The Breakfast Club - Just Heal with Dr. Jay: Living and Healing In Peace with Taraji P. Henson

Episode Date: May 25, 2025

On this episode of Just Heal with Dr. Jay, Dr. Jay Barnett sits down with actress and mental health advocate Taraji P. Henson for an honest conversation about healing, community, and emotional well-being. They reflect on the importance of vulnerability, the lasting impact of childhood experiences, and the power of reconnecting with nature. Taraji shares personal insights from her journey to Bali, her ongoing work through the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, and how friendship plays a vital role in maintaining peace. Together, they explore what it means to take responsibility for your healing and the value of showing up authentically for yourself and others. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below. Rate, subscribe, comment and share. Follow Just Heal on IG: @kingjaybarnett @tarajiphensonYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes here. Diddy's former protege, television personality, Danity King alum Aubrey O'Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real. I went through things there. Listen to Amy and TJ Presents, Aubrey O'Day covering the Diddy Trial

on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yo, K-Pop fans, are you ready? It's your boy, Bum-Han, and I'm bringing you the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-Pop. We're talking music, idols, exclusive interviews, and even the real behind-the-scenes K-Pop stories.'re talking music, idols, exclusive interviews, and even the real behind the scenes K-pop stories. Plus, you're the fans, you're part of the show. And you can get a chance to jump in, share your opinions,

and be part of the conversation like never before. And trust me, you never know where we might pop up next. So listen to The K Factor starting on April 16 on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, It's a K-pop experience. Are you in? Let's go.

Let's go. What happens when we come face to face with death? My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti-tank mine. My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. When we step beyond the edge of what we know, I clinically died. The heart stopped beating.

Which I was dead for 11.5 minutes. And return. It's a miracle I was brought back. Alive Again, a podcast about the strength of the human spirit. Listen to Alive Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. The made-for-this-mountain podcast exists to empower listeners to rise above their inner struggles and face the mountain in front of them.

So during Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast, focus on your emotional wellbeing, and then climb that mountain. You will never be able to change or grow through the thing that you refuse to identify. The thing that you refuse to say, hey, this is my mountain, this is the struggle. Listen to Made for This Mountain on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Just Heal with Dr. J, a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.

Welcome back to another episode of Just Heal with Dr. J, and I am your host, Dr. J Barnett. And I'm excited about today's guest. I have my great friend You know her as Miss Cookie But I know her as T and all of the many characters that we have been blessed to see her play But today we want to have a conversation about healing and as y'all know when you come into the healing community we're talking about things that are Impactful for our journey that can impact our life and I'm so happy to have my friend Taraji P. Henson joining me with the Healing Community Day. Welcome. Thank you. Listen I am excited about this

episode and this episode I think that's gonna be transformative because May is Mental Health Month and we have been working together for a number of years under the Boris Henson Foundation, providing free therapy to black men and black women. And I just think this conversation is not had enough, even though we're talking about it more. But before I start into the conversation, I always ask every guest,

I don't ask them how they're doing, I ask them, how are you feeling? I'm feeling blessed today, really happy and excited about today, because you know, of course we're having our symposium and we're helping the kids, and I actually used to go to Oxnard Hill High School. Really?

So I feel really good about giving back to them in this way. To give back to them in this way. Before we start, can I just say I'm proud of you, black man. Thank you. I'm just really, really proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. And listen, I want to say this to everybody. Y'all only know me because of Taraji. Well.

Like for real. And so I have to say, I'm humble because it was a black woman, it was you, I think came across one of my videos and then your team reached out to me. This was what, 2020? This was 2020. Yeah. Yeah.

And we did the Breakfast Club virtual at that time. And I just wanna say thank you for seeing me and for providing the opportunity for the world to know my voice and not just my story, but the voice and the impact that I would have on black men. It was you. And this is why we need black women. And we need y'all, so.

We need each other. We need each other. Like, and I wish we could settle these wars that we have in online, because we're so needed in just building each other. Yeah, for sure, for sure. So, you feel blessed, you look amazing. I don't know what you're drinking, what you're doing,

but you look amazing. I know you take trips to Bali. And Bali is your place to really get away in the checkout. What has that been for your healing journey? It's a place, it's a great place to recenter because it's not a place about vanity. You know, a lot of times when you go overseas, it's about shopping and this and that.

And that's not where you go for that. It's literally eat, pray, love. The people are beautiful. They pray over everything. They pray over you. It's a lot of yoga. I mean, the food is from the earth. Everything is clean eating.

