The Breakfast Club - What Is Something You Wish You Knew About Marriage?

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

What Is Something You Wish You Knew About Marriage?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Morning everybody, it's DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha Guy. We are The Breakfast Club. We got our guest co-host Gia here. Hello, hello, hello beautiful people. Now we have a national best-selling book that's on out today on paperback, Real Life Real Love. So if you get a chance to go out there and get it, you can order it on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, or wherever you purchase your books. And she's here today and we're opening up the phone lines 800-585-1051. Before I got married, I wish somebody told me this. That is the question. So we'll start with you here. Before you got married, I wish somebody told you what? That it wasn't a cakewalk, that it wasn't as easy as television and fairy tales make it out to be, that it takes diligence and day-to-day hard work and dedication.

I'm not that easy? There are times that you are, but the overarching idea of marriage isn't easy because there's so many different layers to it. There's love, there's family, there's the business aspect of it. That's right. There's so many things to peel back. And each one of those layers have sub layers. So those are things that you have to consider before you decide to say I do, before you walk down that aisle. Because most people, when they envision marriage, they think more about the wedding. They think of the spectacle of it

and the beautiful dress, the bachelorette party. And that's all so exciting. But when those days are over, you're back from your honeymoon and you have to dig your heels in, then you start running into problems. And you have to know how to navigate those problems. And if you didn't learn from your parents as an example,

where do you learn from? And just like I said earlier, people turn to the wrong people for advice, people that aren't qualified to give them advice. And a lot of times the actions that people take to deal with those problems aren't rooted in reality. It's not rooted in actuality. It's not rooted in trust. So they don't know what to do. So what do they do? They act out of emotion. And when you act out of emotion, nine times out of 10,

it's a bad reaction and it's going to garner a bad result. So I think that people have to make it very, very, they'd be very proactive about learning about marriage before they decide to say I do. Wow. I just want to put that out there, that real life, real love paper book because right now when we discuss all that,

good plug, Good segue. Now, what about you, Charlotte Mike? I wish people told me nothing. You know what I mean? Because it's on the job training. And everyone's experience is different. What works for you may not work for me. And there's

no one set way to do this marriage thing. Marriage is not one size fits all. Marriage is a tailor-made custom outfit that is exclusive to you and your significant other. So you can tell me your experiences, but don't tell me how my marriage is going to be because you really don't know because you're not me and you're not my significant other.

I don't think that's inherently true because there are things that are right and wrong. Oh, absolutely. You know, and it's so interesting to me that a lot of times married people engage in the wrong behavior, knowing damn well that it's wrong. And I do think that there are things that they're not educated to know before they get married so i do think that you know there are things that a person even without the experience of being married can share with you to help you navigate your marriage you know even if no i agree even if they don't walk the same walk as you yeah i guess for me it's like when things go wrong you'll have people be like well i would have did this and i

would have did that but you're not that's ridiculous right yeah right you know right right so you know in that aspect I'm like you can't tell me how to do my marriage but is there something that someone could have told you before that you got before you got married that could have helped you something that maybe you just didn't really realize I don't know you know I also don't know because I didn't see a lot of uh healthy marriages coming up you know what I'm saying like my mom and dad got a divorce damn near all my aunts got divorced You know what I'm saying? Like my mom and dad got a divorce. Damn near all my aunts got divorced. You know what I mean? So I didn't really see a lot of relationships. I saw a lot of long relationships that didn't last.

You know, so they were together for a long time, but then they all decided to go separate ways. So I didn't really see, I didn't really have too many healthy relationships to look at growing up. So I think that kind of like answers the question in a sense. Maybe someone couldn't have told you something, but you probably would have benefited from good examples.

Good examples. Absolutely. Let's go to the phone lines. Hello. Who's this? Yo, this is B from Carolina, man.

What's up B? Talk to us. What's up B? Before you got married, you wish somebody told you what? Yo, before I got married, I promise you I wish somebody told me it's more to it than just cheating.

