The Breakfast Club - The Hardest Part of Being Strong

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Loren LoRosa gets real about the pressure of being the “strong one” and why hyper-independence can make it difficult to trust, receive help, and let someone else take the lead. She shares what she’s learning about vulnerability, relationships, marriage, motherhood, and the work of unlearning what she’s carried for years. Loren also dives into Mary J. Blige’s powerful conversation with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson about childhood trauma, forgiveness, motherhood, and finding your way through pain.YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell, purefiber internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. If your bookshelf and your for-you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks

Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture, with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude. is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lease Black Landsman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Tatoro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing my belt? To Bill Burr.

I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo. It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Tutro. And listen now.

I'm the homeguard that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. You hear that excuse? You know if you don't lie about that, right? Lauren came in. Hi. Hey, y'all, what's up? It's Lauren La Rosa, and this is another episode of the latest with Lauren the Rosa. This is your daily dig on all things, pop culture, entertainment news, and all of the conversations

that shake the room, baby. Now, y'all know we kick off the latest with Lauren the Rosa behind the scenes of the grind. So let's get on into it. Back on the grind. Now this behind the scenes of the grind kind of like leads into the latest a bit and into the conversation we'll be having. I did a sit down with Kev on stage, comedian, internet personality, I guess you could call him, but writer, director. Him and his wife were doing amazing things across the internet, but also in real life when it comes to storytelling. He has a podcast called Not My Best Moment.

And on this podcast, we sat down and talked about a bunch of different things. One of the clips, though, that is my favorite from the interview, kind of brings you guys behind the scenes a bit with me, but also I think it summarizes a lot about what I take you guys into in my real life behind the scenes of the grind. We're talking about being hyper-independent as a woman child and where that lands you in relationship and in life and in work. Let's take a listen. Not even just in work, but in like my personal life, it's like, I don't have time for you to tell me you can't figure it out or fix it. I'm going to just do it myself. Because the more time you take trying to figure out to fix it, something else is going to happen. And a lot of these things,

Like, you know, when you're dealing with like, you know, whether it's like me, like my mom and my grandmother, right? Like, they're older. So if it's like a health thing with them or like whatever, no, we got to get that nipped right now because time is of the essence. I don't have time. They don't, literally, they don't have the time. I've just, that's just been something that's been like ingrained in me.

I think too because I'm like the oldest child in my family and the girl child. Oldest girl. Yeah. Oh, wow. That makes so much sense. My wife is an oldest girl. Oh, she'd be on it. And she don't let you, you have to talk her into letting you do things for her.

Yes. Right. I just made this post about how hard it is to like even open the door. You almost have to race her just to open the door. My boyfriend literally, it is, it's been, even with the whole like walking on inside of the street, that I had to learn that. That was new for me. I have to almost fight with her about this. He will literally like move me.

He always tells me like, yo. So interesting. Like, relax. I'm like, girl, let me be with you as a man. That's, we have that conversation so much. And it's not even like a, like a, I'm trying not to let you be with me as a man. It's just like I'm so used to, I got to do this regardless. But we've been together 26 years.

She still act like, and if you go on tomorrow, I could do it. She'll be moving furniture. Like, you don't need to do. What are you trying to prove? I will today, this morning I was packing up and I like had on my bags or whatever. And I had everything packed up and I'm taking stuff to the door. And he just was sitting there and he was like, so when you ready for me to grab the bags and walk out, let me know. And I was like, the Uber is downstairs. And he was like, we're going to the same Uber.

And I had to sit back and realize I'm like, he's right. Like, I don't have to. Yeah, but the, but. Now, here's the thing. I saw a lot of you guys, um, commenting on this post. Like, it, it kicked off a really big conversation, which I'm always excited about, but I'll be honest, it all, it's a little bit scary. Sometimes to hear people, um, or to see people commenting on things. And, you know, that are like so interpersonal for you like your thoughts, your emotions and stuff like that. But with this conversation, I was

more excited to see people not being afraid to be open and vulnerable. So you know we get out in the streets and in the tweets. We're taking it to the comments right now. You for the tweets. We outside. We outside. Outside. Every other page I go.

I'm Lauren the Rosa everywhere. So anytime you want your comment, your story or whatever featured, hit me up on social. L-O-R-E-N-L-O-R-E-N. R-L-S-A, and I'll bring it to the podcast. So there's one comment to her name is Tree underscore Moe on Instagram. She said, oldest daughter, granddaughter, and niece on both sides.

