The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

The Breakfast Club Sits Down With Dr. Cheyenne Bryant To Discuss Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, And New Show. Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha Guy. We are The Breakfast Club. Lorna Rose is here as well. We got a special guest in the building. We have Dr. Cheyenne Bryant.

Hey. Welcome. Good morning. How are you? Man, you are one of the people in the mental health space who's really using social media right. Right? Like, you know, because you've used it to, to you know elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental

health so i applaud you on that yeah thank you i appreciate that um yeah i always say i didn't get into this field to become a celebrity but god has his own plans right so i um literally in my master's and my doctorate program i remember my professor saying everyone who's going to get licensed raise your hand i didn't raise my hand everybody else did and he's like doc you go you know what Cheyenne at that time you're going through all this and not get licensed I'm like no because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able to change lives didn't think that it ended up being a platform where um to this magnet to one and then to the place where literally I didn't want it the whole celebrity uh status and lifestyle and not that I'm saying I don't want it now and I don't like it.

It's just this is not where I expected it to go. But again, if God needs to use a celebrity-ness, and I said it at your mental health and mental wealth expo, whether the celebrity status brings me the naysayers or the sayers, whatever it brings, as long as they can get a tip or two that gives them a better quality of life and helps them become better mentally, then run the play. I'm good with it.

It is what it is. How does that impact, though, like you do work in mental health, but there's a lot of, like the naysayers are so loud. How does that impact you mental health-wise and, like, what's your work through? Because it's there, especially with that. When the Kim interview came out, they were, people were upset about it. Some people agree, but, you know,

how do you as a person in that space, deal with all of that pushback? This is the thing, sis. I grew up a little girl in the inner city, in the hood. I grew up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of a street dude, a straight gangster, who turned into being a good family man.

And my mom is now sober, for the record. And so I say all that to say that when you grow up in a certain type of adversity, loud noise that's against the grain of what you're doing, it's not loud noise. You know, it's a norm. And that's why, you know, the Bible says it's good for me that I was afflicted. Because when you have those afflictions, they are preparing you for a time like this. That you have to stand in a leadership role. And leadership comes with pressure.

It comes with commitment. It comes with character. And so when you have naysayers who are applying pressure, then that's when you show if you're a pipe or if you're a diamond. But I already knew from the trenches that I was a diamond. So I wasn't worried about coming into this space with somebody having a problem with what I'm doing and I'm in my intent, I'm in my purpose, and I'm vertical in who I am. It don't matter to me because I'm running my own place. So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being Brady waiting for a moss.

I'm good. I'm heavy, sis. I'm good. I'm going to make all of my receivers better. Put somebody out there. We're going to win. Put someone out there. That's just what it is.

So when you're vertical in who you are, you're not really worried about what is going to show up to catch the catch. You know, your job is to throw, and then the receiver's job is to do what? To catch. And so the quarterback don't throw and go, Jess, catch. You better do it. Jess, hands up. The quarterback throws, and he like, all right, I know I did it.

Ten up and slant over. And that's it. And it's a celebration. If you and he like, all right, I know I did it. Ten up and slant over. And that's it. And it's a celebration. If you're in there. If not, we run the play back again until we do it. And that's just what life's about. Now, you talked about your calling. So when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?

What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is your specialty when it comes to it? And what's your calling? I love that. So I started off as a marriage and marriage family child therapist.

And I tell God, I said, listen, I'm a little girl from the hood. You know what I come from? Don't put me in the hood and don't put me with with, you know, court order DCF kids. Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't want to be triggered dealing with him. And I didn't want to have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't in the the system but I came from that type of adversity and uh the first place God put me was off of Hardell and Sloss and I don't know if y'all familiar with LA but a block away from Sloss and Swapmeet in the hood and every one of my my clients were court order DCFS Department of Family and Child Services we had moms in there who were pregnant, still hitting the pipe, asking me, can I sign off on the documents so they can get the kids back?

Because I was predicated on their reunification with their kids. And so I started off as doing that. When I got my doctorate, I transitioned to a psychology expert, life coach, so that my hands wouldn't be tied behind my back. Because when I was a therapist working for a non-profit under a license the protocol just with the BBS law and you're very familiar with like mental health and therapy there's so many things that you cannot do based on ethics and law that in my opinion it negates and it really takes away from the real therapeutic

experience so for example I had a young lady come in and she had experienced sexual abuse. Her mother was allowing men to pay her to have sex with her daughter at 13, all the way from age 8 to 16. The last time the guy came in, he put her on the burners, the stove burners, and had his way with her. For that young lady thank god that was the last straw for her so she ends up in my office and um we're talking and she's telling me her story and i'm starting to become triggered because it's triggering my sexual abuse past and

so long story short after one of our sessions i get up and she's in tears and she's telling her story and i go to hug her and she's like no story. And I go to hug her, and she's like, no, no, no, don't touch me, because that's not something that she's in a place to handle at that time. No problem. Eight months go by. She's like, she has to then be transferred out. She's like, all right, you know, I wasn't Dr. Bryant, and I was Cheyenne. She's like, Ms. Cheyenne, thank you for everything.

I'm like, okay. And she goes, oh, by the way, I'm ready for that hug. Everything in me, everything in me, DJ Envy, was just like, everything was just like. Yeah. And so not only did I hug her, but I think I broke the BBS laws because I hugged that poor baby. I kissed all over her. Yeah. But you're not supposed to do that.

You're still human. But you're still human. And so my specialty then was marriage, family, and child therapy. So that is my foundation so now that i am a psychology expert life coach i don't i can't get rid of that because i that's my foundation i do psychodontist cbt but i couple it which is my hybrid approach with coaching so it's therapy and coaching which is hybrid and i say this without humility that's why i'm so effective because therapy is tell me more let me hear about your trauma your daddy issues your mom issues why are you who you are and then once you you're finished

dealing with that and you process that okay DJ Envy where the hell you going from there I do have one one other question when it comes to the therapy part aspect I'm sure the world has been watching the Mendes brothers right and I had a question right so the Mendes brothers if you don't know they confessed their crime to the therapist and they believed that the therapist could not tell police officers because it was, I guess, patient client privilege. But they did. So does that mean anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells a therapist can and can possibly be used against them in the court of law? A hundred percent. So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you are threatened to kill yourself and someone else. And it can't just be a threat. It has to be, you have, you actually have like a action plan to do so, right?

You can't just come to me and say, hey doc, look, you know, I want to kill myself. I will help you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say, I got a plan at 9 PM, I'm leaving the house, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z to my wife, then I have a duty to report if I'm subpoenaed to court. I have to speak on that. Now, if I did a crime and I'm

talking to you about the crime because it's eating me up, you're not supposed to tell law enforcement if I already killed somebody, already did the crime already. No. Even if it's a murder? Only unless that therapist is subpoenaed. Oh, got you. So the fact that he was subpoenaed. That's it.

When it comes to subpoenaing in the court and the justice system, their law oversees everything. It just does. When it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's nothing that I can say outside. Can you reach out to the court and say, subpoena me? I need to be subpoenaed. I need to be subpoenaed. I need to be subpoenaed.

I subpoenaed. I personally would never do that just because I believe in following the oath of, and maybe I just love and respect my clients too much. But if you came to me and said something, I'm just not. And I know this is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who come separately and together. And the husband is just lighting it up in his individual sessions. Like, I'm cheating.

I'm intimate with this person and that person. It's family members. It's this. And I'm having to just make sure I process my countertransference because I'm sitting there like, damn, and I have her in one hour. You can't say nothing.

I have her in one hour. God. Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, I'd be like, bitch. But that's still violating the current privilege of marriage.

But you wouldn't take your girlfriend's door, right? Because it's in a... My best friend couldn't be, that's a conflict. She could never come to me as a psychology expert

or anything like that. But then I'd be, I'd be, you know, ripping into him. Talk to me from the human perspective because you're still a real nigga at the end of the day.

I am. So when you hear stuff like that, when you hear the guy come in one hour and he doing X, Y, and Z, then the woman come in the next hour, what is going through your mind about the dude? Charlamagne, my clients are watching this interview. My client's going to be like, that's what you really feel?

But, you know, in my mind, honestly, what I try to do and some of my clients have followed this guidance. I have one client now. He's married, and the wife is attempting to divorce him, and she's divorcing him because he cheated. But she doesn't have any hard facts on him. So I've actually been able to process with him whether you're going to be with this woman or not.

If you want to be with her or you want to be able to leave and do better, at some point you've got to be able to be real with yourself and real with her, and you've got to be with this woman or not, if you want to be with her or you want to be able to leave and do better, at some point, you got to be able to be real with yourself and real with her and you got to be transparent. When do you plan on doing that? So he just literally this week or last week, because this week he told me, Doc, I sat with her and I told her that it's been, you know, a few times that I did cheat. And I said, how does she respond?

He said, she said, now we can have a conversation because now you're keeping it real. And when I had her in session, I said, now we can have a conversation because now you're keeping it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen. Triggered. Triggered, right? Yeah. But I told her, I said, look, you have two options.

I said, either, you know, I can, if you're willing to learn to love a dog, we can start that process. Because, you know, or we can start the process of you leaving and starting over. And she goes, what do you mean by a dog? She said, but we've been together for 10 years. He's never cheated the first time. I said, no, no, baby. I said, he's been quiet for 10 years. He decided to bark on your number 10.

Jesus Christ. So you don't think that he could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore? First of all, nobody changes, including me. We shift, and that changes our life. And when I say we shift shift we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't serve us after we learn they're not working gotcha and then we have to learn to manage those so I am very firecracker when I was younger I was very temperamental I was very you know who the fuck you talking to real quick I just because of my trauma because of

things I just had a very protective by all means necessary I'm the oldest of my trauma, because of things, I just had a very protective, by all means necessary. I'm the oldest of seven. So I was, you know, I light this place up. Is that still in me after all of my healing? Hell yeah. Do I manage it? Absolutely. Managing it just means that I'm high function.

I'm able to regulate my emotions, right? Identify my emotions. Don't get into my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems. And I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry. I'm frustrated. So now let me choose my response. Before I was low functioning. Once I felt it, I was triggered and everybody here was going to know and it was going to be a problem. So does that still come up? Yeah. But do I have self-talk that says we're not doing that?

So you don't think people can change. You just feel like they change. We manage ourselves well. We manage ourselves well. So a man who's a womanizer, he is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his womanizing desires. Can he

manage his environment? Can he be in a room full of women and not womanize and not cheat and not step out and not have infidelity issues? We like what we like. We are who we are. So you would never date a man that cheated before because you feel like he will always be a cheater?

Is that what you're saying? I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that different relationships bring out different things in us. I was also an extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had two engagements, caught up two weddings. My first relationship that I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even if he tried to be alpha, I left no space. It was like, hell no, by all means necessary, because I said, so you can walk. Like I'm chasing my career. I know my value. I'm not fatherless.

I got a daddy. He spoils me. Good day. So even in that, do you feel like that he wasn't man enough for you? Or, like, what was that? Do you think that's your fault? Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man. Not trying to be the man, but I actually, I gave him,

because you just said you gave no room for him to do it. So do you regret that part of it? I think that's a duality. I think he chose a woman who was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta yeah i chose a man who was beta because my alpha needed to be inflamed but my second engagement he was alpha that's why i say it's circumstantial but not only was he alpha i was ready i had these submissive fields in me already so by the time we got in a relationship i was a hybrid by then i was alpha submissive feels in me already. So by the time we got in a relationship, I was a hybrid by then.

I was alpha submissive. So I was cooking. He was daddy. I was soft. I was in my feminine. And the blessing of that is I got to experience both. And I learned that I feel more in love with myself in my softness than he probably did. Like I was doing shit where I'm like, ooh, girl.

I was turned on by me. I was like, Ooh, sis, that's me. That's me right now. Even in the bedroom, things that I was like,

no, I'm not. When I was in my outfit, absolutely not. I was like, can we do that thing again? That thing. I don't want to look at y'all.

Y'all married. Can we do that thing again? Like that thing. I said, I want to do that. Submit more. Submit. Yeah.

You gotta do that too. But also, but right, but also plays a role in, but in the position. What'd I want to do that you said submit yeah I do that too but also but right but also plays a role in but in the position what you doing what's that thing what's that thing

what's that thing nah I'm not gonna when you said that I kept thinking of this story of what it was Gilly telling me the story

about never mind Gilly the King was telling me a story about something that was in Kim Porter book and how did he told Kim Porter

to do that thing and it was getting pegged in the butt. You're right. I just knew it was something good. Something in the butt. I'm not answering the butt question. You don't think men can change though? Like, you know, maturity? Because, you know, a lot of times

Yeah, I'm stuck on that too. You stuck on the butt? What? She's not saying that y'all can't change. Sometimes you're immature and you? She's not saying that y'all can't change. No, I was saying because, you know, sometimes you're immature and you don't know, right? And I think you can grow out of things where you are mature, not just being a womanizer or being insecure. Some of those things you grow out of because you learn differently,

and some of the things that you follow is because of society teaches you other than what you should be doing doing if you understand what I'm saying so when I was a child I thought as a child now that I'm a man I think is that's right that's what the bible says so do I think that we can mature out of things yes but maturity takes work it takes awareness and sense of self so how many of us are really getting that if we're in the same environments the same relationships are we're dating different people with the same spirit? So the same spirit is going to activate the same things in you. You want different.

There has to be a different circumstance, a different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha, and I was receptive to being with an alpha. So that's why I was able to be activated in my feminine. I wouldn't choose a beta now. I'd want an alpha man, but I also hold space for an alpha man. You couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning and be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you. You can pray on a low functioning woman because she holds space,

too much space for a low functioning man who wants to pray on her. But if you were to say, you know what? I want to shift up my ways. You would also have to shift and choose a woman who won't tolerate that because she will hold you accountable when you're in a space that don't work for her. That's right.

Does that make sense? So you can't shift and be in the same environment. It doesn't work like that. Let's say a man is insecure and he's insecure when he's 16, 17, 18, right? Because he doesn't know the world or a man follows the likeness of, for instance, hip hop, right? Because hip hop influences so much of us. And a lot of us were grown from it, you know,

whether it was what we did, what we spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being a womanizer, whatever that may be. Men can change. Men can change. I feel like what you're saying is true, but I feel like I would say shifts lead to actual change. That's what I'm saying. Absolutely. So, right. So I'm not saying, listen, we I feel like I would say shifts lead to actual change. That's what I'm saying.

