The Breakfast Club - The "Flesh Flavored" Vegan Burger...

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

That is WAY too much dang mayonnaise See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete.

Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka-stan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-a-stan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, my undeadly darlings. It's Teresa, your resident ghost host. And do I have a treat for you. Haunting is crawling out from the shadows, and it's going to be devilishly good. We've got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on. So join me, won't you? Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight

if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? This is Ramses Jha. And I go by the name Q Ward. And we'd like you to join us each week for our show, Civic Cipher. That's right. We discuss social issues, especially those that affect black and brown people,

but in a way that informs and empowers all people. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other. So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.

Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's time for donkey of the day So if you ever feel I need to be a donkey man Hit me with the heel Did she get donkey in the name please Absolutely I have become donkey of the day It's a breakfast club bitch

You're a donkey Oh lord have mercy Donkey of the day for Wednesday June June 29th, my born day. Big cancer energy. Drop on the clues bombs for me and all the cancers out there. Red, drop on the clues bombs for yourself. It's your born day today, too. Okay?

You see me out here with my shorts above my knees. Now, when I sit down, they ride up. Right? All the thigh meat is out. Get a close-up, Nick. Get a close-up of these thighs, Nick. Okay, let the street see this thigh meat, okay? Envy, come look at my thigh meat. No. Get a close-up, Nick. Get a close-up of these thighs, Nick. Okay, let the street see this thigh meat, okay? Envy, come look at

my thigh meat. No. Come here, man. No. Do my thighs make you hungry? Look, look, look, look, look. Look. Do my thighs, look. Do my thighs make your mouth water? Nope. Hmm? Do they make your stomach growl? Nope. If the answer is yes, you're not gay, you're a cannibal. Okay? Listen to what I

said. I said said do my thighs make your mouth water and your stomach growl those are signs of hunger so if you see this thigh meat i'm showing and you got hungry you're a cannibal and you want to eat me okay oh don't think that there aren't people out here who desire to taste the human flesh because there absolutely is people out here desire to taste the human flesh and that that is why we are here today, because to curb that hunger, this Swedish plant-based company called Oomph has created a flesh-flavored burger. Did you hear what I just said? I said for all you cannibals who I guess then turned vegan, the Swedish plant-based food brand Oomph has created a flesh-flavored burger. I can't make this kind of stuff up.

Would you like to hear the commercial for it? Well, here you go. At Oomph, we turn plants into any mouth-watering meat you can imagine. This Halloween, we bring you the scariest plant-based food ever. Plant-based human meat. So be scared, but relax, Because it's plant-based. The Human Meat Plant-Based Burger. Do you dare to taste it? Only available this Halloween.

Because otherwise it would be creepy. Oh, it's not creepy any other day? What are you talking about? This flesh-flavored burger won a silver brand experience award at the cans lions festival of creativity last week that's where i was at i was at the cans lions festival of creativity in cans france last week uh representing my company's black effect and uh my amazing partners here at i heart radio and they had all these activations amazing activations you know i spoke on some panels with my good sister, Dolly Bishop. I learned a lot, but if I would have known about this, this activation, I would have stopped by. And the reason I would have stopped by is because I need to know who

are these humans who have actually eaten other humans to know that this plant-based burger actually tastes like human flesh. See, I experiment with plant-based things. So if someone gives me plant-based chicken, plant-based beef, I clearly have eaten real beef and eaten real chicken to know what it tastes like. Who are these individuals walking around this third rock from the sun with us who have eaten actual humans to know this oomph burger that tastes like human flesh slaps? Okay? Now, for all the cannibals listening,

I salute all the cannibals who listen to The Breakfast Club. If you're concerned the special edition plant-based human flesh isn't realistic enough, do not fear. A spokesperson said they've done their best to make sure it's as lifelike as possible. Crafting it from soya, which I've never heard of, mushrooms and wheat protein, as well as plant-based fats and a mysterious spice mix. Mysterious spice mix. As if the human flesh y'all was eating wasn't mysterious enough. This is why I never ate mystery meat. Who in this room has ever ate meat that was labeled a mystery?

Raise your hands. Nobody. Okay. Somebody's lying. The conspiracy theorist in me is saying they are making this plant-based human flesh tasting meat to confuse the zombies. Okay. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you throw some of that plant-based human flesh at them,

it might keep them off us. But the conspiracy theorist in me has always believed that mystery meat was human flesh, all right? Somebody tells me it's mystery meat, I ask, why is it a double-damned mystery? What secret are you keeping? You can't tell me what type of meat this is because you know it's Jamal or Tyrone, all right?

I truly believe that a lot of these people go missing because in this world there are humans who have a literal hunger for other humans. And don't think for one second. Don't think for one second that we're over your weight overturned and you're forcing women to have babies they can't afford to have. They won't be concealing their pregnancies, carrying these babies to term, having them and selling the flesh on the black market for these cannibals to have their human versions of veal. I'm sorry my brain works this way, but it just does. OK, I think this company needs to be investigated. All right. That's scary as advertisement that was released on Halloween Eve in 2021. Does that not sound like the devil is busy? And the fact that a spokesperson had to say no humans were injured in the development of this product.

