The Breakfast Club - INTERVIEW: Sabrina Greenlee Talks 'Grant Me Vision,' Family, Faith & Forgiveness, Details On Attack + More

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

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Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water,

500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka Stan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-A-S-T-A-N on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best, and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing.

Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. like you to join us each week for our show, Civic Cipher. That's right. We discuss social issues, especially those that affect black and brown people, but in a way that informs and empowers all people. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to

police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other. So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jenny Garth, Jana Kramer, Amy Robach, and TJ Holmes bring you I Do Part 2, a one-of-a-kind experiment in podcasting to help you find love again.

Hey, I'm Jana Kramer. I'm Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone. I'm Amy Robach. And I'm TJ Holmes, and we are, well, not necessarily relationship experts. If you're ready to dive back into the dating pool and find lasting love, we want to help. Listen to I Do Part 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Wake that ass up in the morning.

The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha Guy. guy we are the breakfast club we got a special guest with us this morning yes indeed sabrina greenlee she has a new book grant me vision a journey of family faith and forgiveness and it's out right now good morning good morning good morning thank you for having me how are you good i feel good i feel amazing there you go now you are the mother of DeAndre Hopkins and man, what a story you have. What a journey. What a life you have lived and still living. Yes, absolutely. I'm still here. Now for those who may not know, you are blind, but you weren't born blind. You actually became blind after an acid attack in 2002.

Yes, I was brutally assaulted in 2002 by a young lady that unbeknownst to me, we were dating the same guy. And I was called to a place by him one day and I went out called my name screamed my name Sabrina and she threw a concoction of bleach and mixed with red devil eye she threw it on me 17 percent of my body uh was burned that day I fell to my knees and uh he actually took me to the gas station about three minutes away but eventually left me there to die what yeah why the gas station like that was i think that was the nearest the closest thing uh that he could find uh but it was it was just a such a terrifying moment for me and if it had not been for the gas attendant to you know call 9-1-1 and get me help uh i probably would have died that day jesus lord Lord have mercy. And this is a man that you were dating

that you thought loved you, liked you, and cared about you and just left you to die. Yeah. Yeah, DJ Envy, he literally was in my life for three and a half months. So, of course, I didn't know him per se and we really didn't know each other, but you couldn't tell me that that wasn't my man.

But, you know, he was somebody else's't my man and um but you know he was somebody else's man too and you never had words with the woman or nothing you had no clue no idea had no idea she existed I knew there was some people existed of course you know there were red flags but I was in a place where I didn't know my worth I didn't know who I was and so I overlooked a lot of things uh there were a lot of red flags. I mean, the lies, the manipulation. It was super present in the relationship early on, just, you know, saying he would be somewhere and he you know, he wasn't there when I got there. Oh, well, let me you know, well, I'm here. And it was like I you know how how how low was I to connect with somebody that you know eventually would have a say in almost you know taking my life. Damn the book is called Grant Me Vision so in that moment of finding out you were blind what was going through

your head? That moment that of course I was in a coma for a month and when I came out of the coma I was on a lot of medicines I remember them telling me that I would be on 50 different medicines for the rest of my life thank god I'm not on any of them now but just being blind and coming home to my four children was really really tough so even after I got the coma, I was addicted to morphine. I was in therapy. It was a lot of things that propelled me to get to the place I am now. But just being blind. Think about that. Coming home and, you know, at 31 years old, I left the house 12 o'clock, noon day, beautiful day, going to find my car my car and then a month later I come back to the same house the same children and you know I had allowed all these men to kind of come into our

lives in and out and here it is I'm just sitting there and it's just me and them now what do we do putting the pieces back together and totally blind so it was a lot of healing that had to take place. And it was scary. Like, I'm not going to lie. It was it was terrifying because you are blind and you can't feed your children. You don't know. You know, it's like it was I was stepping into unforeseen circumstances that we had never been in. And it was it was really tough. And then not only that, but just to sit there. So depression set in, anxiety. I was suicidal for about three and a half years. I actually knew exactly how I wanted to take my life. I had played this out in my head many, many times. How old were your kids at the time? My oldest was 14. Keisha was 14. Marcus was 13. DeAndre was 10 10 and my baby was four years old so I left my baby girl in the at the door that day screaming and kicking for me she wanted her mama and I was like go in the house I'll be right back I didn't come back for over a month who helped you during that time because it's it's you know when you have family members and friends it's it's easy to