Absolutely. So I'm not saying, listen, we're not Jesus. We're not turning water to wine. I've said that on the Cam Newton episode, and I stand by that. So you're not going to change. You're not going to switch up and tomorrow be a 6'5", chocolate man. You don't know what to identify as. Listen, I'm self-projected because that's what I'm attracted to, but I'm back.

But can you shift? Shifts will change you, your world. I agree. You don't change. You shift. So what happens is that insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts things in him and his environment changes. And so does he feel his insecurity inflame way less? Absolutely.

But will there be moments where your little boy arises in you because you're triggered? That's life. And when that happens, if it's once a year or once every five years, you have to have the effective tools to manage that little boy

or he will sabotage or he will go cheat. And that's how you say he ain't cheated in 10 years, but he barked on your number 10. I agree with that wholeheartedly. The way it was worded the first time, I was like,

I think men can change, but I get what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, people can shift, and that creates a change. But we don't wake up and we're like, we're totally different. So the interview with Cam and also I saw that you sat down with Nick. How did that, how did, did the firecracker in you be like, I need to sit down with them? How did you get them in the room?

How did you do those two interviews? Did they reach out to you or did you reach out to them? So Nick reached out to me and said, Doc, what's up? Like, I want to work through some things. But I want to work through it on camera. And I said, okay, no problem. But I'm going to penetrate. So we're not doing this on camera.

I know that's right, penetrate. Yo. These crazy words. The things that trigger you is crazy so when you so he like penetration do that little thing you do it's funny because Nick always goes

doc do you have to use that word I'm like yeah I am I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously is broken and that dysfunctional and toxic I'm sorry we childish I'm sorry you need to grow up. You need to grow up too.

Wait, see? You need to grow up too. See, men just don't change. Nope. To your point. She may not be a 12-year-old girl right now. The little boy in there is definitely present. Definitely present.

Sorry. So when he says, all right, I need to work through some things, you're like, okay, on camera. Does that then in your mind say is this for real for real or do you want to appeal to a certain market you know to a certain audience you know what I'm saying because you know we're in the in the times now where everything has to be recorded or it didn't happen or you know that's just how people look or how people feel but what does that make it a little phony to you so because I couldn't find another word other than phony but great observation um I didn't look at it like that

because I look at it like I have a job to do and a purpose to serve so whether we have one camera or 10 you're gonna get this work. And so they may have done it. I'm not saying they did. They may have done it from an entertainment perspective. But as we see, more than entertainment came out of it. Yeah. Because your intention will always be what ends up being the end result for you. And so my intent was to use Nick's situation and shift a whole culture of black men. Same with Cam, and it happened.

There were a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men were actually in there creating the virulence and saying, listen, Doc is right. We need to create more husbands and less baby daddies. Black men were like, I'm 26. I got three kids by three different women, and she's right.

This ain't it, man. We got to do different. That was my intent, and my intent is what manifested so and nick as well cam was resistant but cam had to answer a lot of questions in his household cam had a lot of stuff he had a lot of different conversations he had to have with that woman whether she wants to come out on social media and wear the mask she's been wearing that mask is is off at home yeah cam had to answer questions. That created a lot of conflict.

Conflict is needed for resolve and for shift and change. And so, yeah, entertainment or not, I wanted to make sure that what happened happened, that the conversation is now being had everywhere, that it is time for our community to do things differently. And if you have already created broken houses and homes, you're not doomed, but you need to stop. It's a time to stop. Like, we're not here to create broken houses and now yourself you're projecting your daddy issues and mommy issues as a man onto an

entire generation it has to now grow up to figure out what the hell is the root of their issue and how do they not sabotage and how do they do this thing differently yeah i saw cam say uh cam said that you know um it affected his relationship with his first two baby moms and his current situation. So do you feel any remorse for that? No. Because I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No. Like the shit should have been interrupted a long time ago.

A long time ago, yeah. You know, Cam, and you come from, and not that this breeds, you know, good decision-making people, but Cam comes from, he's a pastor's child. He comes from two parents that are still married and they're still very they're pastors very much involved with the church that goes to show you like the bible said it was good for me that i was afflicted because you got people who come from brokenness this is why i said these kids are not doomed who make different decisions because it's not about where a lot of times it's not where you go and they get you where you where you going it's where you trying to get the hell away from yeah and a lot of times parents

yeah like i i was telling ray j this ray j is my client as well jesus and leave my boy alone i was telling ray i said ray i love your parents and but they showed you everything to do right they didn't show you what not to do and it see for me I had a circumstance an environment that showed me everything not to do right so sometimes knowing what not to do saves you from doing the wrong shit it's not about having a perfect household it's about having a blended balanced household that says listen this is what you can't do to get you this is what you you shouldn't do and when you come from a lot of pastor kids and these folks who come in from these really perfect households or perfect marriages

that have a lot of infidelity, a lot of brokenness in them, these folks, these kids learn how to master life as well. And they learn how to overcompensate for what they're missing in broken houses, in womanizing or manizing ways. And that becomes an issue. And then it just becomes a dysfunctional pattern where they keep creating this. They get comfortable in dysfunction and say, I'm thriving here.

No, you're not. You've learned to survive. And you're teaching everybody else who you are creating or procreating how to survive. Go ahead. I was just going to ask, how do you deal with your other clients if you have Ray J?

Yeah, who do you talk to after you talk to Ray J? Do you have a therapist? I hope you do. I do. Oh, yeah. I have that.

I have wise counsel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a nice group, a nice, really healthy ecosystem of people who are, you know, counselors and coaches and who are not.

And I use them does this like so like with the cam situation is in there like a follow-up conversation with him and like he wants to work through more stuff now off camera because like it i'm sure it triggered a lot for him as well too when those additional conversations had to happen or did he block your number or like is he gonna be like what happens after that we see it in real we see it on on the internet and it goes crazy yeah the baby mom's a girlfriend all theout. There's been recent fallout too with him talking about her, Jazz, not being the only woman that he slept with in a relationship. So there's things coming out now.

Does he hit you up and say, hey, I want to do some more work. I want to have a conversation or he's like, nah. He hasn't hit me up to say yes, but he's definitely not like, nah. Okay. But who I would love to have a conversation with, whether it's on camera or not, not just to more support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling or going through is jazz.

Yeah. I would love to have a conversation with jazz, even if it's a private session. I think that she needs tools on how to be in this relationship if she's going to stay. And if she chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with her

or having a session with her to get her to change her mind. It's about getting her to feel supported and showing compassion and trying to figure out where she wants to navigate from here. And see, that's the thing because I don't know if you saw months ago or this may have been before she was pregnant. I saw this. She's happy with everything that's going on, how she's okay with that. So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay, I'm all in,

I'm abiding by every rule that you have, then what the hell are you going to talk to her about? You know what I'm saying? Because even as a woman watching that right I didn't know who she was with yet until it came out and then I was like oh damn alright so that's how you feel about him and that's my mans and that's my girl

but I'm just like damn how strong the strongest back that I've ever I give my head off to her for dealing with that whole dynamic but what can head off to her for dealing with that whole dynamic. But what can you say to her that'll change how happy she is with this? I think it's helping her come to herself.

And I think that Jazz got herself into something that, one, she didn't understand that she was getting herself into. And I think she would love to backpedal if she could. But where do you go from here? You have a child. A lot of women, especially black women, stay because they don't want to be a product of a broken house. Yeah. And they don't want to be a single mom.

Who wants to be a statistic? Who wants to be that? Right? And so for her, I understand why she would want to stay to make it work um but i also would understand why she wants to leave to do it right yeah and it's not because he has kids it's because this man is not honoring you yeah he's disrespecting you and he's not only doing it uh privately he's doing it. He's not even allowing it to be pillow talk, you know? So it's like, and that's what I mean by the epitome of a high valued man

in the most low functioning functionality you can have. Like you have no respect at all for this woman who you not only have a child with, but you are in a relationship with. You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You have a woman at home. You're sleeping with other women publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how. All you're doing is self-projecting your brokenness and your pain on this woman and all of these eight kids and these three other women. You are procreating broken houses. And let me go further.

He also has a broken home with her because a broken house and a broken home are two different things. So you have both. A broken house is just a single family home. It could be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners, it could be one partner in the house. That means just there's one person. A broken home is you got a two-party household. The home is so impaired it can't even function at a level of healthiness. Cam has both. And he knows that. And he's trying to figure out how he front, back, side pedal. But this is the deal. You know, and I said this to him jokingly, and I wasn't pun intended,

but it was, like I told him, I said, I said, Cam, before we did the event, I said, Cam, you about to throw picks this entire interview. Just like you did when you was playing. I said, you took him to the Super Bowl, but you couldn't get the ring and he just looked and he said no but to backtrack real quick cam reached out to me i wouldn't pay you if you told me that before the interview yeah that's brutal like i'm leaving i'm like but but but did i did i catch the pics or not from what i saw yeah right and so but my point is Cam reached out to me because ego. He's seen me in Nick Cannon's interview, and he said Nick was too soft.

Do my interview. It's not going to be that same smoke. And so I said, sign me up when? I'll fly out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that. I said, 100%. I'm ready. And so when it happened, I think Cam's edge was to throw me off and to see if he can challenge me and more dominate the conversation.

My intent was to bring healing and awareness. And he got that. Do you ever tell women to leave when you're dealing, when you're talking to women or men? Do you ever tell them to leave? Because I know a lot of times therapists won't tell somebody to leave. And if somebody is still in a relationship, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's a womanizer, whether it's something that's negative, do you feel like if a woman stays, she's weak?

I don't think she's weak. I think she has a lot of underlining issues that need to be processed. And I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are. And what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues. And she's staying because she needs those to be fed. And if she leaves, what's fed if she doesn't have any awareness of her healthiness?

See, what we know is what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and we go and feed on things that we have awareness of, which is a lot of times our trauma, our dysfunction, or our survival mechanism. And so I never tell them to leave, but I do help them either say this is what the work is going to take to stay and this is what it looks like for you to leave. What do you want to do? So you don't feel like if a man stays, a woman stays, they are weak, whatever their relationship. You don't feel that way.

You feel like people can get through certain things, whether it's whatever their relationship. You don't feel that way. You feel like people can get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse, whether it's cheating, whether it's whatever it may be. I think that people can get through it if they're willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has to be dissolved. Sometimes it can be recreated and reinvented if two people are open to that. And I say that because, you know, I'm not married yet. I look forward to that and I say that because you know I'm not

married yet I look forward to being married and being a mother but I'm not divorcing my husband and so it very well could be where you know shoot the social media hopefully not goes off on doc one day and says hey what you was preaching what's up what you doing now hopefully not but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband that's right what say? What do you say to people that say, you know, how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples when you're not married? That was what do you say to those people? I love that. I say that I don't want to hear you been together 15 years and miserable 13. I would take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful, meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value, than someone who is miserable in their marriage with a side dude and a side chick, and you want to give me the advice that you give yourself that you use in your failed marriage?

I'll pass. And it's going to be bitter. I'll pass. I'll pass. And what happens is married people like to shun on single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people. Look that up. Look that up. It says marriage takes discipline.

No, it says marriage takes discipline no it says marriage takes discipline because a lot of times they say that you reach out to older couples that's been married longer because

they'll tell you how to deal with the marriage than people you know like some people say don't hang out with your single friends

you talk to married couples that's been in that situation long and you know why that's true because folks that have been married 10, 15, 20 years

they've been through the trenches so they're not going to teach you how to be happy we got that single sis we got that And you know why that's true? Because folks have been married 10, 50, 20 years. They've been through the trenches. So they're not going to teach you how to be happy. We got that single, sis. We got that. I've had that all my life. They're going to teach you how to get through the times when you ain't happy.

Y'all married. You know that. Let's not play this game. You married. You know that. You got, of course, I think marriage is beautiful. It's popping. It's where everybody wants to land.

Why would you not want a partnership and a companion, your go-to but that shit comes with work the bible says marriage is for disciplined people discipline i'm single i don't have to be disciplined even though i am i don't have to be in that space you think people get married too early i think people choose the wrong people i think people choose their fairytale ideology they're not choosing the person see people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage, you get the title, you get the looks of it, but you're

not getting a person. So you're a beautiful house who's homeless. They like the idea of the idea. And those are people who are fatherless, sometimes motherless, who just need something to be a part of i just need this companionship i want the title i don't feel value i don't feel validated so because we're married i got somebody who's checking for me i got somebody who can give

me through the day but you got to be able to check even in marriage i was engaged for 10 years you know because i kept calling it off calling off and he was like you keep getting these degrees you keep saying wait for the next degree, we'll get married. By the time I went and got my doctorate, he was like, baby, you done got four degrees. I ain't waiting no more. Engaged for 10 years. I kept putting it off because I knew that that wasn't my person.

I was going to say, I left your ass. You said you knew he wasn't your person? And I end up leaving him, you know, unfortunate for him. Are you strung him along for 10 years? 10 years? Angie said he was a great guy. Great guy. He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right? And so years? 10 years? Angie said he was a great guy. Great guy. He was a great guy.

He just wasn't my guy, right? And so. For 10 years, he thought he was the guy. So you strung him alone for 10 years. Why you ain't let him

go be great with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him? Y'all know how about to jump on me. She ain't want her in scale.

All right. Let me say this. I love that question. I love that question. So I'm not saying for 10 years, I knew he wasn't the one. When we got about

year number five or six and I seen that, his work ethic and his ability to provide at the level that I wanted our family to be at, I knew that he wasn't my guy. And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like, he was making six figures and I was like, no, make millions. I'm saying his thing was, baby, I'm cool with me, you, a dog, in a one bedroom apartment and just no work ethic at all. So for the first six years, I thought, well, I'm saying his thing was baby I'm cool with me you a dog in a one-bedroom apartment

and just no work ethic at all so for the first six years I thought well I'm out here getting it I have a legal company you know I own property I'm only 22 I'm getting all these college degrees how can he not be inspired by me see that's that age-appropriate young woman he got potential let me stay that's why people should take their time but when I seen you number seven and eight this guy was the same guy who was, you know, I hate talking, because he's such a good guy. I always protect him when I talk about him, but where he was lazy and he had no work ethic,

I had a pivot. I had a pivot. He didn't have the work ethic that you wanted, because he worked, right? But he just didn't. He was comfortable. He was comfortable. Your ideas were different. At some point, he just decided to not work at all. He rapped. No, he wasn't a rapper. Not Jesse.

He had a mix tape. He started off in pharmaceutical sales, a very educated young man. Went to BYU, D1 College, did his thing. Very much like the boy next door, mixed kid. And so it was all really good. It came from a really amazing family. Parents still married. I think they're on like 45 years. just wanted more i wanted more and if he would have said we can have more and grow i

would have rode with him but when he said i don't want anymore and i'm cool with this it goes to your question then i had to choose what i was choosing i was choosing a man i wasn't choosing marriage i didn't grow up the little girl that wanted marriage in this white picket fence. I wanted, just to be honest, I wanted money and power to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted a platform to be able to shift people so they have a better life,

so they can take their pain like I did and find some pieces out of it and make peace from their broken pieces. So I never grew up thinking, and I also had a father. I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a of a street dude and if anyone knows a street dude the way they love their daughters when they're involved your God your God is to them your princess yeah I mean I didn't have man problems like that and so I didn't

wasn't looking for a man outside to come validate me so when I get in relationships till to this day I'm still choosing the man did he acquire more in the future no he's still in the same place so i made the right decision what was the conversation that last conversation y'all had when you decided to leave him and how did he react you can have the dog that's what you said oh my god keep the dog don't keep the dog no he he was in tears and i was in tears. We were sitting there crying. And he said, he said, I knew it. I was a buffer for you. He said, I was a buffer for you. He said, I just knew it.

And he said, you're with me because you're too insecure to be with who you really want to be with. The type of guy, not a particular guy, but type of guy. Was he right? Was he right? 100% right. I said, you're right. You're right. I said, you're right. You're right. And as years went on, that was some of the best advice that I was able to acquire because I was able to work on myself. And he was right because the type of man that I now date with that alphaness, with that leadership, the space that he needs so he can even be with me, right, is a different type of space, a different type of woman.

So I had to shift, not change, shift a lot of things in me that had to do with insecurity. Because my mom being in her addiction, creating abandonment in me, I had attachment anxiety. And so in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful, and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man is moving and grooving. He's doing certain things. He don't have time for a woman with no damn attachment anxiety meaning when he's making moves to better this household when he's making moves to bear this family i gotta be able to be solid and vertical in myself and who i am i hold the house down i can't be insecure when he's traveling or doing things or when he's not

right up under me i had to work through that attachment anxiety i got a couple of questions right like one one i want to know what is your definition of a high value man that's number one and then two what you said about attachment anxiety is it okay for the woman to feel insecure if she knows this man ain't really out here doing business he out here really that's called discernment call him out on that

I mean transparency what's up I'm feeling some type of way what's going on what are you doing I'm feeling this way and I just think two respectful people who are choosing each other and not What's up? I'm feeling some type of way. What's going on? What are you doing? I'm feeling this way. And I just think two respectful people who are choosing each other and not just the relationship are going to have those conversations. And that's what those older couples who've been married 20, 30 years is teaching you how you have those conversations. And baby, when your man tell you he out here turning corners, he not really turning bills. How do you stick to that? How do you stay without losing your dignity? How do you still be

to submit to this man cooking and cleaning and having sex making love to this man without being disgusted at the fact that he's either stepped out emotionally physically or mentally how do you keep that how do you keep going i was gonna that was gonna be my that's what the older folks say they don't tell you how to be happy envy they're telling you how to roll through and stick through some shit that's what they teaching you. Well, my grandpa was like, leave that bitch. You don't want to tell my brother that.

Because he, that's how I be, like back in the day. And he was still with, you know, my grandmother, but he just still was just like, man, like leave that bitch now because I would have left

this bitch back in the day. But then you wouldn't have had me. I've been grandpa because I've been leaving. But now I say I'm in my choosing stage and I'm really looking forward to staying. But it will be my first time utilizing a lot of my new tools. Not new meaning a year ago, but new because I've been single six years of this attachment anxiety I've had to work through of what that looks like. So there's going to be things in me that are new that inflame and and trigger, that I'm going to have to have a hell of a man

who's mature enough, emotionally intelligent enough to sit through certain conversations with me that are going to be transparent. So what is a high-value man? Because I heard you reference Cam as a high-value man with a low-value, I guess, just a low vibration. Low functioning. Low functioning.

Very low functioning. So what is your definition of high-value? Because to me it just sounds like high-value to you is like superficial stuff. High-value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much like you're making a lot of money. You have a lot of tangible things. You're high value. Your value is high.

Your value is high and your monetary value is high. Meaning, you know, you got a man who's making $100 million. Then he's high valued in women who are superficial. But I'm not knocking y'all, sis, okay? Are very attracted to that. But again, are they choosing the man or are they choosing the value? The value. But some people are so poor, all they got is money.

You know what I mean? And that goes to where this is going to be a very, very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's going to cause a lot of controversy. I always say if you realize the most prettiest, beautiful women, many of them, men have put a baby in him, but ain't made a wife out of him. And I go to the high value men have put babies in him,

but ain't made a wife out of him because those women are choosing the value in them. And those men are choosing the low functionality in her. So that's a match made in heaven for them. Even though the fairyt tale ends at some point and everybody goes back to the drawing board and comes into my session and says, because I can't name them.

I have some very, very A-list celebrity women who come in and say, I'm beautiful, I'm successful, I can have any man I want. I'm lonely as hell. And I'm afraid that I'm going to die alone. But you have a child. You've been married to this A-list, A-list, big NBA player. And the relationship

is now over. And you feel like you're going to be alone? Because you never learned to choose anything of substance. So you were hollow the whole time. So you're not afraid of being alone physically. You're afraid of being alone emotionally. Because you've been alone this

whole time. So you don't even have a relationship with yourself. So who you really don't want to be with is you. Because being alone is about being with you. So why should we call those brothers high value then? Because value, based on how I define it, is just money. Like I'm a high valued woman, right? I have a multi-million dollar home.

I come from the hood. I went from the hood to the hills. But I've accumulated a lot of value right i drive luxury cars i have a certain lifestyle but i would be low functioning if i prayed on men that i know i can use if i prayed on men that i know i can say eat sleep and put me and shut up or i go run amok be in your beta because i said so that's low functioning of me. High value and high functioning would be, now I want a man who can stand on, he's vertical.

Because every human being is a hybrid. We're all high functioning and low functioning. So there's going to be moments where I get in my low functioning. And if I get in my low functioning and I start to say things that are emasculating to you, I don't want a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby, I don't talk to you like that. And I don't like when you functioning man I want you to say baby I don't talk to you like that and I don't like when you talk to me like that I'm not going to leave you but we got to work on this because I'm not some nothing ass

nigga you know and I love you and I respect you so let's work through this what if you got a high value man he got all the money he might even be an alpha but big little and he trash in bed so then what I'm just saying you ain't going to let him talk with the big little and he trash in bed. So then what?

I'm just saying because you can't do it. Because then what? Because you ain't gonna let him talk to you in your kind of way? What? Stop that. Listen.

You ain't gonna let him talk to you in your kind of way. That's what I'm saying. He can be the outfielder. I know you ain't let him talk to you in any kind of way. That might go crazy. Hey, yo.

If I had to choose between a little pito, okay, in my Spanish speaking language a little pito, okay, in my Spanish-speaking language, little pito, little penis, and a family hell of a good man, give me the little dick and a good man. Because remember, I'm choosing the man. I'm not choosing these ornaments. And I know, and I'm, this is the thing, men don't understand this. A woman just needs a big dick when she

don't know how to truly love and connect with you once we love you and connect with you we love and when we love we love especially black women when we love we love yeah we're figuring out how to work with that little thing you got fingers and mouth you got toys like we when we love you

we love you and we figure out how to make it do what it do. You got women who are with men who got little penises and pay no bills because she love him. Now that's not doc approved, but that's not doc approved. But so for me, I don't want, I'm not manifesting God, the little pizza type thing, but I'm saying, you know, if, if it, yeah. And this is, this is probably gonna be TMI, but I always joke with my, with my best friend,

uh, Lola and my assistant, I always say, say girl i'm not the woman who needs a big old penis me either wait a minute jess but i said why do god always send me the men What the fuck was that? Something you ain't never seen. Go here. What the fuck? I said like this. It's unfamiliar to you. What the fuck? It's unfamiliar to you. Lauren, we don't know what you're talking about. I'm not familiar. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. And I got to be inclusive. But I want to ask you about some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey Holcomb said some things about you, about not having your degree and where you started off as, I guess, working in a strip club.

Is any of that stuff true? You said you're not a real doctor. You said, yeah, you're not a real doctor. No. So I have four degrees. Three are in psychology. One's in Pan-African studies. My doctorate degree is in counseling psychology.

My master's is in marriage and child therapy. All degrees are in psychology. Where this Corey Holcomb thing comes from is we did, I was on a show 10 years ago when I actually, I think it was before I even had my doctorate degree. And Corey is used to being able to be very disrespectful to women and do this thing. He was on a show with him or just, he was a guest on a show.

I was co-hosting. He was a guest. And I drilled his ass. Be honest. It's on YouTube. People could, you know, look at it.

And I cut into him and I said, you seem like you are inferior to white men. You seem like you got daddy issues. And you seem like you got mommy issues. And you got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you. They don't like you. It tells a lot about your character. Now, this was 10 years ago. And obviously he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it.

Interviews are interviews. You say them, you do them, when you move on to the next and so uh was very upset and i and i felt like in that in that space he was y'all could watch it he was dumbfounded like usually he comes back with the you know fub or he has something to say or he's you know he got a mouth he was really just like uh you know a deer with headlights he was just like oh my god the the the interview per the person podcast was on everybody else was in there was He was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights. He was just like, oh, my God. The interview, the person podcast was on. Everybody else was in it was like, we've never seen Corey be this quiet.

We've never seen anybody be able to respectfully check him in this way. After we were done with the interview, we went to take a big picture on the backsplash. And I walked up toward him. You know my personality. I'm very playful. I walked up. I'm like, let's take a picture. He wasn't feeling the picture.

Ten years later, I think he looked at it with his failed comedian career, because he's been attempting this career for about 45 or so years with his failed comedian career, his failed marriage, and I'm not saying this to be mean. Y'all can just research it. It's true. And his failed parenting skills with his kids, because none of those people deal with him. I think he looked at it like,

I get to kill two birds with one stone, which was smart. I get to humili two birds with one stone which was smart i get to humiliate her back in some kind of way which it didn't work and or i get to ride on her back because she's going viral i don't have a career i do he doesn't have a career so he's got a good comedy career he does stand up he just stays in 51 50 of the big podcast and he does stand up wait what what what thank you we back she got a good career but anyways we back so um the point is i think that he did and i at this part i'm not knocking him for it he did what any to me career oriented business person was supposed to do i see an opportunity

let me take it let me create a narrative but what happened was all it did was bring more attention to damn dr bryant so all people did was research me more, which is what I wanted them to do. All people did was find out for themselves. She is a real doctor. She has these degrees. She's been doing this for a long time. This woman started off from teen mom,

a family reunion, which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not only was the on camera life coach doctor for that show, she co-produced it and developed the show. So what happened was he brought attention to where people were able to go in and do what I want them to do, which was research more of me, get more background on me, and say, hey, let me make my own opinion about her. And again, you know, as my really good friend Shaquille O'Neal says,

which is one of my, you know, we've become pretty much like best friends now, he's like, Doc, he's like, you know, he says know he says i hate when he says it but i love he goes doc trust fund babies don't give attention to the ones who have nothing he goes so let the good and bad attention attention do what it does for you let it do what it does and i'm not a trust fund baby but what shock is saying is when you hear and they hear, all it does is magnify you. Right? The small dog has to stay in the small dog park.

They're just not allowed in the big dog park. The big dogs can go to the small dog park and we dominate either way. Would you have a conversation with Corey now? Like would you go on 5150 or have him on Truth Talks or something? I would not. Only because Corey's, and I'm only talking about this on here, because when I did Nick and other interviews and other places I've interviewed with, who are also, you know, as big as Breakfast Club. Well, who's bigger than Breakfast Club, though? Y'all pop it. But I also told him, I said, I'm not going to address him, period. I don't want to bring any attention to him or give him the fume that he needs. Because again, Charlamagne, I hear what you're saying, but he has a total failed career, a total failed,

total failed career as a comedian. Is he funny? There are some things he says, yes, that are funny. Has he made it to any place past a podcast of a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people in general, especially women. Kevin Samuels spent only two years doing what Corey does and had a better career than Corey. Corey had been doing it for 40, 50 years. He was at improv in LA and can't even get a job there.

So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities. That goes to his lack of character. Nobody wanting to work with you. You have gifts and you have professionalism. You got to have both to make it. Corey is just a broken person, period. And I do feel like you'll need help. He needs help.

Corey needs off-camera. If Corey came to me and said, Doc, let's do off-camera sessions, 100%, 100%. If he wants to do it on camera because it's just going to be a rhetoric, I'm not doing that to help his career I will help him as a man but I'm not here to help him in his career that's his job I'm not here to carry a man that ain't mine or float a man that ain't mine but to help you with your mental health or help you as a person he's an alcoholic he drinks a lot you know

he's he's overcompensating those. Those are places he needs help with. Did you guys see what he looked like on Cam Newton interview? I'm not talking about looks meaning attractiveness. Do you see how unwell, hygienically clean he looks? God damn it. All right, Dr. Bryant. Let me say what. This ties into mental health. You know

this. She's an assassin. I mean, the chopper is out. But does this not tie into mental health? you run you run you ran actually an amazing organized mental wealth expo thank you it was thank i was so honored and privileged to be there it was amazing but i want to say thank you that we know that keeping up your hygiene is one of the number one symptoms of depression the number one way you're able to see that somebody's depressed or in their addiction or overcompensating

in addictive behaviors is how they keep themselves up. That's how parents can look at their kids and be like, you're not bathing? Your hygiene is not up to par? What's going on? That man's hygiene was on negative 200. What I'm saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on 5150

to bring him a bigger audience. He can still do 5150, but he needs to be able to 5150 himself and get the help that he needs. Lord have mercy. That's right. Doc was talking, you were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong environment and you learn what not to do.

And I think that is difficult for a lot of parents, right? Because, like I always say, my father raised me out of fear and not love because he didn't want me to make the same mistakes that he made growing up in the same environment, right? So what would you say to parents who are navigating that, like who have kids, you know they're in the same environment that you grew up in and you want them to get out of it, but you weren't even able to navigate through it yourself. Yeah, I think that, again, seeking wise counsel.

I think that therapy, coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be something that someone does for preventative or intervention measures. And I think that parents need to just be 100 and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen, this is my first time doing you, raising you, knowing you. I've never known a 15-year-old you. So I don't know what to do here. You know what I mean? Let's sit down and dialogue.

Can you use some of your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources at your school? Help me help you. Let's do this. I think the transparency of it is what allows kids to be vertical in who they are. I think the transparency of it is what allows kids to be vertical and who they are I think that handing them everything problem solving for them and doing everything for them especially men it handicaps y'all so when you have to be the head you now have a mother who

taught you how to be the neck and then you want to be mad at a woman who comes in and she has to be in her alpha because who the hell gonna be the head to this thing so i think it's about transparency i think parents got to stop having this mommy daddy guilt and stop feeling like they have to be this perfect parent i think your kids seeing your vulnerability and your imperfections will actually aid them in ways more than them seeing your perfection you think kids are too soft i think parents are too soft and kids are too soft these days yeah the bible says an undisciplined child is an unloved soft i think parents are too soft and kids are too soft these days yeah the bible says undisciplined child's an unloved child i think kids are feeling unloved because they're not being disciplined what what is too soft for you now and the reason i ask is is like charlamagne said

you know there were certain things i mean my kids can't do it anyway but there were certain things that you can do and you couldn't do right and. And I run the household the same way. Right. But if you look at these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer, a lot weaker, cry faster. You hear depression. You hear a lot of triggering words that I don't even think that they know what they're saying. They just see it because they see it on TV or they heard somebody say it online. But also people will say that the reason that these kids are like that because parents can't parent anymore because if they yell at their child, if they pop a child or if they do anything that their parents did to them except abuse

they will be told on to the school and CPS will be at their door. So listen, my grandmother whooped my ass and I called the police. While I was down nine she put one and one and told them when they got there I whoop my ass and I called the police. While I was down nine, she put one and one and told them when they got there, I whooped her ass.

If you take me to jail, I'm going to come home and I'm going to beat her ass again. So whatever you're going to do, let's do it. And I would never take away her discipline. That's how I know she loves, you know how, first of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the oldest of seven. I got about nine nieces and nephews.

Do you know how much energy it takes? Well, y'all have kids to discipline a child, to watch them, to see when they're doing right or wrong. Oh, I know. The love part is the time it takes to even watch to see what I'm doing, to discipline me. So a lot of parents, to me,

the gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting. That means I'm not in the mood to parent. I got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure my life out or I'm a single parent. I'm trying to date or I'm trying to get a sense of self. So I don't even have time or energy to deal with disciplining you. I think that's more of what it's about. And no, it does not work.

These kids have no guidance. They're a very lost generation. I mean, I'm going to go there. You look at the campaign this year. You know, all due respect to says Kamala, she threw a concert and I like Meg and I like I love Glorilla. She threw a concert with Meg and Glorilla, thinking that that was going to move and influence our community to vote for her. You think that we're that low functioning, that you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us for us to choose you based on leadership, that we're going to choose you based on who's dropping it like it's hot or

who's bringing in a concert. I agree with that. I said that, you know, I would have rather just had Megan up there talking about women's rights and women's reproductive rights. The way, the way Cardi,

what Cardi do is fantastic. But Cardi been talking politics for years. Gina just run for office. Cardi will come on there with no wig, hair everywhere. And really know

what she's talking about. And be like, listen here, all this shit fucked up. And then we'll run a whole bill that she could just author and try to pull into legislation. So what I'm saying is

this whole election showed you the level of where our kids. So what I'm saying is this whole election showed you the level of where our kids are. And I'm like, really? But it also showed you it didn't work. It didn't work. I saw you said, too, that you comment on the fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when she didn't win.

Speak to that and speak to the comment because people were upset about... Oh, yeah. Another unpopular opinion. I don't care. This is... She proved why the people men and women who are not ready for a woman president are not ready for a woman president because society and some men not all deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions. Sis, when you knew you weren't winning or weren't in the lead, and these kids, these babies, these adults were at a historical black university

that you went to, Howard, waiting hours for you. They had volunteered, I'm sure. They had contributed, and they probably voted for you and supported you this entire time. You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you? That's proven to the people who don't believe women could lead at that level that a woman can't regulate her emotions enough to come out and take an L I don't care she would have came out in tears listen I'm sorry we lost whatever that looks like and this husband yeah listen I'll give a little push back on that because Donald Trump never gave a concession speech

nor would he even admit that he lost I'm not in support of Donald Trump but Donald Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded he also stood ten toes down and said y'all, which I'm not saying I agree with this y'all rigged it, I won

I'm not conceding he still got the keys to the White House. But he didn't come to his people either. When that night, he never came out. What night? When he lost to Joe Biden. He never came out that night. That's what I just said.

No, but she said he didn't concede. That's literally what I just said. But he didn't come out at all to speak to his people at all. That's what I just said. But we're talking about Trump who runs on being that type of person. So his people never expected that. Just like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist So his people never expected that. Just like when someone says,

well, Trump's a racist. He's running on that. Trump is talking about getting rid of DEI. He has said that to us. I get what you're saying. But Kamala came out and showed us all this love and support. After she said, I can't do just something for the black community,

but the day that I get into office, I'm going to sign my very first bill that's called immigrant reform. That's doing something for a group of people. Now, I'm black and Hispanic, so I ain't got a problem against immigrants. But what I'm saying is if you can't do something for one group of people, my love, that's one group of people. Now, let me move forward. But when you took the L, let me add to that.

Not only did you not come out, you sent a man to come out and address these people. Cedric Ridge. He was fine too. You sent a man. I don't know if he married, but that man was handsome. You sent a man to come out and address the people. You didn't even send another woman or black woman.

This was a woman's moment and that's what you made it black and women you sent a man to do a woman's job and in my opinion that all that did was tell the folks who said women can't lead see she sent a man out to do it and then came out the next day and said, okay, I'm going to have this. That's not leadership to me. Leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what you said you would do regardless of how you feel. I don't care how you felt. Kamala, come out and address us.

Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad just because she lost. They were sad because they were looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost or not, to come out and address those kids.'s wrong that's just out of pocket that's not leadership and you got to have a backbone so i mean either i still supported her i voted for her um but i didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning but i was rooting for her i wanted sis to show different yeah but when she didn't show up for that, I said,

this is it. Who knows, maybe I'll run in four years and I'll run black and woman and I'll run all these ways that I'm, you know, very lovingly criticizing Kamala for.

And maybe when I win, you know, y'all will say, well, of course you came out, doc, because you won. He is married too.

I looked it up for you, sis. Did you know Nipsey? Personally? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Okay. We grew up in L.A. Everyone in L.A.

And that's how, you know, in L.A. we know each other, yeah. Especially in the 80s. We're all 80s kids. I was going to ask, when's the last time you apologized or last time you were wrong about something? Do you remember? Good question. No. Probably was 1984 no it probably was to to my best friend lola and my assistant we we work

so closely together we're always together and um because i'm so comfortable with her she gets all of my moving parts right so she gets like the really good me she gets like the bratty me she gets the what the fuck are you doing you're moving too slow me you know she gets like the really good me she gets like the bratty me she gets the what the fuck are you doing you're moving too slow me you know she gets the thank you me and then she gets to like you know i'm sorry you're right that was a little brash or you know so probably her to be honest with you what about this to a man that you're dating he ain't never get an apology i actually don't because you you you are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And I think men think that women that are structured like you don't know how to be accountable and don't know how to apologize.

