The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Jordan Carlos On Becoming A Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, New Book 'Choreplay' + More
Episode Date: March 13, 2026Today on The Breakfast Club, Jordan Carlos On Becoming A Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, New Book 'Choreplay' + More YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.c...om/listener for privacy information.
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Yep, it's the world most dangerous morning to show the breakfast club.
Shalameen to God, Jess hilarious.
Envy is out, but Lauren LaRosa is in.
And I got my guy, man, guy code alumni.
I affectionately call him counsel.
Counsel.
Because of our days on Guy court.
Jordan Carlos is here.
Good to be here, Shar.
Good morning.
Hold on.
You know that book, maybe hold short.
Sure, sure, sure.
You put Chor Play up here so that people can see it.
It's right there.
It's right there.
I love the name of the book.
Yeah, I do too.
Oh, thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
I thought it was genius for what the book is actually about.
Oh, my God.
Chor Play, the marriage saving magic of getting your head out your ass.
Yeah, firmly, out your ass, squarely, out your ass.
This was save my marriage.
And it's funny because, I don't know, I mean, like, this is a very, like, it's challenging for men,
but I'm going to tell you, what I found out was,
The bar is in hell for men when it comes to just like cleaning up around the house.
And we trip over it all the time.
So I thought, I mean, I'm not telling anybody how to live, but I'm just telling people like,
have you considered this?
I'm not an expert or anything like that.
I'm just a veteran of the wars out here.
And I'm lucky to be married still.
And I just want to share that information with everybody.
I think it's hilarious because you said your own book saved your marriage.
Yeah, for real.
Like, that's what it did.
It's, I mean, it's crazy.
When I sat down because writing a book, as you know, as you know, like takes deep meditative thought and you really self-reflect and you see yourself in the mirror and there's no getting away from it.
So that's what it really was.
It just, oh man, I had to think deeply.
I looked up like invisible work.
Let me just man-splain invisible work to y'all real quick.
I'm just kidding.
But like people don't know what it is.
It's that work that my mom put in, that my grandmother put in, like taking care.
my mom taking care of my grandmother while she held down a job.
And, you know, like my dad, great guy, but didn't contribute in the ways that he maybe could have and stepped up.
And that's, I mean, that kind of thing, like learning about that, learning about executive function and what women go through all the time was so, like, my eyes are open.
Yeah.
Women are better cleaners than men.
Okay.
That's not all the way, but no.
No, my brother clean so much.
I clean, but my brother is so much more.
Why did that know he was going to do that?
He read the whole book and that's yes, you take it away.
That's exactly.
That one thing you can never conquer is men's like the brains and how small they be.
It's true.
He's a perfect example of it.
He read the whole book.
I'm sure front the back and look, he's going to still see and say it.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't participate.
I'm just saying women are better cleaners than men.
They are left to do these things.
They're left to do these things, right?
So, I mean, for instance, like when I have Thanksgiving back in Texas, like I notice my baby cousins,
the male ones do not have to watch the dishes, but the,
teenage girls, they're like, okay, baby, let's go to work now.
You know, and it's like the boys are always, the game is on, right?
So it's like-
Where they're hunting?
Did they hunt the food?
Hey, yo.
They didn't go shopping.
Those teenage boys did not go shopping at all.
They used Instacart now, so you ain't even having to carry the groceries no way.
Yes, I use Instacart.
There's no better time to be a slob than right now because technology is caught up with
you.
I'm sorry.
But no, no, you're fine.
But no, that's not all men, though, because my dad, when I grew up, I grew up in a house,
my dad was the one who cleaned.
Amazing.
My mom cooks you did.
You know, they both made the home.
You know, my dad, OCD, like anything out of place, he's fixing it.
He's like wiping down countertops, you know.
So that doesn't go for, you know, all men.
It does not.
It does not, no.
I heard you say that this book saved your marriage where you, was she on the way out the door?
Like, you were about to lose her.
Because it's also, like, a testament to knowing what you got before it's gone.
Yes, yes.
Before you lose it.
I mean, this is what happened, right?
So COVID happened.
We were busy before COVID.
Before COVID, Guy Coal was popping.
Everything was going on.
And then everything stopped.
And when the tide goes out, you see the rocks, right?
And that's what happened.
I was at home.
I was not working, but I also was a stranger in my own house because I was not contributing.
I was mad that I wasn't working.
And that was like, I was like given into like man-child vibes and things like that.
And my wife was no longer having it, right?
Because I was not contributing to the household.
And so like with that said, there was also another divorce that happened in our family.
and I was like front row seats to that
and I did not want that at all
and it was not because of infidelity
as I wrote in the book it's because
I mean studies showed that
it's commitment so it was like
he wasn't doing anything
and if you're just like
an overraised child
you're gonna get kicked out of the nest
and that's what happened to him
and I was like I don't want that at all
what can I do? I was listening to
so it's like there was nothing dramatic
you know and that's what really kills a lot
marriages it's like it's nothing dramatic it's just it's just this kind of me
situation a woman complaining that you're staying in the house and doing nothing during
COVID is so selfish.
What did you think you think?
What are you talking about you brought me up you brought me here in good faith
bro you're making us look bad let me tell you yeah yeah no no no no let me
council let me uh cover his mic no I'm just saying this is it what I mean it was yes
in part it was COVID but at the same time I
I could have translated that into helping out.
I was watching my wife pick up laundry,
take it upstairs, take it downstairs,
watching her do the dishes and everything like that.
You know, watching her take care of the dog,
dust in the corners, watching, watching,
and just like doing nothing.