help somebody for a week or two but you needed help for a lot longer so who was in your corner during that time I would say there was different people my mother was there my father was there people was coming in and out it was it was just not one person um you know how it is people bring the chicken yeah and you know and then when smoke clears there's no chicken and nothing so there were a lot of days that my children and I when smoke clears there's no chicken and nothing so there were a lot of days that my children and I were were just there by ourselves and had to fend for ourselves to be honest they had to grow up fast had to grow up really really fast see their mother in the back room super depressed um face swole I you know blind and they had to grow up really fast

they had to figure out like how to get to activities they had to grow up really fast. They had to figure out like how to get to activities. They had to sometimes feed themselves. And as a mother, that is the most depressing thing when you cannot do for your children. Right. Tough. Physically, of course, you know, you went through something, but you keep talking about the mental aspect of it.

How did you get out of that? Because how did you get out of that because like how did you get out of that mental space there was one day where I um was fully in suicidal mode I knew exactly how I wanted to do it and I acted it out so there was um the road was about four houses up I knew that if I made it to this mail this particular mailbox and I made it to another one, I could count the mailboxes. So by the time I got to the fourth mailbox, I wanted to throw myself out in the road when I heard a car. And DeAndre, he just happened to wake up that morning and he followed me. I didn't know he was following me.

He just put his hands on my shoulder as I was getting ready to literally go out in front of this car. Oh, I thought, you know, if I could hear the car, I could throw my body out there and it just all be over. The pain was excruciating. And we never talked about it for like 10 years later. And he put his hand on my shoulder. He walked me back in to the house. I went in my bedroom. He went in his. We just shut the door. And it was one of those things where it was just so strong that we didn't really want to talk about it because it was hurtful he knew what I was going to do and I think that was the turning point for me I was like how dare I leave these children because like the the mental aspect was just so hard like the like just sitting there day after day having people wait on you I had people to

I had to people had to give me a bath people had to come in and feed me and so I was just tired of it all that was my turning point mentally was like I got to get it together because if not these I'm going to leave these children and how dare I, you know, leave here and leave them here? Because if people are not coming in to help us now, just imagine what it's going to be like without me. Lord have mercy. How did the conversations go with the kids? Like when you first came home, did you explain to them what happened or were you embarrassed to tell them what happened? Did you wait till they got older? So embarrassed. The shame. When you live with shame, it can literally manifest and grow as big as you allow it.

And so I didn't talk to them at first. It was maybe about four years, three or four years later when I decided to just get up and say, you know what? I need to repair this family. I did this and I need to get up and just start the process. I didn't know what that looked like. So I began to start implementing curfews. I began to start screaming, shouting. Now, the woman you see now, that's all calm. I wasn't like that then. I was full of anger and bitterness.

And so I was, you know, portraying that onto my children. And I was cussing and fussing and, you know, doing the things like that. But I needed to instill fear in them because I felt like if I didn't do it, somebody was going to do it. I didn't want to lose them to the streets. I didn't want to lose them to, you know, society. And I was like, let me do something. And so I began to start sitting them down, attempting to repair my family. And I called them in the room I have in my memoir I call it the get right room where I would take them in bring them in one by one and just talk to them so they began to tell me later they was like you know I will do anything keep from going in there sitting there talking to mama

for two hours because it's like this woman is crazy she don't care she ain't got nothing else to do but you know but pour into us and so it began that I couldn't go out um I wasn't um I wasn't in a place where I wanted to go out and people see my face or you know small town you got the rumors and so but I was like what I can control is my house you will be in this house at a certain time. And I just remember waking up one day and and the boys had did something, Marcus and DeAndre. So I took all day. It took me hours. But I myself like her and all bandages and everything. I I pulled this big TV out of the room. I took the stereo. I took the door off the hinges. I was like doing anything I could to show them that, you know, when you do something, there's consequences.

I began to do that. And it just began to me sitting them down, eventually all of them. And I think what I remember the most, Charlamagne, is that I would like, hey, I'm sorry. I need you to tell me what you think, what in your mind you think I did did because I want to sit here and I want to hold myself accountable in front of each one of you and I want to say you know I'm sorry now I may do something to hurt you again but it won't it won't be intentional at this day forward I'm going to set set you know set my mind to be a better mother because I have not been and they needed to hear that and so you know at first they were like um no you know mama you mama you good I was like no like we need to repair in order to repair we have to start from the bottom up and begin the healing

and I think it made it made a better person in me I began to start healing when I knew that my children were okay. And just sitting them down and holding each other accountable. So, you know, at first they was like, oh, mother, some white people do, you know, we're not doing this, but I kept doing it. I kept doing it. I didn't want to lose them. And I wanted my voice to be the voice that made a difference in their lives. And I would tell them, I said, you're going to continue your activities. And furthermore, what we're going to do is, this will not be an excuse for you not making it. I was really, really strong about that.

You know, it's interesting. I keep thinking about DeAndre stopping you when you knew you wanted to complete suicide. Was that because he used to hear you talk about it? I was just a divine moment where God just put something on him to stop you. Like what made him do that? Recently, we were in an interview and he said that he just woke up. He said it was nothing but God that woke him up.

He went in my room. I wasn't there. And he said, I'm never not in my room. He's like, something's not right he went in the kitchen and then he turned to the left and the screen the door was open he said something he said mom was always in this room and so it was nothing but God I gotta ask a question right reading the reading the title of the book last thing is forgiveness. Do you forgive the individuals that were involved with taking your site? DJ Envy, I had no other choice but to forgive. I have totally forgiven. I walk in forgiveness. I mean, there's just no way that I could be this person had I not forgiven. Now, when we talk about forgiveness, you talk about the process of forgiveness right I'm sitting there and I'm mad

I'm pissed off I'm angry and how dare they try to take my life knowing I had these babies to feed but what I did was I began to humanize her and look at her as somebody that you like there's no way you could do that if you're not broken and like something's wrong and so what I did was I began to humanize her I began to say her name um eventually out loud I began to pray for her now that was really hard and I have this in the memoir where I say you know at first like the first thing I said was uh something like um you know I'm just going to pray for her I pray that God I pray that you uh bless her and everything that she touches turns to gold. That was all I could mutter, right? At first. And then my prayer got stronger.

I began to just pray for her. I knew that day in the courtroom that her son was the same age as my son. So you think about she got a 20 year prison sentence. She's done 18 years of that. She's you know, she's been out for a couple of years now and um just to answer your question i knew that i had to continue that process of forgiving her i didn't know what that looked like took some time but i thank god that i did do that because i have forgiven him and her and whatever involvement that he may or may not had in that attack. I had to put them together and completely forgive him and her. Did he get jail time as well? So he did eventually get a year jail time and one year probation.

And it wasn't it had nothing to do with that. There was a three day jury trial and she was convicted of 20 years. But he continued to stalk me and harass me and he got a year of prison sentence a year jail time in a year of probation for continue to harass and stalk me a year later so he didn't even though he drove you to the gas station and left you for dead there was no crime he didn't get he didn't get convicted of anything like that it was one of those things where we had to pick our poison i got you and um so of course um all of the animosity and frustration leaned towards her because she did the heinous act and um so we had to do that he actually came in every day of the trial and testified against her

but then turned around and started harassing me saying that you took my girlfriend you took the person I love I love both of y'all yes I can't make this up right yeah I cannot right and so he so the the last straw for for that situation was he literally called me while I had three police officers standing in my home. And they said, you know, they called his name and they say, repeat yourself. You know, you have three police officers standing here. His exact words, I don't care. I'm going to kill the bitch. And they went and picked him up. And that was when he served a year. A lot of people don't know that, you know, it's crazy. Now crazy now you know you forgave one more question you said you forgave her um and you said you were

able to say her name and pray for her uh has she reached out since then to apologize or have you had a conversation or anything like that in the courtroom that day she had the choice to speak to me and she chose to not to speak to me and in the three years that she has been out she chose to go to a blogger uh by the name of Tasha K and speak out against me wow yeah speak out in what way though yeah how could in what way saying that it it didn't happen the way that that that the court records the receipts and everything she's saying it didn't happen the way that the court records, the receipts and everything. She's saying it didn't happen that way. I was stalking her.

I was jealous of her and the relationship with him. A lot of things that she spoke out about. Yeah, but I chose not to listen to it, of course. I'm very careful about what enters into my mind. You should be. And I'm like, you know, I'm in a place now where, you know, I woke up that day when I found out she was getting out of prison. I said, OK, I've been talking to talk. Now it's time to walk the walk, you know. And so I just refuse to allow anything negative to come into my mindset.

However, it was kind of hurtful because it's like art yeah yeah you still stuck clearly and you know if you if you did 18 years at some point you know reality sits in to where I need to take accountability for for my actions and that still hasn't happened but she's not my assignment. And so I chose not to entertain it. You have a chapter in the book called Justice, Chapter 17. And, you know, you talk about what happened as far as him getting sentenced. But does her getting sentenced, the 20 years, did that feel like justice to you? No, not at all. Not at all.

What would you have wanted to happen? What would be justice to you? I had to come to grips with the 20-year prison sentence but of course attempted murder should have been the charge instead of assault and battery with intent intent to kill and um yeah that would have been that would have been better however i feel like i feel like even though all of that happened, I'm just not mad at it anymore because 18 years is a long time to be without your child. I was with my children every single day, right? I got a chance to instill some values in them that they still have to this day. I eventually got all four of my children into college so when I look back

20 years and you did 18 years compared to me being with my children I'm not mad at the sentence now I was angry then but I'm not mad at it now did he give you any peace or closure oh gosh yes okay um it the the three-day trial was about a year after the attack and so I had probably not left my room for a whole year and I got up and I went to the three-day trial after that you know I was waiting on the light switch to come on to be like okay you know I got justice is good it didn't really happen like that I was still severely depressed but eventually it sunk in that this woman is in prison and there is some justice and justice did prevail. Now, you mentioned your assignment. You said that wasn't your assignment. What do you feel your assignment is?

My assignment, I know without a doubt, is to let people know. Everything that I went through and everything that they go through, there is light on the other side. I wake up now and I'm more happy than ever because before, you know, the Sabrina Greenlee was, you know, Oh,

you cute, you know, you light skin, you pretty or whatever. But my insides was screaming for help. And I really want people to know that when you take the time to put the work in, to get the mental health counseling and the therapy, and no matter what, it is very important that you understand your worth and who you are. And so when you began to do that,

oh God, it's amazing on the other side. So all that pain and all that misery that people are still, you know, stuck in when you can just make up your mind and make the choice to say, you know what? I don't want to be here anymore. Whether you're an abusive relationship or it's just family members, because people, people can people be people. But when you and when I tell be nigga and what when i tell you listen charlotte you don't understand and it never stops right that's right so it takes it takes a bigger person to say you know what let me handle this differently let me have the tools and the takeaways like i put in grant me vision i i talk about things but at the end of every chapter I'm like I had to write this memoir with the takeaways of people understanding like how I how I began to forgive you can just say I don't want to be one of people to say you better forgive no let me tell you what I've done

to for this Sabrina Greenlee today to be out here talking to women and ushering them into their their process of forgiveness and being that woman to say you know what look at me look at my life look at my testimony I didn't stay there and this is how you this is how you not stay down do you think it was a complexion thing that she did it because you were the light-skinned girl and and the reason I ask and I just want to say I you know your strength is is like no other thank you and the reason I say that is is my wife uh who I've been together with for 30 years uh she was cutting the face right when she was younger um because she was a lighter skin she had 50 stitches on her face uh 72 stitches on her leg they try to slice her up and when I sit back and I try to think about how

would I feel and how it would be it would have broke me the fact that you know it's your face and how it it made her stronger and how i'm looking at this and how it made you strong and i'm just like the strength that you have but i was just wondering do you feel like it was your complexion that that did it was that jealousy because back in the day used to be this whole thing light skin brown skin dark skin thing and it was like a whole thing and i felt like it divided a lot of us just being black. Do you feel like that was part of it? He's not black, though, man.

I am black. I'm 100% black. Don't let him lie to you. He's joking. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going.

That's what my podcast Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real, inspiring stories from the people you know, follow, and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run High on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I planted the flag and just kind of looked out of like, this is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. There's 55 gallons of water for 500 pounds of concrete. Everybody's doing it. I am King Ernest Emmanuel. I am the Queen of Ladonia. I'm Jackson I, King of Kaperburg. I am the Supreme Leader of the Grand Republic of Mentonia. Be part of a great colonial tradition.

Why can't I trade my own country? My forefathers did that themselves. What could go wrong? No country willingly gives up their territory. Well, why can't I trade my own country? My forefathers did that themselves. What could go wrong? No country willingly gives up their territory. I was making a rocket with a black powder, you know, with explosive warhead. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets.

Bullets. We need help! We need help! We still have the off-road portion to go. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. And we're losing daylight fast. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I

really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia Keys opens up about conquering doubt, learning to trust herself and leaning into her dreams. I think a lot of times we are built to doubt the possibilities for ourselves. For self-preservation and protection, it was literally that step by step. And so I

discovered that that is how we get where we're going. This increment of small, determined moments. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay. Like grace. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? This is Ramses Jha. And I go by the name Q Ward. And we'd like you to join us each week for our show Civic Cipher. That's right. We're going to discuss social issues, especially those that affect Black and

Brown people, but in a way that informs and empowers all people to hopefully create better allies. Think of it as a black show for non-black people. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. Exactly. Whether you're black, Asian, white, Latinx, indigenous, LGBTQIA+, you name it. If you stand with us, then we stand with you. Let's discuss the stories and conduct the interviews that will help us create a more empathetic, accountable, and equitable America. You are all our brothers and sisters, and we're inviting you to join us for Civic Cipher each and every Saturday.

With myself, Ramses Jha, Q Ward, and some of the greatest minds in America. Listen to Civic Cipher every Saturday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jenny Garth, Jana Kramer, Amy Robach, and TJ Holmes bring you I Do Part Two, a one-of-a-kind experiment in podcasting to help you find love again. If you didn't get it right the first time, it's time to try, try again as they guide you through this podcast experiment in dating. Hey, I'm Jana Kramer. As they say, those that cannot do, teach. Actually, I think I finally got it right. So take the failures I've had the second or even third or whatever, maybe the fourth time around. I'm Jenny

Garth. 29 years ago, Kelly Taylor said these words, I choose me. She made her choice. She chose herself. When it comes to love, choose you first. Hi, everyone. I'm Amy Robach. And I'm TJ Holmes. And we are, well, not necessarily relationship experts. If you're ready to dive back into the dating pool and find lasting love, finally, we want to help. Listen to I Do Part Two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm a thousand percent black. DJ Envy, I was bad back in the day now. I mean, I'm not half bad now, but I was,

but what I'm saying is, come on now, what I'm saying is, I was fine as wine back in the day. But so, of course, it has something to do with, I mean, jealousy. I think, but now light skin, from what I'm told, she's light skin too. Okay. So I don't know if that played a part in it, but definitely jealousy. I had just purchased a brand new Lexus. You know, I had the guy.

I was dancing at a strip club. And so, yeah, I was. What was your stripper name? Well, huh? Excuse me? What was your stripper name? I'm sorry. That was a problem.

That was a problem. You just talk about niggas. He went right back into nigga mode. Well, you see. You see. I don't know what your stripper name was. My stripper name was,'s it's i am it was caramel oh and i have a chapter in grant me vision called caramel you have to go to a caramel chapter i put you in the strip club i literally walk you

in i put you in there the ups the downs the highs and lows of what a a little um black girl from central south carolina you know growing up and have went through a lot of things that i won't tell you know i won't tell you too much but um how i got to be in the strip club and the things that happen while i'm there back with strip clubs in south carolina is a different breed yes so back then we wasn't we wasn't making it rain. We was doing the R. Kelly song in the in the movie. You know, it was slow motion. Everything was like sensual and sexual back then. People were 20 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Now people is like that whole. It's a lot. They work for it now. I didn't have to work for it back then.

Yes. Chapter 18 is called Blind Eyes Can't See. And the book is called Grant Me Vision. When did God give you the vision? God gave me the vision when, honestly, he gave me the vision when I was most suicidal. He gave me, because what I used to pray for all the time, I used to say, God, give me vision, give me vision. And I went through this roller coaster ride of getting all of these donor cornea transplants and then one would fail and then I get another one. So over time, it was like I was getting I've had over 30 or 40 surgeries on my eyes trying to get my my vision back. But in that moment, I used to just say, you know, God, you know, give me vision.

I just want vision. And I think by now I was like, why was asking for sight? Like, give me vision. And it was it was as though he was there with me all along. I have to give him the credit for that. But I feel like mostly as I'm coming out, transitioning out of all the the drama and the depression, I was reminded that I'm going to give you what you ask for. And so when when that doctor, when I said in Miami. With a really good friend of mine by the name of Humble and that doctor told me humble and he told me he says you know this is it my second my um my second opinion they told me that you'll never see again this is it your retinas has detached you fought a good fight everything that you know I worked for over the years is gone all the surgeries this is I'm at the last

straw and I realized in that moment that I can't be mad because God granted me my vision he granted me vision and this is something I don't know how once again you know it's like I always have this thing I say okay here we go what's next and you know so this is next I'm going to be blind for the rest of my life but what am I going to do with this and so the vision that I have now I feel like no one can not feel like I know that no one can take away from me and how can I be angry or mad when God granted me exactly what I asked for? I would rather have the vision I have now going out, speaking and talking to women and showing them what what the other side of death looks like. He granted me vision and the vision I have is amazing.

I mean, I literally wake up every day and I'm I'm full of joy and I'm happy um and of course let's be honest I would rather have sight I mean who doesn't want to see um you know and it be taken at the hands of someone else but this is what I have and this is what this is what I have to work with and I'm going to continue working again until I can't work it anymore what uh what other what other senses got stronger for you you know they uh my children say I can hear really good I think that was it I think um but also too just being alert and being aware of things like things that surround me um I'm hyper alert on on everything around me so i think all of them may have enhanced you know what's funny about kids you know i got four daughters it's not that your hearing uh gets better when you a parent it's just that when they get quiet

you know they're probably doing something so that's when you just scream for them so they probably they probably think it's our hearing i'm i'm no it's what I don't hear is when I'm like, what y'all in there doing? There you go. You know? There you go. No, I think everything got enhanced. Now, after every touchdown, you know, DeAndre gives you, you know, the football. Talk to us about that energy and the bond you feel when that happens.

Like, what does that mean for you? It's amazing because, of course, I can't see. And so the very first initial time that he brought me the ball, I was like, I was like, he's coming away. He's coming away. He's doing what?

And he, he held, you know, he handed me the ball and it was just the way that he gave it to me. Like he, he, he, he squeezed my hands and he was like,

mom, I love you. And I'm holding back tears because I'm like, man, you know it just signified everything that we went through all of the things that we went through that nobody will understand that went that went on under one roof with me and these these four children and it's amazing like I wouldn't trade it for the world and so so now, of course, he's on his third team, and I can't always be in the end zone to him get me the ball,

but he makes sure I still get my balls. So you've got a whole room of footballs. Some are deflated. Some are. It's like, you know, he's in his 12th season, but I still have those balls. And I think over time, you you know we give them some to family members and things like that but i have the majority you're from clemson too

we are from clemson south carolina from the clemson the balls from no not from clemson no not from clemson it only started when we were uh in houston got you yeah so but no i'm from clemson south carolina proud bleed orange south cared orange. South Carolina. Yeah. South Carolina. That's right. Let's go. Now, you have a chapter called Ending Generational Curses. What were some generational curses that you felt you needed to break? The biggest one, the most relevant one, was keeping secrets.

Man, we were notorious for keeping secrets. Man, we were notorious for keeping secrets. And so I think what stands out the most was when my brother passed away, he got shot by the police in 97. He was in a domestic violence dispute himself. Three or four officers come in, open fire on him and killing him instantly. And I never forget forget my father went down there to the room that he was staying in and there was a tape recorder and he came back he grabbed the tape recorder and his rings that he had got from Clemson because he was a very prominent football player Clemson and he shoves this tape recorder in my hand and he says I don't ever want to you know I don't ever want to see this MF thing again and I'm like God you know I'm 20 something I was like what do I do well I keep it and I keep it

for many many years and eventually I give it to his daughter who grew up to be a prominent lawyer in Atlanta but that was my way of saying you know know what, like I want this out. And even talking about it now, I only spoke about it, you know, now. And my father had no idea. Right. I was writing a book and I was like, like this, this can't we can't keep this anymore. Like this is this is going to infest us forever if I don't talk about this and so I think that was one of the things I put in the chapter I was like you know what talking about this tape recorder and what he left um I don't want to keep secrets anymore so that was my that was I think that was the most prominent thing that I could talk about was breaking generational curses and there were many more I mean we were in a house like you know you you don't talk about things and even talk I was um I was raped and molested at the age of 10 and i was told you're not going to mess up his family go somewhere sit your fast ass down we're not going to talk about this the minister right that i was i was i was raped by a reverend yeah a reverend a family member he was he was a family member and so like just exposing those things now it

puts you in a vulnerable state however there are somebody that's going through these things now that needs to know you know that they need to be talked about they need to be brought to the surface because that's the only way that you're going to heal did your family believe you when it happened did they believe you when not at all as your mom not at all my mother and my grandmother they totally did not believe me how did that change your relationship with them if if it did at all well I I learned early on that I couldn't trust people and then you know and I talk about that um in the book there's there's a place where I mentioned that 10 year that 10 year old little girl died that day and she was like angry and mad um and then when she awakened

you know she was present in every relationship because she was she was the one that was fighting and cussing and mad and angry right she and she had a lot to do with how I parented my children and the decisions that I made um and so it's just it was one of those things where I had to really get a grip on and understand that, man, like this kid is hurting. But why? You know, because we were offended. We were hurt. We know she was molested. All of these things were present in my life the entire time. What I would never understand about stories like that is, you know, when you go to your mother and you tell her what happened and the mother says hey don't say anything because i don't want you to mess up his family so there is some type of protectiveness there that she has but why don't they have that why don't why didn't she have that for you why was she protecting him as opposed to you i think now looking back charlemagne my mom

nor my grandmother had the tools to understand what was going on and you have to think this probably happened to them at some point absolutely um I didn't understand that then like why wouldn't they protect me and why wouldn't why wouldn't they believe me and so it just began a whole whirlwind of me manipulating deceiving and lies and man I learned how to lie and just I was going to get you before you got me and I didn't care who you were I took that throughout my entire life just about and um not understanding and I began to to not trust anybody at that point but I still honor them believe it or not I my grandmama was still my grandmama my mama was still my mama I didn't understand it but I but I love them.

I saw you say that the woman you are today, if you had to do it all over again, you wouldn't change a thing. Not one single thing. Really? Not one single thing. And people, when I say that, they're like, what do you mean? You are blind. Like you wasn't born blind.

But I take all of that. And if you take all of that and you mix it up how could I be this woman today be able to talk be able to speak out so bravely so boldly if I had not went through every single thing so how how can I be mad at that and also too when you purposefully make up your mind that you are going to heal and you are going to deal with depression and anxiety and you're going to wake up whole, then I have no other choice but to understand that all of that had to happen for a reason. Every single moment, every single surgery, every single moment of pain, it had to happen. And I wouldn't change not one single thing. You know, I know I only got a few more questions, but, you know, traumas are real and triggers are real.

And when you're writing a book, you know, and you're having to relive a lot of these things that can trigger you. But also, you know, the young woman coming home, doing interviews that could trigger you as well. Have you been triggered by any of this absolutely all of this happened while i'm trying to write the book oh lord so she gets out while i'm writing it she speaks out while i'm writing it and i'm triggered so they tell you when you're writing a book charlemagne you you may on you may can attest to this. It's like when you unraveling all these emotions, you need to float in water. You need to get counseling. I was trying everything. I was floating every night and nothing was working because, you know, mentally I was having to relive all of this. But I think just sitting down with my ghostwriter and saying, you know what, I'm gonna get it out it has to get out I I'm gonna be because think about it like

if I don't get this out my brothers and I here to tell their story my fiance that I was in the car wreck with that died eight days later DeAndre's father if I this is it's up to me to tell these stories so how dare I allow them it doesn't matter what they say I was like I'm not gonna let them win on this one nah you you can't you can't take nothing else how do you prevent yourself from writing a diss record though like you know it's coming is it if I could rap it I would I can't rap Envy but I mean you know right right you know right making sure that you know you my my daughter told me yesterday, she said, Mama, I'm waiting on book two. I was like, really? It took me three or four years to do this. But, um, no, I feel like I feel like I have to.

I want to keep talking about it. I want to keep telling my story every day. Like even I wanted to make sure that in my memoir that people know I'm still struggling I'm still going through there's no perfect days for somebody being blind but I'm doing it I want people to know that I'm doing it and so yeah I want to keep I just want to keep keep that going that energy now I want to talk about your non-profit smooth tell people about that and how they can jump into that and help Tell people about that and how they can jump into that and help you out with that and maybe support. Oh, absolutely. So I have a nonprofit. We advocate against domestic violence. I'm in three states and we really are out here

helping women. I have so many stories where we go out and literally take women from shelters, organizations, agencies, and when they decide to go into their own dwelling, we provide them with financial literacy, household supplies. We do it all. And I am hands-on every single case. I'm right there. And so SMOOTH stands for Speaking Mentally, Outwardly Opening Opportunities.

That's with three O's. And they can go to smoothinc.ities. That's with three O's. And they can go to smoothinc.org. That's with three O's. And every single thing that people contribute goes into these women. I really, really, really can't stress enough that my organization is is built and it thrives on helping helping these women um who have been abused and not only abused but have been traumatized it doesn't matter and it's not just domestic violence we help all women in different facets of abuse when do you think um oh two-part question were you hard on your daughters i was hard on all my children okay i was a disciplinarian, and I didn't play. Now, I have eight grandbabies. I'm a little softer now.

But I was super hard on my children. And sitting in the house, like, just sitting there watching life happen and things go by, I knew that, like I said, I had to have a voice. I had to have them fear somebody. And I have this thing, you know, I'm from the old school. I'm like, you know, you either listen to me or you're going to listen to the white man. You're going to have to listen to somebody. See, people don't understand about that thing.

My daddy would say the same thing. You're going to listen to somebody, right? And so, like I said, I just became a disciplinarian. And it actually paid off because, like I said, I was able to get all of all them in college and the proudest moments of my life was uh dropping those kids off in those dormitories dormitories and and coming back home and just just giving them a chance at life a chance that I didn't have very important the other part of that question is my daddy would always I always felt like my daddy raised me out of fear and not love. When did you start raising the kids with love and not with fear?

When they started rebelling and telling me about myself and just being like, Mama, you like, you know, my boys, they were in 11th and 12th grade. I still had them coming home at 10 o'clock. And they were like, Mama, enough is enough, man. And not only that, but just like literally telling me about myself sometimes you have to listen I had the mother um do as I say and not as I do I didn't want to be that mother I wanted to but I also didn't want to just be your friend and I think that me just looking at myself and saying you know what man like let me let me like let me give them some grace because they're not going to do what I did.

You know, these are some good children. I had to trust that what I instilled, you know, now it's time to allow them to grow and and flourish. But it took some time because I was scared. I remember my daughter telling me a few years ago, she said, Mama, you wouldn't let me go anywhere. You won't let me do anything. And I told her, I said I said I apologize I didn't want my story to be your story that's right um last question your book ends with a poem from DeAndre celebrating you know your 20 years called the scrim for my mama how did you feel the first time you heard those words he wrote I was sitting there at my 20- life celebration. And this is 20 years of everything I went through the struggles and everything. And I'm sitting there with everybody that I love and everybody had flew in and I was just feeling amazing. Had no idea that he wrote

this poem. He gets up there. Each one of my children got up and said something but he gets up there and he he says this poem and i'm i'm all tears i'm just boohoo crying because i'm like and he says that he told me later that he made it up on the way there just on the plane he just came from his heart i had to put that in the memoir because it was so significant to just let people know that what you pour into your children, you eventually will get back one day. And that is a poem and that speaks so highly of me and everything that we went through. Yeah, it was it was amazing. And what's the message you want people to get from this book, especially women? I want women to know that there is a place for us. And I say us because I'm still

in the fight with you. However, when you make up your mind to really forgive and acknowledge everything that you've done, take accountability. I think it's very important that when we stop pointing fingers and when we stop blaming other people and just sit down, sit in silence with yourself. When you began to just sit in silence, look at yourself, whether it's in the mirror, whether you realize what you've done with your children, the abusive relationship that you're in, when you began to take your power back, baby, on the other side of that, you could scream and scream as loud as you want. There is no more suffering in silence. And so I feel like grant me vision portrays side of that, you could scream and scream as loud as you want. There is no more suffering in silence.

And so I feel like grant me vision portrays all of that. The ups, the downs, the journey of a young black girl who didn't know who she was going through all of this. But I am you. You are me. And like I said, on the other side of that is happiness is joy. And I feel like when you can just understand that when you make the choice, no one can make that choice for you. But there is so much happiness on the other side of that pain. And I want everybody to go get grant me vision because I want you to just see my journey. It wasn't always like this, but I want you to just really go go grab grant me vision today and really really dive into it there are so many takeaways so many tools in there and I want you to

just follow my journey and see how I how I navigate through life man what a testimony you got Sabrina and I tell you something you know how to promote a book okay if you ever listen to somebody promote a book when they do an interview if they they keep referencing the book, they know what they do. That's right. OK, come on. Grant me vision out today. That's right. Whatever books are sold. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, grant me family faith and forgiveness is out now. How can they follow you? So I'm always on Instagram. Sabrina Greenlee 12. You can go and I'm cooking. I'm dancing. I'm doing any

and everything except for driving Sabrina Greenlee 12 on Instagram and again you can go to my website smooth that's with three O's inc.org alright well it's Sabrina Greenlee it's the Breakfast Club good morning thank you wake that ass up

in the morning. The Breakfast Club. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka-stan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-a-stan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you.

Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. And you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? or wherever you get your podcasts. of police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other. So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Jenny Garth, Jana Kramer, Amy Robach, and TJ Holmes bring you I Do Part Two, a one-of-a-kind experiment in podcasting to help you find love again. Hey, I'm Jana Kramer. I'm Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone. I'm Amy Robach.

And I'm TJ Holmes. And we are, well, not necessarily relationship experts. If you're ready to dive back into the dating pool and find lasting love, we want to help. Listen to I Do Part 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.