The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Dr. Alfiee Talks Mental Wealth ExpoAlliance, Social Media Influence, Family, Love, Therapy + More

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

The Breakfast Club Sits Down With Dr. Alfiee To Discuss The Mental Wealth ExpoAlliance, Social Media Influence, Family, Love, And Therapy . Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy info...rmation.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning everybody, it's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha Guy. We are The Breakfast Club. We have Lauren LaRosa filling in for Jess. And we have our sister in the building. Hold on, I just gotta do it cause it is homecoming season. I just gotta make her feel comfortable. Ladies and gentlemen, we have Dr. Alfie. Good morning! Good morning. I'm gonna say good morning even though you pulled that helmet out. It's all good.
Starting point is 00:00:26 This is a Hampton University helmet. Well, they got to do it, Howard. Thank you. Thank you, Charlamagne. It's because they be having the, oh, you don't know. I just want to know. You do know. I know about the rivalry, but I don't understand what they got to do.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I just want to know what it is. Because their name changed a couple times. So I'm just, you know, now they H-U. Oh. Wait, like 88, they was H-I-U or something. H-I-U? It was H-I. Sorry, sorry it was h.i this is messing up my mental right now how are you feeling i'm great i'm great i'm great it's all love hbcus that's right all hbc we fresh off the fourth annual mental wealth expo uh couldn't do it without dr alfie brie land noble dr alfie brie land noble is absolutely positively the brains
Starting point is 00:01:04 behind the whole operation. She puts everything together. Okay, all I do is answer a couple text messages here and there. Don't you do that. Tell people about the event. It seemed online. It was amazing. The conversations were great.
Starting point is 00:01:17 People left with a lot of great wisdom. So tell people how it got together and how this year came about. So first I'm just going to say Tyrese. That's what I'm going to say. Tyrese like turned it out. But I think overall it's Char's vision. Born out of Charlemagne, iHeart, the Mental Wealth Alliance. I just help put things together.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Facilitate. Yeah, I just help facilitate. And really, you know, it's our fourth annual event. It's a day of people coming together. They get to see celebs and influencers and people with lived experience talking about black folks' mental health and all of our mental health. And I think really it takes a while to pull it together because you've got to coordinate schedules. You've got to figure out what are the topic areas. You know, this year we had something a little different, an intergenerational mental health panel.
Starting point is 00:02:04 So we had people from Gen X and Millennials and Gen Z talking about it. And then we had the men's panel, the women's mental health panel, you know, healing in the public eye. And then we ended it all together with Mr. Jason Wilson and Tyrese. And so it was just, it was phenomenal. You had vendors, booths. There was just so many opportunities for people to find different ways to tap into
Starting point is 00:02:25 Their mental health And healing It was interesting to see Even when you talk about The intergenerational panel Like Khalid Foster Point guard at Duke University He was on that panel
Starting point is 00:02:33 Who else was on that panel With him? Morgan Noble Who happens to be my daughter Who's an honor student At Howard University Mahmoud Kedar Yep
Starting point is 00:02:41 He was just All of them were so powerful And it was Moderated by your buddy, Elliot. Elliot Connie. Yeah. That was an interesting conversation because another thing I noticed this year, it was a lot more young people there.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Yes. Yes, it was. And I think, you know, young people are the ones driving the conversation. You know, we old heads, I feel like we're kind of following in their footsteps, but they're the ones who are really pushing us to talk about these things. And so with that panel, I also want to shout out Dr. Judith Joseph, who was on that panel. It was wonderful to get the young people's perspective, right?
Starting point is 00:03:14 Because I feel like a lot of times young people feel like we talk at them. Yes. We don't talk with them and we don't listen. And so we had an opportunity yesterday to do all of that, to really listen, particularly that intergenerational panel where it was a lot of young people on there. That's crazy. I had a conversation with my grandmother yesterday and I was like, Mama, why do you always talk at me? And like, why are you always coming for me? Like, why can't we just like talk? And then we started talking and I realized like that's her way of showing love.
Starting point is 00:03:39 She doesn't mean it to be harmful. And then I started thinking like, well, maybe this is why I'm always so defensive because I'm used to that. I was like, man, it's, um, but you know, older people too. It's like,
Starting point is 00:03:49 you always feel like you don't want to be disrespectful when you say certain things. So I think, you know, is your background Caribbean at all? No, but not that I know, but I get that all the time.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah. Well, I think it's like, some of it is, you know, like my dad's a baby boomer. My dad's 82. Shout out to my dad.
Starting point is 00:04:02 And there is something about that generation. I always tell people they were like surviving. Yeah. They couldn't thrive. And so to get to their, the big ages they are now and to be asked to kind of take a step back and listen, you know, they grew up, children are seen and not heard. Yes. You know what I mean? Like you don't talk unless you're spoken to.
Starting point is 00:04:21 And so I think it's hard for them to make that transition. It's not impossible. My dad has really made a transition but you gotta have a will for that. And a lot of times people just don't, I don't think they know how to do it. And not only that, I also feel like they came from, my dad is 82 as well, and they came from an age where
Starting point is 00:04:36 they didn't have help. They just had to get through it. They had kids, they had families to take care of. And you gotta think, that was heavy into the racism era. So, you know, my dad still feels a certain way about certain groups of people because he's just like, they didn't pretty much beat me up my whole life. So how do I turn and say, hey, I like this person now? But they still had to make sure that there was food on the table
Starting point is 00:04:56 and that things were taken care of. So it was a lot harder. Somebody on the panel was talking about that this week, and I cannot remember who it was right now, but they were talking about how oppression leads to depression. Oh, that was Mahmoud. Mahmoud, yes, okay, okay. He was coming for it, the brother's Egyptian,
Starting point is 00:05:10 and he was like really, I think people really resonated with that because you heard the whole audience be like, you know what I mean, because we don't talk about that. And just like you said, it's like all of that stuff is coming at you constantly. And I always think about something I heard Dr. Julianne Malvo say years ago, that black people are always in this state of doing mental calculus.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Is this the battle I'm going to fight? Is this the battle I'm going to fight? Was that racist? Was that not racist? And so imagine, just like you said, you're dealing with all of that, but you still got to go to work. You still got to pay these, put food on the table, put food, you know, clothes on your kids' back.
Starting point is 00:05:43 You still have to try to make progress in your career, but you are constantly being weighed down with all this stuff and you don't have any help. But for that generation, nobody was telling them to go get therapy and we Gen X and our generation early, nobody was telling us, but then people like you got out there and started talking about it and created this expo so people can know it's okay. Like Carson always says, it's okay to not
Starting point is 00:06:05 be okay that's right and you know elliot connie said something this weekend too you know we're only as sick as our secrets my dad is 70 something years old when i started talking about my experiences with anxiety and depression and being on my healing journey that's when he told me that he was going to therapy two and three times a week that he had been on 10 to 12 different medications throughout his life that he tried to kill himself 30 plus years ago. So some of us, some people in our lives were doing the work. They just didn't want to tell nobody. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:32 That's true. I didn't even think about that. But, you know, I think about what tools did they have and how much better are the tools that we have now? Do you know what I mean? Like, I think about the number of times I've talked with patients, older patients, when they used to treat patients and they would come in and say that they had to kind of hop between therapists because they would get in and start talking about the racism and discrimination that they experienced. And people just didn't really know what to do with it.
Starting point is 00:06:53 It was hard for them to have the conversation with them because that wasn't their experience. And so, you know, your dad was fortunate that he had places he could go. But so many people, even if they wanted to do the work, they couldn't find anybody. They didn't even know where to look. And I think people even now still have a hard time. That's why the Expo is so important because it gets you on your journey. Now, would you, you know, one thing I was thinking about the Expo and online, I see a lot of people having mental breakdowns online, right?
