, are you talking about like... Not business. I mean, but that happens too. Well, that can happen, yeah. Yeah. But the... I guess the main purpose is sexual interests. Okay. Now, do you think

sex parties are still taboo? And if so, why? So, I want to say 50-50 on this. Because I do believe that in this era, people are like more open with their sexuality. I also, what I've also noticed is that people are more interested in sex parties. Like they want to go. They're like, I don't know. I feel like it's much less taboo than it has been in the past but it still is tackled.

I feel like in New York it's very common. Right. And so that's why I'm like, I don't know if this is just because I'm a New Yorker, so it's just like, you know, I don't know. I feel like I get invited to one of these things every week at this point. Right. And I feel like...

Yeah. Right. It's not even people that I know. Like, be random motherfuckers. I'll be like, what is happening? Like, do I have. Really? Yes, girl. I was in a whole nother country and people was asking.

But that's what I'm saying. Like, I was in another country and people were, like, approaching me, asking me. So that's why I think it's less taboo, because it's just like I wasn't doing anything particularly like, I don't know, I wasn't doing anything at all that screamed like, oh, let me invite this person to a play party. Right. Now, are there different types of sex parties? And if so, which ones do you go to? I'm actually not sure if there's different kinds. The different kinds that I know, I call them the safe ones and the unsafe ones.

Okay. I prefer the safe ones. When I say there's safe ones and unsafe ones, I feel like some of them they have where there's like, there's less rules. And by rules, I mean like you don't have to get like checked, like, checked beforehand or there's not, like, condoms available. That's not like Russian roulette, child. Right. So, like, those are called the unsafe ones. But then there's the opposite where, you know, you're getting checked beforehand.

I've seen ones where you have to get background checked. Like, that one was. I heard of those. Yeah. Yeah. That one was, like, they were on it on it um but i also it's it's much more of a pleasurable experience knowing that like all these things are available and that you know that everything everyone went through a process um and that everyone in the room you know is safe because not everyone has those conversations

not everyone's comfortable with asking people their status and things of that nature so I don't know to me it's more comfortable but I guess now that I'm talking about it and thinking about it there's also like impromptu shit um because I like to host events a lot and I've noticed that some of my like regular vanilla events have turned you know a little wild or spicy you host events i do so i don't host i don't host play parties um but i do host game nights i used to do game nights like throughout the city um and then some of my game nights would get a little wild at the end wow you learn something new every day on the Professional Homegirl Podcast. I've been knowing this girl for I don't know how long. Wow. But go ahead, sis. Learn something new every day. I think it's just my personality. I feel like I make people feel like very comfortable.

So I don't know. This should just be happening. But I also feel like with the safe parties it brings out a certain crowd because I feel like when you have less restrictions and rules it brings out a whole different type of crowd that I'm pretty sure a lot of people are kind of like it's true so I've noticed the ones with a lot of rules

and like a lot of things that you need to do beforehand it's often a professional crowd like those are the parties where I'm usually around doctors, lawyers, people from Wall Street like those are how those usually come out and the ones that are kind of like not

just easy breezy let's see what's going to go down those are usually like someone might get into like a big heated argument or somebody may want to pick someone that doesn't happen often. Got time for that, y'all. Right, right.

That part. But it doesn't happen often. But I will say that I've seen that more at one of those parties than one that was, you know, more organized. Now, have you noticed any changes in the sex party scenes since you've been gone? And if so, what are they? Not really. I think, no, not really. It's still no phones.

Like, I haven't been to anywhere phones have been allowed. It's still be respectful. It's still always ask for consent. Yeah, no, I haven't really seen a big difference. But I also haven't been doing these for a really long time. I want to say maybe three, four years. I haven't been like four years. That's a good enough time.

Really? Yeah. Well, it's been the same for the four years that I've been involved. Now, how were you introduced to these parties? Girl. So, my man, my man, my man, my man my man my man bless that man's heart so one day this fine young man um decides to tell me that like yo we're gonna go to a party i'm like like whatever you with the okie dokeke. Right. I'm just, I'm just like, okay. And then the outfit he got us

was like, we had like this matching outfit with a Halloween party. Mm-hmm. So we have this matching outfit. Mind you, I will disclaimer, I have been,

I have been a part of a lot of like group sex type things. So like, a bunch of people in the room have sex at the same time so i've had like an orgy i guess but we didn't switch partners nobody was switching partners it was just i've been in like i've been in rooms with like five couples having sex at one time and you're having sex too okay i've had people like watching how's that so i want i just wanted to pre-note that i've

already had those experiences just so people don't be like, damn, yeah, man, he set you up. Right. And he was aware of this. He was aware that I've been in these type of situations. So anyways, fast forward or whatever. So it's a Halloween party. He's like, yeah, we're going to a party. I'll get to our little sex.

And I'm just like, whatever. It's Halloween. I'm not thinking too much of it. Right. And we drive hours. It was probably like a two-hour drive oh wow right like upstate man not upstate it was yonkers at the time okay yeah it's about two hours so going to yonkers whatever we get to the front door he rings the bell or whatever and he looks

at me and he says i just met these people last week. Like, I don't know. I don't know who's currently at. So that was the first like what is happening. And before I could even say anything, the couple opens the door. And it was funny, too, because the couple opens the door and they have like the same outfit that we have on. So that was funny. So. It's giving swingers.