And after a while, that repetition erodes the integrity
of a relationship, man.
Like little by little.
Did it, were you emotionally disconnected,
mentally disconnected?
Like, how could you just sit, you know,
and watch her do that?
Like, were you going through your own funk of not working
and you were just like in a miserable state
where you couldn't even help yourself.
So how could you help her?
Right.
I think I was definitely there.
But I was also, I stay on ready mode.
And that's something I write about in the book.
It's like guys are always, like we're always,
we have like John Wick fantasies.
I'm ready to fight.
If she asked me to take the trash out, I'll do it.
No problem.
It's nothing.
Yeah, you got to do trash out.
That's us.
That's us.
Yeah, yeah, that's us.
But to be reminded of the thing.
I was always being reminded of the thing.
So I started reminding myself.
It was just a small switch.
I saw that divorce.
I said, this is what the guy was not doing
and not bringing to the table.
I was like, okay, let me flip this.
And just, I know when trash night is.
It's Tuesday night.
So let me just go do it.
You know, like bring the receptacles back on Wednesday morning.
Like that's, I knew to do that because I've seen her do it.
So just do it.
And like, I cannot tell you.
Like, there's that Maslow's pyramid of needs, right?
And like the basic needs are taken care of.
And then you can get to self-actualization.
But if your basic needs aren't taken care of, then you can't feel safe.
Right?
So that's what I was like, I was ignoring that about her.
So when like, I mean, another part of the book is smashing.
So, I'm sorry to look at you during that.
Why did I?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, smashing is a big part of the book.
But like, but she wasn't, she wasn't down to clown as much when the house wasn't in order, right?
So I was looking at that, studying that, and that's people need safety.
They need security deep down as that caveman part of you.
And so when that happened, it was like, yeah.
To get in the mood.
To get in the mood.
To get in the mood.
Chor play.
Chor play.
Chor play.
Chorplay is for play.
I was just like, uh-uh.
I mean, I was trying.
He can't say smack.
He can't say having.
Well, he can't say having.
We make love.
But like, you know.
I'm messing.
I'm messing.
I'm messing.
He's like fumbling over your words.
This nerd.
All right.
So, um, that we're, uh, we make.
The book is really good, though, man.
I just want you to be too hard on yourself.
Like, when you talk about how you used to see her cleaning and, you know,
you felt like you didn't help, it's like, yo, when you saw Leonardo da Vinci doing the Mona Lisa,
when you say, hey, let me get a brushing.
No, you would let a master do work.
No.
It's the same thing.
Don't listen to me.
You're better at that.
Hold on.
You're saying let her cook.
If she's doing what she's doing.
But how are you?
Okay.
But you're married, too.
This is wild.
All right.
So I feel like, thank you, Charlemagne.
That's called, I mean, that is called like when you pretend to be incompetent
at something, right?
So it's like Tom Sawyer, right?
Like, I can't do that.
I can't let her whitewash the fence.
I got to jump in there if I know what I'm doing.
Because what's cute in your 20s is not cute in your 40s.
Like, I'd watch football every Sunday.
I watch my Cowboys for no good reason every Sunday.
And she was fine with that in my 20s.
But then in my 40s, she's like, why don't you?
take the kids to this or that.
You know, they got practice.
Where's the evolution?
No, no.
What happened?
You know I'm a cowboy fan too.
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Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life.
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They got to give us the cowboy game.
Now, Jordan, this is a bit crazy, yo.
The game's on?
I know.
He's like, why about coming here?
So I did all my chores all during the week.
I did everything I'm supposed to do during the week, and I can't watch the game.
I'm so sad.
I don't want to sound like Stephen A.
but like what have the Cowboys done for you lately?
The Cowboys, what have the Cowboys done for you lately?
I mean, I'm talking to, okay, we can leave the Cowboys out.
Like, a Jets fan should be out with his family in the fall.
They should be picking apples and going on hikes and canoeing.
What are you doing at Matt Life?
Like, you should be, right?
But you don't feel like there's like, I mean,
and I know you talk about kind of like the giving takes in the book,
but there are like giving texts.
It's like, all right.
Like, I can understand Sunday is the day that you want for that.
as much as you can understand
cleaning the bathroom. I know you have
your list in this book and you talk about cleaning just the
tub out after you did. That
helps me a lot. It's give or take.
So do you got, what was your give or
taking your marriage after writing this book? If you couldn't
have football on Sundays, what was she willing
to be like, all right, bet, I'm going to let you have that.
And let me just say this. My situation was unique.
I had to quit. That was like a
tourniquet. I had to fix this so I could
fix a bigger thing. I'm not saying
like everybody's got to quit watching football.
You could stand to watch home games
you could stand to watch away games like you could pick you know or like just take take take take a weekend off that's all i'm saying
um i would say that my give and take is this i have i a lot time for myself now because this book is
about time management as well and i a lot time for myself i wake up at 5 a m i've already been up for
for hours today so like you can tell i'm i'm feeling hype so um this that time i have for myself
is mine and mine alone.
I usually go to the gym,
work out whatever it is.
But if I don't,
if I, on a rest day,
I'll watch like a series
I haven't watched yet
because I can't watch it
around my kids.
Maybe it's just like
cursing it or something like that.
So it's like,
I have my time to do what I want to do.
I get to read.
That's my hour, you know?
So that's my give and take.
And yeah, I mean, look,
sometimes, of course,
I watch the Cowboys sometimes.
What do you have to do to earn your hour?
It's about,
but if you feel like you have a techno feudalist household.
So how much work do you have to put in the hour in your hour?