Starting point is 00:07:19 And some people say sometimes it's good because they're able to express their feelings. But I always have a problem with that because I always feel like sometimes that will be used against them when they try to do something else, you know? So how do you feel about people using their social media? Because some people just feel like they just need to be free. They just need to let things go. So what's your thoughts on that? I think we have to be careful.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I think, you know, it's not always about intention. It's about impact, right? So you may get on, put all that stuff out there. It's out there forever. And that's what I try to remind people, you know, 10 years from now, do you want somebody looking at that 20 years from now? And so I don't want to get in the space where I say you shouldn't express your feelings publicly because that sort of pushes people into the closet, like around stigma. But at the same time, I think we have to be mindful of how we share our stories I think a little twist on what you said so let me answer the question directly I think it
Starting point is 00:08:10 has to be put in context if you're comfortable with your story right then I and you know the consequences potential consequences then maybe you should share it but at the little twist I put on it is we also have to be careful about the people we love and sharing stuff about them without their permission. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm not talking about if somebody has beat you down and traumatized you, that's a different story. But I'm talking about if somebody wasn't the kindest to you or wasn't the best to you or didn't treat you as well as you thought you should be treated, or maybe they had their own experiences. And what I see a lot of people do is talk about this is my experience but then this
Starting point is 00:08:45 is my loved one's experience I'm like did you check with them if it was okay for you to be putting their business you know on front street like that and so I really think it's I would like to see I don't think I've ever said this publicly I would like to see people who are going to be mental health advocates have a little bit of training on how do you share your story right in a way that it doesn't become trauma porn. I think a lot of times with us as black people and people of color, people like to hear us tell those stories because it sort of feeds a narrative. And so I think we have to be careful to not allow ourselves to fall into the trap of feeding the narrative by controlling our stories in a way
Starting point is 00:09:21 that allows us to be comfortable with it being out there over time we had a panel about that uh this weekend it was a technology panel and one thing uh resma said on the panel was that he wants to see people he wants to see social media get back to being used as a tool to connect humans yes like he was like you know it's not connecting people anymore it's actually dividing us like he wants it to be something that can actually connect us again. Yeah, I think he makes a good point. And I think, I don't know, you know, I don't get too much into the algorithms and that type of thing, but I will say that what I see is the algorithms seem to uplift
Starting point is 00:09:58 the stuff that's more controversial. Oh, 100%. Right? So if it's like, if somebody's calm and cool and like really on their healing journey and that's all they talk about, that's not the stuff that pops up in my feed as much. It's the stuff where people like I saw this video yesterday and it was literally just a sister walking out of her house with this with these nice clothes on. And they had two different captions.
Starting point is 00:10:19 The caption where she said, I got dressed today, hardly had any views. Then there was another caption to say, yeah, they be coming for me when I look like this, when I step out the house. And it had thousands of views. And I kind of feel like that's what somewhat what social media does. So I teach young people, you have to learn how to curate what's in your feed, right? If the stuff don't make you feel good when you scroll in, you have to mute or start unfollowing some of those accounts. Because if you follow that stuff, that's all you're going to get. And it does tear at the thread of connection. Right. It makes it harder to be connected to people because you always doing comparisons.
Starting point is 00:10:51 But what about right now? Do you feel mental health has been addressed enough during the election cycle? Because people have to be tuned in. Right. Yeah. You got to be tuned in because you want to know what's going on. Yeah. But then a lot of this stuff can stress you out too. All of it stresses me out. So I don't think we talk enough about the importance of caring for your mental health in these like difficult news cycles. So, you know, we got multiple wars going on, conflicts all over the world that we're constantly bombarded with. We have this contentious election cycle.
Starting point is 00:11:22 And it's not, I won't get into the politics, but I don't feel like it's contentious all the way around. I feel like it's not i won't get into the politics but i don't feel like it's contentious all the way around i feel like it's coming from one direction and like you said people want to be informed you need to be informed so you can vote right you need to know how to vote so it's hard to find that balance between i need to consume this so i'm an informed voter but i also can't get overwhelmed by all the horrible vitriol and negative stuff that I see. Like, I'm just thinking about the Haitian community and just all that they've been through. So I think about us, you know, as other black folks. So again, it's one of those things where I feel like if we can teach people how to go into the news in ways that don't negatively impact them. So one of the
Starting point is 00:12:01 things I say to people is don't allow the news to just be fed to you. You have to choose how you interact with the news, right? So maybe you need to read something instead of watching the 24-hour news cycle. Or you need to pick things like Stay Tuned or some of these other like social media agencies where they give you the news, all the headlines in three minutes. That could be enough, right? Or you get on a website to learn about the candidate's platform. So you're right. We don't talk enough about how to help people take care of their mental health in an election cycle, but it's really important that we do. I wanted to ask you about love, right?
Starting point is 00:12:35 Do you think that love is a lost form in relationships that's really affecting people's mental health? And what made me think about that is a young lady, I can't remember her name, she was doing an interview, and they asked about the relationship. And she was like, do I look like the type of girl that would pay 50-50? Like, look at my looks, right? Kayla Nicole. And everything was based on looks.
Starting point is 00:12:58 And I feel that hurts people, especially young people's mental, because when they hear things like that, I think a lot of times, I think a woman might say, well, how come my relationship's not like that I'm fishing for that relationship could be a reason that that women or men as well are single because they're looking for something that is not there or doesn't exist it's almost like they're looking for the wrong thing and I think that can cause a deeply depression do you see that a lot we're talking to the younger generation at all I see so my daughter's here Morgan's here. She knew I was going to do it. She's already grinning. And Morgan is 20. And I see some of this through the conversations that I have with her and like
Starting point is 00:13:35 her peer group. Also, because I run the Acoma Project, I talk with young people a lot, my nonprofit. And I think I don't think the concept is new. I think what's new is that we get we're fed it constantly so you can see it much more readily. I think that's always been there, right? I grew up with people. My grandmother literally be like, he got to bring that check home or you shouldn't be dating him. Yeah. And that comes from my grandma.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Yeah. Who's your grandma? Young Miami? Your grandma did not say you got to bring that check home. I promise y'all, my grandmother from as long as I can remember would always be like, a man should be bringing that check home. And my mom used to be like, if you're dating someone, he doesn't have a job. You don't date him and he's not allowed in his house. By the way, I agree with that because I feel like, you know, because men, you know, men be like, what does a woman bring into the table?
Starting point is 00:14:21 Women are the table. Like everything you're doing, you're doing to impress this woman you're wearing these nice clothes you're getting this we had this conversation you're getting this you want to drive a nice car because you want to impress yeah but not to the woman not to the point where a woman is saying that's the only way you can get with me correct yeah so i think it's i think it depends on how you look at gender roles i'm not even gonna get into all that but i do think there's something to be said for the kind. So y'all, this is Questlove, and I'm here to tell you about a new podcast I've been working on with the Story Pirates and John Glickman called Historical Records. It's a family-friendly podcast. Yeah, you heard that right.
Starting point is 00:14:56 A podcast for all ages. One you can listen to and enjoy with your kids starting on September 27th. I'm going to toss it over to the host of Historical Records, Nimany, to tell you all about it. Make sure you check it out. Hey, y'all. Nimany here. I'm the host of a brand-new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone Bash, bam, another one gone The crack of the bat and another one gone history to life through hip-hop. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history. Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing.
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Starting point is 00:16:11 podcasts. Concept of who qualifies for love, like who deserves love and what love looks like. Love is not the stuff. One of the things I love about Jason Wilson is he talks about, you know, he talked about it this weekend is like the constraints that we put ourself under that we don't have to. Like he calls it what is like emotional incarceration, I think he says. And I think to your point, Envy, what some of it is, this is me. This is not talking about that person. My perspective is if you are comfortable with who you are, somebody bringing you stuff is not the thing that's going to sway you in a relationship.
