The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Elliott Connie Talks Mental Health, Social Media, Protecting Your Peace, Working With Fredo Bang

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

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Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha Guy. We are The Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed. Because May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Ladies and gentlemen, friends to the room, of course, we have Elliot Connie here. Welcome. Welcome back, I should say. Thank you. Appreciate it.

What's up, brother? How you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm feeling very good. First day of Mental Health Awareness Month, man. When you hear people celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, or you see everybody posting their green ribbon, what do you think people really should be getting out of Mental Health Awareness Month? What I hope they should get out of Mental Health Awareness Month is,

I mean, it's almost redundant, really, but just an awareness that your mental health is important, as important as your physical health, your emotional health, your overall well-being, and I hope it lasts longer than a month. I hope that we can use this month as an opportunity to allow people to focus on their health, their mental health going forward. Okay. Now you got a new podcast, Family Therapy.

Family Therapy. And I have a question. I was talking to my wife the other day, right? And we were talking about our kids. I have six kids. Yeah. And she was telling me that three of my kids feared me. Okay.

Right? Yeah. Three of them didn't. The three that didn't, of course, is Logan, who was the, you know, diesel. No, I'm just kidding. But Logan, the baby, Peyton, and Brooklyn, which is the youngest seven. The other three said they feared that at times now it was kind of concerning to me uh because i've never beat him never hit him never popped him i'm stern i always say i'm fair but firm

and but it bothered me why they were fearful and they said the reason that they were fearful is because sometimes i raise my voice when i ask him to do things. So, for instance, my 10 year old, my nine year old, excuse me, his job in the house is to make sure the refrigerator is full with juice, water, sodas, whatever it may be. That's his job. So when dad comes home from a weekend and wants a cold soda and there's no soda, I'm like, this is your only job. And I might get a little loud. It is what it is. My daughter's job is to make her bed and to do the dishes. If they're not done, I raise my voice a little bit. But as family therapy, having a family, what is your take on kids and fearing their dad? Not fear where they see me dive under the bed, but that little fearful thing. Well, first of all, I think sometimes we confuse fear and respect. So I think it's a good idea for children to respect their father and their mother. In this specific instance, I would ask you,

if your youngest child's job is to make sure there's juice and soda and things in the refrigerator, and you come home and there is nothing cold to drink, and you're frustrated and you get a little loud, my question for you would be, when you come home and there is drinks and the child has done their job, do you get equally enthusiastic in the praise of them? You're right, I don't.

And if you did, then that would create a balance and there wouldn't necessarily be the fear because they wouldn't associate you with the feedback of it hasn't worked. You have to be equally enthusiastic in the praise as you are in the criticism. So is this what family therapy is all about? I listened to the first episode and I forgot the couple's name. Jay and David. Jay and David. Yeah. The football, former NFL player. Yeah. So is this what it would be about? Questions like

NBGC? Yeah. You know, the way that I do therapy, it's called solution-focused brief therapy, and it's based on questions. And questions are very, very powerful things. And we don't really think about the questions that we ask ourselves. But questions are real powerful, and we can't help but change it. So my job is to ask people the kinds of questions that change the way they look at things, change the way they view themselves, and change the way they react in the world you know and the question i do ask a lot of times we don't give positive and reinforcements because it's it's what you

should do right yeah but nobody ever says charlotte man you were a good dad this weekend he's supposed to be that's not true my kids give me positive reinforcement all the time and i love it but that's what I love hearing. I love you, Dad. You're the best dad in the world. I mean, my kids do that, too, but nobody will say, Charlemagne, you took your kids out this weekend. Oh, you were being a good dad.