It's a vibe.
It's a vibe.
It's a vibe.
It's a vibe.
That's what the book's about, too.
It's a vibe.
I mean, I like a lot of books out there that tell you what to do.
I was inspired by Eve Rodsky's fair play, right?
But I was like, that's too rigid.
That's too rigid.
And at the end of the book, I'll just point this out and say, at the end of that book,
she's like, all right, ladies, now get out there and save your marriage.
And I was like, damn, this wasn't even written for me.
This is written for somebody else.
So what would a male do, right?
I'm like, I'm going to change my vibe.
That's what I'm going to do, okay?
So I can't have, I don't get by with charts in the wall and things like that and
gold stars because that's for somebody else's approval.
What's my approval matrix?
What do I believe in?
What's my standard?
So that's kind of where it is for me.
Like, she, I mean, like, I could watch football if I wanted to.
But I'm like, I want to take my kid to Governor's Island.
I want to go hiking one Sunday.
I don't want to give it more money to Jerry Jones.
Like, Jerry's fine.
I'm saying? So it's like, you know, he's fine. What am I doing for me? You know? So that's,
that's really what it is. It's like, yeah. How long did it take you to save your marriage? You said
it saved your marriage, but like, what was that process like? And how long was it? To be honest,
I would say, like, it took about six months to write things, right? So there was this guy that was
famous in the mom's group in Brooklyn. So he's Canadian, so it's suspect anyway. But he's, so
that's why. But we learn a lot from Canadian. Yeah, universal health care, you know, all the kind of
So anyway, he was famous among the moms.
They're like, oh, Hugh, he was a good guy.
He was the best.
Like, he makes coffee every morning for his wife.
He makes coffee.
That's it.
One cup.
That's it.
So I asked him, like, what do you do?
You grind the beans.
Do you make like a latte, cappuccino, whatever?
The foam designs.
He's like, man, folders crystals.
Folders crystals.
And that's it.
The bar is in hell, right?
So for that, the man is famous.
So I was like, I'm going to do the same thing.
So I did that, slow-hanging fruit.
I did the same thing.
It was hard to wake up in the morning before my wife,
but I did it.
And I kept doing it.
I did it like one day, three days, seven days.
I do it.
Like, this is the only morning I couldn't do it.
It took a man from Canada to tell you that the best part of waking up is full
to be a question.
What is going on?
A man from Canada after Ted to come take that about him?
Yeah, yeah, for real.
I mean, he showed me, he gave me the, like, Prometheus fire.
Like, I was like, I was in the dark about it, you know?
And it was, the guys were dwindling down in that group.
We have, like, a Friday kind of, like, hangout.
And it was just me and him left.
I was like, damn, I had to know the secret after that.
I'd seen so many, we lost so many good men out here, Sean.
But what did you think when you, like, be enough?
That was the secret, just fold just crystals.
Like, even with this whole process, when you think back on it, right,
things that you weren't doing versus now things that you are doing it,
do you ever say like, damn, it really wasn't that hard all this time?
And I don't know, did you ever think also, like, why do you guys expect?
extra credit for doing the bare minimum anyway.
Oh, because, I mean, that's, I want my ticker tape parade.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I really do.
Like, I mean, I did the dishes before I left this morning.
And I had to fight.
It was like fighting for my life not to be like, babe, do you appreciate those dishes
was done this morning?
She didn't care.
You know, like, or you got to give yourself an adder boy.
Yeah.
I gamify everything.
And I'm like, okay, let me see if I can get a load in before, like, a laundry
in before I hit the, you know, like leave the house, go to the office, whatever.
it is. So it's just like, what is the vibe for you? I mean, I had to also stop being and stop wanting to be
mothered, you know, like, because that's someone getting mad at you for not straightening up feels
like that's me just like reliving the, the dynamic I had with my mom. And I love my mom,
you know? Absolutely. But I don't, but marrying somebody is not substituting your mother. You know what
I'm saying. It's like it's it's a partnership. Yeah. So.
Morturing for you. Yeah, absolutely. But just like, how do you nurture yourself? What do you want? Do you see yourself? You know? Like, for instance, like I had to get a fade yesterday, but I did it. Not my wife always being like, you're woofing. Like you need your edges. You this and that. You know, like, stop. What do you want? You know when it's time to do something. And do you feel like that came from your father not contributing to? You know, like, that came from your father not contributing.
as much or not being around.
Oh, was he?
Yeah.
How do you know he did not?
My dad, my dad.
You're just going to call this man dad.
No, no, no.
My dad, my dad actually was not around.
Okay.
He was, he's a doctor.
He's at the hospital all the time.
So it's actually like a positive reason.
You know what I'm saying?
So, but he was, he was taking care of women for so long and like, as an OBGYN.
And it's crazy.
He was also like instrumental Planned Parenthood in Dallas, Fort Worth, where I'm from.
And then he'd come home and it's like, you can be an ally
in the streets but not in the sheets.
You know, like,
my dad would just be watching ESPN2,
watching boxing and just like having a state
and like not giving a damn
about what the state of the house was.
So he was Heathcliff Huxstaboo,
heathcliff Huxble outside the house.
Yes, yes.
Well, we can pick another doctor.
I didn't say,
because of me.
I said, he's-cli-hugged-Bee.
That's the character.
I got you.
I was like, Jess is, I knew.
I knew Jess was shoot at me.
No.
Okay, okay, okay.
I don't think that's fair to your father, George.
This man is in Dallas, Texas, taking care of vaginas all over Dallas,
and he comes home and just wants to relax for a second
and he's getting flag about not taking out the trash for five minutes.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just saying I love my dad.
