The Brilliant Idiots - Fit Fat

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

This week Charlamange and Andrew discuss Fury-Wilder fight, Coronavirus, Deon Cole comments on IG, we do some more #AskAnIdiot, and lots more!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's so stupid. It's positively brilliant. Yep. Shalomaine de God. Andrew Shultz. We are the brilliant idiots podcast. We don't have no pre-roll today so we can get right to it. Yes.

If you're just joining us or if you're a long-time listener, you know, last week we started a formatted show. Oh, yeah, baby. So we start to show off with a segment called Brilliant Idiot. So we salute things that are positively brilliant. and we salute things that are idiotic. What do you have for positively brilliant? Today, Andrew Schultz, what was positively brilliant to you in the past seven days? Oh, no, I had one.

I had one. You know, it might be the same one that you had. We can have more than one. But, oh, here's what was positively brilliant. Okay. Tyson Fury's trainer. Who is the trainer? Who is this trainer?

I know it's a new guy. I know he had a new one for this play. Yeah, Sugar Hill Stewart. Right? From Detroit, I think. From Detroit, out of the crunked him. Emmanuel Stewart. Remember Emmanuel Stewart, the famed legendary boxer trainer.

You're trying to do something in your life, bro. If you're a boxer. So, shout's the Detroit. And there's a couple of videos that catch this. One happened at the press conference, and I saw another video, saw it. So during the press conference,

Andy Lee, who used to be a boxer under Emmanuel Stewart, but who was also, I guess, working the corner, goes and brings Tyson a bottle of water. And then Tyson looks back at somebody and goes, did this come from us? And the person goes, no. And then he hands the water back to Andy Lee and says, I'm not drinking it. And I go,

wow. I go, huh, that's interesting. Then I watch another post-fight interview he was just doing in his locker room. And you could see his trainer go, his trainer says, hey, we ran out of water. Don't drink anything else. I don't care who gives it to you.

And I never... After the fight? After the fight. I never consider this shit. But these guys are worth hundreds of millions of dollars, right? Wilder, every fight is going to generate $100 million as long as he's a champion. If you're the promoter of Wilder and he lost, you might do everything in your power to ensure

that he did not lose, meaning taint one of the water bottles, put a little something in there. Who tainted Wilder's water then? Shit. Because Wilden was looking a little drunk out there. I just thought it was brilliant, like to be in, like instead of getting caught up in the celebration, but like, no, we still got to get out of here,

you still got to piss clean. Everything's got to be good. Loved it. I think it was brilliant. Just the way Tyson Fury fought, I'm not going to friend. I think all of us picked Deontay Wilde. There's only one person I know who picked Tyson Fury.

His name is Glasses Malone, but glasses are Malone. Shouts of the glasses, well. Glasses has been picking Tyson Fury for five years, even when Tyson Fury was in rehab somewhere. As an alcoholic fucking glasses was like, you lucky Tyson ain't there. Tyson will beat all him. And I just like the way he fought, man.

273 pounds. He did exactly what he said he was going to do to Deonté Wadda, which I was like, he's out of his fucking mind if he thinks he's going to press Deonti Wadda. He said it. He said, I'm going to pressure him, and I'm going to try to knock him out by the second round. And he actually fought that fight. Like, no fear. And I was thinking about this, right?

When he got hit last fight, he went down twice. Clearly, he feels like he took Wilde's best shots, and it didn't hurt him. Right. So he approached this fight with no fucking fear. I think Wilder, first of all, I don't think, I still love Brown's bomb. I think Deonti will be back, but

it don't seem like they had any game plan like whatsoever. Even when they went to the corner, I didn't see like his trainer talking to him or, you know, telling him to make some adjustments. It was just like, yo, just get him, just get him, just get him. So it was almost like he was just looking for that one big punch. I think that

Wilder didn't game plan for Tyson. And I think that Tyson, he felt like Tyson didn't have that power. Right? So it seemed to me like he wanted to take a couple from Tyson in order to get that one. He was willing to trade. And I think that trade didn't work out.

Well, that trade did not work out. It was, it looked like a man against a child. It looked like a man against a child. Like, have you ever like, you have a younger brother you beat up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it looked like. When you beat up your younger brother, like there was a time where Fury punched Wilder in the stomach. And dropped them.

But it wasn't like you get dropped from a body shot. Usually body shot, I've been dropped from a body shot. Only time I've been dropped. in a boxing match is from a body shot. I've been stunting shit. But what happens is it hits you in the body, you take a step back, and then you just can't breathe.

Yeah. And then you take a knee. Yeah. He hit him in the body, and he flew like it was a fucking Marvel movie. He flew back. By the way, that's he reminded me a Marvel movie.

Remember when fucking Hulk grabbed Loki? And he just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bam, bang. So that's what Fury was doing with Wilder. That's what you were doing the goddamn Dionte Wilder. During Black History Month. Bro, during Black History Month. That shit, I'm going to be honest with you. To disrespect.

I didn't think that I loved Wilder that much. I knew I liked Wilder a lot. I knew I liked Wilder a lot, right? First of all, let me paint the picture for it. Yeah, yeah. This could be under the idiotic session, but it's not. We had a good time. My daughter had a cheerleader.

We tried to have structure. No, no, no, this is. Are we still structure? My daughter had a cheerleading competition this weekend. Yeah, yeah. So we was in Wildwood, New Jersey. Yes. Right?

First of all, I totally understand why people don't go to Wildwood, New Jersey. And the problem with cheerleading competitions is they have these cheerleading competitions in places people really don't want to be. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Salute the Atlantic City. Great town. Yeah, yeah.

You don't just go to Atlantic City. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Wildwood, New Jersey. Yeah. Great town. I don't think you just go to Wildwood, New Jersey, right? Yeah.

So it's the middle of winter. Everything's fucking close. You just lost $10,000. You don't want to hear enthusiasm. No. That's what cheer is, right? You just lost your house on a game of Blackjack. Let's go!

Somebody fucking blow this cheer competition up. Everything in Wildwood, New Jersey is closed. We're staying in a nice two-star hotel called the Starlux. This is I know that I am a great father, okay? Because I'm looking at this shit a little, just a little pissed off at the wife. Like, baby, come on. This is the stuff we're trying to run from, right? My 11th and your daughter is like, relax.

It's a bed. I got a bed. We're good. We only here for a couple of days. I said, well, goddamn, you ain't never been poor. So this don't bring back no trauma for you. This don't trigger nothing than you.

It triggers everything in me, but I understand. So I'm watching Deonté Wilde on my laptop, because, of course, there's no pay-per-view in a goddamn two-star hotel. Of course not. You got a TV with a back on us still. Watching it on my laptop, I told my wife, I said, look, we're going to get us

some plastic cups, pint of Remy. If we're going to do it, let's do it like I used to do it back in the day, right? Let's go! Let's go! So we're drinking out the plastic hotel, cups, We're drunk. I'm watching Deontay.

I love this. You know, me and my wife, we go to fights. Like, we watch boxing. Yeah. We're sitting there like, that's really our family member. Like, Deontay, no. Because there was a sense of pride when he walked out. He had on the motherfucking Decepticon uniform.

The guy rapping. I don't even know what he was rapping. D-Smoke. You said pop smoke. No, he said D-Smoke. Oh, I'm about to say. Oh, God. The pop smoke was dead and he lost.

That would very be, really be disrespectful. Yeah, that would be fucked up. Yeah. Come on, man. Damn, Taylor. Jesus Christ. Come on, y'all. But D. Smoke comes out.

He does this very positive, powerful song. I didn't know, I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know if he was, I thought somebody just jumped out from a crowd and just started saying. Now, D. Smoke won. Black history, black power, black unity. D. DeSmoke one on Rhythm and Flow, the Netflix show. Say what?

You won their Rhythm and Flow, the Netflix show that's like a rap. Oh, yes. You were on that? Yeah. No, I wasn't. Weren't you, like, featured on that or something? I interviewed. I interviewed Chantin T.I.

Yeah. But, huh? Could you put you put your business. You're not going to put you up on the mic. Mind your fucking business. Get your baby hair with this story. I'm trying to go somewhere with this story.

Man, let's go. He's in a two-star hotel. Smoke ain't crack with his wife and daughter. I thought Deonté Wilde's entrance was positively brilliant. Positively brilliant. I thought both of their entrances were positively brilliant. Love that. I was actually mad at Fury's entrance because in my mind, I'm like,

why the fuck they acting like he's the champion? Yo, that's the genius about it. He act like he had the belt and you believed it. Came out with the Patsy. Klein? Are we supposed to give linear heavyweight champions, that kind of respect? I don't know what we post to do. I didn't understand that.

But I got to say, even with that, I was telling people Tyson Fury wasn't a, he's not a sucker. This wasn't a Ruiz Joshua situation. Ruiz ain't no sucker either, but it's not like Fury was an underdog. No, he beat him the first round. He beat him the first time. He didn't win, but he beat him. Yeah, yeah. And he didn't, Tyson Fury has never lost.

The only thing that beat Tyson Fury was depression and anxiety and his mental health issues. the substance abuse. That's what beat Tyson Fury. Yes. Like the Fury came back, got back on his bike, and he fucking,

he gave it to Deonté Wilde. I didn't know I liked Deonti Wilder that much, yo. I'll be honest with you. It was difficult for you watching it? It was difficult to watch, bro. Because I've never seen, because Deontay exudes so much power. Bro.

And so much strength, so much king shit. So to see him just, he was just flopping around and around. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with him? It wasn't good. It wasn't good.

Yeah. What Taylor? What? Taylor? Grab the fucking microphone. Wait, does that one work? It's too early. It's only the first format.

No, I really have a question about it. Because me and my... Wait, you got to do... Okay, maybe we need to get through a what-of-fucking idiot segment since you want to talk about... Go ahead. Yes? Yes, go ahead.

Okay, go. So he was saying how, like, when you were saying, he was saying he had hurt about watching... I was hurt. I was hurt. Did you make it a racist? Not racist. He was not racist. No.

And he was light-skinned. You were from the same. What are you talking about? No, we had this whole discussion about it. Who had this whole discussion? Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. I never had this discussion with you.

He's lucky that he's not light skin because the bruises that Fury put on his body would have showed up way more if he was light skin. If he was the beige bomber. Oh, my Lord. He doesn't look purple. I'm saying because he represents as a dark, like he's a dark skin man.

He's so strong and everything else. And like represent me like a pure black man. I just think that be, You might be right. I just think that he exudes so much power, but I'm not... He's putting too much pressure on boxers, yo. This is like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is like way better figures to look up to. Ali is one of the greatest black historical figures ever, and he lost. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But that's not the case. With black history months and everything else. So that's what I'm saying, like that person. I was, I was...

I'm going to be honest with you. I wasn't to her because I'm a fan. I like Tyson Fury. Yeah. I'm a fan of what he stands for. I like him as a person. I'm saying. I like a bold.

I like a boy. I don't say it's boxing. As an American, I love an American heavyweight with concussive power. I don't give a fuck. Call me bias. If you're listening to this in the UK right now, you're proud that you got UK heavyweight. Come on. So, but the reality of the matter is Tyson Fury came in and beat the shit out of Deontay Wilder.

He beat the shit out of him. And Deonti Wiley showed a lot of fucking heart. And he got trashed on social media, which is what happens. Like, he shouldn't personalize that. We all go through that. that you get that type of fame and you get beat up. You don't get it on social media. Let's go.

I think we should be able to go back and forth between the what a fucking idiot segment and brilliant segment because I agree with you. Okay, go. I think those people on social media are idiots. Now, I understand that when you lose. But it's the game. I don't think it's lack of love. Like you, like we've all went through things not on maybe you probably have,

but maybe not for me, not on that level. But where something embarrassing happens and then the internet just jumps on it. I'm an asshole to a lot of people. Right. You're an asshole to a lot of people. I think Wadden ain't ever been no asshole of people. I'm not even going to say the young lady's name, but me and a young lady are really cool.

She's from Alabama, and I hit her. I was like, yo, how you feel about, you know, Deonté, why are they losing? She was like, my mama said he deserves it. I said, why? Deont take care of his kids? I'm like, what the fuck? That's actually not true. Doesn't he have one of his kids?

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, why would she say some shit like that? But what I'm telling you by saying that is, that's the type of petty dumb shit that happens when a person takes an L. Right. Me and Taylor was arguing Monday. Because the first thing she does is coming to. studio and go, Deante ain't shit.

I did not say that. I did not say that. I'm like, look. A man don't go 49 and O or whatever the fuck he was and you ain't shit. Right. Come on, man. Come on, man. I did not say that. Like, just like I got beat the shit off him, right?

He definitely got the shit beat out of him. So, me saying what I said, I said that I don't think Deonté as good as I thought I wanted him to be because because of one loss. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying he's not a good fighter though. All I'm saying is when I come. to like the athletes. Tyson Fury show like he was

bouncing around and show energetic. All right y'all. You're pissing off our listeners, Joe. They don't want to hear you. They're fucking mad as hell right now. Let you talk for 30 seconds. Here's the reality. He's not Adrian Brona. Adrian Brona get his ass kick. I can understand the social media backlash like that. Now I hear what you're saying.

Yes. You felt like it was unfair because he literally only done positive things. He's only been supportive. And then now the reality is everybody gets these jokes. I think that's something that the internet shows, especially if you lose an embarrassing fashion. Jokes are one thing, but celebrating some of, what you think is their downfall is different, bro.

