The Brilliant Idiots - Come On! (Yourself)

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

This week on Brilliant Idiots Akaash fills in for Charlamagne, and with Andrew, Wax, and Taylor they discuss couples therapy, R. Kelly being found guilty, Will and Jada Smith, Ari Fletcher buying Money Bagg Yo land, ask an idiot, and more!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody and welcome to the Brilliant Idiots podcast. And today it is brought to you by Squarespace, okay? From websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business. Okay, there are no hidden fees or price hikes. And all websites are optimized for mobile. And it's so simple, you can just start with a design template and use drag and drop tools to make it your own.

How do you do it? You head to Squarespace.com slash idiot for a first. free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code idiot to save 10% off your first purchase. Now, let's start the show. It's so stupid. It's positively brilliant. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Shultzzi. Charlamay is not here today. He has a special secret that he's handling, okay? And maybe you guys will know about that secret in the future. Maybe you will not. But I've been told that this secret is not out there in the world, right? Taylor. Taylor, what, what, Al?

Wax? I don't know what's going on. I hate starting the pot on a lie. What are you talking about? It's not a lie for me. It's a lie. You do know it's going on. I don't know nothing.

You do know everything. Me? Yeah. All right, well, well, we have Akash Singh filling in for Charlemagne today. And Akash also knows the thing that we're lying about. But it's somebody else's personal business. I know.

I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say what it is, but I know. We all know. Please like wax. Taylor is on the mic today. Now that Charlemagne's not here, I refuse. I refuse to silence black women. I don't silence black women.

Not on my podcast, not on any platform of mind. Will I silence black women? We'll see how long that lasts today. I might pull the plug right out of that fucking mic. But I am not silencing black women on this podcast today. Taylor, welcome. Hi. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? Here's your big shot. Be interesting. I'm always interesting. Here we go. There we go. I agree.

They just typed in www.reddit.com on their browsers. And they're getting ready to roast. Listen, we are here today. I'm sure Charlemagne will explain why in the near future you guys will know. But all cool, good things. So don't be concerned. Like, this is all great. Blessings, blessings.

Blessings. God is good. Okay. What is the saying? God is good? All the time. All the time. All the time.

All the time. All right. Good shit. Okay. So we got some things going down here. Taylor, you put together some notes for us. Snoop Dog announces next album on Tonight Show

plus Def Jam Kids album two. It's positively brilliant. Oh, that's positively brilliant? Yes, he has to scroll up. Why is that positively brilliant? What do you mean? That Snoop Dog announces new album on the Tonight Show plus a Def Jam Kids album two.

You don't think, no? You all think that's cool? I don't understand. Nobody watches the Tonight Show. I mean, only listen to gospel. I'm just big enough black excellence, so whatever. What is death? Jam kids.

That's something new. I guess for songs for kids. Congratulations. That's dope. How do you feel about it? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I promise you only listen to gospel. I ain't going to lie. The only music you listen to is gospel.

The only gospel. Look, you see what I got with my fucking leg? This is what I walk around every day with. I have to have gospel music in my ears to walk around. This is absolutely terrifying. Can you throw me this mask right here? I can't believe that you walk around with this mask. I have to walk around.

You're asking for it. You're asking for it. I'm asking for it. I'm asking for it. I would be way more scared of me. What are you asking about? You're a huge black guy with fucking dreadlocks. You're walking around the skull mask, like the predator.

Everybody's got a reason to be scary. No, that mask is only scary for white guys wearing it. That's a serial killer mask. Yes. Blacks go on serial killers. Wax. No mask way scarier than waxed that mask. Can I say something?

And this is something that you should all know. White guys do not use masks to serial kill. We use our whiteness. You would never expect that we were going to be killers. And then we take you, we snatch you up, and then we kill. you're being an asshole. You're being an asshole. No, I'm not. You're being an asshole. What is this for? What are you doing with this? This is for my aerosoph paintball spot. But you're not, my mask. But are you playing paintball

today? Yes, I was actually. But I just bought it to anybody know they are for sale. You want to go ahead and go to Who's Wax paintball. Oh, this is an item that he's sell. You're a truck. He's a soldier boy on this podcast. Every single week, he got a new item that he's drop shipping. No, no nothing. Apparently. Can you just put this? Can you just put this? on. He's like raging. He really is. He got AirPods. WaxCon headphones. Everything, brother. Listen. Okay, this is good. There you go.

Yeah. Oh, no, that's scary as fuck. Yeah, it's scary. It's scary. It's scary. It's terrifying. You know what you're like the predator. I don't see wax. You look better. No. Taylor with a bar. Reddit. Don't hate on that. That was funny. That was an actual funny line that Taylor just said right here. Coming with heat. Okay. Wax. I'm going to call the cops if you don't take that off right now. I'm not playing around.

You want to look as scary as me on Halloween or something, you know. Okay, make sure you go get that. Where can they get the masks? Who's wax right in that? Okay, we got it. Keep scrolling down, Taylor. Dot net, dog. You can't even get a dot com, bro.

I'll tell you. It's all positive. Positively brilliant. Keep going on. Okay, this is positively brilliant. Let's start with what a fucking idiot. Let's start with what a fucking idiot. Okay.

Haunted houseworker accidentally stabs 11-year-old when attempting to scare him. Stop them with what, though? But yeah. A real night. But why would you have a real night? Isn't this supposed to be a joke? I don't know. Click on the link.

I don't know. You're supposed to read these fucking articles. Oh, you want me to read them. Okay. Yeah, before. Beforehand. I think is the idea. Okay, yeah, this is absolutely crazy.

But that haunted house is legit. Now, what do we think? So basically, the man was allegedly willing a knife he would have brought from home and began scraping the ground as a child approached with a friend. And basically the kid wasn't acting scared. So to scare him, he stabbed. Hold on a horn. He stabbed the kid's toe.

And the kid was wearing crocks. Fuck that kid. Yeah, that's all the kid. What? Why? You get a real sneaker where your toes is protected. Yeah. You're wearing a crook.

Obviously, you're going to get stabbed in your foot. Anything can happen with the crocs on it. Yeah. Anything can happen with your shoes that you have on. Yeah. You can't go on flip-flops. Exactly. Why not?

Why were you dressed that way? Yeah, he was asking for it. I'm saying, he really wasn't asking for. You came to the fucking haunted house in Cros. That's only like 40% of your feet covered. Like, you don't get a fucking... Can we be honest? You work in a haunted house.

You like scaring people. And then this cocky little kid walks in wearing crocks. Like, there's no way I'm going to have to run out. I'm not going to be terrified at all. You're going to want to scare that motherfucker. I bet the next time he come in with some timbrelins. Hell yeah. Some steel toes.

Yeah. Be ready for action. Come on. Come on now. It's a haunted house. Why are you trying to protect this kid? Ryan. Because he's a child

Who dressed him? He don't know that How do we know he's a child? He's 11 years old His parents let him walk outside With crocs like that Through a haunted house Parents are accountable as well

Come on you how old was Mulan When she started getting busy That's a good point She's probably 11 years old Saving the country Right? Come on, you know People have done great things

In 11 years old Definitely put on some real fucking sneakers You know what I was doing at 11? So y'all don't have cross at all? What were you doing at 11? Running. Running. Yeah, yo, I went to therapy yesterday, right?

And? It's like a new version of therapy. It's like, now I get, I get the, uh, listen to like, to my talk. Because I curse the therapy is out. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Fuck, yeah. You know, yeah, I'm taking mad time.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So, so I told the motherfucker. Yeah, because everything is a fucking hour. Why? You talk slow. A hundred dollars an hour. Oh, it's going to three hours before you fucking end up talking.

So she was like, oh, yeah, if you're billing by the hour. Yeah. They might as well talk slow. Yeah. So, so you're. name again. You know my fucking name? Yeah. So now we're doing the shit that you get, people get to

and talk, like audio book shit. So now I get to talk to you after. I talk to Carla after, so that's my therapy. So now I get to yell at the lady. No more, I get to yell like Carla. What do you mean? What the fuck did you just say are you all in the same room? No, yeah, the lady is like the

audio book. So it's not like somebody... I don't understand what's the happening. You're talking about Zoom? No, no. It's an audio. person talk to me. Over the phone. No, no, no, no, no. There's a recording.

I'm listening to a recording. Of what? I feel like a therapist. How is she going to hear what's wrong with you if it's a fucking recording? That's what I'm saying. Every time they tell me it was wrong, I yell at them. So nobody can talk to me like that. So now this is telling me what's going on in life.

It's called respect versus love. That's my new therapist right now. You're so fucked up. You need a pre-therapist. Yes. Your therapist got to screen you. So now she's sitting there, stop it. What do you learn about that?

And I was like, okay, I can do better with this. I understand. So that's a little bit better than somebody telling me. But that's not therapy. Yeah. Because they're not working on your problems. Yeah. He's getting over on you.

This is the best thing for therapy. This is cheaper, way cheaper. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, hot dogs are cheaper than therapy, but it doesn't make them therapy, right? Like, hot dogs. Right? I like therapy better.

Say again? It takes an hour out of my day to talk about my feelings and shit. Yeah. But are you actually talking about it with you and Carla? Yeah, me and Carla talk about after the lady tell us what's going on but it came like a real person.

How much are you saving doing this? $100 an hour. I'm saving. She just got YouTube videos. I don't know what she'd get her from but she repressed the plate and I got to sit there and listen. Have you ever heard anybody?

And drink tea. And drink tea. Now, have you ever heard anybody say like I think you had drink tea was on the rocks? And then we started this audio book and then it completely saved us. Literally with that

love and verse and respect just now and said it. Really? Like I promise, literally the guy I was saying, it was like, yo, we was going to go to, this was their last step. It was going to, that Friday to go to get divorced. Are you talking about the book, Love and Respect? Is that what the shit is? There's a book

called Love and Respect. It's a Christian-based relationship book. Shout to my homie, L.J. He's the one that told me about this book, him and his wife. L.J. You're in the same boat. Luther Jackson. accent shouts, but is that what you're talking about?

I guess. You listen to an audio book about relationships? How does that help you, Wax? What the fuck you mean? Because I don't get fucking respected. What fuck you're talking about? It didn't speak of my language.

So I'd imagine showing up to therapy with that mask on. That's what I was going to do. You're not getting no advice, bro. You're not getting no advice. That person right didn't need help too. Yes. But that's the person who really needs help. Yeah.

That's what you don't understand. The problem is you don't think you need help. I don't. Exactly. Why you go out to fix this spot? Because I have to. Because you have to, exactly. Who said?

You don't even think that you need help, right? So that you're in there thinking that there's nothing that needs to be changed. So when this woman is telling you to change shit, you're like, change what? I'm perfect. Now you understand what I'm going through. But you think you're difficult. No. It makes sense.

Like if you really think about it, right? If you're going, let's say you're the fucking, you're Michael Jordan. Yeah. And you got a coach. I ever said. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah, practice.

Practice. You got to co-e exactly. Iverson, yeah. You got a coach saying you got to be a practice. You're like, motherfucker, I drop 30 a game. You tell these bombs practice. They're not dropping 30. I'm not here dropping 30.

No, I'm not with you. Right. So, now here's a question. Why do you think that you're so good at being in a relationship? Why do you think you're the Iverson of being in a relationship? What makes you so good at being a relationship? Because I think it's only so much you can do when it comes down to protect and providing. Protecting and providing.

and she has is like, what else a man's supposed to fucking do? You do protect the fuck out of. You protect her. Provide for her. So what the fuck else is the man supposed to do? Did y'all learn anything else the man supposed to do? Well,

yeah, it's supposed to be emotional and everything else. You hang out. You can enjoy your time together. Do you guys have conversations? About protecting the providing. Is there any,

you ever watch a movie together and be like, that was pretty cool. Protecting and provided. That's it. There's the only thing. If it's a movie watching, it's going to be like the Army movie and stuff. I'm like,

okay, I got to get those. I got those. I got to get those flashlights. I got to do this. It's like everything is based on to build me and build her. Things that she should hopefully have me watchers, things to build her. What's her job?

To make sure I could help. Be protected and be provided. No, help me help us. To protect the provide. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's her job. So her job is way less specific than yours.

Yours is two things, very specific. Wow. Hers is everything else. Just to make sure I'm able to help. Do you have to have sex? Do you have to have sex? Do you have sex? Is that part of your job?

Do you have to have sex? Oh, yes. Provide. Provide. Provide. Provide dick. Provide dick. I got to make sure at all times I'm ready.

Even if there's a time where you don't want to do it. That's what that mean for a man. Oh, I have that all the time. Like, me and my girl have that conversation. Like, you're able to say no? On the way back in the Uber? No, it's more like this. Like, yo, we fucking tonight?

And then we're like, nah. You're able to say that? Hell yeah. Can I ask you a question? Y'all never have a mutual now? You just had a big ass dinner dessert, you full as fuck, you exhausted.

That's, that's, I mean. It's never her going, oh my God, I want it so bad. I'm like, I can't. Then I got to go do it. I know what you said. We both be like, we're tired. Like, I'm not touch you. You'd be like, or nah, not tonight.

I'll be like, I ain't on my. I turn it. I go to sleep. Yeah, I'm not, I can't. I'm not turning my back on her, but we'll both look at each other like, we need to get it in. Should we do it tomorrow in the morning when we got energy? I ain't got time for the morning and tonight.

You can't do it in the morning. Oh, you're waking up with Charlotte. My rest of the day is fucked. Ah, you're fucked. The rest of the day, fuck. Wait, wait, if you're fucking the morning, the rest of your day is fucked? Dug. Why?

You can't defer the dick. You got it fucked when it's ready. Yo, I'm going to sleep. Oh, you, what? I'm tired. That's like your gasoline? Yeah. You only do one time, too?

Oh, Taylor, stop. Half a time. Oh, Taylor, stop. Taylor is a wild girl, man. What are you talking about? This is why you're single. This is why you're single. No.

You need too much dick. That's a lot. You need too much dick. I have a high-sex drive. One round is not going to be shit for me. You know, every time you say that, you're running man away. You're scaring them. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. If the one round is bombed. I'm scared. My girls listen to this right now. I'm terrified. Give me the mask. Put that shit on Taylor.

That was a man, baby. I was a dude talking shit. Don't believe none of this. Come on. You know, no good man is going more than one round. How do you have that kind of time? Get a job. That's not true.

Buy you something. Get a job. That's not true. That's a great point. Get a job. He got no job. If we're hanging out. Why are you not tired?

Why are he hanging out? Why he got that kind of time? Why are you not tired? Can I ask you a question? Just so we keep it a buck right here? Talk to me. One round ahead isn't enough for me. I need multiple rounds.

Ooh. Okay. All right. Okay. This girl is hard. We got started up like that. I really thought I had her. I thought I had her on the ropes, bro.

I said one round ahead is not enough. She was like, gulp. I lived in New York. York, you warm that shit up. But how y'all are talking, like, you talk to your partner about like, oh, we're going to have sex tonight? My actually is to get mad at me if I used to bring up like, you want to have sex. Yeah, so you might say it all the time. No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. No, I didn't. You would just be like. You'll be having sex and shit about. Yo, you want to fuck again? Yo, we should fuck after this, you know? This is kind of fun. I could do this all day.

And I'm like, man, I'm trying to get to fuck out of all day. Listen, spontaneous sex is great. Don't get me wrong. It is. But at the same. same time. We're older. We got responsibility.

We know we're going to be busy tomorrow. We got to get it in today. Boom, let's go. I know. I need to know if I got a shower. My eggs used to be upset over there. Listen, if you go on vacation, y'all know what time it is,

you ain't got shit to do all fucking day. He's the fuck all day. Just make sure you ain't got me nothing. If long as I'll fuck you all throughout the whole fucking day. I'll drive someone crazy. I'm surprised Carla's not pissed off at that shit. What do you mean? You just don't nut with her?

No, he does. If you want me to go all day, I'm just not going to do anything. I think he's a kid. Yeah, yeah, you'd be nothing, bro. No, no, no, I'm not going to nut doing these sessions. Like, I do a session, you good, and then I keep on, if you want to fuck all day. But if you want me, if I let loose on any one of those, I'm done.

I ain't got time. You're done for the day. You're a one nut per day guy. Yes. You know how much fucking nut come on and fill that fucking cut. Ew. It shit comes a lot. I'm going to be honest.

I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest. I'm trying to tell you. This shit's wild. Now, when you got that mask, was it all black? black. Is that your jerk off mask? Is that what you give your girl

this time? It's a little big on here. One shot hit you and then you duck the next one. Now that's crazy. I think we got to have more realistic expectations for sex. Yeah, you got to slow down. I think your day doesn't have enough structure. You need a more structure.

Is it done? Yeah, yeah. No, I'm going to get it. How about all the weekends, right? If I'm hanging out, just hanging out. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't have a sex. You don't have no friends to hang out with?

I do have friends hanging out. What about brunch? Brunch should count as sex one time. If we went to brunch together, we fun. How long is that sex session? That's the real question. Sex for me is anytime I pay for something or if I put my penis in. No, how long is it going? Huh?

How long is it going? Because I'm acquiring, when I say sex session, I'm talking about head, like all that, everything. Not just pumping. Every time? Yeah, I think, um. I just got woken up the head, not the longer. That shit was great. You got woken up.

up to head? Oh, dude, I'm not doing that. And he went down for 15 minutes. Guy doesn't make any real money. I'll tell you that right now. There's no way. No way. Don't be mad because he went down for 15 minutes.

You might have been down there for four hours. You have no fucking clue. You woke up before end of it. I didn't wake up to like we were, I was half up, whatever. And then you were half up or you were asleep. You said sleep. If you're snoring, farting and shit, he's down there. This, wow, that's dangerous.

Right? You're in a fucking splash. You don't know girls never even know when they're on their period. Like, oh my God, you knocked it on. What if he was down there? Your period came on that night. Don't you name when they blame us like God didn't make it every 28 days? You fucking girls.

Oh, you must have started it. Oh, did I? You know what's crazy? Oh, did I just start your body? Is that what happened? I'm a Mr. Lucky. I used to think that.

Oh, yeah, I did some. It was supposed to be two weeks from now that I just knocked it down. Oh, I guess. Yeah, yeah. He's pregnant by somebody else. Well, Wax, you want to tell what happened with you this past week? What happened with you, Wax? Yeah, I was, I have food poison, man.

From what? I went somewhere. I went on a date. You know, Julian Carlos is now starting out date night's shit. And my first date night, I ended up with food poison. Which day of the week? I try to do it like a Thursday, Friday. Oh, talk to me.

Why? Thursday, Friday, you compete with all the single people. What? That's literally with all the rights. Think about it, right? Thursday, Friday, you compete with all the single people, right? Saturday, you compete with single people. That's a lot.

Saturday night. It's nuts. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, nobody's going out to dinner. Reservations much easier to get, eat at the best restaurants. Wait, say what? I think about Mondays. Monday, I do Tuesday. But like, why am I going to be out with all these single people? Fuck all that. I don't want to be around that shenanigans. I want to have a nice. I'm not trying to meet nobody. I got the girl that I want to meet. Why is it matter if they're a pretty girl? You got a bunch of single dudes. Pretty girl. You got it's too much. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot going on. I like to be quiet. Like, we went to the movies a couple of

weeks ago. What move you see? Candyman? He probably fell asleep during that shit. You don't know. Baby, I went to sleep. What I'm saying? When I sit down, it's like, a ton of.

I knew it. I had a bunch of food. I knew it. You're boring, wags. Whatever. I can't finger you now. There's be too old for that shit. You know what I'm saying?

It's been using what the fuck to happen. Like, that's the, that's the reason. That? Now, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. This is Taylor. I need you to wait on this as well.

But how long would y'all wait on this as well? But how long would y'all wait in the movie before trying to finger your date. Back in the day? I was a fast finger. Second preview. No, this movie looks crazy. I already got my hand on the lap.

You stick your hand of the butter, popcorn. That's way, way back in the death. That's just what you, that's your first kiss. What? That's your first kiss. I remember the movie night fingering, bro. That was great. Has that ever happened?

Like, I ever tried to do that? to you during the movie? My boyfriend, but like not like... I mean, I hope. Not some fucking random guy and see 36. Can I say that? I'm not ambidextrous with my hands when it comes to finger. Like, I can't finger with my left hand.

Like, I've been like hooking up with girls on a bed, and they've been on like this side of me, and I've tried to do it, and it's almost like writing. I don't have enough dexterity in these fucking fingers. So I got to roll over them to the other side. So I can figure it with this end. So if I'm in the movies, you know, what is this? What's your finger?

But Liz, you play the notes, bro. Wait, what? I'm lost. When you finger a girl. What do you, you're just doing this? Yeah. You're just playing fur release on her vagina? I love what did that.