My mom is also an oldest daughter with the crying emoji face. Now, there's another woman who commented and said, her name is T-S-A-K-A-K-A-N-E-E-U-S-M. I think I've accepted that I am the backup plan, especially with my mom passing, and then adding on all these other things, you are trying to unlearn and not have them repeat. Accepting that life gets hard and we can't do it all at the same time.

Really helps. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. If your bookshelf and your For-U page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsesives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is the Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone. as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.

It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotbby, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors

and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Sean Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family.

It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There was another person that commented. I thought that this one was really good. Her name on Instagram is Yomtastic. Y-A-M-T-A-S-T-I-C. She says, ladies, hyper-independence is a beautiful thing.

There is nothing we can't do. However, too much hyper-independence without a balance in a relationship can lead you right back where you started. It's one thing to one man that leads helps with emotional regulation, etc. Versus hyper-independent stress or trauma, which leads to a core belief that relying on others is unsafe. And when she put that in parentheses, I'm like, yo, I feel seen. I always say, especially when I'm thinking about, like, becoming a mom. mom and getting pregnant because when a woman is pregnant, pregnant in a mother, but really when she's pregnant, right? Those nine months, you're so vulnerable, your emotions. Physically, your body is

different. Physically, what you're able to do on your own is different. There is a different level of attachment, I'm sure, to your partner and just to different things. And I've always been scared to do that with the wrong person. And I've also always said, I want to be married first. And I think in my mind, if I'm being completely honest and open, marriage to me was like, okay, at least if we're married, we have to do this together. The older I've gotten, I've realized, like, I got friends my age that have been divorced. That don't keep nobody, nor does no dang baby or anything like that. And I'm not even a type of girl that wants to do some things to keep a person. But the fear of being that vulnerable and that dependent on a person because you are creating life in a baby, but also literally

the life you are creating together. And then it's like, what if this doesn't work out? What if this person doesn't end up to be the person that I thought they were? That is such a big thing for me. So when she said that, I'm like, girl, I feel seen. It's people out here that feel hot. I feel like that is such an unsafe place to be in. Then she continues that contradict.

That's contradicting and requires healing. I'm like, oh, this girl is screaming at me right now. She is not quiet on a creek. Simply put, you can't want a man to leave but refuse to trust him or give him enough space to do so. again too much hyper independence may require some separate healing um there's another comment that's the last one i do i am coach fancy she says i feel her i'm being the oldest child and i'm the only girl at that we showed her so much and are so used to taking care of everything everyone that we don't know what it feels like the step back and be taken care of then when someone tries it's tough at times for us

to just be without trying to take care of things ourselves i'm a work in progress as well girl me too and it's not even just like being with somebody like as a man like i learned in my work career that is it's really tough for me to kind of just like I always like to say I'm a student but being a student is hard when you got to be vulnerable and trust people's leadership and trust their words and know that even if they hurt and they're not the best things you want to say the intention is there the intention is placed well um so look go check out the conversation y'all hit me up online lauraurauraura everywhere l-o-r-o-o-s-a tell me what y'all think about it only daughters oldest child i saw some younger children i saw some younger children i saw

called only male kid in the family, male child in the family commenting. I think we all can share a sense of community on this, and I want to get into that conversation. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell, connection is everything. If your bookshelf and your 4-U page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed.

I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, Nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality. of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes

without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around. here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies

you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. If you know, know me, you know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space

with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Sean Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And that leads us right on into the latest because Mary J. Blige and Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, in my opinion, are doing just that. They are sharing a sense of community around some real life issues.

Man, and Mary J. Blige gets very, very, very deep in this conversation. They talk about a range of things. Mary has had a career for decades that has literally paved the way and open doors for so many people. But behind the scenes, behind the scenes of her grind, she was dealing with things as well, too. They talk a bit about, you know, some of her childhood abuse. And we know Mary J. Blige has talked about, you know, experiencing abuse as a child and some of the different things that she's gone through. And she gets emotional as they talk through it here and talk about protecting our children. Let's take a listen.

I've experienced that level of abuse, but they haven't found a way through. I think the shame and the guilt is what has people in so much pain. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. But the forgiveness, the self-forgiveness is where the guilt and shame starts to fade away.