Oh, do you think that there was, like, a bigger thing at play here? It was a celebration. It was like, yeah, like, oh, yeah, he ain't undefeat. Like, it was weird. But do you think there was a bigger cultural thing here? Like, do you think it was like, like, um... Oh, I got it. Go. I have never seen Deontay's successes screamed as loud as his one loss,

meaning that this man has won 49 fights. You don't see people talking about Deonté Wilder like that. You know what I'm saying? Think about it. On social media, think about all of the amazing, not. He's had. We're boxing guys, so we see it. You don't see people talking about him,

but when he loses, they're streaming his failure when they used to just whisper his success. I have a problem with him. So I guess my question is like, sometimes culturally I find we do this, right? We build someone up when they're the underdog, and then when they get really successful,

we tear them down. Absolutely. Right? And I don't know if that's an American thing or a human thing or whatever it is. But do you think that's what's at play here? Here's this guy who the second he stopped being the underdog, he was the big, bad wolf who blows the house down.

The second he was unbeatable. The second he was the most ferocious man in the world, the most concussed man in the world. Do people start resenting that and going, well, that makes me feel insecure because I'm not that way? And then when he loses, you go, ha, ha, ha, you're just like me. I think so. I think that when you are so good and you're undefeated and shit like that,

you give off this era, this aura of like invincibility. You know, and I think that it makes people feel like you're, back to their level when you take a L. It's the same reason you like to see Tom Brady lose and the Patriots. It's the same reason like... You want to see the Yankees lose. You want to see... You root against Floyd Mayweather every fucking time.

But even Floyd, Floyd's cocky. Yeah. So I can understand why people would want to see, you know, Floyd lose. Or you root against America. Like, every country knows exactly what's wrong with America. That's why you got no health care. That's why you got this, why you got that? You know what I mean?

Yeah. But, you know, I thought it was brilliant. You know what else I thought was brilliant this week? Michael Jordan His speech at Kobe Brown's Memorial Service Him mentioning the crying me That was a bar The reason I thought it was brilliant

Because as I'm watching it I text little Duval And I said Michael Jordan about to bring the crying meaning back And Duval put back a bunch of laughing at him back He said yo we assholes Right And then like five seconds later

10 seconds later He mentions it Yeah The reason I thought it was dope It's because it's certain things You can't get away from Michael Jordan is the Michael Jordan of ugly crying

there is nobody on this planet who ugly cries better than Michael Jeffrey fucking Jordan it is the weirdest shit like you know how in glory when Denzel did that one tear and it sat on his face it's like Michael puts out multiple tears and they just go all over his fucking head

they're on his fucking forehead they're on his cheeks they're around his mouth He looks cummed on He looks fucking cummed on bro It's a glaze It's a glaze It's a fucking glaze. And it's like the snot coming out his nose.

I'm like, what the fuck? Did you just get blacked? Who the fuck keeps on Michael Jordan? Let me dunk on your face. This is payback. God damn. But that's how it looks. So it's just like, bro, if you don't have a napkin nearby, you got to acknowledge that shit.

Yes. And then it's like, I don't even see him wipe his face. No, he let it go. I respect that, though. I like that. That's how men cry, bro. Don't be like this. Don't do this.

This shit is pussy, son. When you do a windshield wipers off your face, now, let it stream. There's something to that, man. Let's stream, dude. Let's go, yeah. If you let it go, because it seemed like after he mentioned it, just disappeared. Say what? Oh, you think the tears went away?

Go back and watch that video, yo. After he mentioned it, it's like his whole face just dried up. And why did we never see Michael cry like that when he was playing? Good question. He never cried. He hit it. He cried after he won the first championship. He hit it better.

But he stayed in the locker room with his head with his head like this. He wouldn't let us see him. Dude, we were having a conversation on flagrant this week, which I think was interesting regarding Michael Jordan. Why he's the greatest athlete of all time. Talk to me. Okay. This could possibly fit into a positively brilliant. Okay.

He's the greatest athlete of all time because he's the greatest athlete of all time because he's, erased his competitors from the history books. Oh, without question. If you was in the Jordan era, they don't even know you exist. Think about like our kids, right, are not going to know John Stockton, Carl Malone, Reggie Miller, Charles Barclay. Inside the NBA keeps Charles Barkley alive. That's exactly what I said.

Yes. 100%. Patrick Ewing? Done. That whole Nick Squad. Boom. So you can't compare him to a LeBron or these other guys because LeBron has not erased his competitors from his.

history. I agree. Think about that. That's greatness. And then the other thing I was talking to Tony Hitchcliffe from a Kill Tony show, he said it's something interesting. You know, it's interesting about Jordan. You can only compare him. When you do compare him, you often only compare him to people who

play individual sports. And that's a sign of greatness when you play a team sport and the only people you can liken your dominance to or tennis or golf, you know, Tiger had his, heyday?

I get what he's saying, but the only reason I wouldn't make that comparison is just because I don't feel like, and I'm not dishing none of those sports, I guess I am, I don't feel like none of those sports matter athletically

the way basketball does. You know what I'm saying? The way football does. Even the way baseball does. Right. No disrespect to golf and tennis. I just, maybe tennis is more than golf. Tennis has athleticism.

Tennis more than golf, yes. 100%. The biggest knock I would say on tennis or sports like tennis and like hockey is that there's a financial requirement. Same with like swimming. There's a financial requirement to enter it.

So you eliminate all the poor people. And who's the best at sports? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That makes so much fucking sense, bro. So it's like Michael Phelps might be the fastest swimmer that we know of, but the real fastest swimmer might be LeBron if he grew up with a fucking pool. There's somebody in Cuba right now that can swim back and fall between Cuba and Florida. Elion Gazzazzazz. I'm telling you. Right now. Let's go. Well, I bet you there's a Cuban swimming in Cuba right now that have been swimming back and forth

from Cuba to Florida for years. I bet you're in Florida. He's got to swim faster than sharks, bro. You know what type of swimming that is? I'm telling you, yes. I bet you. But no, I agree. I agree with everything you just said about Michael Jordan. There's something there, right?

About, like, eliminating your competition. Like, eliminate from the history books. And I bet you could take that out of just sports, dude. I bet you could take it. I mean, some people might say it about you in radio. Some people might go, you know, during Charlene's radio heyday, who were the other radio DJs, or what do you call yourselves? Personality.

Personalities that we're spoken about. I'm not talking about the ones grandfathered in. Those people always exist. We're talking about during the 10 years or whatever, during the heyday, who else was mentioned? No one. That's a good point. You ain't wrong.

you're right. Right? Think about it. It's a testament of greatness. Who else is going to be mentioned during your era? And again, it's not during the entirety

of your career. It's during your years of greatness. The only reason Hakeem Ilajuan is spoken about is because, say it, you know. Because Jordan retired, and he's really not spoken about if we're being on this.

But every year, some big man goes and like in the off season, learns how to do some moves from him, right? He's always kind of in the conversation. Dude, Kenny Smith is only on inside the NBA because Jordan retired for fucking two years. Listen, you're not wrong.

I agree with you. By the way, I've never seen any era of dominance like Michael Jordan. It's unbelievable. I haven't seen it because this guy went to the finals three years in a row, retired and went back three years. So it's like you literally had, you know, an eight-year run where Michael Jordan was always in the finals and not just in the finals, winning. I know people will sit there and be like, oh, well, LeBron. Yeah, LeBron might have did that in the Eastern Conference. But for the whole NBA, it's other people you're going to talk about when you're talking about the LeBron James era.

Yep. You know what I'm saying? LeBron James has his era, but there's other people that will be spoken about. You're going to talk about Steph. You're going to talk about Steph. Because he got them rings. Absolutely. You're going to talk about KD.

KD. Absolutely. There's a lot of guys you're going to talk about. You know who, Steph, you know who would be the Steph of that era? Reggie Miller will never talk about Reggie because Jordan didn't allow that shit to happen. But if Reggie got some rings, we'd probably call him the greatest shooter of all time. Reggie, bro? If we being honest, golden state might be the shit of that era.

Now, the reason I give LeBron, the reason I give LeBron the slight edge, because he beat that super team. The 73 and 9 super team that went to the finals five years in a row, LeBron beat them once. But he didn't beat the better version of that team, which was KD when KD was there. Like, you can't even be, you can't even, yeah. It's just put it to this. way. When Jordan was in the league, no one ever said there was a better team in the league than the Bulls. No. So how LeBron is going to be the best in the league? No. Right? If there's another team that was better. It isn't, I think low key, and I'm guilty

of it, I think we forget how fucking dominant Jordan was, yo. Bro, we forget how dominant Jordan was because that was in the 90s. Shit is, like, we know because we lived it. Yeah. These kids looking at us like, we shot you at your fucking mind. Nobody. better than LeBron. Nobody was better than Colby. Like, Michael Jordan? That shit is like talking about a... Michael Jordan really is the meme. He's really the crying face meme. You're talking about a meme.

And think about this, right? Kobe's Memorial Service. I got to give Jordan just a little bit of what a fucking idiot. Okay, go. Kobe Bryant's Memorial Service. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You're up there giving a speech. Yeah. These kids don't really know you. Yeah.

It's almost like when you fucking, you know, realize that Wendy's was a real girl. You know what I'm saying? Oh no. I meant, okay, like, because it's a Jordan. It's a sneaker. I know the sneaker, Jordan.

Uh-huh. Like, oh, that's a real person, right? Yeah. So he's up there and he's talking. And you give, you give the people what they know you for, this generation. What does this generation know you for? The crying face. And that's what you give them, Michael.

You got to know your audience, bro. You got to know your audience. No, no, no, no, he did. No, I think that was good. You don't think that's possibly brilliant? No. What's he supposed to do? Dribble basketball?

He could, yeah. From the free of the line? Come out there. Hey, guys, let me show you what I used to do. Yes, make sure you show the highlights. Start backing something. When I was busting Kobe's ass in the All-Sar game. They showed one.

He had one little clip that showed him talking to Kobe. Show the highlights when I was. Show what I used to do. Show him why I was busting Kobe's ass in the All-Star game. All right? Because that's how the speech started. The speech started off on some, I'm your big bro. I was sonning you type shit.

You're an annoying little brother calling me, asking me, studied my moves, wanted to be just like me. I was like, holy shit. I love it. He's Michael. He's Michael all the time. That's Michael, bro. He can't turn off Mike.

Yeah, he can't turn off Mike. Mike's not an idiot. I'll tell you who is a fucking idiot. Who? Joe Biden. Is he a senile or is he an idiot? We're not give, no, we're not. Dimitia's not an excuse yet.

What? Because if you're smart, if you're coherent enough to run for president, we're not fucking letting you off on the dementia shit. Is he or is this weekend at Bernie's shit? I don't know, bro. Someone got to do a weekend at Biden's like a little, uh, in like Instagram video or spoof, whatever, because he literally doesn't know what he's saying while he's saying.

Did you see him at the South Carolina? It was the South Carolina dinner or some shit. Did you see it? Play the shit, Taylor. Now listen to this. This is Joe Biden. By the way, people, this is Joe Biden on Monday. Yeah.

This was Monday. Okay? Listen. Yeah. I'm the president of the world. And I have a simple proposition here. I'm here to ask you for your help. Where I come from, you don't get far unless you ask.

My name's Joe Biden. I'm a Democratic candidate. the United States Senate. Look me over. If you're like we see, help out. If not vote for the other body, give me a look, though, okay? Okay, now let me tell you everything that's wrong with that

because that might have went over your head. Joe Biden first ran for U.S. Senate in 1972. Right now, he's running for president in 2020 for the third time. Why the fuck? Did he tell those people that he's running for U.S. Senate? Why? Why? That's not even the biggest issue of that line.

The biggest issue of that line for me is he said, if you don't like me, vote for the other Biden. Yep. Who the fuck is the other Biden? My name is Joe Biden. I'm a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate. Okay. Doesn't he sound like one of those people that just got, like, their molar removed and they're still on the laughing gas?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've seen those videos where, like, the girls kind of wake up and they start saying, wow, shit to the doctor. Yeah. That's what I feel like he's constantly on. They just inflate them full of some laughing gas or some methamphetamines or something. They just give him some talking points. Go on out there and do it. I think he's a fucking clone.

Yeah. I think he's a robot. I think that was a glitch. I think everything we see from him is a glitch when he said vote for the other Biden. I think there isn't. I think there isn't a other Biden, bro. I think the other Biden is the Biden that they said was the most electable Democratic candidate. I think the other Biden was the Biden.

They said could beat Donald Trump. And we need to go find that other Biden. Because that Biden, he ain't the one, bro. Where do you think he is? Shit, with Barack, creating new Netflix shows. Oh, you think that he's just chilling. And I think once he gets the nomination, if he gets the nomination, they'll reel the real Biden out. Now, you take it home.

You take it home. This other Biden, the robot is done. By the time Super Tuesday comes and they vote, you get the nomination, put the real Biden out there. Do you think he has a chance? There's no way. All of them have still have a chance. You think? Yeah, because he won.

he won. He was second place in Nevada. If he wins South Carolina going into Super Tuesday, he got a chance. Right. He got a chance. And plus, they want him to have it. The establishment wants him. I think the establishment is divided over him and Buttigieg.

I think that they're setting Buttigieg up for a greater play later. Ooh, talk to me. I just think they're setting him up for a greater play later. I think that I think Buttigieg was somebody that entered the race. I'm sure he's had conversations with the

How would that be, the Illuminati, whoever the fuck? And they told him, like, look, you know, this is a good way to get your name out there. Like, you're young, you're charismatic. Like, you know, you represent diversity because you're gay. I think that, you know, the presidential election will be a great way for you to get your name out there. Right.

You know what I'm saying? It's kind of like some brilliant shit like Andrew Yang did. I don't know. I don't think Andrew Yang was really trying to win. I think Andrew Yang was trying to promote his books, trying to promote his new ideas. And it's led into him being a character, a figure now. He's got a job with CNN.

You know what I mean? I think it's the same thing with Mayor Pete. I think, man, Pete had some great ideas. I think he's super smart. And I think that he was really just trying to get his name up. But now, it's like, we're here. It's like, shit, fuck it. Let me go for it.

If I can do it now, why not go for it, you know? So I think that's setting them up for a greater play later. I think he winds up in the Senate, you know, more so than anything. And he'll, if he runs for a Senate seat, he'll probably win that in the landslide. Do you think that he could win a Senate seat in Indiana? Yeah. Really? Gay guy in a Republican, in a.

The anti-democrat in, like, Republican, Indiana, conservative Indiana? He's mayor in South Bend. He fucking was number one. He was, like, tied for number one in the Iowa caucuses. Like, he was, you know, top, what, three in Nevada. Yeah, but he's got to do it within his state or move to another state. I mean, not Nevada, New Hampshire, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

I don't see why not. I don't see why not. But I didn't think they set them up for a greater play later. I think that I personally think the establishment wants Bloomberg or Biden. That's who I think to establishments wants. I think the establishment wants Bloomberg of Biden. And, you know, people got upset with me because I gave Joe Biden donkey today. And I said during Donkey today that, you know, the first person to announce a black woman as their running mate or a woman of color as their running mate wins.

And they was like, oh, that's tokenism. I said, no. The three people I named are overqualified. I named Senator Kamala Harris, probably to run with Biden. Stacey Abrams, the run with Mayor Bloomberg, which makes perfect sense because Mayor Bloomberg. Borg gave her $5 million for her fair fight 2020 last year are Nina Turner to run with Senator Bernie Sanders

and like all those people are more than overqualified but any white man who runs on the Democratic ticket either has to have a woman or a woman of color as their VP. You think? You have to. You have to in 2020.

It's the same reason people got to have diversity on their fucking TV shows and in the workplace and it's now you'd be tone deaf and blind if you didn't have a woman in particular, a woman of color as your VP. And the reason I think that one of those, because to me it's all about the running mates at this point, right? Because none of the guys that you see out there are, they're all uninspiring. None of them are making you like, oh, I got to go out and vote for them.

So it's like, build your team. Right. Show people what you got around you, you know? So who are the most loyal voting bloc in politics? I don't know. Think black women, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for Democrats. Yeah, like 90% of black women or something like that voted for Hillary last year.

So I wonder if the establishment is going, okay, we got them. That's a lock. We don't need to cater to them because they're the most loyal voting block. Why don't we put someone else in there that will get the people that are in the middle to pull over at our side? That's true. But listen. I'm wondering strategically if they do that. Maybe that's not the best decision for the country.

Maybe that's not the best decision for this election. But I wonder if strategically to pull over those centrist voters, just like Trump picked a really religious dude to pull those religious guys over. So I wonder if they pick someone kind of in the middle, the Democrats pick someone a little bit in the middle to pull every person in the law. Well, Biden's a moderate, right? Well, he won't vice again. No, I'm saying.

But if he's on the leading ticket, you go grab Senator Harris. I think that that's a, if Biden wasn't senile, I think that that would be an actual really interesting ticket. Right? Because they're both kind of conservative for Democrats. They're both hard on crime. Biden's like, no, we're not doing weed. We're not going to be legalized. They're both tough.

If Joe smoke some weed, you're straightened right to fuck up. Oh, you think he's straightened right? I think he's straight and right. I think he'd be up there like, I'm Senator Kamala Harris. Maybe. Maybe. I think he was trading right to fuck up. I agree with you, though. I just think that, you know, once you get...

By the way, I think everybody's moderate except for Bernie. And Elizabeth? You know, Elizabeth got to go. Yeah, I don't like Elizabeth. This girl got to go. She is so fucking phony, man. Can we put her under the water fucking idiot part? Yes, let's do it.

We got to put her under the water fucking idiot part. I hated what she said to Matt Bloomberg. Like, she literally told Matt Bloomberg. She's a snitch, bro. She's a tattletail. Well, in 1993, well, you did, shut up. She told Mad Bloomberg. Get a haircut.

She told Matt Bloomberg, bro. You told a woman to kill her baby. Now, aren't you pro abortion? Well, here's the thing. Yeah. This ain't social media. It's not a blog. This is a debate stage in America on a Tuesday fucking night.

Yeah. You can't just put that on me without no fucking proof. If you put that shit on me, you better have the summer jam screen behind you with me coming up on the video saying, hey, yes, kill the baby. Yeah. Or immediately your social media team should be posting a video of me saying this shit. And that's what Bloomberg said. Bloomberg said, I never said that shit. Yeah, but now you're defending some shit.

And once you defend some shit, you look guilty. Bloomberg said, but the moderator, I got to get props to the moderators. They said to her, where's the evidence of this? How can you just make a claim like this with no evidence? And she was like, it came out of her mouth. Okay, so if we're supposed to believe everything that comes out of folks' mouth, then you're an Indian. You're a fucking Native American a little bit foreign.

No, I'm saying. Oh, my God. I was like, Anderson Cooper. You need to get your dick suck for that one, Anderson Cooper. Bear Pete, where are you friends? Go hand the fucking Anthony, please. What the fuck, he deserves it. Bro, that would have been a comeback of a century.

All I'm simply saying is, Come back. Talking about Anderson, Cooper. Big talk about Anderson, Cooper. I just hate when they do that. Like, yo, you can't do that in a debate, yo. You can't just accuse me and telling somebody I killed their baby?

Yeah. Is it that serious? Now, if we want to just pull up shit that happened on social media and shit, people say, I can throw a whole bunch of things that you, Elizabeth. Yeah. You know what I, can we fight below the, above the belt?

Yeah, you know, she is, she's just trying to get moment. Like, she's so desperate. It's, like, oozing out of her. She was desperate. She was desperate. She's so desperate. And she knows that if she has a big, moment on the stage that it can kind of increase maybe donations or polling or whatever the

fuck it is because she kind of said something to who she's saying in the last debate that she got some buzz about she called was it Bloomberg she was yeah she got in a Bloomberg's ass exactly and then everybody gave her some praise or social media praise and she got some buzz she's like okay so i got drop some hot shit on them this time but don't translate in the polls it's not like she shot up in the polls after that last after after the last day people think you're corny when you do that yeah we we don't like snitches we don't like tattletails that's why we We literally criticize children for doing both of those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We say to our children, don't be a tattletail. Yeah. So you think grown adults are going to see a woman up there, damn near 70 years old, tattletailing. Yeah. And go, I need a vote for the tattletail? With no evidence, by the way. And then she brings up the NDAs, and Bloomberg is like,

I did exactly what Senator Warren asked me to do. I released the three young women from their NDAs so they can tell their stories. And I abolished NDAs from all my companies. companies, period. Whoa. So never again can somebody be forced to sign an NDA or have to sign an NDA? And he was like, that'll probably change corporate America. Elizabeth can't pivot.

What she said? She was just like, well, no, we want you to make, to release, have all the women release. And then he goes, I did. I did. And Bloomberg said, the problem with Senator Warren is enough is never enough for her. Mm. He made it look stupid.

He made Elizabeth Warren look like a fucking idiot, and it was hard to look like an idiot on that stage because everybody looked like an idiot on that fucking stage. I'm serious. For you to be a standout idiot on that stage, you got to be a real idiot. He really made Elizabeth Warren look crazy as fuck you. I'm going to be honest with you.

All the Democrats are to me are fucking idiots because to be on that stage and to be arguing amongst each other, cannibalizing each other. They don't get it, bro. I understand you don't like Bernie Sanders because you think he's a Democratic, socialists or whatever, but it's got to be a strategic way to get behind the hot hand.

Who's the one person that don't criticize everybody and don't take shots at everybody? Bernie. The one guy, because he sees the bigger picture, he's like, I could come up here and throw haymakers at all you fucking goofballs. You don't think Bernie could go up there and just body Bloomberg left and right. Bernie's also winning, though. Say what? He's also winning. But that's always been his strategy.

Even with Hillary when she stole the election from him, right? he didn't say anything bad about her. They were literally stealing the election from him. Yeah. He didn't say shit. They did it again in Iowa. He didn't say shit. Yeah, I mean, she blames Bernie a lot now

because she said Bernie didn't energize his people to vote for her. Who, Hillary? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there anything that's her fault? Is there anything at all that's her fault? Yo, man, it comes to point. Nothing? Listen, I agree with you.

It's like, you need a little self-awareness in this game, bro. Like, if you keep losing, if you're Hillary Clinton and you keep, losing. Maybe it's you. It comes a point in time where you have to know that maybe you're just not inspiring nobody. Maybe, you know, your policy is just ain't hitting. Maybe your legislation ain't what people want. It got to come a point in time where you have to realize some of this is about you, bro.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I say that about all the candidates on stage. I like Mayor Pete, right? I think Mayor Pete has a bright future. But Bernie has the hot hand. If you have the hot hand, just get behind the guy with the hot hand. Make sure he got the right team around him.

Like, stop telling me about, oh, he's not electable. How is he not electable? And Joe Biden is the guy that can beat Trump when Joe can't even beat Bernie. Son, Joe. But Joe can't beat Bernie. Joe has got to be Bernie in the primary. That's the thing. Yo, it's, they're just, the establishment is afraid of Bernie because they can't control him.

They know they can't control him. And that scares the shit out of them. But the reality is that people can sense authenticity. And even if you disagree with every one of his economic policies, which I pretty much do, he's authentic. He's authentic, man. I'll vote for an authentic person. Yeah. Yo, real talk?

Say whatever you want about Trump. The right felt he was authentic. When you saw him on the debate stage, right? And you saw him against all these other like career politicians who were going for the unity of America. And they were talking with their hand kind of like this. We don't talk to language of politics. The majority of America don't talk to the language of politics, bro. And a guy went up there as like, yo, why is he sleepy?

You're like, yo, he does kind of look sleepy, Joe. Mini Mike. Let's go. That's what we would say. Come on, bro. Come on. Listen, all I know is the Democrats going to catch hell in November. I think Bernie's holding some, I think Bernie's holding some bars for Trump.

I think he knows he's going to be having debates with Trump. And I think Bernie's going to drop some bars on him. Here's the thing about Bernie that's dope. He's the old man sitting on the porch telling you to get the fuck off his lawn. Right? But his, you're not going to punk Bernie. Now, one time on that stage last night did Bernie get punked. You say something about Bernie.

That's not you. No, no, fuck. No, let me talk. Like, he's loud. Wagging a finger. It's cramaginy. Yes. But it works.

Yes. He's not letting him push him to fuck around. That's the beauty of Bernie Sanders to me. And I just think that they need to get behind the hot hand, man. Like even last night, they spent all that time attacking Bernie, trying to attack Bloomberg. Attacking Bernie, trying to attack Bloomberg. First of all, you got to give kudos to Mike Bloomberg. Why would he do it?

Mike Bloomberg came back the way I want Deonté Wilder to come back. Really? Yes, man. Yes. Yeah. Because he, Mike Bloomberg got his ass kicked the way DeNate got his ass kick against Tricor. Yeah. But he came back last night.

He was super solid. What do he say? Just, just, it was the fact that it was his comebacks were quick. Yeah. And he actually had things to say. He didn't seem nervous. He had one corny-ass joke where he was like, I can't even believe they're back on this stage with me after the way. I scared him last week.

Corny. You know what I'm saying? I understand what he was trying to go, but he set it up wrong. Right? But he did very well. So I don't know. I just think Bernie's the guy with the hot hand. I think that they should get behind

motherfucking Bernie Sanders and just sitting there, watch them attack Bernie over and over last night, but not look at the camera and tell the American people what they're going to do for the American people and why we should vote for them.

This is exactly what happened with the last election. Haley was talking about how she's not Trump and not talking about what she was going to do for the people. And all you've got to do to win the shit is say what you're going to do to the people. Fucking Andrews, Andrew Yang, out of nowhere, who says I'm going to give everyone $1,000.

Out of nowhere, it becomes a legitimate candidate because he was campaigning what he was going to do. Yeah, yeah. And it's such a distraction because you don't get to hear about Mike Bloomberg's Greenwood initiative. Bernie doesn't get to say how he wants to give kids, he wants to erase all student loan debt. Like, that's the type of shit Americans want to hear. It don't matter.

He's in dream selling. All of them are. Duval said Bernie's just trying to go to heaven. Bernie's about to die He's like, I might as well try to give away everything. Bro, Bernie already been to heaven, bro. Say what?

He's close. Yeah, Bernie, Bernie's seen it. Bernie was like, all right. I'll be back. Let me get him. Let me get his one more goal. That's probably what happened. Yo, Loki looks younger this time around.

No, he doesn't. You don't think? Bernie looks like Larry fucking David. Bro. And if I was Bernie, if I had the money, I'd be running ads that's, I'll be running ads with Larry David. And Larry would be pointed at the camera saying, don't let the Democratic establishment curve your enthusiasm for

Burderson. That's what the fuck I would be doing. Like, nobody, where's the pop culture angle? That's the other way that Trump kills. The pop culture angle. They don't get it. It's pop culture, baby. Democrats, the establishment of a bunch of fucking dorks.

They don't understand entertainment. Bro, I saw the best Bernie meme. It said, I don't always comb my hair. But when I do, I use a balloon. That shit's killing me, bro. All right, man, that was, that was, what do we call this segment? Oh, it's positively brilliant. What a fucking idiot.

That's that segment. Let's pay some bills, God damn it. I got a piss. Guys, with Boost Mobile, you finally have everything you could want in a wireless carrier. No annual service contract. Boost Mobile offers a range of data plans and the latest phones from top brands at affordable prices. Their network is super reliable and super fast. So you can post up and watch the game or stream brilliant idiots almost anywhere.

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Offers and coverage not available everywhere. Visit boostmobile.com or a retailer for full details. Now let's get back to the show. Oh, look at that timing. Amazing. We're right back. Let's do church announcements right now then. Where we at?

Where are you at, bro? Shit, I don't, you know. I don't remember. That's the fucked up part, right? All right. Church announcements. It's not church announcements? No, no, we're doing church announcements.

Okay. Hey, Taylor, please be quiet. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. It's bad. And when you tell a woman to shut up, then we're the bad guy. Exactly, right? How we say shut up? How do we say shut up without saying shut up? You know what Taylor said to me at the beginning of this day? No, no, because you said it to me. That's workplace harassment. She goes, don't start with me. I'm about to start my period. I didn't want to know that. That's disgusting. Wow. Okay. What did you say? I said, don't touch my coffee. I said, get your fucking period fingers off my goddamn coffee. Have you been applicating tampons all day? You're going to get it in my damn coffee. All right? This is disgusting. Have some respect. Okay?

Minoante here, you're talking about your period. Here we go. What's the characters name again? Bob O'Marley. You know, Bob O'Marleney don't fuck with, but you know Jamaican, Irish. Don't fuck with periods, though. You know that, right? Jamaican Irish don't fuck with periods out

Anyway Yo church announcements The announcements are a very important part Of what we do in church Miami all the shows sold out this weekend Thank you all so much We'll see you Portland We added another show Thursday

So make sure you get those tickets Theaidsshows.com Then we got some other shows we've added Reading PA once The poorest city in all of the United States We're coming there Okay

Minneapolis Minnesota we added another show Tucson, Arizona, we got a show. Make sure you all come out. Buy your tickets. DeAndreshoulds.com. We added a bunch more cities. Mad or tour. Special tapings, all sold out, all four.

Very excited about that. Go check out what we got going on. DeAndresholts.com. Charla, take it over. My church announcements, I don't even like doing these because things change so much. But tomorrow, I'm supposed to be. I'm scheduled to be on Aaron Burnett out front.

That could change because it just. the news is always breaking. And I'm definitely going to be on Stephen Colbert tomorrow night. O'i! Sluop to my guy, Stephen Colbert. It's like my 8th and 9th time on the show. South Carolina privilege. It is what it is.

That's my guy. And also, go to my YouTube page, watch the interview that I put up with our guy, Pete Davidson. Yes. Guy Cole, alumni, Pete Davidson. He's still on SNL, but that could change tomorrow, too. It could be formally of SNL. but yeah, go check that interview out, slew to everybody,

that interview, it got reposted a lot of different places, yo. And it's so interesting. I was having this conversation. I might have been having it with Pete, but I was saying how it is so hard to get people to give a fuck about you. Yes.

So even though it's annoying as shit, I understand if you're a Pete Davidson and anybody, one of these people that, they're always getting followed and paparazzi popping up to your house or wherever you add and shit like that. that I know it's annoying. Yep.

But is it annoying when you put out your stand-up special? And those same blog sites are reposting that shit everywhere. Right. Like, when he announced his stand-up special,

I saw that shit everywhere. When he announced the big-time adolescence Hulu trailer, I saw that shit everywhere. The special came out yesterday. I see these same sites that are reporting on his love life

and everything else, reporting on the things he says in his special. Yeah. You have to take the good with the bad, man. It's true. Because trust me, it's people out there

that nobody gives a fuck about. That's why when you see these celebrities and they're trying to do shit like these stunts just to get people talking because they think once they get on the radar of these certain blogs and everything else they'll always be on the radar these blogs

and in a lot of cases it's true that's why like you know Pete had it happen organically for him with Ariana Grande but you see that they try to do these matchmaking things like hey date this guy for a little while or date this girl for a little while What you mean by that?

They do that. Like celebs do that, you're saying? Yeah, PR people. Yes, come on, man, absolutely. So they'll tell certain celebrities to date each other because people have a fascination of relationships. People have a fascination of relationships. And then once you hot like that,

you kind of always hot like that. And is that how the Ariana Grande relationship happened? No, no, I think that was genuine. You know what I'm saying? But I'm saying, like, after I say, it happened for him organically. Because you look at it. Think about anybody. Think about, yo, don't get me wrong.

Brad and Angelina and Jen superstar. But you're still talking about that shit 30, fucking 40 years later. Yeah, we have a fascination with relationships. Rihanna and Chris Brown, they was together and you're still talking about them and who they're dating now and who they care about. But it's always that.

It always started with that. Yeah. Not saying that they don't have other things around them that keep people in their orbit, but you got to get that spark started. Some fucking hell. Yeah. You know?

And a lot of times that's the case. So, no, you're right about Pete. He does have a magnetism. It's very interesting. Like, people are curious about his life and invested and interested in his life, almost in the same way, like, in Europe where they're invested in, like, royal families.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, it's like, he's kind of like the, like, step, not stepson, but like the, not the heir to the throne, just like a nephew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of the king who's, like, fucking up. But you're really curious because he's got royal blood

and you want to know what's going on his life. And it's just, it's, it's, he's had this fascinating ride for me, because most of the things that we know him from are not comedy. They're dating celebs or dealing with mental health or dealing with these different things. I mean, it started with comedy, right? Because a guy called wild and out. I mean, he is, I'm sure still, but very funny, like very funny guy.

He got SNL. He got SNL because of his talent. Because his talent, man. He got all the things because of his talent. He got a really young. He started getting pussy because of S&L. Eh. You know what I'm saying?

Right, right, right, right. So it's like the comedy talent got him on S&L, put him in a different position. Now it's these women at home, like, oh, he's kind of cute. I'd like to know who that is. And then, you know, he connects with these women. Yeah. It's really not his fault. But it's also, it's a superpower, right?

Because nobody gives a fuck about Kevin Federline. Right. You know what I'm saying? So you can date one of the biggest stars in them. Thank you, Taylor. You can date one of the biggest stars in the world and nobody will care. So you can't get too down on yourself and say, like, oh, they only fuck with you because Ariana Grande. Nah, that's not true.

Because where the fuck is. Kevin Federer. Him, but it's another one. Sure. Who the fuck was Kim Kardashian married to before Kanye, the ball player? Chris Humphreys. Oh, Chris Humphreys. Do I give the fuck?

Yeah. And he's bawling. He got like 10 fast food restaurants. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's bawling. I can't remember what the restaurant is, but he's got a, he's big in the fast food world. Is that right?

But nobody cares is what I'm saying. Yeah. And the beauty, you got to take the good with the bad. When they give a fuck about you, just give them more things to give a fuck about. To a certain extent, right? Like, there's, I don't know. I think, I don't know. Content is what I'm saying.

Yeah, no, content, yes. And I just don't think you want to monetize tragedy. And that's where, like, I push back. Because certain people, I think they get, and I'm not saying this of Pete, I don't know really enough about Pete's situation to know it. But like, you know, the real housewives people, I think monetize tragedy, right?

It's like, they got arrested. One of them's going to jail. And all of a sudden there's a special before he goes, a jail or she goes to jail, whatever. And it's just like, ah, you're doing anything to stay in front the limelight because you don't have a skill. Pete's different. He has a skill. Yeah. So my thing has always been like, well, just showcase the skill, bro. Like, it's hard. Because of fuck who you date or anything. It's just showcase a skill. You got a real skill. I get what you're saying. Should this be the bucket segment?

Up to you, man. Let's do the bucket. It's bucket segment. It's big pussy segment. What do we call it? Oh, bucket talk. We'll come back. We'll come back to shit to who don't care about next week. Bucket talk, right? Yeah, yeah. It's deep, the deep dive. Yeah, right? it's hard not to monetize tragedy. And I'll tell you why. Because your greatest commodity is you. So if you've been through something, whether you're a musician, a comedian, a writer,

whatever the fuck it is, you can only tell your story, right? So if you've been through something tragic and you're not over it, you've got to talk about that. And even if you are over it or you're in the process of healing, you've got to talk about that too. Because that's what helps you heal, right? Let me clarify.

You always have your life to mind and talk about. It's how you are digested that matters. So it's like I love comics. I love musicians. I love all these people that take the things in their lives, you know, myself included, and then put it into their work. And then I love digesting the work. But I don't care who Adele is dating.

I care about that breakup song. You know what I mean? But you don't get the breakup song. Without her dating. I'm not saying don't date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying don't date. But there are certain people that will, like, have their PR company call the fucking

paparazzi and be like, yo, they're coming off the airplane right now, blah, blah, blah. Like, that's never going to be me. Like, I don't need a paparazzi to find me out to dinner with somebody because I want there to be drama because I might be on a date with this girl. But as you continue to grow, it's going to happen naturally. Listen, it might happen naturally. But my whole thing is I'm going to give you the content because I believe in the content. Absolutely.

And, like, to be honest, we're both similar in this way in that, like, we have our private love lives. Absolutely. You know, me and you. No, I'm just kidding. Don't tell our secrets. I knew they was gay. You hush. I knew they was gay.

When you see my phone ringing it says ivory and you see Andrews ringing and says Ebony, you know who we are. You're trying to play some piano? You know, Mr. Vianna? Our group name is the black-eyed keys. Right? No, but like, we've kept those things away from the lot. We haven't really monetized our relationships, right? And people can, and it's very effective to monetize relationships.

Yeah, I'm not with it. I'm not with it either. I like having that part of it, right? So, but we also have a confidence in our work and the output, which is, yo, if we want attention, we want eyes, we'll give you that work. Like, this is. Yeah, I'm with you, man. That's not an issue. The crazy thing about it, though, right?

It's like you can be doing all the work. And you never know how much people care about your outside shit until outside shit happens. And it can be some bad outside shit. Next to, you know, you're all over. People talk about talking about. You're like, what the fuck? The same thing about about Diante Wilder.

Like, Deonté probably never realized how many motherfuckers gave a fuck about him because they didn't talk about him in that way when he was out there busting ass. They spoke about him, but not like that. Yeah. Now, as soon as you do some shit that people don't agree with, or you say something people don't agree with, or you get arrested, whatever.

Now you're all over the news, you're all over the blogs. And you're like, well, what the fuck? Yeah. Why don't I get this kind of love and this kind of attention when I'm just putting out the content, you know? And I also think that a lot of this stuff,

it runs parallel, right? Like, what you're talking about Adele? You don't care who's Del dating. But if you're, just look at it as a timeline. Comes out in the blogs, just say Adele's dating, I don't know, whatever. I think they were dating some UK rapper. But I forgot who it was.

Not Stormsiest. Skepto. Skepta. Skepta, I think it was. So, Dayton's skepta, right? So you're watching that. Then you see the pictures of them and stuff like that. And then, you know, you're happy for them, right?

But then when they break up, Adele puts out that record, it feels like you've been watching a story. Yeah. It's like watching a beginning, then a middle, then an end. Like, even with Ariana and Pete, it's like, you watch that. They got engaged. You're like, oh, shit and Arianna engaged. That's the shit, whatever, whatever.

Then it's the breakup. And like, oh, shit, they broke up. Then it's the, thank you next. You know what I'm saying? Now Pete with his stand-up special, it's just like it kind of all just goes with each other in this era. You kind of need it all. Yeah, Al brought up another one, Taylor Swift.

I mean, I think if your primary goal is with your relationships as content, then if that's your primary goal, it's a very effective way to put it out. But, you know, my primary goal with my relationship is to have a family and have someone I could share that with and love and raise kids in a way that I think would help, you know, change the world. You could change the world literally through your children, right? Like, you actually get to see the world change because you have some people you could raise with ideas that you want. That to me is far more important than like, yo, look how fun a couple we are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know people that monetize their coubleness. And my feeling on that is like, you're putting crazy pressure on yourselves to be in a great mood and a great place all the time. Like relationships are hard enough as it is. I don't need a million Instagram followers going, oh my God, I love you all together. Y'all are so happy all the time. Like, fuck that.

That's got to be rough, right? That's rough. Like, because you can't be real. You got to act in your own relationship. You guys are fighting, but on vacation, you got to smile in a photo because you need some fucking likes on Instagram. No, dude. It's got to be rough for those people once they break up, too,

because if you get the label of somebody who is, you know, using your situations as content, It's like, I can't trust you. I don't know what's real and what's not real. Next person you date is like, are they just cloud chasing? Yeah, man, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I get everything you're saying.

That's why I'm glad that Pete's to the point where, you know, now he's, you're going to see a lot of content from Pete. I love that. The special, the movie, like, do that, man. Netflix special is out of now live from New York. The movie Big Time Adolescence comes out next month with Machine Gun Kelly and Jordan Rock. Loves me and Jordan get his look in a film.

The Machine Gun, Kelly. He's a great actor. I love Jordan, man. King of Staten Island is fucking great. He's in Suicide Squad, too. Like, it's just a lot. He's killing it. He picked the right time to talk shit about S&L.

Yes. He picked the right time to express his displeasure about S&L. Because it's like, fuck you money, right? Yeah. You may not have fuck you money, but you got fuck you opportunities. What is your take on SNL? I feel like... Ben trash.

So, okay, remember, I don't know, you remember when, like, Dane Cook became... like a punchline. Like, Dane Cook was this incredibly successful comedian, right? Like, he sawed out the garden. He was the first person who really used the internet in a way to, like, promote himself. And then, like, sometimes what happens with guys is, like, they just become uncool and they become, like, a punchline. Like, it was in fucking Will Ferrell movie.

Dane seemed like the type of person who was, like, the first internet comic that nobody respected. Yes. Yes, yes. And it was, and it was, I think it was kind of unfair. But, again, it might have been the similar Deonté Wilder's situation. where it's like, oh, wow, like, you can't wait to tear a guy down. And then when he does come down, it's a lot of fun. And everybody went at him.

I agree with you because I didn't even realize Dan Cook was that pop until people started shitting on him. I'm not even lying. But it became this thing that was like fun and okay to shit on or whatever, right? He was on SNL? No, no, he wasn't. Oh, okay, got you guys. And I feel like SNL is almost becoming the new version of that

where it's like, I've yet to see. or hear anybody say anything complimentary about SNL SNL is, I'm going to tell you what SNL is SNL is like American Idol Remember how big American Idol was? Yeah. The reason American Idol was so big

is because American Idol was actually producing stars. There was a period in SNL where they weren't produced, we were used to them churning out stars. Eddie Murphy, Will Ferrell, fucking Maya Rudolph, is that her name? The Maya Rudolph, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like there was the time where all of that was... Chevy Chevy Chevee. Bill Murray. That's what I mean. Like, there was a period where they weren't doing that no more. It was like college for being a star. Yeah. You went there, you put your time in, and then you were a fucking superstar after that.

And then you're saying that stopped. It stopped. And then once that stopped... And I'm not going to say it stopped completely, but it wasn't as lucrative as it once was. It was a point where they was just like, whoa, it's this. This is the fucking farmhouse for fucking superstars. It's just so weird. Because I know I have friends who work on the show who are fucking funny and talented.

And I don't watch it. So I can't tell you that it's horrible. But I have yet to meet somebody. Is it that bad? Like I try to defend it. I'm like, bro, it can't be that fat. I know funny people to work on the show. But literally any person you meet, it's like, they're like, oh, yeah, S&L is horrible.

It's unwatchable. And it's like, how can it be that bad? I watch SNL because I have people on SNL. Like, Pete is our guy, you know what I'm saying? I like Michael Chey. I don't know it personally, but I like him. You know what I like Chris. You know, I like Leslie when she was on there.

I love Colin Jost, man. I like Weekend Update with Colin Jocke's and Michael Chee. So I watch it. I like Pete. I watch the show. Yeah. But it's garbage. Is it?

I mean, I try to defend, but I can't defend it because I don't watch it. But I also can't shit on it because I don't watch it. I'll just see a sketch every once in a while on YouTube. And, you know, sometimes the sketches are funny. I see, like, the debate sketches, hilarious. Yeah. That shit, the debate, when, for whatever reason, when they're in a political bag, it's all right.

That shit has been really good. The casting is good. The Black Jeopardy one? But that was a special episode. See, to me, those are special episodes. Okay. Because Black Jeopardy was fucking, who was that? That was Eddie Murphy, right?

No. Chowick Bowman. No, Black Jeopardy was, um, I think it was Chadwick Bowesman. I think it was Chadwick Bowesman. I mean, this is bad that we can't remember. They've done it a few times. I think Eddie might have done one with Black Jamper.

I know Chadwick Bowman did one. And that's another thing, right? SNL over the year, their hosts have gotten a lot more diverse. So I find myself watching it. I watched it when Chadwick Bowesman hosted. I watched it actually went when Tiffany had his host. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the one that exploded was the Tom Hanks one, right? Because that was the one where they basically showcase like, oh, the real conservative right-wing people like real conservative right-wing whites and like Southern blacks actually liked all the same shit I like my women thicker

I like you know corn brain or whatever like they it was a really interesting when you take these two groups you think we have nothing in common you realize oh shit they got everything in common it was really brilliant and I guess maybe it's hard to recreate one of those every week or something

but it's just such a weird time in comedy when like you never hear this sentence man, I just love SNL. Isn't that a weird time in comedy? I can play White Devils Advocate, right? All right, go.

And I can say the reason SNL sucks is because it's just simply too hard to do sketch nowadays because nothing beats this fucking shit you see on your phone. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like nothing beats those real life

stupid-ass shit you see on your phone. Like the dumb shit we just turn on and laugh at that's happening in real life. Yeah. You can't duplicate that shit. Back in the day, sketch is all we have. A podcast.

You don't laugh more times listen to a podcast. Then you will watch an S&L. Do you? I don't watch it. So I don't, is that the case? Bro, SNL sucks. I can tell you.

Eddie Murphy was good on S&L because Eddie Murphy is Eddie Murphy. Right. And you can tell, by the way, level of talent too. I'm going to tell you why. Because you can see how a level of talent can elevate something.

So when, ooh, this is interesting. So when the level of talent, are you saying that they don't have the level of talent necessary to pull off the show? I guess I am because, you know, when I talk about how they're not producing the stars they once did, right? That's true.

So if they're not producing the stars you once did, then the level of talent just ain't, it's not there. Like, yo, it's certain people that pop on screen. Like, Michael Chey, to me pops on screen. I love Michael Chey. I think Michael Chey and Colin Jobs Weekend Up Day should be a whole other show. Interesting. Just a whole other 30-minute show.

I think they tried to do that at one point. But to me, that should be just a whole other show that they do. They could compete with Trevor Noah and the Daily Show or whatever. Like, I think it's that good. I don't think it does Mike justice. I think Mike's like a really brilliant comedic mind. They should be on cable. That weekend update show with Colin and Michael should be on cable and they should just be going.

I don't think it does justice to Mike. That kid is fucking a comedic genius. And he's doing like one-liners. Like, so like anytime you got to watch his stand-up to know how good he is. He's doing one-liners because that's what the role of that weekend update thing is. But if you watch his stand-up stand-up, stand-up, it's fucking great. But it pains me because I'm looking at them like, oh, this is what people think you do on stage probably.

No, I got you. They think you just do one-liners. I got you. When you're comedy's way more dynamic. I got you. I got a shout out, Crystal. I think Chris is good. I think Keenan is good.

And I'm not just naming all black people. I just really think that. I really think, at Sketch, I think Keenan is great. Yo, Kenan's been killing it, man. Yes. For 19 years. Yeah, he's been killing it. And hasn't gained a pound.

But hasn't lost one either. He has remained. medium fat for a long time. You got to give him props on that. You know how hard it is to be medium fat? Dude, that is amazing. For people to look at you and be like, you're one burger away, you need to slow down.

But you never eat that one burger away? Take discipline. Either way. Your one burger away from being slim and trim. You would think one year and 19 years, you would go, I'm going to get fit. Or one year you go, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

No. Keenan has been going back and forth with, I don't give a fit fuck. But fucking 19 years, you got sweat-pant body. 19 years, man. 19 years. Dude, he needs to accolade. He does.

His metabolism figured out what he is. Yes. Like his metabolism. Maybe he eats to that. Because, you know, you can go to these dietitians and they'll tell you exactly what to eat. That's good for your body. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he eats for his size.

So Keenis just asks his diet. How do I look almost like shit? I don't want to look like shit. I want to look almost. Like, how do we do that? How do I look just good enough? Flut the Keenan. Kenan's like, look, look, look.

I just want to be fit enough to be in shape, but fat enough to play Charles Barkley. You know, what if he's just committed to the roles? If he gets too skinny, he might not be able to play these certain people. Wow. Yo, we got a really salute Keenan, bro. Shout out to Keenan Thompson, man. It's very, very impressive that you won burgo away and never got there

and you were the star a good burger. You know how hard it is? They're not want to eat a fucking hamburger When you to star a good burger? Burgers must not been that good. Who wasn't the star good burgers? Who, Cal? Keenan and Cal!

They were a duo. I know, but don't make it this seem like Keena was on it. I see he's one of the stars. He was a star. Keenan and Kel. Damn, yeah. Yeah, damn, you know. You get, your decision making is fucked up when you're on your period, yo.

You know, we're talking about breakups? We'll talk, man. You're about to, I think it might be here. No, don't talk about period. A lot of ketchup on that burger. Yeah, what? Don't do that burger. You know.

No, no, you brought up your period. We talk about burgers and you start talking about period, Joe. Don't tell us how you keep your men in Philly by putting a little period blood in their fool. We won't hit ass chick, Ella. That's crazy. All right, this is a good segue in the shit

you won't care about next week because we won't care about Taylor's period next week because it won't be here. I can't wait until that shit that's gone, though. It's not even here. I'm already tired of it. Do you think? Yes.

Two things about the fight. Do you think why this team was wrong for throwing in the towel? No, I think they should have thrown in earlier. Do you think Wadda's wrong to fire this trainer? Did he fire him? What? Which one?

I think Mark Brunel. He fired the black trainer? Mr. Black History Month? Mr. Black Power? Mr. Black Keyes fired the Black trainer who was trying to save his goddamn life? Don't quote me on that. This could be some Elizabeth Warren shit, but I heard. Oh, come on, though.

I think I heard that somewhere. Well, he could be permanently injured for the rest of his life. Like, listen, Tyson Fury is 275 pounds. That's another thing I heard his father. talking about. He said, Tyson would always want to get down to like 250 because he wanted like the body of a boxer. And his father was like, you're not built to look like that. He basically like you're not built to look good. You're built to be a destroyer. You're built to look like Kenan. You're fit fat. You're fit fat. You're fit fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Call fit fat fat. Call fit fat, bro. The fit bit. The fit bit is chunky, but not too chunky. But it don't fit. It don't fit. It felt like a Chanel bracelet, like it's open at the bottom. Fit fat. So. A fit fat bit would be so fucking funny. Tyson Fit Fat Fury. No,

the fit fat bit, right? It only counts the calories you consume. That's it. It's not the ones you lose. Bro. Come on, Taylor.

You know what I mean? Right when you're about to eat. You can't even laugh. I'm about to shoot out like a heartproof. Right when you're about to get to that, to that uncomfortable calorie intake. for the day, that's when it starts beeping. But does it beep?

Or does it start breathing like fat people? No, no. It goes, merrr. It reminds you what you're turning into. It reminds you, you, too, could be a trans cow. Relax. All right. So his father said, when Tyson's at 270 pounds, he punches like a fucking beast.

We saw. And we saw, and so it was a different game. I don't know how we got to this, though. Oh, that was the shit you won't care about next week. Last thing about... Oh, Fire and a Changer. The biggest bullshit that Wilder said was, and I hated this, because if you don't make excuses, we honor you because you gave it your everything.

That's right. When you make excuses, now we don't have to honor you. And he said, my costume weighed 40 pounds. Yeah, that hurt. 40 pounds. This guy is one of the greatest living athletes. Yeah, that hurt. In top physical shape.

He can't carry 40 pounds for 10 seconds. That hurt, man. You know why it hurt because he's blaming Black History Month What was he saying? He blamed Black History Month That was a Black History Month costume So you're basically saying

I wore this for y'all Wow And lost Because I wanted to celebrate Black History Month, bro Like I didn't That, I'm gonna be honest with you I don't believe he said that

Really? I haven't seen it anywhere We haven't seen no video of it Haven't heard no audio That's just something that came out I don't believe he said that yo I ain't seen no tweet about it I ain't see him saying on Instagram

I don't believe Deont Wadde would go out like that. I refuse to believe Deonté Wilder would blame losing on his 45-pound costume. 40 pounds? And let me ask you a question. If you're Tyson Fury for the next fight, do you walk to the ring holding two 20-pound dumbbells? Oh, that's what I would. Or a 40-pound kilt? Or a 40-pound coat? Any from Irish? No, he's a... Okay. Never mind me. He's a, well, he's an Irish traveler. Okay. Known as a gypsy, but he's from England. So what do gypsies wear? Whatever gypsies? He's wearing, get a 45-pound one.

45-pound. Yeah. Carry a 45-pound Winnebago around your neck. They're loving that fucking Winnebago. You come out dragging a Winnebago. That's it! Tyson Fury come out dragging a fucking Winnebago, bro. We should be Don King in this shit, dog.

We should be Don King in this shit, man. Damn. We got to get into fight promoting. Do you think people have a problem? This is shit you don't care about next week. Do you think it's a problem that people are selling Kobe? merchandise on eBay from the memorial for insane prices.

Like the Kobe, instead have a Kobe Memorial bundle that goes between $3,000 and $5,000. You get the official Kobe T-shirt from the memorial. And the guy sold it for 2025. And people were selling tickets for either $24 or $224 each. Hold on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the money went to the Mamba Foundation. But do you think people are wrong for selling the merchandise? If they donate the money, no. I don't think they're wrong for it, even if they don't donate it. Really? Bro, it's America. It's capitalism. It's capitalism.

We live in a capitalist society. Something has value. You sell it. I mean, people were selling like Twin Tower picks like weeks after. Bro, are people buying them? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Now, do I think it's, I wouldn't even call it tasteless. Would I do it? No. Because to me, if I went to the memorial, that means Kobe Bryant, mean something to me. And I know a lot of people wanted to be at that memorial. They got in.

They got the memorabilia. They got the t-shirt. Like, they should hold on to that. Yes, I agree. But you'd be able to sell it lets me know that it didn't really mean anything to you so why are you here.

Right. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I agree. But I'm not mad at the people that are selling it. Like, they don't have any attachment to it. And by the way, if I spend

$5,000... Are you profiting off of it? Are you profiting off of the death of somebody? I think that's what it is. Profiting off of the death. What is, is that okay? We had this, talking about it, monetizing tragedy. What was CNN doing when they played the memorial service?

Bro, that's a great point. What was BET doing when they had-the-N-T monetizes tragedy. BETT had Mark Lamont Hill and Jamel Hill hosting the whole thing. They did a whole special. So, like, everybody monetized the tragedy. And you were selling commercials on that special, weren't you? You had an ad team that was calling up Target and calling up Applebee's and saying, hey, would you like to buy a spot on the Kobe Memorial?

What do you have planned? Beyonce's the opening singer. Oh my God. We have remarks from Rock, Winkler, and Shaquille O'Neal and Michael Jordan and Alicia Keys is going to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Vanessa Bryan is going to talk. Can I say something right now? It's a podcast. So yeah?

Yeah. We can't have Taylor on her period here anymore. No, I'm still. No, no. We are so fucking fortunate that we get to do something ethical for a living. It's subjective. Like, at least for me, like for a living, we get to entertain, make people laugh, make people think,

and give people like a nice chunk of distraction and a day that might as well suck. There are some people whose job it is to sell ads on the fucking Kobe Bryant Memorial, dude. And like, that's got away on you, B, B, B. I did watch the, I didn't watch the memorial on BT, so I don't know if they had ads. the sponsorships. I did watch it on CNN. They didn't break for commercials. But it doesn't matter

because you can have blocks around it. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Brought to you by Colgate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, listen, I can't even say it's unethical. I get what you saying. I just think that's just the world we live in me. Like, you can't, you can't help it. Yeah. Like, the news says if it bleeds, it leads. Like, that's what the news is based on. I accept it. I guess what I'm saying is I'm just grateful that we get to operate around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we report on shit too, though. You know what I'm saying? We report on things, but it's our choice to talk about it. We give opinions on things. We don't have to. We don't have to talk about anything. If we don't

want to talk about something, we don't do it. Yeah. We're not doing it for the sole purpose of selling an ad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Matter of fact, we were doing this podcast before we had any ads, and then companies approached us and they say, hey, we noticed that a lot of people listen to your podcast. We would love to sponsor your podcast. And then we go, Okay. Yeah, it's a fine line. I don't know exactly what that fine line is, but I get exactly what you're saying.

I understand it. News you won't care about next week. Coronavirus, baby. They say it's spreading. What? If you're not going to put your lips on the microphone, Taylor. I want you to produce in real time. What did you say?

Go, say it. You all have from that. What's this attitude, yo? It's called. What is it? Bloody Mary. What? It's called Crimson Tide.

What? It's called Red Rover, Red Rover, Red Rover, Where For Art Down? That's not what it's that. That's fucking Shake a spear, bro. I did Lahty Spear. That's what I just did just now. You know, I don't want to mention that his parents weren't mentioned in the memoir. That's not true.

Oh, because he don't, what? It's not true. They were mentioned. They were there, but they weren't. Shaq shouted them out, Roblinca shot at them out. No, no, no. I'm talking about when they did the pictures and everything. They didn't show him.

Pictures of what? Kobe with his parents' sisters. Because he had like in a strange relationship with them, right? I know, but still. Let me tell you how lies started, right? First, people said, why weren't Kobe's parents there? Kobe's parents were right there. Okay.

His mom and dad, his sisters. But no, people were saying that initially. Like, why Kobe parents were there? Then they were like, Kobe's parents didn't speak. Maybe they didn't want to. Maybe they didn't want to. That's their child. They're not public speakers.

I'm shocked Vanessa when I'm shocked Vanessa could go up there. And let those bars. I'm just saying, in general, they didn't put them in the pictures, none of that. Like, you didn't see no type of. What pictures? Why you focus on the negative? What pictures? Why you focus on negative instead of all the positive that came out of this? The shit people won't care about.

I'm going to tell you some other pictures I ain't see. What's that? The other people that died on that plane. Oh, shit. It was a helicopter, but that's all good. You're right. Of course, but it was about Kobe at that moment, people that surrounded it. So you basically.

saying get your own memorial. That's what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, get your own memorial. Wow. That's fucking crazy, bro. You and your period, I don't like this tale. Yeah, this tale is different. Is this your first period? Wow.

Have you timed your periods around the podcast? Real talk. His bucket is red. This is full. This shit is crazy. This bucket is full of chums. Muddy. You know what I mean?

It's dangerous right now. You throw this off the side of a boat when you want to attract sharks. Yeah. Yo, for real, Taylor, I'm not playing around, dog. All right, things you won't care about next week. Coronavirus. Yo, they say it's coming, bro. They say it's here.

I didn't know that was 57 cases in America. There's what? I found this out this morning, bro. 57 cases in America already. And that's not including the Chinatowns? Whoa. Because let's be honest, none of us know what the fuck going on in China Town. I don't know where it's at, bro.

Yo, we need to have a serious conversation. What do you mean we're close to China? China's everywhere. There's always a Chinatown town. There's a Chinatown in every city? Every city. I know. I'm saying right now.

Yo, this is not a game. This coronavirus shit is not a game, bro. Is it? Bro, this is how arrogant Americans are. We don't think it could fuck with us. It feels like Ebola. Yeah. It feels like we, remember we was all in arms.

No, of course it. Of course it don't feel like a bolla to you, trans Asian, Chris Morrow. Of course it's a pandemic. Come here, Chris. You want to talk about the pandemic that is Ebola? I mean, coronavirus? virus. Now keep in mind in case you're just joining us, Chris is our resident

trans Asian. He's married to a beautiful Asian woman. He has two beautiful Asian daughters. Chris, you're in front of all the cameras, man. Have you not been to the podcast? Chris, Chris knows all things China. Come right here. Come right here. Hit his drop, Taylor. Hit that drop. Hit the drop.

We don't have time for this, Chris. We'll have time for political correctness. Hit that drop. Hit that fucking drop, you know. Hit that fucking Dan-da-da-da-da-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-d-d-d-th. Chris, tell us why the coronavirus is not Ebola. Because it's already surpassed what Ebola was.

I mean, the problem is it's probably much worse than whatever China says it is. If China says 70,000 people have it and 2,000 have died, that means 200,000 have died and 500,000 people have it. Why? Are you saying that they're underreporting it severely? Why? Why? Why is they think that everybody looks similar and they don't know if it's the same case or if it's different cases? It's the way the Chinese operate.

They lie. They try to underreport stuff. They try to downplay stuff. They never want there to be a national tragedy and national situation because they're worried about the whole country falling apart. But if you don't know how bad something is, you can't properly fix it though, right? True. And I'm not saying it's the right way to handle. It's the wrong way to handle.

It's too, like, I mean, the city where it started and Wuhan is a city, it's bigger. It's 11 million people. It would be like the second big. city in America or whatever. And for a month before they even addressed it, you had millions and millions of people streaming out of this city every day, flights, trains, everywhere. So the problem is even if they get it under control in China,

now it's in Iran. They have a big outbreak in Iran. They have a really big outbreak going on in Italy right now. They've shut down a suburb of 50,000 people. No one can come in and come out. What? Oh, yeah, in Italy. How do you get it?

Well, it's spread very easily And the biggest problem with it... How does it spread? Like, we know how to get AIDS. It's the same shit. If they tell you, wash your hands, use hand sanitizer. But the problem with this as compared to other viruses that have spread is you can have it for two weeks, not show any symptoms. And then, boom.

So you might not even feel bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a big one. It's like herpes. It's a big one. So the other thing you've got to think about is for the last month, forget about the medical ramifications of it. Yeah. For the last month.

No one has gone out in Beijing outside, shopped, spent money, gone to factories. Whoa. Oh, it stops the economy down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All these major cities in China where the vast majority of the shit that we get produced, that's all coming from there. No one's going to work. We haven't felt it yet, but it's going to hit us soon.

Oh, America needs that humbling, bro. Well, we're about to. What humbling? That humbling, bro. America needs that humbling because it's going to be fucked up. Because think about it, you going to be. First of all, a lot of us don't know how to do shit. You don't think we can get someone else to make a shirt?

What do you mean? You don't think we can go to some other country and get our shirts? If you got to stay in your house for a month, you can't call Uber Eats because you might bring the fucking virus in. Oh, oh, oh. Exactly. I felt you're like, what are we going to do without Chinese products? No. You're talking about what are we going to do with them?

If you got to stay home. Well, it's like, so they say that, for instance, the surgical masks that you see everybody wearing. They say that's not worth shit. That doesn't do anything. I knew it wasn't worse shit this whole fucking time. I didn't know what that is. An N95 masks. Is that like Disney Plus?

I guess. It actually has a filter. So I already went in, I guess, late January and bought my N95. Why don't you didn't tell nobody? You didn't tell anybody about it. Have you ever fucked unprotected with the mask on? I have not.

So, but for instance, I went online last night to try to get an N90 more. And they sold out? You can't get them anywhere in the world. You can't even get the cheap surgical masks anywhere. They want us to get this fucking virus, you know. They want us to get this fucking virus, hell. They want us to get this virus. Say what?

It'll take a year. Where's the vaccines? It'll take a year. Where's the vaccine? You know the virus was made in the lab, right? That's what they say. It has to be. Because all the vaccines are out now.

The biggest bio weapons facility in China is where? Wuhan. Wuhan. Got you all in check. One of the theories is they perform experiments on animals in this facility. Right. And you're supposed to cremate the animals at the end of the experiment. except we know that in China, unfortunately, there's a black market for all these different animals.

Chris, Chris, you have permission to say it. You are part Asian. So the theory is... Say it. Say it. I'm not talking about dogs. I'm talking about everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do they do with those things, Chris? What do they do with those things? Unfortunately, there's a theory that instead of cremating it like you're supposed to when you perform experiments in a lab... They sold to meat. They might have been sold on the black market. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's how it's spread. And the theory is that if you look at it, you're supposed to...

on the Chinese end who's handling the response. It's the general in charge of biochemical weapons. Just give me the GMO meat, man. See what I'm saying? I would much rather have my meat full of GMO than fucking coronavirus. Come on, man. I mean, look, I hope it's Ebola. I hope it's

Zika. I hope it doesn't come. I'm be honest with you. We forgot about Zika. See, we forgot about Zika. There have been a lot of these pandemics that are big news for a couple of weeks. Get your fucking people in check. I'm working. Get your people in check. They have to create the cure when they create the weapon, right? Because I think World War III is coming. And I think they're gearing up for it. And they

created some fucking shit that got out of their hand. So I would think that they would have to cure it because they would have to know something like this could happen, right? Maybe. Or maybe we knew that World War III was coming and we got to cripple the Chinese economy. How do we do it? We release some virus that's going to take motherfuckers out. Maybe. Maybe. Now you've got a few less, few million less people. Maybe. Or your China and you had this one child policy where you can only have one kid. And now you got all these men that are of age to get married, but no women for them to marry. So maybe you got to thin out the population by releasing some virus is going to take out all

these people. Shultz. I agree with you, bro. I'm going to tell you something, man. I really, okay. People, people, like, yo, nobody wants to, like, put two and two together. But, like, think about the last big plague, right? The black plague.

Medieval times in Europe, right? What followed that? The Renaissance. Thanos is ripe. And they called it to Black plague. Why is that? Because at the time, you know, black, well, still to this day, but black people were looked down upon.

We were looked at as the plague of the Earth. No, because it made you black. I'm going somewhere with this, though. Oh, my bad. Because I think in 2020, Hey, I'm sorry about that. The Americans created the coronavirus. Ah.

Where is Corona made? In Mexico. Come on. Oh, I think Trump named it before he knew where it was from. Oh, come on. Tequila virus didn't have the same ring to it. It don't have it. It don't have it.

You know what I'm saying? No. No, no, no. Coronavirus. Son, pass me a limes. Get a coronavirus. Give it to the Mexican, I mean, give it to the Chinese. Yep.

Chinese get mad at the Mexicans. What? Now you're fighting each other. We don't got to fight them. Come on. No more Mexican Asian fusion restaurants. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

Not think about that. He got a good point. Come on. Who is making all the Chinese food? Say it. Mexicans. Coronavirus. Brilliant idiots, ladies and gentlemen.

We did it? Did we do it? Chris just left. Chris just left. Chris just walked away. We got him. We got him? We went too far? It's the brilliant idiots, baby.

Hey, hit Chris's go away song. Listen, if it sounds... If you don't have a smoke bomb sound... If it sounded smart, if it sounded stupid, it was supposed to. That's how we do. Now, things you won't care about next week. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Yes.

What do we think? He's guilty. You know what I mean? We should have put Bill Cosby under what a fucking idiot. Bill Cops. Bill posted from jail, he had his publicist post that what's happening to Harvey Weinstein is a travesty and his injustice.

Bro, you got no one to stand down. Come on, Bill. You got to know when to stand the fuck down. If you're trying to portray the perception of not being a rapist, Bill, don't come to the defense of somebody who got just as much rapes under their belt as you. Come on.

Come on. Both of y'all can't be innocent. Come on. Come on. Come on. Stop. No, we're not going to care, though. You think Wynston gets jail time?

Maybe. I don't know. He's one ugly man. You Harvey Wynaston? I don't know how any sex could be consensual with someone that ugly, bro. I'm literally, I'm literally looking at him and I'm like, who would agree anyway? Do you see what he was offering? What was he offering?

Fucking big time movie roles. Oscar nominated movie. movie rolls, blockbuster pictures. Come on, man. Brough. I'm just saying. Brough. You would? No.

Let me see when he's younger. You know what I mean? Let me see. Oh, my God. Look at him as an old man. That don't count. As young, yeah, he's too young. But look at that guy right there.

Yeah, man. I'm sorry. You rape. Yeah. I don't care what the girl said. That has got to be right. I mean, oh, God. What a hideous looking fucking human being.

Any woman that ever gave him consent, we need to lock her. You lie? Yeah, you blind. You must be. Is Helen Keller fucking you? How the hell are you getting laid ever? Yeah, man. You better offer an Oscar in a role. Let's end things you won't care about next week with Dion Cole.

What Dion do? Dion is upset because people were making fun of his bell bottoms. Dion came to the NAACP Awards with some bell bottoms on. And I'm not going to lie. At first I thought Dion was joking. And the reason I thought Dion was joking because Dion is a comedian who I find very funny. Yep. I did not think that Dion had thin skin.

How much do you have? Because I cannot listen to the whole 15 minutes of this shit. No, no, please, please, please, please. Okay, let's hear it. This is Dionne Cole. I thought he was joking, right? Yeah. Until I saw him go on Instagram and do a 15-minute rant.

Let's hear it. The part that I'm tripping over about this is the hate that I have been received. receiving because I wore a bell bottom velour velvet suit has been unreal. I've been told that I've been called a bitch-ass nigger, faggot. Motherfuckers have told me that women like, yeah, you ain't shit no more. You was my favorite comic. You're not no more. Muffugers have denounced me from being funny.

Like, nigga, you ain't even funny no more. Nigel, ain't nobody checking for you no more. Why a comedian so sensitive, bro? You kind of need the sensitivity to create the comedy, man. I know. He should know better than to talk on it, though. Usually comedians can take a roast well. He must have really went through it online, bro.

Here's the problem. Maybe he was insecure about them. You just said the key word. What's that? Online. Online. I think that if a comedian was getting roasted to his face by somebody else, he's in his element.

Yeah. You can take that fucking microphone. He can give him. them jokes back, light his ass up, light these motherfuckers up. It's the fact that you can't see these people. And I think it takes away your superpower, right? You're a comedian. Yes.

So if I'm clowning you online, but I'm Dionne Cole and I'm sitting at home, I don't know what you look like. I don't know what your profession is. I don't know what you do for a living. I don't have any material. That's right. I don't have no sauce material. You got to have you.

You handicapped me. You crippled me. So now I just feel helpless. Yeah. I just got to get on a fucking line and cry. Yeah, now you can never cry. Never be affected. You know what you got to do?

You got to wear a belt. Bottoms for the whole next week. You got to lean in. You got to lean into it. You're the bell bottom guy now. I never looked at Bell Bottoms is gay. Say what? I never looked at Bell Bottoms as gay.

Were they gay? No, not that I know of. Bell Bottoms was the shit back in the day. Yeah, you were cool if you had Bell bottoms. Bell bottoms in an Afro, you was getting all the pussy. All of it. Yeah, man. So I didn't look at it as crazy.

I just, I don't like to see that. That bothers me when I see comedians. That fucking sensitive, you're a comedian. But I understand why Dion felt so helpless in that moment. I promise you, there's not a motherfucker alive that can piss me off enough to take my phone, go live, and start yelling at that motherfucker. Never? No. No matter what.

You never seen me do it. It's not happening. And I've had some times where I've wanted to, okay? But that does absolutely nothing, all right? There's been plenty of times I wanted to open this goddamn phone, go live, and say, fuck all of y'all. Suck my dick. Okay? But I have not done it

You know why? Because I got a fucking therapist And I got people that I can vent to All right And I got this goddamn podcast In the radio show But you would not see me open up My motherfucking phone

Go live and scream at that shit I'm not showing weakness like that Yeah, it does show weakness You think that they're going to have sympathy for you, Deion? Yeah Now they're going to double down On the F word

Now they're going to run after it Yeah Yeah They're going to double down on the maggot Baby Yeah they're going to double down And now they really think you a maggot Because you're

Because you're crying. Yeah. Yes, man. Come on, man. Don't do that, Dion. So going live is almost like an admission. Going live is showing everybody they got to you.

Interesting. We grew up in the era of never let them see you sweat. Never. Now it's like, never let them see you tweet. Yeah. Never let them see you go live. Yeah. When you got some shit going on and it's bothering you and you've getting pushed to

that limit, go talk to somebody. Don't go on your fucking phone. I don't give a fuck. This don't do it. You look stupid. you never win. You're not going to get sympathy. Yeah, you might have some people that tweet you and be like,

that's what I'm talking about, Dion, these people are hateful, whatever, whatever. But it's going to be way more maggots in your comments, bro. There's going to be way more maggots in your comments, bro. And why do you think that is? What do you think it is about, what do you think it is about, like, people when we see someone do that? What does it look like to us? It's the same reason that when I can't speak, I can only speak for myself. Yeah.

When I was in school, and I was letting these jokes fly and I was teasing you. Yeah. Oh, if it's getting to you. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Twist a knife. Slow.

Slow. Oh, you pussy too? Oh, you stink and you pussy. Oh, you sneakers whack and you pussy? Like, I was a fucking terror. I would push you to that limit. I wanted to see you bug the fuck out. Because that made us all laugh even more.

Right. So that's all it is. Social media. And by the way, Dion Cole is somebody. He's on blackish. He's got the Netflix special. You know he's on the road.

He's making money. If me, regular old Joe, sitting in my motherfucking mama's house, can piss you off. What is the thing about energy, right? Energy's never lost to destroy just merely transfer from one party to the next. So if I feel miserable and bad,

I want to make you feel miserable and bad. I see you on fucking line at the NDACP Awards with your bell bottles. Hold up. Your life is so fucking good, Dionne Cole that you step out and. bell bottoms? You can just, you can wear whatever you want from any era. Who the fuck do you think you are? You maggot? You know what I'm saying? That's, I'm telling you, that's what people

think. Oh, you're not even trying to go with the flow. You're not participating in this group think that we all are participating in it. You're not wearing what everybody else is wearing. Who the fuck of you to be original? Who the fuck of you to try to be authentic? Why is your self-esteem so high, Dion, that you're the only nigger here with bell bottoms on? Oh, I'm gonna roast your ass up. I'm going to light you up. Because I'm sitting around miserable, fucked up, angry, bitter. I got to pass some of this energy to you.

And guess what? Fifteen minutes. You got on Instagram live, telling everybody how fucked up they all for getting at you. They won. They won. They fucking won. They won. They won. Let's pay some bills and come back with Askin an idiot. Talking about winning. Get your dicks hard, guys.

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with some Asking Idiot. What do we have today on the menu? Okay. These are some left for the last time? Oh, we didn't know new ones from this week? Oh, so you didn't do what you're supposed to do? Huh? I got you.

Fuck us. Okay. You think just because your periods on that we shouldn't have new freshen asking idiot this week? You forgot all that you would think that. You forgot that? You forgot that? That's fucked up.

That is fucked up. Like, wow. Low key. Maybe I have an Asking Idiot. We have the new Asking Idiots. Wow. What you've been doing. I can't fucking believe you, yo.

Yeah, yeah, that's fucked up. I can't, we can't answer week old questions, can we? Next week, if you got a weak old tampon, that should be fucked up, right? Yeah, you can have toxic shock syndrome. That's what I'm saying. I got toxic shock right now because I'm disappointed that. We got a week old question, yo. Oh, my God.

What? I can't believe you. What? What? Them new braids and the fucking freshly manicured eyebrows you got, really got you feeling yourself, Taylor? Yeah, that's true. I knew you did some into your eyebrows.

Did you paint them in? I hope your boyfriend finds out that your period's on on this podcast. Yeah. Me too. I hope he had big plans for the week. I hope you ordered blue chew. Yo. Yeah.

What if he had to chew all ready to go? He takes it and then he finds out you're on your periods. Your eyebrows do look really good. I'll be honest with you. You're welcome. All right. Let's answer some old-asking idiots. All right.

It's Taylor's fault. Oh, what are your thoughts on reclining your seat on a plane? Are there any other plane elevator, etc? Peppe's worth discussing. This is from at real waved dingle. Well, first of all, if I look at the reclining on the seat. But you heard about that story, right? I did.

I did. First of all, if a guy did that to my wife on the plane or my daughters, I'm going to beat the fuck out of him. That's number one. Yeah, what a pussy that guy was, huh? You only doing it because it's a girl. I'm going to beat his ass. And then when somebody says, why are you jumping on him? He said, he said, Allah Akbar.

But then I'm a fucking, if you pay for a seat, you should be able to recline it. You know, I'm going to say something that they're doing on planes that I hate. Talk to me. They make it too many seats. It should not be that many seats on the plane. Yeah. It should not be that many seats on the plane, yo. And I don't care if it's in first class, our economy.

Like, Delta, and on international flights, Delta has the first class seats where it's like 30, 40, 40 first class seats. You don't like it. No. You want to be special. I want to be fucking special because it's... Talk to me. Planes need to be more comfortable, bro. They do.

You're right. There's not enough room on planes no more, man. Because let's be honest, there was a time when traffic. on that business or first, it didn't even feel like flying, bro. Nah. It was like, that was the vacation. Yeah. It was relaxing.

Yeah. You take your phone. You put it in a fucking pocket somewhere. It's still one airline like that. Which one? JetBlue. I fuck with JetBlue, but Delta's good too. We're on Delta.

Delta is too, it depends where you're flying. I mean, I haven't flown like the L.A. and shit with Delta. You go to South Carolina. That's a little trips. You're going to be on a little plane. Or even L.A. L.A. You know, in L.A., I like mint Jet Blue.

I haven't flown Delta, L.A.? I'm sure I have. Minchette Blue is bomb because it's cheap and it's fucking the nicest first class I got. Delta first class is nice. Delta first class is legit. The international one I didn't like. It was too many fucking seat. You don't want all those people around you.

Nah, man. It's like everybody's laying down, but it's like you're in like a fucking... Tiny little space. Yeah, like you're all that war or something. Like you fucking sleeping in a bunker and it's like everybody laying next to each other. I don't like that shit, man. But if you pay for a fucking seat, you should be able to recline. 100%.

That's on the plane. And I can't believe that. that this guy would make such a big fucking deal about this. It's not like the seats go back that far. Fam, it's a few inches. Yeah. It's a few inches. It's not noticeable.

Like, I've been, you know, I haven't sat in the economy in a long time, but, you know, when I have sat in economy, I remember people have their seats back and you're still watching TV. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not a thing that bothers you. It's not like they're in your lap. Bro. It's stupid. Guy's a fucking cornball.

They be in your lap, Chris? Where were you flying from? Delta. To the Virgin Islands? Delta. Any coronaviruses out there or what? Any cases? Chris like, fuck it.

I need a corona to go with this Lyme virus I got. He got Lyme disease. Give me a little Corona to go. Bro, Corona and Lyme, dog. Whoa. Yo, God is funny as fuck if Chris get coronavirus. And he got Lyme disease. And he got Lyme disease.

Dude, Mexicans are going to go crazy. I want to drink them. This white boy's perfect He got fucking Corona and Lines, bro Are you kidding me, bro? Imagine Christmas cheating with a Mexican boyfriend The Mexican boyfriend telling his boys Man, I'm fucking this goddamn

white guy, man, he has Corona and Lime. He's what? You mean he got Corona Lime in his house? No, he'd take it everywhere. Okay, Carnal. Okay, Garnal. We got the fucking coronas. We hate you for not having asking an idiot.

Corona's coming to Mexico. It's coming here. I thought that's where it started. Yo, that's going to be fucked up. All the joke aside is going to be fucked up with coronavirus hit Mexico, yo. So nobody's going to take that shit serious. No, they're going to be like, it's a celebration. Wait, you say it's out on the streets.

They're just giving it away. You don't want to get the corona. Who, you? You asked what you got, Taylor? What you got, T? From the real. T.O. He said, if the two of you weren't doing radio comedy, what would you

what would be your dream job? Yeah, I'm not answering that. I don't know. This is my dream job. I know. So if you weren't doing it, what would you think is your next hobby, though? A hobby? Yes. I don't fucking know. He's saving whales or something. Saving whales?

Yeah, I would do something real white feminists. Man, get out of here with that shit, dude. I'd be slanging this dangling all across the world. I'd be like, you're like, You can't play with plastic toys on the beach because you play with plastic toys on the beach. You kill the whales. Man, whales are good.

Give me an asking an idiot. What you got? All right. Oh, whoa. You want a real one? You want a real one, bro? You ready? Yeah.

What are your greatest fears? You know who asked this? Who? Une, Michelle. My greatest fears are deaf, honestly. death is absolutely positively my greatest fear. And the funny thing about death is, I think I was listening to Jada Pinkett Smith and Jay Shetty on the,

I can't remember the name of Jay Shetty's podcast. On purpose, I think it's on purpose. Great, great podcast. I love it. But Jada Pinkett Smith was talking about the, what was the word she used? It's basically about how impermanence. is what she said.

She said it's the impermanence of death, right? Because she was talking about Kobe. Well, she was talking about the impermanence of life. Impermanence of life. Of life. Yes. The impermanence of life, meaning that we all exist now, and then one day we just may not.