I don't care about the outside validation. But we need to have more positive conversations. Like, I remember I was in, like, the third grade, literally the third grade. And y'all remember when you're that young, you get a grade for everything, right? Like, your report card has 50 000 things on yep i was so happy that i got i got a's in like english i got like five or six a's whatever it was i remember coming home and i'm like so pleased i'm gonna show my father like this report card like it's got all these a's on it he's going to love it i showed him this report card and i got a very kind of low response

and i was like aren't you gonna and he actually said to me you're supposed to get ace and i remember thinking as a kid like then why try like as a third grader i remember thinking what's the point of putting forth effort because we need to have positive conversations if only to create balance for the negative conversations because the world makes us talk about negative things so we have to create effort to talk about positive things and what's crazy we act like as humans we don't already know that right like like everything we do every day you're looking for some type of positive reinforcement whether you whether you say you are or not that's why social media is the worst at that. That's true. If you're going to read comments about something that you did,

it's because you want positive reinforcement. You're not just reading them for your own health. The whole reason that we woke up today and all of us did, we all did some grooming thing. You chose an outfit. If you didn't care about positive, you'd roll out of bed, throw on a t-shirt and come to work. That's right. The reason why we put forth effort in anything is we want acceptance, and we want positive validation, and we want feedback. And I'm promising you, like your children want, when your child does a good job and he's loaded all the drinks in the refrigerator, he wants somebody to come and tell him, good job.

And that's not weakness. That's just the human condition. If humans didn't care, compliments and insults wouldn't exist. Would not exist. Either one. Not at all. Now, what do you think about these students dealing with everything that's just the human condition if humans didn't care compliments and insults wouldn't exist would not exist either one not not at all now what do you think about these students dealing with everything that's going on uh with them having to think about who's going to be the next president and then some of these students uh uh protesting on these campuses how is that affecting their mental health because i mean as adults we're stressed out So I know it has to be even worse on them. Yeah. You know, I'm I'm I'm concerned for this generation of kids because we're not designed to consume the level of data that we are consuming. And these kids are consuming massive amounts of information at a time when their brains can't really handle it.

So I'm concerned about what that's going to do to their overall well-being, to be very honest with you. Like we're seeing massive upticks in things like anxiety and depression. It's directly attributable to what's going on in the world. Having said that, I'm also very encouraged to see these kids playing a role in what their future will look like i think i think politicians should be more responsive to society and what i see these kids doing is letting the world know what they want to have happen in their life that's right and i hope that politicians listen and pay attention because these young people are going to be the ones voting for the next however many years

and i think this generation is more kind of interactive in the world they want to create. I think this generation is more like contributing to the world they want to live in. And I think that's a beautiful thing, actually. And I think, I hope politicians pay attention to it. They won't be reelected. You know, when it comes to family therapy,

what is family therapy to Elliot Conney? Hmm, man, that's a good question. I think family therapy, it's hard for me at this point in my career, it's hard for me to differentiate family therapy versus any other kind of therapy because family therapy is really therapy that impacts the system. And I think we often think family therapy is when the system comes to therapy, but I don't really think about it that way anymore because I think anything, any kind of therapy I do impacts the system. And we all know this, like if you have a super great day and you go home,

that's going to reverberate through the household. If one of your children goes to school and has a super bad day, that's going to reverberate through the household. So if one member of a family comes to therapy and that healing does something in the family, then that's systemic. I remember working with a client one time and this kid was probably 13 years old. And these are the kind of things that molded my view of humans change therapy and family therapy, really. But this 13-year-old, I asked him what he wanted to achieve. When I do therapy, I always ask people what are their best hopes from talking with me, which is my way of saying, how do you want this to make a difference in your life? And this 13-year-old said, I don't think you can. And I said, how so?

And he explained to me that his father drank a lot. And he said, there's really nothing you can talk to me about that's going to help my father stop drinking. And I said, that's true. So let's imagine your father continues drinking. Like he never stops. He just continues drinking throughout their childhood. But you developed the ability to achieve your greatness in spite of your father's drinking. What kind of greatness do you want to achieve? This kid tells me he wants to go to college and tells me the career he wants to have. And we start having this discussion about his future, which, by the way, is really important because your future should not be singularly determinate based upon somebody else's behavior, even your parents. And this 13-year-old starts telling me about the future he wants to have. At the end of the first session, he's like, man, this was really cool.

I'm glad I got to talk to you about this. He comes back to another session and said, what's been better? And he said, you know what? My father's still drinking, but I'm doing better in school because I'm realizing that my future is my future. Not really. I don't have to wait for my father to heal in order for me to grow. Great.