No, no, no, no, no. I didn't want to go this on fucking camera, but now you guys are making it happen. Yes, there's a little bit of that, right? But I can only do that with the right hand. Even right now with you guys, that's hard for me to do. Look at that. It looks sturdy. This one is not this.

He's got to practice. Now, you fluid would be better than sturdy, I assume, right? I'm right here. No, no, I got to go this one. But, blah, blah, blah. What? You're crazy, Tills. All I'm saying is, I only got one hand.

So if a girl was sitting to the left of me in the movie theater, she's not going to think of her. You're not getting a fair. You're a very respectable date if she's on the right seat. How fuck am I supposed to cross all? over my body, get down under the- Imagine asking how to switch two seats over. Hey, what do you want to? Hey, baby, can you actually sit?

She gets up to you as a bathroom and I switch the seat because I know what's going on. Has you ever got turned away by it? Like, she actually wants to watch the movie? No, I did. It was actually her friend. I tried to get two fingers in one night. Wait, like one on each side of you?

Yes. So I was, what? Coverers, I mean, like the jackets. I remember because I just got that jacket too. And she kept compliment my race jacket. It was a new race jacket we got. Okay. Yeah, well, you fin to finish, bitch.

Yeah, I was trying to finger both. And then what happened? She just grabbed my hand up under the jacket, up under the jacket. The jacket. And one girl said no, but the other girl was cool. She was already cool with it. I ended up kissing her under the night, though. Bill.

How long goes? It's all about the jackets. I probably was like eight. No, I was probably like 14, 15. Wow. My gosh. Yeah. Why?

I thought you were going to say like at least 20, not 14. You fingering in 20 years old? Yeah. God, I miss fingering. Wait, want to hold on. You got the fingering at 20? It was fun, dude. Hold on you don't finger at all even during head.

You don't figure after you start having sex? Yeah, I mean, it's like you can a little bit for warm up. But the thing about fingering is it like it was, I think it was so exciting when we're younger because it's like that's when it became. real the sexual interaction. Like you're making out with a girl, like you're grabbing parts. It's like you're kind of hooking up, but you're not hooking. You can do that while you're dancing.

Touching the butt was a thing too. Yeah, but like the finger was like, oh, we're going to have sex. Yeah, something about that happened. Yeah, like this is going to be real. It's very exciting. Like you open the can or something. Keep going on that. You get that little whiff.

Keep going on that. Once you get that little whiff, it's like, okay, I can eat this. Yeah. You get that whiff. That's that albacor. That's darkest. Yeah. Cracking open.

See how hard she's been dancing, too, baby. My girl not listening to it. Okay. Taylor, what else we got? Okay. You're about to say, like, all right. For shit, I mean, do you guys want to talk about the R. Kelly convicted or no? I mean, what do you think about R. Kelly?

So. That sounds great. All right. So that's how I feel like, yes, he should get what he deserves, whatever, 140 years, or how much he's getting. But at the same time. Don't do that. At the same time, like, and everyone's saying, oh, we got to cancel this music for real, for real, blah, blah, blah.

But, like, what are we going to dance to? At your wedding? What are we going to dance to, like, step your name of love? What's going to replace that? Frankie Lyman. Akash had an interesting point about this, though. Yeah, I believe he does not own his masters. So you can still listen to R. Kelly without giving any money back.

He doesn't own his master's at all? I believe not. I heard that once, and I didn't want to fact check it because I don't want to be wrong. And I just want to enjoy R. Kelly's music. But here's the tricky thing about R. Kelly's music. Yeah, right? I got let off the hook morally. R. Kelly wrote the music.

Yeah. Those old songs that, like, a composer would write and then you just have the most famous people of the time, sing them, like a Frank Sinatra would just sing the hits, etc. Like, I feel like you could still like that song no matter what because that person just sang it. They didn't write it. And if the meaning for you is like what the song is about, then you could probably

listen to it, you'd be okay. But R. Kelly wrote all this shit. And he meant it. And you're right, though, Akasha says. So who is, um, so who else is like in R. Kelly's shoes that we still listen to who did bad? Who did bad, 100% confirmation? Yes. All of them?

Not this bad? Hitler. Well, I mean, I don't listen to Hitler's hits, you know? I bet that she was good, though. I don't know. He'll talk about it, though. I don't know. I'm not listening to that shit.

I learned about fucking Hitler. Why the fuck I need to learn about him? But I don't think he was a musician. He was an artist. He was an artist. Who else? Like, who else is just as bad as R. Kelly, but we still watch his stuff? I mean, Woody Allen married his daughter.

Elvis. His wife's adopted daughter. Yeah. Which is close enough. It's still weird. It's very weird. Elvis Presley. His wife adopted daughter.

He married like a 13th. Hold on, one combo at a time. So the Woody Allen thing? No, it's not, yeah. It all depends on the age now. He was young. I mean, I think she was 19. When they met?

I think they met for the first time at 17, but they lived in separate homes, or maybe the first time they met she was 19 or something like that. And like, I'm not trying to cap for him. It's fucking weird, and he should know that it's weird and just not do it.

Even if that's the person you love more than anybody in the world, marry the second person you love more than anybody. Not everybody gets their first chance or first choice in life. So he'd marry his wife's, step daughter no her wife's adopted daughter yeah wow so wait he married his wife she had 17 year old adopted daughter at the time and then two years later he left his wife for this girl

I don't know the exact timeline of when he left yeah but I know that he wasn't apparently in her life it's as much as we assume I assume they all lived in one big house everybody's happy but the wife lived in a separate house he wasn't a father figure Say again. He looked like Chris like that. Oh, yeah. He looks a little like Chris.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't Chris marry an aging guy? Oh, Chris trying to run it back. The culture. Chris actually probably knows the details this. Hey, Chris, are you on with us? Yeah, but I'm not, I don't have anything to say about. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Yo, Chris, come on. Don't leave us hanging out here. You know what happened with Woody. Talk to it. Listen, if you want a better comparison to R. Kelly, I would. would suggest Jimmy Page, the guitarist for Led Zeppelin, who in his 50s was married to like a 17-year-old woman. Jerry Lee Lewis, the early rock star who married a 13-year-old Elvis.

Those are probably closer comparisons. What was her name? Priscilla? Priscilla Lee. Yeah, she was only, she was definitely a minor. I think he met her at like 14, apparently. Wouldn't have sex with her until she turned like 16 or something like that. Like, but yeah, that's fucking disgusting.

Yeah. Yeah. They're all monsters. I didn't know that what Jimmy Page, who married a 13 year old? Yeah, Jimmy, Jimmy Page was infamous for dating essentially teenagers. Yeah, these people are absolute creeps. Why won't you talk about the Woody Allen thing? Just out of curiosity.

Oh, no, I just heard you guys comparing. I didn't know what you're talking about. But I think you pretty much nailed the details of it. He, uh, it was Mia Farrow's adopted daughter. And they claim they didn't start having an intimate affair until after he had broken up with Mia. And he also claims that during the time he was technically her father or stepfather, they were living apart in separate houses, like you say. But I think you nailed it.

Even if this is the person you love the most in the world, marry the second one, right? Like there's just no scenario where it's kosher essentially to get in a relationship. It's also kind of arrogant to just assume. you should marry the person that you love the most in the world. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a lot of people who go, I love Beyonce the most in the world. Yeah,

but I don't get to marry Beyonce. That's a good point. Jay-Z marries Beyonce. So then you start going down the list until you get someone that you can have. And yeah, your wife's adopted daughter. You think she was upset? Who, the wife or the daughter?

The wife. I mean, yes, she, I think so. But to be clear, the big allegation, even more so than that against Woody Allen is he actually sexually abused his birth daughter when she was like one or two. And that's what's really the source of controversy, even more so than marrying his stepdaughter.

They investigated that a bunch. And like, I think even like the CIA or FBI or something like looked into it and they're like, nah, this is not, this is not legit. Yeah, there's a whole doc. I haven't watched it. But I mean, certainly you can go down that rabbit all. Yeah, that's the thing. It's got to be 100% if you're going to put that on.

Yeah, don't do that. And also I think like the Mia Farrell, the one. who his, his wife, like, I think three of her adopted kids ended up dying from either, like, suicide or drug overdose. Jesus. Why do they just do that with rich white women. That's just the thing. If you're a rich white woman, you just get to, yeah.

Rich white woman can get anything that want. This is the rule. Yeah. You didn't know how America was built? They put a woman on the coin. They did? Yeah. Yeah.

Susan B. Anthony. Oh, yeah. Never even knew that. He wasn't president. She was anything. She couldn't even have a job to get the coins, probably. She was sold a flag or something. You know what's like Betsy Ross?

That's Betsy Ross. At least she, you put her on the bill. Like, what was she doing to be on the money? Huh? I want to see the change. I got no change. No, it's on like the dollar. The dollar coin or something like that.

Yeah. But what did Susan B. Anthony do? Price fun, good. I don't even honestly think she deserves a middle initial. That's Susan Anthony. Anthony. She's a rights activist. Abolition, the rights of labor and equal pay for equal war.

Actually, that's kind of lit. Yeah. She won't fight you for people. First feminine. basically. Ah, bro. And now Wax sells masks made out of her. So this is a real problem.

All right. Shout to Susan B. Anthony. It's so crazy how they posed back in the day in the pictures. Right? Proper. Like, look how we pose now versus... Also, like, back in the day,

if you were painting me and my family, like the audacity of you to make it accurate. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. You piece of shit. Do some... Get some follow shot. It's going to lose forever. Like, they don't even know what I.

look like for real, for real? I don't pay you for accuracy. Yeah. You making my wife look like this so everybody knows I like these big chicks? Yeah. You know what I mean? Slim it up.

Yeah. Look how long you're in the museum. A little air brushing. That's it. Look how long you have to sit there and pose for pictures back in the day. Yeah. Hours.

Somebody sit there and draw you out the whole time. I'm a walking room back. Make me and my family look as beautiful as possible. And I'm going to help you do that by not being here. Yep. So you just pick some people that we should look like and that's it for history. Because that's all we know of old people, right?

Yeah. Like all we know about George Washington and shit is how he looked in that one picture. That's it. I got one idea of George White. He had a bad hair day. His shit wasn't curling sometimes. Yeah, for real. Right?

Like, imagine George Washington came back and he was telling people he's George Washington, but his perm was all fucked up. And you're like, man, that ain't you. Santa Claus. Santa Claus had a dope beer all these fucking years. Okay. So there was controversial stuff. happening on like the shade room and stuff where you know who Ari Fletcher is?

No, who's Ari Fletcher? Ari and Money Bagel. Do you know who that is? Yeah. I don't know about it. Okay. Well, that's the girlfriend of Money Bagelio, Ari Fletcher. She used to date you Herbo. I'm like nobody.

And basically he brought her or she brought him 28 acres. Oh, we should. I love this. It's dope. I think this is so cool. But did you see what the girls from the real said about it? No, what they said. Alex, this is the first link under shit you won't care about.

So who bought who? She bought him or he bought her? He bought him 28 acres of land in Memphis, which sounds great. And basically, they were trying to say that that's wifey duties and she's only a girlfriend. I don't believe that. That's a dope girl duty. Yeah. I mean, what a great.

Keep pushing the arrow and you'll see what they said. That's fine. That's her kind of coming back at her. And she made a good point. Should there be limits placed on gifts in your relationship when you are not married? Last year, last season, Lonnie and I were talking about don't act married if you're not married. This is acting married. That's a huge gift to someone that you're not even dating.

Yeah. I need to see the same energy when these girls are talking about buy me a burkin. Exactly. Like where's the same energy, right? Sweetie out here getting fucking. Girls get a burkin. You get jewelry. You get watches all these things.

Go ahead, girl. Get him. I'm not on hubby duty, right? Am I acting like a husband? We always do a husband duty, always. And can I be honest? This is what's annoying? Pay the bill?

Facts, bro. This is just annoying about these girls talking shit about this. We were talking about this on flagrant too, but this is like, this is a gift that can provide generational wealth. Exactly. And it is something that should be rewarded no matter what. Like, giving people an asset that's just going to grow in value. Come on, man. Like, what a cool gift.

God bless you, girl. It's a really cool gift. A car depreciates every single day. Every day. I used to think like that, though, not necessarily of her, but like, I think I used to think that there used to be wife duties and girlfriend duties. How are you going to be wife if you don't do wife duties? He's going to stay girlfriend forever. Does certain, no, you just got mad.

No, you got a guy's energy. If the guy's energy is not up to par, then I'm not going to do certain things. Yeah, but we can't assume that for him. We don't know how he treats them. Of course, I know, no, I'm saying, not based off them. I'm just saying for me, like, I used to not do certain things. Is there anything that a husband's supposed to not do? Because we do literally everything all the way throughout.

Nothing changes for us. We still take care of everything. thing throughout. Yep. Like, are you going to do anything different when you get married? No. No, I've been treating my girl like my wife. What the fuck?

I'm not going to do this? I don't treat her any different. What more can I do? Get yelled that shut up and lose. Once a week. That's not allowed. I'm going to therapy, I'll go to therapy.

I'm learning. That's why he wants to yell at his therapist just to get it back. I'm so stupid. You'll let me to lose again. That's my problem because I still fight. Yeah, we'll try to win the argument. You're bugging.

You do? I know. I know. I do. You're going to lose anyway. Dude, but I'm like that in life. Like, I just, you know. That's a bigger present, bro.

That's me. That's just fucking on. I've never understood married men who were like, pick your battles. And now I'm like, oh, I get. There's so many things. It's like, ah, this one, you can have this one. And then when it's worth a vegan, fucking go. Every battle.

It could be the littlest thing. Oh, my gosh. She's going to end up winning anyway. Oh, I know. But it's just, I don't know why. There's something in me that just compels to fucking argue. This happens all. If I see something that is like carmically off in the universe, I have to correct that.

Every single time. They learn. That's childish, yo. Yeah, I'm a child. That shit is childish. Yeah, I'm a fucking child. You got a fuck, you got a lot of fucking liquid. Because my mouth is too dry to do all that.

To do all the argument? Oh, I can argue all that. I love it. You got water next to you or something? Yeah, yeah. I got the white ship building up my fucking corner of my mouth. I don't care. I'm ready to roll.

Smoke coming out of my mouth. I'm ready to argue. She won. Say what? She won. No. She's like, let's talk. I say, you already won?

So whatever is. No, I don't, no, I think you got to, if you think that you're in the right, you got to, now, if I'm wrong, I'll say it. Me too. That's what we do. I'll say it right off the time. So then what are you arguing? Well, because she don't admit she's wrong. That's why you're asking. And then if you're going to not admit you're wrong for so long, now it's a thing. When you are wrong, I need to see it. It could be about the littlest, bro, bro, it could be, hey, you know, it could. It could, it could be it could be her saying, yeah, I turned, no, I turned off the light in the room already. And I go back in there, I'm like, the light's not off.

And she's like, oh, that's weird. I turn it off. And I'd be like, no, you didn't. Got to say you didn't. I need you to admit it. Oh, sometimes there's a problem with the system. It turns back on. Don't do that.

Oh, my God. I know you blame it on the system for no fucking reason. This is great. I need that. I need this. I need that. Because you know what? They make us own up to it.

I ain't got time for them own up to it. I ain't got time for that shit. I like an argument. You could, yeah, man. This is something that is not going away with age. It actually is increased with age. I like an argument. You know what I'm really good about?

In life, I like a fuck, dude. The other day I was at, we were at this place, Siddles, right? It's just like a fancy like bagel and like cream cheese and like lock spot. Okay? And I take my mom, my dad, and I take my girl. And we all go, right?

And they sit us at this table that's like right under the AC. And the AC is like blowing down my fucking head. head and neck. And I asked the guy, I'm like, hey, man, can we switch tables? The AC is blowing down. And the guy, the waiter, like, kind of like rolls his eyes. And I look and I'm like, are you telling me at a Jewish restaurant, nobody's ever switched the fucking table that they were put down here? Like, you should be the most aware of this, right? I think you sat us at this fucking table because you think that I'm not Jewish and you think you can sit us under the AC. So I move it and I swear to got all the other Jewish people around. They look at me and they're like,

good for you. You stood up for yourself. Good for you. Nobody sits at that table. They were so proud that I actually moved my... Like, I protected my family. Like, I took care of that I protected. But I like the argument.

But you know what I'm mad at that you don't sound like me and I can put you on the phone and you go ahead and do all the argument? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, on the phone, you can do it. But in person, it looks more intimidated. I love as I get older walking away from an argument.

Like, when they're pissed off, she's mad and I'm like, yeah, we're not doing this. And then I just walk. golf and just leave a minute. You can do that too? What the fuck? Oh, it's a bigger fight later. But I'm fine with that.

Because in the moment, you just sit in your anger. Sometimes it'll level off. Most of time, no. But it's like, I'm not doing this. I can't matter of fact, if I start a fight and then we get into a fight and then she's still upset after we've resolved the fight, we're going to fight about that. Fuck you upset about.

We just resolved it. I said sorry. I took accountability. I apologize. I was cranky. That's on me. Now, you cranky. I'm getting the fuck out of it if I can. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What hell? I need to go. The fuck is wrong. I need to go. Shout to, yeah. You got a little.

You got a lick in his mouth. Yo, this is what I need for my arguments for my girl. Just an energy drink. Do you think you do that too, though? Could you find maybe like content for your jokes and stuff or that? Like the argument? Not even, man.

Not even. Not even. I don't think you go through life looking for content. Yeah, that's joy. Okay. One of the nice things about being a comic is when something horrible happens to you, you go, oh, at least this can be material. But you're not going through life looking for horrible.

At least not for me. Yeah. But like when something incredibly embarrassing happens, you're like, oh, this is going to be good. This is going to be good. Yeah. I don't know. I can't believe you don't get into an argument. I can't take it.

I hate arguing. Because she's going to win anyways, like, you know, that's like playing against somebody. and you're in a wheelchair and against basketball. Is it because... You know you guarantee going to lose? Is it because maybe he's the only one with the white significant other? Oh, that's what I think it is.

I mean, I'm going up against a fucking battle axe dog. Like, I don't want this. I don't want this yelling, bro. A tourist Puerto Rican. It's too much, yo. A turrets, Puerto R-E-S. Yes. Yes.

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income and certain other information provided in your loan application. Upstart.com slash idiots. Now let's get back to the show. All right. Did you hear by Will Smith? What happened, Will Smith? He came out and said that he cheated too. No way.

After though, right? The timeline is important. It's after. You're after. It's after, but they said that. You're not going to get no memes. He said that he was thinking about hooking that way. Your girl fucks around on you.

Everybody finds out. Then you got to be like, well, we all do it. I did it. She probably made him do that too. Jay, are rotten, yo. He said that he was thinking about going with Hallie Berry, like, doing. He should have. All right.

Me too. Yeah. What the fuck he was at there saying? It's not entanglement. What does that even mean? Thinking. Yeah, I've been thinking a lot. You been thinking about that shit?

I've been thinking about fucking Marilyn Monroe. Too bad she's dead. But I was thinking about it. It was not even mean. How are you threatening your girl like that? Girl, I've been thinking, yo. I'll go over there. I go fuck Rihanna right now.

Yeah. Okay. I heard he fucked Margo Robbie though. Word? Yeah, that's what I heard. Business out there? I heard that's the thing,

yeah, man. Yo, that August shit must have really fucked him up for him to be going out there. 100%, dog. He got fat. Yeah. Remember?

Yeah. The pandemic. All right. All right. How is any famous person's life? Pandemic is a cheating-ass wife. That's the pandemic. That's really what it is.

Your life as a rich person ain't any different in the pandemic, right? You stay in your house, private. Your house is huge. Compound and Calabas's personal trainer Chef.

Backyard crazy. Yo, famous people to get fat, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. You lazy pieces of shit. You have every opportunity not to get fat. You have a private chef and workout trainer.

You just gave up? Yeah, you're right. You have no excuse. Maybe they don't like to work out though. Yeah, fuck you. Will Smith loves working out. Will Smith will die on a treadmill. Those are his words.

I will die on a treadmill. I will like to swim. Yes, he will. Now. Don't put that bitch up above six. Yeah. Now, I mean, I listen, Will Smith is the fucking king, bro. I love Will.

Like, he's the goddamn man. It just sucks that they even got to be open about their relationship. Like, this really, this is hurtful. It is all her full. It is her full. And the fact that he has to do damage control for her, get the fuck. I'm Will Smith. I'm the famous.

Why do you think that she's famous too? She's sloppy. She's not famous like him. No fucking change. She's famous like him. Of course. No, of course. I'm not saying.

Yes, she's famous. She's famous. She's Will Smith's wife. That's why she's famous. Are you really watching Woo? You really watched Wool? I didn't. You watched Hawthorne on TNT?

Hold on. What is Jada done for Will? We know what Will. Take care of them. No, you're not about to do that to J-D-A-O. Take care of the house. Turn her head when he

have sex with other woman for years. She don't got to turn her head. It's already sucking on another man. Yeah. Oh, my God. She turned her head. I'll hit first. August, see what the fuck you don't did?

This guy can't eat a whole, you gotta name a fuck a guy named after a month. Now this guy spends a whole month pissed off. He's just waiting for September? A great month. A great month. You know what's in the worst? It's his birthday in August.

Oh my God, yo. No, that's crazy, though. But listen, for real, if your girl and your wife cheat on you, what the hell do you do? Wait, what is that? Will must got, like, some, he's so strong to be able to stay. around. Your wife's cheat on you. What the fuck?

Yo, he's the king, bro. I love him. No, but they said, look, they said in the interview that they can't be in like a prison in their marriage. So she never won a convention. She was unconventional with marriage. Like, she didn't really want to get married. Man, cut all that out, yeah. But you got mad. No, but she had said that in the

past, though. She said that in the past. What's unconditional, not having sex with somebody else? You know what's unconventional? Get into Mary Will Smith. You got your unconventional marriage. You married the greatest man in America. That's not conventional. He ran a Marathon. Yeah, sure.

A lot of people do that. That's not the most impressive thing. This guy used to save the earth every summer. Every summer, this motherfucker saves the world. Literally is a superman. Like, come on, though. Okay, and guess what? She was, she knows how to like, you know, hold guns.

You can't even name a movie. You can't. Hello, send it off. That's like one of my favorite movies. Oh, she was one of the four leads and said it off. And she made it. Hula. All the other friends passed away.

That's the writer, bro. You're talking about the ending of the movie. That makes her a star. Duh. Why you think she survived? Was she in poetic justice? Yeah. Yes.

Will Smith was already her husband. The Tupac. No, Will Smith was already her husband. That was when she was with Tupac. The only man she ever loved. Yo. I hate you. And she's on a girl's trip.

Yo, imagine. That didn't help. That didn't help. She was friends with the girl that fucked Tupac in the postal truck. Right? No. No, her father was a lot. She had Jackson, are you talking about?

She wasn't on. Oh, Janet Jackson was poetic. She wasn't even putting. She was Jason's lyric. Kid out in here, dude. She was poetic. She was a lyric. But, but yeah, let's just keep it up.

Will is, this is why this is so hard for us to, like, settle this equation. Because we see Will as this massively successful actor, superhero, just superstar. We don't think that he has to sacrifice in a, way that his wife is out there banging other We think a guy of that stature should be able if he wants to, not saying it's right or wrong, but he should be able to have five wives that are all faithful to him,

period, that's successful. And now he's decided to marry this girl and spend his life with this girl who is objectively speaking less successful than him. Yeah. And he still got to allow her to fuck other dudes. Ouch. That seems unfair. In our brains, it seems unfair.

but maybe they have something. I would say, I feel like they had, they've been had open marriages. And, like, I was listening to her red tape which are like old ones.

Oh, you mean her damage control? Go ahead. Sorry. That shit is all PR though. It drives me crazy, but go ahead. I enjoy them.

So, go, go, go, go. You're allowed to. So, um, and she was saying how, like,

y'all think about Will Smith being so successful, but what about his personality? She was saying that he was controlling, not necessarily controlling, but like, he was trying to make too much perfect instead of just kind of,

Yeah, real monster. Sounds like a real monster. Oh, my God. Listen, don't you know if you're that successful, you expect you to be able to have something for yourself. I would be there to have my own car, my own house, my own wife. He's a Virgo, man. They're very hard to do.

He's a Virgo too. His kids do whatever the fuck they want, right? Come on. Like, you can't be a controlling parent and then your kids are that fluid and like dress whatever they want. Dude, like, a controlling parent is like, this is your haircut. This is how you dress. This is the school you go to.

Like, this is the life that you're going to live. Like, my parents weren't controlling at all. they were way more controlling than that. My dad's not let me walk around dressed like that. You out of your mind? I couldn't even play football. Come on, though. You think the Will Smith's control.

You're talking about a father. I'm talking about as a husband. Also, is it controlling to say you can't have dicks inside you that aren't mine? No, that's not what she's saying. That's the only problem. That's what we hear it. Oh, my God. If that's controlling, I'm a controller.

I'm a tire. I'm a really a control freak. What the fuck? You know, you know, oh boy, what's the guy with the B? in his hair, the rapper. Lou Yadi. He said you're a child if you want to know

if what should girls count. You are. I'm a child of God. For sure. You're in your bucket. I want to know what the hell. You want to know how many bodies? You want to know. If you go to a car, you want to know how many car effects? I don't want to know. You don't want know the car effects. If I, no, because if I already love the car, don't tell me how many motherfuckers wrote it. I love it. What if it was our Uber? Say what?

Well, if it's an Uber. And then you finally wondering why it's breaking down like, damn, but I knew this, I see in 10 miles the shit was going to break down and have problems. But I love it. I love it this. And all that type of energy shit. You got it from all the different type of people. It's going to be all in you too.

Yeah. I know. It's fucked up. That smell that gum under the seat from the third person. The nut stain from number six. You know what I'm saying? The fucking, the Bird King spill on the floor that they never got. Sign up.

I like how he went from metaphor to the real thing. He's like, the gum under the seat. You're like, I know what that is. He goes, and then the nuts stain. Okay. We're being literal too. Back to Burger King. No, I hear what you're saying.

I think that makes complete sense. But my feeling with relationships is ignorance is bliss. Like, don't, I don't want to know nothing about your past before me. And I don't want to tell you anything about mine because I know it's just going to create conflict. You think, why would she still be upset? My girl wants to know how many bodies I got. And I'm like, no, you're not having that conversation.

How would a man know? Yeah, I got to count that. A man, I supposed to know. A man is supposed to know. No. How many bodies she got? Oh, absolutely. That's not sure.

That's what I'm saying. And man, also, if a guy goes, I don't want to know, we're really saying, we really want you to go, it's not even that many. And then we go, all right, how many? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know. We got a baby. It's like, I don't want to know.

And then they go, like, I can count. on one hand. Be like, alright, I think she said some shit like good. You'd be like, hey,

what are you doing good? So you don't think the stuff that they're doing to you, like during sex they didn't learn from someone else, another guy?

No. It's okay, but not 50. One other guy. One other guy. One guy who was really good at sex. Yeah.

He taught her all the moods. He's hoping he's not wax. Timblein's on her? I do. No, it's, it's fucked. It's vulnerable I see for a girl

because like, I remember I dated a girl once and then she said, she said what she wanted to do is what is it called when somebody watches you? She wanted, she was like, I want you to watch me get fucked by someone. That's awesome.

She said that to you? Which is super disrespectful that you were, like, you were even comfortable enough to say that to me. Like, why would you think I was gonna be like, no, me too. You don't. I just get to sit here

and if you don't need a towel or water or something Did I just go out? No, like, you are the one that's supposed to say that. Say what? No, that's kind of disrespectful. You say that to her, too. I'm not saying that to her. That's a way more disrespectful to nobody.

But it was crazy. Like, she was saying it. I was like, wait, wait, wait, man. Hold on. Like, the way she said it, it was like, I want to do like a threesome. Like, two guys, like, and then me or something like that. And I'm like, I'm like, wait. Did you get that wrong?

Like, I literally. Yeah, I was like, hold on. Wait, what do you mean by you mean like two girls and then? because I'm like, why would you be saying this to me? Right? Like, I was so confused. I couldn't believe that you would be this crazy and disrespectful. So I was like, you had two girls.

So I was getting hype. I was like, did this girl just say her dream is a three? I'm dead it. Me too. I'm down. Shorty goes, no, no, no, like two guys are like, like, you could watch me have sex with a guy. And I was like, yo, yo, yo, yo.

What is happening? Like, what happened before this to make you feel comfortable? You did something to make her thing. It was okay. You did something to make it this guy would want to watch me get fucked. You need to retrace your own steps that night. I started racking my brain.

I was like, what the fuck? Well, last time you nutted early since that happened. I don't know, but maybe I was listening too much. I think there's something, there's some imbalance in the relationship where she got so comfortable. She was like, yo, you should watch another guy fuck me. And then she looked at me as if I was about to be like,

I. Like, she wasn't even embarrassed. Wait, hold. How long were you all together before she told me? No, we weren't together. we were just fucking around or whatever. Oh, so then that's memory.

How trash is your dick game? Yeah. Like, I just finished fucking you. She's like, my dream is someone else fucks me. Like, come on. And you take notes in the corner. That's not. That's crazy disrespectful, yo.

How do you have disrespect me like that? Right? Dumbass girl? That's even funny. That's fucking, now that I say to front of y'all. That's tragic. I didn't know you just finished fucking. Yo, I literally just finished fucking.

I'm the man, so I'm still looking myself in the mirror. I got the mirror attached to the fucking closet. I'm like, yo, you boy, you're killing it. And she's like... After sex, he said that? Yeah, probably. That's bad. Yeah.

Yeah. She probably still in the mood, though, a little horny move, big girls say anything. No. No, I'm not going to say that. Trying to help you out. I know you were. I know you were, bro. I guess I didn't lay it down, man.

Fuck. Maybe it was so intimate that she really thought she could share everything. I think I even said that shit. I think I looked at it. I was just like, why would you say that to me? I was just so confused. Can you count all your times it was like real good

or you count your worst times ever in life? What? In sex? Yeah. Can you count your good? I can't count good or bad. I can't count good or bad. I definitely can't count bad.

That shit is innumerable. I'm trying to think of like really bad ones. Like I've had like hilariously bad. Yeah, I have a hilarious that way. Like, yeah, I had one. I have one where, yeah. I need to go. Yes, go.

Oh, man. This girl, it was this, it was this bomb as Brazilian girl, bro. I was young. I was, like, in college, like, fire as Brazilian chick. Like, and this is when you're younger and I hadn't slept with a Brazilian girl. You just know about, like, the Brazilian models from Victoria's Secret.

So, like, you already add two points onto a Brazilian. Like, if you got a Brazilian, you're like, ah, I got to do it. And we started funging. And I, you know, I nutted so fast, right? That I just kept fucking, like, the nut is in the condom. I kept fucking, I started getting soft.

