The Brilliant Idiots - Master Beta

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

This week on the Brilliant Idiots Charlamagne and Andrew discuss DC Young Fly knocking out a heckler, Wax loves to fight, Naomi Osaka taking a mental health break, Charlamagne doesn't like to go out, should 1st graders be taught about masturbation?, ask an idiots and more!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To the guy who said, I'll marinate the chicken, then forgot. Hi, you're a Safeway PA announcer here. We've got pre-marinated meat. So all that's left is pretending you made it yourself. It's so stupid. It's positively brilliant. Yep, Shalamane the guy. Andrew Shultz.

We are the brilliant idiots podcast. Back for a week. Another brilliant idiotness. I'm going to be honest with y'all. I'm exhausted as fuck. What happens? I'm just tired, man. I did a late workout last night.

And plus, you know, we was traveling this weekend. Working out. And then, you know, you know, it's so weird about, like, three-day weekends. Just admit that you're working out because the last podcast. No, I'm always working up. But admit a little bit more. It made a little bit more. You look back at it. A little bit, a little bit.

It was a little bit of the picture. You know what it was the picture? You saw the picture. You saw the picture we posted. I was like, I look a little portly around the hip. It's a little. I can tell, like, my waist, like hip area. Your ratio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You said what? Read the comments. I don't want to look like wax. That's all. No, wax. If you look like me, you'll be a... No, man.

Just tall. I get it. No, because the thing is he's... Yeah, he's got a better body than you. Oh, that's okay. I can say that as a heterosexual male. No, I agree with that. Do you think he has a better body than you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who do you think is a better personality? What if that means? Better personality? It depends on the setting. Okay, go. It depends on the setting. Okay.

That's all. Birthday party. Oh, wax. He's killing. or at the party. He's like the, um... What is that? You order, like, the big, like, the, the, the Pokemon.

Yeah, like the stuff and where that comes. Like the person that's in a suit, exactly. We should put wax in Times Square and just charge a dollar, a dollar to Asian people for pictures. Like, you want to take a picture with real black person? Kids always love me, from me. Now, every time I go to, like, cookouts or stuff, I always go with the kids because, like, grown just be lying.

So I go to the kids because they're like, innocent to tell the truth. Yeah, there's an honesty to kids. Now, Wax is changing, though. I just saw Wax not beat somebody up, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, man. I don't know about this, bro. By the way, anybody that tells you New York is not getting crazy, it's a liar. It's not getting crazy.

New York is nuts, Schultz. I'm telling you, you just got back here. What happened? If somebody tried to get me, what happened? For sure. Tell them what happened. What happened? Yeah, literally five minutes I went to the building, and I was like, just, let me go back to the truck real quick. Go back to the truck. I see a Haynes, white, sock in my dashboard.

Kicked up like this. Kicked up as a dashboard. So I'm thinking somebody playing right away, I'm thinking Charleney playing around. He sent somebody out here to bullshit. So I open the door, what the fuck are you doing? This guy got a P coat on, no draws, and Haynes White socks. And no shirt. And no shirt on.

No, no drawers on. He's butt naked. No, no. No, he got just drawers on. No, you told me you didn't have no drawers on. No, he had drawers on. See, he's changing the story. He told me that he had a P coat on, no shirt, no drawers, and socks.

No, he had draws on. So I just put my foot and grabbed his head. Get the fuck out of here. That's not what happened. Tell him what you said first. Yeah. Oh, I was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, it's a free country.

It's a free country. The fuck you made the free country, bro. You get the fuck out of here. He's like, he's like, you don't know what's going on. I don't get what's going to. You better get the fuck out of it. I didn't want to touch you. He starts smelling.

I ain't got time for that shit. When you get back in that truck later and you sit in something warm and liquidy, I'm telling you, he jerked off in your truck. He jerked off in your truck. He jerk off in your truck and then he sat there. It wasn't enough time. He wasn't enough time. How long it take you to jerk off?

We were just talking about this. One minute, especially if you're like a weirdo like that, they probably jerk off man quick. Listen, like I told you. What do you mean? It's too hot. He's homeless. He's used to this. How many time you want to have sex when it's hot?

Huh? You got to have sex with a certain time of the like, yeah. I can have sex at any temperature. I just can't have sex if I'm full. If I had a full meal. If it's too hot, you can't be horny. You're speaking with a rational mind. This man does not have a rational mind.

I just read a story about this woman in Minnesota who was at a car lot and she went from car to car and masturbating in each car. It's cold out there. When the police came, it was like a week ago. No, that's lit. When the police came, she didn't stop. And she was in Minnesota and they said she was masturbating and kept talking about Florida. Did they arrest her or did they try to let her finish, though?

They didn't let her finish, though. She's about to squirt. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, they probably be like, yeah, what are you doing, man? somebody who won't touch her? You got to have a lady cop there, right? That's the other thing. Can you arrest a woman?

You can't even touch her, especially if she's naked playing with herself. You can't touch her. I mean, she's on a private property. She's freaking masturbating in various cars. No way a man touched her. Well, listen, they took her to jail, okay? I'm just proud of wax that he didn't beat the guy off or beating off in his truck.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're proud that you did waxing and beat the guy off? Oh, no. I meant to say beat the guy. Yeah. I mean, if this guy was a regular guy What are you doing there? All by yourself.

Hey, get your hands off of you. I'll take it from here. If he was a regular guy, he would have got it. But I knew what something was wrong with. I'm like, it's my fault. You knew he was crazy. Yeah, something was wrong with for sure. So that's what some people are saying.

They're just more crazy people on the streets. They let him out again. We benched all that. We saw that last summer though. Yeah, about two weeks ago now. No, but remember last summer we was on 36th Street? And I'm looking around like, what the fuck is going? going on. But they do that every May.

What do you mean? For mental health awareness, they let out like 20%. They do. They let out 20% from health and health awareness. It's true. That's the celebration. You go have fun. You come back in tune. Last week it was so many. You don't do that.

Y'all didn't notice. You missed a mental health. I never paid no attention. But it does seem like every May. Somewhere around a certain time, they do just let them out. Let them out. Like, and I don't know what's going on. To get summer started, to get it going, bro. They test them something out. They're like always guinea pigs, man.

And it's the same area, like around Tribeca. Like, why is it right there? There's, that there's a lot of crazy over there. And that's what I feel sorry for because if somebody is desperate enough to sit in a stranger's car. Yeah. It's like, God. But he don't know it's your car, bro. He don't know what you don't care.

I just let, listen, in a matter of five minutes, he was comfortable, comfortable. He, he knew is your car. It's your body. your seats and beating his dick. He saw your body and he was like, this is the car. I want to jack off. I want to sit in this seat. And then when he, when he got out the car,

what did he do once he got out the car? He's great. No, you said he was doing what? You said he walked up the street. No, he's going, I'll try to go on other people car. Exactly. Oh, and jerk off in them too. Clearly.

That's a wild boy right there, bro. I think it's positively brilliant. Listen, positively brilliant this week, D.C. Youngfly. Oh, you're knocking a guy on stage. I mean, it's not the fact that he knocked the guy out on stage, but listen, you got to protect your peace. When I saw that story, all I saw was a man who understands self-care.

Think about the stage for you. It's therapeutic, right? Yeah. And you're on that stage, you're cooking, you talking to the people, you vibing, you can't let nobody disturb your peace. Why do comedians roast heckless? Because they're interrupting the show. They're disturbing your peace.

They're disturbing the peace. That's right. So, D.C., I don't know what exactly happened. I didn't listen to what D.C. his explanation was. Did anybody hear it? No. Yeah, I didn't hear what his explanation was. He posted something, he posted something about like, you know,

hey, man, at the end of the day, I'm from East Atlanta. West Side Atlanta. West Side, Atlanta. Like, I got hands. Like, you know, you come up here. And that's the thing. If you come up on stage after someone's talking shit, like, anything can happen. You don't know what that person wants once they get up there.

Everybody's looking for a viral moment. Let's handle this right then and there. But I have to say, comedy clubs should not allow that. Where is the security? Where's the phone cameras? Where's the footage? That's what I'm working. I'm on YouTube searching for this shit.

I thought you saw it. No, I just got the after effect. I haven't seen an actual beatdown. Well, that's good, right? You should be happy. There's no phone cameras in the comedy club. I mean, you know. Somebody sneak.

He's always sneaking everything. But I mean, I want to see. If I know there's about to be an altercation, I see a motherfuckers start approaching the stage, please believe I'm a bus out of the car. But you don't know if it's part of the act. That's the problem. Well, it's getting video.

It's getting video time. You go to a comedy show. I've seen it. You go to a comedy show. you see somebody interacting with somebody in the audience, then you realize it's a part of the act. Yeah. It probably didn't realize it was a part of the act.

Yeah. But that is a waste of a punch, though. You know, if you catch somebody on camera, you want the world to see. I want the world to see. Especially if you knocked them out. I didn't even see the guy on the camera. I never get none of my shit. Oh, you see the guy walking out.

Yeah. You see the guy walking out. Couldn't even getting carried up? I mean, I guess he woke back up. But he dropped him. He slept him, apparently. Yeah. That's a good job, D.

Yeah. He's going to push up some work I've been telling you about. You got hit on stage before. Yeah, I got hit in the face. I got a punch in the face. Why? Fuck around with you black folk. What happened?

Sound about right? No, no. It was up in Harlem doing a show at Cafe Moka. Shout to Smokey, man. Smokey Suarez, legendary comic. I know Smokey? Yeah, you know Smokie. And Smokey had a room.

I imagine it's probably still going on now if they're back from the pandemic is Cafe Mokas. I think it was on like 117th Street. Jesus Christ, that's a black comedy night. Cafe Mok. F.A. Moka on 117th Street and like Malcolm Frederick Douglass Boulevard, a famous black guy Boulevard. And it was, yeah, it was just one of my first times. It was super young in comedy, but I was just going up anywhere. And Smokey put me up. I tried to make fun of his Puerto Rican in the crowd. He wasn't having it. He came up to me. And there's no stage there. You're just performing like in front of the wall.

We don't blame black people. Say what? Don't blame black people. That was the Boricuas. He's Afro Latino. And Afro Latino came up to me. And Afro Latino. And Afro Latino came up to me. And Afri Latino came up to me. Alatynx came up to me. Afro Borikwa. Yeah. And he just, he came right up to me. He swung on me and punched me in my face. And then motherfuckers grabs him.

They grabbed me. They threw his ass out. I remember Smokie handed the mic back to me. He goes, all right, bro, keep doing your thing. Listen, man, you got to keep it moving. You fall off the horse. You got to get back going on. I was on stage.