Yeah, because they came to you already dead all right you didn't injure them to eat them but somebody did if you have to tell people no humans were injured in the development of this product then guess what some humans were probably injured in the development of this product okay this is one of those mornings when i wish we was on tv all right but we're gonna put this on youtube later nick you have to put the commercial into this donkey of the day okay because you have to put the commercial into this donkey of the day, okay? Because you have to see this commercial. The people have to see this commercial. It's a dimly lit hallway with a figure walking

towards the doorway and then this cook preparing some meat and on the screen it flashes plant-based human flesh. And then the words be scared. And then the words relax. And then it dares viewers to taste it. This is going to do one of two things.

Either help cannibals who have turned vegan or make people who never had real human flesh eat this and then wonder what real humans taste like. Oh, oh, oh, y'all think the hoochie daddy phenomenon on social media is a coincidence. No, they setting you up. They got you out here showing off your thighs because they looking for their next meal. Now we have the audio from the chef and a co-founder of this company, Ann Kinlinden. Let's hear what he had to say.

We can make oomph taste like any meat you can ever imagine. This Halloween, we have challenged ourselves. We have stepped it up and the most scary thought we have actually never tasted the real human meat. That's for me it's too crazy. So what we have done we have researched a lot. I went into my kitchen and start to see how close I could come and then we have a soy protein, mushrooms, wheat protein, some starch and some secret spicing that we cannot tell the world so it's a good burger.

That man said the developing of a plant-based burger that tastes of human meat was exciting and a little bit scary. Scary for who? I'm the one who is scared. Because there's people on this planet actually eating people. Because how else would they know that this plant-based burger actually tastes like humans? I don't know what's going on in this world, people. But we better pay attention. And I also want you to know that if you eat ass, you're flirting with being a cannibal. Yo, shut up, man.

Please give this company oomph. The biggest E-haw. Now, there's four people in this room other than me. We got DJ Envy, Red, who's also celebrating a born day today. There's three people in this room other than you.

No, it's not. Nick, our cameraman, and Brandon. That is so disrespectful that you did not see Brandon over there. Oh, I didn't see Brandon over there.

I can't see him. He's the darkest brother in this room. I can't see him. That's our brother from Ghana who works here at the breakfast club. That's disrespectful. I didn't see him there. He was standing right behind me before. How many times have the lights been off, our brother from Ghana. I can't see Brandon. Who works here at the breakfast club. That's disrespectful.

I didn't see him there. He was standing right behind me before. How many times have the lights been off, Brandon, and people say they couldn't see you? And they told you to smile. Exactly. That's disrespectful. Now, who in here has ever thought about eating another human? Like, actually consuming them?

Like, butt? Okay. You know what? Never mind. All right. I'm just saying, y'all to stay a walk out here, people. All right. It's going down in these streets.

All right. Y'all think this Hoochie Daddy short thing is some type of social media phenomenon. No, they sizing up their meals for the summer. All right. All right. Well, thank you for that donkey of the day. Up next, Ask C&E. Okay. Okay. 800-, ask C&E. Okay, okay.

800-585-1051. If you need relationship advice or any type of advice, you can call C&E right now. We'll help you out with all your problems, all right? If you're having a problem with your baby daddy, your baby mama, something going on in your relationship and you need a little bit of advice, we're here for you. 800-585-1051. Again, ask C&E. 800-585-1051 if you need relationship advice

or any type of advice. We are here for you. Angel Lee is out. We're just going to do our best. I ain't promising you nothing. I'm not an expert

on anything. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. I appreciate it. Put a little cap on his head.

Put a little cap on me. Happy birthday to you. I appreciate it. Put a little cap on his head. Put a little cap on me. Happy birthday, dear Charlamagne. Oh, thank you. Happy birthday to you. Thank y'all very much. I appreciate the white people here at iHeart. You know they were white because they weren't singing the Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday. Except for my guy right here.

Hey, there you go. Sing it. Happy birthday to ya. Happy birthday. Hey. Thank y'all very much. I appreciate that. Oh my goodness. Love is love. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Alright, get out of here if I cry. Come on. You know I'm sensitive. I'm tender. The Breakfast Club. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more.

After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, my undeadly darlings. It's Teresa, your resident ghost host. And do I have a treat for you. Haunting is crawling out from the shadows, and it's going to be devilishly good. We've got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on.

So join me, won't you? Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight, if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Marie. And I'm Sydney. And we're Mess. Well, not a mess, but on our podcast

called Mess, we celebrate all things messy. But the gag is, not everything is a mess. Sometimes it's just living. Yeah, things like J-Lo on her third divorce. Living. Girls trip to Miami. Mess. Breaking up with your girlfriend while on Instagram

live. Living. It's kind of a mess. Yeah. Well, you get it. Got it? Live, love, mess. Listen to Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia

was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.