We could easily get removed from our loved ones. We could easily get removed from our spouses. That's why the coronavirus, that's why all of this stuff like that has strikes so much fear in us, right? Because it's really about having to experience what we perceive as the finale, of death.

We would not feel that way if we knew that it was truly something out there after this that was better. That's why the whole idea of heaven and paradise is so intriguing to us because we feel like,

okay, at least if we die will be in paradise with our loved ones or eventually our loved ones will join us. Like, that's what we hope. Even when you saw Kobe's Memorial, you saw people referencing

Kobe looking to find the nearest basketball court in heaven or Vanessa saying, take care of Gigi and Heaven. Like that's what we hope, right? That's what makes us feel better. Yep. About, you know, whatever's after this.

So, yeah, for me, my greatest fear is definitely deaf because I fear not being here for my loved ones. Now, yes, I know I will get to a certain age where I won't give a fuck. And I want that. And you're ready to go. Let me get to 90-something. Yeah. I'm cool with, I'm cool. I promise you I'm cool with that.

Let me get to the life where I can see my daughters grow up, have their grandkids, live their life. they've achieved what they want to achieve. Me and my wife can clock out of it. I'm going to start talking like that when I get to a certain age. Yeah. It's scary when you see. The same way I'm talking now. Yeah.

At the breakfast club, like, I'm leaving. When I get to about 80, 90, when I get to about 80, 90, 100, I'm going to start talking that way. All right, y'all, it'd be cool. I'm going to y'all get this shit. I'm going to start talking like that. And by the way, I can't wait. But at this moment in my life, fears death. My greatest fear is absolutely death.

No, we're good. At that point? Still death do you part, yo. It's still death do you part, Taylor. If we're 90-something years old, I don't. You can't get some pussy in heaven? Like, if she's still... If we and my wife both make it to 90-something,

trust me, when one of us dies, we'll be joining the other one soon. Yeah, it won't be that long. You know what I'm saying? You're kind of hating? That's probably what'll kill me. You're kind of hate. Because let him sling that dick in heaven.

let him get up there let him have a year or two of just dicking down shorties in heaven before wife he comes up there you know the rules death do you part now I'm sharing this dick with everybody in heaven black men don't cheat when they dead that's like the deal listen all the job side

that's like the guy who died in jail and he had a life sentence he died and he tried to get out and he's right yo low key no he's fucking right I fuck with that he's right yes tell death through us part but I go to heaven did you cheat no No.

We parted. We parted. Now you're dead. We're back together. No, now you cock blocking. We got a renew vows. Don't be looking at her like that. Not here.

No. Jesus, I'm sorry. I got this. Don't worry about it. Okay? Because guess what? You act too spicy. And?

Hey, God, I know I wanted my wife up here. Can you remove her? It's a little bit. It's a little bit much. It's a little cool up here for her. Can you send her someplace warm? Bro. No, no.

You up there in heaven getting all this pussy You realize you don't want your wife to come You're like, Jesus, look, look what she's doing. Look! Hey, come here, come in. Now, I know you're busy, but look. She lied. You see her lying right now?

Jesus, look. Jesus would be like, do you think I care about lies? Would you be here if I can't about lies? Nah, but what's your greatest fear? My greatest fear. I think at the moment it would be living, like maimed. Living in a way where I couldn't do my, do the things that bring me the most joy. Oh, so like if you lost your voice or some shit.

Yeah, I lost my voice or lost my hearing or something like that, like something where I couldn't perform for people and enjoy that thing that I guess we just take for granted. That would really scare me. I think that would scare the shit out of me. but, uh, death. Also, like, my parents dying. Like, my parents are starting to get fucking old, man, especially my dad. I get it.

Ugh. I don't know. I mean, the mortality of all of us is, like, that's my biggest fear. I hate death so much. I can't stand that shit. Oh, my God, I can't stand it. I can't stand because I think a lot of it has to do with the fear of the unknown. Could you appreciate life the same, though, if it wasn't for death?

Um, that's a great fucking question. Could I appreciate life the same? No way. To be honest with you, I don't know, because I don't, know if I ever cared about dying as much as I do now. Yeah, but think about it. Like, if you didn't know that death was an option, we would just be such fucking assholes. Like, that's why superheroes got to go fight crime all days because that's the only thing

that makes them feel like they could die. Like, if there's no Thanos and you just, an immortal being, you're going to be so bored, you're going to be an asshole. So you might as well go find someone that could potentially take you out to make you realize the importance and value of life. Yeah, I mean, they say you truly haven't appreciated life until you've been face to face with your own mortality. I mean, I've, you know, I've had guns pulled on me. I've been in, you know, wrecks that could have been fatal.

Like, you know, I always talk about the car wreck I had when I was in that Luminah Caravan back in the day. And the officer told me if you weren't drunk and you had a seatbelt on it, you'd have been dead. Yeah. Because I was so drunk, the impact didn't kill me. And I didn't have a seatbelt on, so I flew out the back. So when I'm talking about, like, I don't need that. I don't need to come face to face with it anymore to appreciate, like, Like when I see situations happen, the Nipsey Hustle, people that I knew and they left loved ones behind or even my homeboy Jarrell in Long's Corner, just, you know, even when I see Kobe, Kobe was, all of those things hit different for different reasons.

You know what I mean? Kobe, because he just was doing his regular everyday extracurricular activities with his daughter and just boom. Yeah. He wasn't somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. You know, he wasn't in the hood. He wasn't in an argument with nobody. You know what I'm saying? Like there was nothing that happened other than some freak accident shit.

Yeah. Boom. You just know, you just don't exist anymore in the physical. But, yeah, man. Boof. Yeah.

I don't even, yeah, that's my, that's definitely my greatest. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to live as long as fuck all that yolo shit. YOLO shit y'all be talking.

You only live once and you, the good die young. Shut the fuck up. All right? I want to live as old. as possible. I want to be 90-some 100. I want to be fucking, I want to have on Dion Coe's bell bottoms and have people laughing at me.

I want to be drooling on my... I want to be blind like Bill Cosby at 90. I want to die. Fuck it. I'll take it all. Stretch it out. What we're rushing out, man. What we're rushing for? We don't even know what we're going. So what we're rushing for? Exactly. Like, we don't know. Now, I want to hit 100, man.

I want to hit 100, too. I want to hit 100. I actually want to hit more than 100. Yeah. I do. Because the way we're aging, the way the life expectancy of people is, You might still be good at 90-100. You might still pop a bloat you and get it popping.

Gang. That's all I'm saying. That's who's getting the most STDs, you heard. Who? Old people. Because they don't give a fuck no more. They're not strapping up. Fuck the 95, the Air Max 95 mask 95 mask

that Chris was talking about. Fuck a condom. I'm going to fucking go wrong. Wait, what Air Max 95? What is that? What? Whatever this shit, man. Fuck all that.

Real talk. man, you're old. You just let it rip. Those ovaries don't work. You're just pounding out that puss. Come on, man. Come on, man. What?

No, you're right. I'm just saying. That's what you would do. What position do you think old people have sex? Mish-N. You think they go Mish? They probably disrespect the fuck out of 69. Which you would ask an 80-year-old motherfucker to 69.

I've been there 11 years ago. Damn you're choking. You know what I'm saying? 69. We put past that. Get out of here. I think you got to go dog. Doggy stuff?

girls on her walker and then the guy gets behind her, right? And then he uses the walker too. So they double up on the walker. And he just kind of, he just like gets it in and then just kind of rocks back and forth. They rock back and forth. I think missionary would be the most comfortable position because they're both laying down. Yeah, but I don't know if they could thrust through missionary in their knees might be hard.

I don't think it's about the thrusting. So you just put it in there and let it bake. You just lay down. You know what I'm saying? But you got to insert, dog. Yeah, but once you put it in, like you just boom. I think a dad. age, you're just happy that is hard.

Right. She's happy that it's wet. But how does it get wet? Do you think the guys take out their dentures and just rub it up against the pussy lips? It's possible. Maybe menopause. What? Does menopause make you sweat?

Shit. Talk about menopause. Oh, menopause drives you up? No, menopause, it's over. It's a rap. Lobed in. So you lube. K-Y.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Hit that K-Y, but you throw it in the dog. Nah, I think, I don't think they can do dog. They're old. Hips blow out. You know what I'm saying? Like, how can, like, if you're really hitting that shit, right?

Right. And the woman's on the walker. You might make her fucking fall. This is the walker. Yeah. She bends over. Yes. She locks the wheels because I think you can lock the wheels.

Because you know how it's also a seat? So it don't roll? So it doesn't roll. Okay. Right. Then the guy. Yeah, yeah. Granddad.

Granddad comes up behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also grabs the walker. Okay. Right? I like where you going. And then he just gets, you know, a little bit of, Mm.

Mm. You want it? That would be kind of hard, though, because, you know, when you get old, that everything starts to fall. Say what? Everything starts to fall. Oh, you can't find pussy. So imagine a thick, all you women out there that got big asses. Oh, yeah.

That ass is going to drop. Gravitation to pull is going to make it dropped. I don't have the scrimp to lift that shit up no more. No. Look like puddles. I think missionary might be the best thing, bro. I just don't understand how they're going to be able to move. You have to use a lot of upper body strength for missionary.

You can just lay on this old woman. She's going to die. You think? Yes, dude. I think in those moments you probably, find the script. What about the girl goes on top? Dude lays down, right? Too old. What? Too old. You have to see old tities? Old tities just drop. You know what I'm saying? So she'd be on top and they would just be weighing old man down. Yeah, but maybe that's so that he doesn't have to lift his body up to touch them as much. So it's actually working for his benefit. Like he could suck his tities or her tities while he's laying down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost just like lifting a palm leaf and you're just like, You know?

What the size is? The what? I hate to be that guy. What? What? What? What? That's what's what's what?

Taylor, because you Google senior citizen porn. Let's get a little peak maybe. Yeah, let's see how they do it. Let's before we get off the air. Can we just see? I don't want to just talk out of no experience. And we got to see 80 years and above.

I don't want those 70 year olds. Huh? Yo, you know what's crazy? There's a lot of young, younger guys fucking old. I don't want to see that. We want to see old people fucking. You know what's crazy?

All of the presidential candidates. are of the age that we're talking and they look pretty spry. I thought about that last night. I thought about Bernie Sanders and his wife's flat. Oh, this is, this is,

this is so hot. Hold on. That's a whole origin right here. Oh. Oh, oh, it's on. Hold on. I'm definitely going to live to be 100 now.

What the fuck? Hold on. Grandma getting me in. Yeah, yeah, she's going for it. Hold on. These are old men? Yes. Get the fuck out of him.

Press what? Oh shit. Hold on. Shor-so, you got to look at this, bro. They're 69ing. We just was talking about that. They're 60-fucking 90-in. Oh, yeah.

She's taking that down. O'G's running the train. You know what? This is a good example of how women shouldn't wait to get this age to go through their whole face. Like if you want to be this kind of freak, just be this kind of freak, man. You know, she don't give a fuck. Yeah, but she's tired. Look at her.

She tired like an old person would be during sex, bro. She can't handle these two dudes. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, now she naked. Oh, God.

What is it? Okay. I'm about to text my wife. We're watching gravy porn all nighting. This might be my new favorite. I did not know that they had this shit. Can you fast forward? I want to see the nut.

That's she going to come out and powder. This shit will be powdered. Oh, bro. He's fucking, he learned how to use the phone. He's fucking grandson talking about to use the goddamn smartphone. He's taking pictures of this shit. Oh, that's... See, nice little light thrust, that's all?

This guy who's on his back is dead. He hasn't moved the entire time, me. I think he's legit show to death. He really might be dead, you know. He's dead. That pussy suffocated. He can't breathe and do that. And he's trying to eat pussy at the same time?

Hell no. She gave him an end-night. And she mad as fuck, listen, she mad as fuck because his dick is not hard. Soft. He need Bluetooth, bro. Get on that. Blue Choo, why are you not sponsoring this?

Don't disrespect, bro. Yo, this is my new favorite shit, yo. Oh, she's moving so slow, dude. It's not even buffering, bro. You got a job. Hold on all the granny porn. I can motherfucking, everything you can find. Oh, you don't even have an ending?

Oh, that's fucked up. There's no ending. There probably is no ending. Nah, you got a show. There probably is no end of your. His dick's probably not hard, yo. Listen, thank you. Please send you asking idiot questions now.

All right. So you can send you asking idiot questions. What do you, what do they send them to? At the brilliant idiots. At the brilliant idiots. Instagram, Twitter. Send you asking idiot questions. The at the brilliant idiots and we'll answer them for you next week.

That's it right? Oh, this is disgusting. No. What you found something else? You got something the same shit. It says, dude. I'm going down that deep dive when I get home at the crib. Here's why it's disgusting.

The kids go to the bed. Me and the wife. Let me and what it's disgusting. You know how when women get older, they get short haircuts? Yeah. So when you just scrolling through the thumbnail, it just looks like dude sucking each other's next. It does look like that. Look at this shit.

That, that's two guys. It looks like... She says, Grandpa and Grandma. Grandma and Grandpa with a more good boy. That's a young. One lady with her young black stud eating him alive. Oh, God. What is this?

Y'all tripping. I'm about to go down a deep, deep dive of Grandma Cucci tonight. Nah, no, this is just crazy. All right. Listen, as always, if you listen to this podcast, We do love you. Appreciate you. As always, if you listen to this podcast,

you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant. But if you think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know shit, you're right too. It's the brilliant idiotist podcast. Thank you for listening.