I was probably on stage another, like maybe five minutes or something like this. Damn. Did you get a laugh at least? I just got. I was. even trying to tell jokes. I was like, what do I talk about now? What do I talk about to y'all? What am I talking? The subway's uncomfortable, ain't it? Not as uncomfortable is getting punch in your

fucking face by Puerto Rican. What did you say to the Puerto Rican that made him so mad? You know, I wasn't good back then. So the jokes didn't even sound like jokes. He was like, I was like, I was like, I don't know, I was asking what he was. I'm Puerto Rican. I was like, you ain't Puerto Rican. And they're proud of that. You know what I mean? You're Puerto Rican. You're Dominican. Oh, why I ought to. And why I am I?

Turned it to Popeye. Motherfugger, and his spinacos. He came up right in my face. Is that a right of passage? After that, what's the worst thing that could happen on stage? Yeah. You shot?

That's the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, that's the only thing that could think that could happen to me on stage just as bad as that, you know? Yeah, I don't like that. I think comedians need to have security. I don't think that nobody should even be allowed

to get on stage. Like, you shouldn't be allowed to get within five feet of the stage, man. You're disturbing a comedian's piece. Well, there was no stage. You're just performing in front of the bar. If there's a stage, at least you know you can see him come in. You know, they're going to take a step up and then boom, you know.

You buy the ball. You don't know if you're ordering a drink. You don't know what's going on. Was he all he standing up? He got at his seat. He stood up and walked right in front of me and I was like, what's up, man? I literally was like, what's up? Like, you try to get by me to go to the bathroom.

Like, what are you trying to do? And he's sitting right in front of me. And, yeah, and then he punched me. Damn. Would you know him if you saw him today? What, I know if I saw him now? Yeah. No.

No, not at all. I remember everybody who I had to fight with. Really? Yeah. I don't even remember the guys that I've sparred with. How do you remember everybody you had a fight with, but not everybody you slept with? Yeah, that's a good ass part. Because my adrenaline was going higher at that time with doing my fight.

No. How does that make any sense? That doesn't because. Because I haven't fought, I had had too much sex. And I ain't had that many fights. Aren't you being intimate with the girl, though, so you don't remember her face? Like, Jacklight. I think Wax's more intimate fighting.

I'm serious. I'm serious. Because he gets dressed to fight. Yeah. I was listening to Beaumani Jones talk about when you and Mace got into it. Yeah. And it was so funny the way B'omani described you. He was like, he had on some really tight pants.

He did. He said, he said, really tight cargo pants, which you know is wax's staple. And he was like, um. He pulled out his gloves and he put him on. Slowly. Slowly. You get more intimate to fight than you do. You do at a second, bro.

You at least wear protection when you fight. That's actually really interesting. When you fuck, you like, fuck I need protection for it. Protect your hands, but not your meat. Exactly. Isn't that messed up? Why you protect your hands, bro? I had a lot of knockouts here, so I've got to make sure everything is they

braced in. I hit it really hard. You only put your gloves on when you fight? Yeah, what else is it? It might be something to that, yo. What is that? That you enjoy fighting more than sex? I mean, I guess so.

You say that. You got to talk to a therapist. There's got to be something there with that. Have you ever spoken to a therapist? Have you achieved orgasm through fighting? No, I never did it. I'm just saying. Have you?

I mean, it's like, somebody has worked out a lot. When you put them in a headlock. It is like having sex is that. That type of stuff always was like given to me. It's so easy for me. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you know, I don't really care about that type of shit. Me having a fight was like, damn, nobody wants to try me.

I'll work out all the time. I want to try my new arms. I want to try my new thing I just worked out with. Like, we're going to fucking deadlifts for what? To never try it out. You want to... There's something gay here, bro. Yeah, I know.

We're going to get there. We're going to get there. We're going to let him guide us there. You guide us to the gay. Good job. Okay? Guide us to the gay. Guide us to the gay.

Welcome to the brilliant idiotist podcast. I'm saying a therapist could get figured this out because something is not right about this. You know what's so funny? We used to have whatever we were embarrassed with gay shit. We used to be like, dick talk, dick segment. We talk about so much gay shit. It's not using to take that. Might as well start the podcast.

Dick talk. Dick talked about gay. Join the next hour to have. So has there ever been a situation where you were fighting and you felt some sort of like release, emotional release, sexual release? No, not at all. And every time I was like, you know, I was like being. guided by a guy. It was like I was more disciplined in this person, more of like whipping his ass.

Ah, you felt like you were, you were like the karma police. That's all I am. I'm only here for that. Okay. I never just like, I never enjoy hurting nobody. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit?

What? You don't think it's strange, though, that you can't even remember women's names that you sleep with, but you can remember everybody you beat up? Yeah, I remember that. You think you beat up more people or seven more women? What's the sex of course I mean I try not to beat everybody up Wax's missing his calling man

He wants to be a wrestler No I don't I don't want to be a wrestler That's what you like fighting I don't like fighting I just like being a hero Like I like to see that fucking guy right there Like I'm pissed off he got the gear on Hold on that gear

Are you in the wide shot out please That's a robot You're jealous of a robot But I want to be like I want to save Join the army, bro. Like, what are you doing? There's so many jobs you can do that. The military is right there.

Yeah. Military, be police off, you're like, you could do this for a living. You could get bad guys for a living. So you know when they talk about the old lady the other day who got her purse took in and stuff? I'm like, why the fuck I'm never there? Like, I want freebies and stuff like that. I want to like the tough guys.

You can literally do this for a living. You can get, they will call you and then you can chase them down. You can like research it. The whole nine yards. You know what I was thinking about that jet pack when you're talking about the other day? Yeah, that'd be fired. If you had a jetpack. Just be fired.

A jetpack? Go to the academy. I think you need to be a cop. Are you told to be in the academy? I'm going to get to me charges to be in the academy. Going to military. Like, he wants to fight. I can tell Wax wants to do combat.

Listen, I try to do it because I wanted to fly the planes. And I just fell the ASVab test so bad to where it was like there's nowhere they're going to let me in there. You tried to go into the military? Yeah, I tried to when I got locked up, one of my time I got locked up, they were like, yeah, we're going to send you Uncle Sam and you ain't got to get locked up. You'll be right. So I tried to go do the test.

and I felt it the worst. You're not going to fit into a fighter pilot as a fighter pilot. Like, you're not going to fit in the plane. Like, yeah. What plane you're going to fly, bro? And I got calls of phos of fucking bombers. No, there's no way. Those, you're to be tiny to fly those things.

Pilots are small. Yeah, the fighter pilots? Why do you want to be in the Air Force? I just want to fly planes and shoot. Everybody wants to be in the air. I feel about every guy wants to be. This is crazy. And it's actually just, I'm telling you, there's something there.

I'm going to figure out why you like fighting more than sex. Something happens. I told you know what's not. He was always given to me. Listen, you know how many times that people never even go? A lot of people I never see hustle always got money given to them. Like a lot of people who are really hustlers like never really had it and they just stuck that with that mold.

Like a pussy was always given to me. It was like, that's nothing to me. You're like, oh, am I going to give you pussy for a week? I'm like, eh, the fuck. You know what I'm saying? So it's the guys? No, it's the thing is I never get the fight. I never get, I'm like competitive.

You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, I'm working out all this time and all that. fuck I'm working out for. Like, nobody's going to try me anyway. Be healthy. So when I finally get to get into something, it's like work. You work out so you look good enough to where guys want to jack off in your truck. No. No.

No, it just, you know, people do throw sex at you, bro. That's facts. I've seen it. That's a good ass point. Guys and girls. I've seen it. If a guy, if you guys thinks you're so fine, he's just going to jerk off in your truck because that's the closest thing that he could get.

You know. What about the guy who kissed your hand in that club that night? You was there, weren't you? I was there, bro. I paid them $20. I didn't ever told you all that. I paid him $2.00. I was go kiss that big guy's head.

It was Carlis. It was Carlis birthday. Yeah. Kissed you right in your fucking hand. He walked right up to his hands, took his hand. Wax gave him his hand. The guy just bought up his lips. Kiss that shit right in his hands.

Wax just looked at him like, oh, shit. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? No, you did not. No, you did not. He bought it back to his ass. He did not. He bought it back slow, like, oh, shit. He was looking at it.

You did. Yeah, bro, you were mesmerized by that shit. You remember that night? I do remember that night. How do you want to keep talking about that night? What happened that night? What happened that night? Then the lights came on and you looked at what the fuck you was playing around with?

Oh, yeah. Son, I got me a bulbosaur, bro. I got, I was a bullesore. It was dark in there, man. Wax was kissing dudes. I was kissing bullsores, bro. This is a bumasaur. This is the type of Pokemon.

Listen, bro. Yo, you know, I didn't know. It looked all right in the light. It looked all right. You know, they was kissing so crazy. Like, how her lipstick. I'm on my eye. Like this.

Put up some positively brilliant with a fucking media in the tale of game. Huh? Amazing. Well, for, you almost just go over that. Okay, so for positively brilliant, Ytha Naomi Osaka talking about or taking time out for mental health. I respect it. I think Naomi Osaka is positively brilliant.

I mean, listen, It's not even just Naomi Osaka. It's anybody. Take time out when you are mentally exhausted. I don't know what it is. The old I get, I'd be more mentally and emotionally fatigued than I do physically. Physically, you can power it through. Yeah.

But, man, when you're not there mentally, fuck no. I'm not showing up. What's the point? You know what I mean? I reserve the right. It's your job. But she took the fine. She got to work a few days a year.

Amen. I mean, there's what you are you. We're 12. days a year? You can't work 12 days of a fucking year? But you don't know what's going on. Exactly. I don't know what's going on with him.

You can't work 12 days a year though. It's not like you physically injured. You stress because you got to answer questions after the match. You got to work 12 days a year, B. I don't know her life. Bro, I work seven days a week. And you don't get mentally exhausted? I do.

Yes. Imagine I work 12 days a year. I'm okay. Depends what you're doing. Hitting a ball, Charlotte. Come on. Stop. Hose.

Hitting a fucking ball. I hate it when we cap for these athletes. Like they do some hard shit. They do! They hit a ball! I can't do it. What do kids do before they know how to speak? They hit a fucking ball.

Why don't you go outside and play some ball? I can't do it. I can't go out there and do what she does. That I know. Tennis is no joke. I literally do what she does. I do what she's afraid of doing for a living. She's like, I don't want to answer questions after I play tennis.

I literally talk to people for a living. But that shit gets exhausting. A woman in tennis. Oh, now she's a woman. How do you know how she identify? Whoa. How do you know? Do not misgender her.

Do not misgender her. You don't know how she identifies. She identifies as a woman. Well, that's, I don't know. She's with YBN the guy. For day. I'm almost 100% positive she identifies. Yes.

But again, you can't assume that, bro. I can't assume. You're right. You're right. She might not even want the pronouns. They probably criticize her from her race stance, everything else like that. Well, what race is she? Haitian and Japanese, right?