Girl. So we go in so like party you know i'm like i'm from the city like i've been to a bunch of parties you know parties it's usually a bunch of different people you're gonna see singles you're gonna see couples you're gonna you're gonna see a bunch of different right it's a party it's a party and this man told me that we were going to a party. Right. I walk in. It's nothing but couples. Mm-hmm. So I sit down. I look at him.

I'm like, I'm whispering. I'm like, where are we? And he was like, I think this might be a swig of party. Like, this is like, he's whispering back. He's like, I think we're in a swig of party. I said, what's our rules? He said, what's your rules? I said, no rules. And he was like, I think we're in a swig of party. I said, what's our rules? He said, what's your rules? I said, no rules. And he was like, I ain't bet no rules.

Okay, come on, little meow. Girl. And communication is important. Like, if you ever go to one of these things and you go with your partner, communication is very, very important. Like, you need to figure out those rules. Right. Which we're going to talk about later because i feel like when you do go with your partner it can go good or it go left real quick right have a whole lot of fun or y'all gonna be arguing

on the way back home right you want to have a lot of fun um but yeah so whatever so we playing games or whatever but it's not no freaky shit is happening like it's real regular then at some point of the night the host is like okay this is part two like i'm like part two i'm like what is happening he was like you know the game they're going to get a little more risque like you know if you're not comfortable please let us know um if you would like to leave now like you can leave or you can stay you can just watch you don't like he's like explaining all the rules like you don't have to participate you don't have to participate please check in with your partners um before touching anyone and please ask for their permission etc etc etc right so now i'm like okay like i've never i have never been in like an

environment where like it was so structured um so so then yeah so that's happening we start playing i believe we started playing like true for dare oh we started playing true for dare with like jungle blocks or whatever um so now people are getting lap dances people just doing a bunch of stuff but it wasn't i think that party was like an introductory party because people wasn't really getting into it get into it my little freaky ass um i like i started giving so at one point like a girl had like was sucking on my breasts or whatever that was like one of the tears and then eventually like so now i'm aroused right so this girl done did this to me um so i had went so now i'm like sitting with my with my man or whatever and i just started giving him head um your boyfriend yeah my boyfriend because everyone else was kind of

like doing their own thing you was probably putting me you was probably putting on a show baby girl so that my boyfriend like taps me like to stop because, the host was, like, staring, like, boom, staring at us or whatever. So he's, like, tapping me. And it was his first time, like, period, ever doing anything like this. So, like, I've had these, like, I guess unstructured experiences. But he's never, like, done anything like this. So he was just, like, stop, stop, stop, stop stop stop stop or whatever the case is was he uncomfortable or like nervous

or I guess he just didn't want someone staring at me like he's very protective over me so I guess he was just like fine in the moment but he was like okay like now stop because I'm staring at you but then that night though we didn't like we didn't play with anyone really like we did have interactions

with this one girl like we kissed she on my breasts um I touched on her um but by the time people were like starting to like get into rooms and stuff we like we left um yeah I wasn't feeling it not that we weren't feeling it we just just like okay like we're done right so that's what so that's what I often tell people i'm like you can be like very experienced like you can go to these things all the time and just decide that you don't feel like having sex that day like right like maybe you just wanted to talk to people maybe you just wanted to meet people um because the the last one i went to i was like that i was just like oh i'm not really interested in like partying today like i just wanted to talk mingle and then like we we played a little bit but not in the sense that

we had like intercourse with like actual like penetration right right So how do you decide whether or not to attend one? Are you selective when it comes to certain play parties? Or do you go to them a lot? I wouldn't say a lot. I would say maybe once a month. Sometimes I skip a month. It's really whenever they pop up and I get invited to one. Actually, I got invited to one that's coming up this Friday, but we're not going.

Just because we're not in the best of space. On Good Friday? Ay! Good Friday! Yo, bitches ain't shit I didn't even realize that they planted for good Friday listen don't even get me started the time is going by so fast I didn't even know it was Easter child

girl I was surprised once Passover today who knows whatever all these holidays but um I feel like but today, tomorrow, who knows? Whatever. All these holidays. But what you want to call it? I feel like I typically go because everyone who invites me,

I have strangers who invite me or people who I just met who invite me, but the ones I typically go to, I feel like I've known the people for a little bit. So I'm just comfortable. I'll be like, okay, whatever. And how do they invite you like they tell you and give you a link or like it'd be e-bites okay yeah it'd be right with

e-bites or just be like a text oh hey we're doing this um typically like i'll get like a text beforehand because some people like some people like to, peer the people who are going to be there. Not peer them, but, like, they want, like, one time I went to one, he wanted, like, more, like, professional, like, people in the professional field there. So he had, like, only asked people who, like, were in a certain field. One time, I know, they wanted mostly singles. Like, they wanted mostly singles. Or, like, the first time that I ever went to they did all people who have never like experienced that so it was

their first time experiencing it and then he had a couple of experienced people to kind of like just teach people or talk to them and explain stuff then there's he's very like hands on with it he plans them out he really thinks about stuff he

thinks about people's personality um because he also does sometimes people personalities just clash right so he keeps that in mind as well he also takes like so when i go to play parties i typically only mess with women so he also keeps stuff like that in mind like he has to balance that out because there's at least one woman who's not going to be participating with guys so right like there's a bunch of different stuff now how do you how do you approach safe sex practices such as condom use and regular testing um so I'm paranoid right no cause my friends make fun of me cause like one time I got tested like damn near every other

week and it was just like you know that's pointless right and I was just like I don't care yeah cause that shit not gonna show up child takes a little minute for something to show up that's what people would tell me I'd just be like well I don't care i'll make sure that i'm safe so it's funny so i used i i've grown up i'll stop doing that um but

i'm gonna be honest with girls like i've never used like dental dam or anything like that i was gonna ask you like i mean i've never been with a girl before, but I feel like with girls, like, do girls really use protection? In my opinion, no. Like, I've never, in all my living years, I have never seen girls use protection with each other. And I'm not saying that that's a good thing.

Right. And you're also not saying that all girls don't do this. Some girls do use protection. Right. But I just never i've never seen it right um so and then if so i'm gonna tell you something like now that i'm talking to you i'm gonna say something silly so like i'll i'll have a girl eat me out or whatever no protection or whatever i'll eat her out without protection but then i'll make my boyfriend use a condom to penetrate but the fluids have already swapped like yo bitches are annoying

now you didn't eat some box but you want him to put a condom on you might as well let him hit that shit raw i don't know in my head i'm just like nope you still but he don't be saying like oh you need to put some on your mouth before you eat her out. But what goes on the mouth? Like some plastic? No, dental dam goes on the vagina. And you licking it while something like covering it? Mm-hmm. But is that the same?

Does it feel good? I've never done it. I don't know. I mean, because I feel like the contact is so close. So we might as well just do it face to puss. Girl, I don't know. I just, to me, I've never done it. Maybe I should be doing it.

I need to look into it. This conversation has enlightened me. I mean, we here now. How long you been doing this? We passed that point, sis. Even though we do promote safe sex, yall so yes please learn how to use it that's okay y'all learn how to use that's okay um but we've had um like people that we frequent like we like dated a girl at one point um like we didn't use protection with her like everyone would just get tested and we

would have conversations but she was your girlfriend right but she was your girlfriend yeah um so with that like we i just with that i feel like it was the three of us we knew what we were doing so we wouldn't use protection um and we've also had a unicorn, like, a girl who, like, she was, like, free to do whatever. And she would just keep open communication with us. Like, if she was, you know, seeing someone else at the time or if she started having raw sex with someone, she would just let us know. And we would move from there. So, it's, communication's a really, really big part of this. Yeah.

You just have to be able to talk to people. You know, I did an episode with someone a young lady she is known as the um i want to say as the the godmother of swingers and the conversation yeah the conversation was so amazing it's like deep in the catalog like i think like episode not bit over a hundred, but she also said the same thing about how communication is very important because even though the body is saying one thing, the person can still be saying no or be feeling uncomfortable or, you know, just to make the situation lighter, especially if this is somebody first time doing it or whatever the case may be like communication is like, has been like the number one theme of these conversations when I have conversations about sex so I definitely agree with you on that yeah and and it's frequent

conversations as well because something that was okay last month might not be okay this month yeah um and just a lot of factors get into play like you might be in a different space um something might have happened like so many different things come into play with this and also like yourself like as you're growing as a person. Right. I low-key feel like I'm kind of, like, outgrowing the parties kind of now. Like, I don't get as much enjoyment out of them. Why is that?

I'm not sure. I feel like I'm very much in, like, a settling down phase in my life right now. So, it's, like, I just kind of want to, like, focus on one thing. So it's like, I just kind of want to like focus on one thing, but it's not, I don't want to like stop going. And I'm not, I'm also not saying that just because you're locked in with your partner, that doesn't mean that you can't go see things and these things make you less than, but I think for me right now in this moment of my life,

I just kind of like want to focus on my partner, focus on our goals and kind of figure shit out. But at the same time, we still talk about going to them so it's like it's 50 50 um but i don't know it takes time like it takes time to go to these things um work has to be put into it they're often themed so oftentimes they're the theme so then you gotta go buy a costume or buy an outfit and if you're one of the girlies who don't like to repeat outfits like me like you're constantly buying these outfits so it's a thing like it's just another thing on my plate right so I think

I'm just like I'm like eh don't really want to do this like this weekend I mean yeah that's money right like I'm just like for something that like I don't know you can't I mean I guess you can't recycle lingerie but certain things I'm like nah I mean I don't know if you had a good night in that piece of drawers, baby.

I might not be able to recycle those. Right? Like, all right, you see what I mean. Right. Yeah. After a good night, I just have to throw them away. Hang them up. Like, you served your purpose.

Right. So are drugs and alcohol available at these parties? Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So typically, so, but it depends on the party. Right. So I've seen parties where there's limits. Like, so if someone feels like you've been drinking too much or taking too many drugs,

you have to sit out or they'll like call you over home or something. Oh, wow. I have seen that. Yeah. Okay. I love that. any drugs you have to sit out or they'll like call you over home or something oh wow i have seen that yeah okay just because they don't want i love it yeah the ones where there's lots and lots and lots of rules like some people be like oh isn't it less fun no the fuck it's not i feel so safe so i'm having more fun because i'm so comfortable like i'm like yo shit go less stuff they have my back like i know someone know someone's going to have my back. Right. You know what's so funny?

I wonder if the host is really enjoying themselves because they have to be, they have to pretty much monitor the party and make sure that everybody is having a good time, but also everybody is safe and everything is consensual. Mm-hmm. I've seen hosts that I feel like they look stressed.

Not that they look stressed, but I can see that they're busy. That's a big responsibility. They're checking in on people every two seconds. They're making sure people have like enough, like, I don't know, boob or toys or whatever. Like if things are being given out, like they're constantly checking in on people. I've also seen hosts, I guess maybe it's the more seasoned hosts. Right. That I've seen, like, they're kind of more balanced.

Like, they're able to play and kind of still watch the room. They'll tap into other people to also watch the room. So there'll be, like, several people that you can go to. Mm-hmm. Those are a little bit, yeah, those are the comfy ones, too, when there's multiple, kind of like multiple hosts. Because you don't just have to go to this one person and you feel like you're bothering someone. Yo, imagine you fucking a host and you about to bust a nut and the nigga stop because he sees some

shit that's about to pop up. You'd be like, what the fuck? Could you imagine? I've never seen that, but I would be so upset if I was... Like you almost at the peak, like... And the nigga be like, hold up, hold up, hold up. I see some

non-consexuals out there. Oh my God. So wait, are the people there attractive? So... 50-50, sis. So I've been to ones where I wasn't attracted to not a damn soul.

I've also... So this, I feel. I've also, so this I feel like I've seen is a fucking trend. No shade to nobody. All shade, all tea. No. But I've noticed sometimes I'm the youngest person in the room and there's a lot of

older people and just to me they're not that attractive don't be an ageist now I mean but what do you what do you mean by older like

I don't so like cause you in your 30s yeah I'm in my 30s I wanna say like they be like 50s

yeah they be like 50s or late 40s yeah or mid 40s yeah or mid 40s but remember I started going to these in my mid 20s right mid 20s going or being around people

that's in their mid 40s I'm like oh y'all old and they not attractive some of them so I like I know I'm attracted to like one host one host's wife like she's a little batty but then everybody else I'm, like, I know I'm attracted to, like, one host's wife. Like, she's a little baddie. But then everybody else, I'd be like, yeah, like, I'm not interested.

How do they come, like, because I feel like if I was going to one of these parties, like, I'm going to come on point. Like, I got to be the baddest bitch in the room when I step in. Like, do they put effort into themselves? Or it just be like a... No, do they put effort into themselves? Or it just be like... They definitely... No, they definitely put effort into themselves. I've never seen, like, someone who dressed off blocky.

Like, everyone... Yeah. Like, people be having, like, their makeup on. Okay. Some people be, like... People be barefaced, too. So I've been to, like,

extravagant, like, play parties where people, like, are done to the T. And I've also seen, like, people who, like, you know, barefaced or whatever, comfortable, but they still look, like, very presentable. extravagant like play parties where people like are done to the T and I've also seen like people who like you know bare face or whatever comfortable but they still look like very presentable right yeah but I don't know I just don't get attracted um all the time but then I have been to parties

where it's like nothing but like just beautiful people like all around um but i want to say more often than not i i find myself in parties where people aren't that attractive i know you be tight i do be tight i'll be looking at my man i'll be like while we here so you won't mess with any men only women only women yeah but why not men um i'm just i'm very much like my man is my man right so and that's like the only penis i want um have i thought about it yes but i've never i don't know it's just it just doesn't do it for me like i i don't i can't imagine double penetration so i can't imagine double penetration. So I can't imagine like a threesome with another guy. I also, and then I just can't imagine like being with a guy outside of my partner. And then I'm just like wildly attracted to women, but I'm not in a relationship with a woman.

So like, let's say my partner was a woman. I probably wouldn't be dealing with a woman. I probably would deal with a man at the parties. Oh, I get it. I get it. I guess I just don't double dip on the scene. Right. Okay. I understand. So what kind of conversations do you typically have with other

participants before engaging in sexual activity? Do you do small talk with the bitch or like... Yeah. It depends. Or y'all just get things popping you know she open a leg up right so so funny enough i feel like i typically have conversations with people i'm not going to play with like but i might still find them attractive but like i don't know i just just sometimes conversations very stimulating for me right so you know you deep child I am a little deep

we had like a whole conversation on like crystals and like all this other stuff talking about like voodoo and Haiti remember when we first met we was on the phone for like I think two hours talking about some of the deepest shit.

We was talking about selling souls and shit. We sure were. I'm really, because that stimulates me. Right. It's sweet. So, so then I could do that.

But then like, I remember like the last party y'all went to, like, I just walked up to her. I was like, can I kiss you? And she was like,

yes. And then I kissed her and then we just, we just started started but we had no conversation like you was attracted to her like you liked her yeah I liked her I liked her like she was like Amazonian like she was mad tall like was she pretty yeah she was decent I'm not she wasn't like but don't be trying to flex on the show now come on now no I'm not I'm really not I'm really not I'm not gonna, she wasn't like, but it was the- Don't be trying to flex on the show now. Come on now. No, I'm not trying. I'm really not. I'm really not. I'm really not. But so I tell people this all the time.

I'm less attracted to like physical appearance and more attracted to like confidence. So like when you walk into the room- She own it. Her presence. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God, that turned me on so good. Clearly. You need a napkin, sis?

Sorry. I was thinking about it. I can tell. Y'all should get a little fluster. But she was winning. You ended up kissing her. We ended up kissing. She ended up giving me a lap dance. Okay.

We started calling each other's breasts. She, like, played with my vagina pussy, whatever. She ended up, like, eating me out. It was, like, it was a time. But we didn't really talk. Like, there was... I didn't get her number at the end. Like, we might never see each other ever again.

I was just about to ask you that. Like, do you keep in contact with the people that you meet? Or is it just a one-time, thank you, ma'am, and we good? For me, personally, half the time I don't keep in contact with these people. I only, the people that I typically keep in contact are, like, hosts. Okay. Well, obviously, yeah. Right.

But, like, I'm typically, like, friends with the hosts in some type of capacity. Right. Like, we can kiki and be on the phone. Right. But like, I'm typically like friends with the host in some type of capacity. Right. Like we can kiki and be on the phone. Right. I've never, I've never made a friend with anyone. But I've seen people do it. Like people make friends. Are you open to that or nah? I am. I'm just not a very social person.

You think I'm social? I'm really not. You're social with me? Well, I like you. Well, I like you. Well, I like you. So what kind of impact, if any, has attending sex parties had on your sexual preferences or desires? See, I don't really like this question. I'm going to tell you why. Because I feel like my preferences is what makes me go to the parties, not the other way around.

Like, I feel like I've always been into kink like I've always been into like BDSM stuff like bondage um I'm very submissive so I've always been into that and I think because I've always been into that I like I look for things that relate to those right and like and parties came with that so I've never went to a party and was like, oh, like, now I'm suddenly interested in this thing. Like, no, I've always been interested. And now I'm at a party learning more about it. You know what I'm saying? Right.

Yeah. But I wonder. Maybe. Apparently, I turned a girl out. I wanted them. She told you that? Yeah. She was like, I've never been with a girl before.

Like, this is my first time and then her best friend like confirmed it because her best friend was also there and she was like yeah I've never seen her what'd you do? I didn't do shit I promise you I didn't do shit that was one of the girls I was just talking to

like I was just talking to her and then she started like like, she started kissing. She did not ask. She did not ask. I mean, you didn't stop, though. I didn't stop. But she had me a little uncomfortable. She was aggressive.

I'm like, miss. She probably was nervous. Maybe, maybe. But, like, I could also tell that she hadn't been with a girl before. Because even, like. Right. She, like, bit my vagina. She bit it

she did girl you should have punched her I was like it's okay oh my god I mean she lying I'm sorry anybody that's been with I feel like if you if this is your first time being with a girl

I'm not eating boxing the first time okay that's you she lying she being with a girl like i'm not eating boxing the first time okay that's you she lying she been with a girl before i don't think so because any girl would have told her please don't ever bite like i mean actually let me not say that because people have different preferences maybe there are people true like the deep bit but the first time she was ready to go down? Yes. Yes. Oh my God. But you know. I didn't even have a party. Like this was random.

You know what I wanted to ask you? Where are the parties at? Like is it at people's houses or clubs? Okay. People. I believe. I've never been to them, but I believe there's clubs in New York. Yes.

I also know there's like houses dedicated to it in New York. Like, I've heard of them and people have invited me. I just haven't gone yet. But, and then some people have it in their houses or in their apartment. And some people rent out spaces. I like it when people rent out spaces because it's pretty. Like, people, like, do it up. Right.

Those be the fancy ones when people rent out spaces. I do want to go to a club. I just want to go and just see it because I feel like I, you know, just from doing research and like talking to so many people and having so many different type of friends in my life. Like I heard the clubs be like popping. And not even on like some.

I heard the same. And not even on some sex shit. Like it just be a vibe there. Like it's really like a legit party. no i've heard the same i just they they be costing bread od maybe costing bread that's that's what i don't be going and if i'm paying that much money i better bust a nut yeah and some of them you need like memberships i'm like that is i heard that too facts yeah facts you need like a membership so do you have any type of boundaries i know you said earlier that you don't but you so you don't have That is, I heard that too Facts Yeah Facts You need like a membership So do you have any type of boundaries? I know you said earlier that you don't

But so you don't have no boundaries When you go into these clubs Or parties, should I say For my partner, you're saying Like rules? No, for you Like, do you have boundaries for yourself? Or like

No, what do you mean by a boundary? Like, do you have any like Like, are you pretty much open to anything? Or do you have like certain things That you wouldn't do? Um Like, I know you any, like, are you pretty much open to anything? Or do you have, like, certain things that you wouldn't do? Like, I know you're not really interested in men. So, yeah. So, that's one.

Like, I don't mess, I won't mess with a man unless I'm single or unless I'm dating a woman at the time. But not really. It's really just the mood that I'm in for that night. Right. Because, like I said, I've gone and sometimes I don't participate in much and then I've gone and we participate in a lot. So it really depends on my mood.

Yeah. And what was the best night that you had at a party? The best night? I was with my partner and we went and we met this girl. She's really pretty. She had a fat ass. I like ass. I like titties too.

You like body. I like body. I do. I'm very visual. You're a body girl. So like body. Yaddy yaddy. So this girl, her ass was fucking round and fat

and she had like nice titties and nice nipples and I almost said your name child I was about to be like

wow I'm not a feminist but like wow you sound like our friend I believe you straight up nigga I believe you Like, wow, you sound like our friend. I believe you. Straight up nigga. I believe you.

Go ahead. It's funny because people don't believe in me. They be like, you're not bi. I'm like, I might like women more than I like men. No, I definitely think you like women more than men. I think I do too. I think when it comes to family, it's all about your partner being a man. But when it comes to like that intimacy and like the overall feeling and stuff and the attraction, it'd be women for you.

Yeah, I do. Like, you know, when I'm out in the street, I rarely ever check out men. I'm always checking out women. But I feel like women are pretty to look at though yeah i mean but i feel like straight women or like there's also some bisexual women i feel like sometimes like they they be looking at men like i've heard like my homegirls like oh look at him he's so fine look how he dressed and i just i'm like all right yeah all right look at her i ain't seen a fine nigga yet really i haven't seen a fine nigga yet. Really? I haven't seen a fine nigga in so long. Oh, maybe men are slacking out here.

Yeah. I mean, I've been seeing a lot of pretty women. I'm like, oh, that's a beautiful woman. Oh, she's mad pretty. But I have not seen a nigga where I'd be like, oh my God, that nigga is fine. Like, ooh. Man, that's unfortunate. Yeah.

You seen any fine men out here? I haven't seen one in a while. At the last party I went to, I seen a fine one. He was fine. I was staring at him. He came with the Amazonian goddess. It was both of them.

I was like, damn, that look like God. Nice Zeus. Oh my God. Oh, okay. So the best night. So you saw Shorty. Oh, okay. So the best night. So you saw Shorty. Saw Shorty.

She was interacting with my man at first or whatever. They was talking and they had started kissing or whatever. That's how a real nigga pulled up. Yeah. He was like, step aside, nigga. So I come over all cutesy or whatever because I'm also I'm not I wouldn't consider myself sexy I'm very like cute like and goofy so I feel like that's another thing why people be comfortable around me because I'm just a goofball so um I go around like oh like can I have some too or whatever I said something corny.

And then she was like, of course. And then she did the, she did like the face palm. Like, you know, like they grab you by the side of the face and they pull you and they. She did it. She did it. Your panties were wet. She did it to me. So we started kissing or whatever. And so we had like some toys with us and.

Like, it was just a night. Like it was just, I don't know. The energy was real good. Like, and she was just beautiful. So that was my best night. Now, have you had any negative experiences? And if so, how did you handle it? Um, the most negative experience was I was at a party with my partner and my partner like me and him were not in a good space so like um i kept looking at him and i was just like disgusted

as your partner my partner i was looking at him i was disgusted so i didn't really have fun that night and so i suggest like if you're in a bad space with your person, y'all should not go. Right. Y'all should not go. Because that shit, you're going to think, like, you can handle it and it's going to be fine. But, like, and granted, we've been to these things already. So it's not like, oh, I was uncomfortable with something happening. It was just because we were in a bad space.

I was like, like, I wanted to fight the nigga. I'm like, you fucking piece of shit. Yeah. So that was, like, I wanted to fight the nigga. I'm like, you fucking piece of shit. that was like, my worst night. But then, there was another one. I guess it was just a funny night.

Like, we was having a threesome with a girl and he just couldn't get hard for her. But she was beautiful. Like, the girl was beautiful.

Like, and she didn't smell bad or nothing. She was beautiful. But like, she didn't smell bad. Like, was beautiful but like she didn't smell bad like no cause you know

like sometimes you could be beautiful as fuck but if you smell a little funky I mean yeah when that twat it's twatting right like

having an off day yeah but um he yeah he couldn't get hard like with her specifically like

cause when he would like switch back over to me like he would get aroused again and then like he would try to like mess with her and like um specifically with like penetration like he just could not save her for her so that was like i was like i'm like what's happening here like right does he enjoy these parties i don't know i don't know anymore yeah because i feel like y'all go to these a lot, or y'all been going to these for a certain amount of years, and

especially with that situation, like, you got two fine bitches in front of you. But that might be a lot, though. I definitely, especially if you're not used to it, because he called me the quote-unquote horny one. Like, he's like, yo, you always want to do some shit. You always, like, doing all

these sexual things. It might be intimidating. It might be, but he's never expressed that. Like, he's like oh you always want to do some shit you always like doing all these sexual things it might be intimidating things it might be but he's never expressed that like he's never he's never said those words like oh this is intimidating or i'm not comfortable he'll say stuff like oh like i don't need to go to these things like i do it like for you because i know you enjoy them um but yeah because yeah he definitely he's never like I was his first threesome like he's never had a threesome before so you turning bitches in niggas out baby

it's so interesting though cause that's something I would say people to all I don't want a th three sons I'd love to have two bitches and oh I could this and that but like when you really put the pressure on these niggas like if you really put them in the situation

they will not be performing at all I'm like oh you was asking for this right that thing be real limp okay they can't or they panic or they just don't know what to do.

They don't know. So do you think he's going to stop going with you soon? I don't know because I think he's more into it now. Why do you say that?

I don't know because he's not asking me. Before, it would be me asking him. Like, it would be like, oh, like, you, like, has anyone come up? Like, has anyone hit you up? Now he's the one asking me, like, has anyone hit you up? Or are you interested in going?

So I feel like he's getting more and more. And the last one we went to, he was, like, on his own. Like, he wasn't, like, I feel like before, he would, like, stay kind of, like, near my head. Like, he always wanted to be next to me. And now he's just, like, exploring. So okay does that bother you no i i just felt like don't leave me completely alone like right unless we like unless we have like a conversation like me if you dip off into a room to like have sex with someone that's fine but like at one time he like dipped off to like have a conversation with someone and

left me alone i'm just like really guy like right like what's wrong with you um but that's just more so like i'm very much like i like being protected like i like so it's just like oh you wouldn't protect it like you wouldn't make sure you wouldn't make it what if i got kidnapped like i'm not nobody kidnapped me child i'm not dramatic i'm bad dramatic i'm like someone could have put me in a trunk and you would not have known because you were not in the room or you would i wasn't in distance of eyesight that's something i would say i'm mad dramatic so wait so do y'all have any um rules as a couple or it's pretty much like he can just do what he want he could do whatever he wants i. I'm a watch, like, I like to watch.

I love to watch. So I actually prefer when he doesn't like this. This I will say he doesn't like. Because he always wants me involved. He's like, come here. He'll be like, come here, come here. I'm just like, no, I just want to watch.

Okay, one day a day. Yeah, like, I want to see my person in action. And I also like seeing my person in action um and I also like seeing my person being pleased um so what do you ask me

you ask me if there are rules yeah are there any rules you look you got me yeah she reminiscing child

but um rules yeah so I don't mess with men he also wouldn't want me messing with a man right which we'll call it you okay with him kissing a bitch yeah okay because you know some people don't like their man kissing another woman because that's very intimate no i don't mind like he's giving girls head in front of me. He's kissed girls. I guess for me, the really only thing is you got to use a condom for penetration.

Does he like to use condoms for penetration with other people? I don't know. Because, like, I feel like he has more fun when we're dating someone. Like, when we have our own person. Because he can fuck them raw. Like, those girls he can fuck raw. Right. I feel like he prefers that.

But, yeah. I don't know I just I don't like the idea of you fucking somebody raw that you met tonight and you need to speak to them again I don't like that just me personally now you know you sound like a little hypocrite now I know I know you be

yeah I know. I know. Because you be you be twitch. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Ebony's going to find her a professional to talk to here and talk to y'all. Y'all crying. I'm not a pro. Obviously, I am not a pro.

Nobody's going to talk to y'all about safe sex is coming soon, okay? Oh my God, y'all. This bitch got the fucking nerve, y'all. If you crying for me. Oh, man, I'm crying. Oh, man. Oh, my God.

Yeah. All right, man. Come on now. Get it together. All right. Now, do you think that attending these sex parties with your partner affected your relationship in any way? When we were going to them, like, frequently, I feel like it made it better. Oh, wow.

I feel like it made it so much better because I feel like our communication wasn't always so great and it forced us to be better communicators. And we were also learning like more about like sex. Right. Together. It's good. Yeah. And I don't think I don't know about everybody. But for me, I don't I wasn't really having those conversations. Like when I get into a relationship, I'm not really asking. Like, I mean, I guess I'll ask little stuff, like, does this feel good?

But I'm never, like, hey, like, what area of your body do you like to touch? Or, like, even, like, paying attention to, because a lot of it is, like, this sensual play where, like, you're really exploring people's bodies, like. And I'm also, like, learning from, oh oh i guess i kind of released to your question from earlier but i'm also learning like i'm learning from other women like things that i take away from the parties right because like i don't know like i never like i'll like i'm goofy so like i've given lap dances as a joke like let me randomly give you a lap dance while you're watching the game. But, like, these girls, like,

I used to, I don't know, love watching them. Love watching them. They look like strippers. Like, they look like professional fucking dancers sometimes. Like, the way that they was giving me lap dances and being so sensual. So, I think that's something I learned from them. Like, oh, like, that's not just something I could do

when I'm being goofy and joking around. I know. That's something I can use like a partner. Everyday life, yeah. Yeah, like, I never even thought of it. Listen, I know how to tap into my sensual side now if I want something. But I think that also just plays into with your charisma or just being witty or just being a woman. Like, just tapping into your womanly side and, like, you do what you gotta do to get what you want i started picking up so many different tips like touching someone with

like just the very tip of your nail and just going up and like that's not something like i used to do that with my finger but like with the very edge of the tip of your nail right wonder if apparently like would i had never do that i feel like if I'm, like, in a relationship and I'm like, that's my nigga, like, I feel like I try my best to, like, ask questions. Like, what do you like? Like, what turns you on? Like, what can I do to make you more happier when it comes to, you know, anything? Oh, maybe I'm selfish. Because I would have been doing that before attending these parties.

Now I do. Like, now when I meet people. Before? No, I'm just going to get what you get. that before attending these parties now i do like now when i meet people before no i'm sure you gonna get what you get because i also feel like i'm very i'm very confident in my sex game like i've never gotten any complaints so i'm just like why am i asking you what feels good when everything i've done already right i think i you know what's so funny you make a good point because i'm the same way but i feel like as i started to get older and started to understand the value in communication, that's when I started to do it

because I didn't always do it because I always felt like I'm the gift nigga. You don't get no better than this. Right. Right. But I feel like when you get older and you start to explore things and you become more,

not sexually active, but more, what's the word when you're really into exploring your sexuality? I feel like that's when I started to be like, what's the word when you're like really into like exploring your sexuality? I feel like that's when I started to be like, oh, so what do you like? Or like, what's your fantasy and stuff like that?

Maybe it's something that comes with age. I think so. Because as you get older, your body gets older, you start to want to do more things or you're more exposed to different things or, you know, you be with different people

and they like different things so they introduce you to some things and get that thing banging get that thing banging yeah so yeah i feel like something with the parties they're showing both of us because like if he's not that experienced because also girl like i'm learning so much like men be thinking they're so experienced until they realize that they're not so experienced like just because you've had sex with multiple people does not mean that you're experienced. It's the act of actually trying new things and being comfortable within your skin.

And also knowing what that person like. Yes. Because everybody's body is different. Yes, and trust for sure. Because if I fucks with you and not trust you, we can do whatever. Because sex is supposed to be fun. But I feel like when you don't have that communication, that trust, we can do whatever. Like, because sex is supposed to be fun. Like, so,

but I feel like when you don't have that communication and that trust, that's a dub. Uh-huh. Like, when I trust you, I don't know. We might have to,

we might have to get a little test, a little pregnancy test because I'm having a good time. I'm having a good time. But that's how it's supposed to be.

It's supposed to be fun. Like, but it definitely involves trust and communication for sure. I'm having a good time. But that's how it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be fun. But it definitely involves trust and communication for sure. Mm-hmm. The two biggest things. Two biggest, biggest things. You have to trust that your partner has your back. Yeah. And that they have your best intentions at heart.

And you guys need to communicate what's okay and what's not okay. Right. So how can someone find out about sex parties and what's the process for attending one? So, man. So when I first, first started, like that, that very first one that we went to,

like we didn't even know, right? Right. But now there's like all these different apps. So. I feel like it's so easy to find, right? It's, it's much easier to find now right um i'm actually trying to find the name of one i can't remember the we ain't doing a free promo are we not doing free promo well there's apps y'all find the apps um also regular dating apps just put it in your profile people will hit you up like if you just put it in your bio um so yeah you could do it that way and then when you actually

go to one you're going to meet people so again networking just putting yourself out there you're going to find out and then just being able to have like open honest communication with people when you're out because like said I was in a whole other country and the things that transpired, but we would also have open, candid communication and conversation. Conversation rules the nation. Yes.

What is your advice for maintaining privacy and discretion when attending sex parties? I know we, for a long time, we used fake names, but we stopped doing that. Because I'm going to tell you why. At these things, everyone's kind of on the same page. Nobody wants their business all out there. A lot of us have like careers, like career careers.

Right. So like, again again like phones do not be allowed like you can't take any pictures you can't take videos um a lot of it is what happens here stays here so people aren't saying like oh i've seen vanessa and george at a party like right don't do that um like if you do have conversations about that you're not mentioning names you're not really mentioning the exact location and things of that nature can you get banned if that was to happen yeah you can like so someone like let's say you took a picture without someone's permission it like shows up you will not be allowed right you will not be yeah you're not

invited to another party but i've never, in the four years, I've never seen that happen. Like, it's never gone out of hand where someone's trying to pull something or it's all people's business. And what is your advice that you would give to someone who's curious about attending their first sex party? Because when I put this up on my page on Instagram,

when I tell you, the DMs were crazy. Everybody was super excited about this conversation. Really? I said, it's getting a PSG after dark, child. Be careful. You know, if you're at the age of 18,

be careful out here. Definitely have a conversation with yourself right like really think about like what am i going to be comfortable with what am i not going to be comfortable with definitely have open and candid communication with the host let them know what you're comfortable with and not comfortable with because they'll punch you in areas where you're where you're going to feel the most comfortable and they'll introduce you to people who's going to make sure that you feel comfortable so let's say the first time that you attend you just want to watch just make that

known in the beginning of the night or tell the host beforehand they'll make sure that that's all that happens and if they see you participating in something they're going to check on you they're going to say hey i know you had said you just wanted to watch are you comfortable right now and then you know you can speak to them you can also have like a code, like a little code word beforehand that's made just in case. Like, because some people also, they're not, what's the word? They're easily influenced sometimes. Like they have a hard time saying no. So those code words are helpful for that.

Or they don't want to be the person that's saying no. Exactly. So it's helpful to like check the whole your your host the host is your best friend the host is going to make sure that you're good um so i definitely recommend that you get close with your host um during your first party and then you know go there with open intention have fun i also don't suggest that you do a bunch of drugs and get drunk i I don't suggest that. I think that you're your best when you're sober.

Right. Especially when it's your first time. You know, if you want to drink a little wine and get like a little tips, that's fine. Just the relaxation nerves. Yeah. Like if you want to get the buzz, that's fine. But I don't suggest you get drunk or incoherent because I don't want anyone doing something and they wake up the next morning and they regret what happened.

Right. Or they feel that they was taken advantage of. So you to you know you want to be clear um clear-minded and then some of these parties you know people do do a lot of drugs and people's not really monitoring it it's great when they are but sometimes they don't what type of drugs are you doing um it's a lot of weed molly i I've seen coke. I've seen Molly. I've seen someone taking perks before. A nigga not coming off no perks now. Right.

He fucking not stop. Right. And then I've seen people drinking a lot. Not that I know. Not that you know girl right go ahead no that's it

that was it I really don't know y'all let me stop playing with y'all nah I was like give these women a fair warning and these men give them a fair warning

yeah listen that's the whole purpose of these conversations because you don't want to go into a situation blindly thinking you're about to have a good time and you're just like, what the fuck is going on? Because people do do a lot of drugs at these,

well, not at all these parties, but people like to have a good time. Yeah. And honestly, I haven't been to many parties where people are getting like, like OD high. Right.

It's been a few. I have seen it, but not most of them. Most of the time people are just smoking weed and cigars. Right. Having a good time. Like, yeah,

yeah. Well, I think this was an amazing conversation. It was definitely fun. Yes. To my guests. Thank you so much for being a part of the professional homegirl podcast. And to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, or you want to say,

hey, girl, hey, please make sure to email me at hello at thepsgpodcast.com. And until next time, everyone, later. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show. And you can connect with me on social media

at the PHG Podcast.