So we have probably two or three sessions and I don't see that kid anymore. The mom tells me kid's doing better. I don't hear from that kid whatsoever. About six months later, the father comes to therapy. And I said, what do you best hope for my talking? And the father said, my son is doing better, and I need to figure out how to not ruin it. Wow. And that father ended up getting sober.

Now, how does that happen? Because we participate in whatever is going on in the family. So if that is something positive, then the family has a tendency to get on board with that. If that is something negative, then the family has a tendency to get on board with that. So prior to me meeting that child, the dad's drinking was creating a negative environment and producing negative outcomes. The kid's grades were suffering, so on and so on. But once the kids started getting better, then the family gets on board with that, and that father ended up getting clean. So when the child initially said, I don't think you can help me with the thing that I want to achieve, I knew he was wrong. Of course we can. You are a very powerful force in your family. So if you go home and you start doing positive things and you start changing your life, then the father has to kind of look at himself in a different way.

And for me, that's what family therapy is. It's having an impact on how a family system functions. It's having an impact on future generations within a family. It's having an impact on how a family system functions. It's having an impact on future generations within a family. It's having an impact on healing generational traumas. To me, that's what family therapy is. It doesn't really matter whether there's one person there or the whole family system shows up. Totally irrelevant. I think I ask you this question every time you come about society and society being a lot softer than when we were kids. Is that changing at all? Because I think a lot of times people, they don't go through the problems that they necessarily have because it's easy to be like, I'm having a mental problem.

I need a mental break instead of dealing with the situations. How do you think this helps the youth grow up when it comes to dealing with problems, dealing with things and dealing with just life in general? Yeah, you know, I don't I don't know if this generation is softer. I know that's a common thing that we say. I think this generation is more sensitive. OK. And I think this generation has more resources and information available to them that we did not have. Like I tell people all the time, like I took a lot of beatings and abuse simply because I didn't know there was a whole organization designed to protect me called Child Protective Services. I had no idea that that was a thing when I was 10 years old. You better not call them all your parents. Exactly. These days, kids know that. But I think

the further thing to your question that I think is really important is I do think we have to face challenges. I do think that we learn a lot from overcoming challenges. I think we learn a lot from overcoming obstacles that we didn't think we could overcome. Human beings are animals in pursuit of comfort. So it's very easy to be challenged and then think, oh, I'm going to take a day off from school or a day off from work. I need to I need a rest day or I need a mental health break when really what they need is to face that challenge head on and to overcome it. And I think we should encourage kids to do that and remind them that you are capable of achieving things even when you didn't think you could. You know, it's interesting about what Envy said, you know, the illusion that you grow up to be an adult with no issues i don't know

anybody from our era who don't have issues like just like all of that those beatings or whatever it didn't it didn't it didn't make us tougher we didn't grow up in life and not know how to be able to deal with our issues better everybody's fragile yeah like i know 40 plus year old people right now that are fragile. Yo, they are on Instagram crying. They're in interviews crying like they are. You can look at them and tell that they need some real work done. Yeah. You know, I that's why I don't I understand what Envy is saying. I understand what you're saying fully, but I don't I don't know that it's softer. I think to live is to struggle. And I don't know anybody that doesn't have anything

to heal from. I think we suppressed more. I agree. I think these kids, they just express it like they have no, and they have the language for it. They know what they're dealing with and they know what they're going through. That's why I hate when people say things like therapy is a trend now, or talking about mental health issues is a fad. No, I feel like there's a generation that just feels open about talking about these issues. Right. Which I think is a good thing. Absolutely. To your point, Charlemagne, like I've had in the past, I would say five, maybe seven years, I've had more therapy initiated by a child in the family than ever before that. Like I've, I've had people say, my child saw one of your videos my child saw you lecture at

the local school my child saw you in some way and wanted me to contact you for therapy we wouldn't have done that as kids like that wasn't something we would have done in our generation and i think this generation is just more expectant of having these things addressed as they should be you know what i thought it was like i was thinking sorry to cut you off. Like one of the students, we were at Clark university, right? And, uh, it's finals week. Right. And we've all been through finals. We all been through final week and how difficult that is to prepare or to study. And it's a, a semester is full of work, right? But we all know that we have to study and we have to get to, and we have to take those tests. I've seen students say, it's too hard for me i need a mental break this is too difficult i need to take a week off now when you get to that level is it do they