I pulled out, no con. The condom is just in the pussy still. So I had to be like, oh, I left something. And I had to go back in there. Oh, my God, you. Pull the condom out. That's embarrassing. The wrong size.

Say what? Said the wrong size. What do you mean, the condom? Yeah. It's always the wrong size when you soft. It. Insect. He's sick.

Thank you. You say so. You know, shit up, Wax. A little fucking soft economist. A turnicant on your soft dick. Fuck out of here, Wax.

I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm to say. You know what I'm to say. You're crazy, though. Y'all never had girls with tight pussies before? Taylor about to ask you to watch her fuck her boyfriend. You know, have had girls with tight pussies before? Yeah.

Oh, it pulled the suction off. Yeah. Oh. What do you think happened? I thought you fell off. You never. had a girl like say I snatched condoms off?

You never? She said she snatched condoms off. This is like a girl's bragging line. Like, I can snatch it off. Oh, Kikos, Kikos. Kegels. Yeah, Kegels. Now it's flip. No, no. No. Now the girl's

pushes so strong and they're pulling the condoms off. Yeah. What? That can happen? If it's tight or, no, most of the time you have the wrong side. No. How about to say, what's up a fucking Kikos girl's girl? No, but it is, I mean, it's possible.

So you're telling me the girl pussy can do this. Let me tell you this. If I am soft inside a girl and I have a condom on and she wants to squeeze her pussy, she can take her condom right the fuck off. All right, but there's no question. Or you guys haven't been with tight pussy before. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you.

But if a girl can't take a condom off your soft dick, I don't know what to tell you all, but. You really try to change in a rat. Well, you must have to tell you. got a lot of girls who work out. Nah, just a Brazilian one. Okay, Kikles. I would never find out about

Kikles now. Okay, now y'all just fucking made me feel horrible. Remember I was telling you about comedy and horrible things that happened to end up becoming funny things and everybody gets a laugh at you for? Can I ask you about, like, when you get embarrassed or sex, do you, like, apologize to the girl, like, I'm sorry, sis.

She said it when, like, it happens all the time. She's great. Charlemagne, come back. But we, listen, we all have seasons, I promise you. Because I go to my season. I'm not early. Like, everybody not all year round, you just every single time, like you're the man. Out of a year, I probably give you, say if you have sex 100 times, 20, that.

13 times Not early. This is the fucked up thing about Not of 100. Notting early is... The Baker doesn't. Yeah. The only thing about

nutting early is just it's not an amount of time. It's just an amount of time before you nutting. Yes. That's the thing that's fucked up. About early. It's like if you come,

it's never early. See what I'm saying? Nah, if you nutted like a couple of pumps, like I had them type of shit like... No, no. But if the girl, The girl comes and then you come after her

is never nutting early. Oh, it's cool, but how are you going get that to happen? You won't have sex for longer, for sure, but it's never considered nutting early. You define what is coming too fast. Like, if we fuck for 30 minutes and you don't come and I come, I still nut at early. That's different. Not 30 minutes. I'm talking about like within... You're you satisfied.

I've had sex and it lasted for probably two minutes. And don't you feel good about yourself? No, granted, that's both nice. But at the same time, it happens all the time. It's like the fuck. Isn't it worse if you fucking for an hour all the time and he won't nut? An hour is... He just can't nut. What would you rather?

A guy who nuts two minutes and you got the best pussy in the whole world? Or a guy is an hour. He's just fucking you. But look, I'm going to say, if you nut, you're not early, you better eat her out then or something. Not after you're nut. Yes. That seems wild. No, no.

I can't even do anything after. Is that backwards? Yeah. That's like I having a peanut butter and jelly outside of sandwich. What? Right? It'd be messy as hell, right? Oh, my God.

Yeah, that was the best world wax. Good job. I don't know. It seems like not right. I wouldn't want that. You don't eat her out after nothing? Like, if you didn't, if you didn't do your part, you want to, no, she's got to deal with it? Eat out my wife.

Yo. Yo, y'all are crazy, bro. Come on, yo. I ain't paying attention in life. Come on. Interesting. You wouldn't know. You're going to be married one day.

You're going to be like, what the fuck are we doing this for? Yeah. What, sex? No, all the foreplay, that kind of shit. My love language is touched. Like, I need that. All right. Fine.

All right. Once you love, you don't need that no more. Exactly. Once you get married, you love. That ring does. something to your finger. It goes into your arm into your heart. That's why they make the rain outside. You're going to be sitting there like, man, I really want my pussy lick. Then you're going to see a ring like, do I?

I'm pretty sure. You think? The only thing, I'm going to look at my ring, but like, yeah, I want him to see my head on my hand on with his head while he's eating out. This girl's a fucking animal, just a sad. She needs a prayer. Stop objectifying us, man, you know. We're just out here trying to satisfy you, okay? All right, guys, we need to take a break for a second because I know what you got. You got a music subscription, right? Of course you do. At home fitness subscription, yes, definitely. Food delivery subscription, you don't have, but you should because it's a thing. Time to try DashPass by DoorDash

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so I could get off y'all laughing at me for having a fucking kind of fall off. Well, censor. He thought, anybody was going to be like, me too. Yeah. I thought yeah, I did think that. It popped and went this way. I think it. Yes.

Okay. Well, what did you guys think about Did he dating Bow Wow's baby mom? You said who? Did he dating Bow Wow's baby mom? Bow Wow got an impressive roster, yo. Yeah, he does. Yeah, like, that guy got a good of his girls.

He's been broke for decades. I don't know how much money he got. Why do you think he's broke? That's the way you always read these articles about these rappers that are broke and then Bow Wow flexing like he got the private jet and he's in fucking coach. He does like to lie about that. There's a whole Bow Wow child. I know, but...

It's probably why he got his money because he's in coach. Ooh. I'm the ones who save all that money. That's interesting. And he has been on TV or film for years. I'm hosting 106 and part. Let me tell you,

if you're a little bow-wow and you find yourself hosting 106 in part, something went wrong. He used to call himself Mr. 106 in part because he used to have the top videos. Yeah, yeah. And then you go host that money. The video to host is not the right.

Yeah. Can you imagine if fucking instinct started hosting total request? You'd be like, something fucked up happened. Well, one of them is hosting like Love Island. There you go. He ain't doing great.

I mean... What was the topic? Diddy's fucking his baby mom. Did he and Bauer are friends. He like just came from... Well, not just came from, but you know, Bao used to party with Diddy and everything else. You get successful.

I don't know. Maybe BOWS feels his way. His girls... He said he had to talk with him. Yeah, but like, I don't know. I think you reach a certain level of success. Like a lot of these guys reach a certain level of success. And then like, they don't have as fragile egos as the average person.

No, you know you got to pass along. They all pass along. We had a group of girls. They know they're going to be passed along. They don't mind getting that's what I was saying last week. The knee jerk reaction that Taylor feels right now, I think the average person feels, right? Because their ego is tied into their partner so much.

Like the partner's reflection of them and there's like this ownership and almost like property type feeling. No, but no, it's more so their friends though. Like, why are? We don't know that. They are. But even it is the girl, they know these girls going to be pass along. He probably got her for a couple of months and then he gets passed along to the next one. That's just how it is.

It's okay. There's no way. of these other girls, I cannot get mad at none of the guys that I know there were any of the other girls that I did. So, like, how did he mess with his son's ex-girlfriend? He knew as a pass-along. He knew why he had that girl there. That girl knew why she was there. She's like, I'm having him for a couple weeks. Also, if you're Diddy's son, he gave you everything. He can't take one thing. Come on. Provided for you a lot. That's only 10 toes and 10 fingers. You don't think that's like kind of this, like your dad just. Also, that's a compliment. Like,

Diddy's taking your old world? If you were Diddy's son and he took. the girl that like you were dating. Say you actually have feelings for her. My dad smash any one of my girls. No, I'm not talking about your mom. Shut up. I'm talking about Lori.

What? He said if my dad smash any of my girls, that'd be dope. And then I think you said, shut up, Wax. Him saying to you. My dad probably came to boy, shut the fuck. Your mama hear you.

You want to care if your dad smash? Yes, I will. He's back to my mom. But outside of that, you wouldn't care. If my dad wasn't married to my mom and when I tried to get my dad some pussy, probably, is this and that what everybody like? It's like one of bottle wine. If you got a share of liquids and shit like that, that's basically into. Who's sharing liquid?

Y'all are haters, man. So hold on. So you nut, it shoots off. No. That's disrespectful. That's disrespectful. Now you're disrespectful. Like, that's, you're like, yo, watch this trick.

And you're not. You nut. Okay. Okay. You nut in the condom. The condom fills with cum. Okay. Okay.

So now there's liquid on the inside of the condom. So now the inside of the condom can move around very easily. All right. Okay. Now you start to get soft. This girl is still riding, grind, and squeezing, right? I'm just getting soft. So it gets smaller this way?

My dick gets smaller because it's soft. My dick is bigger when it's hard than when it's soft. I didn't know it gets smaller this way. It gets smaller in every way. This way. It gets smaller in every way when it's soft. When it gets soft, it's smaller in every way. Yeah, I guess so.

Your dick is the same size? No, no, no. I've never used a condom, but that makes perfect sense. You having the same girth dick erect and soft, that seems, that is weird. That's kind of crazy. Your dick doesn't get small. I didn't tell them. I didn't say anything.

Take a dick out right now. Your dick just raises up like the cat hand in the fucking Chinese food spot. It's the same. It's the exact. exact same size. I've just saying, for it, you make it seem like it was like this. Wax, you were really bodying him earlier, and now you're the one looking weird. You ready?

Here it is. Mario, Mario eats a mushroom. Mario hits one of the Cooper troopers, whatever like that. Little Mario again. That's it. But you're making it seem like, it's like, hold on. Let me help you out. Man, what the fuck I got in my pocket?

What? You're making it seem like it goes. From like this. Yeah. To like this. What? Like it gets, you have to use the same thing.

Yeah, exactly. Like, what do you do? Okay, so you make it see like this, the make it is like this. Baseball bat to wiffle ball bat. Right. Yeah. All right.

Baseball bat to wiffle ball bat. And now you have liquid on the inside of the condom. So the condom is moving around. Exactly. Before, like, like, you know how you like don't know how to put on a condom? where you don't squeeze the top of it. You know what I'm saying? And then the shit can just, like, go down and, like, morph.

Your head goes into the fucking thing. You know what I'm talking about? You got to squeeze the top or else you just rip through the fucking condom. Yes. So I feel like I'm talking to someone who's never used a condom. I know you haven't. That's how you do.

You never used to? Oh, wait. You never used a condom for it? No, my wife and I were each other's first. So why would we be gay? Shut up. No, for real. Yeah, for real.

Like, he's the man. Yeah, he did it right. That's so sweet. He is really the man. That's why I judge you so much. I say to you. I say to you, because I know this guy does not know how to use condoms. Right.

I do. What are you talking about? Yeah, my shit stays on, Elise. Does it? How many kids do you have? How many kids do I have? I just wasn't using them at that. But I know how to fucking put them shit on.

I put this shit on. It's a little different, but I hear what you say. How do you put it on? How do you put it on the right way? You just got to, just like you say, a hole right there. What? What are you doing? What the fuck?

It looked like you were peeling a banana. Alex, you don't got a kind of on you? No. Damn, I want to see. No, we need to say it's on a collar. Yeah. Not on your penis on something. Oh, not on our cautious penis.

I'm a whole fiancy out here. My girl going to kill me. But just like, you know, I don't know what that movie. I don't know what that is. What are you doing? It's not a banana. Oh, wait, he's trying to say it. What are you trying to say?

What are you talking about? Because you're doing this. I just don't know what that is. Al? I don't know what's going on. What you mean? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Are you talking about a banana? Because that's what they're peeling. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I say. This is the same guy who catches his shit in his hand before. Maybe all his tactics are off. That's upset.

He said, I was feeling really bad. about myself earlier and now I'm fucking redeemed 100%. This is great. Show me how to put a condom. It's probably not the same person who showed you how to put a condom on. Yeah, that is a fact. That's all it is. Now, did they show you how to put the condom on with a condom? Because I don't know what it goes like this.

In the condom. Did you just watch a chimpanzee eating a banana? I think it's going on. I said you just fucking put the shit on. You got to hold it and put it on. But you're doing this. Like, why? It doesn't make any sense.

You hold it top. I put it on a long time. You hold the top and then you roll it down. How the fuck you roll it? Wait, what? Oh my God. You're not using condoms, son. I used it a lot of time.

This guy really not using condoms, bro. No, no, no, no. This is crazy. Yeah, I said they have one way because. You're not using comments, though. I honestly believe right now you've been stinking bananas into your dick. I think you've been using them like a, like, Like a fucking plug for the bathtub and you just stick it in.

Maybe I'm wrong. What? I'm trying to figure out what this, like why are you doing twice? Listen, how do you wipe your stuff? I bet you're probably different than mine. Yes, it's different. Absolutely. Some people.

Open up the condom packet. Take out the condo. Right? Open up the condom packet. Take out the condom. The circle thing. Pins the top. Right?

Put it over your dick. Roll it down your dick. Okay. That's it, right? You can go to health? Do you got a shaft? You can pinch the top. Do we got a shaft?

So the sperm as a place to go. And if you don't do that, then it's going to break much. Oh, okay. I know. All right. Yeah, you don't want it too tight. And you don't have to know that because it's not for you to know. Yeah.

But don't you guys learn this? But you guys didn't learn this in health class? We did. We did. My health class did. You know what? They were probably putting condoms on bananas in health class. And I think after that he's just like, I think you could just use the banana.

I think. I think the banana is doing most of the heavy lifting here. I think Wax saw that first step when they peel the banana and he just was like, ah, I got to peel the condom. I did that every time did. I've got to be. This is one of the greatest comebacks I've ever seen. It also was down big. I was down so big.

Big in the first half. I was down so fast. Honestly, if you're lying to get me out of this, I really appreciate it. You're one of the best friends that I've never. I'm telling you. Let me see. Let me show you something. This is 3-1, LeBron and the Warriors kind of stuff right here.

There we go. All right. Oh, my God. All right, go. All right, go. All right, let's see you. Let's see you. That was actually a pretty impressive catch one hand.

Yeah. Do we have anything he can put it on? No, no, before you do it. Put on this kid. Put on, yeah, put on that. Yeah, put on that. Before you do it, before you do it, I just want to let you know. Show the guys.

Show the guys how you put on a condom. Yeah, just so. Yeah. Mime it. Mime it. I'm a fiance. I don't even know if this is okay. You never ask her.

Okay. Go. All right. So you... Is she been okay when you put it on a condom like this? You got boom, boom. And you pull it down. What is...

What is this and this? Chifty is that, yeah, again. Roll it out? They unroll it. We got to pull it. Watch this. Mark, have you used condoms? Your girl before you once?

Did you... I didn't think I was in there. That makes you seem like it's adjustable. You go like this, right? Okay. Oh, no, you got like this side. Okay. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you put it like this, right? Yeah, yeah. Again, like I said, you gotta do this. All we over. Oh, shit. No. You gotta do it over-

Cap. Cat, cat. Cat, because doing this on one side would never allow the other side to just stay there. It's easier to roll it on both sides. How do you're gonna roll it? What do you mean? You're gonna do it now.

Hold it like this and just go like that and roll it down. There's no way you rolling this like this. You gotta put it. over the motherfucker. Nah, it's a cat, bro. You are, you're lying, bro. You never know.

It don't work. Look at him trying to do it. And your dickhead's not bigger than that little silver thing? But you got to squeeze this shit not squeezing. You can't squeeze this. Go like this and just roll it.

Watch. Go like this and just roll. Stop it. Stop it. If the club don't fit, it wants to click. All right, let me see. Let me show you.

This is hilarious. Watch this. Ready? Go ahead. One, two, three, go. Ready? Come on, come on. Come on.

No, not. Yeah, good job. Hold on. There we go. You bullshit with life. Look at you can't even do it. There it is. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

You cheated. You cheat. There it is. There it is. First of all, first of all, what size condom is this? What? What size condom is?

Okay, all right. Let's say, like. What do you mean? What do you mean? What did you mean? What did what's wrong with that? You're not fucking nobody He didn't roll it all the way down

Talking about Taylor That's why you lost the race Shut that hell off So that's what it is Okay And if you got a tight pussy Brazilian Then that shit just comes off Oh

Whoa Lo Lo Lo La Exactly Exactly Exactly Adam Adam

God right back Anna Anna You got me on the rope. You got me on a rope. That's off. It's off. See?

It's off. I must have unscrewed my dick cat. One sentence too many, dog. One sentence too many. I was out. You had it. You had it. I was out.

You had it. How you were doing it though? How long does it take you put a condoing? It took you mad long. It really don't. It's like you got to hold it, but doesn't it explain a lot now? Yes. You can't squeeze that right there.

You can squeeze it and just and put it on. What are you talking about? Listen. I'm in a fiance. What else we got? All right. Do you guys?

Do you guys? Church announcements and then... Oh shit. Church announcements. Yo. Wax. Hit them. Yes.

I got the who's wax. Dot net. Go to there. Go to get your mask from the Who's Wax paintball. You go ahead and sign up over there. I got the gun range over there that would be out there really soon.

We got bullying the beast on Wednesday. I want you all to go ahead and tell this. This week's mad funny. Me and Luriel out there talking shit. I'm always in trouble. And, you know, oh, whatever she says is back. And those gummies, who's wax.net, man?

We got the gummies and we got the lemonade. Go ahead and go grab that stuff, man. This marijuana game is actually doing good. I'm in 36 stores in L.A. Hell yeah. Let's go. Drop next week that's coming. So, you know.

I actually have someone for you, too, that wants to put your gummies in their stuff. Yeah, dope. Anybody got gummies in your area and your store? You're illegal to CBD. I'll let me jump in the DMs. Let's do some business. I put some money in your pocket.

Ocas, what do you got? Yo, this Friday, I am at the Secret Group in Houston. We, I think, might have found some more tickets for the first show. We're going to be able to sell some more. Second show, still got tickets available. This Tuesday, I'm going to be at New York Comedy Club in Gramercy. I'm doing a night. I got both shows, so come through.

And then October 21st through 23rd, I am at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. In November 6th, I'm at the Red Clay Comedy Festival in Atlanta. Tickets at Akash Singh.com, aka Watt-S-H. I'm going to be canceling, actually, all my shows is I recover from penis and large men's surgery. I'm going to trouble. My hand is the infamous store. Say what? I'm getting in trouble.

She smelled my hand. I know. The infamous store. Guys, we are going to be in Las Vegas this weekend. The show is sold out. Thank you so much. Then we're going to be in Louisville and we're going to be in Cincinnati. Still a few tickets left for those shows.

Make sure you go get them, v. Andrew Shultz.com. We added a bunch more shows to the tour. So make sure you check it out. Second show in San Francisco, second show in Chicago. We also got a second show in D.C. Coming to Indianapolis, Minnesota, we'll be in Jacksonville and Boston for New Year's. Go check out all those shows. Get those tickets before they're sold out.

Okay. I'm telling you this right now. so that you don't hit me the week of like yo how do i do it i told you right now the andrewsholst.com go get that thank you so much taylor take it away um for ask you idiot all right so here's one for you i like you know how to um you know get wax so who do you think we win in a fight wax or john senna whana whana oh you're going for wax this time 100% yeah i don't think john Sean Sina would be able to beat Waxup in a fight. I mean, yeah, I don't think, I don't know.

I think I'd beat John Sina up. Really? I think in a boxing match, does he have any, like, boxing training or anything like that? No, a fight. Just a fight, not a boxing match. Oh, straight, street fight. I mean, he's definitely way stronger than me. He's like a much bigger guy.

So if he maybe grabbed me, probably has experience, you know, doing like real wrestling, not the actual wrestling. So if that's the case, probably throw me around or keep me on the ground. But, like, a boxing match, that kind? If he doesn't have an experience, then. Yeah, boxing match, fair. But a real fight. Wax and Jeff.

John Sina. Oh, yeah. I like wax. I mean, yeah. I don't think John Sina has a background of fighting. He's an entertainer. He's like a theater actor. Do you call wrestlers theater actors?

Yeah, it's theater. Is it? Was he a football player at a high level? I know some or like the rock way to be you. I mean, it's skill with everything that you do. But the thing is people don't understand is like, I really do this. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Yeah. I sell everything in the world. Like next to you know, next week. sell puppies. You know what I'm saying? It's just like a wax cell thing. He know I play the piano. He know how to do this. Like what? No, I really, before I do all that stuff, I could like fight the best out of everything I do. So. Okay. Well, um, what about you? Who? Oh, I meant to ask you for the drinks. You don't drink? I'm gay. Oh.

Yeah. Really, I'm no fun. I'm really no fun. Actually, when you get down to it. I'm not a fun time. You're a comedian. How you not have fun time? That's why I had to get a get funny because I don't do shit else. There's only way, there's only one way you're going to hang out with me if I'm funny. I'm not going to drink with you. I'm not going to chase pussy with you. I better have jokes.

Yeah, you're right. Fox. I'm sorry. I don't really want to. That was really your first time. Yeah. Me and my wife, I was trying to get pussy for years.

Yeah. I just, I will only fuck wax. Yeah. Okay. That's why you never got nothing. All right. So the pineapple 22 wants to know. Is there anyone you still get star?

struck around. Jesus. Yeah, I think Jesus I'd be starstruck for sure. How do you know this? A humble-ass dude, I wouldn't get starstruck around him. That's a regular guy. There's a lot of amazing things.

I believe in him. I just think he's just, yeah, yeah, we believe in everybody. That's what makes it so easy. He just believe in all of it. All of it? Yeah, it's all just different forms of the same God. And we say like, however you get to the mountain top,

that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Who would I be starstruck? Obviously, if I met fucking Jesus, I'd be Starstruck. Yeah. I think I'm surprised by people that I'm like super, I just respect their talent.

Okay. You know, so like it doesn't matter if they're famous. Like, if there's someone who's really famous, but I don't respect their talent, I could give a flying fuck. But if there are people who I really respect their talent and they're maybe not even that famous, I just think that they're brilliant,

then I would be a little bit more nervous around. Yeah. I think I'd be starstruck around super famous people. I don't, like the Kardashians, I wouldn't be like, oh my God, but I'd be like, whoa, that's a fuck. and super famous person. This is crazy.

Also, like, it depends the environment you meet these people in because, like, a really famous person changes everybody else's energy. Yes. You start acting weird, too. Yeah, and I'm also, like,

fascinated by that ability. Like, I was at Carbone. I think Drake came in. We don't know. It was in the back, but they just started playing. They went from 50s Italian music to straight Drake for, like,

45 minutes. CLB all the way through. Somebody was smoking weed back there. Like, wow, how are you smoking indoors? And then I'm like, oh, shit. And then we tried to take a picture and they were like, no, no, no.

Not of Drake. just in general at the restaurant. They're like, no. So I was like, oh, I think that might. And then you start being like, well, this guy changed the whole restaurant. Everything. Like, imagine being so famous. Yeah.

They just play your shit as soon as you walk in. It just becomes hard to socialize with people when they're so caught up in the famous person in the room. So now you're having a conversation with somebody, but you know that they're really just paying attention to the famous person. You know, so it's not, I'm sure you've experienced this like with guests at breakfast club or even just being around Charla. Like, you're trying to talk to somebody and that person is so excited.

excited that Charlotte's there or that that like famous you know person that is in the fucking room and like it's not even a real combo you're yeah so that also makes it very hard to be normal in those positions did what do you all think about with shack saying that he don't want to be a celebrity no more he wants to be the way he worded is so funny it's just shack being shack I thought that too I was like like like Shaq doesn't want to be a celebrity then you read his statement not me but you know that's what sky just say you know what you are that you know what I'm saying like Okay.

We get it, Wax. I know exactly. You got a huge. Hey, wait. Your dick's huge, bro. No, I'm not saying. For me to you, dude, your dick is fucking huge.

I'm just saying. That's what Shack can say. He knows he's like one to fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, to have a big dick and be faithful is so gay. You're so gay. You're so gay. They're having this monster dick and just using it for one person.

Stupid. That's like, you're wild. It's like having a fucking a bust, a 24 passage. You know, you're, you just only have one person in there. What's Travis Scott's daughter? That's you. What's that? Travis Scott had the whole, her daughter had the whole school bus for herself to go to school in. It's fucked up.

That's you. Fucked up, bro. You ain't shit, way. But you know the most famous person, like, I'm, Drake and nobody. Drake is a regular person, though. But, you know, the who got me most, it was pops from the Wayne's brothers. Yeah. Oh, fucking dude.

Come on. You know, we see everybody. Really? You know, we see everybody. Like, who the fuck have I seen? I've been people houses and shit. Like, all right, boats and parties. Like, I'm going to smoke weed.

But as soon as I see Pop, I'm like, man, pops talking, talking shit. Martin, I was really excited to see Martin. People from a childhood. Like, the Wayans Brothers was a big showmer kid. Martin was from a childhood. Jerry Springer. Bang, bang, bang. Yeah.

You like, Jerry Springer? Yeah, like. I couldn't be less. And Mari. He was happy with Mari. Yeah, me and Mori real cool. I told me to fuck my life up. Like people that impacted my life.

I don't care about what everybody else is like, oh, he's famous. I'm like, he gave me some money. What the fuck he do? Yeah. I remember seeing Madonna at the comedy seller. And I could care less. But I've never seen, like, gravity around a human being like that before.

Like, it was unbelievable. Yeah. People couldn't even talk. I was trying to talk to people in the back table, right? And, like, don't get me wrong. It was exciting seeing someone who was. that famous for a second, but like after that, like, let's get back to it. But there was so much fucking energy to this one human being.

The entire place stopped. And she knows that. Yeah. She knows if she gets up from her table. Everybody's looking. Is she leaving? You know? She's doing.

Yeah. And like, would y'all want that, though? Like that famous. I wouldn't want to eat this. Charles Barkley said that about hanging out of Michael Jordan. He's like, I'm famous. I know famous people, but he's still those exact words. When people see Mike, they can't even talk.

Yeah. He's like, I've never seen anything like it. And that will work. It takes like a real strong internal constitution to not be changed by that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I've heard Beyonce is really nice.

Yeah. But I still imagine that's got to change you. Apparently Tom Brady, I just read like a little, there's some book that's coming out about the Patriots. But during the first Super Bowl week, he was like trying to go out to get a drink and Burm suit with his boys. And then he like couldn't because there was too many photographers. And he'd sneak off.

And he called his parents after they won. And he said, our life is about a change. you're about to change as people, I'm about to change as a person. We're never going to be the same after this. Like, he just knew that you're not going to be the same walking out of this. You can't.

But what if, I know it's got a lot of people that's on you, but what if it was just one person that wants you? Like, when you get neck in a girl, like, really want to have sex with you? Like,

is that something to you or you feel like the more people, like which one is more important to you? Like, about to have famous with all these people or does one person love you like that? I think you're famous with all these people, a lot of them want to fuck you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But it's probably better to have like one. Oh, yeah. What's more fulfilling, yeah. Yeah. Sure, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, 100%. 100%. Yeah, fuck all. Yeah, fuck all. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's keep running with it because someone wants to know what's the greatest, or greatest person you ever have met.

Like, who's the greatest person you ever met? The greatest person I've ever met. Wax and his big ass dick. Wax is dick. Not wax, but just this huge dick. Just how big and massive his dick. is that is the greatest person I've ever made.

You gotta have balls and have all these fucking companies and shit. You gotta have big balls. What? They have all these fucking Oh, oh,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, your dick's not just big but you have huge balls too. You're like, dude, wax,

bro, Watts. Here we weren't disrespecting your balls by just saying your dick with something. The only fuck the ladies motherfuckers out. He's got me

fucking companies I got. I'm just saying you have, you have the biggest genitalia that anybody's ever seen. I've never seen it. Grace.

Yeah. condoms like swim caps just fucking I don't even look at it that was crazy do you I even look at it like why would you look at your dick as a dick shut up like oh wait like for you y'all look at your shit for what I look at my shit all the time dude what what do you do what do you do look at it all the time for what I love looking at when I pee I love looking at it love examining it so when you pee you don't look straight or look up we'll look around don't you guys usually look down yeah I'm pretty sure you glance at it at the very least.

So y'all do that. Y'all definitely when y'all kiss y'all open your eyes. What the fuck is you talking about? It's not remotely the same thing. It's just like this. You don't want to make sure you're not pissing on a seat. You go straight up. Soon as it starts coming out, it just automatically your head go up.

There's no way you're pissing and seeing the shit go out. Sometimes I do. Why not? Think about it. Are you that afraid of being gay that you won't even look at your own dick, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's just, so it starts coming out, you just look straight. You don't fucking.

Look down with your fucking meat, bro. What? What's what you're doing for? Why not? Well, no. I think he thinks it's gay. Do you think it's gay to look at your own body? Is you, just, look at the dick.

Are you serious? What is you telling you? It's yours. I saw you, if you, if you're not in your hand, you would, you're fucking, you never jerked off in your life? Because if you have, you've given yourself a hand job. I hate that shit. Can I ask you a question?

Have you ever had a girl riding you? And then you're about to. nut and then you come on yourself? No, I never come to myself. You never came on yourself. Shut up. You're a liar. I never came to myself.

You're a liar. I've come on myself more than I've come and win. That's a hundred percent guarantee. What are you? I just come on my fucking tits, bro. I'm on my stomach, dude. 100%, dude. That's why I don't get my girls

is a big deal to y'all. It's like, I'm coming on me too. It's equal. Wait, what's a big deal? Just to get your titty's coming on. You know what I mean? Some girls like, oh, don't come on my tears. I literally never just went crazy and just nut it all over myself. No, not crazy.

You're just throwing it up like that. What are you going to do? Is that out of the sheets? I don't like doing laundry. I'd rather wash my belly. No. You've never come on your own self. They're lying.

I come on myself. That's cat. Oh, you bugging. No. I never done it on myself. So what do you nut? You never, when you pulled down. No, no, no.

Anywhere in a toilet. I just jerk over in a toilet. I was jerk off to myself. You get hard off from yourself. Don't put this on me. We never got up in the mirror. Like, why that's so you get hard off yourself.

Is that how you came up with the name for your weed? Who's what? Like, he's just looking to mirror. I'm like, what? Who's what? What is that?

This guy looks just like me. He's beaten off too. What a coincidence. It's crazy. All right. I have one more. Damn, I just lost it. but I forgot the person that said it, but they said,

would you date a female you? Well, I did a female me? Yeah. Nah, no. You think you're too much to deal with? I will. Oh, shit. I got to go.

Okay. Guys, this has been brilliant idiots. Okay? What does Charlie usually say? I can't believe I haven't memorized this after seven years. If we said some, you know, smart shit, you think we're brilliant. We said some dumb shit. We're idiots is the brilliant idiots.

Podcast. Thank you all for listening. Big. You know,