I just feel so nurtured we call it mother Bali because the land is so nurturing but that's just that has become my place to go when I need to re-center. Yeah. And get away from it all because it's very far. Yeah. Now when you go how long you gone? The first time I stayed for a month, the second time I went for like two and a half weeks. Yeah, it's not a quick trip because it takes about 24 hours to get there. Wow, wow.

And when you go there and you recenter yourself, how does your spirit feels to step away from America? Let me just tell you this. The first time I went, I landed at some weird hour in the morning. They had an herbal bath waiting for me. I took it. It was like four o'clock in the morning

by the time I unpacked and got in the bed. I slept for 12 hours. Can I tell you the last time I slept through like 12 straight hours, I since probably in my 20s when I was going to the clubs and stuff. Wow. Yeah, 12 straight hours since probably in my 20s when I was going to the clubs and stuff. Wow.

Yeah, 12 straight hours. And I never could sleep that peacefully in the States. Wow. Do you feel because of the chaos and the noise is why many of us can't rest? Absolutely. I literally remember after my month stay, it felt like it went so fast.

And I remember I was crying, packing, coming back. I did not wanna come back. As soon as I got back to America, it was a mass shooting in Chinatown, in LA. I was like. And I remember texting you when you come back and you was just saying, I did not wanna come back. Did not wanna come back.

Did not wanna come. I heard a doctor say if you ever find yourself diagnosed with cancer and you wanna survive, the first thing you gotta do is leave America. What? Yes. He said that's the first thing you have to do. He didn't go into the medicines,

he didn't go into holistic, he said the first thing you must to do. He didn't go into the medicines. He didn't go into holistic. He said, the first thing you must do is leave America. Wow. You know, I'm writing this book and its title, I actually just got agreed to the terms. It's my first major book deal. And I'm excited about this because the book is about pursuing pace and the subtitle is In a World That's Not Slowing Down.

And as you were speaking about the doctor saying you got to leave here, we're in such a hurry and there's such stress that we have day to day and And I'm saying to myself, how do we ever find pace? How do you create pace in your busy world? I, where I live is very peaceful. My house is sits on a hill away from the noise. I don't hear any street traffic. It's my sanctuary. And I had a friend who's very clairvoyant say that he saw like Native Americans around the property in spirit protecting it so I would have friends fly in from out of town and they would Come in all stress and they come to my house and they'd be like, oh my god

I just feel so peaceful and when I was living in Chicago I would you know working on that show could be kind of crazy when I was on Empire. I would go to LA back to my house to regather myself. So that's literally my sanctuary is home. I have two dogs. I just got a new puppy, Lord, why did I do that? I have Frenchies. Two Frenchies and they're my joy, you know, simple things, nothing, you know, it ain't about going to a spa or any of that. I work out a lot, which for me is more, is more about my mental than the aesthetics, you know, because it releases

those good endorphins, you know. So simple, keeping everything really simple, you know, I have my playroom, which is my salon. When I was a little girl, we couldn't afford nothing. And so I always promised myself when I got older, I would make a room where I could play and I would buy all the things that I couldn't afford when I was a kid. And it's my salon and I have my little doll heads

that I go in there and I would... It's just where I got to want to tell all my business. But, I love that. Yes, my space. I mean, I could be, the world could be burning up and I'd be in my salon having fun with my doll heads. Like, I like that because it's almost like you get

to connect back to the little girl. Absolutely. I reached out to Tyler Perry one time. I said, well, the world is burning up. I'm in here watching Madea movies and I turned the camera around and so he said, wow, Taraji, that's you protected, letting that, taking care of that little TJ little girl. And I was like, absolutely. Oh God, this is so rich because I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, childhood wounds and childhood traumas and all those different things and I don't think we realize as we're aging that we're either doing one or two things we're either

running from the little boy or little girl or we're trying to replace or give the little boy little girl what they didn't have at that particular time and as you were we were talking about sitting there and playing with the doll heads, does that bring a level of peace to the little girl inside of you? I forget, I don't, my office be trying to reach me and the phone will be buzzing and I get annoyed

because I don't wanna deal with that. And then I'll be like, hello, they like, you gotta come out of that room. You have to answer these questions. You gotta sign these documents. And they know when they can't find me, they know that's where I am. It just brings me so much peace and joy.

And that's where I was during the pandemic. I literally stayed in my salon. Is that how you got through the pandemic? That's how I got through it. So what I'm hearing you saying is healing is a part of us also reconnecting to our childhood in some sort of. You said I look how youthful I look

because I never let that little girl inside of me die. I go outside and run outside with the dogs. I still play like a kid. I laugh, you know, I love jokes. I love funny. I love laughing. I laugh at myself. I don't take myself too seriously.

That's the stuff that keeps you young and stops you from being so hard. Yeah, because I was reading, I was doing something about black men and aging and this new data said the average life expectancy for black men is 61.5, 10 years less of white males, which is 72. And we're not, you know, we always hear black don't crack.

But internally, we're cracking. And when you're talking about aging, what has been one of the ways that you realize that it's a secret to remaining youthful as we're aging and as we are evolving? What things are you doing? I know you're working out. I know you go to Bali to retreat. What other things have you discovered? Going to bed at seven. I love it. Listen, when I tell you on Friday nights, I am so excited to go to bed like eight o'clock on Friday. That's every night.

And so my mother clowned me one time because I caught FaceTime. She was like, you were in bed already? It was seven o'clock. And I was like, yeah. I'm telling you, that's my favorite time of the day. I be dancing to the bed. Man, isn't that something?

And I remember when we was kids, you hated it. Hated, some nights I'm in bed by 6.30, because I'm like, I'm done with my day. Like I'm done answering questions, I'm done answering questions, I'm done with emails, I'm ready to go to bed. And my dogs, they're so used to at seven. They eat at seven and they go right to their crates

because they know mama finished shutting down. I was, my mom, she goes to bed at like 6.30 or 7. And she said, baby, the day is over. It's over, it's arrived. What else you want from me? What else? And I'm laughing because, you know, my mom heard her husband and, you know, she was like, he'll be in there.

And going back to the childhood thing, so he likes doing puzzles and he likes science projects. So he goes and buys these science projects. And she's like, baby, I'm in the bed. I said, what's Mr. Charlie doing? Oh, baby, Charlie in there playing with his little, she said, I'm going to bed. Because I don't think we realize that we are sleeping,

but we don't rest. We're not resting. Yeah. And you know what? I cut out the alcohol too. Not that I was a heavy drinker, but I just can't recover. I can't. The recovery, even if I have wine the next day, I'm like, I just, and it's just like, what's the point? You know?

So I enjoy my mocktails. But I noticed since I stopped drinking, I have lucid dreams. I can't, I can't remember the last time I used to dream like this. And I wake up the next day and I remember my dreams. Like I'll get up in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom, go back to sleep and continue the dream, the same dream. And I've often heard doctors talk about how alcohol, you know, we don't think about it even just with wine,

but just how it can be one of the most deadliest and not just from a physical perspective, but cognitively, the brain doesn't function the same. It just does not, it doesn't. So for you, what is a good time now when you go out, you have a mocktail, is that enough for you? That's enough for me, but see, now we live in a society

where if you're not drinking, something's wrong. Girl, why you not drinking? So to remedy that, I go straight to the bar and I get a seltzer water, put a lime in it, bam. So nobody's asking me questions. But I found out that I can really enjoy myself sober. Because you know why? I remember what I did the night before when I was drinking and people were like, girl, remember when you said I'm like, I said that,

I did that, like I wanna know what I did. Then as you're aging, I'm like, does that mean I'm getting Alzheimer's? You know, that's not, that's my fear. So, once I proved to myself that I could really still go out and really enjoy. In fact, I think I had more fun because I remember it. And you're present.

Very present. I have not clocked out. But the people that are inebriated be talking to me and I'm like, you think they really think they making sense. And you feel like, especially in. But I don't judge. Yeah, right. Exactly. I don't judge. I just, you know, I'm like, dang, that used to be me.

Now, let me ask you this, when you were drinking, do you feel like it was part of just kind of escape- Social, yeah, absolutely. And it was the thing to do, like, it's like you, going out and drinking is hand in hand. Like, even going to dinner and have a girl, first thing you do is out, the first thing you would you like cocktails here's the drink menu you know and I found the entries I'm gonna tell you when I started thinking about

the sobriety was when I went to the Paris Olympics there was no alcohol at any of the games at any of the gymnasiums no no alcohol well and I found that people were present. There were no drunken fights because you fighting, you know, you rooting for your country and this one rooting for you getting into these arguments. I mean, it was the most peaceful and pleasant experience I had at a sporting event. Wow. And I didn't even, yeah, I wouldn't even think that how present you could be without the

alcohol. Yeah. It's very present. Wow. and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it a hundred, discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business.