really need a mental break or is it still overwhelming because it's the same issues in the same setting that we've been doing that my i've been doing your parents been doing my parents been doing so why is it now that it's too much because we've been doing it and even if we if we fail or we pass, if we get an A, a B, or a C, we still do what we got to do. We try our hardest. But I feel like sometimes it takes kids away from trying their hardest. But I don't – first of all, I agree with you. I think if kids look at how hard it is,

it takes away from them being able to try their hardest. But I also think we somehow romanticize the past because I remember taking finals and I remember kids saying, I need a week off. I need a mental health break. I remember that. We just didn't really give it any attention

because there's equal amount of kids saying they just got to get through this. And I'm sure that's true today. There are kids that are just like, I got to get through this. And then there are other kids saying, I need a week off because it's stressful for them.

It's anxiety provoking for them. But that's life. But that's's life and it was life in 1995 when i went to college taking these tests and it's life in 2024 for these kids now and some of these kids like this might be too much for them as as it was for some of the kids i went to college it was too much for us but i didn't go to college but life is too much for people why are we acting like that these kids are going through anything that we didn't go through and we didn't come out of it clean we're crazy i actually think we're crazy i actually think life is way harder now because we had to go through all that without social media yes i think life is way harder because i had no idea

whatsoever about what was going on politically i did not understand yeah international war i didn't understand any of that and these kids right now are very aware you know my dad my dad told me in 2018 you know when i started i started talking about my issues around 2016 and you know my book came out shook when he told me that he tried to kill himself 30 plus years ago he's he's been on 10 to 12 different medications for his mental health yeah he was going to a therapist three and four times a week you know how many stories i started hearing like that yeah once i started having conversations absolutely so this whole notion that we just went through everything

in the 80s and 90s like it was nothing it's a lie lie. It's not accurate. We romanticize the past. Yes. And I think times are hard. Times are always hard. It's actually harder now because social media is real. Social media is a thing. And these kids' anxieties are through the roof. And that's not weakness. We're actually introducing more to their brains than they can handle.

I don't know how I would have studied for my finals if I also had to worry about a war. There are multiple wars going on right now, actually. But if I had to worry about all that stuff, it's too much. It's literally too much. What do people do to protect their minds, their mental against social media? Because I always say it's a lack of emotional IQ for people to care so much about what other folks think about them. Am I accurate or am I wrong? No, I think that's pretty accurate. I think what people should do, I really want to say get off of it.

But I think it's too late. It's too late. The easiest thing is to remember that that's not real life. I think we have to train our children to understand that that is not real. That does not matter. That's monopoly money, essentially. What's going on in social media, it doesn't matter. It's not really real.

It's not really important. And when kids realize that, they tend to do way better. It's not just kids, though. It's adults. It's adults. I'm watching some really intelligent people, people that I know are some of the most well-read, book-smart individuals who care more about their relationships online

than they do with their relationships offline. I think that's true. But I was focusing on kids because that's what we were talking about, but everybody, like, we need to remember that, like, that world is just not real. What's real is your friendships, your connections, the people you talk to, your family, your loved ones. Like, that's what's real.

How many likes and followers you have, like,, your loved ones. Like that's what's real. How many likes and followers you have, like that is irrelevant data. That is not, that is not real, but people get caught up in it. But I also tell, I tell my kids and I tell my friends, use social media as a tool. That's exactly what it is. Not as an educational piece, not as a friend, not as something where you're looking for approval. Use it as a tool. Like my daughter does. She just graduated from NYU and she does. She works for Serhan and she does real estate. I said, you use it to do your real estate. That's exactly what you do as a tool. My other daughters do dance. You do it for that. You do it for two. But most people don't say it. And like Sean said,

they look for acceptance from people that are not going to give them the acceptance that they're looking. They try, try again until we see them self that's 100 true i i absolutely think it is a tool that is all social media is a tool where we've gotten into trouble is social media has turned the world into like that high school popularity contest correct and i remember being in high school and you know you're upset because the girl you like doesn't like you back or you're not sitting at the cool kid table and at the cafeteria whatever and the adults would say you know in a few years this ain't gonna matter because this isn't real and they're right that's 100 true there are people adults celebrities like i've seen people all over the world like they just

get too wrapped up in what social media is saying about them because we've allowed it to become like the world's cafeteria but if you use it as a tool, and if you remember, like, this is not real, you tend to have much healthier lives about that stuff. And how can a bunch of strangers tell you about you? And more importantly, how can a bunch of strangers tell you about somebody you actually know? Imagine if I interact with a person every day in real life, but on social media, it's a whole other narrative about this individual yeah who am i supposed to believe my real life experiences are these motherfuckers on social media that don't

even know you these people on social media they don't know you they're just spitting out whatever they heard i just think it's crazy that we've allowed this to happen and we have to remember that's just not real and personal relationships still in fact matter i have friends in the entertainment industry and i see stories about them that I know not to be true. There have been times that I've been hanging out with people like Tiffany Haddish and I'll see stories about her. I'm like, I know that's not true. I was there with her that particular night. And to your point, I'm not listening to that story. Like I'm going to believe my own real relationship and interaction with this person. And I think too often we let social media determine and define what our experiences are and it's just not

real as a therapist um is social media the number one thing you see affecting people's mental yeah for sure 100% I think I think social media is absolutely especially in the younger generation is the number one thing contributing to a mental health crisis in this in this society wow wow for sure and the only the only explanation i mean only uh uh i guess cure for it is to just get off i would love to say that but they're not going to get off the only cure for it is to realize it's artificial it is not real it does not matter and the reason why we have to be limited with it again your brain is influenced by the data it receives mm-hmm so if I envy how tall are you six foot six foot this is how susceptible your brain is to

information if every no he knows he's six foot I asked him in in a second he was like this is the answer If I train everyone in your life to start calling you five foot ten, eventually he's going to be like, you know, maybe I'm five foot ten. Everybody's saying it. It's five foot ten. Like that's how susceptible your brain is. So imagine if you are on social media and everybody's saying such and such about you, whether you know it to be true or not becomes irrelevant because the onslaught of data influences the way your brain thinks. And the only way to combat that is to stay off of it. You know, I have a I have a team. I run a large therapy training organization and we post a lot of content on social media and not all the comments are kind. Not all the comments are useful.

And every now and then, and I get a notification. Whenever anybody comments, I get a notification on my phone. And if I say anything to my team, they all say, stay out of those comments because they're trying to protect my mental health because they know if you see that stuff constantly, an onslaught of it, your brain accepts it. So we have to limit that stuff. And what I do to limit it is I just don't look at at the comments so question like let's say you're on social media and it's one it's it's

it's a bunch of positive comments right like literally it might be 10 15 positive comments and then it's just one negative comment why are our brains wired to focus on that negative comment well it's it's a survival really like we we are very good at determining threat like that's that's what human brains are designed to do and a negative comment is associated with threats we're much better at holding on to a negative comment because we perceive that as a threat and that keeps us safe we have to work against that and actually give weight to the compliment because it's actually true like if a hundred people tell you you're the greatest or 100 people tell you you're the greatest and then one person says you're the worst, we have a tendency to hold on to that.

And we have to counter that by realizing we're no longer in a survival situation. We can actually enjoy the loving comment that we got. We can actually give weight to that loving comment just as much. And that improves your mental health. That makes life better. I was going to ask, when you're dealing with people that's been on social media, how do you, because most people are not going to get off social media. No, they're not. You can say, hey, get off social media. Even to myself, like I do limit the amount of time that I own. I don't look at comments. There's certain things that I don't do because I'm getting to the point where

I don't care. Right. And I think that's one of those things where you've been beat up so much you just don't care. So how do you explain that to people, especially celebrities, who they live off of this? And sometimes they might change who they are based off of a comment. They might change their inside based off of a comment. They might change who their living is based off of a comment. So how do you talk to kids, adults, and celebrities about that? By explaining to them the goal should be happiness. And I don't know anybody, literally anybody that spends a lot of time caring about what people think about them that are happy.

So if the goal is happiness, then the pathway becomes very, very clear. We know what we need to do to be happy. I don't have to actually tell them what to do. I just have to ask them, what is your goal that you're trying to achieve? I'm trying to achieve happiness. You tell me what you need to start doing differently in order for you to achieve happiness. Like we know we shouldn't be drinking. We know that we shouldn't be out late at night. We know we shouldn't be using drugs. We know we shouldn't be on social media extreme amounts of time. And when I say like, what do you need to do in order to achieve happiness? They tell me I probably need to stay out of the comments because I've noticed when I'm in the comments more, I'm happy.

I'm less happy. I notice when I'm out drinking, I'm less happy. I notice when I'm out super duper late after a night at the club, I'm less happy. So what do you need to do? They always say the exact same thing more time with family more time with my partner more time in the gym more time doing healthy things i don't know anybody who spends time doing those things and isn't happier or at least a happier version of themselves but we just waste our time doing these other things mostly because vanity is real like vanity is really really real and people want those vanity

metrics I want my followers up I want people interacting but what you should want is happiness that's why meditation is so important that's why time with yourself is so important because you really got to be aware of the of the energy energy your body is feeling like there's certain people certain circumstances certain things that you can automatically make your energy feel the energy your body is feeling. Like there's certain people, certain circumstances, certain things that you can automatically make your energy fill up. And then there's certain people, certain things, certain circumstances that make your energy automatically go down.

So which one should you stay away from? That's absolutely true. But you won't understand that if you're not really in tune with your emotional and mental well-being. That's absolutely true. There's so much I want to say about the podcast, about the podcast Family Therapy, and I can't really because you've got to watch it. You've got to experience it.

You've got to listen to it. But the big lesson that I hope people get is the woman focused on this podcast is one of the most incredible, inspiring, well-achieved women that you could possibly meet. But when she looked in the mirror, that's not what she saw. And when you spend time with yourself and when you meditate and when you fully assess, we have a tendency to assess ourselves and only be aware of the negative things.

And I think sometimes therapy has enforced that because you've got to figure out what's wrong with you and fix it. But what if, at least in part, I would actually go farther, but at least in part, what if we have to figure out what's great about us and own that too? And throughout this, you're going to see how that impacts people. And I hope, if I could make one contribution to society, I hope I would be helping people to see their greatness within themselves. Uh, because I just don't think we spend enough, enough time doing that. I don't think we spend enough time celebrating ourselves. I don't think we spend enough time looking in our history, realizing that I'm, I'm kind of awesome. I, I got through that. I overcame that. I achieved that. We spend a lot of time saying, oh, I should have been like social media.

Right. I thought to be a millionaire by 30 or I thought I have one hundred thousand subscribers by this data. And we really need to just change the way we think about everything. We need to look back and have a positive assessment of ourselves. You're right. And, you know, one thing my big headed co-host said to me that you don't think I'd be listening, but I'd be listening. One thing he said that I finally got a couple of years ago and people hate me for it, but I don't care, is being comfortable. Right. Sometimes I'm not going to say sometimes, but before I would make myself uncomfortable or I would be uncomfortable because of other reasons. Right. And now I'm in a position, and I think everybody should be this way if they can, just to be happier in life, meaning if something doesn't make you comfortable, if you're going somewhere or somebody in your house or somebody around you, change it because it makes you happier, right?

A lot of times we get to the feeling of somebody apologizes and you forgive them and you just don't want them around you. I forgive you, but I just don't want you in my vicinity i just don't want to be there if i don't want to go to this function i'm not going to the function and i don't care who thinks anywhere around me because i realize that that makes me happier in life right i used to think i think my big head co-host was was an asshole he'd be like i ain't going because i just don't want to go and i'd be like charlamagne's being Charlamagne. But then when you realize, nah,

he's protecting his mental because he don't want to deal with them people. That's right. You know what I mean? And I noticed once I started doing that, life is even better.

Like, it is what it is. That's why he loves going to get prostate exams a lot. Makes him comfortable. He likes that. Right?

Yes. You've had a few of them. You too. I only had two. I ain't going to be here for this one. Boy, I ain had a few of them. You too. I've only had two. I don't got to be here for this one. No, but I think that's absolutely true. When you protect your own peace, and if somebody invites you to do something and you know that would interrupt my peace, you don't have to go. No way.

The only reason we go is because I don't want them to think this. No, no, no. You need to prioritize yourself. That's right. We need to do that much more often. go away um the only reason we go is because i don't want them to think this no no no you need to prioritize yourself that's right we need to do that much more often and i don't think we do very often as a collective you know we do a lot of things because we want other people to think you know this that or whatever too much explaining of why but it could be because i don't want to right or just no no i don't want to the best thing i can do tonight is spend time with myself so i'm not gonna go to the thing that you've invited me to, whatever it is.

I wanted to ask you, too, about you recently did some work with Fredo Bang. Yeah. You were on Fredo Bang's. Well, y'all did a therapy session together. We did a session that he's going to use for the release of his newest album and for the song Yes, I'm Sad. Yeah, I think it was a deluxe album. Yeah. What was that like, Yes, I'm Sad. Yeah, I think it was the deluxe album. Yeah.

What was that like? Man, that was incredible. Man, it's hard to even put into words. First of all, I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. In a very short amount of time getting to know him, he's been through a lot. He has been through a whole, whole lot.

And just the decision to want to address that been through a lot like he has been through a whole whole lot and in just the decision to want to address that and to have a conversation with a therapist in my opinion is a profound decision but to expose his audience to that because he wants to spread healing that is that was an incredible thing to be a part of and and for me like at this stage of my career, I want to make healing go viral. I want to make healing, and I mean true healing. I'm not talking about talking about it or fixing what's wrong with you. I mean, to your point earlier, I don't know anybody who's been alive longer than 10 minutes that doesn't have something to heal from. And when I look at social media, you know, you see you'll see someone with a super positive

mental health message and they get this many views and someone doing a food review of a cheeseburger stand gets this many views. And that's fine. Like, I'm not hating on them. Like, you know, have your success. But I want the world to be equally interested in mental health and healing. And for someone like Freddo with his positionality in the culture to prioritize that, I think that that's massive. I think that that that's the kind of thing that will have a rippling impact and and will likely save people's lives. Like someone's life, I can

guarantee you someone's life will be saved because they look up to freddo and they they recognize him as a as who he is in the culture and if he thinks therapy and mental health is important then someone somewhere in baton rouge louisiana or wherever is going to think mental health is important and they're going to seek therapy too because freddo made it cool so to be a part of that moment, it's hard to put into words how appreciative I am for that and how much that means to me. It's a very, very big deal, I think. Listen, make sure y'all subscribe

and download Elliot Connie's podcast, Family Therapy with Elliot Connie. You know, today is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month, man. So if you're looking for a new mental health awareness podcast, a new mindfulness podcast to add to your rotation, Elliot Connie Family Therapy is the one. And if they want to participate, what can they do? Yeah, look, so follow me on social media at Elliot Speaks.

Spell my name with two L's and two T's at Elliot Speaks. And leave a comment, leave a rating, like really help us reach more people. Like I tell people, I really do want mental health and healing to go viral and have a moment and impact lives, and I can't do that without help. So if you want to participate, listen to the podcast, download it on iHeartRadio app, the Black Effect Podcast Network website, wherever you listen to podcasts, iTunes, website um wherever you listen to podcasts itunes spotify wherever you listen to podcasts and join the conversation like and when you listen this is like how do i describe it's like this epic reality show there are multiple characters

within this first family that we're doing this with and And you're going to really resonate with David or Jay or Jay's father, who's a part of the process, whose name is Freddie. Just allow yourself to have access to it. And I think you're going to heal. And one more thing I will say too, questions are such a powerful thing. You're going to hear me asking questions to the participant family. And you're going to find yourself answering those questions. And You're going to hear me asking questions to the participant family, and you're going to find yourself answering those questions, and it's going to impact your life. So just expose yourself to it. Follow it. Follow me on social media. We'll be posting clips, and I'll be doing some cool things there. But help us spread this word, because we need your help. All right. Well,

thank you for joining us. This is Elliot Connie. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning.