The Brilliant Idiots - Best Of 2022

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I love the premise of this show. Smart people talking about dumb shit. I think it's dumb people talking about smart shit. Oh, we go where we're not supposed to go, baby. Yep, I go by the name of Shalameen to God. Andrew Shulshund. We're not really here. I mean, we're never really here when you listen to the podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:18 We've already recorded it. But this is the best of the brilliant idiot, 2022. Great year. Great year, man. Amazing year. I'm out the country. Shult is out the country. And, you know, if anything that you hear in the best of 2020 isn't,
Starting point is 00:00:32 culturally appropriate anymore. If things have changed that much in 12 months, nothing we can do about it. Yeah, we're allowed one year of culture changing. No, you got to give us three years to catch up. Three years. I think you give everybody three years to catch up. Three year window. That's right. So if something is in this that wasn't culturally appropriate at the top of the year, not our fault, you know, y'all just move too fast. All right. Amen. See you. Peace. We tell you something, man. Everybody that came to Radio City Music Hall this past weekend, Yes. You all saw what a lot of people have been seeing
Starting point is 00:01:03 all over the country for the past few years. Y'all saw the reigning king of stand-up comedy. I'll argue with anybody. I'll debate anybody. I'll dispute anybody. Andrew Schultz. Your place is solidified right now. That was so cool.
Starting point is 00:01:24 What do you mean? What do you mean? Your place is solidified right now. You know, I love shit like this. I love shit like this. Because, you know, random conversations I'll be talking, right? And, you know, we'll drop references.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Well, you know, when you do music, you'll say Drake, you know, you'll say Kendrick, you know. When I do comedy, I'll be like, I'll say Chris Rock. I'll say Chappelle. I'll say Andrew Shokes. You know what I'm saying? Because you always want to, I'm from an era where you compliment the OGs. Of course. So you say Jay-Z, you know, Scarface.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And you'd be like, Kendrick. Whoever the new person is, right? I do the same thing. I say Andrew Shokes. I always see y'all. in the comments, his guy said Andrew Shokes. This guy said Andrew Shokes. And I think it's one thing when people see you all over the country doing it.
Starting point is 00:02:10 They're like, okay, that's cute, you know. But when you sell out a story venue, like Radio City Music Hall, that was crazy. It's something different, man. It's a different stamp. That was crazy. I'm looking at the comments on Instagram, people looking at the pictures. I'm seeing other comedians going, wow.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which translates to me like, I knew, but I didn't quite know. You know, I thought it was just Instagram. I thought it was just YouTube. You know what I mean? Two shows Radio City Music Hall. How do you feel? I mean, it was awesome.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Yeah, it felt amazing. I'm like still processing. I was texting you the other day. I'm just like, yeah, you know, your whole, it's like my whole life's work for that moment. Yeah. And I was coming up in that little elevator thing behind the stage. And I remember, like, it was just like what you see in a movie that. those montages, I understand now why they put those in movies.
Starting point is 00:03:03 When they come up? Yeah, you know, that's the first thing you said, you was like, hey, I need to try that at least. Yo, it's crazy, bro. Like, your whole life you're watching, you know. Like, every, literally, every show I did, every person I begged to come to a show on the street, like, every time I bombed, everything is just, like flashing in and out.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Like, you know, my parents telling me to go after it, you know, like people telling me not to, like, all these things are fucking happening, and then your head lifts over the stage. And then I guess for what I'm describing, I was able to come up under this contraption so you're below the stage. And my head lift to the stage and then you just look out.
Starting point is 00:03:37 You see these people like standing up going crazy and it's just all that goes away. And I've been like preparing what I was going to open with like the whole week. And I was like, I just want to make sure the opening goes well. And you guys weren't at the first show. But this is the first show.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I'm going up. And I'm like, okay, I got the opening. I just need to get that down. I need to be good. And I walk up and there's an Asian girl with a fucking like, a piece of paper that has something written on it. And she's holding it.
Starting point is 00:04:02 She said, roast me, it's my birthday. And so I could go with what I want to say. Or I could acknowledge, you know, this thing that's happening in the moment. And it was almost like, it was like some divine intervention ship because like these things that have happened in the moment have really helped propel my career. And like, it was like, I didn't even think about it. And I was like, look at the Chinese telling us what to do already. Oh, so fucking cool, man.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Yeah, it was so, I got a little emotional. It was cool. This is why I love Showt's comedy because I'm processing it like, all right, is this edgy because of the time that we're in? Right. Or is this edgy because it's edgy. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:41 And then here he goes with the goddamn Mexican joke that I'm not going to say. It was like, okay, boom, one hit, then one hit, one hit, and then you turn them over. And that's why I'm like, oh, holy shit. But Naila said it the best. Naila was like, everybody, was laughing.
Starting point is 00:05:01 And we were laughing with each other and not at each other. It takes a special kind of skill set to tell those kind of jokes. Yeah. And have everybody in the room laughing. I only saw one person walked out. And she was a lesbian.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Her girlfriend did not want to leave. Her girlfriend stayed for extra three, four minutes. And then I saw her look at her phone. She got that text. If you want your pussy eight later later that night, you better get the fuck up out of here. Right now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:32 But nah, man. Duval hit me this morning. He sent me a picture. He sent me a picture. He said, I cried when I saw this. Oh, he said, I'm still in my feelings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said you had to be there, man.
Starting point is 00:05:43 That shit was like, it's just unreal. Like, what, 12,000 people? Yeah, man. Two shows. Yeah, man. And fucking, if you ever thought Andrew was Illuminati, it was confirmed. Because Bill, fuck.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Gates. Yes, the Bill Gates that's buying all the farmland in America. The Bill Gates that y'all think may or may not have created coronavirus with the Chinese... You want to know some wild shit?
Starting point is 00:06:16 In the special that Alex and I did together, it was not views before. Views from the cyst. It was views from the sis. I have a joke where it was about like the whole Me Too movement. And I was like, I was like, listen, if a billionaire grab my dick, like, no, I was like,
Starting point is 00:06:34 if Bill Gates, no, it's something like, ladies, you're upset, you know, you're getting, I forget what the fucking joke is, but I said something about like billionaires groping me. And I was like, because I was like, Bill Gates grabbed my dick, I'd grab his wrist and hold it there, right? And I go, I'll show you Microsoft. So I have that joke that has existed and that millions of views. So he's in the audience. Yeah. And there's a little part of me like, I'm about to, he's here.
Starting point is 00:06:56 You came here to grab this dick, huh? You know what I'm saying? It's available to you. like stand-up. I did, because, you know, at first of all my mind, so I had to go do some research. I was looking it up all weekend. Yeah. They have a video online with Bill Gates watching a Chris Rock.
Starting point is 00:07:10 I don't know. So he got good taste. Yeah. It was something with Chris Rock going in on Bill Gates, and he was watching it and laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he enjoyed it. From what I was told, he laughed at some really offensive joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Funny is funny. Funny is funny. Funny is funny. Even when it's just, even when it may be a, and I don't. I don't even know if it's offensive. I don't think it's offensive. You know, sometimes I say it at the end of the show, but I don't like to be too overhand with stuff,
Starting point is 00:07:35 but like everybody that comes to our show comes because they want to be made fun of. Like if I don't make fun of a group afterwards, they'll come up. So we've created this environment amongst all this, like, political correctness and woe shit where people come to laugh at one another, and it's good.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Derek's got the hardest job, man, because going up while people are sitting down, like, what I do with my shows is like, I don't let, I basically hold the show a little bit. I don't want to tell people so that don't ever come late to the show, but I want the host to get a real opportunity to perform. A lot of times when you go to shows, you'll see
Starting point is 00:08:07 the hosts up there. Motherfuckers are still sitting down. The room is half full. You're basically an usher. But the show starts when you enter the venue for me, like, so I want you seated for the whole thing because I think all them are brilliant. See with Channing Crowder. My guy, suit to Chan and Crotter, the Pivot podcast, one of the best podcast out, him,
Starting point is 00:08:23 Ryan Clark and Fred Taylor. Let's listen to what he said, the Denzel Ward. But you are beautiful. What you mean? You got pretty eyes. You got good skin. Where you got the little highlights? Like, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:08:36 But you're a dog, man. I'm like, I watch you play. You a dog. But did you have to fight that? Like, when you walk out, you just look, you look so pleasant and nice, but then you got a chokovice to slagie.
Starting point is 00:08:47 You know what I'm saying? Like, do dudes try you when they see? It'll be like, oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. This dude got you. You had to fight that? I mean, you're the first dude that called me beautiful. Oh, you are beautiful.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Beautiful. Yeah. I don't know. Channning, they gave Channing a lot of flak for this. Why? I don't know. He's just complimenting his brother.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Not only did he compliment him. It was a great segue into what I think is a great question. Which is what essentially what he's saying is because you're such a pretty boy, do people take you serious on the football field? You know what I mean? Are they scared to you? Do they think you're soft? He got a helmet on.
Starting point is 00:09:26 You know what I mean? Nobody's really looking at him like that, you know? You don't think so? I don't know, maybe. How pretty do you think he is? I mean, you don't look that strikers on the TV, maybe in person. You know, some people you meet in person,
Starting point is 00:09:36 you're like, oh, you know what I mean? And by the way, Channing is an official person. You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing about Channing that is funny style in any way, shape, or forms. I don't even know why y'all trying to paint him with that, but he goes to the resorts, right? He goes to the naked resort.
Starting point is 00:09:50 So he likes seeing guys naked already. That's not true. I don't think that's the case. He's just at a naked resort. You know? I just think he's at a naked resort. Maybe he's so confident in his sexuality. He can look at a guy naked.
Starting point is 00:10:02 He can look at that guy and say he's attractive. That's what I don't understand. Like, if you like women, why do you have to go out of your way to prove you like women? If I tell a person, I tell men that they look good all the time, but I'm doing it more so from a health perspective. You know what I mean? This is stupid because what you be?
Starting point is 00:10:16 You know, yeah. I'd be like, yo, I'm like, damn, bro, you look good. Like, you know, like I said, Kevin Gates. I saw Kevin Gates a week ago when he came to breakfast club. I'm like, bro, you look good. You can tell he lost weight. Yeah. His skin is glowing.
Starting point is 00:10:26 His eyes look clear. Like he's giving off a dope in a glow. Like, you should compliment. I thought a take yesterday. Yeah. Like, bro, you look good, brother. You know what I'm saying? And you smell good.
Starting point is 00:10:35 But did you say he was beautiful, son? I ain't say beautiful. Beautiful is like. Beautiful is a word. It is. I ain't never met a beautiful man. Me personally. I'm not saying that they don't exist.
Starting point is 00:10:46 You never met a beautiful man? No, I never met a beautiful. Come on, yo. What? I think. I don't think Morris is beautiful. He looks like me. She pointed to me and said, Maris Chethethner.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Like, Maris Chesson is not beautiful. he looks like me. He's handsome. He's like a fine cognac. You know what I'm saying? That's beautiful? What's wrong with that? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There's no better compliment when an old woman says you handsome. I'm talking about an old woman. I'm talking about 70 years old, 80 years old, because they know handsome when they see it. You know what I mean? So when an older woman calls you handsome, who is calling you handsome? Oh, man. Every old woman I've ever known that 70 years or 80 years or eight years old, they always call me handsome, right? And what do you think that is?
Starting point is 00:11:28 You just got them. Me and handsome. Ripping? Huh? Nothing. What difference between what? Handsome, handsome, beautiful is more of a mixed drink. Taylor asked me what's the difference between handsome and beautiful.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Beautiful's more of a mixed drink. It's like a margarine. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's like a Shirley Temple is fun. You know what I mean? It's like being hot. Yeah. Handsome.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Handsome is that aged, fine conia. See, I think beautiful for women is handsome for men. Like if you look at a woman, you're like, wow, you're beautiful. That's like saying, oh, you are so handsome. Like if he said to him, he was like, yo, you are handsome, bro. I think sexy is age with women. And even though sexy might sound like, I guess sexy might sound like massaginette, he said, oh, man, she's sexy.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Women might think you're objectifying them, but no, I'm not. It's just a certain sex appeal that comes when you get older. Like Taylor can't even fucking walk. You know what I'm saying? But when she gets older, she'll know how to control that shit. She tried to sit down just not fucking almost, put a hole in the floor. That's not sexy. Sexy women know how to like, a sexy woman know how to walk in the room.
Starting point is 00:12:32 There's an elegant. Oh, that's the word. Elegance to it. They're graceful. Sit down. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:40 You know what I'm saying? That's so weird. Like I, I, sexy to me is like a young thing. I think it's hard for like an old woman to be sexy, but they can be beautiful. They can be elegant. But sexy is like, also there are girls that can be sexy, but they're not even that hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Like almost every Latin woman is sexy. Even if she's not hot, she'll just find a way to be sexy. I get what you saying. Because they're mannerisms and things they do the way they talk. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sexy is almost like a personality trait. Yeah, man, you can, if you don't know no better, you come to New York and lose your mind with them Latino.
Starting point is 00:13:15 You lose your minds. Them Latino women, bro. I've heard some shit in my name, bro. What did you hear? I've heard. I know what you like. Boy, let me tell you something. A Latino woman tell you that shit for everything.
Starting point is 00:13:27 about for everything. I know what you like. Whether it's food, whether it's I mean, just stupid shit. Like, h-h-h-ha- Really? Unbelievable. God-damn. God-down. God-down.
Starting point is 00:13:46 We need to, we need Latin America to colonize the world. Would anybody be upset about that? Like, is that the one culture that could just colonize everybody? We'd be like, no, this is kind of good. Like, this is awesome. We don't get, listen, by the way,
Starting point is 00:14:00 We don't give Latin America enough credit, bro. For everything. They're food, they're women. Fire. Like, the culture, period. Yeah, they're the best. They're the best. It's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:14:10 They're the best. I don't think they get enough credit, bro. Who's not giving them the credit? Who's the best? You think African women are the best? Better than Afro-Latinas? You get the African and you also get the Latina. Taylor don't even know what that is, bro.
Starting point is 00:14:29 You don't even know what that is. Bro. Come here, Taylor. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Come here. You just fee five full foam over to the sofa real quick. I didn't want to see if you got more control. Break the studio, please. More control. Okay. She's thinking about it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Okay. Still ran into the microphone. You had it. The ass got there, but then you couldn't control it. The back is lost. Yeah. Yeah. See, if you were a Latina, you can control that ass.
Starting point is 00:14:57 That's true. If you were Latino, you can control that ass. That's true. You're not Latino. With age, it'll get great. I'm going to tell what's going to happen with Taylor. She's going to get the gray edges. Yep.
Starting point is 00:15:05 They're going to get the gray edges. You know what I'm saying? Then she's going to really turn into Auntie. Yep. And then she'll not have control all that shit, man. At Monty, you have no control over it, Taylor. You're the hope. An incredible hope, yo.
Starting point is 00:15:16 When you got to learn how to form, you got to be smart Taylor, bro. When you bring that fucking brawn with the brains, you're going to be good. You know how, like, you know if you're right-handed and you, like, try to brush your teeth left-handed, it's all, like, awkward or weird. That's how you walk. You, fuck you. Fuck you. You know, first of all, no one's doing that anyway. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:15:36 You say if we brush our teeth with our left hand for right-handed? You don't do that? You never brush your teeth. I do that all the time. I use my left hand all the time just to stay amped fibia. Just say what? Amphidtribing. I do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I do it all the time. Listen, once it gets there, bro, just let it come out. You can correct yourself. Go. Don't need to tuck the amphibian. Let the shit fly. You are amphibian, though. You are an amphibian.
Starting point is 00:16:14 What do we burn tail over here for? I don't know. No, because you were trying to say that NBA players are even close to as handsome as NFL players. NFL players way better looking NBA players. I love NFL players. Same, though. So you think that it would be beautiful? He's been there a beautiful?
Starting point is 00:16:28 Him? Yeah. Yeah, he has a nice face. You know what it is what makes men beautiful, I guess, in a way? No. But he has a- Houses, he has a very- Trips to Italy.
Starting point is 00:16:39 He has a very nice, clean face. He don't have, like, a SUNY and nothing like that. What the fuck is a SUNY? I'm a big, uh, beer. Holy shit, Taylor. That's silly. That's silly for you. Like, yeah, that's what we call.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Oh, shit. Like the Muslims, like the Sunni and then the Shiites. Oh, wow. Is that a bad? No, they're just a, it's a sect of it. That's what we. He's saying Philly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:00 So. You got a SUNY. But, you know, that's hysterical. But, I mean, he has a nice clean face.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Yeah. So just cleanliness of the face makes a guy good looking. And then probably, you know, I would say he's handsome. I want to say he's beautiful. Who's the most beautiful?
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah. As a man. Yeah. Uh, Tyler Leffey. He's beautiful. Who is Tyler? Oh, Tyler Leffey,
Starting point is 00:17:25 my man. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's going to Pete Valley. Me and Tyler did a movie together the back in the day, movie called Ringside. That was a wild set. Yeah, yeah. That was a wild set because, like, our trailers were next to each other and it was just like,
Starting point is 00:17:36 mad, girls, outside of all our, both our trailers all the time. You know what I mean? It was insane. Man, you are a liar and you've always been a liar. What's the problem here, yo? Why? What is wrong with y'all? It was insane, you know?
Starting point is 00:17:52 It was insane. It was wild. Wow. Wow. I want to ask y'all about the calling, Doc, man, because I watched the call. George Carlin doctor this weekend on HBO Max. I did, first of all, I didn't know. Yeah, I always had people mention George Carlin. I wasn't in the George Carlin.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Fucking brilliant. I don't see anybody doing that now. Carlin? I don't see anybody know what Carl is doing, bro. Very specific thing what he's doing. His, the, the, I love the 90s specials. I know a lot of people didn't love him as much because they got real dark.
Starting point is 00:18:30 But I thought what he was tapping into there was like, I thought it was like right up there with Rock specials, which were some of the best of all time at that same exact time. Praise. But I remember it was like, you know, kind of at the same time, I wish people revisited as often as, you know, they talk about priors and Chappelle's and all that stuff. But it's right up there.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Rock is the closest to Carl. I think so too. You put Carlin over a rock? I mean, I relate to rock more because he's black. And it's, you know what I mean? Carl is white. But I say, I just think he's the closest to a Carlin. What do you say?
Starting point is 00:19:14 Yeah, we aren't out the basics. Yeah, we're not at the basis. Yeah. I put rock. I put rock. I'm always like, I put rock. I'm a who came first person. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:19:25 So I don't think there is a rock without a Carlin. It's like yesterday when Ryan Clark posted, you know, Chris Brown's more talented to my. Michael Jackson, how do you even come to that conclusion? And then everybody starts talking about, oh, because Chris does graffiti and he. I'm like, what's talking about music and dancing? We're not talking about anything out. We're talking about music and dancing.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Like Tank said he does graffiti and he draws. And I'm like, what are we talking about? I thought we talking about music and dancing. So to me, calling came for us. And, man, I'm telling you, after watching that doc, I was like, wow, have me think about something else, too, right? I don't know if, I don't know if a black comic can make the observation George Carlin makes.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Because he's got like a bird's-eye view of the world, and he's not in these groups that he might be discussing. He's able to just sit back and look at it. I don't think that's fair, though. I think, I think, I think, I think you got to think of it, like, Carlin was like a 70-year-old, a 70-year-old genius. I hate saying the word genius in comedy person, but he's actually that, you know what,
Starting point is 00:20:31 a genius 70, probably doing comedy, what, 55 years or something, whatever? Like, he's at a level where nobody's doing that. I definitely think when, when Chappelle's 70 or when if Patrice made it to 70 or, you know what I mean? It's true. When they get to 70, they may have that type of, that type of self-awareness and reflection, but,
Starting point is 00:20:54 and that wealth of knowledge. Oh, Dick Gregory. Oh, definitely, Dick Gregory. You know what I mean? 100%. Well, damn. I would love to see what Cosby's up to now. Really?
Starting point is 00:21:03 I'm sure Cosby's guy. He never was tapped in as far as socially, though. Like, so he's got a different perspective now. One thing you won't hear him say is what else, what else? He definitely got a lot to talk about right now. You think life showed him something? Oh, sure. But no, it's like, yo, Colin was so socially conscious and it's weird, right?
Starting point is 00:21:28 because I look at all the comedians out now. With all of this shit going on in the world, they're not talking about the stuff that Carla was talking about. People are using Carlin's old stuff that talk about what's going on now. Like what, for example? I mean, everything from everything political, like literally everything for political,
Starting point is 00:21:45 from abortion to voting, right, racism, all of that type of stuff. I think people address it in certain, like you do it in the TV show a lot. That's what I like. I don't know if I necessarily see it on stage from people. I think people express that differently through different mediums now. They might talk about it on podcast.
Starting point is 00:22:04 They might talk about it, you know, when they do their sketches, are they... You don't think Byrd does it? Um, yes, I do. Not to the level of Carlin, though, but yes, I think he does. That's what I'm saying? Like, that's the unfair company. It's like you talk about how that's true. A Michael Jordan of this shit.
Starting point is 00:22:22 You know what I'm saying? Like, he's on a very, very short list. There's a Mount Rushmore. Carlins's on it, but 99. percent of the comics that's ever, you know, picked up a mic. Did you watch Louis' last one? No, I haven't. I haven't either. And I'm surprised.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Like, maybe he touched in some of these things. Like, yeah, I think you're, you're talking about, like, very mature thought. And, like, someone who's, like, synthesized and digested life. And I never thought about that. I never thought about the age thing. You're right. No, it's, it's important. Like, if you talk to old heads that are wise, like, everything they say just sounds so profound.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Right. So it's like, and then you add the fact that this guy's been doing comedy that long and he's just been. and like grafting these like bits and ideas. Yeah, it also the way Carl, like, Carlin also kind of didn't need an audience the way he started performing. When he, when he started like kind of really,
Starting point is 00:23:07 really locking in the late 90s, his shit was damn there spoken word. It was so rhythmic and you could almost listen to it without any of the audience. You know what I'm saying? Like it was damn there was song. I remember even, you know, in those days, they would do these promos
Starting point is 00:23:22 where he would just go on these long rants and long runs from the special. And that was the promo for the show. specials and they were just as enjoyable. Like, he was, he was just kind of on a different, on a different way. I never thought about it. I never, I never factored in the age thing, so just, uh, yeah, just life. I just thought it was about what people cared about.
Starting point is 00:23:41 No, he was a Jeep. So y'all going to wait until what, 60? No. You're never going to even know when it happens. It'll probably be appreciated. Look, like, like you just said, you don't hear that much about Carlin until this documentary. Yeah. So sometimes people got to catch up to it.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It might be happening, you don't even know it. Or it might be happening and we don't know it. You know what I'm saying? Like, people catch up to it when it's ready. I think it's got to also reflect, like, what you care about, like, what's going on in your life. Yeah. Like, it's not your responsibility as a comedian to, like, reflect to the times. It's your responsibility to reflect on, like, what you care about.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yeah, that's like the rap. When they tell the rap was like, you don't have to rap about things of substance. Yeah, and those songs are the worst when they're like, hey, you got to put out a love song. And then you got this, like, rapper who's rapping about some love shit. And like, he don't even give a fuck about that. Right, you know what I mean? Like, I don't need to hear all that. I want to hear what you care about.
Starting point is 00:24:34 And the most authentic stuff usually cuts through. At least for me, that's the thing that I care about. Listen, I don't need it from everybody. You know what I'm saying? But, you know, if you do have that microphone and you have a certain stature, let's see what you can, let's see the wide range of things you can touch on. You know what I mean? Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Yeah, yeah. I agree with that. That's why it frustrates me to see when people don't go past that surface level. Yes. That, like, what do you call the excellence of? The upper limit theory. It is that where you're like. And you're in this, it's called the zone of excellence.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Sometimes being, sometimes killing at a level amongst your peers, you never want to risk going past that. And you never develop past that. So it is, but it's, it's ugly. There's a lot of ugly, ugly duckling years in that, in that process that you kind of got to, you know, go through. And you feel like as a good comedian, you've already done your part. You've already been not good and got good. So you're not going to take the risk to be considered not good again, even if it's growing.
Starting point is 00:25:46 I think that's part of the reason why, like, you know, people like Dave or, you know, rock, whatever, like, they go away. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Like take some time. Reflects. Like figure out how your life has changed. Word.
Starting point is 00:26:00 You know, like I know this sensation. Like, trust me, I felt it. Like, I just came off this crazy tour. And the sensation is like, well, keep this ball rolling. It's like, but that's not how you're going to create the show. No. That people need to feel. Like, I need to go away for maybe it's years, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Like, and I need to be in the clubs working, but like processing how I feel about the world. And then the crazy thing. about stand-up and you mentioned all these old dudes is like Carlin's stand-up at the end wasn't his stand-up in the beginning. Nowhere near it. And it took a process to even get. And his stand-it was fun in the beginning. Yeah, of course. But like, you also have to go through them new growing pains
Starting point is 00:26:36 when you change and start talking about different things you're going through because you might not have the tools to execute those jokes the way you had the tools to execute the jokes early on. Yeah, it comes a point where the performer actually catches up with demand. If that makes sense. Yeah. And, like, I don't know if Dave as a performer has caught up with Dave the man yet.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Because when you hear Dave talk, it's like... He's the best of talking out of life. Speaking of Spicey, I had a colonoscopy. Yeah, you called me about that. You woke up hard. Why is that? You think, can I read the text that you sent me? That's the weirdest thing I ever got in my life.
Starting point is 00:27:13 I was glad I was out the country. I almost didn't come back. I almost didn't come back when you sent me that text message. What was the text? Yeah, you must have been higher. This shit, bro. And the stage ain't wear off until like later that night. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:27:29 Saturday, 1149 a.m. I don't need texts like this before noon on a Saturday. I just had a colonoscopy, period. Like literally just got out. It's criminal that a man can give you something. Within 10 seconds, you're knocked out. And then he's in your butt. Not to mention, I woke up with a crazy hard dick.
Starting point is 00:27:51 This shit not right. seemed very right seemed exactly than what you wanted to be honest with you listen the hardest thing about a colonoscopy what made you text me that I do not know bro like I'm really trying to understand
Starting point is 00:28:07 what made you message me like why'd you wake up with a hard dick after a dude was in your ass and then you go I got to tell Shultz this one this is crazy I'm trying to figure out who else I sent that shit to because in my mind
Starting point is 00:28:20 I only told my wife that shit yo yeah spell of mistakes and everything I knew you was feeling good. You was still shaking after that one. No punctuation, nothing. You just need to get that shit out. They told me, when I went to go get my colonoscopy consultation, they told me to come back when I'm 45, right?
Starting point is 00:28:38 But I have a history of it in my family. So we didn't have a history of it in my family. It was like, all, you can get the colonoscopy. I went to go get the colonoscopy. First of all, everybody should go get the colonoscopy when you get around that age. But the hardest part about it is the prep the day before. No.
Starting point is 00:28:52 The hardest part about it was, The prep the day before because you got to take these pills. Oh, yeah, you got to flush your old system. Yeah. Like, you know, you can't even leave the house. Like, you got to be by that toilet. Let me continue this conversation. I go, I said more.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I wake up hard. You go, bro, I have no idea. I go, did you ask? You said, no, I was kind of out of it and couldn't believe the anesthesia worked so well. Doctor was like, in 10 seconds, you'll be out. And when you wake up, it will be over. And I woke up and I was like, Doc, we just getting started. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Are you sure you didn't say that? You think I made up that flash part? You know, I'm not going to lie. Oh, that shit is wild. You ever had the anesthesia that they put in your... I never had anesthesia before. Have you ever had anesthesia? No.
Starting point is 00:29:41 What was the anesthesia? Blue true? Bro. Is that what they gave you? I don't know. But whatever that shit was, the doctor goes, you ready? In 10 seconds, you're going to be...
Starting point is 00:29:49 In my mind, the laugh... I'm like, yeah, right. I don't... You had it before, Chris? I don't remember, I mean, blacked out. And when you wake up, somebody got to wake you up. And I'm like, the fuck just happened, yo. And then you wake up, all they tell you is turn over on your left side.
Starting point is 00:30:04 So you turn over on your left side and you wake up on your left side. Ass tooted in the air. And then when I rolled over, I rode over, I got the big stiffy. I'm like, what the fuck? You weren't concerned at all? The doctor was sucking you off. That could have happened. You know what?
Starting point is 00:30:27 You'll never know. You'll never know. I just know that's what I, when I rolled over, one of my first thoughts was when I do like this on my chin. Yeah, that's what he said. When I rolled over on my back, I'm like, why do I got the big stiffy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:40 This is the stiffy, well, where did the stiffy come from? Nah, they didn't hit nothing. They sucked on it. There's no way you don't know if they sucked on it. You need video, bro. You need video. That's what I want. No, all jokes aside, anytime you do a colonoscopy,
Starting point is 00:30:53 they should let us watch the video afterwards. Yeah, especially if you wake up bricked. I just want to see what went on. Yeah, me too. Me too. The anesthesia wears off later, so you don't feel any sort of it's in your butthole until way later in the day.
Starting point is 00:31:11 The shit is wild, bro. Man, how'd it feel later? What you mean, the butthole? Yeah. Very tender. Like, tender to, like, the point where, like, it felt like you was doing kegles. And when you would do kegles, it would hurt.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So the thing is trying to keep your butt from doing like the dis... From the squeezing. Yeah. What do you mean to squeezing? You know, when you squeeze it.
Starting point is 00:31:31 The kegill, yeah, the kegle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a little off, bro. Taylor said, that's your G-spot. That ain't your goddamn g-spot. We do not have a G-spot on our ass. That is gay propaganda. No, it is.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Oh, my God. I hate when I hear this bullshit excuse. Why do you think? Clearly the game community. I thought American pie started that. Say what? I thought American pie started that when Stifflin was getting some procedures. Seminal fluid comes out, the actual fluid, but no actual semen comes out.
Starting point is 00:32:02 What do you mean? You can nut from your butthole? Not nut. It's not nut. It just stimulates you. It doesn't simulate you. It just there's a liquid that doesn't come out, but there's no actual commentant. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:32:11 I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying that you have a spot there that turns your own. Oh, do we? You're telling a man about his body? Okay. Don't you tell me about my body. How about this? How about this?
Starting point is 00:32:23 How about this? How about this? You don't have a G-spot? The G-spot. The G-spot, though, Taylor. You're talking about inside, too. No, there's no G-spot in there. I do believe that if there was really a G-spot in our buttholes, it'd be more a conversation
Starting point is 00:32:36 about it. It's really not a conversation about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is it like when you take a shit, you start nutting? Like, if we had a G-spot in our asshole, when we were shit, we would nutting. A shit is coming down. Someone's pushing up.
Starting point is 00:32:49 But you don't think the shit would tickle it a little bit. bit on the way that. Yeah, it's going to push against it. That's the same thing I'm asking about, like... What do you mean? Like, when you go in like a horseback ride, like, that shit hits your clip, it feels good or a roller coaster. It's a great point. It's a great point. Yeah. We don't have that. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Why do you think women need to ride side saddle? And why would our creator make us so hard to reach? Nuts all over a horseback. You don't know that? Why do you... That's why women have to ride side saddle. Because these horny sluts were comfortable. all over these stallions. It was crazy. No, that's true.
Starting point is 00:33:25 They started using it as conditional for the main. That's facts. That's facts. No, for real. People wonder why a horse's the main looks the way it does. That's what it was. Back in the day, instead of, like, wiping it off, it was just, like, brush it through the main.
Starting point is 00:33:36 You didn't know that's true. These are true facts that we made up. If your G-spot was in your butt, why would your creator make it so hard to find? You know what I'm saying? There's no G-spot in the butt. Like, this is, listen, if I was gay, dude, I would say the same shit to straight.
Starting point is 00:33:50 guys. You know, you're not, you're worried up. You know what I mean? Yeah, your G-spots really in your butt. What you're doing? You see American buy, right? Yeah. You see how Stifla got turned on? Exactly. But gay people, like, they clearly enjoy it. Taylor, stop trying to tell us about our
Starting point is 00:34:06 bodies. It's the only hole they can fuck. You know what I mean? Whether they enjoy it or not, that's what's there. You got to work with what you're given. Salute to the LGBTQ community. I don't want to talk about them this week because they said that we'd be appropriating gay culture. You know what I mean? What you mean? I don't want to,
Starting point is 00:34:22 I don't want them to feel like I would appropriate and get well, how are we appropriating gay culture? Because remember we had the conversation last week about, you know, whether I'm a bottom or our top. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I was saying how I got power top energy. So I was on a, not that's neighborhood talk.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Forget neighborhood talk. Go to the, go to the great Instagram of gay. Gay Instagram, gay magazine. I love this Instagram, by the way. Whenever I get posted on here, this, this Instagram. I don't know if you listen to the start of this podcast. You're going to write back up to the gay magazine post. No.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Your colonoscopy? Bro, this right here is the funniest Instagram, bro. At least when they pose, like, yo, they are so mad about, well, no, not all of them are mad. Let me take that back because they're actually having a great discussion about straight men like us who are comfortable having these kind of conversations. But then there are other people saying that we're appropriating gay culture and they need heterosexual men to stop appropriating gay. coach. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Yeah. Uh, okay. I really, I'm losing my eyesight. Read it, Taylor, because I can't read it. I fuck with Charlemagne. I like how he takes questions that would have most dudes heated and just roll with them. Charlemagne goes again, LASIC surgery, fix his eyes, wakes up, dick rock. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:47 You're like, yo, I won't come from surgery and get my dick hard as hell. No, where'd you go get LASIC? I went to the colonoscopy guy. He said he could do it. I would love any doctor to tell me why that is, though. I don't want to Google this information. I tried Googling it, but I'm like, I don't even know at the beginning of it. Why is what is?
Starting point is 00:36:07 I googled like, why you wake up with the stiffy. There ain't no, you. You wake up with his stif. But I want if there's a regular thing. I want to know why this happened. No, bro. No, no, no, no. That doctor was sucking me off.
Starting point is 00:36:20 You were getting sucked on, bro. Oh, scroll down to more. Come on, Taylor. Just scroll down. Yo, let me tell you, LGBQ community, let me tell you something. We are gay. Man, shut up. We are gay on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:36:39 The one guy said, my people can't make up their mind. If he would have gotten angry saying, I'm straight, don't come with, don't come. come with me with that gay shit. We would be up in arms talking about his homophobia. Being able to have some type of education on the community is a great thing, in my opinion. He's able to laugh and have fun with the interview. Yeah, I agree. Scroll now.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Oh, right there, right to right to this one. This guy, he said, we are losing our culture to the pseudo-straight man. You know, sex isn't your culture. Do you know what I mean? I think being gay is a culture. No, no, sex. We're talking about the sex, the act of sex. The act of sex is in culture.
Starting point is 00:37:23 That's not unique. I agree. But I think what he means... Culture is like the language, the dance, the connectivity. We're using their language. Yeah, but we're gay. You don't tell me I'm not gay. I come in here once a week.
Starting point is 00:37:39 I'm gay. I'm gay from Tuesday, 10 a.m. to about 12 noon on Tuesday, Your boy is gay. Big gay. Big gay. Big gay. Big gay.
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Starting point is 00:39:01 subscriptions and manage my expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash idiots, all right? That's what I want you to do as well. All right, go to rocketmoney.com slash idiots. That's rocket money.com slash idiots. Let's get back to the best of the brilliant idiots, 2022. This is wild. You gotta hear this. This is wild. There's a wild statement for anybody to make. All right, let's see this.
Starting point is 00:39:25 The wild and out head honcho was wild. 80% of women that probably need assistance when it comes to female hygiene. You got a high-in- There's this magnificent. 20% that have no smell and it's fresh. I think I'm part of the 2% because I definitely agree with it. 20.
Starting point is 00:39:45 I'm narrowing it down. But even because I'm at the top of it. Those are the keepers. Those are the keepers. Those are like, yo, fresh out, like, she was in the shower. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:39:55 If I stick, if I could swirl around, it's not normal. It's going to be a nice taste and everything. That's amazing, but that's not normal. All these girls aren't like they pussy don't stink sometimes. Come on, you know.
Starting point is 00:40:09 You want me to eat this? You know, and make, you know, present company excluded. men, we talk about this all the time. Do y'all know when y'all stinking up the room? I don't have to look at them. We'll see, I said present.
Starting point is 00:40:25 I already know that. He don't got the heart to tell one of those things. But that's the thing because I have to tell people think of that. You never spelled bad. You're not. You're you. You got teams and stylists. This guy I know probably tell me he was wild about that state.
Starting point is 00:40:45 before I say what I think is wild about that statement. Wait, what's wild about 80% of women need help with feminine hygiene? Um, I don't know. Maybe, maybe he's right. He would know.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You think he's fucked 80% of women? Yeah. Okay, you might have a point. I think he's, he's gone through a nice sample size. He's come through that. And you could use that as like,
Starting point is 00:41:09 you know, how they decide if the state, who wins the state based on like, you know, testing a thousand people. Yeah. I think, I don't know. I think, yeah, I think he might know something here.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Now, I will say this. You know, you- You never smelled like a gross box? Yeah, I have. But, I mean, it's supposed to smell like something. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:30 But have I smelled one that smells sour? Yes. You know what I mean? Those are just rough, huh? Huh? Those are rough when they smell like that, right? You don't. You know, my dad gave me a lot of bad advice when I was,
Starting point is 00:41:46 younger, man. My daddy said, if it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish, eat all you wish. No, he didn't say that. Now did I get all? Not, not, not, not, I'm, I'm 45 and I need to call my dad and ask him what that meant. Because now, when I think about it, now, I'm like, well, damn, how long have trans women been around? Where? Why? If it smells like cologne? Oh, shit. I don't know what he was saying. I thought he was saying one thing. Maybe he meant something else. You know what I mean? Because back then, I just thought, I was young, so like when you hear cologne, perfume, you just think it's all one fragrance. But now that I'm old, I'm like, what the fuck did that mean?
Starting point is 00:42:23 What do you mean by that? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So, I want to ask it. Bro. What? If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish, eat all you wish.
Starting point is 00:42:39 That's what my dad used to always say. Men wear cologne is what he's saying. Yeah. Okay. Older, like older men around me would always be like, it's supposed to have some type of smell. So, I mean, it's not stink, but, yeah. Oh, and by the way, do we ever smell all balls? I mean, my shit stinks, bro.
Starting point is 00:42:56 After a hard day. Yeah. Like, you take them drawers off. You're like, oh, shit. That camera on lyric, bro. What? Because she licked my balls right after I play ball. I play ball. No, watch them, no nothing.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Here what I say, y'all. Okay, y'all. Act like St.J, y'all. I turn the baddest bitch is gay, y'all. You know, Cam is the fucking man, son. Cammas the illness. That's just a wild statement to make, like, all of us don't have odors at some point in time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Because I think he even made the statement, like, you know, you don't even have to do it. It's like fresh out the shower or whatever. So it's like everybody, who doesn't watch before they have sex? You don't watch me that sex. You're not just diving in? Yeah. You know what I mean? Unless it's like...
Starting point is 00:43:38 Well, sometimes you dive in. You come right from the club. You're not taking a shower. That's different. Yeah. You both smell like the club. You smell like the club. You both smell like the club or you both smell like you've been outside.
Starting point is 00:43:46 That's different, and you both smell. probably intoxicated. You're not even thinking about it. Not even thinking about it. Yeah. Boom. And most women have the way with all to,
Starting point is 00:43:54 no, go give it a little. Oh, spritz it up. A spritz. A little spritz it up. Yeah. A little sprits her. You know what I mean? Okay, so why are these girls
Starting point is 00:44:03 that are hooking up with Nick Cannon feeling like they don't have to clean their vaginas first? How do we know Nick not throwing pH balances off? Oh, all the women he's sleeping. Oh, shit. So Nick is bad for pussy. I'm just saying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Wilden Wow Yo that would be a funny ass signal for Nick If Nick want to tell women When they got a stink vagina While in Wilding! As soon as their pants come off
Starting point is 00:44:29 She know what time it is They're going to have so many jokes on Nick This next season with these kids At the family reunion Ain't no room in this bitch Because all of his kids Hey Haley, you ever had a guy to take that?
Starting point is 00:44:49 Have you ever had a guy say that your crotch smelled like a garbage bag? That that box was thinking. That that poohm-pum was punging. Never? I told you. Boom, boom. What happened? You know, he's no garbage pussy.
Starting point is 00:45:04 I told you all before, though. Like, I had to spit myself like, oh, shit, it was not the time to be it. What? You smelled yourself? What did you smell like? Humming, coming at you. What happened? Some 80s rap come out of that shit.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Hoop, hit it. Hit me, hip hop for your dog style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there, there,
Starting point is 00:45:26 there, that you pull your panties off to the 80s, right? Yo, pull your panties off and somebody start rapping in the 80s,
Starting point is 00:45:37 brus. You all have mercy. Crazy. I'm trying to think of more 80s songs. It's been a long time. I should have to You let you. Without a douche bag to snap to him.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Without watch, right. There was one car. I like when comics that are, I like when hacks bomb. I like when comics that think they're shit with a hacky shit bomb. This dude did it on my show. I let him on my show.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Let him do a couple minutes. He rocked. He rocked his little, it was hacky as fucky as fuck. He did all right. He did cool. First, then he was real confident. Can I get on the show again? You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:46:15 and we was like, yeah, cool. You go, and he was like, man, I don't know if certain cast can, I don't know if my fucking can follow me. I was like, oh. He said that? I was like, he just came out of the blue and said that about one comic, another comic was going to go on. He goes, you sure you want to go after me?
Starting point is 00:46:31 Whoa. He went up and ate his dick and we enjoyed it. And he was, and you know when you do well? Yo, yo, you know when you, you know when you, you do well, you stay, you hang around the club? He was out. Oh, he was like, I got, I got, I. I got another gig.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Why don't you go wash out your dry mouth, your jackass, go fuck out of here. Here's some water for that dry mouth. He's like, I gotta go on. I was like, yeah, here's some water for that fucking cotton mouth. Your bomb, beat it. Yeah. Yeah, I enjoy that when I see hacks.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Yeah, because I'm going to be real honest. Mediocrity is the fucking mode of the day. It's like, it's just too much mediocrity and comedy to me. I think it's a lot of it. A lot of it. A lot of TED talks going on. A lot of fucking TED talks. I rather, just start a podcast if you want to do a real TED Talk.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Yeah, do a real. Just put TEDx thing. It's great. Put TEDx. It's fun. If you wanted a comedy club, I didn't want it. That's great. Put a TEDx thing and we won't expect no punchlines.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Cool. Yeah. But don't fucking come to a comedy club and you're just fucking talking. And where's the fucking punchline? You're going to tell me we did it wrong? You remember tell me Carlin did it wrong? Codney did it wrong? Prior did it wrong.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Joe Rivers did it wrong. All these Bernie Mac didn't wrong. No, they did not. I think a lot of people are watching Chappelle's last 30 minutes of his show. So they'll watch him. You'll go to Chappelle's show and you'll see the show. And you back, I want to recreate. That's the point of doing the show is over.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Chappelle will stick around. Oh, yeah. And do 30 minutes, 40 minutes and just talking. Two hours. I think people are watching now. I know the show is over, but it's still. I want to bring my friends. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:48:10 On stage. Oh, when you saw what he did there? I want my friends to sing. songs we got John Mayer. He's going to think about it. Then we got some other people. Oh shit. Got another pet.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Talib Kuali's coming. And we got some other people. We got a whole bunch. We're going to have a whole concert. And after the concert, I'll do another hour because I can't leave. It would just be me talking. I heard from Nome at the comedy song. He gave you a great compliment.
Starting point is 00:48:37 He goes, you know, Darrell Hammond, S&L. Oh, yeah. He goes, Darrell Hammond would work his impressions. for like weeks to try to get them down. He'd work them, but he'd go up at the cellar, he'd work them out, he'd be tweaking things, trying to do. Godfrey would hear somebody once
Starting point is 00:48:53 and do a better impression than Daryl. That's a gift, man. Like, if you didn't even work in it, it feels like. And I got rejected by SNL three times. Says a lot about this. What about you? My first auditioned at SNL. Yeah, why did you never get SNL, man?
Starting point is 00:49:12 I'm trying to understand. What's funny is Daryl Hammond ended up telling me why. Ooh. You're saying I, what was the reason? Well, when I first did it, it was me, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Jane. There was a bunch of Jimmy Fallon. Tell it. Tell it. There's talent.
Starting point is 00:49:26 And we're at the comic strip. And they was like, you need four characters and four impersonations. Yep. So I did some characters and shit. I did impersonations. Then I added an extra impersonation just the top that bitch. I did Johnny Carson because I'm a black dude doing Carson. And I was like, wow, did not know that.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Good snuff. I had a standing ovation my first audition. I'm coming from Chicago. I grew up watching Eddie Murphy. I'm thinking, I might get this shit. I got a standing ovation, bro. Didn't even make it to the second round. What happened?
Starting point is 00:50:01 They ended up picking Tracy. I didn't make it to the second round. And everybody's like, so they weren't going for impressions, son. No, no. They told me what I needed to do. They gave you the instruction. Yeah, but that's the same for everything.
Starting point is 00:50:12 maybe it was a casting thing because Tracy they're going for character, right? Tracy's always playing Tracy. Right. But I just don't understand even after that. But then I was the one new black at a time. Yeah. What is this rule you speak up?
Starting point is 00:50:27 What is it going on over here? What is the past hundred years? What is all of this? You'll take what we give you. It's an issue ain't my baby. Baby, baby. Okay, second time. Please don't let me down.
Starting point is 00:50:42 You know the wildest thing is a glizzy, bro. Why didn't they call hot dogs glizzy, bro? I don't know where that started, yo. Me neither. When I was a kid, we didn't call them glitters. Hell no. That shit sounds disgusting. Like, glizzy gobbler?
Starting point is 00:50:55 Like, that shit is brash should be a slur, bro. Like, you should be able to just to be out here telling people they're putting glizzies in their mouth, bro. That's wild. Y'all don't think that's wild? It is wild. It is wild. I don't know when it started. It's like Snoop saying gay.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Like back in the day like gizzle. Like you know what I'm saying? Gizzle was gay? No, but that's how Snoop would have said it back in the day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You glizzle? You glizzle, you glizzle my nizzle? You glizzle.
Starting point is 00:51:24 I can't even start. But dude, a glizzy gobbler is crazy. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. You're a different kind of glizzy. If you, you're a glizzy gobler? Like, why? You can't even eat a hot dog in peace without somebody saying,
Starting point is 00:51:40 what you're doing, putting that glizzy in you? There's a video. It looks like they were feeding glissies to this special needs dude in Coney Island. Did you see the side talk video when they were out in Coney Island? Bro, in my hand had bun in each hand. And they just feeding him a glissie at this. That's wild. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:51:59 I seen the video where the dude had the hot dog and like the hot dog was so long. It was hanging out the bun. Yeah. And he goes, and right before he bites and you hear somebody go, hey, yo. And he stops. and he gets so fucking mad you might as well
Starting point is 00:52:16 just called him a slur because he got so mad he was like yo you're going to put that whole glizzy in your mouth dude was like all the fuck
Starting point is 00:52:23 I can't just eat a glissian beef one is dude sneaks up on his boy who's about to eat it and he just goes hey yo and dude just goes
Starting point is 00:52:32 fucking throat oh hey yo you spit got the guizzy who got the glizzy
Starting point is 00:52:41 You glitzy got one? He just, he chucks that shit, buddy. Glizzy is wild. For nobody in New York to be pausing that. Jesus. No, that's a super pause. How would you eat the hook? I just want to know how your week was, man.
Starting point is 00:53:03 No hot dogs. I didn't take any hot dogs down. No, my meat, my meat. My meat was good. My meat was good. Had a good meat. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Yeah, y'all are crazy, bro. Y'all are fucking crazy. Where the glizzy gobbler's at, bro. What a glizzy gobbler is that, bro. The semen demon. You know, this girl called herself a semen demon, bro. You didn't see that? No.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Man, this girl was crazy, bro. But she liked to drink semen? I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's what glizzy goblin sounds like. Yeah. Glizzy goblin sounds like somebody who likes to drink semen, bro. That's the girl who slurped up the suns, the Phoenix Suns.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Do you remember that girl? No. She kind of went viral for that shit. But she called herself the semen demon. How does somebody find out you sucked off a whole team? I think she said it. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:05 No, but she said it. She was like, yeah. But what if she didn't really suck off the whole team? What if she sucked off like four or five of them? But then it's a whole. bitch. That's like, we didn't get nothing to know head. And now they're getting in trouble at home. I thought you said, bitch. A whole
Starting point is 00:54:19 bench. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the fact is bad. That's the thing, though, but I think that this generation doesn't understand your hip-hop pedigree. You know what I mean? Like, they think you're somebody who just started doing you know, Vlad TV and that's where it started for
Starting point is 00:54:37 you in this. You know what I mean? But I didn't even know about the breakdancing thing, but I remember back in like the early 2000s, some of my first national looks as a personality was on those beef. The beef DVDs you were doing. The mixtapes, essentially. Yeah, I put you and Buffy the Body arguing with each other on the radio on one of the beef DVDs.
Starting point is 00:54:58 And I remember we talked on the phone around that time. Because that was big. Like, you know, you had to think that was before the internet. So, you know, you might have had like all hip hop. You might have had like S-O-H-H. So DVDs were everything. The mixtapes were everything. So to get a prominent look on a national mixtape like that was like huge.
Starting point is 00:55:18 You know, and that's when I first started hearing about Vlad TV. Then I, you know, DJ Vlad at the time. Then I started paying attention and it was like, you know, you did the documentaries on Oakland about MacDrey, who I never even, I never even know about MacDrey. Those Ride the Whip, yeah, the hypefee, the Hive movement documentary, the day of the American gangster on MacDray, the Rompeland gang. Yep. Yep. So, I mean, it's stuff like that that I feel like if people knew they would.
Starting point is 00:55:42 didn't criticize you so harsh. Well, and I've always like, and you could talk to anyone about this in our space. Like I've always seen up-and-coming talent and I've always embraced them. You know what I mean? Like I said, like when I heard you, I'm like, oh, Charlemagne's dope.
Starting point is 00:55:57 I never heard about him before, but I'm going to put him on this mixtape. Adam 22, academics, Sean Cotton, you know, from Sage's TV. Like all these guys, I reached out to him early, put them on my platform and was like, you know what I mean? Because when I was coming up,
Starting point is 00:56:10 I just got hated on. Like, you know what I mean? Source wasn't fucking with me. double-xel wasn't fucking me hot 97 you know like none of the radio stations or anything we're trying to really you know what what do you mean when you first started doing the mix tapes well just period you know whether mixtapes or when i started doing vlad tv started to become a real entity i reached out like i had meetings of double xl and stuff like that that went fucking nowhere you know what i'm saying yeah they didn't believe in it they didn't believe in it and they didn't
Starting point is 00:56:34 even want to like really associate with you know and they were like i was like you guys are really kind of behind the ball here like this print shit is really going away they're like oh no we we We don't need your help. We don't overdo it. Yeah, that's wild that when you think about all of those institutions, none of them evolved into the digital age. Yeah, the sources, a rap. Ozone magazine, rap.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Ozone was the one that bothers me the most because, you know, I used to write for ozone with the chin check. Duval used to do something in ozone. I forgot what Duval's segment was called, but they had their fit, smooth to Julia Beverly, she had her fingers on the pulse of everything that was coming out of the South. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:11 So they could have been the first world star, the first Vlad TV, everything. Yep. Yep. Never transitioned. Why do you think that is? And how did you have the way we thought to know this where the game was going? I think that, you know, like before, you know, before Vlad TV and the whole DJ career, I went to school at UC Berkeley. I was a computer science major.
Starting point is 00:57:33 And I worked at, like, Intel. I didn't know you went to Berkeley. Yeah. You're a smart one. Yeah. You could be a spy. Yeah. You could be a spy.
Starting point is 00:57:41 You know they always say the feds? He might not be the feds. He might be working for Putin, bro. I mean, if I was working for Putin, I would put out an article in variety saying he's an asshole. You know what I mean? This guy could be a spy, bro. A Russian spy.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I'm a Russian spy. That's a new one. I haven't heard that one. Yeah. That's way better. That's way better. That's better than the fed. Yeah, feds.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Everybody's the fed, right? This is, you know, working for Putin, bro. This is good. We got to the Trump conspiracy also. You got the P-Takes, Doug. You need to get Trump on Vlad. That would be fucking fired. Hell, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:22 We'll see. You think you got it? He got to get Trump on. I think Trump would do Vladt TV. Yeah. Because he's all about the numbers. Yeah. He's all about the numbers.
Starting point is 00:58:32 But to answer your question, like, I was a computer programmer for a little bit. And, I mean, but I studied in school. Like, I majored in. So it was like, I approached Vlad TV. as much of a technology company as I did a content company. So the back end of, you know, I spent millions of dollars over the years, you know, me and my programmer were building this whole back end of how can we really function and put out a large amount of daily content with a small staff.
Starting point is 00:58:59 And that was where the technology in the back end, like me, right now, we put out 10 new clips a day plus two flashbacks and all in full interviews on certain days. Every day? Every day. Damn. 365 days a year. holidays, weekends, birthdays, you know, whatever else. And to create that amount of content requires a system that could facilitate that
Starting point is 00:59:21 and where people aren't stepping on each other's toes and uploading the wrong thing and everything else like that. So approaching it like a dot com you could say, along with the content company, allowed us to sort of grow in ways that I think other similar companies could not. What was your childhood like? A childhood like Well, you gotta understand First I was in Massachusetts
Starting point is 00:59:46 Springfield, Massachusetts I was a little kid And we were around kind of a Russian community And everything else like that My relatives were around and so forth My parents went and moved To San Mateo, California
Starting point is 00:59:59 Right? They bought a house Their first house And they, you know This is where they settled I was down the street From my, you know, elementary school But now I'm
Starting point is 01:00:08 this kid named Vlad in the 80s with no Russian kids anywhere, no Russian families, no Russian anything. This is like the whole school. And this is in the middle of the Cold War. You're the bad guy in every movie. I'm the bad guy in every movie. And I'm like...
Starting point is 01:00:23 Right. Like every movie in the 80s. It was a guy named... Red Dawn. Every movie. Yeah. War games, like whatever else. So it's like...
Starting point is 01:00:31 What did? You did? Yeah. Took too long. Yeah. It took too long to answer that one. Yeah. Took too long to answer.
Starting point is 01:00:40 This guy's a fucking spy, dude. I don't remember. This guy's a fucking spy, dude. You know who you were rude. Chairman Drago killed Apollo Creed? Yeah, that was fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Did you turn the movie off then? Were you like, that's the end? The comedy skills have improved, I got to say. He's much sharper. They much sharper than I remember. Thank you, Vlad. The comedy aficionado. What's your position on?
Starting point is 01:01:08 porn. Like, do you think porn should be illegal? I like a missionary. What? He said, what's my position on porn? I like missionary. And doggy stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I like porn, man. Like, do you think it should be regulated at all? Do you think there should be any rules? Like, there's a lot of porn that just up there. Honestly, I don't know because I don't know why our parents kept it from us when we were young. I remember getting caught with a penthouse of something.
Starting point is 01:01:46 I had a trap of keeper. And I just had like the pages in my trapper keeper. And my mom caught me. And I remember my dad saying like, yo, you want, I remember overhearing him in the kitchen because we grew up in a single wide mobile home. So my room was right by the kitchen. And I'm hearing my dad say, so you want me to punish him because he's looking at goddamn playboy. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:04 He came in the room and he was like, yo, look, man. decide this shit from your mama better next time. I told you put that away, you know what I mean? I'm trying to see female better next time. So it's like, I don't know why they hit it from us. Yeah. We're going to see naked women at some point in our life. Women are going to see naked men at some point in their life.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Like, you know, I think once you, once your child is old enough to understand sex and you tell them about the birds and the bees, what's the problem with porn? I'm not going to sit around and watch one with my kid. Okay, okay. What about this? Like, porn, if somebody was going to make this devil's advocate, that are, porn, generally speaking, is displaying sex in a way that the man would like because men are the biggest consumers of porn.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Okay. And maybe that changes as more and more women watch porn. But does it warp a young person's idea of how to fuck if the content is being created for the ideal way that a guy wants to fuck? So some 12 year old, or like me, when I was younger, I'm watching like, oh, wow, that's, how you have sex with a girl.
Starting point is 01:03:07 You do it in that crazy way. It doesn't really seem like they're caring if the girl enjoys it or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that make sense? It makes perfect sense. So now you've got these kids that are going and hooking up with these girls.
Starting point is 01:03:15 They're like 14, 15, 15, 16 years old, right? And they're like, with really no concept of, this is how a woman would be pleased because the porn is shot in a way to just please the dude. Yeah. The biggest complex. Am I making sense? I get it totally.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Actually, it's so funny, I had a, I had a, yes, I've heard that before. I know people who feel like they had a significant others who had porn addictions and that was one of the things. Like, you know, they, they, they, they, and it, and it gives the woman a complex that it makes them feel like I can never be that. Yeah. I can't get to that. And also, like, even doing that might not be what you enjoy. But now you're doing this thing because you're like, oh, that's what guys like.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah. So the girl's like, oh, I'm going to just let you fucking throat me or whatever like that or like face fucking. It's like, the dude's like, that doesn't really feel that great. It's kind of like rubbing against your teeth and shit like that. And the girl's like, well, this doesn't feel that good because I'm just like a punching bag for your dick. That's how I felt about dicks. Watching dicks and pornoes all those years? What?
Starting point is 01:04:15 Unc circumcised? No, I was just like, I'm like, that's not real. Nobody's dick is that big. Oh, yeah. So even if I could do those crazy moves, I don't have the dick. Well, dude, what should they do what they do in sports? What? Draft dick.
Starting point is 01:04:29 No, like, you know, if some guys are, you know, looking like they're using performance in or something like that. Yes. Punish them. Yeah, yeah, kick them out the, kick them out the late. I mean,
Starting point is 01:04:39 that's the thing with porn. You want to see that. Like, that's the thing about porn. You don't want to see average. I want to see a guy disappointed or the girl every once in a while. I want to see a more relate. I want to see a guy like,
Starting point is 01:04:48 can we have one porn where the guy's like, I'm just not in the mood, babe. Yeah. Where's the premature ejaculation form? I'm sorry. Like, yo. Wait a 30 second.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Yo, look that up on porn hub, Tim. Why don't you keep putting you put porn on my computer? Don't act like you don't watch porn. That's the thing with women. Mad women watch porn. But y'all do enjoy porn, right? Yes, I do.
Starting point is 01:05:11 I know. What porn do you enjoy? I got to watch porn when I'm asked to beat. But? No, no, no. I've heard this before. Me too. Do you watch lesbian porn?
Starting point is 01:05:21 No. But I've heard women go, I watch. I could watch gay porn. Hold on. Hold on. Gay porn? Yes, but I think. But.
Starting point is 01:05:32 Savi? What do you think about that? Sabby is judging you right now. How many dicks you need, lady? That's such a thing. You watch two dudes fucking? Okay, so. God, you love.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Yeah, I think it's one of the things where I like just watching it. When I see two guys, I'm not thinking like, oh, it's two guys, whatever. It says two people. and I see dick. I like seeing him to date. Now, see, that's interesting because I know women who don't like gay porn. But I know a lot of women that do watch gay porn too. Really?
Starting point is 01:06:10 I know women who, maybe I'm older, but women used to watch lesbian porn. And that made sense to me because that porn is made to satisfy the woman. The woman, yeah. Right? The women are eating each other out in a way that women would like. And that's why a woman could put herself in the mind frame of the girl receiving and then just ignore the fact that...
Starting point is 01:06:29 But it's like what you said. There's no end. What you mean? It's no end. What does that mean? They're just eating each other. Like, I want to see the finish. No, the girl is squirt.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the girl is squirt. No, that's not. And he's still going. I want to see the end. You want to see a guy come. Yes. Because we end it. Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:48 A sport can be, I mean, you're right. A squirt is not an ender, but he can be. I mean, don't criticize this. This is fine. No, no. A squirt is like a semi-cold. Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The sentence keeps going. Isn't finished. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 01:07:06 A girl's orgasm is a comma. Our orgasm is a period. Period. That's exclamation point, though. In the story. Yo. The book is over. All right, turn the audible off.
Starting point is 01:07:16 So you need to see a dude come and then it's over. You need the money shot. I mean, no, not. I could come during the porn. Yeah. Like, I like to see it in. So you'll type in gay porn in your laptop. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Don't judge. I see a lot of judgment, Comrie. I'm not judging. What about trans porn? No, I haven't. That shit is wild. And porn help don't give you no warning. Like, you'd be scrolling through videos.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Like, I was scrolling through. I just seen some big-ass titties and a big-ass dick. And I had to look because I thought that they were in like some weird position where the woman was on top. I'm like, oh, wait a minute. This is all one unit. I'm like, this is all one unit, bro. Everything I need. I don't want to see.
Starting point is 01:08:00 I think trans porn is actually straight. I had this, I would joke around about this on Flater, but if you think about it, there's a trans woman. Okay. So that means a woman that has penis and tits. And then a cis woman, right? That's the same amount of penis as regular porn. I don't understand this math equation. Explain what I'm trying to say.
Starting point is 01:08:23 It's just more titties. Yeah. Oh, okay. Got you. Right? Because if you have a man and a woman, they're having sex. Yeah. That's two tities, right?
Starting point is 01:08:31 If you have a trans woman, that means a woman with a penis and a woman having sex, that's four titties. Yeah, I care nothing about tautas. Really? Yeah, I don't care about breast at all. Really? Not even a little bit. Really? Not even when I eat chicken.
Starting point is 01:08:49 I'm a leg and thigh guy. Oh, no, you're crazy. Yeah, I don't even like, I don't like, I'm not a, I don't care about breast. I don't care. Like, that's not what I look for when I look for a porn. Is that right? Mm-mm. Maybe because, I mean, maybe because we've seen some.
Starting point is 01:09:01 many breasts throughout the years. Like, breast used to be, back in the day, seeing a nipple was a thing when you were young. Now it's like, that's the first thing you see
Starting point is 01:09:07 all the time. You know what's the thing about breast, bro? I'm serious. Even guys got them. Breast. Breast.
Starting point is 01:09:15 You know what's the interesting thing about breasts? Breast, uh, now, tithies are great, but... Is there a difference
Starting point is 01:09:28 between tities and breasts? Yeah, of course. but titty's being just barely covered are almost better than titty's uncovered. Ooh, no, that's true. You know what I'm saying? That's true.
Starting point is 01:09:41 That's true. When you got like a little star on it or something. Yeah, or like a shirt that's kind of seethrough. You can see like the darkness of the nipple through it. But like, so you almost feel like, am I seeing something I shouldn't? Yeah, yeah. That's why like a nipple piercing is fire, right? Because you get to see titty and you're like, yo, does she know I'm looking at a titty right now?
Starting point is 01:09:59 Yeah, you feel north? What's those outfits? What's those outfits, Taylor? Like, they be having those outfits with? The sideboos? No. The sidebooth? Underboop.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Crazy. Sideboof, still fire. Sideboop always hit. Sideboop and nice cleavage is definitely still fire. Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. If a girl's just walking down the street, their titty's all out, it's like, for a second, you'd be like, oh, titties and after, I don't put them shit's away.
Starting point is 01:10:20 You know what I look for with the cleavage? I look forward from a fashion perspective a lot of times because sometimes. Huh. D. Carry on. Yeah, we're on. Sometimes with those dresses, and you see it a lot doing New York fashion,
Starting point is 01:10:35 the way they have those plunging dresses. Yes. Like, they'd be looking fire when you got the right cleavage, yo. Yes. Bras aren't really being existed in the summertime. Wait a minute. You guys don't wear bras? It's not becoming like a thing like that.
Starting point is 01:10:47 How often do you guys wash your bras and do they start to stink like your armpits? We kind of do it like how y'all wash our jeans. I don't wash much. That's disgusting. We never wash jeans. You know, you'll never wash your jeans? I don't. I don't.
Starting point is 01:11:02 You've never washed your jeans? I don't. You mess up the fit. Yeah. What? I might dry clean them every now. They tell you not to wash them. You go to a nice jeans store.
Starting point is 01:11:10 They're like, don't wash the jeans. You got to work these in. Yeah, you got to break them in a few times. Wait, what? What do you mean? How many times do you wore those? How many times do you wore those jeans? How many times do you wash your bra?
Starting point is 01:11:20 Stop asking for us. No question. Yeah. I'm saying like, we don't have to wash it. If I'm sweating, I'm going to wash my bra. But if it was a regular day. I might wash it like the next Maybe musky assed
Starting point is 01:11:31 Yeah real talk That's like underwear Yeah that is crazy It's really not It's two different things But do you have Do you like when you take your bra off Is the guy whooking up with like
Starting point is 01:11:41 God damn No Now we know why Because girls do put deodorant under their breasts That's it Right? You do under kidney deodor? I've seen girls put deodorant under their breasts
Starting point is 01:11:54 Why? Because they breast get musky Yeah Oh my Mine's, mine is fine. I think when a titty is big enough, it starts to have some stink underneath. It's like another armpit.
Starting point is 01:12:04 I mean, it's true. When tinnies get big enough, they grow hair underneath as well. Yes, they do. No, they do. They do. They do. And around the nipple.
Starting point is 01:12:13 That's a fact. That's a fact. Oh, definitely nipple hair pops out. Sometimes girls got nipple hair. There's nipple hair, but not under, you're saying that's how you know where to suck in the dark. And by the way, when the last time you looked under your breast, you don't look under your breast?
Starting point is 01:12:27 I shower. Yes. But you don't look under it. You have to do a breast check. I do a breast check. You ain't checking for hair. Under it. What you should say?
Starting point is 01:12:35 You ain't check up for hair. You're checking for cancer. There's no fucking hair. But sometimes them hair, you don't know. They pop through the bra if it's sheer. If you got it. No. It does come through like Plato.
Starting point is 01:12:48 No. It does. If you wear one of sexy bras, it's like, what is that called? How much hair have you seen on a nipple? None. Okay. Oh, that hair there, though. That hair there on that nipple, you just got to look.
Starting point is 01:13:03 It's there. Like, it's there. And it's like, it's like the north, south, east, west. Like, it's like, it is. It's a compass. It does. It is. If you look at hair around a nipple, it's one going this way, one going that way,
Starting point is 01:13:13 one going to the left, one going to the right. Look at it. I'm telling you. Y'all don't pay attention to your body. It's our fault. It's our fault. Did you see the English woman? talking to Don Lemon? Do you see that?
Starting point is 01:13:29 Oh, I did saw that. That was ridiculous. That shit was crazy. That was ridiculous. But it's not. It was kind of ridiculous because what Don should have explained to her was every single person was not, so, every single slave that came from Africa wasn't sold. Like that's what she made it seem. Like, she made it seem like they were just selling slaves. It was like, it was a combination. There was some that was sold. It was some that was captured during war. It was something that was taken. Like, well, all of them were captured during war. It's whether they were captured by other black people or white people.
Starting point is 01:13:58 Or Arabs, which really doesn't get talked about at all. You want to keep it 100. 100%. The role that the Arabs played. But I think, I think, so here's the conversation. A living crisis, a austerity budget cuts and so on. And then you have those who are asking for reparations for colonialism. And they're wondering, you know, $100 billion, $24 billion here and there, $500 million there.
Starting point is 01:14:21 Some people want to be paid back. And members of the public are wondering, why are we suffering when you are, you know, you have all of this vast wealth. The conversation is the crown is passing like a billion dollars worth of wealth from the queen to the new king. And there are countries that were colonized by the English empire that are like, yeah, we want our reparations. Like you took so much wealth from us. And so he's posing this question of her. Do you think that the English royal family should pay reparations to these places? And this is what she says. You have all of this vast wealth. Those are legitimate concerns. Well, I think you're right about reparations in terms of if people wanted, though, what they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain.
Starting point is 01:15:02 Where was the beginning of the supply chain? That was in Africa. And across the entire world, when slavery was taking place, which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery? The first nation in the world to abolish it. It was started by William Wilberforce was the British. In Great Britain, they abolished slavery. 2000 naval men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery. Why?
Starting point is 01:15:27 Because the African kings were rounding up their own people. They had them on cages waiting in the beaches. No one was running into Africa to get them. And I think you're totally right. If reparations need to be paid, we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say, who was rounding up their own people and having them handcuffing pages? Absolutely. That's where they should start.
Starting point is 01:15:46 And maybe, I don't know, the descendants of those families where they died at the in the high seas trying to stop the slavery that those families should receive something too, I think, at the same time. Yeah, but what's crazy about that? But the years he said? Why did he respond? What did he say? Nothing.
Starting point is 01:16:00 I don't know if he was out of time, but he just, yeah, he folded. But what's interesting is that this is fucking, I've never heard this take. I've heard the, we're not paying reparations. Right. Okay. This is the first time I've ever heard, African people should pay reparations. And two white people, did you see what she said? said then she goes African
Starting point is 01:16:21 the African king should pay reparations to the families of the white naval soldiers that went there to stop the slave trade. That is a hot take by the way. It's crazy though because every African nation she's talking about was colonized by Europe. And the slave trade is
Starting point is 01:16:38 one thing, but what about the removal of the wealth from those African countries? 100%. 100%. There needs to be atonement for that. So it doesn't even make no sense what she's saying. I just think it's crazy. We don't even know the name of one king in Africa that was involved in the slave trade. It's not common knowledge.
Starting point is 01:16:54 None of us could say, right? We know every white country that was involved. We don't know the, we can't name one that was rounding up their own people and selling them. Because all the Europeans took credit. When you look at the Portuguese, Portuguese were the first people to start feasting off. Oh, that was there. I'm telling you. You think it was Arab before?
Starting point is 01:17:15 Because they were already there. I did a deep dive into slavery the other day because. Wow. That sounds wow. Wow. Okay. This is, I don't want to give away a great movie idea, but like the biggest slave, slave rebellion of all time, including African slaves, took place in Iraq in the 15th century. Really?
Starting point is 01:17:34 Which I had no idea. Come on, Chris. Break it down now? Ottoman Empire? It's why it's the new idiots. No, it was. So, Southern Iraq, Basra, I think is the name of the city. And it's all kind of reed and marshy areas.
Starting point is 01:17:44 And they were cultivating those areas to try to grow some sort of crop. I don't remember which one. And they brought in. And they brought in hundreds of thousands, ultimately, of African slaves, but not from West Africa, which is the Portuguese and the British slave trade, but from East Africa, Kenya, Somalia, Sudan. Sudan, areas like that. And these people lived in these, you know, essentially plantations for generations until they kept building up and building up. And then, you know, they were second-class citizens. They were treated horribly.
Starting point is 01:18:12 They were killed. All sorts of crazy stuff. And then eventually somebody organized them. there was a massive war. I mean, much bigger than anything Nat Turner did. I mean, we're talking the slaves had tens of thousands of soldiers
Starting point is 01:18:23 on their side. They managed to take over a large part of Iraq. They eventually lost and the leader was killed and all that. But it was like one of the biggest uprisings I've ever read.
Starting point is 01:18:34 But think about that. The point is everybody colonized Africa. Everybody raped Africa. Or maybe it's, they suck the resources out of Africa. I'll tell you something else I learned that I didn't know. You know where there was another major slave trade around the 17th century?
Starting point is 01:18:46 Crimea, right? What was that it? Like kind of like in between Europe and Asia, like kind of not too far from, you know, Russia took it off. Why they call them slaves? They were going into Russia and present day Ukraine, the Turks who control that area, bringing back tens of thousands of Russians and Ukrainians, present day Ukrainian. I never had read about that. I wonder if I just want to say one thing real quick to the idea like the idea that like the world is playing. Lundering Africa.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Human history is humans plundering humans. Oh, colonization, but Africa got it the worst, I would think. I don't know. Yeah, Africa got it the worst. Maybe. You think so? I mean, that's what I'm going to respond to that woman. Listen, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:19:32 I guess what I'm trying to say is that like, it's not like they're, these people are conspiring going, all right, it's time to get Africa. It's who's ready to get got. So it's like. To a certain extent, but Africa did have the most natural resource. There's no, okay, there's no question that people, want to take natural resources. I guess what I'm trying to say, like, people were not discriminating on colonizing
Starting point is 01:19:52 motherfuckers. Like, white people were colonizing white people. Like, right now, Russia is invading Ukraine. Like, they're not looking at them and going, oh, these guys look just like us. They have the same language, same culture, everything. They're like, fuck them. They got money. That's mine.
Starting point is 01:20:06 By the way, that is really colonization. What Putin is trying to do is colonization. 100%. All the textbook definition. What we did in the Middle East, right? It's like what we've done to one another. Like what China wants to do to Taiwan. Literally what China wants to do to Taiwan.
Starting point is 01:20:21 It's like human beings are fucked up. And if you think that that wasn't happening within Africa, Africa is the size of, I think, all the other continents put together or something like that. Like Africa is massive. Massive. If you think that that wasn't happening internally in Africa, the Woman King shows you that.
Starting point is 01:20:38 Exactly. Yeah. And Africa colonized parts of Europe. I mean, they colonize Spain. Hannibal. Al-Andalus is the, Moorish Kingdom of Spain that rained for. Oh yeah, the handles, yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:48 It goes both ways, but. I guess what I'm saying is like this is a human thing. This is what humans do one another. And it doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it okay. But it is our history. And I think it'd be beneficial for us to study this and see what we are capable of so that we cannot repeat it.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Yes, but also the reason that they really, my personal take is the reason they don't want to study it is because they know it has to be atoned. an atonement would come through some type of finances. So it doesn't benefit the system that we're currently in to actually have to atone for the slave trade. You want to cover it up. You want to ignore it. Of course.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Absolutely. Of course. I think it's up to the people to not let that happen. I mean, look, Jews are still talking about being slaves in Egypt. As they show, a thousand years later. White people love to hold on to our slavery. If white people were slaves for 36 hours, we were going to write a book out of that shit.
Starting point is 01:21:43 I mean, Scottish people love to talk about. Oh, yeah, yeah. We were enslaved for generations. Would you give it up, though? I mean, number one, that is your history, so you should be able to tell your story. But also, there's always atonement. There's always atonement.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Let me ask you a question. Would you give reparations to Afghanistan, like as an American, would you pay tax dollars to give them money for, like, what we put them through? I don't have nothing to do with it. We do. We do. You've benefited from it. I don't have anything to do it.
Starting point is 01:22:12 No, but you do. You've benefited from it. directly, just like you could say the white people have benefited directly from white supremacy, even though that I haven't enslaved anybody personally. So what I'm saying is your blood, your taxpaying dollars go to that military industrial complex that pays for that oppression of those brown people over there. So your blood is on that shit too. Are you willing to put your tax dollars up to pay them back?
Starting point is 01:22:32 So we do that now. Our tax dollars go to stuff all the time that we don't know what they're going to. No, what I'm saying. And they're supposed to go to people that need it. Are you ready to go? You know, we fucked up in Afghanistan. We need to pay those people some more. money. I think the better
Starting point is 01:22:45 I'm not. I ain't giving them shit. The better question is would you as a white person be willing to give up some of your taxpaying dollars to atone for the original sin of America? If you know in the future, this is what's going to actually probably make America better.
Starting point is 01:23:01 Well, those are two different questions. Would I pay money if somebody was like, seriously, we can fix inequality and we can like make equity possible in this country and all it's going to take is people who have a little bit more to pay back, I would do that shit in a fucking heartbeat. What?
Starting point is 01:23:20 10 times out of 10. I think the reparations conversation, as soon as people hear that word, they're like, in a heartbeat. What? No, no, no, I'm saying I would do it a heartbeat. But that is somebody going 100% this is going to work. I don't think that people have the confidence that whatever system they even have in place is going to actually. fixed inequality that exists
Starting point is 01:23:45 in America. But if it was an actual fix, it's like, yo, Jeff Bezos, stop making a fucking spaceship and put the money right there. Like, that would be fire. If it was a dollar amount that could change it all, are you kidding? And billionaires here didn't do it? And the average wealthy
Starting point is 01:24:01 person didn't chip in? But that's what's so a lot about America, right? Like, they should have corrected all of this way back when it was cheaper. Exactly. That was the... You know what I mean? Like, the same at Hormit they offered the indigenous and his people is they should have the 48th in the muse should have went
Starting point is 01:24:17 to. It's funny that they recognized even back then. Right. Yes. Like something needs to be done. Yes. It's interesting. And those are the people that know history better than we do. Yeah. Like they know exactly what happened. They even admit that like, yeah, we do got to give
Starting point is 01:24:33 them something. Yeah. Like, the same way they did Native Americans to a certain extent. Do you think back then the idea was we got to give them something because it makes it right? Or if we don't do it, there's going to be problems, and this is the way I think a combination of both. I think that's why, like, England paid for their slave owners.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Right. Like, anybody who lost slaves when they made slavery illegal, they got a check from the bank. Americans did, too. No, no. Yeah. slave owners, after was it, the emancipation proclamation, slave owners got reparations. Google it. Slave owners got reparations. Google it. Slave owners got reparations. I think, I forgot how much it was,
Starting point is 01:25:09 but slave owners got, slave owners that lost they're in slaves knowing after the emancipation proclamation they got reparations. Look it up Chris. Looking right now. Did slave owners get reparations in America? I thought about that though.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Like how different would things be in America today if freed slaves got 40 acres in a meal? It would be a lot more black wall streets. Right. You know what I mean? It would be a lot more self-sufficient. There would be less economic inequality. For sure.
Starting point is 01:25:40 Yeah. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. government paid owners an average of about $300 equivalent to $8,000 in 2000. Per slave. The American government paid that. Yeah. To whom?
Starting point is 01:25:51 To slave owners. No, but. It's the District of Columbia compensated Emancipation Act. But this is only a district of Columbia. Yeah, it's just. That's what, I mean, the majority was, that was like the southeast region. No, District of Columbia is just Washington, D.C. Just D.C.
Starting point is 01:26:06 I, what I, I thought I was bigger than that. It might have been. What I do know is that England did it. Now, I don't think England had many slaves in England. I think that most of their slaves were in the Caribbean, right? So, but still, the fact that they gave the slave owners a payment for their slaves probably stopped a revolution from happening in England. Right.
Starting point is 01:26:31 Whereas your lights on your phone. Whereas in America, I wonder if that would have happened, if that would have held not have a revolution and then ease that economic insecurity? Give me your phone, Chris. I got it. Maybe I have it. That's what I'm still on. Give me your goddamn phone right now.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Jesus Christ, Chris. I mean, after 45, you got an exception on these things. Now, I think that's just the name of a bill, Chris. Okay, might be. Yeah, the District of Columbia compensated Emancipation Act. That's the name of the bill. The federal government compensated the owners of enslaved. people for their loss of property.
Starting point is 01:27:12 The people who were freed were not compensated nor given any assistance for the transition to their. You're not doing this because it's the just thing to do. You're doing this to avoid war. Yeah. And sometimes you have to make incredibly difficult decisions to avoid loss of life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:33 Or if you really, and I don't know, if you believe in energy and you believe in karma, you should want to atone for that. You know what I mean? mean, if you think it was wrong, and you can look back and say, man, you know, yeah, we treated people like property. It was inhumane. That's why it's so interesting to hear all of these Democrats talk about immigrants being treated inhumanely. I don't want to hear no white politician talking about people being used as capital, bro. Right. Like, come on. And in a country that
Starting point is 01:28:00 celebrates the founding fathers, like, knock it off, right? So it's like, if you can see that, atone for it, and let's see if we can, you know, make things right and have a better future. I'm willing to help out and I had nothing to do with it. Meaning like my family wasn't even here for it. I get you. So it's like we came after that shit was over. Yeah. Now that doesn't mean that black people weren't going through things,
Starting point is 01:28:26 but the original sin of slavery had ended by the time my family came here. Well, to your point about benefiting, right? Without a doubt. You know what I mean? So it's like the same thing. Who did you say? Afghanistan. Who did you say? Afghanistan.
Starting point is 01:28:38 Yeah. So if we're benefiting off work that they did or whatever it was, it'd be the same logic. People came to America. But we were here when we invaded and we put politicians in place that decided to invade and we didn't do anything to stop it. I guess what I'm saying is like there's probably somebody more responsible than me who's benefited more than me. They're probably legacy families. Right. The company New Orleans who has.
Starting point is 01:29:03 Yeah, corporate corporations. Like that's when I was doing my little research, that's one thing I noticed that set up. part the African, excuse me, American slave trade from every other one I was reading about, is the fact that like, even with the Russians being taken to the Ottoman Empire or Iraq, like after a generation, you had an ability to buy your way out or hustle your way out of that slavery. And it obviously didn't happen for every slave and it had to be an exceptional case. And think about how fucked up that. Think about somebody like generation after generation. Like that's where we fuck. I mean, it's all fucked up. But like that was what was especially
Starting point is 01:29:37 generationally. There are people that could afford to pay for themselves to get out of slavery. But your kids are behind. Your wife. It's horrible. That's what happened
Starting point is 01:29:45 with Denmark in Charlottesah Carolina. That's what was so evil about. I don't like that argument because it seems like you're calling all other slavery like slavery light. You're like, oh, they aren't really, they weren't really slaves. Like I heard people do this.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Who's fault is that though? No, no. Like American slavery was so crazy. I mean, oh, you were slave in Europe. Oh, that was nothing. But you know why? Your mom and dad got taken from you when you were a kid. Oh, that's nothing compared to America.
Starting point is 01:30:09 But you know why they feel that way and I'm about to bring it back around? Because of entertainment. Because the movies and the TV shows. That's what they show us. They show us slavery in America and how brutal it was. I haven't seen the stories other places. I've seen stories about the Holocaust. That's how I can say how brutal the Holocaust was.
Starting point is 01:30:27 You know what I mean? I haven't seen the stories about indigenous people and Native Americans. Like, they don't show us that. So going back with the Woman King, I appreciate the positive. propaganda. If it's not, even if it's not based on a true story, I appreciate seeing
Starting point is 01:30:45 a group of people talk about the complicated nature of slavery, actually have a conscience and say, this is not something we want to do anymore, going to free other slaves and burning down the slave port. Why did I love Django?
Starting point is 01:31:02 Because Jango wasn't a victim. You know what I'm saying? Why do I love the Woman King? Because those women were not victims. Like, there is some white people that get killed in that movie. Really? Oh, my God. I was in, like, the last 20 minutes, third best fight scene I ever seen in the movie ever.
Starting point is 01:31:19 Really? Infinity War, endgame, woman king, damn it. Wow. Okay? That final fight scene was amazing. I mean, they show some brutal shit, and I'm like, wow. That was great. That's far.
Starting point is 01:31:33 And guess what? Every now and then, that's what you need. You need to leave a movie. feeling empowered because you see your people in a victorious position. That usually doesn't happen in those kind of movies. So
Starting point is 01:31:46 it's nice. I enjoyed it. Durally. So y'all believe in reparations? That's all I want that's the final question. Of course. Of course. Okay. Ray J's this shit. My whole thing is, man, when you sit down with somebody and you interview
Starting point is 01:32:03 a man, they trust in you, it's a safe space, present their words, the way they want their words for Zinni. So how do you make sure on your show that you can do that? On TV? Yeah. I can't. So isn't that scary for a guest that's coming on to be interviewed?
Starting point is 01:32:17 Like how they don't chop this shit? I mean, it depends. It depends what they're talking about. I think Ray J. was a unique case, you know, because for whatever reason, people are scared of the Kardashian-Gener that it is always... Why are they scare the Kardashian-Generes?
Starting point is 01:32:30 I mean... What's going to happen? You're either scared of them or you want the relationship. Oh, they're scared of not having the relationship. That's right. You got to make sure. at the award shows every year. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:32:40 You might want them to be guests on, you might want them to be guests on your other late night talk shows. You know what I'm saying? I can't be mad at them wanting to preserve the relationship, you know what I mean? And you can't be mad at the Kardashians. Flexing their muscle.
Starting point is 01:32:53 Exactly. A hundred percent. Yeah, protect your brand. And that is a huge stain on their brand. If they had three sex tapes, the whole thing was playing, the mom was looking at the sex tapes, giving pointers and shit.
Starting point is 01:33:04 What you just said is what I reminded me what I wanted to say. When you do those deals for a company like, what's the company called? Vivid. This guy's crazy. I don't know. Well, what's the pornography company? Well, hey, do you guys know what the pornography company?
Starting point is 01:33:20 I've never watched pornography before. I can't remember anybody that's going to come out of those with a V. Both parties have to sign off. So Kim had to sign off. Ray J had to sign off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is wrong with admitting that? Nothing's wrong with admitting.
Starting point is 01:33:34 You actually, look, genius that. you signed off on this, marketed it, promoted it in a way that you actually made money and blew up off it. The fact that they haven't told the real story is why we've had so many trash-ass sex tapes. Because everybody thinks you can just do a sex tape, bleak it, and become the Kardashians. No. I was watching that shit. The other night, man, it was fire stuff. I've never seen it. You've never seen it, bro. I've seen bits and pieces, but I've never watched it. But we talk about how it might hinder Kim, it's hindered Ray J. Huge. Because think about it, if you and you, You know.
Starting point is 01:34:08 Because you don't get any presses, like positive presses a dude for a sex. That's right. That's right. You just get looked at like a porn star. That's right. We'll get famous. That's right. And what if you want to do bigger business?
Starting point is 01:34:17 You know what I'm saying? And it's like, let's just say Ray J has a company like Raycon, right? Raycon is carried in different places. What if there's like a big like department store that wants to carry it? But they also do business with the Kardashians. So they're like, what? We don't want to insult the Kardashians. Let's ask the Kardashians if they want to share self space with Ray.
Starting point is 01:34:34 What if they'd be like, no. Wow. You know what I'm saying? And you're saying that that might be happening? I'm just putting out a hypothetical. So they block in Ray J? I think, yeah, clearly. That's fucked up, bro.
Starting point is 01:34:47 Hey, man. I mean, I just, I mean, it just is. Like, you're on loving hip hop. You can't tell your storyline. You know what I mean? But your storyline's playing out on. On their side? Oh, you can't talk about it on loving hip-hop.
Starting point is 01:35:00 So I understand his frustration. I get it. He got to come on a breakfast club so we can talk about that shit, bro. Yeah. When is he going to do that? Or brilliant idiots. Or flagrant. We would love to have you.
Starting point is 01:35:09 I think Flagrant would be good for you. Flagrant would be good for me. We would love to. We are not worried about burning bridges or destroying relationships. Okay? And we are not down with that snow bunny love. So you can talk about your regret. We need Ray J and we need Dr. Umar Johnson immediately.
Starting point is 01:35:23 How can I go to Dr. Umar's show? I don't think that people. I love Dr. Umar Johnson. Umar. Umar, you got to do flagrant, man. Ray J. Y'all got to do. I'm being dead.
Starting point is 01:35:32 Like, you think it started off as a joke. And now I'm like, I admire this guy. How can you not love Dr. Uma? Who's funnier? It makes me, it's hard for me to write comedy because I go nothing. God damn, you really took that bottle right there.
Starting point is 01:35:46 It was fucking crazy. All his talk. What the, all his talk is sucking cock. Yo, you was looking like, I had to show you how he's done. Bro. Dude, that was gnarly, bro. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:36:01 Imagine some call his mighty head game gnarly. That's joke. God, damn. You got a hit like Trump. That's why Trump is so delicate. He's like, they're not going to say, I'm sucking dick out here. You know what I'm saying? Not only is Dr. Umar funny.
Starting point is 01:36:15 He's the fucking work done, bro. Oh, really? Bro, Dr. Umar's school is there. Where is it? Bro, you got to go watch his Instagram page and his YouTube. He's inside the school. He's showing you what it looks like.
Starting point is 01:36:27 He just did a block party that other day. Let me tell you, Dr. Umarer. Is anybody being educated at the school? I mean, it's still trying to get accreditation. I look this shit up. What type of school, though? Isn't it a high school? It's called the, uh, look at it.
Starting point is 01:36:38 It's called the Frederick Douglass, Marcus Garvey Academy. For boys and, for boys. He's got, the school is there. It's in Delaware. Yeah. I've been donating. It better be fucking ready. How much do you donate?
Starting point is 01:36:49 Did you put the code? Did you use this code? One Bitcoin. What the fuck, Alex? Who did you type in? Dr. Umar's school name. Scotland School for Veterans Children.
Starting point is 01:37:00 See what I'm saying? No, right there. Right. See what I'm saying? We are destined to be together, Dr. Umar Johnson. playing yourself. I'm the only snow bunny in your life. With Dr. Humor Johnson's school.
Starting point is 01:37:12 For children. There you go. It's the Frederick Douglas Marcus Garvey Academy. Oh, there it goes. Yeah. The Frederick Douglas Marcus Garvey Academy. It's open. It's not open with the kids yet. But it's built. Yo, I be watching him. He's doing the renovations. He had the HVAC put in. Yep. He just solicited for security cameras. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:37:31 Like he's doing it. He built something. It's there. You're acting like you got to convince you don't got to convince me, bro. I know it's there. People be hating on Dr. Umar, man. They're stupid. They don't have a sense of humor. They don't have a sense of, like, it's no question that he's the funniest guy in the internet, right?
Starting point is 01:37:49 There's no question. Because he's not trying. And I love the fact that he's become the boogeyman of biracial relationship. If you pop up with a biracial relationship, Dr. Umar is watching you. That's the only thing I disagree with that he says. What? About biracial relationship. What you should be able to love whoever you love.
Starting point is 01:38:05 That being said, Dr. Umar. Not me. You can... You can love whoever you want to love, but I'm judging. Are you judging? I'm only... Who are you to judge? A black man with a black woman?
Starting point is 01:38:20 I guess that makes sense. I guess that seems to have a lot of sense behind it. The only reason I'm judging it is because, like, you know, if you're one of those people that talk so pro-black, you know what I mean? But you sleep white. On be the side, male or female? I'm like, okay, come on. Come on.
Starting point is 01:38:36 Now, what if you're one of those people who talk so pro-white? We got a black woman. But got a black woman. What do you say about that? Pro-white as fuck, black woman. I think I respected it. I never thought about it. Right?
Starting point is 01:38:50 Yeah, I never thought about it. Wouldn't that be kind of fire? You mean a black man? What do you mean? A black man with a black woman? White dude. Oh, no, no. Maga in the streets.
Starting point is 01:39:00 Nope. Nope. Something else in the sheets. No. MAGA in the streets, N-W-A-C-P-E-C-E. No, man, I like black men with black women. How do you say that shit, huh? By the way, what's wrong with saying that?
Starting point is 01:39:22 Saying what? Black men should be with black women. And listen, Asians like to keep it in their community, right? That's not true. Jewish men have been dating Asians for centuries. I bet you some people on your wife's side had a little problem with it, right? No, they're incredibly happy. They didn't at all?
Starting point is 01:39:36 They love that. It's an accomplishment. Oh. Jewish man, Asian woman, match made in heaven. Some Chinese people don't like the, they don't like the people marrying black people. Well, that is different. Different story. It's a different story.
Starting point is 01:39:50 It's a different story. It's a different story. That's a very different story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what we would call racism. That is what you're, that is what, that's racist. Is it, are the preference? Is it community?
Starting point is 01:40:05 Yeah, sometimes. I don't know. I don't know if it's racist or they just want to keep it in the community. I don't know. Well, they're fine not keeping the community when it's a Jewish guy. Blasian is big now.
Starting point is 01:40:16 Ooh. Black, with Asian girl. Black male, Asian girl. My kids, you're either Wayian? White Asian. I'd never heard what Christian said.
Starting point is 01:40:27 Wayian. Chris said, I thought that was a fucking GPS at. Wayian. That's not the... There you go, Chris. Who kids? Mask off, baby. So it used to be any half Asian kid in America was known as Hoppa.
Starting point is 01:40:41 Hopper. Really? That's a West Coast thing. East Coast, we never said that. Hawaiian, actually. Yeah, yeah. That was supposed to be the official term. What is Hoppe me?
Starting point is 01:40:48 I think it's a Hawaiian term for mixed. Okay. So you could be half black, half Asian, half Jewish, half Asian, whatever. Yeah. According to my kids, in New York City, at least, it's Blasian, which is black and Asian, or Asian, which is white in Asian. Wow. And they, oh, yeah, she's waging, all that.
Starting point is 01:41:07 Oh, there are a lot of waging kids in this class. Yeah. A lot of blasian kids in this class. But I think the kid, I mean, like we always, like Whitney Houston always said, the children of the future, right? So I think the kids are way more progressive than the generations before them were. So they probably won't even look at it as, oh, it's a problem to be with a black person or there's a problem to be with a white person.
Starting point is 01:41:24 It's the older folks that's saying keep it pure. Have you heard what Dr. Rummar has said about the half white, half Asian? No. He calls him snow dragons. And it's And that And that Is it
Starting point is 01:41:42 You know That's going to To melt All this Yo, I'm telling you all right now Snow Dragons is going
Starting point is 01:41:48 Snodgons is going Stick Yeah listen Snow dragons is crazy though Uh banana Oh shit
Starting point is 01:41:59 That's what I'm talking about That's what the fuck I'm talking about Okay Fuck a glizzy gobbler, bro. Banana man, double fist. You're not even double fisting. You got one fist, two bananas, bro.
Starting point is 01:42:11 That's the fuck I'm talking about. That's the new challenge. I'm hungry. I wanted to have another one banana. I don't want to, like, eat them back to back. Potassium, potassium. Call that peepees for short. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:42:22 You fucking eat those peepees. How do you eat two bananas at the same time? I don't eat two bananas at the same time. Why not? I don't have that kind of mouth. I am in all of your mouth right now. Thanks, bro. I am in all of your mouth.
Starting point is 01:42:33 Let me see. Seems like you're trying to make. I will say this. I will say it only looks like you only bite in one. Oh shit. Ooh, they call me the banana man. Tropicana man. Uh,
Starting point is 01:42:43 wild like the Taliban. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we got to remix it. Not rubber band man, banana, nan, man. Banana, man. Oh, fuck the Taliban. Whoa, whoa, why are you making it gay? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:42:57 We just having potassium, we eat fruits, so we could take good shit. Why are you making this gay for no reason, bro? With the Taliban at all. Huh? Damn. Why are you making this weird? I'd never seen somebody eat two bananas at the same time.
Starting point is 01:43:11 How do people eat more than a banana, though? I've never seen an eighth do that, bro. I've never seen that in my life. Let's do this, dude. That's where I learned it. I don't know, bro. With one hand, you ain't even double fisting, bro. Say again?
Starting point is 01:43:25 You're not even double fisting. That'd be weirder to just go like this with it. Like, it's more. That is wild. That is wild. You know, but like, if I want to move. If I want to move the mic or if I want to do it. I don't understand why you guys are making this so weird.
Starting point is 01:43:37 I'm not. I'm impressed. Why can the guy not have two bananas at the same time? I am impressed. Oh, shit. Holy shit. Yeah, a little something right here. Damn.
Starting point is 01:43:46 Same after later. Yeah, when you're taking two bananas, you're going to get some stuff on your lips. When did you realize that you had the skill to eat two bananas at the same fucking time? I mean, I've always eaten two bananas at the same time. I don't understand why you think this is so weird. I don't think it's weird. I'm impressed. I am genuinely impressed.
Starting point is 01:44:03 Wow. What I'm really impressed, but I'm like, oh, how long is those bananas? I just gagged. You did. I'm sitting there wondering how long of those bananas, and every time you bite into it, it don't look like it's getting shorter. Well, something about me putting my lips on something like this,
Starting point is 01:44:19 it gets longer, dude. That's usually how it works. I don't understand why you're making this so gay. Can we talk about it? It's not gay. Why do you think it's gay? What's gay? What's gay?
Starting point is 01:44:31 What's gay about this? Dude, I don't know how shit. I don't think it's not. Nothing gay, man. Double the potassium. Double P. There you go. Why is this so weird?
Starting point is 01:44:40 If I just had one banana, it'd be totally normal. It's not weird, bro. Somebody will be jerking off to this video later. I'll tell you that much. One banana, you got to break it off. But why would they jerk off to hell? If that shit ends up on OnlyFans, what do you mean? That shit might end up on OnlyFans, bro.
Starting point is 01:44:53 Not only fans fucking porn hub. Why? That's kind of fly. Nah, that's not a stupid. It's boring with one. Dad's boring with one. When you do it with two? No, it's because he broke it.
Starting point is 01:45:03 it off. That's the proper way to do it. I didn't break it off. There was nothing left. He was to the asshole, a banana right now. Okay, what's going on with Biden? Oh, man. Joe Biden, somebody once said that Joe Biden is actually funnier than Donald Trump. Yeah. It's just that they don't let him out the house. Who said that?
Starting point is 01:45:21 The person that's currently fucking taking two bananas to the throat. You know what they say? They say you either die a hero or live long enough to lose your headline and be a villain. They ain't never said that part. What? They ain't never said the headline part. You're disrespectful than the mom from. Yeah, I mean, you got your way. I don't have one either, Cheego. Yeah, well, I do a little bit now, so I know that that's what you're just doing. Of course, man, you see my shit.
Starting point is 01:45:48 Oh, shit. Did you get? No, no. Really? No, I about it got that. I ought to be a mother fucking model right now. Leave you. You ever thought about it? Hope my shit don't never grow bad. God wouldn't do that to me. Would you? You ever thought about it? No, I couldn't do it. I started the process. You did? The PRP shit, but that shit hurt too bad. No, I couldn't do it.
Starting point is 01:46:08 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, PRP. They draw your blood. Rich. Yeah. It's like platelet rich. I don't know. Sluited my, snoot to Dr. Natasha Sandy.
Starting point is 01:46:19 She'd just be experimenting on me. Plasma. Plasma. Plasma. Plasma. Yeah, so she draw your blood and then they draw your blood and then they like shoot it back into the spots in your head that's bald. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:30 That shit hurt too bad, though, bro. Getting fucking. shots in your head, I couldn't go through it. Oh, no, yeah. I'm definitely not getting no shots in my head. My shit already swollen enough. But what I'm saying is I could never, I could never cheat. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro.
Starting point is 01:46:43 Hey, dude. I didn't hear the whoa in that one. I mean, I ain't hear that. I mean, I have a swore. I have a big head. Pause. Do you say it was throbbing? I didn't know.
Starting point is 01:46:52 That's what you heard. That's what you heard. That's what you heard. That's what you're. That's what you. That's a woman. Robbin. Robbin.
Starting point is 01:46:59 Yeah. Batman. Batman and Robin and. The fact that his mind works that's crazy like that. How you didn't say that before? His mind works so quick on that type of shit. He'd be waiting on it, man.
Starting point is 01:47:12 That was crazy. You know what I mean? That means, right? Who's the supervillian, though, bro? The poker. What the fuck, girl? This nigger.
Starting point is 01:47:36 Somebody's definitely about to make that online. This man is a bad man dropping in the phone. We are going to make it online. Yeah, this man right here, man. Oh, my goodness. But yeah, get off LeBron, man. Y'all just ready for Brian to retire, man. It happens, though.
Starting point is 01:47:48 He's been around for a long time. You think he should retire? No. No. You say you're waiting on his son, but I don't, you know. Yeah, I think he should play as long as he can. You know what I mean? Keep stretching the legacy out, man.
Starting point is 01:47:59 Don't let anybody else project the ability not to be able to do that great shit on the youth. planning. If Tom Brady's still playing, he's 45, you keep doing it for us, doing it on our side. And rest of the piece to take off to me, you know it's crazy. It's like Amigo's been around for the past 11 years, right? And it's like, we all knew they were like
Starting point is 01:48:20 the best group of the generation. You know, it wasn't a lot of hip-hop groups, you know what I mean? But what they did, the rap, they did change rap, right? Like in a lot of ways. Like, I'm going to say change, but they bought back. They bought a different sound because, you know, that sound of rap really comes out of Memphis.
Starting point is 01:48:36 Yes, three six. That's right. That's right. That, you know, that style of rap, but they took it to another level. They made it mainstream and brought it back to a younger generation who probably had never heard three six before. That's right. So yeah, they definitely changed the sound of rap and take off. It's incredible. It's a style. It's a name for it. I can't remember the name. I can't remember the name. The exact name of it, but it's a style of, you know, the sent in the sentence to the foot, six in the ten of them. You know what I mean? Lord infamous from the three six months.
Starting point is 01:49:04 A bunch of people from Memphis, they created that style, that specific style of rap. And they bought it back. And then the Migos came, you know what I mean, and took it to a whole other level. I didn't know that. But what bugs me out about this is like, why do we always got to wait until somebody died and say they're the greatest? Now all of a sudden they're like, oh, the Migos is the most legendary group and take off was the best lyricist from the Migo.
Starting point is 01:49:27 I'm like, why? I mean, I just think that that happens, especially in our community. I mean, I say this all the time. I don't think Martin Luther King would have a street in America if he was still alive. Damn. You know what I mean? I think the reason why Jesse Jackson doesn't have one is because he's still alive. Damn.
Starting point is 01:49:42 I think it's just easier for you to get flowers, as they say, when you're not here to be able to walk up on somebody and make them feel less than them because you got them. As crazy as that may sound. We put value on scarcity. Yeah, exactly. And there's nothing more scarce than being gone. Right, exactly. So I think that that's just what it's.
Starting point is 01:50:03 it is, I think death is so final that it's easy for me to give you everything that you, because, you know, like you said, when you're living, you might fuck up the legacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when you're gone, it's over with now. Whatever you do, when you pass away, whatever it is you did is done. So, you know, everybody that's still walking around, they have the ability to be able to do some shit to scale their legacy back. Because think about it, you know, if, if God forbid, I don't want to wish death on nobody,
Starting point is 01:50:27 like, you know, you'd be doing the motherfuckers and shit. I ain't never wish death on nobody. You did, go. That was nasty. That was nasty. I never wish you. I don't even play with them. That was nasty.
Starting point is 01:50:36 No way. I was nasty. Yeah, you play with the poker. But, you know, like figuratively speaking, let's say if, you know, R. Kelly would have died in the 1999. Oh, wow. He would have been considered to be the hero, the greatest. But now that he's lived long enough to fuck his legacy up, then, you know, I think that's why you don't, you don't see people get their flowers until they die in the way that they do when they die. And I hate seeing them young brothers go so young, man.
Starting point is 01:51:04 Yeah, that shit sucks. I mean, coming from a community with, you know, I've lost a lot of friends and family, the violence, man, to know that, you know, from the story that we have heard, I don't know what actually happened, but to know that he was just there. Not even part of it. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:51:21 He was just there. But, you know, the thing about death that I understand and dealing with it so much is it's guaranteed to all of us. So we don't get to pick how we come or how we go. So I just think that we need to, unfortunate and the way that he went out is, I think that we need to start having a better relationship with death because death is a problem for the living.
Starting point is 01:51:41 You know what I mean? Like, it's a living issue. Like the dead people who are dead don't have no more issues. So I think we need to start learning how to have a better relationship with it while we're still here. That's a hard thing, man. My man, Ryan Holiday gave me this coin and the coin literally says you are going to die. Yeah. And it's like, he's like, yo, you should carry this with you and look at it because it
Starting point is 01:52:00 helps you to appreciate every single moment. Tattoo, Memento Mori and Morphati. It's a stoic mantra that says remember death, love your fate, which means understand that it's inevitable. It's the most guaranteed is for everybody to, everybody is going to die one day. So you have to love the fact that that's your reality and live in it and enjoy every moment that you have. I need 99, bro. Let me ride out the 99. I want to see this shit play out, bro. Hell yeah. I want to see it. Yeah, yeah. I want to live long too. You know what I mean? You know, and the thing is, it's just like the fact that we don't get to choose that fate.
Starting point is 01:52:38 Like, and I always ask people, if you knew the day that you were going to die, how would you live? You know what I mean? Like, or, you know, just in regards to money and how much emphasis we put on having money. Like, if I said, hey, man, I got a billion. I got that $1.9 billion for you in the jackpot that's coming, but you die tomorrow. Would you take it? You don't want it. But if I, if you had the $1.9 and they told you, you, you know,
Starting point is 01:53:00 you're a daughter-a-maw, but it calls 1.9 and say your life, how quick would you give it up? I give them a little. I mean, where you're going to die? Yeah, really, yeah. You got to take the whole thing? That's not the offer, motherfuckett. You can't negotiate?
Starting point is 01:53:14 No, you can't negotiate. It's the nigga that touched Uncle Charles four-head standing in front of you. That's who you're talking to, and that's the deal, G. You're probably getting mad that I even offered. You want to negotiate? Wow, you're out of here. Black eyes. You know what I was thinking?
Starting point is 01:53:33 I was like, damn, Takeoff was 28. Just the Bieber to perform at Take-A-Oz funeral. Is that real? I don't believe that's real. He might sing a ballad or something. I can see that. But if Take-Off was 28, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:53:44 I've been interviewing them guys since they were 16? 17-8s, yeah. Wow. They've been coming to breakfast clubs since, like, 20, wow. 2012? Yeah. 2013?
Starting point is 01:53:53 Like, we got Migos interviews we never put out. Really? Yeah, because they were so young and they just weren't good. They wouldn't have put them in a, a good light, you know what I mean? I'm glad did y'all do that. I always wondered if that happened,
Starting point is 01:54:05 like if y'all had interviews that you can. Hell, yeah. You know what I mean? I didn't know if that was the case. I'm still sitting on a Paul Mooney interview right now that we never put out, God bless the dead. Why is that? Paul was in there wilding.
Starting point is 01:54:15 And listen, now this was, this is when I didn't even have a good sense. And I had been to plenty of Paul Mooney shows. So if I was in on making the decision not to put it out, then he must have been really wilding. And I keep saying to myself, I need to go back and listen to that interview and see what he was saying,
Starting point is 01:54:30 That made you not, that made you like put an interview out. You have said some of the most outlandish shit on the microphone. That was said, man. Uh, yeah. You do say, that was, that never happened. That shit you were talking about Batman before it was crazy. What? You did.
Starting point is 01:54:45 You always bring up gay shit for no fucking reason, bro. Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you talking? Shut up, man. What was that shit? Who would you say was the best villain again? The didler or whatever? The didler? What was you said?
Starting point is 01:54:58 The didler? Oh, yo. Two-face would be wild for a threesome, right? Yo, it was... Imagine getting the head from Tooface. Like, yo, turn to the left. You know, like, turn to the right, right? Right?

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