She's Haitian and Japanese. Yeah. Okay. I have, I don't care how many. days you work a year when you don't want to show up I reserved the right not to show up by the way I'm notorious for that I am notorious for day of yo yeah no night night before 12 o'clock exactly yeah at 11 o'clock last night earlier today Texas yo can we do a pot Thursday I'm like all right bet but you know why I go I'll move some things around when I say I move some things around

I mean I'll move eight other people schedules around that's what it means okay I agree but But Charlotte's schedule is a priority. And I've always believed in that, supported that, and always made shit work because of that. And I do recognize it. But I feel the same about your schedule. But you know what's so funny? I thought my appointment with one of the people in my wellness circle was around this time. So I didn't want to come rush to do the podcast and then, you know, have to rush back.

Because, you know, when I go sit down with them, I want to like just sit down. And I might take some time. But then I realized it was West Coast time. So I'm like, oh, that ain't so late in the fever. So he hits us up at 11 o'clock at night and goes, yo, we could actually do it tomorrow. Yeah. So now I got to call all these motherfuckers.

Yo, we, because we got to do flagrant before. So I'm like, yo, everybody's in at nine. I mean, like, it's a wild situation. I get it. All I'm saying is, I don't know. So that's my what a fucking idiot for the week. What a fucking idiot. I don't know Naomi Osaka's, you know,

schedule or anything like that. but anytime somebody wants to take a mental health break, I'm all for it, man. I'm all for it, too. I just, and again, I don't know the situation, and she seems like an authentic person. And she's young. Every time I say her talk, she's young.

She seems like an authentic person. So I do believe her when she's saying it. I do oftentimes think that there are people who take advantage of our empathy for mental health. Yeah. When they get out of situation. How when you know you need to take it? Exactly.

Like, everybody deals with stress. Everybody deals with depression. Everybody, these are normal functions. I work about 12 days a week too. Exactly. I think we've made it. And when I say we, I mean society, I think society has made it to where. He said 12 days a week.

He definitely said 12 days a week. Are you on a metric system, bro? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm non-stop working. I'm non-stop flying. I think he meant to say like 24 or 7, 3-60. You know what I mean? But he works 12 days a week.

He works 12 days a week. 12 hours, I guess, 24, yes. You know how many days in Christmas? You know, it's 12. Listen, I think that, um, Like, I forgot what the fuck I was going to say. That's why I need a mental health break. So that's what you were in the middle of saying?

No, but you were in the middle of saying some shit like people would be capping about mental health. Oh, yes. I think that I think society is just to sell books. You were saying some shit like that. Oh, shut up. I think society has made it to where the stigma has been eradicated. Yeah. So now people aren't afraid to say, yo, I need a mental health break.

And now you have, which is with what happens with every movie. is you have the people who are going to take advantage of the movement because it's an easy situation where they got to feel they feel uncomfortable they get to avoid something man they've been doing that in the hood and my family been doing that for years I do that's with my girl what's wrong with that knows every time my girl's upset of me I'm sick yes I want to hear you're going to be upset at me when I'm sick right simple as a second she upset at me because I came home late I'll be like we should definitely talk about after I throw up because I'm sick and now she can't be angry

what is she sick about sick say what oh you're a thing I'm not sick. Oh, got you. I'm sick of her being mad at me. I feel sick of. Listen, I don't feel good right now. I feel horrible. I can be home the night before.

I do this a lot when it comes to like concerts and shit, like powerhouse or some shit like that. I'd be home the night before. And then I start thinking about all the people we got to deal with the next day. He'd be like, going on the stage, all that shit. And like, my social anxiety. I'm like, I'm not coming. I'm not going.

And then what happens? I don't go. Oh, you just skip out? Yes. You skipped that on a powerhouse before? Hell yeah. I don't remember that. It was so boring.

What without Charlotte? Yeah. Because you need them there to mix it up. I need to mix it up. I'm not there. Say fuck you to brands and some shit. And then you got a thing too, right? It's exhausting.

And that's another thing, right? Because it's like, yo, we go places. I was saying that the other day when I went down this rabbit hole because somebody sent me to Beaumani Jones shit. And then I just thought about all the times we went out. And every time we went out, we got into some shit. I got shit. It's exhausting.

I don't want to freaking be confirmed. having confrontations with people's favorite rappers and artists every fucking time I go out. Who got time for that shit? That shit is exhausting. I was listening to Angela Yee talk about D.C. Young Fly in the club, punching the guy. Jeezy being in some club in Detroit and it was some situation. Kelly Price having a situation with a promoter. And all I thought to myself was, this is why I'd be in the fucking house.

Yeah, we always did get into some. It's always stupid. Am I got time for that? Remember that time we was standing in front of the club? We're in front of the club, right? And this white girl was just, she came up to us and said something. I don't even remember what she said. Then her boyfriend or something comes up to me and shakes my hand

and squeezes my hand real tight. Because he thought I said something to the girl. And he said something. I'm like, what? I said what? I couldn't hear him. I'm like, what? They heard him before me.

Yeah, he already got tore up. He got smacks. I'm like, I don't. I don't even know what he's saying. What are he saying? I forgot. Wax didn't even smack him. Somebody else smacked him.

Yeah, you got to get hit up. I'm not going to say who, but somebody else smacked him. This was years ago. What do you mean? What he fell? Oh. Good job. And then I remember Marty and then was with us.

Marty at home, girl. They was like, ah! He's in the city. But it's just stupid. That is exhausting. That is mentally and emotionally exhausting. So I don't know what Naomi goes to. I never get it.

into fights when I go out, though. Because you're white. That's a great point, too, Taylor. Great observation. It might be a little different in our society. You know what I mean? So you're saying, but you're saying white people don't come up and fight otherwise. No, white people definitely fight.

They do, but it's going to be a fight. I just told you a white dude was tried to, I don't know what he was trying to do. He definitely was white. He's trying to fight y'all. Hello. He started that. He started that shit. Them goddamn Puerto Rican.

These Puerto Rican is a problem, bro. It's a real problem. So what was that? What did you say on the, on the Flaker about the Puerto Rican thing? Maybe you fucking die laughing. Oh, yeah. You know, we're talking about our guys brings up, you know, why fuck Puerto Rican's got to play handball all the time, right?

Al just goes, come on, bro, we got to hit something. They got to get it out this system. Thank God, man. They got to get out this system. That is funny. They go to the course. They're just slapping around him. No, y'all do take handball serious.

You know, another thing Naomi Osaka said, though, she knows her limitations. She said she's not good when she does interviews. He was like, she don't like talking. That's okay, but that's part of the jobs. I get it. I get it. If you want to do this, this is what comes to the territory. and what I think that she's doing is going,

I'm going to use my leverage to force you guys to change the rules so they accommodate my lifestyle a little bit better. But I'm sure they make money off of the press that comes from these conversations afterwards and they're tied into the TV deals, etc. So it's like, I understand you don't want to do it and it's an inconvenience to you.

And I understand the more successful people get the less they want inconveniences in their life. I'm guilty of that. The more successful, the more money that you have, the less that you want to be inconvenience. That's right. And then, and, At first, it's okay.

You start, like, paying people to do some things that you wouldn't want to do. But eventually, you start to get a little bit of entitlement or some people get some entitlement where they feel like they don't deserve to be inconvenience. And inconvenience is a mental health issue. There's a big difference between being inconvenienced and being harassed. Like, there's a massive gap right there. But you know the thing about anxiety, and I'm so glad that I've always been open about my anxiety, or recently, everything feels like harassment.

When you're rich. when you're poor you're like oh this just sucks right you gotta get with it because you ain't got no choice try not showing up to the construction site because you're feeling anxious that day I'm with you but guess what that's why everybody every job every industry

should have mental health breaks now you're right you will have some people who take advantage at all this is rich girl shit I'm listening hey I'm with you I can see how I can easily see how you can say that but we're all we all act like rich girls or rich dudes or whatever time because when you get more money, you can remove inconvenience from your life and remove

anytime you feel inconvenience when you know you can remove it, it's that much more annoying. That's why you see these out-to-touch celebrities, like, like, explode at a restaurant like Ellen, right? Like, Ellen, if somebody smelled like tuna on set, like one person smelled like tuna because they were eating a tuna sandwich on set and then she fired that motherfucker. That's what she's special. She's so not used to inconvenience in her life. But you're right, though, because that's the thing, right?

When you know your triggers, and I guess you're in a position to remove your triggers, You get rid of your fucking triggers Exactly And that's why I'm saying Some like rich person shit Whereas like You gotta be inconvenienced I'm not going

Where I'm triggered Exactly But sometimes in life The triggers are gonna come for you Come to you That's a fact Within your job even That's a fact

Or social media Or social media Yeah that's why stay off it Boom exactly So you can't She gotta go play tennis Damn So eventually you're gonna have to play tennis

But by the way Clearly she doesn't Yo Naomi made $55 million last year if she stops playing sentence you're going to see that money go away real. How the hell you're going to get rid of $55 million?

I like that. Crypto. I got rid of tens of thousands. You want to make your money disappear? Invested in some crypto. I don't understand crypto at all, bro. Don't even get me started. All crypto is is I don't want my friends

to get rich without me. That's all crypto is. Damn. And it's a bunch of guys who have one of their friends who got into it and started making a lot of money. based on absolutely nothing because it's bullshit.

So now the other friends are starting to go, oh, no, you're not about to be the rich one without me getting rich when I know you know nothing. Yeah. Like, if you get rich because you worked harder than me, say, LaVee, that's great. But you're not going to get rich because a couple letters you put money behind it.

That's right. And they went up 1,000 percent. I mean, the thing about crypto is, like, you don't know what's going to actually be the one cryptocurrency that everybody uses. You know what I mean? And what is behind crypto? Like, we know at one point gold was behind the dollar.

What is making crypto? worth it. China. There's a limited quantity in some of them. So like Bitcoin, there's only going to be $21 or $23 million or $18 million, whatever it is, ever. So, and that's by design by this, like, the lack of a better term, like an equation, essentially. The blockchain is the thing that the mining is done on and the printing of each transaction is done on, but there's a limited amount. So if you have by Bitcoin, when you know there's not going to be any more than $20 million, ever, now you have a piece of the world that should have value. But there's no fucking value.

It's whatever we pretend it is. There's no different than bags and, you know, sneakers and all this other shit. Are these sneakers worth fucking $500? Only because we decide. It depends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it depends. It's worth $6, realistically. I bought some motherfucking, well, you know, I got into stocks last year with the S&P 500,

but I got into buying individual stocks this year. Got that AMC shit, I know. Man. I know, mother. You know what made me buy AMC? That goddamn Marvel commercial that showed all the movies that were coming out over the next couple of years in Marvel. People need to go see these. I was just sitting back and I love movie theaters.