Because K-pop isn't just a genre, it's a whole world. And we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part, fans get to call in, drop opinions and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K Factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement.

Are you ready? Let's go. Are you ready? Let's go. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes here. Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum-selling artist, Danity King alum Aubrey O'Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Aubrey O'Day is sitting next to us here. You are, as we sit here, right up the street from where the trial is taking place.

Some people saw that you were going to be in New York, and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Ditty Trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.

It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real. I went through things there. Listen to Amy and TJ Presents, Aubrey O'Day, covering the Diddy Trial on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Made for This Mountain is a podcast that exists to empower listeners to rise above their struggles,

break free from the chains of trauma, and silence the negative voices that have kept them small. Through raw conversations, real stories, and actionable guidance, you can learn to face the mountain that is in front of you. You will never be able to change or grow through the thing that you refuse to identify, the thing that you refuse to say, hey, this is my mountain, this is the struggle, this is the thing that's in front of me. You can't make that mountain move without actually diving into it.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to conquer the things that once felt impossible and step boldly into the best version of yourself to awaken the unstoppable strength that's inside of us all. So tune into the podcast, focus on your emotional well-being and climb your personal mountain. Because it's impossible for you to be the most authentic you. It's impossible for you to love you fully. If all you're doing is living to please people, your mountain is that. Listen to Made for This Mountain on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when we come face to face with death? My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti-tank mine.

My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. I just remember everything getting dark. I'm dying. When we step beyond the edge of what we know. To open our consciousness to something more than just what's in that Western box. And return. I clinically died.

The heart stopped beating. Which I was dead for 11.5 minutes. My name is Dan Bush. My mission is simple. To find, explore, and share these stories. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor. You're strongest when you're the most vulnerable. To remind us what it means to be alive. Not just that I was the guy that cut his arm off, but I'm the guy who is smiling when he cut his arm off.

Alive Again, a podcast about the fragility of life, the strength of the human spirit, and what it means to truly live. Listen to Alive Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You know, speak about being present. I've known you and Tracy for a number of years. You guys love each other out loud. Most people don't have what you guys have. The years of friendship that you guys have. Like I'm usually talking to people that are changing friends every two to three years.

And then best friends, how important has the friendship for you on your healing journey? Because I often tell clients, or just even in my circle, that you can't heal without a community. How important is the friendship and having people who can be present? Yeah. Well, she's been very important for me

throughout our friendship, throughout life, because I was the hothead. I'm like, punch that bitch in the throat. And she like, bring it to zero, come back, find your zero. You know what I mean? She's a Leber, so she actually balanced me and I'm a Virgo and I get heady and I'm very analytical. And so she helped me work through that as a kid

and we can be very judgmental. She worked with me on that. So I'm a very conscious Virgo. You know what I mean? I know how to check myself when that part of my astrological sign shows up. You know what I mean? I know how to check myself when that part of my astrological sign shows up. You know what I mean? Because of her, you know?

And going through what I go through in the industry, it's good to have someone to check in on me because I'm good at pretending. I have to, you know? I have to show up to work and put on that smile even though I'm dying inside. You know what I mean? And so because I have someone who understands that just by the sound of my

hello, she will pull up, you know, Pam, you met Pam, she will pull up like, you don't sound right. I don't care what's going on out there. I need to come look at them eyes, you know? And it's important to have people like that because it's easy to isolate It's so easy and I can I isolate well I told you where I live on the hilltop away from everything But you know what I'm saying

So you have to have people to check on you because sometimes I don't even know that I'm not right Until she break cuz I'm so used to being on you know She was like, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good. She's like, no, you're not. And then that forces me to check, you know what? I am a little, I do feel a little off, you know? So it's very important.

I said that to the kids out at Copeland University yesterday. I was like, y'all check on each other. Don't let your friends or your, you know, people in your circle suffer. If they don't sound right, don't look right, check on them, pull up. You could be saving a life. You know, that's what I miss most about the elders.

Is my grandmother used to say, "'Baby, come by and let me lay eyes on you.'" And here's how they knew that something was going on, cause you would stay away. Because the moment they saw you, you know that they will see you. And we need people that will call us and say, let me lay eyes on me.

And to feel your energy and to feel where your spirit is. And I see, you know, there's, the Surgeon General Vivek talks a lot about this epidemic of loneliness that we have. There's so many lonely people, there's such a loneliness. And we would think that we're more connected because we have phones, but as I like to say, I think we are overly connected but utterly communal.

Because we don't have real connections. You know, we don't have real people that really have this level of sagaciousness, discernment to say, you know what, something is off with you. And when we don't have it, this is why we have a lot of people who just feel nobody cares. And I think they're not giving the space for people.

How important, and I want this to really be loud for sisters to hear that it's okay to allow yourself to be truly seen and men to be seen to say, hey, I need somebody to sit with me. I think we have, especially black people, we have been trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and put on this front,

like I'm good, I'm good, but I always say the strength is in vulnerability. You know, when you're able to be vulnerable and speak your truth, that's what draws more people in, because people are afraid to do that. You know, a lot of people are afraid to do that, but you have to, because being strong all the time will break you.

We're not buildings, we're not, we are not here, we're not built like a structure like this. We're not supposed to be strong all the time. Yeah, there's some times when you have to pull it together, but you can't do that all the time. It's humanly impossible. It is, it is. I wanna ask you this.

You started the Boris Henson Foundation because of your dad. And- Who was a man who was very strong, but was not afraid to be vulnerable. He would cry. He would talk about when he didn't feel right. I mean, he wore his heart on his sleeve.

He was incredible. I miss him so much. I'm sorry to me, Kajal. Oh, no, no, you're good. No, I, yeah, and I'm glad that you shared that. Knowing what you've done and you have pioneered a space in the mental health realm, and you have created opportunities for these conversations.

I often say it was you and Charlamagne who really championed the space for blacks because no one had never seen any one of you guys' caliber be open about your challenges. What would your dad say today if he could see the work that you've done? Can I be honest? Because is anybody going to be offended with the N word? He called everybody niggas. He'd be like, look nigga, I'm proud of you. That's exactly, I can hear him in my dreams.

Sometimes he comes to me so vividly in my, that's another thing I hadn't dreamt about my father in so long and I stopped drinking. And I've been having very lucid dreams where I see him, I hear him. The last dream I had about him, he had come to visit, this is the only house he had never seen passed away before I got this house. And he had come to visit and he was building hedges

around all my windows. He was like, nah, cause they building them all down the way. You know them little niggas gonna be trying to come up here and rob you. So I had to pretend, but that was him letting me know in spirit. He's still protecting me Yeah, but that's what he would say. Wow. I love it. I love it. Hey, hey little biggie. He doing it That's how like that sound like my grump Man that is so beautiful. deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're

keeping it 100 discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business. Because K-pop isn't just a genre, it's a whole world and we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part, fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K Factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement.

Are you ready? Let's go. Are you ready? Let's go. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes here. Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum-selling artist, Danity King alum Aubrey O'Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Aubrey O'Day is sitting next to us here. You are, as we sit here, right up the street from where the trial is taking place.

Some people saw that you were going to be in New York, and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Ditty Trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.

It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real. I went through things there. Listen to Amy and TJ Presents, Aubrey O'Day, covering the Diddy Trial on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Made for This Mountain is a podcast that exists to empower listeners to rise above their struggles,

break free from the chains of trauma, and silence the negative voices that have kept them small. Through raw conversations, real stories, and actionable guidance, you can learn to face the mountain that is in front of you. You will never be able to change or grow through the thing that you refuse to identify, the thing that you refuse to say, hey, this is my mountain, this is the struggle, this is the thing that's in front of me. You can't make that mountain move without actually diving into it.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to conquer the things that once felt impossible and step boldly into the best version of yourself to awaken the unstoppable strength that's inside of us all. So tune into the podcast, focus on your emotional well-being and climb your personal mountain. Because it's impossible for you to be the most authentic you. It's impossible for you to love you fully. If all you're doing is living to please people, your mountain is that. Listen to Made for This Mountain on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What happens when we come face to face with death? My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti-tank mine. My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. I just remember everything getting dark. I'm dying. When we step beyond the edge of what we know to open our consciousness to something more than just what's in that Western box.

In return. I clinically died. The heart stopped beating. Which I was dead for 11.5 minutes. My name is Dan Bush. My mission is simple. To find, explore, and share these stories. I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor. You're strongest when you're the most vulnerable. To remind us what it means to be alive. Not just that I was the guy that cut his arm off, but I'm the guy who is smiling when he cut his arm off. Alive Again, a podcast about the fragility of life, the strength of the human spirit,

and what it means to truly live. Listen to Alive Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This question I'll ask all the guests. And I asked this question, this podcast, it's Just Healed with Dr. J. You've been open about your healing journey. I've been open about my healing journey.

And I asked myself this question, and it was one that I had to take a deep breath and deep sigh. When you think about healing, what does healing means to you, to Talaz? See? Well, I'll tell you this, it ain't all pretty, you know, because you're gonna have to open up

some scars that hurt and cause you gonna have to open up some scars that hurt and you gonna have to go to some ugly places. But the only way to get through it is to get through it. You can't go under it, you can't go over it, you can't avoid it cause eventually it's gonna implode. Eventually it's gonna overtake you. So you have to go through the muck to get through to the other side.

They always say, I know it's cliche, after every storm, the sun comes out, gotta go through the storm first. But that's how you have to undo. And undoing sometimes can be very uncomfortable. You have to have very uncomfortable conversations with yourself, with people, you know, who helped with the trauma.

But, you know, it can be tough, but you can do it. You know, if I could do it, if Jay can do it, you can do it, because it's in you to do it. And it's your responsibility. Yes. You know, you can't keep blaming everybody, especially at a big grown age. At some point, you have to take responsibility for your healing. You must. Yes. You know, you can't keep blaming everybody, especially at a big grown age. At some point, you have to take responsibility

for your healing, you must. Yes. You know? Do you feel a lot of people are afraid to take responsibility? Oh, absolutely, because they're scared to go through the storm. You know, they think somehow sweeping things under the carpet is gonna make it good.

But, you know. And as I said, just because you hide, it doesn't mean it's not there. It's always there. It comes out in ways. You know, it comes, it manifests itself in how you deal with people. That part.

Mm-hmm. If you drinking too heavy, you smoking a little too much, like all of that is escapism. If you going out, eating too much sex, I mean, it manifests itself in all kinds of ways. So you gotta deal with it. Yes, you gotta deal with it. Because if you don't deal with it. Gonna deal of ways. So you gotta deal with it. Yes, you gotta deal with it.

Cause if you don't deal with it. Gonna deal with you. It's gonna deal with you. Deal with you and it's going to affect your health. You have a nervous system. Come on, talk about it. I mean, I'm not a scientist, I'm not a doctor. Come on, talk about it.

But I am a doctor, but you know, because I, what is it, honorary? Yes, yes, you are. Right. But I'm not that kind of doctor. But I do know you have a nervous system and your body listens to your brain, you know? And so if you're not feeding yourself good information,

it's gonna show up in your body. You said what I want, you look good, what fountain you drinking from? I said the fountain of peace. The fountain of peace, you hear that? I protect my peace at all costs. If you not on a healing journey, I can't talk to you. Bye bye.

I can't, I can't do it. Can't do it, cause it costs too much. It costs me my peace and I'm not willing to give that up. I finally got here. You understand what I'm saying? Yes, you better exhale. I finally got here. You know how hard and how long

and how much stuff I had to go do to get here? Like I finally got here and I'm just not gonna let anybody disturb me from my peace. Yeah. T, when I tell you I love that for you and to see your journey, and that's really what I was telling CJ, I said, ma'am, I really want us all to get to a place

where we're just not stuck on survival. Yeah. And we're not stuck on, you know, just trying to figure it out each time and just like allowing ourselves to have this level of peace where we know what it's like to just breathe. Yeah, yeah. And it's gonna take us to heal us, you know what I mean?

Nobody's gonna come and save us. Yeah. You know, and I think what we're doing, the work that we're doing is so important because we're allowing people to the freedom to feel the feels and to talk about it in the open. Cause once upon a time, this wasn't talked about like that.

No, it wasn't. Everybody was pretending to be strong and act like they have it together, especially celebrities or people in the limelight because people on the outside look in and think, oh, they have everything. And I'm gonna tell you something, like the great guru Biggie Small said, more money, more problems, because money does not, the rich people, the filthy rich, they're the most unhealed, unhealthy folk walking the universe, because money can't fix it.

It can't. Bishop Jakes told me this is recently, he said, I was telling him about the podcast, and he was excited and everything I'm doing, and he looked at me and he said, you don't realize how much we need it. He said, I don't know, and he said, you know what type of people I'm connected to Jay.

He said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. Listen. And I mean, he was in his fashion. I don't know anybody that's at peace. You gotta do this. And I'm like, this should, cause he said, think about celebrities and the entertainers and all these high level,

especially for black people who are under this umbrella of a black excellence that I think oftentimes is really blanketed in black anxiety. Mm, ooh, ooh, a chill went up my spine when you say that. Because there's this pressure to keep performing. Yeah. And he said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now.

So to hear you come in and say, I'm drinking from the fountain of peace. Baby, listen, I'm not even dating right now. Somebody was like, you're not dating? No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed son. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah, hallelujah. Because I'm telling you, I've had my house renovated, right?

And I found this incredible black couple out of the South to come in and to design the interior. And they are incredible. But I told them in the beginning, I said, I want it to look like a straight girl house. When you come in here, if I start dating, I don't want no dude to feel like, oh yeah, I can know you can't move up in here. In fact, guess what? I don't even have a drawer

for your stuff. I don't have a drawer because my stuff is in all the drawers. So pack your bag when you come and pack it up when you go. And you know, I'm even thinking about like the marriage thing. Like I don't even know if I need the stresses of that in my life. A lifetime partner for sure. But at this big old age, I'm not having kids. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

I want a partner. I don't know if I want the papers to go. I don't know if I want that. No, I'm not saying I don't want a man. I need to be very clear with you. But that's real though, T. That's real because at this season and at this juncture, the work you've done, and I often tell people,

the work that you've done, you would have to undo this to deal with somebody who hasn't done work, who's afraid to do work, and then who's not really committed to the work. And I'm not willing to do that. They'll start going to therapy just because you talked about it, but you're not really committed because you really go into therapy because I brought it up, but you're not really interested in growing and evolving.

And if you're not with somebody that is committed to their own journey. Yeah, then I can't help you. Because I'm not willing to give up my piece. I fought too hard to get here. I'm just not willing. I even do this, like, you know, there's certain things that I will go to in the industry

and certain things that I won't. The first question I ask is, is this going to cost me any parts of my piece? Because if it is, I don't have to go. I don't have to go. I don't care. It's funny you say that because I started telling my manager that I said,

to leave my house now, you gotta pay me to leave my piece. Because my home, I've created such a serene, just, I'm living, my place overlooked the water. It's just, if I leave man, and it's not even about the bag anymore. I was about to say that because it could be a bag and I'd be like, that sounds like chaos, give it to somebody else. I've turned down jobs as this directors. I just, energy is transferable.

And so what I do as an artist, like I have to open up chakras, I let these characters come inside my body and use my body as a vessel to tell their story. That's a very vulnerable place to be. So if I don't feel like I'm protected, if I don't feel like I'm gonna be protected in an environment that is nurturing to the process, I will turn it down.

No, that's right. Cause I can't, I can't sacrifice myself like that. Especially for these up and coming artists who feel like they have to listen. If I haven't learned anything else on my journey from you, from Tracy, from all of the people that mentor me, they always say, man, be very particular about what you say yes to.

And everything ain't about a dollar. Like, be careful what you ask for. You be very specific, be very clear on what you're asking for. Like these kids, they see the limelight, they see, they don't realize we're still real people going through real stuff. Like it's not just you become an actor

and all of a sudden life is pristine and it's, no, you go, you put on the show and then you still go back home to the mess you left. That's, you know, I think it's harder for what we do because we have to show up and pretend like everything's, you know, I think it's harder for what we do because we have to show up and pretend like everything. So there have been times when I have, I was going through hell in scenes that you've seen me in movies.

My life was in shambles, but I had to pretend like everything was okay. That is the hardest thing to do. And it is, it strips your soul. I can't explain it. You just, there were times where I just felt so empty and lost, you know? Because there was no safe landing for me.

It was always show up, you gotta be on, you gotta show the people everything's okay. And it's like, but I'm not, I'm not okay. You know, as you're talking, one of the characters that stand out to me when you were talking about just being at a place where it's like your life is in shambles. The other day I was watching Hustle & Flow. Oh.

And that character, I mean, was just, I mean, you can see this push and this pull, but you can see this love, you can see this care, but you can also see the vulnerability, because she was at, you know what I mean, you know, his, you know, at the mercy of him, of DJ. Was that like, and just a little bit about that, how was that? Because I'm sure there's this war between the character and the reality, you know what I mean?

Well, for me, when I first got the script, I remember John Singleton made Rest in Peace, I miss you so much. He was like, I need your eyes. He always told me about my eyes. He was like, you don't have to do much. You just have to think it and the camera's gonna do the rest. Cuz I came from theaters, I was very big.

But and I'm glad he said it like that. And he was like, you pick the character you wanna play. And of course Lexis, the loud mouth with the blonde hair, that character, of course she jumped off the page because she was loud about it. But when he said, I need your eyes, it's very specific. And that's when I leaned into Suge because she was the quiet mouse. And then I started thinking about the women who choose,

because I don't think people, some women are forced into sex working and some choose to do that. But I started thinking about her and I was thinking about this one in particular. And I was thinking about, oh, who didn't love her? Because she just seemed like someone who did not feel seen. Yes. Yes. Right?

Yeah. And that's how I played it. I played the why. And so for her to turn tricks, it was her way of giving love, because no one loved her. And so that's what you saw in her. And I was like, I want people to wanna reach

through this screen and hug her. I said, I want people to see this diamond in the rough. Because that's what all people who aren't seen, they are diamonds, we're all diamonds. It takes pressure to make a diamond, right? But if you're not seen and no one takes care, find the diamond and dust it off, and then it'll just be a dirty rock, right?

And so that's how I played her. I played the Y. And that's how you gain the empathy of an audience. Even with the worst character in the world, a villain, if you play the why, and that's how you gain the empathy of an audience, even with the worst character in the world, a villain, if you play the why, then the audience will feel for even the villain. Yes. But there's always a why a person is the way they are.

But I just knew that she had been through a lot of mistreatment and abuse, probably, and just thrown away and tossed aside and treated like property. You know, that's why that moment in the studio, when she hears her voice for the first time is like, look, oh man, that, when I tell you that part broke me, cause I'm, I'm thinking from a healing perspective is that most people just want to know that their voice matters.

Right. Cause you, the director was very smart. Craig Brewer, I love you. But the director was very smart because I remember I did this, and he ran in and whispered in my ear, he said, put your hand on your mouth. And I did that. And it was almost like that came out of my mouth.

So he was tracking what I was thinking. Yeah. You know, that was a very special project for me and I got paid nothing for it. But those independent films, you do it for other reasons. You know, it was the story for me. But all of that, and as you talk, all of that just really stood out for me

because it was the first time that I ever watched a film from a clinical or from a psychoanalytical perspective. And I was looking at the characters, because sometimes I'll do that, because it really helps me to really connect with people, even in speaking, because most people, if you have not been seen, if you have not been heard, you don't feel valuable.

And in that moment, Shug felt like, hey, I'm somebody. I could be somebody, I could do something, I could do more than what I'm doing. Like you saw her come alive. That's what you have done for so many people in the mental health space. Thank you, I hope so. No, there's no hope, you have done that,

you have helped so many people heal and especially during the time of the pandemic where people needed somebody to talk to. I believe people wasn't just looking for therapy. People just was looking for space where they can share unapologetically and just to really have an environment where it's like, man, I don't have to be whatever roles or titles that I did. And I just wanna say thank you for taking out the time to come on this podcast. Just to- You knew I was coming.

Yeah, yeah. Listen, listen, I know I love you. I love me, I love you and Tracy. Y'all have just been so amazing. And it was y'all because when Will reached out about the podcast and I'm telling you, I was just like, man, I don't know if I wanna do it. I didn't know if it would be a space because I was like.

Oh, I was gonna make you do it. Cause he came to my trailer where we were on Fight Night. He was like, do you know any men who are in the mental health spa? I said, I sure do right now. And I sent them your page. I said, this is the guy you want. I said, he already has an audience. The men already trust him.

You know, it's not new new. I said, that's who you want. Tap him right away. I didn't even pause when he asked. Yeah. And I appreciate it. And I just want to say thank you and keep being a light that you are to the world, because in this climate, we need it.

And I like to acknowledge not what you do, but just who you are, because acting is just that that's a gift. But who you are as a person because you have to have a real heart to care about more than just yourself and what you've done with the foundation and even what you continue to do you care about more than just yourself and I know your father's proud to do this in the honor of him and then just for us as a people who need so much healing. But you have blazed a trail for us to do it and to continue to do it.

Because again, it was a black woman and it would be you go down in history. Taraji started this movement. So I just want to say thank you for starting the movement and allowing me to be a part of it. So yeah, absolutely. So again, to all of my healers, listen, please subscribe. You can watch Just Heal Dr. J on my YouTube channel, Just Heal Dr. J, or you can listen audibly

on The Black Effect and iHeart. Just Heal with Dr. J. And until next time, remember, healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination. Just Heal with Dr. J, a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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