Starting point is 00:16:50 That's right. Right. And my mom, she's deceased, but she used to say two halves don't make a whole in a relationship. You want two whole people to come together to form a whole relationship. And so I think it's really about do I love myself enough to know? I always tell people I'm worthy exactly as I am and I don't want to get like all metaphysical and hokey but it's true I'm worthy as I am and so I want a partner who also feels that he she or they are worthy as they are and
Starting point is 00:17:17 if both of us are coming to the relationship with just a little bit of that I think it helps us get around some of that you got to buy me this. I ain't paying no 50. Because what's wrong with paying 50-50? Like, you're getting to know each other. And I'm not saying it got to be money or superficial. I'm just saying if a woman is going to be giving herself, because that's what she's giving, right?
Starting point is 00:17:36 Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, she's giving you her. Letting you in her body, all of that type of stuff. Man, cut some grass or something. You know what I'm saying? But isn't he giving of himself too yes
Starting point is 00:17:48 just by showing up yeah so you know if he can so if they can both show up I'm not saying it's easy
Starting point is 00:17:57 but remember in order for both of them to show up they both gotta know a little bit about themselves and how many of us go through life with these blinders on,
Starting point is 00:18:05 like blind to ourselves? Like we don't know who we are. That's where self-love comes into play. Period. Perfect that you said that. So I got a friend right now that. What's that on your face? It's from his hat.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Oh, my hat. I got a friend right now that's dealing with every time this person talks to somebody, everybody says you need to work on yourself. And it's not the first time why'd you point over there she's laughing she's cracking up ok so now this is every time she talks to a gentleman the gentleman says
Starting point is 00:18:34 you need to work on yourself before you can come back here not every single time wait the guys are saying this I had two guys say it but first of all but let me tell you something one of the guys his situation is so messed up. He uses that to not have a real conversation about where he is for real. That's deflection.
Starting point is 00:18:53 So it's like, I hear you, but like we need to work together. This has been a conversation that she's been having with men that she's been trying to date. I was going to, when you mentioned, when you asked Charlamagne, isn't the guy showing up too? Yeah. That struck me because I feel like a lot of my friends and what I'm realizing about myself is that I wasn't raised as a woman to really see a man as a person that has to show up I was raised as a like a woman that just a man is there and he's like this like structure but like he's not a person not even a check but just like he he has to fight off the bad people.
Starting point is 00:19:25 You know what I mean? But now that my little brother is getting older, it made me realize like, man, how many times that like there are some self accountability moments. But how many times am I not seeing this man as a person? Yes. So I wanted to ask you because I see that you're married. Yes. Prior to your marriage and like where you are now in your marriage where did your mental health stuff come into play where like you went and actually did the work and you saw the difference
Starting point is 00:19:48 girl you gotta ask the hard questions in the morning good night I've been married I'm sitting here learning okay so I've been married
Starting point is 00:19:56 22 years we've been together congratulations thank you thank you I take that in we've been together I'm not gonna do the math since 95.
Starting point is 00:20:06 It's a long time. Shout out to Dr. Richard. That's 31 years. Together. 31. Thank you. Thank you for doing the math. Because my wife's 30 and we was 94.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Beautiful. So, okay. In a nutshell, before, I'm just going to be very transparent. I was very unsure of myself and made some some mistakes kissed quite a few frogs let me put it like that and I think my journey changed when I just gotta I kind of got like Fannie Lou Hamer I got sick and tired of being sick and tired so I was like I gotta do something different and this is my field so some of it started when I was in grad school I started seeing stuff you know and just learning things and applying them to myself right and then I think I got to grad school. I started seeing stuff, you know, and just learning things and applying them to myself. Right. And then I think I got to a point where I was like, I can do better than this.
Starting point is 00:20:49 You know, I mean, I don't have to put up with foolishness. And I would always think ahead and think I have to be with somebody that when we have children, I want the children to see a healthy relationship because that's what I grew up with. I saw a very healthy relationship between my parents up until the point my mom died and so I think it is I had to make a decision that I wanted it to be different and then I started to do the work so I'm gonna shout out my psychologist Dr. Maya McNeely she was the person who really started to help me it was like right after I got married but even after marriage one of the things I wanted to talk about at the expo yesterday that we didn't get to was this concept of do we know as people, black people, how to receive love? That's right. That was my struggle.
Starting point is 00:21:32 It came up during your panel, but you didn't get a chance to get to it. Yes, we cut it off. Yeah. And so I'm going to put Jason on blast. Jason, I want to have that conversation one day publicly. But so in a nutshell, what I had to do was recognize that I knew how to be present. I knew how to give to people. I didn't know how to let people give to me.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Like my daughter would tell you, I still have a hard time accepting help. So I think it's once I decided I wanted things to be different for me, then I had to decide like sort of what's the destination. I wanted to be a, it sounds really kind of corny, but I wanted to be a healthier version of myself because my mom was always drilling into me two holes make a whole relationship don't come into a relationship as half a person right so that's what it was for me I had to figure out how to be a whole person and the things that helped me were Dr. McNeely mindfulness meditation exercise and I'm not big into journaling but at the time I would do, I have like multiple journals. So I hope I'm
Starting point is 00:22:25 answering your question, but that's what I did. I had to work on me. I think we should have a round table discussion about, you know, do we really know how to receive love? We've got to do it. I think, you know, I always say your first, last and best love is self-love, right? A lot of people don't have that the way they need to. That's where the imposter syndrome and and stuff comes into play and that's why like people can give you a compliment and you feel uncomfortable like huh because you don't even see yourself in that way so I think that is worthy of a discussion because I think a lot of people deal with that more than more than uh they they may they may hold you to it we're gonna do that because it's just important and it was for me it was revelatory I've recognized at
Starting point is 00:23:05 some point in the last three or four years do you know alpha do you know how to be still and let things come to you and just receive them so when you said like how long we have been together when you put the number out there you said congratulations I had to stop myself yeah whatever okay but I had to take it in um and I think it can be hard to take in. I know for me, sometimes that stuff can be hard to take in because it's like, I'm afraid it's going to go away. So when I take in the good stuff, how long is that good stuff going to last? But that's because I'm anxious. And so that's the anxious mind.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Not only that, because I have a hard time with that as well. Like a hard time. Like when my wife, she has to stop me and tell me something. And it's almost like, I'm like, okay, that's good now. Let's keep it moving. Exactly. wife she has to stop me and tell me something and it's almost like i'm like okay that's good now let's keep it moving exactly but i think that's also because we've been conditioned to provide and protect for so long it almost i don't want to say it feels like a a sign a feeling of weakness but it's almost like all right thank you but i want to give my family the love now y'all don't love me i want to love y'all right and when they love me back it's almost like all right but now how's your day you know i mean but it's difficult but i don't know why it's difficult'all don't love me. I want to love y'all. And when they love me back, it's almost like, all right.
Starting point is 00:24:06 But now, how's your day? You know what I mean? But it's difficult. But I don't know why it's difficult. I really don't know why. It's also vulnerability. If you're the provider, if you're the person doing everything, if you're, Jason talks about this, if your worth, part of your worth comes from providing. If you're taught, and it's not just men, right?
Starting point is 00:24:24 You think about being, are you the oldest child? I'm sitting here like oldest child yes that's how i feel that means you have to accomplish all the time because it you just program that way like if you're not solving a problem you think there's what are you told you told look out for the younger ones right so you can't look out for the young ones if you don't have your stuff together right and like the other thing you were saying about like you don't want to disappoint your elders that's another thing you the oldest child you have to perform so I think when you're always in that mode it's hard to be vulnerable because you can't be vulnerable and get your stuff done at least that's how we feel and so we have to find that balance again I'm gonna go back to Jason you got to find that
Starting point is 00:24:58 balance between recognizing that your worth is in your presence well I didn't make that up right I've heard that. I think Iyanla Bay's aunt was the first person I heard say that. But that's where your worth is. So if you can start from my worth is I'm here. We're all, everybody in this room, our worth is the fact that we got up and we got here today. That's our worth.
Starting point is 00:25:17 You don't have to do anything for it. I think for me, once I understood that, it made it a little bit easier to be vulnerable because in my vulnerability, I'm not losing my power. Yeah. Bishop T.D. Jake said, even if you don't think you're worthy, rest in the fact that God knows your worth. You know, I think that's you know, we talk we have these conversations about mental health. That's part of it, too. Right. Like you have to be spiritually healthy as well. I think that God is a missing factor in a lot of people's lives. Yes, they have no faith.
Starting point is 00:25:47 You got to have faith in something. I believe you have to have faith in something bigger than yourself because otherwise, how do you make sense of so much of the stuff that happens in the world? I feel like you can't. How does it feel to have a daughter that's also following in your footsteps in a lot of ways, but just turned out to be a phenomenal person to be a phenomenal person, you know, she's awesome. She is. She's awesome. That's all we want. Right. I got four daughters.
Starting point is 00:26:09 That's all I wanted. And I met the oldest. She's, she's the bomb. She's, she's on her way, but she got a wonderful mama. You have an incredible wife. You're welcome. She's just a lovely human being. It feels like that I can receive easily. It feels like I got, because it's performance. I help do, help create, right? But she had to take it and run with it. And so one of the things I respect about Morgan so much
Starting point is 00:26:32 is Morgan teaches me stuff all the time. She's like, mama, did you eat? Like when we were in the green rooms, like mama, did you drink some water, mommy? So she's like a caretaker, but she also takes care of herself. I was so proud of her on that stage yesterday on the intergenerational panel when she talked about, you know, like you don't have to always be struggling as black people. We get this narrative that is struggle, struggle, struggle.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And you all all did things. So your little brother and your kids, they don't have to struggle. And so why would you gravitate toward that but her mentor uh one of my friends Mr. James Sample he's awesome he went to Howard as well he taught her you know your parents struggle so you don't have to so I don't want you to struggle and she talked she relayed that to the group that made me so proud so it is incredible to have two kids my son Miles turned 18 yesterday had birthday Miles uh to have two kids about to be both Howard Bison, H-U-U, no, and having them be good, productive, healthy,
Starting point is 00:27:34 emotionally well young people, that's a gift, right? And that's not all me. Like you said, that's from up there. Morgan, did you have a choice? Did you have to go to Howard? Did you and Miles have to go to Howard? Or you had a choice? Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:44 How many schools did you apply to? Tell the truth. Okay. See, she had a choice? Did you have to go to Howard? Did you and Miles have to go to Howard? Or you had a choice? Okay. How many schools did you apply to? Tell the truth. Okay. See, she had a choice. My check was going to Howard, but she had a choice. Now, what's next for the Mental Wealth Expo? Because I feel like we do this every year. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:59 I feel like there's other things we should be doing throughout the year. Yeah. So one thing we hope we're going to be able to do is I'm just praying on it. I'm hoping it's going to happen. Do more than one. That's my hope. And my hope is that we get to honor somebody's hometown with one of them. I'm hoping we'd be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Yeah. We've been talking. I mean, you know, the baby was there at the Mental Health Expo this year. He wanted to be a part of it. He launched the Baby Care Initiative. And so, yeah, we've been talking about doing something in the Carolinas. Yeah, that's right, because he's North Carolina. Yeah, we used to live in North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:28:31 So that's one thing. I think the other thing is we're going to continue to get bigger. We have some ideas already about what kind of panels we want to have. And so we're going to be reaching out. We're going to start reaching out to people soon to try to get on people's calendars early, our talent to bring it. We're going to be reaching out to more vendors. I think we could have, hopefully, fingers crossed, a few more vendors at the venue and have more opportunities for things like breath work and yoga and meditation in some of the breakout rooms. And, Char, we're just going to continue to follow
Starting point is 00:29:00 your vision for the expo. Absolutely. And, you know, one thing that we don't do, we don't, you know, we are a nonprofit organization, you know, mental and you know one thing that we don't do we don't you know we we are a non-profit organization yes you know mentalwealthalliance.org we don't we don't we don't do enough we don't tell people that they can donate yes and we we really want people to do it's so easy you can follow the link in bio on the instagram page for the mental wealth alliance you can go to the website uh their qr codes on there it is so easy and you know it sounds like begging. It kind of is, but you have to understand that money that you donate goes to helping put things together. Like the expo where you're giving to thousands of people,
Starting point is 00:29:33 um, and just trying to support everybody's investing in their mental wealth. So we let everybody in free, you know, like, like we don't charge for the mental wealth. That's it. And that costs money.
Starting point is 00:29:42 So if they invest in the mental wealth Alliance, the mental wealth Alliance can help invest in their mental wealth. That's it. And that costs money. So if they invest in the Mental Wealth Alliance, the Mental Wealth Alliance can help invest in their mental wealth. That's right. And the content from the event is online. You can watch the conversations. It will be. There's a lot on the Instagram page, Mental Wealth Alliance. Char, Tyrese, myself, some of the talent, we've all been posting stuff and
Starting point is 00:29:59 eventually it's going to be on the YouTube page. You said Tyrese set it off. What was the conversation? He was just, well, one thing he did that kind of had me cackling was he ripped the counter, the timer. He ripped it out. He didn't destroy it. Yeah. He took the clock off the floor.
Starting point is 00:30:13 He was like, I ain't paying attention to that clock. And he was just very transparent. Like literally unplugged it. Yes. He kept looking at it. He was like, that clock ain't right. We need more time. He was hilarious.
Starting point is 00:30:22 But I think one thing that he did that really moved the crowd at the end, it was a great way to end, was he kind of encouraged people by saying, like, if you have something that you want to do, right, that maybe is going to help the world, you need to go do it. And he talked about what his thing was that he does. But he was really kind of pushing people to go out and contribute. And I'm not going to say it like he said it because, you know, family friendly. But if you're not going to do it, then step to the side and let somebody else come do it.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah, well, it was a phrase he had. It was, I'm the problem. No, if you the problem, if you have a problem, if you have a problem, do something about it. Yes, right. Because he was like, so many people nowadays don't really be having a problem. They just either want to be a part of the conversation or they just want to jump in on the jokes
Starting point is 00:31:07 on social media but if you actually have a problem do something about it yeah so that was it it was a good way to end well thank you for
Starting point is 00:31:16 joining us this morning that's right how do they follow you Dr. Alfie how do they follow me okay you can follow me a couple places the main one is
Starting point is 00:31:23 Instagram D-R-A-L-F-I-E-E, Dr. Alfie. I'm everywhere. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Facebook. And my website, dralfie.com. And follow the work she's doing with the Acoma Project as well. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Tell them a little bit about the Acoma Project. Okay, so thank you for that. Quickly, the Acoma Project is a mental health 501c3 nonprofit, and we are about three things, raising consciousness, empowering people, and changing the system of mental health for young people of color, where we center and amplify young people of color. And we also talk about the intersections. Queer young people of color, young people of color with disabilities, we want all of our young people of color to do better in life. We do research, programming, outreach. We support the Mental Wealth Alliance with the Expo every year.
Starting point is 00:32:09 We just do all kinds of cool stuff. Thank you. We appreciate you for joining us again. Absolutely. I'm sure you can see our Hampton tone coming because I'm sure she'll be there. I love my HBCUs. I'm just going to say that. Shout out all of them.
Starting point is 00:32:22 It's all love. H-U and H-U all day. There you go. It's Dr. Alfie Breland Noble. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. Wake that ass up. Early in the morning.
Starting point is 00:32:29 The Breakfast Club.

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