The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family +More

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

Today on The Breakfast Club, Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family. Listen For More!YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. On the podcast health stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night. I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally, a double board certified physician. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I Have Scurvy at 3 a.m? And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes. In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic. How preventable is type two?

Extremely. Listen to Health Stuff on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night. Along the central Texas plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense, strange accidents, and brutal murders. In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad. Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people, There are people out there that absolutely know what happened. Listen to Paper Ghosts, the Texas Teen Murders, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood,

a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic that comes of all time? You get Desi Arnest. On the podcast star in Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines waiting for a face like hours on screen. Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people. horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airlines. The most Texas story ever. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Two rich young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead and the other tried for murder three times.

It starts with a dream, a nature reserve, and a spectacular. new home but little by little they lose it they actually lose it they sort of went nuts until one night everything spins out of control listen to hell in heaven on the iHeartRadio app

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts morning everybody I wake up wake your breakfast club morning everybody is the y'all done morning everybody is the J. N.V. Just hilarious. Shalameen the guy. We are the Breakfast Club.

We got some special guests and family members with us this morning. Yes, indeed. We got Lil Rale. He's back here. What up, Little Rale? We have Reagan Gomez, Tabitha, Brown, and Anna Marie Horsford. Welcome. Nice for having us. No movie. Unexpected Christmas. That's right. Now, this movie takes a lot of turns.

Yes, it does. That takes a lot of turns. Well, break down the movie because it comes out this Friday for people that want to go check this movie out. What are they expected in this unexpected? Christmas movie. If I'm giving it away, though. Correct. Kick us off.

They're going to do it a million times. Yeah, but it's tough. This one tells a lot. It's such a conversation piece. And like I be playing Richard is, I kind of got his back most of time. So I'm trying to have to say stuff without telling people. But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny.

It's a lot of drama in it. But the drama end up making sense. And then you see people come. It's healthy drama. It has love in it. It has favorite. and it has food in it but it is

this is a different twist than you've seen in other Christmas movies and that's why I really love that's why I wanted to do it in the first place that's a little New York, a little LA a little erectile dysfunction God damn and we want to tell the whole movie I'm just saying

why did black family movies got to have so much drama because black families got so much drama but as long as there's resolution that's very true That means we're making something good for the black family. That's the part. And, you know, people come home for the holidays and you might not have seen your family

all year and you've been mad at them about something. But now you see them at the table. It's like, oh, we're going to talk about this right now. That's life. And that's about to come up because we've got a few more weeks. We've got Thanksgiving. There you go. There you go.

For my family. You know, so this movie is going to help me, do it. That's right. Yes, it's a healthy drama. Absolutely. Well, don't bring a lot of company with you. If you want to tell the truth, because black people don't like telling them.

Oh, she got a new home family on the other side. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, because my husband is half Mexicans. So they, oh. He's going to imagine the drama at the holidays. They're talking, you won't know what they're talking about. You just want to get that, jeep that, me, that.

Yeah. Yeah. I got one Spanish word for this. See, that's why you got to learn. You got to learn. I'm trying. They have those. Apps now.

You can put it in your hair. And you don't have to tell them you know what they're saying. There you go. Oh, that's the way. You can hear what they're saying. Spanish and your ear app will tell you they're going to look at the baby. Make sure it's his. Okay.

You know, check the toes and the ears and stuff like that. Ah, jeez. A little bit, not a lot. A little bit. You got your last name going on. It is. It is. Well, like a lot of Puerto Ricans.

A lot of us don't speak Spanish. So, yeah. But I am. My mom's Puerto Rican for sure. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Ms. Postford's looking at you, like, I'm just, I'm just real. I'm a Dominican.

And my mother said, and I said, how come you didn't teach her Spanish? She said, in case I wanted to say something bad about your father. Oh. I want you to know. I didn't even know that about you. Yeah, I got secrets. Ms. Postman, I want to ask you, you've been part of so many multiple generations in this. Yes.

Can you believe it? Yes, I can. How do you stay connected to, like, every generation of storytellers and audiences? I think being your authentic self that they know is something true, you know. I mean, I don't have Tourette's, but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet. You say, I don't have Tourette's right. But, you know, there were always children who would say something and you would look. You know, one time my mother took me to this friend's house and I said, excuse me, do you know you walk like a woman?

and my mother said her hand was so close to my face. He said, no, no. Do I? He said, show me. I said, you want me to show you how you are? And he was a little special. Jesus.

What you mean, special? Okay, I got you. So you have kids that just say that. So somebody identifies with being a little off. You know what I mean? And my mother would say, she fell on our head before she was born,

so you have to excuse anything. that comes out her mouth. Yes, ma'am. And I said, oh, I didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might say something that's inappropriate. And I think that's what it connects with every generation, you know. I mean, because we don't know when we do these things, what the audience is going to like.

We really don't know which movie, you know. I had no idea if Friday was going to be as big as it was. You don't know. It's so interesting. You don't know. Have they called you for the new one? Listen, I knew one been going for 24 years.

Did they film a year? 24 years, okay? Yeah. I want to ask, I know we're here to talk about Unpected Christmas, but whatever you all learned from Ms. Horsford. Let's start with you. Oh, listen. Oh, yeah.

I just needed to know. I know this was fun on, said. It was amazing on Seth. The one thing I learned is I can't wait to get older and say whatever I really did. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right.

Because all people just laugh and they'd be like, oh, she's so cute. She don't never lie. You know, she don't lie. She ain't got to rest, but she tell the truth. Okay, that's what she said. But also, like, what she just said, being your authentic self promotes longevity, right? I met her, we met like 20, maybe like 24 years ago. And I was living in North Carolina and went to a theater festival in Atlanta with a

mentor and he introduced me to her and she was so kind to me and she told me then you just got to keep you know being consistent keep pursuing it and one day it'll happen and so when I saw her on set I reminded her that I had met her I was completely different then you know I had some little locks in my hair I was like straight out of you know coming from Greensboro hosting and it was just like it was surreal for me to like be on the set with someone who I consider like a living legend she's an icon for so many of us. But, yeah, I say longevity is one of the things that I've been blessed to witness with you. About you, real.

You know, so we did vacation friends together when she played my mom. And, you know, my mother, one of her favorite shows was A-Man. Yeah. Right. And so, like, working with her was like, like, I didn't realize how funny she was. And she ended up, you don't know this, but when we shoot vacation friends, you literally did something like my mom. It wasn't in the script. I think I was like, my character was acting like he was kind of embarrassed.

And he's like, so if you're embarrassed by me, I just go home then. You know, it was, but it was almost surreal. But, like, oh, wow. But, like, she, some people just got it. You know what I'm saying? And so, like, just being on set with you and just, like, watching you do this thing where you don't even have to say words. You could just make a face.

And to me, that's a skill set, too. Like, I think, like, somebody like you and David Allen Greer, who I look at, that people just make, their reactions is more than a word. And so that's one of the things I learned from just work with you. Also, you're just amazing. And you're so honest, you make me laugh at all. I don't know what she's going to say half the time. And I love it.

That's what I loved. What you, Greg? Well, I met Ms. Anna when I was 14 years old, the parenthood and the Wayne's brothers started off the WB network back in the day. So I've known her for the majority of my career, 30 years in my career. And what Tabitha said is so true Like Miss Anna reminds me of that time When I was around Robert Townsend

And all of these folks who had been grinding Since the 60s and the 70s And the lessons that they give us Like she is a treasure A national treasure And I've never worked with her So this has just been amazing You being my mama

That's right, that's right Your father was nice Listen one thing she's going to do Is check out of father because she told me, she was like, hey, your daddy. Somebody tell him you say hi. Yes. So, Ms. Holford, what's the biggest lesson you try to instill in just people about longevity and grace?

I think you can't be distracted by racism, other people's definition of you, your truth. If you just know that you are here for purpose and nobody can take that from you, you know what I'm saying? When people say you didn't get your flowers, I got my flowers, you know, because I've been working much longer. I ask God for one. I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress. Give me one job because, you know, nobody believed it except your mother at first. And then you get the one job and you say, oh, well, that wasn't bad.

And then you get another. I still, every time I get a job, it's like the first one. Really? Yeah, because somebody believes in you. I mean, somebody, it's not hard, you know, and you look at other people. I was telling Jess, I was following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful and the this. And I really feel it because you know, say, look at that.

It's something you didn't think of. But you know it's the truth. And I think if you just understand that we're in a world that there's enough for everybody. Everybody can have 500 fans. Well, now you've got more than 500. You can have, you know, millions or whatever. But just know that even if you don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching you in your neighborhood, your parents, your godparents.

Somebody's watching you and just make sure you feel good at the end of the night. You know what I mean? When people talk about race, I forget that. You know, we got a story to tell. There ain't no mistakes. How do you decide what parts you pick? because when you pick your roles, they're not the same. Amen, it's not like Friday, which is not like this.

I was a virtuous woman, okay? And somebody tried to sell a nasty story, and I said, what? The editor called my press agency, somebody is trying to say a terrible story about her. I said, that is not true. So you better pick the roles that people, you know, because people really believe, black people.

Now, I don't know about white people. Black people believe. Every goddamn day. Every thing you do. There is no division between reality and TV. How's your husband and I do stay in touch with Clifted.

I said he's fine. I got a new husband now. In this movie, Rico's my new husband. Rico, I have a few other husbands in between. I can't remember all of them. But they're all good to me. They're all good to me. But it's just that you have a brand, even if

you don't know you have a brand. And my brand is kind of decent human being who's honest. You know what I mean? Just to be honest with, even if the line is, I have gone up for things. I said, this is not me. Not me. No. My people won't believe it.

And I don't believe it. Even in acting, though? Even in acting, no. There's one. And I just said, I can't do. I said the words can't even come out my mouth. You know, it was low, low, low. Somebody else got it, a friend of mine.

and I was happy for her. But no, everything is not for you. I always believe that what we get, the roles we get, it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there. It's not just the role. God gives everybody a talent. And the talent is so that you can use

to get to affect the people you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm supposed to go to Georgia, there are other people I'm supposed to meet a long way in Georgia. It's not just the movie, you know, It's somebody else who's life I'm supposed to be affecting.

Wow. So in this film, who did you meet? I met all these colored people. Let me just say, she had a revelation because girlfriend didn't know all of this mess was going on. She did not know. And then I can't say because I haven't seen the completed movie yet. But there was one scene that I felt really strong

and the producers allowed me to do some improvisation on it when the child comes back, you know, because children like to grow up and then kind of read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong. You're all shaking your head. Forget that. No parent want no

report card. We don't want a report car. We did the best we could. We fed you. Change of nasty diapers. Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is some things you get right, some You know, you'd be perfect, but parent is not perfect.

And when that scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I hope it addresses that issue where, no, no, no, you're going to tell me, but let me just tell you a little something, too. Because I don't think we look, we only look from one perspective, what you didn't do for me. Well, let me tell you what you didn't do for me, you know, because nobody gives you the handbook. compare thing. And it's still in there too. It's like all of us has been doing like this press run

that's one of the most important parts of the movie is, you know, I don't know who said it, but like I, she's a woman too. She's a, like, yeah. We're human. You're human. And so like it's still, it's, when you see it,

you'll see up to you. Okay. And you know, I was going to say one of the things that Ms. Anna was talking about and I don't want to give too much away, but we're so used to our mothers and elders telling us do what I say just do it don't ever talk back

to me but when you become an adult you do have questions about things that happen to you and one of the things that I love is the scene with you and Dominique Perry who's not here she loves the show too she plays my sister but she confronts her mother and her without giving too much away

her mother listens and apologizes and that is something that I really hope folks take away from this you can always apologize and do better so that's one of the things I love about this film. I apologize to my kids all the time. And I agree with everything y'all saying

because I think that we often forget our parents had a life before they were. Yes. They were just a girl and a guy. Yeah, that's very interesting. I at one point told my parents, I said, I want to know who you were before you became my mother and father. So what I

did is I went back to both of their hometown and just to see who they were because I said, oh, and then I interviewed them. because I didn't know and my mother surprised me a lot

I said how many men you had mama and the poor cameraman said Anna that's your mother I said I know but I wanted and she said three but you know after they all come out the same they all the same and I said oh okay

I said well what would you say if your daughter had a lot more than that she said if it took a hundred men to make my daughter happy I'm happy for her And I said, who is this woman? I mean, isn't that interesting? Your dad wouldn't say that. No, hang out.

Took a hundred brothers. But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are. You know, they start. And then at a certain point, if you're lucky enough to have your parents live long enough because a lot of us lose them, you become the parent to this child. And you see, oh, oh, the kindness, the kindness, you know. It's just, it's so interesting that, and I think I'm blessed, and we all are blessed to be able to have a fantasy of,

I want to be an actor, I want to be a perform, I want to stand on state, and then you get to have it done. And people know you. I mean, every other black person in America, especially up, damn, knows me. Girl, that's you. I said, how you know it's me? You know it's me.

You know it's me. And you meet them how they meet you in the house, you know? Because I have been in your living room. That's right. You know, a bedroom. That's right. All over on the radio and your car. You know, for a long time.

So I can't laugh or talk too loud because they know me. Girl, that's your voice? I knew that was you. I said, girl, you look like yourself. I said, stop it. This movie is going to empower a lot of people over the holidays to have those conversation. You know, one of the, one of my first breakthroughs in therapy was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for things he never taught me. And so when we had a conversation and he

started telling me about his own issues and he tried to commit suicide and he was on, you know, different medication for his mental health. When if I realized all that, it gave me a level of grace for him that I didn't even know I had. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And you're lucky if we got a chance to look at them like that. That's right. That's wow. Well, also I have a conversation with that. That's One of my struggles now is that, you know, my dad has dementia, and it's like, you know, going through therapy and, like, recognizing some moments where, like, dang, he wasn't. I had to get to a point where I understood, not even just my dad, just people who love me, they wasn't necessarily hating that they didn't believe in me. They was scared for me. And I was taking a chance doing something nobody did.

So it was more or less a protection thing. It wasn't that they didn't believe in you. They just didn't want you to be hurt. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what a trade school, real? Yeah. That's familiar to them.

You know, you see people who work trades all the time. Same with, like, with me, I wanted to be an actress since I was a little girl, but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my mama was like, okay, I know you want to do that, but you also make clothes. So my great-great-aunt was the town seamstress. So she said, won't you go to school for fashion design? Because if the acting thing don't work out, then you'll have that. It wasn't that she was discouraging me.

She was just telling me, like, I know, we know what that looks like. you can actually do that. So, you know. Let me ask you, how would you be with your kids, right? Because the same thing with me, right? My mom said, get a job with a hat. That was her thing. Get a job with a hat.

Meaning you work for 20 years. You get retirement and you're covered, right? When I was a DJ, they thought the DJ thing was cute until after I graduated from college and I still did it. I was like, I had enough's enough. But now I look at it and I'm like, I would never be that, right? But then I look at if my son 10 years ago said, dad, I want to be a gamer.

I'd be like, boy, if you don't get the comedy. It's a new world. When you look at some of these games. It's a new world. And they're making $30, $40 million a year. You could get scholarships to college now doing gaming all around the world. Oh, yeah, it's a different world. And I think you have to.

I mean, it's really interesting. Children, you know, when they're looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder. When God talks to you, he tells you, you know. Because there's a little girl like Tabith. I said, Mommy, I got to go to Hollywood. And I would practice walking down the steps. of course I would fall a lot because I had on heels

and she said your ass gonna be broken by the time you get to Hollywood and one time I was going somewhere and my back was out I said she was right she was right that was 100 years after

but God tells you what you are here for what you are here for and I remember one time I said oh my mother said oh you look just like a lamppost girl

and I said oh I'm a real actress I was about four or five I didn't know what a lamppost girl was. It was a prostitute in Santa Domingo. But I thought, wow, I convinced her. Because I had put my hat on and I had something else. And she said, oh, and I'm just like a lamppost girl. And I said, she didn't know what's me.

I'm a lamppost girl. No, mother. I never did. I never became one. But I acted like one. But again, God talks to you. He tells you what you came here for. There are no mistakes.

Even though you don't have any reference, this one wasn't that, this one wasn't that. Listen to that voice. Make that voice louder than any outside voice coming to you. Because they don't know. You know, when your parents said, why are you getting to me? Well, my family, I had to like, I remember when they were being combative to it, but I'm like, well, y'all raised me and told me I could do anything. Right.

So you raised me too good. So I can't listen to what you're saying. Right. You know what I mean? Like, it's really interesting. But once again, it came out of fear, right? Yeah. One of the things I love about my family is that they end up apologizing.

That's right. Like, when I first moved to New York and I got my first show, they literally threw a dinner together and apologizing. Amazing. That's amazing. And so now to this point, they are crazy supportive. Like, you see them with little real shirts. We're little real family. You're teaching them also.

And I think for our children, we always look at them as ours, hours, little us is. But they grow up and they grow into their own people. And then one day you need their help. You need their advice and you realize, oh, they're part of my community. And it does flip as your parents get older. My mother is in her 70s and it's very much like, girl, why you need? On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night. Yes, I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.

And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I Have Scurvy at 3 a.m? On Health Stuff, we're talking about health in a different. different way. It's not only about what we can do to improve our health, but also what our health says about us and the way we're living. Like our episode where we look at diabetes. In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic. How preventable is type 2? Extremely. Or our in-depth analysis of how incredible mangoes are. Oh, it's hard to explain to the rest of the world Like, your mangoes are fine because mangoes are incredible, but like, you don't even know.

You don't know. You don't know. It's going to be a fun ride. So tune in. Listen to health stuff on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time? You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most. importantly, the first Latino to break primetime wide open.

I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others. But for me, I saw myself in his story. From plening canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways. On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life, the moments it has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like hours on screen. This is the story of how one-man spotlight lit the path for so many others and

how we carry his legacy today. Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama. That's part of the MyCultura podcast network available on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. She said, Johnny. The kids didn't come home last night. Along the central Texas planes, teens are dying. Suicides that don't make sense. Strange accidents. and brutal murders. In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of breaking bad. Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.

There are people out there that absolutely know what happened. Listen to paper ghosts, the Texas teen murders, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money.

And now we're back making this new podcast called business history about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.

The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses,

along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the Elections Chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In the new podcast, In broadcast, Hell in Heaven, two young Americans moved to the Costa Rican jungle to start over. But one will end up dead, the other tried for murder. Not once.

People went wild. Not twice. Stunned. But three times. John and Ann Bender are rich and attractive, and they're devoted to each other. They create a nature reserve and build a spectacular circular home, high on the top of a hill but little by little

their dream starts to crumble and our couple retreat from reality they lose it they actually lose it they sort of went nuts until one night everything spins out of control listen to hell in heaven

on the iHeart radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts do what I told you to do You know, talking back and all of that. So life is very interesting. And also, you're a multi-millionaire now, Rael. They're going to wear t-shirts that say a little around now. Yeah, I mean, that's, but it wasn't there at first.

But you tell them they can't ask for loans either. There you go. So don't ask me for no money. I said you know they don't pay me that money. But it's tough. I'm good at saying no, but like I got like that beautiful old black man in me. Yeah. People could know what I have.

Right. That don't mean I'm going to give it to you. Oh, okay. But you good. I have strength in that. Like, I'm good at that. Like, that's easy. Like, I don't mind.

You see it. Yeah. That doesn't mean, I'm going to give it to. You're going to be a good grandfather. A hundred percent. You're going to be a great grandfather. I look forward to being a grandfather. I mean, I don't want anybody to get pregnant.

No, but yeah. But I do, I tell people all the time, like, yeah, I am in my old black man cross my leg era. There you go. Who last time you said no, like, no? Yeah. I don't know what, yesterday maybe? Like, I don't mind saying no. Like, I'm good because this is thinking about this, if anybody want to ask you for money

anything, be that person that I love irritating people where they forget that they ask me, right? If you were asking me, then I'm going to have to tell you about yourself. If you coming at me, it's going to be like, you know something that, I don't need it? Well, why did you call me? You're going to do all that, never mind. Cool.

That's why I respect the people that can take it. The ones it'd be like, because y'all know it's that season. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. That's the season. Yes, it is. You need a season. It's always that season when you be the season. You're around.

Reagan, I want to go back to what you were saying earlier about how we were raised. You know what I mean? And how we were, because I was raised two-parent home, but it's like, you don't ask me why. You don't, you know, you do what I say. And that's just what it is, right? And now I have a 13-year-old, right? And we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why, but I let him ask me why because he wants to know. Yeah.

Does he call you, bruh? Brough. Me, too. He tried. Wait up. I called him. I called him brother. I tried that.

He had a little phase where he was bruh. You know what I mean? And then I'm like, all right, I'm put you on your neck. You know what I mean? But I let him, you know, as he, as I'm raising him, ask questions. Like, you know, because, and then I even talked to my mom, like, mom, I remember we couldn't even ask you why, you know? And what she says is like, I'm sorry because that's how I was taught.

Yeah. Your grandmother taught me that, you know? And it was not. Abusive it wasn't that she was trying to be mean, but they were trying to instill that, I guess, that respect. Yes. Right? And some people mistake it as fear.

You know, no, she didn't want me to fear her, but I feared them consequences. Yeah, I think, you know. And so my son now is I'm trying to find a balance between the man's me too, got damn many questions. Exactly. You don't want him to be too curious, but you need to be curious in life. You know, you're preparing him to be a young man out in the world.

You don't want him to just do what people tell him to do. You want him to ask questions, you know, so you're doing the right thing. And have a voice. Yeah. See, you know, you got to be careful with that rope, though, man. Especially with teenagers because they do get, they get smart. They get it. Yeah. They're like, hey, fam, look, now, I get it.

Yeah. You're hurt. Mm-hmm. But you don't just walk off while I'm talking to you. Right. You know what I mean? But that's a part of because they do have a sense of freedom. Like, especially like a lot of us who created these better lives for our children.

I mean, my daughter said something. That was so real one time. And I had to own that, too. I'm like, because, you know, we got whatever our house is. And we're bored. I'm like, you got a pool, is a theater. What do you mean you're bored? Just, there's so much to do here.

You bored. But she's like, with dad, I was born into this type of life. Damn, damn. But then I had to look at them. I'm like, yeah, it is a perspective of, I'm from the west side of Chicago that had to play with the fire hydrant outside. And the wrong pool we had. We don't know if it was clean because people were in there with their regular outfits. Yeah.

So, like, you know what I mean? So, like, yes, you're like, and I was like, oh, yeah, I guess this is great to me. Yeah. Because this is what I wish I had. Right. I mean, I was scared to go outside most of the time because it was crazy this going on. But that was one of those things where you do give them the freedom. But it also is this balance because it's like, you know, there's still, I'm still your dad.

It's still your mom. And you can't, I hear you. You can't be talking crazy. Right. You got an opinion. Cool. It's the way you say it. That's when your parents got to come out, right?

When they talk crazy and turn around, What would you apply to do? You probably get a frying pan, right? Today, right? You've got to actually hit him, but just, we've been checked before. I remember, like, my dad, you know, he had a new job and his check was short one time.

And, you know, we was being kids, like, oh, man, because he was supposed to take us a piece of hut. You know, it was a big deal to us. And we was, we was fussing. My mama pulled us to the side and was like, look, that's your dad, but that's my husband. That's right. Would you ever disrespect to my day?

Oh, that's a big thing. His check was short. Yeah. It is what it is. Wherever he take us is what we're going to do. You go in there and you give him a hug right now. There you go. And I'll never forget that moment because I was like, like, when she said, that's my husband.

I didn't even think about that as the kid. And you're not just going to be talking to him any kind of way. I don't talk to my wife like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's very real. And that happens a lot, especially with teenage girls. Oh, yeah, with the moms thing.

Actually, that was one of the points that, Ms. Anna, I heard you say on the red carpet that a lot of your mother roles, you had sons. and this is the first time you had daughters and the difference in the conflict between having a conflict with the son and daughters. To you. Yes. They are easier.

Daughters are everything. Oh, okay. What? My daughter will run my bag. Oh, yeah. Look, and you're supposed to be grounding her. I got four. I got four daughters.

Oh, Lord. The oldest is 24. Okay. Youngest is four. Oh, wow. If I'm shoveling snow, my daughters would be like, come on, dad, let's do it. Myself.

I was like that. I was like that. Video games, make this out the window. Wow. Dad, you're all right? No, I'm dying. This is so true. I'm a big daddy's girl.

My daddy could do no wrong. I remember, like, being mad at my mama because the way she might have talked to my daddy if they were having to disagree. Like, when my parents divorced, I thought, like, I could live with my mama. I got so sick that I had to go live with my daddy. I was like, I love you, mama,

but I'm going to go to stay. with my daddy. Wow. I come and see you. I got to go stay with my daddy. And your mama still talk to you after that? Yeah. I mean, we was in small tales, so she won't but 10 minutes away. I was raised and seeing my daddy every single day.

And I'm in ninth grade when they, you know, divorce and separated. It felt like my world collapsed. Yeah. And I mean, I love my mama. She was my best friend too. But me and my daddy, like, we like, to this day, I talk to him every day. When I see, like, when I don't see him for a while, I start feeling like something ain't right so it whoever came up with mama's boy or you know daddy's girl that it came from a real

place yeah what do daddy first of all that's a beautiful i pray my daughters have that connection with me how do what do daddies have to do to ensure that i think create an environment that makes them feel safe yeah makes them feel heard and seen uh you know teach them things that the world will try to teach them later yeah like my daddy is a big talker he you honey he He would talk. I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, Daddy, you'd be talking a lot. But now, you're for real. But now I'd be like telling my kids something.

I'd be like, oh, my God, my daddy told me that. Like, it stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know, because you young, you think little stupid stuff sometimes. He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy didn't have no sons. He just had two girls. So he taught me a lot of things that you would teach, you know, quote-unquote boys, right? He taught me how to, you know, change the old.

change tires look at all your stuff, your time and build all the things that I think that he would have taught a son but I use a, listen my husband did not have a father, I taught my husband how to check the old. Interesting, yeah, that's old.

He taught me how to be loved by man. Yeah, right? So, you know, it also caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband. We laugh about it now. I used to be like, I ain't never see my mama pump gas, but you're talking about. I can I ain't got no gas in it. Like, when my mama pump her gas,

I was like, well, my dear, they ain't never let my mama pump her as, you know? Just like he just, he takes care of you in a way that makes you feel like he is the best man in the world. It is right, beautiful thing. And there's an unspoken, I don't know when it comes for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man, there's a safety vow that you can always run to daddy. That's right. You don't even have to talk. You don't even have to talk.

You just hold that leg or that foot. and my big deal is I never wanted to I didn't want to disappoint the thought of disappointing my father they gave me a hard time on Amen after the second year or something and they didn't want to come through

with the money that they had promised and I said you know it's okay you all got it I don't have to do it ever again because I have far exceeded any expectation that anybody had for me so I can go back uptown live in one of his houses, one of the rooms.

He might complain about some rent. But I just felt I got a daddy who will take care of me. That's the rest of my life. There's something. And I don't know if they tell you something or you just feel it. There's a feeling. And all of a sudden, this last week I've been thinking about when he used to see me, he used to smile.

I used to make him smile all the time. And I said, what was that about? You know, oh, Anna. You know, and I got a chance to bring him out to, Hollywood when I was still on the show and he was so grateful then he said tell your father I said daddy stop Sherman Hemsley it's not my father

you are my father he got so involved in this thing and I said it's something that you feel that's why you tell women I just feel so bad for any man who walks away yeah yeah you're not see that because it's a

parenthood is a two-party check it's a check that has to be signed by mommy and daddy whether you know them or not whether he pays child support or not the child needs those two signatures they need to know wow my nose looks like yours

my eyes look like yours you say that or daddy gets a joke and why you two don't have to be together but that child needs to know he comes from two forces they came together to create this

and like you said and sometimes it's not talk it's sometimes just a feeling when they look at you and you say, oh, let me ask you all something, too, because that's something that's not talked about enough, right? Because sometimes you do have some young women, if they dad wasn't around, and I've seen them, like, make up a version of it, right? Yeah.

Well, it's a male, my grandfather, but it's not the same thing. No, it's not, yeah. It's literally not the same thing, the connection you have with your dad. Right. And you know what? For me, my oldest is 18. She's a freshman in college. Hi, honey.

But even taking her to college and dropping her off. and my husband was a wreck when we got on the plane and came on without her and I'm like, you know, I'm independent I've been working since I was 14th I'm like, she's good, she's good, he's like but if something happens, I can't just get to her

and I'm like, wow, wow, that's a real, yeah. And as his wife, as his wife because he did, his father was not around either but seeing the man that he is and the father that he is, it just made me fall more in love with him. That's real when you're saying,

And my daughter doing college business now, and I feel the same way. It's like she got to be somewhere where the village can get to her quick before I can. See, my daughter went to NYU, so it was right there and I loved it. But now on the other side, my son go to University of Miami. It was like, deuces. I'm like, aye, bro. Yeah. It was totally different.

It's different. White women galore. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I was totally different. But my daughter? You play football, Ms.

Hoffford. Oh, your son is an athlete? My play soccer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But how did your wife, now, how did your wife handle this son? Right, because it's the opposite. That part. I'm going to school.

They speak all the time. They FaceTime all the time. Okay. But for me, I remember the first time I called my daughter, she didn't answer, right? I jet to the city. She was sleeping. I jet to the city, and I wild on her so bad. Oh, my God.

I was like, I need to keep to this room. Justin Cakes. Because if something happens, I need to get in here. I'm like, my wife looked at me like. She's living her life. She's living her. She has classes. It takes time.

It took time. It took time. It was sophomore year, too. This was COVID. And see, the bad thing about New York is I went to Hampton, right? So Hampton has a campus. I've heard. New York City is the campus.

New York City is the campus. But she's going to, oh, she's hanging out with. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah, right. They're just like me when I was going on. They're like, just like you did. Just like you did.

You know, now it's her turn. It's her turn. That's what scares them though. Yeah. Just like we did. You know she'd be right. I think the part about that and what I had to learn is that

my daughter, my children are not me. They're not going to do the exact same thing that I did and I'm going to think the way that I thought. I think that's where I made a lot of mistakes in my parenting. Like, you know, learning with my daughter because I was like, now I know what I was thinking

when I was at age. And so I was projecting my fears of my own past upon her. And that wasn't fair for her, right? And now that she's 24, we've talked about it. And it's some stuff that I carry parent guilt for. And she'd be like, Mama, I don't even remember what you're talking about. And I'm like, oh, but thank you anyway for letting Mommy get it out.

Yeah. But our children, we give birth to them. God trust us to bring them here. Yeah. But they are not us. Yeah, I told my daughter a couple days ago, because, you know, she's been driving. She got a car now. You know, she goes out and she comes home responsibly.

She got a job and stuff like that. And I said, you know what I love? that I can trust you. It's just a feeling that you get, you know, you can trust your child as a parent. I don't know, it's just everything. Can I say one thing to you about step-parents and stuff like that?

You have to, even if you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother, understand that that child is walking around with the DNA from that other person. And they need to replenish. that energy that's in them because again even if I'm mad at you, don't get

one guy who I was working with on Amen and his father was my father's doctor and I was so excited to say oh your father's so and so when you tell him he said I don't talk to him and I said why and he said I don't want

to make my mother mad and I said no your mother knows him but the conflict because the father might have done the mother wrong You know, she did. But the idea is, no, she picked him. She picked him. And it's okay.

So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by talking to your father, you know. So we have to be really open and saying, even though I don't like, I want you to continue to like. If you can, just be gentle. Just if he wants to send a card or encourage him sometimes. Just call your father. Say hello.

And don't use the kids. Don't, yeah, and I don't know where we're doing it. Well, this is just with your book, too, and it's funny because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean, co-parenting is such a, it's a humbling experience where you have to take your personal feelings out of it for those kids. It has to go. And then if you know, you're able to, you know, one of the things I love, you know, with my ex-wife was that we was able to have a real conversation at some point when we put all the ego stuff to the side. Once we did that, it was like, all right, we can talk about what we did wrong. Yeah.

If you want to just get that, let's just get that out of the way. Because we ain't going to get back together. Let's just talk about it. There's no point of being, like, we were cool at one point. Right. You know what I'm saying? So, like, when you do that and then you just focus on those children, you know, it's weird because sometimes it's hard for, like, even when you have a newer person, they could get a little irritated with your co-parenting relationship. They're like, fam, I'm keeping the peace.

Yes. I hear you. Yes. Listen. Yeah. Yeah. This is cool. Yes.

Yes. Because it wasn't cool at one time. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. They got to go somewhere. I know. Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the movie and everything we're talking about now.

Do you personally believe that family should always be forgiven? I know you're talking about step-parents, but just... No. I think it depends. Yeah. It depends on the class. That last month, I don't know too much. That last month.

That's just... It depends. It really depends. That's a good question. Yeah. It depends. I believe everyone can be forgiven, right? Forgiveness is not for the other person.

It's for you. It's for yourself. And so forgiveness, even in family, doesn't mean we have to be together. Right. It doesn't mean that you have to be back in my life. It just means I have forgiven you and I'm going about my business. Right. You got some deep pain, though, like from some family members that, you know, you just can't reverse.

Especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness. If they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard for even if you want to forgive. But that's the thing about forgiveness. When it's for you, you don't have to say it to that person. It's so that you can move forward in your life without hindrance. That's true. Right? Because sometimes you can hold something against someone.

And it hurts you. It holds you back, right? You can't move forward. So it's not for them, right? Especially because we've all been hurt. And there's some things that people do that feels like that is, it can't be forgiven. Like, it just can't.

But to them, they may go to, you know, they rest in place feeling like you never forgave them. And that's their business to feel. For you to live your life in peace, forgiveness has to live in your heart. Yeah. You got to trust, I mean, depending if you're a person of faith, but you just got to trust.

God, let God do a God. Yeah. Like, I think we really don't understand how much we have to mind our own business when it just come to faith. I don't need to see God's vengeance on you. Whatever God does with you, that's just what, because God may forgive you and not even be as angry as I want God to be as God. Right, right.

It's all of our father. So it's like, I'm doing this because I went, I went to see a play called Oh, Happy Day that's out here. Oh, wow. Oh, man, it's so good. And it's a great song they have really with that subject is, you know, it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exactly. I heard yesterday, but it's like, can you

forgive the person or situation that hurt you the most? And it was God asking that question to Jordan Cooper's character because that's how you move on. You got to move. You can't sit in that. You know what I mean? Because it really affects you and you can't get like, it ain't about he's seeing

what I don't need nothing from you. I don't need you to say it is what it is. I forgive you and we ain't got to talk again. See, I wonder what that looks like though. I wonder what it looks like forgiving somebody to training. talk to you know what I mean like like what does that look like you just gone about your business it looks like freedom freedom feels like let's have that look it's a feeling yeah you see it looks and feels like joy happiness like you can see somebody be like they didn't went through all there

and they still looking yeah they still showing up because it takes a lot of energy to hold on to that to that anger or whatever it is so you're absolutely right and also like when you think about like matters of the heart you know most people hurt you they hurt your heart right you know if you think forgiveness is something that has to happen it's not about like it hurt your feelings it hurt your heart yeah so whether that whatever that thing was say it was a past relationship the longer you hold the grudge the longer you block that part of the heart for you to be loved there you go there that's beautiful we have to release so that we can get what God has for us There you go.

Oh, this is an unexpected interview. Hey. Hey. Come on for seven. Unexpected Christmas in theaters this Friday. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Sound track out right now.

Sound track out right now. It's the breakfast club. Good morning. Yeah. Oh, no. Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up. The breakfast club.

You're all finished or y'all done? On the podcast health stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night. I'm Dr. Priyankawali, a double board certified physician. And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, do I have scurvy at 3 a.m. And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes. In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic.

How preventable is type 2? Extremely. Listen to health stuff on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night. Along the Central Texas Plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense, strange accidents, and brutal murders. In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad. Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.

There are people out there that absolutely know what happened. Listen to paper ghosts, the Texas teen murders. the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline is. the most Texas story ever.

Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time? You get Desi Arness. On the podcast star in Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderama, I'll take you on a journey to Desi's life,

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