I'm very accountable. I do apologize. That's why I said I want a man who will say with respect. And he ain't about to just dominate, like, shut your ass up. You know, he can be disrespectful. But I want a man who's like, hold on, you out of pocket right now. You know, like, we don't do that yeah this is not what we do and I like you strong but this is not strong this is disrespectful baby but I want him to be able to know how to say it and then I will be like you know even if it's not in that moment I can process

and be like you know what you're right and I do I will apologize I will come to myself because I have the discipline of that self-talk of saying stop you know or I will apologize I will come to myself because I have the discipline of that self-talk of saying stop you know or I will say listen you've already apologized you've done everything you could right now it's not a you problem I'm still trying to get out of my ego so just give me 30 minutes because baby you've apologized like you've done your job and then I come around in 20-30 minutes and I'm like okay okay, I'm back. And I'm sorry too. That's awareness. That's accountability. And the thing is, when you really want peace, and that's the thing

about being single for so long though, you find a peace and a joy that when you do get in a relationship, it gotta make sense. And when you do get in a relationship though, you're really saying, let's deaden this argument. Because see, I'm so used to being happy because it's just me, that I just want to get to the cuddle part again i just want to get to the

happy part again so what do we need to do just to be good and people who are so used to being in relationships with this circle dysfunction of argument they leave that marriage and do the same thing that's real have you ever got afraid that you're going to get so used to that piece that you're not going to want to do nothing? Because I tell myself that all the time. Like, I'm in such a good state. I don't want nothing to bother me. But people come and floor. Shut up, Charlamagne.

He's a hater. He's a hater. Well, no, because I have been serial dating for the six years I've been single. So when I say single, it means I haven't been committed. But have I had, like, three-month, six-month relationships that went that long season and were exclusive and were committed in that season yeah because i i'm very into exclusivity i i don't like casual sex and so i will accidentally go a year year and a half celibate because i don't like the casualty of sex you know what i mean and so yeah no so i'm dating like i mean like i have someone that i spend time with now that i will go on dates with we're not committed so i'm still single right but

i'm a woman who i i'm'm going to have a companion around. I love companionship and I love a man's energy. That testosterone, that alpha energy is recharging for me. And it's not something that I would just say like, oh, I could do without. No, I want it. I love it. And so I keep around what I want. And when I decide to, I would choose that one person to be around for the long term.

Well, when does that decision happen for you? Now, I'm in my choosing stage. So it's going to happen now, like soon? I'm in my choosing stage. But I'm not desperate. So it's not like, again, I'm not choosing just a high-valued man. I will even take a man who's a little less value, meaning a little less income money. But I just love this man.

He's my person. So you would take the bus driver? I don't. Well, only no, because he's away from me for too long. Yeah. And he's coming home with money that's not worth the value of the time I'm not getting with you. What if he's a good man? I guess that's why I'm confused about what the high value man thing is.

I'm like, I understand he got the bank. But what if he's just got a poor spirit? What if he got poor character? What if he got a poor character? What if he's not willing to do the work on himself? That's why I'll take a little less value in higher functioning. Like, I don't want high value, low functioning. I'll take a little less value. Right?

Because I do well on my own. Am I going to take care of a man? No. Am I going to spoil the hell out of him? Hell yeah. But I'm not going to take care of you. But will I go, will I take you on a trip because you mine? Yeah.

Would I buy you a brand new car when you come home and this is the Lambo you wanted? Hell yeah. But are you going to be a man who is not submitting to me either or can't be in your alpha or you ain't paying no bills or you're not respecting me, you're not coming to support my shows, you're not on my speaking tour? No, I'm not doing it with a man who's not doing those things.

But do I need you to just take full care of me and then I still got my hand out no I'm submitting to you you'll have in-house love and I'm not going to deny that whatever I got to do I got you I did that in relationships and that's why the men I've been with are the men I've dated also have always wanted to marry me because I'm a good woman I treat them good I'm loving but also because I'm not choosing a man just for their value i want you to have money i want to go to maldise i want a trip i want you to buy me a birkin not because i want a birkin it's because i want it from you right and so the birkin or the louis or whatever the hell coming from you is what i place value in and that's what makes me love the

bag that's what makes me love the iphone because you bought the iphone for me right yeah right so yeah yeah i mean he can yeah so i would and i would regular have a rather have a regular man who um isn't in the limelight who we both don't have to straddle this this whole industry thing and he can go run a business or go be a corporate guy he can come to my shows and we can go home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can go home and put my hair in a bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank top and no bra. You don't know what a bird's nest is? No, I definitely know what it is.

Oh wait, he just, uh-uh. You know what? So, you got the show Truth Talks. I do. Truth Talks, yes, yes, yes. Before we get out of here, please talk to us. Truth Talks. Yes, yes, yes. Talk to us about that before we get out of here. Please talk to us. Oh, my God. So Truth Talks is my new talk show.

It's on Fox. It's Monday through Friday at 8 p.m. Congratulations. Why would somebody give you a talk show? Are you good at talking to someone? No. Not at all. Not at all.

It's funny. Sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the other co-hosts time to talk. I'm like, really? I'm like, I got to do that? Yeah. But it's cool because we're pretty much, we're a global news,

we're a CNN that gives you the black voice, the black perspective and we're bringing truth to everything news with culture twist to it. So we're every night, 8 p.m.

Prime time. Love that. I appreciate you joining us. Cheyenne. Follow me on underscore Dr. Brian on Instagram, social media or you can go to drbryant.co, and that's drbryant.co, not.com. And then I'm on my speaking tour.

So every weekend, I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation, but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every weekend, go to my website on my social media, you'll see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of this year, but I also have my own speaking tour in Chicago. We got Atlanta. We got LA. We got London. We got Canada. We have Iowa. We got London. We got Canada.

We have Iowa. I'm like, y'all like black people in Iowa, right? That's how I be when I be on my comedy show. Who is in Wisconsin? Even if there's two people in Iowa who are black whose lives I can shift or change, the doc is on her way. The doc is on her way. We gonna do it.

That's Dr. Shalane Bryant. We appreciate you for joining us. Thank you, Dr. Bryant. I am. Thank y'all for having us. But no, Shalane, seriously, thank you for being such an advocate for this whole mental health. It's not an event. You have a mental health movement going on. When I came there, people, I mean, to see black people,

black men with like mental health for black people, black men for mental health, and mental health is life's change. They had like merch with everything mental health, black, and even though it's for all races and our ages um your panelists there were just giving incredible information people were sitting there intrigued entertained but more than that people were leaving with gems that they were really like yo this event is powerful thank you i'm glad we could have you there so thank you for having that no i needed you there like when we that you were like top of the list i'm like dr brian got to be there thank you. I'm glad we could have you there. So thank you for having that. I needed you there. You were like top of the list. I'm like, Dr. Brian got to be there.

Thank you. So I'm happy that we could make that happen. Thank you so much. Thank y'all for having me. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. Thank you. Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.