The Breakfast Club - Should You Apply Marriage Rules In Dating?

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Should You Apply Marriage Rules In Dating?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, my undeadly darlings. It's Teresa, your resident ghost host. And do I have a treat for you. Haunting is crawling out from the shadows, and it's going to be devilishly good. We've got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on. So join me, won't you? Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight, if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. Niminy here.

I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. The crack of the bat and another one gone. The tip of the cap, there's another one gone. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history.

Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.

She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other, so join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God. We are The Breakfast Club. We got our special guest co-host, Big Sue, K97 Memphis. Now, if you're just joining us, we're asking 800-585-1051. A gentleman called this morning during Get It Off Your Chest and was talking about his book, Marriage Rules in Dating.

All right. And we were talking about should you use marriage rules in dating? 800-585-1051. Charlam said no uh yeah i agree with him i don't think marriage rules should uh be implied uh in dating or not implied or imposed i don't know what that word i'm looking for but marriage rules should not be involved when you're just dating somebody when you're just dating somebody you dating them you know what i mean and as y'all grow in the relationship then then you start to say to yourself, oh, this is somebody I may want to be with, you know, as a husband, as a wife. And then that might start to evolve into what looks like more of a marriage. And then hopefully you get engaged and then you actually become married. But if you just date in a person, you ain't got no reason to be treating that person like a husband.

And you ain't got no reason to be treating that person like a wife. If y'all just date. So, you know what? I got to co-sign that. I think sometimes people get to dating and they're too early in the relationship and then they start you know dating with a marriage mind is one thing but starting too early before you really know a person that's when you run into problems see i also think there's different stages of dating right there's young dating where i think people are young and they're just out having fun but i

think there's also an age where it's like people are ready to find that right person and in that situation i feel like you almost have to have marriage rules because you don't want you don't want nobody to waste your time that causes a lot of problems you want to make sure that that person has the same aspirations the same inspiration the same ethics the same morals even when it comes to financing and it comes to credit it comes to because you're trying to build a life with this person and if their if their values don't fit with yours you want to know early before you waste your time because you could be in a situation for a year and you're wasting your time with that person a lot of people lose people like that though because you know you'd be a a man or a woman that's really looking for marriage like you're really looking like you're chasing it right

and then you get with a person that might be 40 something 50 something that don't want that that person might have already been divorced or that person may have never wanted to be married and not being that you want such a major commitment they falling back from you like oh but don't you want to know that early if that person's not on that same vibe as you if you're ready to rock lock and you know do it now and they like nah don't you want to know early before i waste my time waste my birthdays waste my valentine's tell me so we don't even go on a date yeah but at the same time you can't go in placing real heavy expectations on it early in the relationship. That's right.

Yeah. Well, let's go to the phone lines. 800-585-1051. Lake, what up, Lake? What's up, man? What's going on? Hey, how you feeling, brother? What's up, Charlotte, man?

Peace, King. What's up, big shoe? Hey, good morning. All right, on the topic of dating and marriage rules. In my opinion, I want to say that first. It's just my opinion i won't say that first it's just my opinion dating is an interview for marriage it's an extended interview your interest in the position is shown in in your performance so if you're gonna show up and step out of the interview you're not interested i think it's a difference in seeing if somebody is marriage material as

opposed to laying down marriage rules right because like the things that you give a person in marriage when you are dealing with an individual you can say to yourself man this is somebody that i would do all of that for so i think what he's saying is true i just think that you know when you're dating somebody you're realizing that they are marriage material. That don't mean you should apply the marriage rules yet. Hello, who's this? Hey, my name is Dingo. Hey, Dingo. What's going on, brother? Hey, what's up,

y'all? How y'all feeling? Bless Black and Holly favor. Good, brother. That's what I'm talking about. How you feeling, my brother? You good? You good? Charlamagne. God, I love you, my brother. Love you too, Dingo. Big too. How you doing? Hey, I'm doing good. How you doing this morning? Hey, I'm good. Representlamagne, the God. I love you, my brother. Love you too, Dingo. Big 2. How you doing? Hey, I'm doing good.

How you doing this morning? Hey, I'm good. Representing Memphis. I like that. You sound great. Thank you. Absolutely. So my take on this whole situation, I just recently started dating a nice young lady.

We're like a couple weeks in. And, you know, it's really important to make your intentions clear when you're dating. Those first couple dates are very vital to express yourself and what you guys want in the relationship because it'll make the dating process that much simpler. We have that understanding now. We know that we're dating with intention and we're just not putting the pressure on a time frame. We're just letting things go day by day

and we're enjoying each other's company and that's really all you got to do and then once that blossoms into something else we go see where it goes i agree with you so much dingo because like dating dating is a process right it's a process in which two people get to know each other better marriage man is when two people make a commitment to be together for the rest of their lives you're not getting that if we just dating yeah but you got to get to that but you got to make sure commitment to be together for the rest of their lives. You're not getting that if we just dating. Yeah, but you got to get to that. But you got to make sure that y'all align the same.

You know what I mean? Because you could be wasting a lot of time with people. You know what I mean? Some people, one side might be in it for fun and another side might be in it for the long distance. But you want to know these things now and you want to know if you're compatible, if everything actually matches. That's why you date.

You date to learn all of that. Let's go to one more caller. Hello, who's this? Yeah, what's up, Envy? This is Q. This is Mr. Don't Put Marriage Rules in Dating Himself. Oh, yeah, you wrote the book. Yeah, we talked about you this morning. Yeah, I wanted to elaborate on it, you know. I could definitely

give some commentary context to that. Go ahead, King. Sell your book, King. You know, it's like this. You know, a lot of people get into relationships and they ask the wrong things. They try to find out the wrong things. You got to know who your mate is. You understand?

I want to know how you was raised. I want to know if you had both parents. I want to know if you carrying some trauma, some PTSD. Right. I want to know everything about you. You know, people talk about what the obvious, what they like, the superficial stuff. But I want to know what I probably won't like. Like, give me the other stuff.

Let me get to know who you are. What's, you know, how you was raised. I agree with you. You got brothers. I think I agree. You got sisters. I agree with you. Yeah.

Thank you, Q. Absolutely. 800-585-1051. We're asking, do you guys put marriage rules into dating? That is the question. Should you? Let's discuss. It's The Breakfast Club.

Good morning. Daddy calling my phone. Tell her I made it. It's topic time. Call 800-585-1051 to join in to the discussion with The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God. We are The Breakfast Club.

We got our guest co-host, Big Sue. Of course, K97 Memphis. And we're asking 800-585-1051, do you guys put marriage rules into dating? I kind of feel like you have to, though. I kind of feel like that's what you want as a goal. You want to get the get the i don't want to say the duds but the duds out the way early yeah but what about the process i was dating is the process you're going through the process you're learning a person you're getting to know somebody better i'm not saying you're giving me the ring the first day i'm just saying not even the ring the commitment that comes with the ring marriage is a commitment

to be together for the rest of your life. Correct. With a person. I'm not going in there giving somebody that energy. I'm just dating. Sherry. Hello. Hey, good morning, mama.

Good morning. What's your thoughts? Honestly, you hear me? Yeah, we hear you clearly. Oh, Lord, she want to get married tomorrow. Honestly, I feel like in those relationships, I feel like marriage rules kind of make their way, depending on how connected you are in the relationship you're in. I think rules kind of bring themselves into the relationship that you're in, especially out of respect.

I don't feel like, like you said, you should be treated like a wife or a husband because to me, that levels to your roles in relationships. But certain roles just find their way in there. And if you respect yourself and know yourself, then you can have a conversation with the person that you're with. And you guys can be mutually, will mutually agree on certain aspects of your relationship. Mm. Okay. Thank you, mama. Reggie, good morning.