I want to own a movie theater one day. So I'm looking like, I'm going to buy me some AMC stock. I hit my financial guys. I want to buy me some AMC stock. This is like a month ago. I bought it at $9 a share. And now? That shit was $42 a share this morning.

God bless. They're doing a squeeze on it. I don't give a fuck. I took my initial investment out yesterday. Yeah. Which was like $15K. I didn't even put 10% of my portfolio. I just put like 15K in there.

I took that out yesterday, and I'm just playing with house money at this point. But it's just interesting to watch because you're sitting there like, I didn't do shit to make this money. Well, you got very lucky with that one because I think the hedge funds were betting against it, and then the Reddit community came together,

similar thing to GameStop, and the Reddit community came together and they're like, let's fuck over the hedge funds. But it's common sense, though, right? Like, your movies got to come back. Well, theater's got to come back. It was the opposite. The common sense was that movies were going to be done.

And that's why the hedge funds basically bet against the whole thing. And then the Reddit community came out and they were just like, yo, fuck these hedge funds. Why don't we all dump our money into the stock to pump it up? And if we can keep it pumped up long enough, these hedge funds will lose millions and millions and millions of dollars. So that's what they're trying to do. I looked at the production studios.

Short squeeze, it's called. When I saw that these production studios were still spending, you know, multi-millions of dollars to produce films, I'm like, okay, theater's not going to where because I'm looking at Disney Plus and HBO Max, like the experience isn't the same. Unless you got a theater in your motherfucking house,

it's just simply not the same. When I was in Miami, last thing we did in Miami's, we saw a movie one of the last week. It was called Dream Horse. It was actually like a really fun. Dream Horse? Yeah, really funny.

Really. Bores. Oh, I'm about to say. What the fuck y'all want that at? Dream Horse. No, no. Not, not. No, no.

What? No. It was called a Dream Horse. And it was a, and we're in this movie theater, and this was the coolest thing ever. We were the only two people in the movie. That's great. Well, that shit, having your feet up talking out loud about the movie to your fiancé, to your wife, whatever, while it's going in this huge movie. Was y'all smooching in there because you all by yourself?

It's one of those things where it's like, we could, but like, you could do whatever you want. Bro, welcome to my life. I do morning radio. So if I do morning radio six to ten, I'm at the time. The matinee, baby. Oh, that's right. What are you being? Yeah, that's nice.

Yes. We have the matinee. The movie. It was in that moment. I really understood, you know, where, like, rich people do a, theater in their house. Like, I'm surprised you don't have a theater in your house.

Hey, man. Are you building? Take all that AMC money. That's why I got through the AMC money. Yeah. You know what I mean? God is good. You know what I mean?

But that's, but that is a cool thing. Like, going there with Wifee, lock in, closed doors. That's it. Your TV outside, that's kind of fire. Maybe that's a good little situation. Your TV outside in the living room where you watch, you know, like the fights or whatever. Games.

The games. Like, you want to have the shit going. But then the movie room where it's like, yo, we're going to lock in. Lock in. But everybody don't have a theater. So Quiet Place 2 did $70 million this past weekend. Is that right? Yes, in theaters.

Cruella did like $40 million and it was on Disney Plus. Nice. So it did $40 million at the box office, whatever it did on Disney Plus. Lettas are back. Quiet Place, it's 70 million. Worldwide. $70 million. And that's a horror film, right?

Yes, rated R. A horror film is, and I don't know all the tech going on it, but most horror films are pretty super easy, but they're cheap, right? Because most of it is like tension, dark lighting. There's not like these crazy explosions or anything. That Fast and Fury is probably take $100 million. In Quiet Place, I ain't got no fucking dialogue. I'll be a horror guy.

I'll be the horror guy. You said you want to be the hero. Make up your mind. shit. Yeah, yeah. So you're the bad guy. I think you should be in Robin Hood, men and tights.

No, no, man. I'm scared the bad guy. Robin Hood. They're just going to say, hey, bring your pants. And low-key, Robin Hood. Robin Hood, about a notorious thunk who likes to wear tight pants. That's his calling card.

Call it Robin Hoods. Robin Hoods. Because he's out there, Robin Hood. Robin Hoods, men and tights. Oh, my God. So you and you all wear tight yoga pants. All the guys who are out there who think they're tough guys in the hood and stuff like that, I'm going out, I like beating up the bad guys.

Steal from the poor give to the me. I bring it to the churches for tides. Oh, that's actually fun. Oh, that's incredible. I've actually been doing that. All the years I've been selling drugs. I've been selling, like, to pay my ties up my drug money. I had another.

That's a good idea. I had another idea for a movie called, I've been doing that. I want to call it Carchella. Yeah, and it's a bunch of guys that go rob like a car show. You know what Envy does his big show called Carcella. So you have a bunch of guys who plot, the same guys who be robbing cars in Jersey. and everywhere else. Like bad boys.

They plot on Carchella because they know that's where all the cars are. Like the Jamaicans in Miami did. It's gone in 60 seconds. So bad boys. Yeah. It's gone to 60 seconds that Nick Cage movie. Remember that shit? Yes.

But about Carcella. Yes. That's fine. You want them on Miami Highway like they did in Bad Boys when the Jamaicans stole that thing and they was wilding. That'd be fire. They steal the cars and going on the highway like that. And then they're out.

What a crazy chase scene. Yeah. And they'd be envying them out there trying to chase the envy out there wild. And he's running. Beer died dripping down his house. Are you ready, Taylor? Let's take a break now because I got a pee. Is that cool?

Oh, all right. Well, let's take a break. We pay some bills. Okay, let's stop and pay some bills, man. This episode of The Brilliant Idiots is sponsored by Blue Chew. Say it with us, Blue Chew. Blue Chew is making waves and bringing more confidence to the bedroom by offering chewable tablets that can help men get stronger

and have longer lasting erections. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle's, but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost. Blue Choo's tablets help men achieve harder, stronger erections to combat all forms of erectile dysfunction. Blue Choo is an online prescription service, so no visits to the doctor's office,

no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy, and it ships right to your door in a discrete package. The process is simple. Sign up at Bluetooth.com. Consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

The best part, it's all done online. Blue Chooze licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription. Don't like swallowing pills, no problems here. Blue Chooze to dollar-filled tablets are chewable. Blue Chooze tablets are made in the USA and they prepare and ship direct so it's cheaper than a pharmacy. So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, visit bluechew.com

for more details and important safety information. And we've got a special deal for our love. Listeners, try Bluetooth free when you use our promo code idiots at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's Bluetooth.com promo code idiots to receive your first month free. And we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the Brilliant Idiots Podcast. Today's Brilliant Idiot Podcast is also bought to you by Cushy Dreams. Look, man, we know the world today is nuts.

You heard what we was talking about earlier where a guy was just sitting in wax his car with his feet cocked up and just a P-code on, okay? Just when it seems like things are getting better, we're hit with these. even more reasons to be anxious and uncomfortable, okay? And that's why our friends at Cushy Dreams can help. Cushy Dreams helps you to deal with people because they specialize in high-quality, smokable CBD. And CBD has been shown to help with anxiety, depression, inflammation,

even pain relief, and more. And smoking CBD gets it into your system right away so you don't have to wait long for the effects. Cushy Dreams is Scroodinary CBD, rich hemp flour, comes in eighth ounce cans and pre-rolled joints. It is cannabis that ships directly to you and directly to all 50s. States, okay, and discreetly. They offer indica and sativa screens that deliver effects like

relax, create, hustle, peace, energy, dream. Let me tell you something. Nothing like cushy dreams on a nice summer day when you're sitting on your back porch, watching the trees, listening to the birds. You don't necessarily want to get high, but you want to relax, all right? That's cushy dreams. Whether you want to smoke beautiful butter pre-rolls, their popular pre-roll joints are rolled in organic hemp paper and feature an even slow burn. With cushy dreams, experience the therapeutic benefits of CBD with full flour, full spectrum, and full flavor. We know you're sick of carts, vapes, gumbies, and want to smoke your CBD. And now you can enjoy all of the benefits of cannabis without getting high.

Go to cushy dreams.com. That's k-U-S-H-Y dreams.com. At checkout, use promo code idiots for 20% off your next order. Smoke your CBD with promo code idiots and get 20% off to date. Now let's get back to the show. The announcements are a very important part of what we do in church. All right, let's do some church announcements.

Wax, you got some church announcements? Soon, the paintball facility you're going to be opened up really soon. So make sure y'all get your teams ready. T. Diddy says you're going to have something and put something on the website. So y'all put your teams up there. Podcast wars.

Make sure y'all get your teams. And figure out who you're going to fight. God bless you, Wax. For Bullying the Bees, what did you guys have today? This week. Oh, bully in the beast, we had a sex expert. And she actually let me know that. I don't know how to have sex.

Really? Yeah, I've been bullshit in all these years. Well, that's probably why you enjoy fighting more. Yeah. Because you know how to fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know how to fight. You don't have a boxing coach on.

Huh? You have a boxing coach on. No. Yeah. So that he can describe, like, how you've been fighting incorrectly as well. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've probably been knocking people out incorrectly for a really long time.

Yeah, but in that ring, you'll get embarrassed. Did you see that coach? You see that boxing coach and that's an old man. They ain't got nothing to do with. That dude can't fight in the street. That dude can't fight. My little nephew would be him up for sure. That dude can't fight.

That boxing coach would embarrass you. No, he won't. The boxing coach. Yo, hold. Hold on. Tell me why you feel like he embarrassed me. Because he knows how the boxing, you don't. With that guy to do anything, hand-eye coordination.

Like, if I see something coming at me and I'm not going to his move, a very, very good at football. Was it because of the training that you did or simply hand-eye coordination? Mostly is. because I play soccer first and then when I came out there, I was overly, I overly did things. I was outstanding. I was outstanding because I knew how to do more things like my feet work and stuff, me and my side. But you had some training. Yeah, I had training is what made you good. I understand that, but just my ability of being who I was, I know a whole lot of dudes who train and with the practice way more to me. Coach, take the fuck out. Wax, the only reason why

wax it and go in because I was late to practice all the time. I wasn't going to practice. and I used to come in there and dominate because of my ability of who I work. I can't wait to have this conversation next week after Floyd Mayweather embarrasses Logan Paul. So we can see the difference. Because I don't think he understands boxing, boxing. I think Wax really thinks is put the gloves on,

going there and knock somebody up. What you mean? That's what everybody going there to do, right? Listen, I understand. I understand there's a science to this all day long. You understand? But if you go on there and you can knock somebody to fuck out, That's what happens.

No. You would swing at Floyd Mayweather and he would, in, in Floyd, it would be in super slow motion and you would see Floyd laughing. Yeah, yeah,

as you swung some big wild punch and then he connects, and then he connects you on your chin and knocks you out. Why can it be an official punch? Why don't know how to do an official punch? What are you talking to? In a boxing ring,

it's a difference. I'm not talking about it in the street. It ain't got nothing to do with nothing. You're telling me that I can't officially throw a, punch the right way? No. What's wrong with y'all?

Not that Floyd Mayweather. I don't even care what y'all talking about right now. When you see how he makes Logan Paul look on Saturday, you're going to realize. It's Saturday or Sunday? Saturday. You can't even fuck the right way.

How the hell are you going to box it right way? Let's be honest, bro. Well, she told me I ain't know how to fucking fuck. I was like, what the fuck is going on? I'm like, that's a what? You know girls have balls? Yeah. The fuck I didn't know that?

That's not what she said. That's what I heard. She said the balls. She said the balls fill up, and that's why girls get to squirt. It fill up so much. It didn't a burst, and that's why it squirts. Wait, what? Who would you have on?

She was a sex lady. Caitlin's your sex lady. I'm telling you. She has to Samaya. No, that's not what. Samaya might have some balls, bro. I'm not judging wax for anything that he's into, bro. Listen, if you're into girls with balls, I don't care, do you think.

You're going to be my brother regardless. It would look like this. You're going to be someone else's sister, but you're going to be our brother. Listen, it ain't looked like this, yo? What is that? It had the two balls right here, and it had the clip right here. Okay, so that's just a little dick.

You were talking to someone as a little dick. No, she showed us the thing. All right. No, but I... No, she's showing us the clitoris. Then what's the two things on the side? Lips. No, hell, no, I mean.

I don't want you to pay attention in sex eight. You know how they're teaching the little first graders how to masturbate? Yeah, that was unbelievable. I don't like that. It's not cool. We can talk about it. What's your church and sex eight?

announcements. I'm teaching a masturbation class for first graders. It will be up on Patreon. No, yo, the infamous store, man. Get your tickets. Theandrewshoulds.com. Get your tickets right now. We'll be in Orlando this weekend. Thank God. Thank you so much. That's all sold out. St. Louis sold out. Thanks, San Antonio might be sold out. Maybe there's some tickets. Go check it. But Theandrewshalls.com, check out all the dates. And those are the dates. They're going to be from here until the new year. So if you want to come see, me before 2021 is over. Make sure you pop into

one of those days before the tickets are gone. Thank you guys for selling out all the shows that you sold out already, man. Go keep doing that. I've seen you in Orlando.

Yeah, yeah. Took a picture of me. Clowning me for that picture. It's kind of wild. It was a wild pick. Mine is simple. Go to black effect.com. You know,

make sure you subscribe to all the podcasts on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tamika Mallory, State of Emergency, How to Win in the Country We Built is out right now. It is doing amazing. Thank you to everybody that's grabbed a copy.

Anita Copac's Shallow Waters will be out August 3rd. That is a young adult fiction book that's coming out on Black Privilege Publishing. So I'll be exhausting, y'all talking about that a lot real soon. And my audiobook on Audible, We've Got Answers. You know, it's free with an Audible membership. Just look it up, Shalameen to God. We've got answers, okay? Now let's get back to the show.

Yes, I don't think first graders should be getting taught about Basta. I agree. I was not thinking about masturbation in first grade. Can you give the context to this? I don't even know what the context is. I just know that it's a school that was teaching first grade is about masturbation. As a parent, I, first of all, want to give consent in order for my child to learn about those things. Right? So it should be a form that comes home to say, hey, this is what we want to teach your child about. Field trip. Yes. Do you agree? If I don't agree, then they don't teach my child about it. They did that when we're in school. Really? That's what I'm saying. For sex ed, you had to get the paperwork sign.

I remember watching kids when I was in middle school. Oh, yeah, that was wild. That's my neighborhood. Really? Yeah. The teacher let us watch kids. I used to see some of those guys. Like, the black kid in there, he's dead.

R-I-P-something Hunter, I think his name is. We was just a skater. He'd be in the neighborhood. Kids, he's talking about the movie, right? Yeah, yeah. With Casper and all of them. Casper and all. Yeah.

They let us watch that in middle school, but I think that was like some summer school and shit. But your parents always tell you not the massive big, period. That's just, that's like this. My parents never told me anything about masturbation, but I know the first time that I masturbated to completion, I told my father. To you know? To completion? But that's something you're always supposed to hide. Like, you can't let people know that's what you do.

Yeah. I mean, the only thing that you should be telling kids, I'm reading it right now, parents at NYC schools are furious that this masturbation education video is being shown in first grade. Unbelievable. Amanda Seals comment, how is there even time in the curriculum? Listen, the only thing you should teach kids about masturbation is don't do it in public. Well, that's what the man this issue was. What? That there's not enough time?

I think she was making a joke. She put L-O-L at the end of. A listener called up, though, today and said that they, she thinks that it's okay to tell, or just like what you just said. Just tell them, don't do it in public. Because she said that she's a teacher and she says, like, there's kids that will masturbate in class or they'll go to the bath and masturbate and all that. They don't know any better.

But isn't that the beauty of life, though, when you're that young that you don't have any shame? Like, you don't even know what you're supposed to be. be ashamed about. Should be piss me off. You know what I mean? So what's up with them dudes in the train? They just be jerking off on the train all the time. Leave kids alone.

It really bother me, man. You don't do that. Let go. Let it go, Hazie. Let them feel uncomfortable. Let them do things that are silly. And you're a teacher. It's your responsibility.

You can tell them not to do something or maybe you do something privately. But you don't need to teach them how to do something. So many these kids aren't doing anything. And then we feel like so much responsibility to like go on and educate the youth about everything in the world. They're innocent. We're the fucked up ones. That's right. Stop putting your fucked up shit on them. Give them. We're actually saying earlier when he's at one of these parties, he likes hanging out with the kids because they don't lie. Adults lie. They lie to you. That's right. You do fucked up shit. And what we're trying to do is we're trying to like almost

teach our kids how to lie. Stop putting your fucked up shit on the kids. They're fine. They're innocent. If a kid makes a fucked up joke to another kid, he doesn't know it's wrong. That's right. He doesn't know. If a kid calls another kid fat, he's not doing it to be mean if they're young, He's making an observation. That's it. He's using an adjective. You made your kid fat. Maybe you should look at your fat fucking kid.

An adjective that you taught him. You taught that kid. That's right. But if your kid is fat, maybe the parents need to stop feeding your fucking kids to make him so fat. That's not the other kid's fault. It's your fault. If you're fat at 25, that's on you.

If you're fat at six, your parents is fucked up. Parents fault. So the adults constantly fuck up the kids. And for some reason, we're putting a responsibility in adults that don't even care about the kids to make them better. The kids are good. Leave them the fuck alone. Let them be kids.

Drives me crazy. When I was in first grade... Jerking off as a devil. Huh? I'm just saying that's what my own parents used to tell me jerking off is the devil. I never heard that. My parents never told me anything about...

That's what I'm saying. They do you so you don't do it. My mom and dad never had conversations with me about masturbation, nor did they ever teach me how to masturbate. I just started masturbating until I was a teenager. I started masturbating after I had sex. They're not... I'm serious.

They're not teaching the kids, though. I did. You just generally, this shit is whack. No, you know what it was? No, no, no. Because the girl I was with was like I was in love with her. And, you know, we weren't together no more. So I was, and I actually remember jacking off thinking to myself like, man, look what she's making me do.

Like, why am I, like, why do I have to jack off? You're checking up without porn? On your knees. Yeah. I didn't use porn until like late in life. Over here, the rentals, bro. Use your fucking memory. You didn't have magazines or?

I didn't need it. I had everything right here. I never dried jerks. Also, I don't like jerking off my eyes open. I don't like looking down to see me jerk off. Why? That's just weird. Y'all, if you look at a mirror, if you look in the mirror, you would never jerk off again.

That's arrogant. That's how narcissistic you are. Yeah, you're crazy. Yo, I'm killing it right now. I'll be looking down like, this is how it looks? Oh, you're wow. I'm all right. I'm a right.

If you can look at the mirror or jerk off to the same porn twice. you're a killer. Why are you looking in the mirror, though? To make sure I never do it again. See, how silly. Oh, you said to make sure. I thought you said Jamaica. He's looking at himself.

He's looking at himself. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That is. Yo, some guys, I see what I see like gay dudes that are dating dudes that are looking just like them. I'm like, you arrogant.

You're not even into that dude. You into you. Get a mirror, you cocky, son of bitches. What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, that don't make no sense. I just tried something, though, and I should have did it because now I don't want to drink off again. It looks so stupid.

I often wonder if I had never gotten molested, when would I have started thinking about sex? I don't know why you had to make it all about that, but we were having so much fun talking about jerks about corrupting kids. And you need to bust out the fucking violent. I never got it. But you miss the second part. He was like, if you watch the same porn twice,

you're a serial killer. Yes. No, no, that's not. You got to have your favorites. No, why because. No, let's get back to that before Charlemagne's ceremony in this whole comment. No, why?

It's not even meant to be done. Keep on. Keep about it. Keep about talking about. I got you. In the arms of an angel. That's why Ming got to therapy. Nobody takes our traumas seriously.

Excuse me. What he said? For 10 cents a day, you two can save Charlotteman from his aunt that really had a stinking-ass Jerry curl. It wasn't my son. It was my cousin's ex-wife. Whatever the fuck it was. For 10 cents a day, you can save Charlotte, man.

Y'all, you know what? You know, it probably wasn't really Jerry Curts. It probably wasn't on wigs. No, she definitely had a Jerry girl. Because I remember the wigs that people was putting on. I seen some of them. When did y'all start thinking about sex? When did I start thinking about sex?

Yeah, mine was too early too. Because you used to get molested. Yeah. No, I was humping the shit of this teddy bear. I had a big ass teddy bear. And I was giving that teddy bear the work. At what age? Oh, no, maybe eight.

But teddy bears is the only guys. Yeah, listen, Teddy bears is only guys back in the day. Teddy bears wasn't a girl. What are you talking about? They never made a girl teddy bear. They did. They had a girl teddy bear. They had a bunch of girl care bears.

Where? Man, you are. A teddy bear is a boy, right? Say what? You never had a girl, Teddy bear? Why is a teddy bear a boy? Teddy beer. Care bear, teddy bear.

Care bears is boys, too. Teddy is a boy. Teddy's not a boy. Teddy's who? Teddy stands for Tendarilla. No. Teddy is a dude, yo. Teddy bears are, it can just be a stuffed animal. It don't got to be a teddy bear.

Yeah, teddy bear is really named after theodore Roosevelt. So it is the president that is based on. So, according. to a kid's house.org. I'm sorry, did you just interrupt fun? Well, we having too much fun right now? You interrupted fun for fact? You got to tell us a fact.

Wait a minute, at least. Reddit, get her. Get her, Reddit, get her. Get her, Reddit, get it. Shit. Reddit is on Taylor's ass. Really? Guess what?

And guess what? And they got to go. I got to the brewing in this page. Guess what? Is there people at that party yet? Yeah. They're starting. They're coming.

Really? They're starting to come. I'll just like my dick because of what. Oh shit. Ready. You heard that? He still going to listen to the podcast. According to wax.

They still go listen to the podcast and everything else. So keep coming. Now why not you got a dick? Huh? Oh. Whatever. Anyways. Children five to nine start masturbating.

Children are five foot nine. Five to nine. Like the age five to nine. That's what I never did that. No way. Okay. I didn't masturbating at a young age too. Let me, let me, let me explain what this is.

This is not, I don't like the use of masturbation. What it is is touching yourself. Exactly. They're like touching themselves to rub their shit up against. Yes. You know what I mean? This is calm. It's common because it feels good.

It's a sensation. They'll do it, right? But that doesn't mean they're actively trying to come. Yeah, jerk on. They just feel a good thing. You got, you got a white ball. You got to do this when you go in the bathroom after you finish. I don't even think you can come that young.

Say what? You can't come that young. Yeah, you can't come that young. Yeah, you ain't got balls yet. I could, but y'all can. Y'all can. I could come that young. I was coming young.

No way. I was masturbating at young age, but I didn't know. I was younger. I was younger. I was younger. Okay. What's a young age? What's a young age?

What's a young age? I probably was like seven or eight. I was about five or six. I was not five or six. Yo, you were. You were old, but compared to everyone else. I don't know. I just knew that I felt good and I would.

Jesus. I was coming or not, but I felt a sensation. Come on, yo. This is weird, man. Go watch. That shit. You need that, Taylor. They got to bring that.

I can't believe this, Taylor. Unbelievable. Does your mom know about this? Say what? Have you gotten caught? Hell no. You get caught by your mom. You don't care.

She's seven years old playing with her lower marriage. That's honestly normal. Listen, if you ever get caught by your parents, you probably get caught and going to jail. There's a lot of, I know a lot of people that was at age doing that. I didn't start math. No way.

Teenage stuff. But I didn't know what sex was, nothing like that. Did you grow up in the church or something? I don't know. The Catholic church, maybe starting young with that shit. This is crazy. What?

It's true. I remember reading this in Chelsea Handler book. She said she used to do it when she was mad young, but she used to do it in public. So somebody had to tell her to stop doing it. Her parents used to act like they didn't see her at first. And then somebody had to tell her to stop doing it. That's why I say the only thing you got to tell kids is not to do it in public because they don't know what they're doing is wrong. And it's not wrong.

Let me take that back. It's not wrong. But, you know, inappropriate. Inappropriate. It says the devil. You don't touch that. What are you doing? Relax.

And then especially boys? Nah, because that's even scary or wax? I'm still thinking that is crazy. What if you tell them that it's the devil? And then they start getting boners and they're like, oh my God, the devil possess me. Or it is boned. The devil to jerk off. I mean, we didn't know what it meant.

You know what I'm saying? We just like, yo, that means don't jerk off. Who want to get caught jerking off anyway? I don't know how you get caught. That is the stupidest thing. It's the dumbest thing in the world. You lock on the door. Go jerk off in the bathroom like everybody else.

Your parents like you lock your door? In the bathroom? In the bathroom? In the bathroom? Who masturbates in the bathroom? I mean, you masturbate that? I used to do two days. I get home from work.

Not work. I get home from school, jerk off. Relax a little bit, take a shit. Jerk off again. You did two a day? Two days. I didn't ring around my thighs and butt cheeks. You're a wild guy for real.

You math a bed on the toilet? On the toilet. Two times a day, you can have two times jerk off. Jerk off shit. Jerk off again. All one sitting. You have nothing to fucking do for the rest of the day. After you get home from school, you had nothing to do.

You wasn't cut grass. You wouldn't do a shit. I couldn't hold a pen, bro. Cut grass. I grew up in Manhattan. They know grass. That's what I'm saying. That's why you able to jerk off.

Oh, yeah. I was jerking off like non-stop. I didn't have chores. I need y'all to love y'all. I need y'all to love yourself, man. Say what? Love y'all yourself. Why y'all y'all stuff?

I was loving me. You just go in the bathroom and just, no, man, make love to yourself. No, man. Hell no. Yes, man. Put them except a wound. You still got a meet in your hair. You got to think about that.

You got to have to drink off before you think about that shit. You guys do like 40-old version when he was about to masturbate. What's that? Set the tone? I used to use Vaseline. I used to tone, baby. Nah. I used Vaseline.

My mom actually was like, yo, why are we having Vaseline? I used to do that dumb shit. Like, because you know how you've never finished a tub of Vaseline? Like that shit last one? I've never jerked off of Vaseline. I tried it once. I think it's stupid.

No, you got to smash the Vaseline jar. You got to smash it. That's exactly what he says. Yeah. I bet you're way better for that. You're way better than you're going to grab it and putting in your hair? Yeah, but later tonight, I'm going to do that. You know, I'm trying that.

That's a fact, Trout. You know, after hearing this conversation, they need to teach masturbation in first grade. I think we should have been there for the course. I think we missed out. Can we get one of the teachers from the school to come on? Yeah, you might be right. They need to tell. Talk to us.

I don't think about it. I learned some other shit this week, man. What else? Stop smashing Vaseline jars. Yeah. He stopped doing the. after he, or before he met Carla. Yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. The 20-year-old girl on OnlyFans, they have a new challenge on OnlyFans where they eat a scoop of workout powder with no water. Come to the Cinnamon Challenge. And this young lady had a heart attack. Yeah, that's what I'm saying? No, no, she didn't die. She had a heart attack, though.

At 20? Slow down. Yes, at 20 years old, doing that fucking stupid-ass challenge. You can't breathe. I just don't understand the point. Yeah. When I do things, I have to ask myself why. Yeah.

What is the why of taking a spoonful of workout? Going viral. With no water. Bro, how about let's focus on the, let's see how long we can live challenge. You know what I mean? Stay healthy challenge. Like to stay healthy challenge, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Let's grow old people.

Like, you can't be 20 years old. Have grandkids challenge. Yes, man. Have grandkids challenge. Come on. What happens when you die about something, or something like this. That's what people are willing to do, though.

I ought to be stupid challenge. I know God is like backing people away from heaven at this point. It's got to be like a limbo for people who die like this because you haven't done enough to get through the pearly gates. Yeah. And Satan is like, well, they didn't really sin. They just were stupid. But we don't want them here either.

So it's kind of like you're just hanging out. Your guy got DMs. You know, the side DMs and the side DMs. He ain't checking those shit. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in.

It's just like, no, bro. Like, it's just stupid. What did you think of Kari disrespect? Let's get into some things you won't care about next week. What do you think of Kari Irvin disrespect in the Celtics logo? I expected it. I also think it's good fodder. I mean, he's just kind of like an emotional dude.

So I see him doing something like that. But like, he's also the type of guy who's like, I mean, we're just playing basketball. This is a game at the end of the day. And like, let's not take this too seriously and blah, blah, blah. And then he stepped on an imaginary mascot. So it's like, is it a game? So you too? Like, what is it?

Like, I love the wrestling of it because it gets people all charged up and excited and the fans are going to go crazy, blah, blah, blah. But I find him to be a little bit hypocritical because he can't act like he's over all the trash talk and then go and step on the mascot. It's just a little bit. Interesting. Interesting. What do you think? Um, I mean, it's disrespectful, but that was the point. He meant to disrespect. He clearly meant the disrespect.

Also, I think, you know, Kyrie should just be cognizant of other people's triggers. just like he wants people to be aware of his. You know what I mean? That's all. Just be aware of other people's triggers. Like you knew that was going to trigger somebody. That's why he did it. That's why he did it.

So just be aware of other people's triggers. I think that, you know, we've seen Kyrie take breaks for his mental health, which he has every right to do. But just be aware of other people's triggers. Because sometimes we do unintentionally trigger people and we don't think about it. To him, it's just like I'm going to do this on the Celtics logo. We're sending them home anyway. You know what I mean?

So I'm a disrespect. them. Just be aware of other people's triggers. That's all. We pulled up on somebody. When they played football, somebody dumped all over our logo, and we went to a union. They packed up in cars and went to go fight them. That's really disrespectful.

Yeah, I thought the fan was the stupidest guy. What, to throw the water bottle? Throwing the water bottle. Because it's not the fan's job to defend the logo with the team. Yeah. You know what I mean? All in one. Everybody is won.

Sort of, but your team's getting their ass bust. That should have motivated the Celtics on whatever. When they got sent home, Monday night, Tuesday, that, I don't remember. Like, that should have motivated them to come out there and bust the fucking nuts ass. At least get one more game for them disrespecting your logo. And then make them come back to the garden and let the fans go crazy, booing them and all types of shit. But, you know, that's my thing.

It's just like, it's not the fans job. You know what else I was thinking, too? What's that? Was Ron Artes wrong? No. In hindsight? Nope. Not at all right.

Swing on these motherfuckers out. Swing on these motherfuckers. If you spit on me, dude? Yeah, come on now. That's a salt. That's a salt. That's a salt. You go to jail for that.

That's a salt. And we don't know what type of spit it was. You know what I'm saying? Come on, come on, come on. Probably got coming in it or, you know what I'm saying? It's not. Why would they have coming from? I don't know.

Never mind. Shit, we won't care about next week. Quick, let me suck your dick. I got a spit on someone. I don't think. Oh, damn. I don't think they ever said that. Right?

Who said that before life? In life? I don't think anybody haven't said that. That's wild your homeboy gets spin on. He's like, man, what the fuck? Maybe he might be coming that shit.

It's so crazy. Matter of fact, let's pay some bills, man. All right, bet. Just pay some bills. Then we come back with some asking idiots. All right, guys, we get to take a break for a second because some of you guys might be carrying a credit card balance

month after month, okay? And you're not the only ones. High-ins. interest rates make it hard to pay off your debt, but Upstart can help you with that. Join the thousands of happy borrowers who made that final payment. Upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online. Okay? Whether it's paying off credit cards, consolidating high interest debt, or funding personal expenses,

over half a million people have used Upstart to get a simple fixed monthly payment. Unlike other lenders, Upstart looks at more than just your credit score, like your income, and employment history. This means that they can offer smarter rates with the trusted partners. With a five-minute online rate check, you can see your rate upfront for loans between $1,000 to $50,000.

Okay, you can receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan. All right now, right now, you can find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments. Yours can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com slash idiots.

That's upstart.com slash idiots. don't forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you. Okay, one, let me tell you something. One loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income and certain other information provided in your loan application. All right. So go to upstart.com slash idiots. Go get your loan, consolidate that debt,

and pay that thing off so you can be financially free. Now let's get back to the show. Financial freedom is our only hope. Let's go. I'm honest with you. I don't know shit about stocks, but boy, that AMC stock jumping. I'm so glad I'm so. Humming.

Man. Humming. And that's the craziest part is knowing, I guess, when to take your money out. I told you I took out my initial investment, but now I'm looking at this money, and I'm like, do I just take it now? You know what I mean?

You believe in it? I do believe in it, but it's like... Yeah, it might go crazy. Maybe it may even jump up this far. It's going crazy. I think the highest has ever been is $35. That shit is at like $45 right now. There's a very famous investor.

His name is Bernard Baruch. He's the guy who, Baruch. college is named after, like, there's a bunch of Baruch things here. And he said, I made a fortune selling too soon. A lot of people go, oh, you don't want to sell too soon. You don't want to sell too soon.

They act like that's a bad thing. He goes, I made a fortune selling too soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the opposite is selling too late. Yeah. And you lose a fortune. It's selling too late. So if you want to take your money out.

He's got no win. Exactly. There's no way you're going to predict the exact height. So as long as you take your money out, you make some, you'll have other things to invest in in the future. Oh, 100%. It's just like knowing when to pull out when a girl. Like, everybody goes all the way to that last thing we pull right out.

Nobody got pregnant pulling out too soon. Why should we pull out too soon? Nobody got pregnant and pulling out too soon, right? Why should we listen to you? You don't know how to have sex. So says the sex therapist. That's a good point. I mean, I know how to pull out, but I just don't know how to, like, have sex out.

You had three girls pregnant at once. Do you know how to pull out, bro? I know how to pull out. You had three girls pregnant at once. I was on purpose. I wanted 20. If 20 girls at those two weeks that I was thinking like that, if those 20 girls who came,

I would have pregnant all 20 of them girls. Why? STDs. Why are you thinking about that? I have no idea. I was just like, my life at that time. You didn't have anything going on for yourself. I did.

I actually did. I was playing ball. And I just like, yo, I'm playing ball. And I normally make a lot of money. You want to turn you back on all the kids. And I was like, yo, I might have a bunch of kids. And all the guys that I was around, everybody was just like nothing.

and everybody was like a free frog. All the guys that she was around, y'all was nothing to each other. No, I'm just saying it was nothing to a bunch of girls. It was just like a bunch of wild shit happened in Miami. I only see how y'all survived, man. You're okay? All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, had each other.

Miami's wild, man. Miami's wild. I ain't gonna lie. Miami's wild. Let's do some asking idiots, Taylor. Let's go. Knock on one wants to know, Schultz. What do you feel about bonnets?

How do I feel about bonnets? What's the bonnet? Is that the Nick Cannon shit? Don't act like you know a date of a black woman. That's a turban. Bonnet is what they put on when they go to sleep. Yes. Yeah.

You use one every night? No, not every night. So is it like a do rag for a girl? Yeah. We wear a bonnet and scar. I guess I wear a bonnet to them. But you didn't ask the full question, though, Taylor. Like Monique was saying that you shouldn't wear that type of stuff in public.

Why not? Like if you're going to the airport, stuff like that. Why not? Maybe girls. Because. I kind of look, maybe I'm weird. For a black woman is presentable. It's not presentable.

That's what, but that's how I would, I was, I would say I wouldn't walk out like that. Respectability. But I'm not mad at any girl. Respectability. I don't think she'd do that. I wouldn't want my girl doing that. What? A hair bonnet.

Even if you're, even if she's going to the airport is an early flight. Why not? Maybe if she's going to, maybe, I don't know the grocery store. I don't know. How I look at it. Can I see what it looks like? It's just the hair bonnet. If I was on a long flight and I was flying somewhere, I put my hair bonnet on.

But can I see what it looks like? If she, now she's in a chair, but if she walking through the airport, maybe a little different. I don't see the problem. What's the issue? Especially if it's early in the morning. Show me a hair bonnet. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can't wear that too.

Is it a shower cap. This is a shower. He's a shower. He was on yesterday. Who? He definitely did her. The Jamaicans with the long dredge. He had that.

Oh, they didn't wear the bonnets out of where. They did. That's not a money. Jamaican's dude. I thought this was different. I thought it was the tight one. You know what? The one's like rap super tight.

That's a line. That's a scarfs. That's a firearm is fired. But I don't know. Jamaicans wear, Jamaican men with long dreadlocks. They don't wear bonnets, though. Man, they wear bonnets, man.

And sometimes they wear a scarpe inside a bonnet. Jamaican man. You know, look, that's a bonnet. Yo, say, type you dreadlock in a bonnet. No, do a man. Hey, say that to it, Jamaican. Alex, type in dreadlock in a bonnet

or man bonnet. Donovan, put your hair in your bonnet. Say that shit, say that shit, so what happens. Me not wearing a bonnet. That's a male bonnet. That's a male bonnet. Look at the, look at the sad.

Come on, man. Look at the dude in the blue. Sleep cap. Sandlinna sleep cap. Yeah, but not. Look a dude in the blue. Wasn't everybody clowning that girl? Now, we're on the plane that she do it?

That's cool. Hold on what? You know the guy who would. cheated. He got caught cheating and then his girl came out and she was like had a bonnet right sitting next to him. Oh, that everybody cloned. That clown-ass dude. That loser. That clown-ass. Clown as

a clown-ass motherfucker-motherfucking. And people were clowning shorty because she had a bonnet on in the video. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I mean, you're honest. Different context, different circumstances. You see that young lady in the airport you mind in your business. You know what I'm saying? And she's at the airport with that on. You're not true. Right. White people have no

clue like what black people wear their hair ass. Like, Black people, it's like you can have short hair. Taylor, all of a sudden has dreads out of nowhere. Like, we don't even know what's going on with your hair. So like, like, the idea that we can be like, oh, that's inappropriate. Like, we don't care. Like, whatever you do, that's fine. We assume it's cool.

We'll try to do it and looks weird. And then that's it. So you guys get to decide what's appropriate or not. But white people aren't going, is you wearing a bonnet on the airplane? I don't even think about it. I'm reminded of my business. Now, one thing won't need to say that I agree with the pajamas. I think pajamas is a little wild.

Bajamas is wild to be at the airport. I think the same thing though. Do you see what people wear out? Like, have you been to a club? They wear bikinis out. Like, there is no, wear pajamas. Please wear pajamas. I hope my daughter wear some fucking pajamas

before she wears these outfits these girls wear the club. Wear pajamas to the club. Wear pajamas everywhere. Yes, of course. Everybody mind their fucking business. You don't know why you got the bond and all. You might have a ball spot.

You might have a bold spot. Yeah. Poor girl. That's never the reason. That's probably the reason. No, for real. Not a ball spot. So he should bring a bottle all day long.

That's why Wax wears a do rag all the time. D. Duh. Because he got a ball spot. You got baldy? That's... What? I said, I showed you the picture.

Nah, sent me that shit. Wack got ala. Alapace. What's the raping name? Alopecia. What's the shit called? Alopecia. Let me see that.

No. You guys want to show you my boss. You really got baldy? Yeah. You definitely got a ball spot. It's because the dreads are weighing down too much. It's pulling your hair apart. Why not buzz it up?

Why you do that? Just buzz your hair. You just don't say you don't tell black people to do with their hair. I'm not. I said, why not? I didn't say you should. You don't let you tell you what to do with your body. Okay?

Your body, your choice, wax. All right. How stupid you look with dredas in a ball spot, though? That's crazy. Chill out, man. That looks dumb, bro. What are you talking about? You got full of.

long dreads and you got a ball spot up there that's nuts. Yo, that's nuts. Hey, what if I had some long ass hair and then just the middle was missing? I've seen plenty white people like that. Yes. Plenty. And y'all think they're crazy. No. I was looking. I was like, oh, okay. If a white man with a fucking long ass hair and a ball spot in the middle

walks into a crowded area with a backpack, what you mean? I'd be like, you don't want to let it go? Yes. That's all. I said, I think. He got balls. You don't want to let it go? You don't want to let it go. You guys are thinking? So I'm a little bit more prejudiced to my own people than y'all are. If a white man with that hair, Cut with a backpack.

Walked into a crowded area. I'm jumping on that motherfucker. So hold on. So what's you got? What about the bowhead guys? What do you mean? Stephen one hair? The opposite bow cut.

The opposite bowl cut. Yeah. You know, the bowl cup, you have all the size done, but now it just got the middle gone. And the middle gone. Yeah.

And you see a white guy that looks like he doesn't care about his hair at all. That's cause of concern. That's cause of concern. 100%. Like, And if you know,

if you're not doing that, then honestly, that's on you. If the hair on the edges is done right, though. Like, I might have the balls spot, but everything else is gelled, nice and eat.

It's brushed down. I don't trust that guy. They don't trust me? No, no, no, it's different. With you, something's off. I don't trust the comb over guys. No, no, no, no. The guy that's got the ball spot, but they try to take some hair from this side.

I don't trust that guy. No, I don't trust that. You can work at the bank. Or he's a car lot guy. You can trust them. No way. They look. They're trying to fight for it.

They want to be here. They want to be here from tomorrow, right? They're going, I don't want my hair to, I want to keep as much of my hair on top of my head as possible because I like this life. I'm going. The motherfuckers just stop doing their hair. The white people just don't care about an outfit or nothing like that. You should walk up to white men with come over and say, you ghetto, yo. You know what I'm saying?

You don't even have to be. Stop trying to get something like nothing. They do not like being called ghetto. We called this white person ghetto in Mexico because he was fighting. And my friends are, you can be a little ghetto. He goes, I'm not no ghetto. Or exactly how he said it. Really?

Because they acquit ghetto with black. They were fighting randomly, though. Getto is whack. Nobody wants to be in the ghetto. Nobody wants to be ghetto. If I said to you, yo, stop back and so ghetto, would you be like, thank you. I don't mind. I never got that before.

If I said, you're a ghetto whack. I don't even think what ghetto is. So tell me what ghetto is. Wax is not ghetto. Wax is wax. You're tacky. Yeah, I don't think I don't think blacks is ghetto. Tell me what ghetto is.

I don't know, bro. He is. He is. He is. Thank you. Thank you. Look at him. My girl not home.

Wax presents ghetto. He's not home. He presents ghetto. Matter of fact, don't disrespect people in the ghetto, yo. People in the ghetto weigh their tim's way way better than that. They keep him way clean than that.

My girl's a son. Your Tim's a disaster. Yo, you took that homeless man socks, yo. That's what he didn't tell us. You took that homeless, you took their homeless man socks, yo. Buy me some tips, baby.

Buy you some socks. She's coming in this week. Carla, please, man. Please. Please. I dress myself every day now. You're in some pants too. I washed them shit by myself.

Your Tim's are holding on, man. Like them shit is like a homeover. Your Tims look like they got vaccinated, but you get, you know, they just got the second shot. I'm a little down today.