He's the most generous guy out there.
But, like, that's what was modeled for me.
Like, you could have what I detail in the book as a greedy job.
And a greedy job is just a job that eats up your time.
It's not about money.
So my dad had a greedy job as a doctor.
He was a public servant.
He's a doctor.
God ordained your father.
We love my dad.
Joseph Carlos, I love you.
MD, I love you.
No, no, no.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying that you become what you behold.
So that was model for me.
So that's what I did.
And it was repeated.
And my wife is a professor too.
And she holds down her job and does all these things.
But I was still like, just like, okay, what did dad do?
That was it.
That's, yeah.
So, yeah.
But you talk about, she brought in the Cosby show,
and you talk about, like, even media and, like, your mom taking you to go see Mr. Mom.
Yeah.
And, like, kind of some of, I thought that the conversation that you were going to have after
that was a lot different than the one that you actually had.
And I won't give it away.
But I guess talk a little bit about going to see that movie and how that resonates with you as an adult.
Because I thought that your take on it was kind of interesting of why your mom took you to see that movie.
I think my mom took me to see that movie because it just spoke to her,
because it's a reversal.
Mr. Mom, if you don't know,
it's like Michael Keaton in the early 80s,
like he loses his job or whatever
because the factories are all moving to Japan.
So he is at home as a,
so he's Mr. Mom.
And his wife goes out to work.
And lo and behold, he can't do anything around the house at all.
But the man was like an engineer.
Like he understood how like a combustible engine work,
but he can't make a popcorn fry work.
And I'm just like, this is the dumbest movie of all the time.
But it's like,
but it plays into the stereotype of the useless man, right?
And so my mom was laughing the whole time, laughing the whole time,
because I could see that, you know, that reflected my dad at home.
You know what I'm saying?
You could be a genius out there, but not get or understand, like,
when my dad used to be like, Hazel, what a sister's at?
You know, like, the sisters have been in the same drawer for 10 years.
He doesn't, he doesn't know, you know what I'm saying?
Like, so that kind of thing.
Because women usually are the CEO of the house.
women are the CEOs of the house
I mean especially my wife
my wife is from Brooklyn my wife
my wife went to public school
a whole life
Magnacom Laudey from Smith and a PhD
she's a field general
you know what I'm saying
I am a good lieutenant
and a good lieutenant
the field general knows the playbook
because she wrote it
just sub in she can't do everything
that's that's all I do
like a good short stop
you describe Chow Play
as a marriage manual disguised
as comedy why do you think so many men
need humor
at the entry point
before they can even hear a relationship.
Sorry, I love you.
Actually, you described it as that.
But you said I did.
I did?
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate you.
I know, I appreciate you.
He'd be writing and reading so much.
I know, I know, I know.
All right, so say it one more time
because I was like, yeah.
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Next Monday, our 2026 IHart Podcast Awards are happening live at South by Southwest.
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and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry.
And the winner is...
Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be on full display.
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Thank you to all the other nominees.
You guys are awesome.
Watch live next Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific free at Veeps.com or the Veeps app.
You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG.
But did you know he was also a spy?
Was this before he wrote his stories?
I must have been.
Our new podcast series,
The Secret World of Roll Doll,
is a wild journey
through the hidden chapters
of his extraordinary,
controversial life.
His job was literally
to seduce the wives
of powerful Americans.
What?
And he was really good at it.
You probably won't believe it either.
Okay, I don't think that's true.
I'm telling you,
the guy was a spy.
Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's?
Played poker with Harry Truman
and had a long affair
with a congresswoman.
And then he took his talents to Hollywood,
where he worked alongside Walt Disney,
and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film.
How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?
And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids.
The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote.
Listen to The Secret World of Roll Dahl on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Hey, I'm Jay Chetty, host of the On Purpose podcast.
My latest episode is with Hillary Duff, singer, actress, and multi-platinum artist.
Hillary opens up about complicated family dynamics, motherhood, and releasing our first record in over 10 years.
We talk about what it's taken to grow up in the entertainment industry and stay grounded through every chapter.
It's a raw and honest conversation about identity, evolution, and building a life that truly matters.
You desire in family like this picture, and that's not reality a lot of the times for people.
My sister and I don't speak.
It's definitely a very painful part of my life.
And I hope it's not forever, but it's for right now.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, this is Joe Winterstein, host of the Spirit Daughter podcast, where we talk about astrology,
natal charts, and how to step into your most vibrant life.
And I just sat down with a mini driver.
The Irish traveler said when I was 16, you're going to have a terrible time with men.
Actor, storyteller, and unapologetic Aquarian visionary.
Aquarius is all about freedom-loving and different perspectives,
and I find a lot of people with strong placements in Aquarius are misunderstood.
A son and Venus and Aquarius in her seventh house spark her unconventional approach to partnership.
He really has taught me to embrace people sleeping in different rooms, on different houses,
in different places, but just an embracing
of the isness of it all.
If you're navigating your own transformation
or just want to chart side view
into how a leading artist
integrates astrology, creativity
and real life, this episode
is a must listen.
Listen to the Spirit Daughter podcast,
starting on February 24th
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your podcast.
I described it as a marriage man
who's comedy, but I would say,
why do you think men need humor as
the entry point before they can even hear a relationship
because we got to sneak the veggies
we have to sneak the veggies no matter what
I don't want to I don't and by the way
a lot of men are doing a lot of things out there
and and busting their ass
but like but so I give
men credit for that nobody
would stay with you for a long time most
times unless you were doing something
but I think that we get tripped up because
we feel as though maybe masculinity
gets in the way like like
that's why we need a little humor masculinity
gets in the way like I met this guy on vacation
And this guy was like next door to us.
And he was staying like a door down.
And he was a colonel in the army.
I asked him what kind of what did he do?
As colonel, he was like, I was a quartermaster.
I was like, what's a quartermaster?
He's like, quartermaster just like, like,
make sure that the troops and everything have the food,
the ammunition, the supplies they need to do whatever.
Right?
I was like, oh, okay.
So he's like, I'm a quartermaster at my own home too.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So I took that idea because I also.
I mean, I am in touch more, I guess, with like, my feminine side, but like, I do have thin skin as a man.
So I had to like, I was like, I'm going to be the quartermaster at my house too.
So that's what I needed.
Yeah.
You know, I think men need that.
They need to just make sure that it translates to something they can understand and take in.
Because the guy said, Napoleon said, an army marches on its stomach.
So like, so having supplies, having resources ready for my family, my wife, whatever, that makes me feel.
feel, it makes me feel like more of a man.
And it's, and it does it in a way that it's not harmful to my wife, to her femininity,
to feminism, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't disrupt, you know, and I like that.
What age of, like, men do you think will actually get this book?
Because you're talking about being in touch with your feminine side and all these things
that, like, I think that that's a, most men don't get there for a while.
Like, where did you, when did you get to this point?
I mean, I've always, Char will tell you, I've always been a different kind of cat, you know,
It's like, that's just who I am.
But like my mom, raising more than my dad.
So I understood women more and like women, you know, I think they're great.
Like, a lot of guys don't even like women.
They like pussy, but don't like women.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But even that, you know, like, yeah.
But even in that, you know, when you have guys that are allies, like, whatever you want to call it, at home, they just, it doesn't translate.
Yeah.
And so I think that that happened to me in my 40s.
This is a late awakening.
That's why I wrote the book right now.
I had to, you know, like, because I thought I was doing fine.
Yeah.
I thought I was doing fine.
Therapy.
Self realization.
Therapy, self-realization.
Therapy can only do so much, right?
I mean, I'm not an expert.
It could only do so much for me because we were talking and talking and talking in circles.
This is just a book about like, have you tried this?
Yeah.
You know, like, have you tried this?
From your experience.
From my experience.
Have you tried vacuuming without being at?
Have you tried the line like, I already did that, you know, and seeing what that does to your person.
Have you tried?
Like, we always go to like wonderful gatherings, parties in the summertime, spring, whatever it is, barbecues, cookouts, kids are there, families there, everybody's there.
When it's time to go home, my wife's always the one that says it's time to go home.
Have I done that?
I did that for her.
It's free.
You know, I flipped it and it was like, babe, like, we got to, you know, school.
We got to, yeah, we got to go.
We got to go.
And like to see her when you never wanted to go to begin with.
Should you give her credit for wanting to leave when you never even wanted to go?
Like we were having such a connective moment right there.
We literally were like, like elevating.
Elevating.
Some people in there.
But that's free, Sean.
You can say it's time to go.
You can.
But I'm just saying it's for free you can do that.
And it's like it's so easy.
It's like this little things low hanging fruit around the house because I was not ready for like big, big, big change.
But I wanted to change.
I'm not good with big change.
I'm good with granular kind of change.
Like, like, so what I did was just like checked.
I remember once I was on the bathroom,
I just checked the TP roll.
I was like, oh man, I should change that.
So like, so just like, that's easy.
I'm like, don't make your heart.
But it don't be happening.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You know, you leave it with one little piece of paper on a row,
not helping nobody, right?
So we got, you know, two bathrooms in the house,
not trying to brag.
So.
Okay, Joy.
I love it.
No, in my, I live in New York City in my entire house.
So it's easy to, I'm saying, it's easy to do.
Yeah, not trying to break.
So it's easy to do, you know, doing that.
And then I was like, then I wanted a snack.
I checked in the refrigerator.
I'm like, we're running low on OJ.
So checking your levels, I always said like in the book, I said the devil's in the levels.
So checking the OJ, the milk.
These are all things that she would do.
She'd be like, we got to get milk.
We got to get milk.
you know, like on the way home, and I'd be like,
milk, you know, but like,
you know what I mean? But like,
we can never go straight home.
So now I do
that, right? I check the levels, the olive
oil, whatever it is, the butter,
because my daughter's a baker, she'd be baking.
Like, we run a little bodega, basically,
in our place. Like, she's always,
we're running out of everything. So that's,
that's like, that was easy to do for me.
Gotcha. Now, I love,
I love the accountability on your part of everything
that you're accepting, everything that you changed.
Was there anything that you felt like she needed to change?
Or, you know, just like something?
She watching this?
You say, yeah, so confident and it thought about it.
I'm like, wait a minute, a couple things.
Let me see.
No, she, yeah, because when you have that,
she possessed that image as the person who had it all under control.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
And that can be, I understand.
My wife grew up in Brooklyn, like her parents were like radicals and hippies,
and they had like a townhouse and they rented it out and she had one small space and order
gave her peace, you know, in this kind of chaotic environment.
And so the only thing she had to change was letting go the fact that maybe I could handle
things.
Yeah, she doesn't have to do it all by herself.
And that's how she's been pretty much all her life.
Absolutely.
Okay, okay.
So just taking things off people's plates can be tough because it's almost existential.
Like if I'm not doing it all, then.
what am I doing?
You know?
So like little by little, and we get competitive with it because she's from New York.
So, you know, I'll be like, I'm from.
I'm from Texas.
I'm from Texas.
Yeah.
From the boy.
I'm from Dallas.
So I had no choice.
I got to be a Cowboys for this.
It's going to be next year.
Okay.
So.
I want to say, a lot of guys in providing financially is a business.
Yes.
What's the difference between a provider and being an actual partner?
Wow.
Okay.
So, yeah, a partner is just one who, like,
Like I said before, I'll return to it.
Just takes things off the plate.
When you're just adding money, I've done that.
I've just, I mean, like, I've added funds and then just been like, leave me alone.
Right.
And not so forcefully, but like, but.
But that was the vibe.
That was the vibe.
You can go buy the milk.
You can go by the milk.
I don't have to go to the store to get it too.
Yeah.
I don't have the time.
You know what I'm saying?
Or like, I didn't know, like, my kids' teachers' names.
Shout out to Mr. Matera.
You know, shout out some Mr. Eng.
Like, I didn't know my kids' teachers' names.
I wasn't invested.
I figured that that absolved me.
I could buy out of it, you know?
And, like, I think a partnership, you do that in more.
Like, you, and it feels good.
It feels good to have, like, inside jokes about, like, what our kids discard in their lunch and what they eat
and how they be coming back with different food than what we put in the lunchbox.
I'm like, how, what happened?
They traded.
They're trading next school.
That's what they do.
Kids do that.
I know, I know, but I put carrot sticks in there and now it's like jolly rage.
I don't want no damn carrot.
It's true.
It's true.
When you were reading Troy Play, did him finding out his kids' teachers' names
prompt you to go find out your kids' teachers' names?
No, but I think it's important.
No, I do think it's important.
And the reason I think it's important is because we're dropping off our kids with these people
that we don't even know.
Like, you know what I mean?
You know how insane that is when you actually think about it?
Our actual souls, our hearts outside of our body,
we're just dropping them off with adults all day
and don't even know their names.
But that's how important the woman is in your household
because you're only okay with it because you know your wife going to hold it down.
And she's okay.
Dumb.
But knowing the names, did it change anything for you for what he's talking about,
like a sense of security outside of your wife?
Of course.
I set up like, I mean, I do a lot.
You know, I got jobs.
I got gigs, but like, I was like, babe, I'm going to set up the parent teacher conferences.
You know, so just like doing that, getting that done, which is like, oh, my God, you have to.
It's a blood sport.
It's really a blood sport because people are, and it's all online.
So, I mean, it took up time and it's very stressful, but I got it.
It is a lot.
I was right saying.
That is a lot.
That is why, you know, women do it.
But, like, you, it's something about dad being able to, you know, go and have a conversation with your teacher.
Oh, yeah.
Because mom, sometimes, I don't know.
always feel like it, you know? So when your kid runs up, it's good. Go tell dad about Miss Gimmel Gamble
or whatever. Miss Waffle Bottom. Let me tell you something. That's why I can't remember the name.
Yeah, they change every year. You know, like, like, you know what it was was like, I feel like
doing that, some of the system, right? Sometimes it's the water, not the shark, right? We're always
worried about the shark. Man's not doing this, that, and the third, but it's the water, too.
It's how the system is set up. If something goes wrong at school, my name's at the top of that
emergency contact list. I made sure it was this year. They like skip. They go down to my wife and I have to
hear about a third party. I was like trying to make some some disappointments for my kids like tooth
cleaning. I call up. I'm like, listen, I need to know about Izzy and Malcolm's tooth cleaning.
Are they set for whatever? They were like, the mom already knows this. And I was like, what?
They're like, oh, the mom already knows this information. Are you divorced? I'm like, no.
First of all. But they're like, only divorced dads call and do that kind of stuff. Right? So it's like,
The system is rigged against men to an extent.
We play a role in massagony.
We all play a role in massagony, right?
So it's like you can have agents of misogyny.
Canadian women are looking for more.
More into themselves, their businesses, their elected leaders, and the world are at them.
And that's why we're thrilled to introduce the Honest Talk podcast.
I'm Jennifer Stewart.
And I'm Catherine Clark.
And in this podcast, we interview Canada's most inspiring women.
entrepreneurs, artists, athletes, politicians, and newsmakers,
all at different stages of their journey.
So if you're looking to connect, then we hope you'll join us.
Listen to the Honest Talk podcast on Iheart Radio
or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Next Monday, our 2026 IHeart Podcast Awards are happening live at South by Southwest.
It's just the biggest night in podcasting.
We'll honor the very best in podcasting from the past year
and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry.
And the winner is,
Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be on full display.
Thank you so much.
IHeartRadio.
Thank you to all the other nominees.
You guys are awesome.
Watch live next Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific free at veeps.
Or the Veeps app.
You know Roll Dahl, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG.
But did you know he was also a spy?
Was this before he wrote his stories?
It must have been.
Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Dahl, is a wild journey.
through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life.
His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.
What?
And he was really good at it.
You probably won't believe it either.
Okay, I don't think that's true.
I'm telling you, the guy was a spy.
Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's?
Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman.
And then he took his talents to Hollywood,
where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock,
before writing a hit James Bond film.
How did this secret agent,
wind up as the most successful children's author ever,
and what darkness from his covert past
seeped into the stories we read as kids.
The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote.
Listen to The Secret World of Roll Dahl
on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Jay Chetty, host of the On Purpose podcast.
My latest episode is with Hillary Duff, singer, actress, and multi-platinum artist.
Hillary opens up about complicated family dynamics,
motherhood, and releasing our first record in over 10,
years. We talk about what it's taken to grow up in the entertainment industry and stay grounded
through every chapter. It's a raw and honest conversation about identity, evolution, and building a
life that truly matters. You desire in family like this picture, and that's not reality a lot of
the time it's for people. My sister and I don't speak. It's definitely a very painful part of my
life and I hope it's not forever, but it's for right now.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts.
Hi, this is Joe Winterstein, host of the Spirit Daughter podcast, where we talk about astrology,
natal charts, and how to step into your most vibrant life.
And I just sat down with a mini driver.
The Irish traveler said when I was 16, you're going to have a terrible time with men.
Actor, storyteller, and.
unapologetic Aquarian visionary. Aquarius is all about freedom-loving and different perspectives,
and I find a lot of people with strong placements in Aquarius are misunderstood. A son and Venus and
Aquarius in her seventh house spark her unconventional approach to partnership. He really has taught
me to embrace people sleeping in different rooms, on different houses and different places,
but just an embracing of the isness of it all. If you're navigating your own transformation,
or just want to chart side view
into how a leading artist
integrates astrology, creativity,
and real life,
this episode is a must listen.
Listen to the Spirit Daughter podcast
starting on February 24th
on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your podcast.
That don't want to see
men do the right thing.
And they can be women. You know what I'm saying?
So it's like that that factors in.
But still don't know to say that to me on the phone.
Like, are you divorced?
You can a bus stop and kids because you're,
you really are.
You know what I'm saying?
It was South Brooklyn, so it's different.
She was like, divorced.
I bet you're divorced, right?
We got another divorced line.
Dad on the line, Carol.
You know, like that's what it was.
But, you know, you recover from that.
It wasn't, you know, and just know that that is,
oh, okay, that's the state of play.
That's the atmosphere.
It was your ring proudly.
Yes, that's the state.
I mean, it's a low bar, though.
I was walking my kids across the street in South Street Seaport.
And like, this lady looked at me.
And she goes, now there's a dad right there.
I was like, I'm not doing shit but holding their hands.
I guess, okay.
It's good.
Yeah, I'll take it.
I guess it's not.
So a lot of people, it's unusual to see.
Yeah.
You know, I've seen it all my life, but I understand why.
Well, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
What you're saying about your dad, that's amazing.
It is unique.
And it's, you know what?
I found a lot.
Also, I have three wonderful aunts.
And my eldest aunt, my aunt, Sabatha,
who's amazing college professor,
such a wonderful woman.
And her husband is exactly like that.
Exactly like that.
But it took a three, that's the third husband now.
Uncle Charles is great.
You know, she's a child.
Third time to charm.
Yeah.
If somebody read show a plan only applied one habit.
One habit.
What's the one small action that you think could change the relationship more?
Have a plan.
Just have a plan.
Get, I mean, this is not an endorsement for the Rezi app,
but get an app like that.
Because you deserve.
Like your partner deserves like dinner plans, whatever it is.
Keep that, I say keep that candle burning and make sure that you got a backup because we're so expecting, you know, her to want to do something.
What about you?
You got to research things.
Like I'm a very fun dad.
I will take my kids to like, you name it, whatever.
We'll go to like, let's go to Yankee Stadium.
Then we'll go to get ice cream and, you know, like we're going to go see dolphins.
You know, like, that's me.
But I just needed to divert some of that back to my wife.
You said you didn't want to just be the fun dad.
You wanted to be the responsible partner.
Yes, yes.
But my wife wanted that fun too.
And I was leaving that out and playing like a game against her.
So, but one thing, but one thing today, you know, download an app like that, make it really.
The RES app, right?
The Resi.
Resi.
Because you went to the Rizzi app too.
Oh, Rizzi app.
The Riz app is the number one dating app.
You know what they say the Riz?
You got a guy.
I don't know anything about that, Charlemagne.
Rezzi.
Reservation.
It's the number one AI dating assistant.
Charleman, what you're trying to do to me?
At the end of the show, I'm divorced.
It's been your own people.
This was to be your people.
Crabs in a barrel.
Crabs in a barrel.
Can you, I saw you talk to the New York Times about this too.
You were telling them that being a fund.
almost ruined your marriage.
Yeah.
Yesterday I was watching Stanley K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bath, his wife, on Michelle Obama's
podcast.
And they were having a conversation about preparing to be empty nesters and how you have to
like figure out being together again.
Can you talk about kind of what now your dynamic is with your wife because your kids are
still in the house, but you realize you got to be with your partner?
Absolutely.
So most weekends, like if she's not going to go out with her girls, then we will go out
together.
I love that.
You know, we, we look forward to, to, like, having a night out.
Like, my mother-in-law lives real close to us, so we just drop up the kids.
I was about to say, y'all got babysitters on death.
Yeah, yeah, you got to have, you got that village.
Yeah, but she's, again, the Brooklyn, get you a Brooklyn person, you know what I'm saying?
They got the connect.
They got the hookup.
So it's like, we just do that.
And then we go out.
And then, like, during the week, we try to play hookie.
So, like, because I write from home, work from home.
And she, like, only, she has three nights a week of teaching.
like during the day we can be around.
So like we'll go to like, what's the place?
Bathhouse, which is really great.
Oh, the spa.
Yeah, the spa.
Yeah, get lunch on a Wednesday.
Don't like, because we both are home and we have, I mean, I'm very fortunate and very blessed that I can just be like, you want to do the spot tomorrow.
She's like, yeah, let's do it.
You know, or get lunch or whatever it is.
So you got to keep it spicy and chop it up all the time.
And if you, and that's, we're preparing ourselves for.
for that. I mean, like, our kids are 13 and
nine, so we got a couple more years.
It goes by fast, man. It does.
How old are your kids? My oldest is 17th.
She'll leave me for college this fall.
Wow.
But then I have a 10-year-old, 7-year-old, and 4-year-old,
so, you know, I get time.
It goes by fast.
It does go by so fast. It goes by real fast.
But just keeping that spirit alive
and keeping, like, the fun that you have for your kids,
even if you divert a little bit. You know what I'm saying?
For her, that's what's up, because we just get
resentments. And I'm like,
you don't deserve that fun.
I'm going to put it over here.
She didn't let you watch the game.
She didn't let you watch the game.
I mean, in peace.
You know what I mean?
But it wasn't,
it wasn't about like,
the game is,
it's not that.
It's just the Cowboys have,
it's been a one-sided relationship,
abusive relationship for so long
that I was like,
I got to do something.
I got to get out.
I got to get out, you know?
And I just want you to check on them.
I don't believe in roles, right?
Okay.
I believe in everybody doing what they're the best at.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Women are the best at cleaning.
Women are the best.
Oh, my God.
Like, we've come for 40 minutes.
Don't stop.
Let them keep going.
I'm not saying that we can learn.
So no roles.
Just what your best at.
Women are the best of the best.
Women are the best of the best of organizing.
Like, they hold that down.
Oh, don't patronize us.
I'm better as a worker.
You're better as a worker.
Okay.
Okay.
Were they not working in that example?
You said they were holding it down and doing everything.
I'm better off working for them.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
So I'm there for like moral support.
I'll get you to broom.
I'm going to get, you know what I mean?
I'm glad you're doing.
Charlamagne.
And you will open a window when you clean in the bathroom.
Wow.
You will open the window so that's not so don't do too much in the crowd.
I don't know Sonny gets a supervisor of a cleaning company.
What do you mean?
You just help.
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no, no.
I love everything you do.
Wow.
She's mad.
She's got it better than all of us, George.
How do you put?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for your.
service.
Thank you for
Joe.
Don't do
a lot.
He's Mexican
and blacks.
Oh,
like me.
Like Carlos.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I'm African-American.
But I'm like Latin
nope.
Like people think I'm less.
They think about.
I'm Latino.
Like that's me.
Thank you for your service.
In these times.
These, okay.
I'm just saying
in the atmosphere.
That's all.
I can, I mean,
I'm the same way.
No, Chalkley is good.
I think the most important thing about Cholplay to be is it will help you with your emotional labor.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
That's what I think.
Yes, your empathy, emotional labor.
I got very lucky.
Like my grandmother had Alzheimer's when I was a kid, so I learned what it was like to take care of somebody that maybe like is, with respect, respectfully, you know, like their faculties are going away.
So I had, that was put on me early, so I was like empathetic to that.
So learning that is definitely, yeah, it's a certain kind of intelligent, you know, and I think we need to up that.
Men need to up that completely.
We're always told to be cold and stoic and things like that, but you got to go back, way back.
When you had like, you feel for your person, you know, you have to feel for everybody.
But if you feel for your person, what they're going through, even on little things.
I wrote this book because I read a book about a guy that just didn't put his, like,
his glass in the sink when his wife would ask him for years.
And she divorced him because of that.
So just like taking in what people want from you,
and if you know what makes people upset,
then you know what makes them happy.
And just doing that thing and putting your arms around it
instead of your head around it,
I think like you'll be much better off, you know.
Joy player is available everywhere you get books right now.
Tell them what to follow you, Jordan.
You can follow me on Instagram.
I'm one of one.
My name's Jordan Carlos.
Follow me there.
I'm also,
my website's
Jordan Carloscomic.com.
I'm on all the things,
the TikTok and all that.
So this has been amazing.
Thank you so much, y'all.
I really appreciate it.
My guy, Jordan Carlos,
Chorplay is out right now,
man, go pick it up.
It might save your marriage.
It might save your marriage.
The marriage saving magic
you're getting your head out your ass.
Thank you for joining us, Jordan.
Thank you.
Oh, it's the breakfast club.
Oh, no.
You're on finish or y'all done?
Next Monday, our 2026 IHeart Podcast Awards are happening live in South by Southwest.
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You know Roll Doll.
He thought up Willie Wonka and the BFG.
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You probably won't believe it either.
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Okay, I don't think that's true.
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I was a spy.
Listen to The Secret World of Roll Doll on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Hey, I'm Jay Chetty, host of the On Purpose podcast.
My latest episode is with Hillary Duff, singer, actress and multi-platinum artist.
You desire in family like this picture, and that's not reality.
My sister and I don't speak.
It's definitely a very painful part of my life.
And I hope it's not forever, but it's for right now.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Get your podcasts.
I'm Clayton Eckerd.
In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
But here's the thing.
Bachelor fans hated him.
If I could press a button and rewind it all I would.
That's when his life took a disturbing turn.
A one-night stand would end in a courtroom.
The media is here.
This case has gone viral.
The dating contract.
Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you.
This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to Love Trapped on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Amanda Knox, and in the new podcast, Doubt, the case of Lucy Lettby, we unpack the story of an unimaginable tragedy that gripped the UK in 2023.
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
The evidence has been made to fit.
The moment you look at the whole picture, the case collapsed.
What if the truth was disguised by a story we chose to believe?
Oh my God. I think she might be innocent.
Listen to Doubt, the case of Lucy Lettby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.