Good morning. I just wanted to touch on the marriage subject, on the roles and whatever. Yes, sir. And I feel like, man, it's definitely marriage roles that, you know, single people shouldn't get. Like, next week is my three-year anniversary, and four or three years ago, I couldn't see myself giving a woman a passcode to my phone, sharing my location indefinitely. I always have to respond to stuff like that. Man, look, it's completely different, but I love it.

You know what I'm saying? I'm going on three years. I wouldn't change for the world, but it's completely different, but I love it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going on three years. You know, I wouldn't change for the world, but it's definitely a difference in roles that should be separate from marriage and dating. And we all know the difference because we've all been in situations where we were dating and we've all been in, well, not all of us, but most of us, we're all married is what I'm saying. We know the difference between dating and marriage. Right.

So, yes, there's certain things that you are doing in a marriage that you wouldn't think of doing with somebody you just dated. Coach David. Yo, yo, what's going on? DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God. How y'all doing? What's up, brother? Say what up to Big Sue.

Big Sue, how you doing, beloved? Good morning. Hey, good morning. How you doing? All right. Listen, you asked a very good question earlier, the difference between being married and and being you know just dating you know um as a man as a man of a certain age and being married to my wife over 21 years

um i look at it like this there's a difference between dating and courting if you're dating you know we we're we're just being friends we're being friendly being cool we can know each other you know we go out on a few dates when we're courting that's the situation i'm probably We're just being friends. We're being friendly, being close. We get to know each other. You know, we go out on a few dates. When we're courting, that's a different situation. I'm probably meeting your parents at some point. We're preparing for marriage. So there's a level of commitment that's there.

You got to think about it like this. You want eggs and bacon in the morning, right, for breakfast. Turkey bacon. There's a different level of commitment between a chicken and a pig. A chicken can give an egg and still live. That pig got to give his life for us to eat bacon. So there's a different level of commitment. When you marry. Are you calling your wife a pig?

Come on, man. I know how I knew. How I know you were going to do that, bro. I'm just saying. I don't know. I want to call my wife a piece of pork, man. I'm hungry now. I don't want to call my wife no pork, bro. I'm hungry now. I don't want to call my wife no pork, bro.

Come on, man. I get what you're saying, though. I respect what you're saying. Please bake it, my guy. Please bake it. Okay, I get what you're saying, though. I do understand what you're saying. Thanks, coach.

All right. Coach is basically saying, be pork. I'm hungry now. That's what he's saying, be pork. But actually, he made a really good point, the difference between courting and just and just dating because some people are just dating and marriage isn't in the cards they enjoy dating they like the companionship marriage isn't a goal for them you need to know that i never thought about that either it's levels right because i guess it's dating and then i didn't realize courting is when you about to take it to that next level which is probably the engagement

in marriage i never thought about it like that. Yeah, definitely levels. All right, well, what's the moral of the story? The moral, dating is a process. You know what I'm saying? Marriage is a commitment. You know,

can't give somebody the commitment while you're just going through the process. All right. All right, when we come back, we got your rumor report. Big Sue,

what we talking about in the rumors this time? Oh yeah, we got to talk about Michael Orr. Oh Lord have mercy. I laughed at that yesterday so much because I always knew that yesterday so much.

Because I always knew that day was up to no good in that damn house. I had a whole other theory, okay, that I still think is true. But we'll discuss. All right. We'll get into that next. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. Hey, guys.

I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, my undeadly darlings. It's Teresa, your resident ghost host.

And do I have a treat for you. Haunting is crawling out from the shadows, and it's going to be devilishly good. We've got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on. So join me, won't you? Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight, if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. The crack of the bat and another one gone. brings history to life through hip-hop. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history, like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus

nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. And it began with me. Did you know, did you know? I wouldn't give up my seat. Nine months before Rosa, it was called a four-month. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records.

Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.

Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? This is Ramses Jha. And I go by the name Q Ward. And we'd like you to join us each week for our show Civic Cipher. That's right. We discuss social issues,

especially those that affect black and brown people, but in a way that informs and empowers all people. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to police violence. And we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other. So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.