I'll be back in a couple of days. It's her fault. Listen, I told them I'm not getting dressed as she comes. Oh, my gosh. First time Tim's looking like a work boot. Yo. Them shit look like they do like a comb over for real though.

They do. And I'm not going on with these shit too. Look at your shoes, bro. They look like you got golden retrievers on your feet, bro. I don't know. Baby, go your fault. Is your fault? Come on, bro.

This is crazy. And I can do it. I get crazy right now. Listen, I'm not going to go shopping for myself when I do. Go to Target and just go in a dressing room. You should have gave those to the homeless guy, yo. You really sure. And the socks.

The whole thing. You're the whole outfit. You got a white guy's tins on, bro. You got literally. white guys' thames on. Why are you wearing white dudes tams, right? What's going on, man? I don't know, man. She's not here. Y'all. So I just be like, fuck.

Carla, please. Please, Carla. Move up. We need you. Please. This guy's looking crazy right now. Give us another asking idiot, Taylor. I don't have mercy. We'd got to get her here. I like how we came full circle of our Puerto Ricans on this podcast. We really need to because you look like

you trees your tims like a Vaseline jar, bro. You talk about stop fucking the Vaseline jar. Stop fucking your Tim. You know, they got exhausted in Tim's like like, yo, leave me be, Wes. You're going to walk around to me all day

and fuck the shit out of me at night. If she'd tell you how soon she got, I'm sure she'll probably put up in here, like, I just got them them shit. Hey, yo, your Tims need a mental health break, yo, they are, they are exhausted. You got that. They are exhausted, bro.

Oh, my gosh. What's you doing? Yelling at him? Trying to wake them up? Like the tongue, like the tongue's going CPR. The time's like, you're. You're.

Look at those fucking tips, bro. What kind of call you drove in? All jokes in side, bro. All jokes inside? That's when they're the most comfortable, though. What? When they like that, I love them like that. I'm not going to lie.

For him, for us, it's why I always fuck up. Very uncomfortable. It was an asking idiot tail. Just truly embarrassing. I kind of wouldn't know this, though. Someone, Shane O-Mack said. what does oink-oink shower time mean? Oh, that's an old school.

That's an old school. We can tell you that when we 50. Okay. Yeah. Ten more years. You got to come back around to that. The Overton windows on that still. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Sorry about that 10 years from now. Sorry. Okay. I want people to think about all this stuff 10 years from now when we really old and don't really give a fuck no more. Okay.

Oink, oink shower time was lit, though. Oh, okay. Yo, oink, oint, choward time was super lit. Get that shit. FIntyre. Filarious. Yes, underscore double underscore you wants to know if you could share one life hack with your children, future children, what would it be? One life hack?

I mean, when you got kids, everything is a life hack because, you know, if you're a certain age, you've lived. So you've had experiences that they don't have yet. You know what I'm saying? You've learned things that they have yet to learn. So it's really a cheat code. That's why I always tell kids, listen to your eldest. You know what I mean? Like it's a cheat code.

Like it's a shortcut to victory. All you got to do is listen to those who came before you. By the way, it don't even always have to be eldest. Just listen to those who came before you. And I'm not saying do exactly what it is that they do. Let's listen. Just listen. The cheat code.

Don't shy away from the bad things too. No, no. You got to. You got to. The bad things that made me at least know what not to do. Same. You know what I'm saying? So you need the bad things too.

I'm happy I grew up in the hood because I see both sides. seen me growing up in a church, and I see me actually growing up in the hood. And I seen both sides. So I adapted both. I know what not to do and what to do. Amen. Mr. Dobs will know, can you learn to become an alpha male or is it something you were just born with? I don't even know what the fuck that means.

I mean, I think it's something you're born with. I'm saying. You're not an alpha male. It's guarantee. I'm a protector. It's like certain things. Yeah, but you're a protector with that. What's the definition of alpha male?

Alpha male. I can't argue something. I would say this, me. I say I'm alpha males. The second wife said to hear of that question, he was like, no, that's something your boy with Charlotte. He was like, oh, ho, I'm going to take this away from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to know what you mean. Wax, you know, alpha males don't run from mice. You know, that's facts. Alfa males don't run for mice. Alfa males pick mice up and bite the heads off. Blime it. Ham. Ham, Rattatooie.

Huh. Listen, I listen, Mike. I listen to who can handle that, handle that. I get all the big shit. You know what I'm saying? Word is born. That motherfucker right there came alive. Y'all all run.

You would you do? No, I won't. If that shit come alive and you don't run something wrong with you. Something wrong. What if that shit came alive? But instead of speaking, it just like, I'm going to kick him out of his mouth. A little mouse sound.

I'm going to try to holl out. We'll see him want some whews wax. Let me try to blow some sweet weed his face. Well, there was just a rat sitting right next to him, though. What if you get it? Yeah, what if that shit comes off as a rat face? It's inside doing the whole thing. I don't care about the rat phase.

It's about the small shit that I think is going to go up in my fucking pants leg. And I can't take it, yo. I can't take it, yo. What's the definition of alpha male? It says, a dominant, well, they only have her for animals. What is it? A squirrel or something going up the pantsline. Unbelievable.

That's unbelievable. That's what I'm going to say. That's his only, that's his only reason. What's just thought of my next trick. What? I'm just thought of my next trick. I'm going to give me a train rat. I'm going to give me a train mouse.

Nobody got to happen that shit. I'm going to figure out how to make a mouse run up your leg, bro. That shit, I would pay to see wax dance. You ain't never saw wax dance. Imagine a rat running up them goddamn Tims and going up them tight yoga pants. That's what? Man. Oh, that was so funny.

Oh, my goodness Christ. So it says a dominant male animal in a particular group. Dominant male what? Animal. Animal. Yeah, in a particular, when I say alpha male, I just type in alpha male. It's an animal? Definitely alpha male.

Well, they related to animal more. Yeah, I don't know. Alpha males, like I said, alpha males don't run from mice, bro. I don't think that's all about. I'm saying? I mean, technically. And it says, a man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situation.

So a top can be an alpha male. Yeah. If you're a power top in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. All right.

Next question. Do you have to, I mean, if that's the definition, that's not what we're going to get to it next week. But out, okay, wax can be a dominant male.

Power top. Power top. If in a group of animals, unless a mouse is in the room and then you're a beta. That's right. You're a beta to, Nice.

You're a bottom of mice. Yeah. You're a mouse bottom. You're Mickey Mouse and bottom. Yeah, you really are. You're Minnie. We're going to call you Minnie. Mini got way more dominance in the bedroom.

You think so? Yeah, absolutely. Two slang in that thing. Yeah, you're goofy, bro. You know what? Yeah. I just find out I don't know how to have sex. You might be right.

You said what? I just find out I don't know how to smash. Okay. Give us one more. She banks. Where do you see Brant's in five years? I don't know, man. It depends on his AMC stock.

Yeah. Cheryl might not be here next year. No, I mean, I like doing brilliant. It's just therapeutic. You know what I mean? I like coming here and just kicking the shit. You know, I just missed the days and we could just kick the shit without motherfuckers all in our goddamn business. Shit.

Okay. This shit we kick in us for us. Yeah, I wonder if we get to do that one of these days, like in the future. Like, we could find a way. Yeah, let me not put that out there just yet. But it's cool to like, just have some shit that you can just. Maybe we just need to have the live show. Yes.

With no phones. Yes. No nothing. Yes, though. And let's just have a, you know. Let it rip. Let that guy come alive. Oh, boy.

I mean, listen, by the way, people evolve. We all grow. It's nothing like I'm, you know, we're not saying. It's just that it's, the scrutiny is stupid. Like, you get tired of explaining every fucking thing, man. Yeah, yeah. You know what I realize? Like, people evolve in their behavior, but not in their sense of humor.

Like, I'm the same. No, that's real. Because it's juvenile as fuck. I like juvenile. Love it. Dark. You know what I mean? You want to train the rat to go up waxes leg.

That's funny. That's hilarious. Yeah, but I don't want to put doodle on nobody. Maybe I'll put some doodle. You know what? I was thinking about it. I seen that pico? Listen.

You know what's funny? That dude had a pico and I promised it took me right to that guy. I was cold I put the dodo in. Yeah. That pico. I'm like the fuck you're doing the pico. You know how old that p coat is, bro? Yeah.

With fucking socks on? And I got little kids, too. So, like, my oldest is 12. About to be 13, right? And then I got five and two. Are they playing pranks on you all day? All day. All day.

And it's like... Did they do something to your shaving cream or anything yet? My oldest daughter, no, but my oldest daughter is at the age where she just laughs at us. And I'm at the point where I'm about... When she turned 13, I'm like, what the fuck is you laughing at you? What's so funny, huh? What do you just laugh at you? Just be laughing.

Like, everything's a joke. We just jockey to you. But we clowns, huh? Mom and daddy just joking. We're just too joking individuals to you, huh? You just find us funny. Yeah, oh. Yeah, see, everything.

I mean, die. I don't know. Like my obnoxious ass laugh at people. What is so funny? You don't know what's going on. He's talking about you trying to pronounce the young words. I don't even know. Oh, she corrects me.

It's just, I'm tag. It's really a new language. You have no power in your house when you're a man. And you got three daughters and a wife. There's no, you have no power. You got a girl, period. You ain't got no fucking power. You don't have, you don't get no saying nothing.

You just dare. Are y'all all baiting back? You said what? Y'all all baitas in the house? I don't know what. I'm a daddy and a husband. I don't know. It's whatever.

Punching bag. It's okay. Hey, bro. We could be betas in the house. That's fine. Who said bait of the fish? Yep. Yep.

Go fish. And I get pumped from top to bottom. Yeah. beta is short for masturbator. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was something like that.

I get punked from top to bottom. Oldest daughter. Youngest daughter's two telling me what not to say and what not to do, how not to talk to them. I'm like, all right, man. You know, okay, what am I supposed to do here? Go sit on the porch. I get punk to him.

That's what I do. I go sit on the porch. I'm going to get the dog. Yeah. You get a dog? You got to get the dog. You got a dog. That's a lot of work.

It helps. It helps. The wife got the kids. I got the dog. That's a lot. You don't want to. You like dogs? No, I don't like dogs.

I'm afraid. You just want a friend. You need another boy in the house. I'm telling you. Listen, when you get upset, you can curse the dog out and talk to the dog. I don't want to curse the dog out neither. Yes, you will.

I'm telling you, it's going to help you. To pay attention to him and love him. He will. He will. He's going to just shit on your foot or something like. You're like, what the fuck? And then you get to let it out. I'm telling you.

He's shitting on these tongues. That explains. That explains. That explains it. All right, guys. I think we did it. Did we do it? We did it, bro.

All right. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant, you're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple of idiots

who don't know shit, you're right, too. It's the brilliant idiot's podcast. Thank you for listening. Peace.