The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: A.J. Johnson & Tressa Smallwood Talk 'Fighting To Be Me', College Hazing, Polygamy + More

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

The Breakfast Club Sits Down With A.J. Johnson & Tressa Smallwood To Discuss 'Fighting To Be Me', College Hazing, Polygamy. Listen For More!YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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wherever you get your podcasts. Wake that ass up. Early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning everybody, it's DJ NV Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the guy. We are The Breakfast Club. Lauren LaRosa here for Jess and we got some special guests joining us this morning. We have AJ Johnson, she's back.

Good morning. Good morning. And we have T. She's back. Good morning. Good morning. And we have Tressa Smallwood. Welcome. Good morning, everyone. How are you feeling this morning, ladies? Fantastic. Listen, I'm in New York. It's cold as I'm going to walk, but I'm here.

It ain't that bad. If it had came a week ago, it would have been like 30, 20 degrees. Well, you know, when you're bouncing between LA and Africa, anything under 70 is like, I'm going outside. OK. Last time I saw you was in Ghana. Yes.

But you live in there now? Well, I was back and forth then. You just didn't know it because it was December and everybody was hanging out. But I've been back and forth living and working since 2019. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

I got the email early. You got the email early? Listen, I was lying. It was everything happening politically, or you just really wanted to just go and be you know back in Africa I would be honest it was it was I loved the life that I was developing there But with the pandemic I saw Governmentally and politically what didn't feel right to me not that I knew what was happening

But just you know in terms of the and honestly when Africa opened up late 2020 I got there around November 2020. So if you remember, we had been told, oh, it's gonna be two weeks. Oh, it's gonna be six months. In February, that's right, yeah. Right, when it first started, 2020. And then of course, you cough on Monday,

you die by Friday. So I was like, so, right? So when I got to Africa, and I'm watching CNN from there, me and my African friends are like, well, why is everybody dying? You know, we had masks on just to respect it, but it was like, you know, you take a pill and everything's fine.

So I was like, you know what, something's not right, and let me start making moves now. So I started investigating like citizenship and just what it would take to do business there and to live there, and so I'm bouncing back and forth. So you're a dual citizen? Oh yeah. I love it. Oh yeah.

You've been helping people get dual citizenship too, I saw. Yeah, I mean, you know, when it says help, just to clarify, because people are flooding my DM, you know, who do I need to write, what do I need to do? Who do I need to talk to? Listen, can I pay you to get my passport? So I said, what that means is really, I'm taking groups over with retreats.

I got a retreat in July and a retreat in December. Been doing that for five years. Just to show you the country, just to introduce it to you intimately, get you off a tour bus and out of a group of 100, and just really have you meet people, really have real estate conversations, learn what it's like to be employed when you're there.

The rules are different, the country's different. And so we can't keep going as Americans expecting Africa to be America or to be run like that. So I try to educate and share from my life so that when it's time and you're really saying I wanna make a move, I wanna be a citizen, you know what it really takes. What got you to Ghana?

When did you first go to Ghana and was like, I like this, this is where I wanna live. I told you this, John Wade. I actually went for a birthday turn up. I was going through a breakup and I was like, I need new, I need new fragrances new freight I need new new men new food new clothes new music and so I went in 2019 and I went with was missing John and uh and Boris and Nicole Cujo and they took a group of celebrities at the time it was called

full circle festival and so I was part of that and That seven days changed my life mentally, spiritually, nutritionally, health-wise. I mean I saw a difference in my hair and skin and weight management, no lie, like in four days just because the food was different. You know, no chemicals, no hormones and we don't know what that's like unless you spend time over there. And so I was like, oh, I'm so down

with what I'm seeing and feeling. And so I just started saying, I'm gonna sell some of my Air Maze bags. I'm gonna stop buying some of the Red Bottoms and finance some flights over there. And the more I went, the more I learned about, of course, us as a culture that we don't know. And the more I started embracing the African that I am.

When you think about your overall, we gonna talk about what y'all here for, which is fighting to be here. We got a lot of catching up to do. When you think about your overall mental wellness, how does living in Ghana affect that? As opposed to living into the United States of anxiety? I mean, first of all, you know,

to get off the plane and see everybody black, I'm not saying that there's not issues within us as people, but there's sure not racial issues. I don't experience, personally, I don't experience any colorism. I'm still talking to a lot of women who are dealing with light skin, brown skin. Over there, it's the black of the berry

because our skin is so beautiful. And so that part, the safety of it, I'm not running from the cops. If I see sirens behind my car, I don't get nervous. And even just the love, the love and acceptance is different. The conversations are different. We're talking about being African and what that means

and how do we get our resources back in our pockets as opposed to the madness going on here. So I'm just more comfortable. being African and what that means, and how do we get our resources back in our pockets as opposed to the madness going on here. So I'm just more comfortable. I love it. And we're creators. We're creative creators naturally. So I have more experience with more collaboration,

spirits, as opposed to I got mine, you get yours, which I think is a lot of what happens here. And so I really love the collaborative energy I'm experiencing there. How is celebrity different being in Africa versus being over here in the States? I think, well, I'm gonna answer it a couple of ways. One of the reasons I'm back and forth is because I feel and see my value there as an American celebrity. And I don't mind that.

You know, I know that they value my work and my resume, and so we're using that as well, teaching master classes and things like that. But at the same time, I think the African celebrity also wants some of the American celebrity. So now, after five years, I've got friends in the business there, and we're trying to, we're looking for scripts.

That's one of the reasons why Tressa and I connected. We're looking for international scripts so that we can join forces and bridge and do more projects. So I think there's benefits to the celebrity on both continents. But again, it's like, you know, what happens if we come together? That's the point, right?

And I know that you guys are here to talk about fighting to meet the Dwayne Curry story. You mentioned Tressa. And Tressa, I know you're new to the platform. Wanna introduce yourself in Megamind Media, what you do? Yes, absolutely. So I'm Tressa Azarale Smallwood. I'm CEO of Megamind Media,

an independent movie production company that's making our own way in the industry. So where DEI gets cut, we don't get cut. There you go, there you go. And I wanna make sure y'all know how important that is, which is why I'm paddling around with my sis because nowadays the studios are governing what we're doing and they're not really that interested in our stories.

And so this Fighting to be Me is my second project with Megamind and Tressa. I did a Christmas movie, which I hadn't done. I'm trying to check the boxes of things I hadn't done. And so I did Holiday Heartbreak with Tressa, and I was like, yo, family run. I was like, this is good. It feels good. You know, the project's good.

I'm getting paid on time. I'm like, I love this. I love this. Who is Dwayne Curry, for the people who aren't familiar? Dwayne Curry. Yeah, you have a close relationship with Dwayne. Well, Dwayne is a very well renowned and respected Hollywood stylist from the 90s. And honestly, not only is he known for styling celebrities like Lisa Ray and Yo-Yo and Missy

Elliott, he was one of my first stylists right after House Party when I hit. But in the 90s, being gay and being in that world wasn't necessarily as accepted as it is now. And so Dwyane looking for love and acceptance turned to a life of crime. And so yeah, and so in all of that celebrity and and and Alkalede, he became a convicted felon for credit card fraud. And so now she in, in the trans community, is now an advocate, has done time,

and is trying to teach the more visible community in the LGBTQ+, you know, how to survive and thrive actually without it being criminal. Break down some of the people that Dwayne stalled for, because Dwayne stalled for a lot of people. Yeah, and I mean, I'm just naming a few. I said Lisa Ray, Missy Elliott, Gabrielle Union, me. I said DMX.

DMX on there. I mean, and I'm telling you, in the 90s, it was like when Dwyane, I mean, it's depicted in the movie. When Dwyane would walk in a restaurant, a club, it was like, you know, the celebrity, the for real celebrity had arrived. Because, you know, we look at styling now as just who puts your hair and clothes together.

But Dwyane was creating the images. Dwyane was actually creating the celebrities in the 90s based on knowing your image is how you walk in the room, what you look like. And so in the 90s, a lot of us as black talent in the culture, we didn't know that. Like in the movie, it depicts you saw where Yo-Yo, Yo-Yo was like, you know,

I'm a rapper with braids and a bandana. And Dwyane was like, oh, no, no, no, you got to be, you got to be a sexy rapper and changed her whole career trajectory. So it's just- And they respect her a lot, even now to today. You know, they reach out to her like, hey, we don't want to let what's happening now and how people are kind of turning their backs on a lot of people in the community. And they're like, you know, you did this for us, you changed us, and they're stepping up for. Oh yeah, there's a lot of times I don't get dressed without saying, okay, this shoe or this shoe.

And I'll send her pictures, and she'll be like, neither one, do that one. And I was like, okay, okay. So, um. Why was this story so important to, out of all the stories that you could have picked or chose, why was this story so important to both of you guys?

I think for me personally, you know, it's a responsibility of mine to tell the diverse stories that other people won't tell. You know, we know that in Hollywood, it's really challenging to get a project greenlit. And so because I have the capability of deciding, you know, what I'm gonna shoot and I have distribution, I say, you know, how can I change somebody's life?

What's the story? And even with Dwayne Curry, I had a lot of people say to me, hey, why would you pick this in particular when you know that it's a touchy subject in this day and age? And I said, that's exactly why I'm tackling it, because nobody else is gonna do it.

And even when you think about the role that AJ plays in the movie as Dwyane's mother who said, hey, I knew you were gay. I'm not gonna say I agree with this, but you're my son, I love you. People need to hear that now, right? People are going through it and you need to know that there are people that are gonna believe in you,

that they're gonna speak up for you despite what everybody else is saying out here right now. She's trans, right? Trans. Yes, trans, right? Trans. Yes, trans. And to be clear, a lot of people are trying to figure out fully trans in terms of having the sexual assignment, no. But she is trans, but not without the assignment.

I wonder how do networks feel about that now? Because when you see President Trump sign an executive order basically saying that there's only two genders right now Do even do networks even want to touch they don't they do not and so this was a project that we shot last year and we shot it in April in Washington DC and Even then people were like what is this shot? Oh shooting you know what's going on? You know, but again, you gotta be courageous enough to tell the story, but know why you're telling it.

And God is a God of love. I don't care what any of us believe. You know, we wanted to show that this is unconditional love. And if when you watch the movie, you see it from Dwayne's uncle who said, hey, I don't like what you're doing. I don't like the drugs. I don't like any of this doing I don't like the drugs I don't like any of this but I love you and I'm gonna see you through this and I think that that's something that we all need

right now just unconditional love. And I thought that was dope for that time period too because that time period was a time where I think most people wouldn't understand and for the uncle to actually say no I don't care what you what you do what you're into I want you to go to rehab yeah right but I love you and I thought that was amazing. And I don't care what you do, what you're into, I want you to go to rehab, but I love you. And I thought that was amazing. And I don't want your riches. Because remember, Dwyane tried to buy the love, right?

Because it was like, okay, I'm getting money, like, now this is how I'm gonna get you to like me. And the uncle's like, yeah, I don't need that. I love you just because I love you. And, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say for me, honestly, the response for me, even 20 years after doing Baby Boy, helped me decide to do it.

I mean, Dwyn was like, you have to do it. You have to play this role. Tressa was like, there's nobody else. You have to do it. And it wasn't the personal connection for me to Dwyn and his mom that made me say yes. I learned with Baby Boy that so many women and so many mothers look to that story for permission to be complex and complicated in their mother-son relationships. Mama gotta have a life too.

Come on now. You say I'll pop right back in, right? So when I read the script and looked at the story, I liked the complexity of their relationship. I liked the complicatedness of it. And you know, I feel like that's love too. And especially in families navigating the LGBTQ community. And so I wanted to do my part to give permission to these women as mothers and sisters in the families

to know it's not easy and it's complicated. But you have permission to allow it to be. And so sometimes I think visually can change something. I posted one of the scenes on my Instagram yesterday where he first comes to tell me on a phone call that he's gay. And so even that, as simple as that is, that's a thing in our culture.

That's a thing in our community. Do I say it, do I not? I interviewed a lot of gay, trans families and so many gay men said they're 50 and they still haven't come out to their families. Right? So to me, it's another one for the culture. That's what I've been saying. I do have to ask one question.

You just mentioned House Party and just made me think about it. I said Baby Boy, but you can talk about House Party. The reason I said House Party is my daughter's dance, right? And when I show the movies with people dancing that look like us, that's hip hop, we have to go back to House Party. And I've always wondered, why don't we do cultural movies like that anymore? Like we don't see those type of, just don't have to be about the boys in the hood

and that, but like house party with. There ain't nobody dancing, they just on drugs. Yeah. They rocking their hips. That's one thing. They rocking their hips. They rocking their hips. They rocking their hips.

The execs are not green lighting those types of projects. So we have to come together, right, in our community, and invest with each other. Every single movie that I've ever produced, under the Megamind media banner, we have investors that say, I'm gonna put this money up because I want to see the movies that other people won't green light.

And that's what's making it happen. And just think about what's crazy about that because House Party just celebrated 35 years. Crazy. Crazy. And we're still talking about still doing the dances, still, which I love. And then you get the other side of it, Baby Boy is celebrating 20, 22 years. So it's like if you're looking for the longevity in your content, it's kind of best to say, you know, why not, why try to fix what's not broken?

In terms of the just feel good camaraderie films, the family films, so a lot of times, you know, the studios are following the trends. That's not necessarily what's gonna be talked about in 35 years. I think the 90s, early 2000s was more focused on black joy. Yeah, I agree. You know, and then somewhere along the line,

it just became about less oppression in a lot of ways. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, you know, sign along the line, it just became about oppression in a lot of ways. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, you know, sign of the government, sign of the times, right? Sign of where we are, but I also think, which is what I love about Tressa and Megamind Media, they're not afraid, which is how we came to fighting to be me.

They're not afraid to take a stance and say, this story is important for the culture, it's not getting done, and we need to tell it. We need to talk about it. We need to give support to it. And so here we are. And it's a visual support system. Y'all touch.

I'm sorry, go ahead. I was gonna say y'all touch so much stuff in the movie. I literally kept sensing myself, why haven't I heard of this movie? Why haven't I seen it? Some of this stuff could go viral, the names involved. And that was the first question I asked actually this morning when I saw you like yo Why didn't hear about this before you guys were coming up here and it's unfortunate because it's really really good like the she

Dwayne is so fly and it's just Like oh, okay. She was getting money with it with the G's Don't you love at least would I watch it what I love you? Have you seen the yet show? I mean, no, you see it.. He gonna love the gay gangsters. I know, I know. What I love is watching, you know, I love how brilliantly we went through the timeline with the fashion.

If you notice, Mommasins hair changed from a certain bob to highlights to platinum blonde. You know, platinum blonde went out. He's killing it. You know, platinum blonde went out till like mid-90s, late 90s, right? So even the timeline and the dress, you know, Dwyn's hairstyles, the blowout. The leather wrap around top that you had on with the cut when Dwyn called you from jail.

I was like, oh, mom is getting money now. They're sitting up. Like, this is like gangster fashion right now. This is like drug lord fashion. Yes. If you don't know the 90s, you kind of got to go back and research that. But if you really look at the 90s, that story, like you're saying, the story is filled with so much that's different stories besides just what's happening.

What did you guys decide to omit from the movie though? Because you even mentioned names directly. But one name. What name? You told me Zaire. Oh, who is Zaire? Is Zaire, who is Zaire? Because, okay, so background, you got to give them background for people.

Yeah. Yeah. So so Zaire was one of Dwayne's life loves that happened to be an up and coming rapper in the 90s. Really popular, but was gay and a Muslim. And so at the time, of course, you know, he wasn't out, but they were madly in love. And so, you know, in the story, it portrays that that situation and the hardship of not just them being gay and lovers, but how does this work? And the fact that it didn't then or it doesn't now, we don't know.

But once again, just, you know, we're talking about freedom. How many of of of people are fighting their sexuality because of their religious beliefs or their family, their upbringing, their family background. So that's one person in it. I mean, a lot of names were changed. There's a couple of situations. It's not who you thought it was.

Definitely not who you thought it was. Yeah, I figured that name was changed. When she said Muggles, I'm like, nah, he wasn't Muggles. Because I was like, wait, what? Who is it? Because y'all directly say other people's names, and I'm like, that was done on purpose, but I get, I understand why.

And there's also the whole reality star thing that sent her back to prison. Yeah, that's a name change Okay, so, you know you have to you have to go find the Easter eggs as they call them in cinema The the truth of the stories, but yeah, there's a lot There's a lot that and we're hoping to do a series because there's so much I mean, let me just say this the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree We had an hour and a half to tell the story. But listen, DuWinn, she gets it from somewhere and that mama sin, that mama sin,

you know, there's a reason why she wasn't saying, no, you keep the money. She was taking them furs and them diamonds and the clothes and the move to LA. There's a lot going on. You know, y'all mentioned support. Support is important because you can make these films, but if nobody supports them,

it won't make sense for you to do them. And it won't make sense for studios to buy them. So how important is support? Absolutely, we need the eyeballs on these projects. And so, you know, Dwayne Curry is currently streaming on BET Plus, and we need everybody to go watch it. We, you know, shameless plug,

last night AJ and I were in Times Square, and we saw the billboard come up, right? And we were so excited. I mean, it was just like, okay, this is real. People are getting eyeballs on it. You know, we had a premiere last week, people started talking about it, but to Lauren's point, we need more people

talking about it. And you know, I gotta say, even with these cultural, iconic, legendary projects, from my experience, it takes time And you know, I gotta say, even with these cultural, iconic, legendary projects, from my experience, it takes time. You know, for these stories that are not mainstream, it takes time. You know, House Party was a small independent when it first came out. Baby Boy didn't do, it was a Sony picture, but it didn't really do great in the theater. And so now everybody's like, oh, these are iconic classics. But you know, once again, you just have to talk it up and market,

and thank you guys for having us, because we have to tell more of the community. You gotta watch, tune in, spread the word, watch, so we get more of them done. Have you ever turned down a film because it wasn't good for business? Because you wanna create art, right? But it's still a business.

Absolutely. So do you ever say to yourself, oh, that might be a little tough? Yeah, sure. I definitely think about distribution before I ever shoot anything. And so it's always, keep in mind, independently it's my money.

So that means you are really thinking this through in terms of can I get this money back? Where can we go? Who's gonna support it? And does it have longevity? Because when you own your films in perpetuity, like right now BET owns the rights to Dwayne Curry. Well, five years from now,

you can start licensing that product to another platform. And so you have to think ahead of the game going, okay, in 10 years, who will still want to see this project? And that's why she says it's important to own it because once the contract is up with a network, you go someplace and do what you want with it. Have you ever seen the meme, AJ, of there's a video of you in your garden as a baby boy's mom.

And everybody's like, now that we older, we understand why her having this garden and having that blunt in the garden was so important. You saw that meme before? Lord, let me tell you something. Every time somebody posts it, I get it sent to me 50,000 times. So when you see that,

I mean, you probably understood that then because you were in it. You had to channel the character. But when you see that and you see, because my generation is doing it, people younger than me are reposting it. That type of impact, what's your response to that? Are you tired of it?

I mean, I said no. And listen, when I shot the film, I didn't know. I didn't get it. So I feel like everybody else. You did? No! We believed you so bad. Well, I was acting. But then I was. But I'm saying now that I'm older, I understand that stance, you know, in terms of just wanting the piece and finding your own place, especially as women. You know, we're so busy doing and doing and doing that I now understand the importance of, yeah, but where's the piece? Is it in your garden? Is it just with a glass

of wine? Is it kicking it with your girls? So I understand. And the fact that it's become such an iconic moment. You never can predict that. At least I can't. I never can predict what's going to be iconic. And I don't pick projects even thinking that. I pick projects, because I know that my divine assignment is to do projects where there's a message. And you know, and I always think if I do this, it just took me up to think about it. If I do this project, can I change one life?

Can I talk to one person and maybe shift their perspective? If the answer is yes, that's why I do it. So that's why you don't see me a lot. Honestly, in film, it's gotta mean something. I can't just do the hot project or the hot script. If I can't find a reason for me to give a message, then it's not mine. What makes you wanna do a film?

Because when I watch Baby Boy now, I got a whole different perspective of it than I did 20 years ago. So what made you wanna do that film 20 years ago? What was the message in it for you? The message was single moms are not necessarily the downfall and to give single moms hope in, once again, like I said, that prepared me

for fighting to be me. Single moms, especially in the hood, are learning, growing up and learning with their kids, that I wanted to give them permission to fail and to keep moving and that love always wins. Even Mama Sin said, not knowing that she was confirming what I knew from the experience of Baby Boy when I was researching with Mama Sin and just making her go deep about why certain things

that I knew were going to be depicted in this film, she finally said, tear streaming, she said, you know, fear can lead, but love has to win. And so that's what made me go, okay, because as black women in these situations, a lot of times we're leading and living in fear. And so if the film can depict, step out the fear and do what you know you have to do, whether it's putting your son out, because it's time for him to learn how to be a man on his own and you can't do it or whether it's, you know, sending your, your drug addict gay son away in the nineties because you know, he at the time doesn't know who he, she is.

Then sometimes love is doing the hard thing. And so if God's choosing me to do it on film, I got to do it. That's how I felt too. When you watch baby boy now, it's like at first, when you first see it, you think this is a movie about this young man, but it's really about the women and the women in his life and how he has to eventually break the cycle, I think, of single motherhood in a lot of ways. And let me tell you, now that it's years later,

one of the things my dear love and friend, John Singleton, when Sony told him that they wanted a PG rating, it was shot to be R, because it was a lot of the women, the sexuality and all that. Sony said they wanted PG and pushed the film with Tyrese and Snoop because they were the hot talents at MTV at the time.

That wasn't the story though. So they actually gave John millions of dollars to reshoot some of the film to focus on them a lot of the chase scenes at the end You know Snoop coming out of jail He was on the phone most of the time in the original script and was about me and being in the relationship Taraji and Tyrese but the studio was like that's not the story was funny Now is what you just said all these years later. It is exactly the story In that deep yeah, cuz the family you you ended up up with Bing Reim, so that's a full family now.

Yeah. Tyrese and Serajie ended up together, so that's a full family now. Only person that got left out was Tyrese's first baby mama. Yeah. She ain't crying nobody. She the only one. She the only one.

It be like that sometimes. I want to just give AJ a shout out, because I was thinking about as you were talking, they don't know your presence on set. When AJ comes on set, everybody is going to leave fulfilled. You're going to get schooled, and you don't even know that you're getting schooled. You're going to get some inspiration,

and you don't even realize that it's coming. People, you change so many lives when you're on set. You always do. I hope so, because I know now that when I go on set I'm not there to boost my celebrity, you know, I'm not there I mean honestly, I've been doing this since I was 20 So, you know the red carpets I get it But you already know, you know life is more than that at least for me it is and to be able to travel and live in

Other countries is way more than that So for me when I go on set I know it's a divine assignment to just show people at this age and stage that your life can be full. And it doesn't have to be about chasing the next project. Like even now, when I'm doing interviews in red carpets for this, so what's your next project? And I say, golly, journalists are still asking that.

Like after 20, 30 years. And I say, you know what, I don't freaking know. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I'm producing, you know, I'm looking for projects, we're looking for scripts. So we don't know yet. But I mean, I couldn okay with that I'm okay with that I'm producing you know I'm looking for projects we're looking for scripts so we don't know yet but I mean I couldn't say that with confidence 20 years ago because that just wasn't the thing to do but now the freedom I live with the freedom is amazing so I'm

just trying to you know be an example on set and I know that's why I'm there now I gotta I gotta ask you attended and you graduated Spellman yeah in Atlanta now you're also a member of Delta Sigma Theta have been for years now You heard this well yesterday morning when we were talking about the the young man that lost his life I'm so glad you're bringing us out. Go ahead and Wanted you to break that down. We were talking about is hazing should fraternities This already should should they still be doing hazing at this point? Okay, how much time we got?

Go ahead! Great time! That's another year of rank and wealth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's start with the fact that I pledged at 17, one of the youngest undergraduate pledges at Spelman at the time. And then through my stay at Spelman, I became vice president of the chapter, which then gives me Dina pledges as a new, when

the new line comes in and Dina probates. The difference between those is Dina pledges is you bring the new pledges in and see them through the process. Dina probates means you carry them through the end of the process because it's a process. And so having those two positions, I can comfortably say that hazing is a personal thing. It's not an organization thing. When I say that, meaning if you've been hazed before and you want to interject that on a new pledgee, that's a personal thing. My pledge period was no walk in the park. It was not. And so one of the reasons I

wanted to become Dean of Pledges is to say that's not necessary. And again, we're talking about undergraduate pledging. So when you are 25 and 26, and you're no longer even in the school, and you're still coming back to be part of the pledge period, that's also a personal thing. Like, what are you missing? And why are you coming back to inflict

possibly deadly, fatal force? If you're in the institution and you're a member of the chapter, nine times out of 10, you're being raised in the way that the chapter is being raised. And so nowadays hazing is not allowed. So again, I'm still going to, there's something personal, a personal vendetta, that somebody's exercising in that. Um, the other side of it is as Dean of Pledges, I'm in control and that's just it.

I'm in control of not only who's around the Pledges within the chapter, but also the visiting members of the organization that come back. So it's my say who gets to be around the Pledges, period. So that job only goes to, we were talking about this, that job only goes to a strong spirit, an authoritative spirit, to make sure that the Pledges stay safe.

So were there sorrows coming back around when I was Dean of Pledges? Absolutely. Was where there's sorrows coming back around when I was seeing a pledges Absolutely was either one saying no, we're not doing that. No, you can't be there and you know who they are See, that's the other thing a lot of these a lot of these hazers, you know who they are or you know the potential they have So they're not strangers to your organization or to your chapter You have to stand up and say that's gonna be a no Now when you look at tradition, right? Because you know a lot of people that have been through a process

might say, I've been paddled before. Yeah. A lot of people say I might have been whatever before. Yeah. And usually those things don't kill you, don't hurt you. Right. But in situations, it can happen. Yes.

So what do you say in that situation? In terms of when you have those things going. Like paddle, right? That's something that a lot of sororities and fraternities yes that has happened before yes uh but you can get hit with a paddle and die yes and so so here's the open honesty so i've been paddled um usually when you make the century club the lady called this morning said she was at the century i did i did i made the century you were young so are you allowed to talk about it um not beyond me saying i mean i'm part of the sexual... You're the sexual guy.

Yeah, I was going to say, because normally I don't know how much you could talk about, but I have friends that have been younger on the line, and they got a little bit worse because they were younger. Yeah. I don't know if your experience leaned toward that either, too, because you were younger. They were making examples. I don't know if that was the case. I mean, I do believe sometimes that is the case. I don't necessarily think that was the case with my

line. And when I pledged it was a lot of suspended chapters. It was a lot of not having lines for years. So you know, but once again, we're talking about a different time. We're talking about early, you know, late 80s early 90s. So it's a whole different time. But what I say is once and you're typically blindfolded, so you don't know who it is, you don't know what's happening, right? So to me, once I became a member of the chapter and started seeing how that works, there's things that can replace that, you know? That's tradition that doesn't need to stay.

And that's what I feel. You know, there's traditions that don't need to stay. I mean, when I was doing the pledges, and a lot of my pledges are going to say don't need to stay. I mean, when I was doing a pledge, he's in a lot of my pledges, he's going to say, I had them exercising. I mean, that was punishment enough, right? You don't know your founders, one mile. And they were like, Oh man, really? It's like, you know, there's different forms of teaching and being authoritative without it being physical abuse.

I just feel like if it's college, it should be something more cerebral. Well, I'm just, I mean, there's just, it doesn't have to be physical abuse period and that's just my stance. But you know sometimes people will say that the graduate people that's that's in the fraternity of Sorori are not looked at the same as the people that actually quote-unquote pledged. Grad chapter. Grad chapter. Well that's true and then we also some organizations in the D9 also have honorary members. Now what I say as having pledged is what's most important to me is the union and the

camaraderie of me having had line sisters. Some of my best friends to this day, as separate as our lives have gone, kids, no kids, teacher, I'm in Hollywood, we're still connected because we helped each other through a trying process as we were teenagers. You're not getting that in graduate, right? And you're definitely not going through that when you're an honorary. So I think we have to value, in undergrad,

we have to value the truth of the process and know that it doesn't have to be physically abusive, especially when it can be fatal. Now also talk about the importance of sororities and fraternities, because Charlemagne was like, shoot, I'm about to do a Blood of Crip. I heard you.

I asked that too earlier when we started talking. I said, hey, tell me what is the biggest benefit now at your age? I said, because I didn't pledge because I didn't like seeing what some of my friends online were going through. You didn't. So I was like, give it to me. I said, tell me. You think so?

I feel like aesthetic you give, AKA, but internally you give delta. That's what I think. Yeah. I said, tell me. I feel like, aesthetic you give AKA, but internally you give Delta. That's what I think. We can change the aesthetic. Right, right. No, no, no, because Delta's being fought, like you know what I mean? Delta's all those girls, period.

I know what you mean. But I do think there's a look. Do I know what you mean? Period. I do, I do. But can you talk about that from undergrad and then graduate? Like what's the importance of undergrad and then graduate? Of being a part?

Yeah, benefits. I don't think it changes. I think it matures. I don't think the benefit changes. In undergrad, you know when you're studying, when you're looking to graduate and find a job, you know you've got generations of women that are with you that have gone before you that are going to be a help that you won't normally have. You've got sorority members that are in corporations that may be able to get your resume in a different position and faster than if you weren't a member. And remember, I'll speak for mine, you know, there's a certain GPA that is required to pledge and so you've got a certain intellect, going back to the collegian thing, you've

got a certain intellect to even qualify. Y'all don't play about education. No, we don't. And so our foundation, our foundation is service and education. So, right. That's why he didn't qualify. No, because some lines will like, some fraternities and sororities, if they want you bad enough, they'll figure it out. But Delta does not play about that. That is their number one thing. They don't play about the GPA. And I'm going to tell you even in the the graduate level it's even strict with being um being a grad you having a graduate degree. At this point I probably wouldn't have made line outside of undergrad because I don't have the the the graduate level education that's required.

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This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. I'm Mary Kay McBrayer, host of the podcast, The Greatest True Crime Stories Ever Told. Join me every week as I tell some of the most enthralling true crime stories about women who are not just victims, but heroes or villains, or often somewhere in between. Listen to the greatest true crime stories ever told on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So that's part of it. And so what happens is the organization is building a platform and a funnel of education like-minded, like-spirited women. So now you've got all these women who are successful

in their own right helping each other worldwide. So they're worldwide organizations. I can travel, whether it's Australia, Africa, and I'm meeting a Sarah who's saying, hey, what are you trying to do? Hey, what are you trying to do? Well, let's connect. Or I know a Sarah who's saying, hey, what are you trying to do? Hey, what are you trying to do? Well, let's connect. Or I know a Sarah who's, or who's, so I don't know where I would be, whether it's Hollywood or just in my life, if I didn't have Sarahs to call on.

And now it's bigger than Delta for me. It's now D9, because as a Hollywood personality, it's more than just Delta. I've got friends and colleagues that are AKA and Zeta, and so now it's even bigger because now we have more of a D9 sorority going than just Delta or just AKA or just Zeta or just Sigma Gamma Rho. So it's really a like-minded, like-spirited

from the beginning. Is there a film y'all would wanna make about the D9? That's confirmation, your confirmation. We just thought, just because of this, we were talking about it. Because I was saying to Tressa, I've seen where TV shows and movies have tried to touch on it,

but they rarely use true Greeks to consult. And so it's always been a problem for me to have pledged and obviously passionate about it, but them not getting the intricate details right. Not that we tell the secrets of the organization, but there's still things that could help people better understand why we pledge. The fact that you're even asking that means that the stories

that have been told have not been accurate enough. We know not only that, it's bigger in other communities or in other cities than others. Like I'm from New York, right? So fraternities and sororities, we didn't see as much. But I had roommates from Indiana, Mississippi, and Atlanta. So it was everything for them and legacy. My dad did this, my dad did this.

So when you have those roommates and they're telling you about it and what it does, it hypes you up to be like, damn, I think I want to do that. Which put me onto it, because I'd never heard anything about it. But they would always say, you know, when I graduate, my brother's going to help me get this job. My fraternity brother's going to help me in this lane. He's going to guide me when it comes to this. And I was like, brother's gonna help me get this job, my fraternity brother's gonna help me

in this lane, he's gonna guide me when it comes to this. And I was like, that's things coming from your family. I feel like that's what people should see via cinema. Cause if they saw that, it would probably inspire people to wanna be a movie. It's hard to explain to people who haven't been on an HBCU campus and actually went to the school because you know that while you're there, but like.

You see it. Yeah, you feel it. Like the Greek impact, that's why like when Kamala was getting all that flack for like going and speaking to Greek organizations over whatever I'm like if people understood the power of the divine nine and what they can do when they unify they would get it But for people who've never been on a HBCU campus You don't feel the power in the culture that divine nine brings and I think it is because we're not seeing it in Cinema, maybe consistently in the right way

We looking for investors. Yeah, for sure. I'm always down for that. You know her leading lady too? Or? Okay, okay. Well, you know, a co-lead. Period.

Oh, you right. Yep. But wait, is that why Judge Mathis is one of the, he's like the, he's an EP on The Dwinkers? Because he is, do you know him through the the he's a he's a so I So judge actually took in both the Tinesa Welch story and the dwencarry story to BET because BET was doing the American gangsters series and so both of those projects they had episodics which I think it was like maybe 45 minutes and so those were the two projects that

BET said alright, let's let's make this a full biopic. But Judge Mathis was the one that took them in. He had relationships with both of them. And then they introduced Judge to me. And then that's how we made it. Because he's an alpha. And I thought you might have known each other just like. No, it helped make a deeper connection. Got you.

No. But I just want to add something about the Greek thing. After spending time in Africa, another thing that I actually make a deeper connection. Got you. No, but I just want to add something about the Greek thing. After spending time in Africa, another thing that I actually took a break, because I was so busy in undergrad with Delta, I took a break because I was burnt out. What made me want to come back to the organization here is because we don't have, as Americans, we don't have the sense of village that we had on the continent. So families live in compounds,

families work together, families grow together. As Americans, we don't have that. And so I feel like that's another reason why a lot of us pledged is to have that camaraderie in terms of as we move through life. Here, our families separate. As we get adults and we marry, we separate. In Africa, the new wife comes, the husband comes,

the kids come, and then we stay together. So because we don't have that experience, I think that's what makes a lot of us pledge, but I think that's what the Greek organizations based here in America have to remember, that we're creating villages. It's not about killing people. It's crazy you said that when I went to,

years ago, years ago, I went to Johannesburg to do some parties and do some shows. And the person that I went there, I went to visit him. And the way that he lived, he bought the property next door to his house and then brought the property next door to their house and they all lived like in a big compound. And I just thought it was amazing.

That's why my daughter still lives in my house now at 23. I just like that. I love the fact that you have that community. And I don't know where we got to the point where it's like, you turn 21, you gotta get still lives in my house now at 23. I just like that I love the fact that you have that community I and I don't know what we got to the point where it's like you turn 21 you gotta get the fuck out my house I what we were talking that Like the fact that I can see my daughter every day and and it is what it is she has a boyfriend that's fine I love the fact that everybody's in the same house same community. We cook together. We play games together We do this we do that. There's no other feeling, but it's also a safety for myself.

I know where everybody is. I was gonna ask, one thing that Louis V said, which is our program director from Atlanta, he said the hardest thing about the Divine Nine is people don't pay their dues. And he said because of that, a lot of times y'all don't have the power that y'all need because y'all don't have the money and funding.

Is that true? I think it's an individual thing per organization, but I know that, you know, I also feel like dues paying has got to be more appealing in terms of what the organization is going to do. You know, for me, because I'm a soul that's into service, I'm traveling the world in service. I mean, I work for organizations in Ghana and and Senegal and I'm still doing what I was trained to do as a Delta. But to be in a chapter in an organization, I have to be attracted to what that chapter is going to do. And if I'm paying dues, I need to know what's my

money being put towards. And I think that's where a lot of organizations, the denied organizations, have to elevate in terms of what are they really doing with the financial obligation. And so, you know, there's always room to grow. So we'll see. Well, last question for you. What's your what would you rate your most impactful culturally impactful role of all your roles?

Oh my goodness. You know, honestly, I've seen where, you know, House Party has done its thing and continues to do its thing, you know. I can't deny that. You know, people are still running up to me in Times Square, at the airport. Are they trying to dance with you every week, girls? Yes! Do you do it?

Yes! A lot of that has to do with the fact you have not aged, man. I told her that one, I was like, yo, she broke it down right out here before we came back. But I mean, the whole office had, hey, it's too the hit. I was like, hey, hey, hey, yes. And then of course, Baby Boy, you know, it has its plunge. And you see how to me, every project, and I can't speak for every actress, but I know the way God moves with me, every project pushes me into the next one. So as you heard me say, Baby Boy helped prepare me for fighting to be me. This is my first installment

of taking a stance anything LGBTQ. And so that's a whole nother culture and community for me. So let's, I mean, I'm sure this project's gonna do something in that community, in that space, but as an African American culture, that's part of our culture. So I just think that for people to have seen me so much in Baby Boy and so many people have grown up with me, you were saying that, right?

Have grown up with me in the culture. I think when I step on screen, it's just part of it anyway. And I take that to my advantage. It becomes impactful. Yeah, I know, like I said, I know when I step on screen in a role like this, I know people are gonna pay attention. And so I take that seriously.

Well, you did a great job. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I was just telling her you did a great job as Dwyane's attention. And so I take that seriously. Well, you did a great job. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I was just telling her you did a great job as Dwyane's mom. And you haven't met her. Who, Dwyane? Dwyane's mom. Oh, like in person? The real Momma Sin.

Oh, no, no, no, no. She crazier than how you were on screen? Yes. Because you put a gun to it. No, don't tell, don't tell, don't tell. Okay. I pull a gun, let's just say that. Yes, you do. Early on in the movie, too.

I pull a gun. Put a cigarette in the other hand. I do, I pull a gun. Look, you see, I pull it early on in the movie. I pull a gun. Yeah, I know the other hand I do I pull a gun. Look you said I go straight into mama sin straight into her Yeah, yeah, she said she's a she's a she's a colorful person and so and so Even that, you know I was a little nervous because there's a there's a risk as an actress and I talked to trust about this and the director When we were filming there's a risk as an actress, and I talked to Tressa about this in the director when we were filming, there's a risk as an actress

that people think, okay, where is all this coming from in AJ's portrayal? That's who she is. That's really who she is. So I mean, when you look at the characters in this story that are real people, you get to see, okay, this whole story is really colorful. I'll just say that.

You were gonna ask something. Now I was gonna say, what's the story that you wanna tell, Tressa, ultimately? I think I want a faith-based or faith-based adjacent project that will appeal to the masses and get stories told that people wouldn't ordinarily listen to because they

hear faith-based and then they run. What's faith-based adjacent? Faith-based adjacent is, for example, I'm getting ready to shoot a movie that is a crime drama slash faith-based where it's a story about crime and activity that's going on, but then there's this devout Christian mother that has to make a decision where she's like, you know what? I believe in the Lord, however, you just mess with my child and we get ready to have a problem. So if you tell stories like that where people, it's real life, you know, because people think that being a Christian means I'm perfect. That's not what that means. And so I want to tell a story that will relate to the masses where they can see, oh, wow, like I can have faith,

but still be human. I'm not perfect. Doesn't mean I have to do everything right. I want to tell a story like that. And I want to do it in a big way with an excellent cast. And AJ is going to be my EP. Yes. Charlamagne is going to invest.

I'm going to do it. Lauren's going to be in the movie. Yes. What you doing? I can produce too, whatever I need. Yeah, what's going to be your role? I do a little bit of everything. I can act.'s gonna invest. Lauren's gonna be in the movie. What you doing? I can produce too, whatever I need. Yeah, what's gonna be your role? I do a little bit of everything. I can act, I can invest.

You can figure out the soundtrack and the sound and all that. But you know what? Even though we're using this as an example, that is what I love about. And she's serious, by the way. I was gonna say that. Oh, I'm definitely serious. She's serious.

Oh, I know, but you do that in real life. I don't think people understand how lit it is. Even with me, first time pitching a show, I got on the phone with her and she was like, okay, so yeah, that's done. What else you want to do? I was like, I had pitched to so many networks directly and I talked to her and she was like, and I was like, this is crazy because it's another black woman, so she gets it. But you've empowered so many people through that and they're making real money.

That's another thing, because when you independently do stuff you don't see a return. But like so many country wings, so many people are making money off of the projects you take to these networks as well. That is major. I'm just the vessel.

And so what I like to do is go in the room, we figure out how we can work together, because that's the only way we're gonna make it, is if we collaborate. Everybody's out here trying to be cutthroat, me, me, me. That's not how to win. You can't do it that way. Right, and they're expecting us to be cutthroat

because they know we can't win that way. So we have to change it. And they're telling us a lot in loud that they're expecting us to act a certain way. And so it's up to us to change the narrative. So when she call call y'all answer the phone cuz she gonna really call y'all. Yeah And what's this role preparing you for next um You know, I I think it's and this is interesting after baby boy I was offered the mama role the mama role, the mama role of 57, the mama role of 65,

and I was, and I turned a lot of it down because I was using Baby Boy as critical acclaim as an actress to do more action. That's really what I wanted to do. And so that didn't really happen. I don't think because of me, it's just that genre, nobody was looking for a black action star at the time. And so now I realize that there is, what's the word?

There's adoration. I said appetite. What'd you say? I said appetite. Yeah, appetite, yeah, appetite, adoration, respect for what I bring to these roles. And so now I'm looking at story. I'm looking for stories that can talk about our culture, whether it's the mama role or whether it's the teacher something,

but I'm looking more for scripts where there's parts of our culture that aren't being displayed on screen and not so much. Now, if I can wear hot pants and carry a gun, then I'm good with that too. But you know, I mean, I've always wanted to do Flojo's story. Ooh, I've been hearing about that forever.

Yeah, and so. Somebody had the right to it, I forgot who had it. Yeah. I can't remember if they. We have to go back to that, because John Singleton and I were trying to do it right after Baby Boy, and then, you know, it just, his focus shifted and we just didn't get it done.

But again, not even just the biopic of the athlete, but just the life of an athlete at that time and what it took to be so great and to still be a woman and to be so courageous in her fashion. It's like what we know, we see Serena doing it, we see other women doing it, but Flojo started it. And so I like those kind of stories of, let's know where we come from.

That's the other side. I like going back into our history so that people don't think it's just happening. You know, we got a bad history behind us and I wanna tell those stories too. Yeah, I think Tiffany Haddish, I feel like Tiffany Haddish had it. Well, she was supposed to play.

She was starring and producing in a biopic about Flojo. I don't know what happened though. And then I didn't hear anything else. Probably because I'm supposed to do it. Okay. That was starring and producing in a biopic about Flo Jo. I don't know what happened. And then I didn't hear anything else. Probably because I'm supposed to do it. OK. That was back in 2021. Or me and Tiffany. Or me and Tiffany.

I mean, again, it's collaboration. So I mean, I don't know. But that's what I'm saying. I mean, I want to get that story done. She was very instrumental, Flo Jo, I mean, was very instrumental when I was little in my work ethic, you know, and just taking care of my body. And so, you know, and just, you know, taking care of my body. And so, you know, my physical existence now is a large result of her.

And so, oh, for sure, you know, Gail Devers, they were the track greats then. And so now, because I ran track in high school, I pay attention to like, you know, Sonia Richardson and the stars now. Shakari. Thank you, Shakari. Yeah, yeah, Shakari. the stars now. She gon' care. Thank you, Sha'Carri. Yeah, yeah, Sha'Carri. So, you know, what I see is it doesn't change.

The work ethic doesn't change. The generations do. But there's a mind space and a work ethic that doesn't change. And that needs to be seen and taught more than just seeing them at the Olympics. So I'm looking for stories like that too. Question, would you ever do a story about polygamy?

But being the woman who has the guys? Who dabbles in it? Yeah, yeah. Are you dabble dabble-ing? Yeah. How is that? Amazing. Ooh.

Amazing. But I'm telling you. Neil out here stealing your thunder though. Neil, the guy now. Well, you know, listen. He can have the thunder, because he's doing it for a whole different reason. Let me say this, since we're bringing it up.

My space in it, honestly, is because since I've been exposed to different cultures and different religious and spirit practices around the world, my thing is I haven't found a lot of men in America who are really appealing to me spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally. So my thing is I've got the athlete that I hang out with, I've got the spirit that I pray with, you know, I've got the person that's adventurous that I travel with. So it's more lifestyle than it is the sexual connection for me. It's more like I'm not in a relationship, so I have more than one man I spend time with. So whatever you don't get over here you can get here, here, here, or here.

My soul is actually monogamous. But because I can't find that, I don't stop. Did you decide to dip one dab one in polygamy after that breakup you mentioned that took you to Africa? It was before that. Before that, okay. Years ago, it was before that. Wow, okay. It was way before that and so and so me having a relationship after that was me trying monogamy again

And a large part of me was bored, you know intellectually I was bored Again, I want to travel the world. I wasn't finding a lot of African American men who are building their lives to do that I even say now when I meet men I say you know I carry five currencies on any given day. How many currencies do you have? And that's not a flex. But it's intimidating. Oh well see here we go with that. I'm trying to get my money up in one place. Yeah but I mean think about in the. In the pandemic, when the American passport couldn't get us out of here, I got to leave you. Because I got another passport, I got other currencies,

even without the passport. I wasn't even a dual citizen until 2022. In 2020, I went to three different countries because I had cash. I was prepared. I tell you, I got the email. So I had cash in the currency. So I mean, again, this is just my life, right?

It's not like I'm trying to say, I don't want an American man. I'm just saying my international life, my global options take me into different cultures. And it would be cool if that man had the same just on the other side, if he had a woman for this, a woman for that, woman for that, and you for traveling. As long as he's okay with me doing the same thing,

we're gonna have fun. See, that's historic. Yeah, I was gonna say I would love to hear about that. Yeah, that's historic, because I feel like there's so much things that were not going to be taught, because especially what's going on in this country as far as the book banning and all types of stuff.

But I feel like those type of things we need to see. How are we gonna get exposed to other coaches? That's what I'm saying. It's so interesting, because when I started talking about it, the men got offended, and all of a sudden I was the queen of running trains The Queen Choo-choo whatever right and then the women were empowered because a lot of women were saying you know I want I wanted to explore that but I would been afraid to or I can't believe you're talking about it publicly

And I would say even but in the background of it. It's not just a sexual experience, right? That's what that's what us as Americans think that's the first thing I thought of it, it's not just a sexual experience, right? That's what, that's what us as Americans think. That's the first thing I thought of. Yeah, it's not, yeah, it's not just a sexual experience. It's, it's like, I can be, um, I can be, um, not even sexually active, but, but I'm still getting full from my spiritual partnership, my adventure partnership and my travel, my fitness partnership. You know, the guy I pray with may not wanna hike.

You see what I'm saying? And the guy that wants to hike and pray may not wanna travel or can't. It doesn't mean I stop my life. So. Neo got a lot of flak, well not a lot, but like Neo has kids, right? And one of his kids' mom came out about the way

that I guess he's talking about his lifestyle so openly because of their kids. And like. Then it started a whole conversation about like how do you explain this to your kids? Do you bring the people because there's multiple partners around the kids and like all of that. I know you have a son. I don't. Ohantley, who is that? Somebody about to come out. Somebody about to come out. I said you have an old son. I follow your Instagram, I ain't never seen you post a kid, but I was like let me double check. I'm over here going wait a minute, MJ got a kid? I thought you were a celebrity that kept your kid out of the spotlight. No. I mean this don't apply to you then, but how do you feel about that conversation?

Because I'm sure you've had that a conversation with your family members in general Well, I think this you know if you live an open and honest life, then there's nothing ever to hide and so for me Um, I can't speak because I don't have kids but I feel like there's a respectful way if that's a lifestyle I feel the same way about you know, a gay parent thing with a kid You know if two gay men Adopt one to raise a kid or two gay women are raising a family. If two gay men adopt or wanna raise a kid or two gay women are raising a family, there's a way that that family is raised

and trained to understand. And so even when that kid is going to school with heterosexual other parents or having sleepovers, and there's a different way that they're being raised and taught what that lifestyle's like. So I don't know much about Neo's thing. I'm not wild with mine. It's not something that I promote because it's not about that.

It's about me making sure that I'm full and what that means as a global woman. A global woman. I know that's right. Okay, listen. Again, she is intimidating. Okay, fellas. Laura's thinking like now,

like how can I think of this? Fellas, message to you fellas. That's the name of the movie, She is intimidating Here's a question real quick for you two so I know I know you have women but how do you feel about that woman? Perspective would you allow it? No. Would you allow it? Allow? I don't know, how can you stop a woman from doing what she wanna do? But how do you feel? Would you be comfortable?

Would you be comfortable? Would you stay married? Would you stay with your wife? Oh no, no. I mean, I wouldn't personally. No. Can you tell me why? I'm too insecure.

Okay. That's fair. That's fair. I'm glad that you admitted that. Isn't that great? That's very vulnerable. I'm so proud of you for saying that. I like it. I like it. Look at the eyebrows. I've been exploring why. Right. It's for the same part of it is probably for what Envy said, but you wouldn't just say that out loud.

Are you insecure? I guess we would have to have a- Married 23. I've been married for 28. Yeah, I've known my wife, my woman for 26 years, but I guess we would have to have the conversation, like, because you said you have all of these different guys for different things. Right. So what is it that I'm not fulfilling?

I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I'm not fulfilling. I for 26 years But I guess we would have to have the conversation like because you said you have all these different guys for different things, right? So what is it that I'm not fulfilling right now? I think that that conversation has to happen first To decide see what it is. Yeah, I love that

But if it's something that you can't fulfill or you're not interested in do you feel like she's supposed to acquiesce and compromise or Or are there concessions that compromise versus concession, my devotion? Or do you feel like there's concessions that can be made so that you're both happy and fulfilled? That's tough, man. That's tough. I do because I think if presented,

if the other way, presented the other way, if your wives came to you and was like, hey y'all, I think it'd be fun for us to try pulling me for like six months. What would y'all say? Now it's hard! Same thing, why? Cause I'm not missing nothing

Now it's different What she want do? She want to hike? I hike You want to pray? You want to travel? No, I mean like No, no, no, if Gia said I'm okay with you having hypothetically I'm okay with us having three other wives It's a trap, no, no, if Gia said I'm okay with you having hypothetically, I'm okay with us having three other wives It's a trap I wouldn't like what Neil has to deal with I wouldn't want to deal with it. Let's be clear. Maybe a girlfriend Don't get in trouble. Don't get in trouble. No, we can have the girlfriend. Oh, really? Oh, really?

Yeah, she knows where to go back. I don't want the girlfriend. See, that's the point. I don't want the girlfriend. I want the boyfriend. Lauren brought it up. Right. I want the boyfriend.

I want the girlfriend. So here's what's interesting. If your wife wants a boyfriend, you cool with that? No, he already said no. See, but that's what I was trying to get into, that standard of like, I think when Neo does it and people will have things to say but it's like oh shoot neo but when people hear you say it it's like what did you say they called you train something oh the guys yeah that i was queen of the train yeah it's like it's such a different

yeah yeah that would standard be crazy it's likements. Oh, listen to the queen of the trades talking. So I mean. Well, I have a movie with Neo and ever since that, everybody's like, hey, I watched, what's the name of that movie? And I say, it's nothing like that. That's the name of the movie. The name is called The Sound of Christmas. Oh, wow.

He's the lead in a Christmas movie. He's like, it's nothing like that. But when people realize it, you know, just because they're talking about Neo a lot now, they're like, yeah, we know Neo is in your movie. What's the name? And I was like, it's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that.

It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that. It's He's like, it's never like that. But when people realize it, you know, just because they're talking about Neo a lot now, they're like, yeah, we know Neo is in your movie. What's the name? And I was like, it's not like that. What I was going to say is the difference with them is you all have been in long-term relationships.

Mountains and valleys, mountains and valleys. No relationship was perfect. Of course. But you know, for me, I think it's also individual. Because I started my career so young that trying to find that kind of relationship in Hollywood, you know, I think it's also individual because I started my career so young that trying to find that kind of relationship in Hollywood, I wanted it, I couldn't find it. At that time, everybody that could have been

a potential partner, we were all trying to get our foot in the door. And so whether it's athlete, producer, director, talent, it wasn't happening for me like that. But I still wanted my life. So it's not so much, I wanna make sure it's clear even for the people listed. It's like it's not like I'm just saying I want more than one man. That's why I said my heart and my soul is monogamous.

But if I can't have that, then what do I do? That's fair, like until you get it. Yeah, because we found a couple of potentials for you. But then we had to boot them out. Is it tough because you're AJ like you are they see you and it's like, oh shoot, I watch, now they actually movie credits and things behind the scenes. Well, you know what? I'll tell you it helps dating internationally because a lot of the

international men don't know or they don't really care because they're they're of a certain financial status themselves, a certain social status themselves. And so I'm like where you be hanging listen, a certain social status themselves. And so I'm- I like where you be hanging out. Listen, we gotta travel boo, we gotta travel. And so it's not important to their culture, you know? Gotcha. And so, you know, they acknowledge it and they respect it,

but we're not connecting on that level. We're connecting more on spiritual level, on what are we doing for the country, which is where I'm at in my own self Do not take Lauren with you Honey, thank you. Oh, yeah, don't settle. That's my final statement. the cockpit light. Laura, you're a jewel, honey. Thank you. Oh yeah, don't settle. That's my final statement. Whoever it is, don't settle.

Be a woman with global options. It's crazy how she acting like she don't got options though. You know, on Valentine's Day, three different guys sent her flowers. That's a lie. Charlamagne ordered the same flowers from one flower. Three different guys. I know you did that.

He did. I know you did that. I love you, see that laugh? I know he does that. He did. Three different guys sent her flowers on Valentine's Day. That is not true. It's the same guy from three different floors.

No, same floor, three different flowers. You think all these guys are the ones to the same floor? Maybe he was the one closest to him. That's it. He's lying. I love him. I'm not here to do it. I'm trying to figure it out.

It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, y'all. Wake that ass up. Early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How? Goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all-new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi. And what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to the

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