You know, you still see it. You still like, wow. Why did it happen to me? What did I do? Nothing. No. It's happening to everybody. Yeah.

So forgive yourself because it's not your fault. No matter what you think, it's not your fault. Forgive yourself. And don't feel any guilt or condemnation about it. And that's in the word too. But yeah, like, God says no guilt, no guilt. No guilt, no shame. Now that leads into a really, really interesting conversation about children.

Now, Mary J. Blige, I remember when she was promoting Good Morning Gorham, She was on a lot of press. She was coming up out of her divorce. She was married to Kendu, who was like her manager. You know, also, they were married 15 years. A lot of things tied together, but they had never had any children. And people would always try and have the conversation with her about why that didn't happen. I feel like she got very honest about it once she came up out of that divorce in that horrible situation.

And saying I didn't want kids, she didn't want kids because of just the things and all the stuff it took. But hearing Mary J. Blige talk about how that changes when she gets older was important. I found that you were very intentional on not having children of your own. Can you talk about why you chose not to? I saw a lot of people struggling. I saw a lot of, you know, my family members needing babysitters, them not having a choice, you know, no freedom. So when you're younger, those are the words you make. Those are the choices you made. I don't want any kids. But then when you get older, you start to see how valuable their teenagers are to them. their kids are to them. So now I was like, oh, man. But at the same time, it's like, that's what I'm saying, y'all.

I think on the surface level, it's like, it's the time, it's the patience, it's the money, it's all the things. But it's also the vulnerability. Like, you really have to have a good community set up when you step into these different phases of your life. Mary J. Blasch has also talked about, you know, because she had to play,

Ken do that $30,000 a month, and alimony, even though they didn't have kids once they split, she was on tour when she's doing all the Good Morning, gorgeous and all the things, literally working just to pay off what she needed to pay off to get as far away from that divorce as she could. And they did share stepchildren together, but I think everything that she went through

just trying to get away from him and everything, where she is now, it's night and day. And people always say, you know, like women have to be put in this, like, soft space to think about things differently. I don't feel like it's someone's job to do that if I'm being honest, although I love to hear people give me more responsibility or whoever your partner is, I think you have to put yourself in a space where you understand

what you need, what you want, and where you're kind of falling short or not being accountable on your end. Like my fear of vulnerability I know has stopped me from a lot of things. And y'all who here doesn't be like, girl, you'd be having us all in your business while you and other people business. But I know kind of what my boundaries are. I know the things that like, even if I talk about it in real life, it's like double-dutch. Like I'm scared to jump in about. And I think once I can do the work and get myself to the place where not only am I admitting that, but I've actually worked on it, I think my tune going to change a bit too.

Like I've always known I wanted kids, but actually planning them in real life and setting timelines for myself, whole new day, brand new day, okay? But that's because I'm coming about some things. And I'm really starting to have real conversations with myself about why I was fighting, you know, children and engagement and all these things for all these years. Granted, I don't think I've, you know, ever thought this seriously about that part of my life because of the people that the person I didn't have in my life then. Like now, you know, circumstances is different.

The person is different as well. But I think even outside of the person, like you have to be ready to meet the challenge. Like being married, again, doesn't automatically just change things or change a person. Like, it takes you to be in a certain. Like, you got to be in game old, you know, parenting hits. children hits, balancing career hits. And I think that's where even when people hesitate, when I hear women hesitate about having children young, a lot of it is career too. I know that it's been that for me as well.

So, you know, just listening to this conversation and seeing Mary J. Blige, talk about the pain that has been besought on her from others and the roadblocks that have been placed in her life. But taking accountability for where she messed up as she was trying to get over them. And just being human, it did something to me. So go take a listen to that conversation, y'all. and let me know how you all are feeling about it. There's a lot of deep conversation happening today. I'm Lauren LaRosa Everywhere. L-O-R-E-N-L-O-R-O-S-A.

I tell you guys, every single episode. Y'all could be anywhere with any old body talking about all of these things, but you guys choose to be with me, my little riders. I appreciate you, and I'll catch you in my next one. If your bookshelf and your for-you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone, who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island

deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to pro society on the Iheart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes

without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lee's Black.

Plansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Tatoro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing? My belt. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo. It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Tutoril. And listen now. I'm Hoda Kottenby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotbby. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.