Like, I thought as long as I was faithful, everything else would be good. Wait, what was the last thing he said? He said as long as he was faithful, he thought everything would be good. So what's going wrong? What's the matter? What's bad in a relationship, I should say? Yeah, I'm going to say it'd be a little thing. Like, you know, they want to be like hell of a time at night.

They want to just know who you text and who you're talking to, what time you're going to be home, what time you leave. And I'm just like, it's a little, you know what I mean? So I'm like, yo, I don't cheat, so why we – So you don't want her to care? You don't want her to care is what you're saying? You don't want to hold her at night? You don't want to hold her at night?

Hold on, hold on. I say – hold on now. I say all the time. I say sometimes. You don't want to hold her at night? Hold on, hold on. I say, hold on now. I say all the time. I say sometimes. You know what I mean? It's just like, sometimes it's cool, but sometimes if you trust in your person, you'll hold the bait and everything. Man, nowadays people not checking where you are because they're concerned you out doing

dirt. They checking where you are because the world is crazy. The world is crazy, crazy. Hello, who's this? Hi. Hi, good morning. This is Yanique from Miramar, crazy. Hello, who's this? Hi, good morning. This is Yanique from Miramar, Florida. Hey, Yanique from Miramar.

Good morning, good morning. So two things. Go. Firstly, as it relates to I'm Jamaican, I'm always late. I can't testify without being late. A hundred percent. I'm Jamaican, and I'm always late, no matter what.

See, Rashawn, apparently it's in my blood. But Gia's always late, too. So y'all are on the same plane. You should go easier on me, then. Yes. And then as it relates to the husband question, I did not know that I would have been my husband's maid. Oh, you're the maid.

You got to do the cleaning, the cooking, and everything. I got to do everything. If we're going on vacation, I have to be packing for him. I got to pick up his socks because, you know, he gets home, he takes off his socks all over, leave them. Even the dog is even much more helpful than he is. What does he do? I was going to say, do you work?

And I work. And I work and I go to school full time. And plus we have three kids. But he's like an additional kid. Well, now you got three jobs. You work, you go to school, and you're the maid. Tell me about it. He said because he does the yard work, he can to school, and you're the maid. Tell me about it. He said because he does the yard work, he can't do the yard work and the housework.

That's true. I agree. That sounds like y'all are equally distributing duties. No, hold on. Okay, let's just be reasonable here. Yard work is not a daily job. It's a tough job. That's my point.

You don't cut the grass every single day. We have a yard, and it gets maintained once or twice a week. You couldn't do the yard work. Exactly. Would you want to cut the grass? You don't sound like a yard woman. No, I'm not. But that does not say you cannot help me around the house

because you have to cut the lawn. So what are you going to do about it? You're disgruntled. You don't like the situation that you're in. What are you going to do about it? I complain all the time. But then it's like you complain, today you tell, but then next week it's like a whole different story over again. So why don't you stop?

Because she gives him the Jamaican D and then she's happy after. You mean she gets it? Yeah, but then you know, also Jamaicans are very like OCD when it comes to cleaning. So like even though your complaint is like at the end of the day, you have to get it done. Okay. Can I ask you one question, Nick?

Mm-hmm. Are you with a Jamaican man? Yes, he's Jamaican as well. Is it true about Jamaican man eating a poom-poom? Or should you say not eating the poom-poom? I mean, they do. Man is Chinese Jamaican. Oh, okay.

My mother's half Chinese Jamaican. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? That means they like rice with it. They have a good looking texture. Oh, they eat unique things? And that's true.

They eat unique things is what she's saying. You hear what Gia said? What? Is that what you said? You can say it, man. It's all a man can't. I said it means they eat rice with it. Whoa. She's Chinese Jamaican. I said it means they eat rice with it.

Whoa. She's Chinese Jamaican. I'm Chinese Jamaican. Chinese Jamaican. I'm going to throw that out there. I'm going to throw that out there. 800-585-1051. We're asking, before I got married, I wish somebody told me what.

We're taking your calls when we come back. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning.