The Brilliant Idiots - Mermaid Tempura

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

This week on The Brilliant Idiots, Charlamagne tha God and Andrew Schulz discuss Crying mermaids, Katy Perry sex assault allegations, Trump posting himself as Jesus, Tom Hanks is the GOAT? They also break down the Caitlyn Jenner hypocrisy era, and shout out a very zesty volleyball player who's about to go viral. Classic Brilliant Idiots energy, chaotic, hilarious, and lowkey smart. ************************************ Sponsor Brilliant Idiots: ⁠⁠https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/brilliant-idiots⁠⁠ Jess Hilarious - Til Death Do We Parent - ⁠Pre Order⁠ 2Chainz - The Voice in my head is God - ⁠⁠Pre Order⁠⁠ The Black Family Who Built America - Cheryl McKissack Daniel -⁠⁠Order Link⁠⁠ Uncommon Favor - Dawn Staley - ⁠⁠Order Link⁠⁠ Get Honest or Die Lying Why Small Talk Sucks- By Charlamagne Tha God - ⁠⁠Order Link⁠⁠ Check out Andrew Schulz - ⁠⁠www.theandrewschulz.com⁠⁠ Check out all the podcast on Charlamagne's "Black Effect Network" - ⁠⁠https://blackeffect.com⁠⁠ Checks out AlexxMedia ⁠AM Mornings⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yep, Charlameda God. Andrew Shoe. We are the brilliant idiots podcast back for another week of brilliant idiotness. Hemekiah Walker. What's up, my man? How was your weekend? My weekend was good. Where'd you go?

Were you doing shows this weekend? What the fuck did I do this weekend? Yep, you getting old, buddy. I am. What you did this weekend? Where was I? Oh, I just did this Garden of Laughs charity show at Radio City, man. And that was really cool.

Was it yesterday? Okay. yesterday or two days ago. It could have been yesterday. Two days ago, two days ago. Yeah, the weekend. I'm hungover, man. You was drinking?

I drank yesterday. I guess I went on date night with my wife. Whoa, bro. You can't be doing that shit. You can't be having alcohol, bro. It is crazy. And I'm just paying for it right now. Just brutal.

What did you drink? I don't think I drank a lot. I had a Vesper martini and then I had a glass of red wine. We started at the pot. Fuck, we were drinking during a pot. And we had a lot of tequila in. You all

drink. I hadn't drink all year long. Last time I had to drink was New Year's Eve. And the first time I had to drink since New Year's Eve was last week

at the final four and it was tequila. And I'm like, no, I can't fuck this. Knocked you out, right? And I woke up the next day and it just, it takes me too long to recover

at this age. When you're old bro, it's the whole day. My whole day is fucked. I know that for a fact. And I hit the sauna. That's right. I hit the steam room.

I was trying to sweat it out. It's not going nowhere. I did that. that the next day. I went to the son. I went, got a facial. And when you get to a certain age, you got to choose between erections, like recovering from hangovers. I choose between dessert and erections. Damn! If I have dessert, we're going to sleep when we get home. Too much dessert causes me not to have an erection. I think it's the sugar. What? Don't worry. Oh, y'all will get there. You y'all are getting there. You know who

just young and horny. That's right. I can't wait. I try not wait. That's right. You get to a certain age when you're going to have to choose erections over everything, baby okay there's certain things that you get to a certain age you know gonna impact that erection the hangover the motherfucking sugar you gotta choose what you what you want bro sleep sleep i just had a point right now like if i don't get to sleep by 9 30 p.m i'm exhausted because i'm getting up at six every morning with the kids i get a warning at 820 to get your ass in bed no yeah 720 my phone says i have my phone set to go to bed at 820 so my phone warned me at 720 so my phone warned me at 720 because I know I need to start winding down around that time.

And by like 915, 9.30, I got to be in the bed. And that's not how I'm wired. I'm wired to go to bed around like one. No way. No, like in my brain, like that's when I do my thinking. That's when I have a little time to myself. I get a little doom scroll. I like that midnight to 1 a.m. period.

But I'm fucked. No, you got to take, you got to shut your screen time down at least an hour and a half before bed. Because at night is when they get the emotional videos on Instagram Reels. Damn. I got a nice scroll last night. I was crying. What you was crying about? Oh, they just hit you with one thoughtful one after another and like this dad does this

for his daughter and this. Oh, it's beautiful and the music is all baked in. And you could kind of train the algorithm to what you want. So when they try to throw on some bullshit that's not that, you swipe right by it. And I was on a tear. I mean, it was like 30 minutes just. Oh, I got one to send you. Send me.

Man, these fucking fishermen, right? Because you know we live in this era now where since there's AI, they show us all these real videos and try to make us believe it's AI. Man, these fucking fishermen had this little, like... That mermaid, you turn out? Yeah, man. That mermaid had to be about eight or nine.

It was a little kid. You could tell them this kid mermaid. And that little kid mermaid was just crying. I mean, I'm just like, throw the motherfucker back in the ocean. The fuck do y'all going to do with this thing. Now, that's sushi right there, man. No.

Turn that little mermaid. Nice. Let me see if I got it, man. Get that up because I'm hungry just thinking about it. They lucky Japanese people. People didn't find that little bitch. Damn. Oh, it's already gone.

I'll just say, if some Japanese people found her, you know she's going to be on rice by the afternoon. That's a guarantee. I put it in my story. It's gone already. You think that Japanese people wouldn't discriminate against the mur people? I couldn't eat no mermaid, man.

You couldn't? Chinese people got to draw the line somewhere. Japanese. Well, either way, whatever needs. Chinese people eat anything. That's not right, man. You got to draw the line. Who eats the most shit?

it's not even like shit that you couldn't even imagine they eat jellyfish like that's not that's just that might be fire a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich now that's he's something that got something that got something already in the name

like jellyfish like why wouldn't I try that? If you offer me a jellyfish I'm like I put some peanut butter with some white bread with that motherfucker let's see what's hitting yeah let's see what's happening yeah okay God bless you Joe this little mermaid was crying so he could go like your archives in time

That's how they get you, but they cry. They cry, they cry. Yo, you gotta be an ill motherfucker to eat a mermaid, Joe. Why? Why? Why you have to be ill to eat that? Because it's a child. You're not gonna eat the human part.

You're just gonna go right for the tail. I never thought about that. You could just make it an amputee, put it in a wheelchair, and then you just take the tail. It's like when they take the tusks off the rhinoceros. Fried mermaid tail might be fired. Why you gotta fry it? And you wouldn't even think of it.

about and you wouldn't even think about where it came from he's like your fried mermaid so you wouldn't care if it was a child

a woman Downs because I know they got some mermaids with Down syndrome You know what they do You know what I'm saying

They do And I'm not gonna sing the song What's the song I'm not gonna sing it? What's the song? I'm not gonna sing it Do you have to It's an educational

part of the life? No I know it's educational We gotta spread awareness for the mermaids with Downson What's the What's this song? No, I'm not going to do it. What's the song?

Send me a video, Taylor. I'm not going to do it. Hold on. Let me see. Crying. Let me Google Crying Mermaid Child. I don't even want to see it, man. This shit hurt my heart.

You put it up on your story. Go back to the story. I don't know how to do all of this shit, man? You know how long it took me just to merge a call yesterday? Oh, don't even get me started. You know what I'm saying? I'm not here for this technology shit. I was like, why the fuck y'all ain't just sitting to Zoom?

link or the fucking conference call shit. Y'all want me to do what? I merged you. I FaceTime my homeboy. He wondering why I'm facetime. And I'm like, hold on, I'm trying to FaceTime. No. I'm trying to just merge me.

Hold on. That just took me five minutes just to fucking merge a call. I felt it like five years ago. Technology was passing me by. Why don't you stand over there? Why don't you stand right over there? I want everybody to see her snap back. That's all that was.

But you all said it. That's all that was. She won't sleep. Y'all said it. That's the hall. She walked right in front of my camera, too. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Uh-huh.

Nothing. I didn't eat no fucking sugar. I see you. I see you back to wearing stripes. You see you back to wearing stripes. You got to get it back if you're wearing stripes now. Uh-huh. Okay.

With all the respects. With all the respect. Taylor's a shame. We was talking. What type of mermaid would Taylor be? Excuse me? Not a little one. What type of mermaid would you be?

What you said? I'll be a thick one. Not a little one. A little about that mermaid. He's right. This guy right here. That's a fucking mother. He's just mad because I'm thinking that you're not.

Cut it out. Cut it out. There's only one stallion in here right now. You can be a little pony. That's you. Now, you are, you're my little pony, you got that for sure. You got that for sure. Is Taylor was shaming me.

And she said, I eat fat And I'm like I almost died Oh you didn't bro Cut it out Everybody always when they almost die nowadays These is almost die a don't Like why I hate when people do that

Almost die What the fuck you did it? Yo, why can't we almost die? Because man We know what almost death looks like All right? Yeah, I know I saw that I saw someone trying to catch a drop

Or whatever You see what I'm saying? But I didn't run in the building But I almost died You could That's dramatic as fuck We would respect You expected you if you did.

No, that's too dramatic. I know, you're not a drama queen. Oh. All said didn't even say he almost died. He got shot. Where do you get shot? He said in the leg. Everybody was saying the ass, but he got shot in the leg.

Getting shot in the asses, that shit is super gay. Yeah, no. Imagine someone pulls out a pistol. You just poke your ass out. You know what I'm saying? Oh! He shot me in the ass. No, I think it's gay to shoot her.

Why you ain't for my ass, bro? Because they want more holes in it. No. One hole in enough. I need to poke that thing. I'm going to make my own hole. If you make your own hole and some cheeks, what you're digging in the day?

That's just, that's just, how does a mermaid's shit? We never even figured that out. A fish's shit. I know how fish is shit. I have a fish of shit, mermaid's shit the same way. So you're saying a mermaid got a little booty hole? Because the mermaids are easily. And clearly a vagina, too, if they're breeding.

You got to believe in a mermaid, right? No, no. Get the fuck out of it. How do you all? believe in mermaids. Maybe they existed once in the Chinese ate them. Listen. What do the Chinese not eat, Chris?

Can you tell me one thing that the Chinese go, we draw the line right? Bussy. That's why they like being in Jamaica. That's why they like buying up all the property in Jamaica right now. I'm here finally in the land that we don't have to eat buses. Okay. That's what it is, Chris. Yeah, do you think the Jamaicans are coming around?

Is there like a progressive Jamaican movement where they eat? eat boxing? No, Jamaican women been telling you that them guys been lying. I don't even know what the flex is about that. We don't eat boom, boom. Okay, okay, and more for us? Yeah.

Like, why is that a flex to y'all? It's not really, man. It's never been real. You share a blunt but wouldn't eat pussy. What? You share a joint but wouldn't eat pussy? Yeah, that's a good ass. You understand what I'm saying?

Like, what is your, I don't know, by the way, I don't know what Jamaican's reasonings historically have been. I'm sure I've asked a couple in my lifetime, but I don't remember. That is, that is crazy. Did you find a little crying mermaid? I thought I did, but it wasn't that.

You got to see this shit. The eyes on this thing, man. It was like bamble. Should I get it up or what? I don't know if you're going to be able to find it, but the problem was it was a bunch of fishermen. One of them was holding the mermaid up like this, like holding them up.

The mermaid is terrified. Crying for his life. Can't believe how you even ended up in this situation. You just swimming minding your business in the ocean. These motherfuckers got a net out or whatever, and they catch you. And they're just holding this shit up. And all of them are like,

yeah, look at this. Throw this shit back in the world. water. Yeah. Yeah, because mom's going to come and then it's going to be a problem. I mean, what she's going to do about it? Yeah, once you get, well, you never know. We don't know what kind of powers they got. What she's going to do about it. I just want to know how he got away from his tribe.

I can't believe you. I don't believe in mermaid. No, I'm not against mermaids. What I don't believe, what I'm surprised by is that whales aren't violent. They are. Not whales. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Killer whales are very. Those are the only ones. And they don't harm. They only, they do that for food. And they, I don't even think killer whales eat humans.

I don't think they do it only inside SeaWorld. I think outside of that, they never attack humans, dead ass. I don't think killer will attack nobody. So what I'm saying is there's this species of, there's a species of mammal. The whales, they are constantly being attacked and hunted by human beings. And yet they are not violent. They're completely passive. They never hurt the human beings.

They could probably knock over every single boat that exists. Oh, no. Come on, man. How sad that looks Like how pitiful that mermaid looks, yo No, man Chris, don't have to fuck You roll in your eyes

Chris that is clearly real Everything ain't AI guys Nah, put that back Man, that's not nice Oh No That is kind of sad You can't do aquafina like that man

Put that back in the fucking water Put aquaina back man Don't shit Nah, bro Now I'm not gonna lie That'll probably get eaten Because if you look at the body, right? It's all fish almost.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you get rid of the head. I thought it was going to be more human, to be honest. That's what I'm saying. It's mostly fish. You get rid of the head and the arms. You're like, there's really nothing to do with that but eat it. Yeah, you eating that one.

Put that little baby back, man. Oh, that piss me off so bad. Why do humans always got to fuck with everything, man? Lead that shit alone. Put that thing back in the water. They have multiple. I'm looking there, multiple videos. different.

No, we don't need it. Like, it's the same person but holding a different mermaid. Because they're trying to throw you off. Let me tell you something about AI. This is my theory about AI. AI has been around forever. Yeah.

There's probably so many things we saw that we thought were real but was actually AI the whole time. Like? I don't, and just name something. I mean, it's regular things that we saw that we were just looking at like, oh shit, that was wild.

It was probably AI this whole thing. time. If they gave us the technology now, they've been sitting on this shit, bro. We saw the, they saw the shit that they got the shit that can detect your heartbeat. They can identify you by your heartbeat, bro. That shit is great. What the, what are we talking about? That shit is great. You think they just came up with this shit? No, it's like duct tape. Like, duct tape NASA had way before they gave it to us. I'm not even trying to catch you. If you look at the old, you look at the old spaceships, it was basically duct tape. And then they probably got a better tape and now we get the duct tape.

Y'all still believe in that spaceship? Say again? Y'all still believe in that space shit. Man, get me out of here. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. I'm just telling you. This is just to throw us off. No, no, no, no, no.

Get me out of here. I don't like that. I don't even like looking at it. Remember Tom Hanks? Fuck that mermaid? Remember Splash? Y'all don't remember Splash with Darrow Hand. No, I do remember the movie.

I never watched it. That was crazy to me. Yeah. Because I'm like, yo, Darrow Handel was like, you know, good looking for her time, right? Like, that was the 80s. You know what I mean? I guess that was a good-looking white woman.

You could just say she's good-looking. Why don't you just stamp that? Because over time I've seen better. So over time you've seen better of that version. Yeah, I guess people do get more attractive. You know what I'm saying? Teeth from the 70s were wild as crazy what we put up with. Have you seen teeth from the 70s?

Like, even like major actors. Like you see them on a billboard with their regular teeth. It's insanity, right? They didn't care about teeth. Back in the day, they didn't care. care about it. No, but they didn't have veneer this shit yet back then. I know. They didn't have veneer this shit back then. But remember when he used to

I would always think about, yo, how trash were the women on land that he fell for a fucking mermaid, yo? I get that. I get that a little bit. That's exactly. Because I don't think mermaids have periods because the sharks would eat them. So now you found a woman that doesn't menstruate so you basically get

25% of your month back. And clearly no gag reflex. None. They can suck you off for hours. Hours. They don't even got to breathe. They got gills. So you really, he really, he really, he really maximized if you're thinking about it. He really maximized. But do you have to get head underwater though?

No, no, you can bring them up. Because they can't, oh, no, she's going to breathe on land. As long as their gills are underwater. That's fire. It's on the edge of the pool. You put her in the bath, you sit on the toilet. Y'all ain't never watch splash? What?

You put it on a bath, you sit on the toilet, you get that suck. Y'all never watch splash? I never watched Splash You got to watch Splash Tom Hanks Daryl Hannah man Go watch the goat though Yes I told you all this already Nah but like we never bring him up in terms of every

Who? But I go like oh Denzel is my goat Or like oh Leo's the goat He's never kind of brought up in that The question I've been saying Tom Hanks The greatest actor of all time Might be man

You really think so Tom You might be Hanks Compared to Leonardo DiCaprio Washes Leo Come on man How many

cartoons Leo got. How many cartoons Leo got? How many cartoons Leo got? Tom Hanks got Toy Story that really shists on everything else. Pull up Tom Hanks. Yeah, run to Tom Hanks catalog. You've done this before. I've known.

With Tom Hanks, it's not even close, yo. This is Tom fucking Hanks. Is it because we haven't seen him give like an emotional performance since? Since what? There's not too many Tom Hanks movies you're going to watch and don't cry. No, no. I'm talking to. about like what he did with Forrest Gump or what he's...

Cry, tears. I know. Castaway, tears. Castaway, castaway, was... A man from Otto, tears. Yo, that movie? See? I told you.

That movie right there? That movie right there. Did you cry? What do you mean? Did I? Did you? What do you mean? This motherfucker falls out on his bed, face down, ass up.

And you cry, bro. You cry. Nah, the scene that got me was when. And then the younger version of him took the girl that he was interested on a date. And then she ordered an entree and he didn't order anything. Oh, because he couldn't afford it. And then she's like, why aren't you having anything? He's like, I ate already.

And then she's like, she says something. She pushes back again. She's like, but wait, but why don't she just order something? She's like, he's like, well, I wanted to make sure that you could get whatever you wanted. That's cool. Come on, man. Tom Haynes got a new movie out now that I ain't watched yet. It's on Apple.

Which one? I can't remember the name of it, but I saw it. That's it right there, Taylor. What is that you pulled up? No, they mean to push with. Nah, just pull up Tom Hanks movies. Tom Hanks movies, yo. Just pull up Tom Hanks.

But why he went to Rodden Tomatoes? Why y'all think Leo got anything on Tom Hanks, bro? He's a great actor. No, Leo's nice. He's fucking nice, but he just might not have it on Tom. Everybody got a daddy, bro. And Tom is dad, huh? Tom's motherfucker's daddy.

I don't even know where to say. start with time. I can start with motherfucking Philadelphia. Before that, it was sleepless in Seattle. Yo, he got classics like Turner and Hooch. Wow.

Big fire. I said that already. The man with one red suit, splash. Phenomenal. Devonci Code. Divinci Code. Forest Gump.

Forrest Gump. Inferno. Big. Come on, man. What is it? What was that shit called? What was it? for the King movie called.

He played Mr. Rogers. Yeah. Was he Apollo 13? He was in Apollo 13, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Come on, man. Man with the red with one red shoe. Man with the one with the red shoe.

I don't know what that's what I just. Sully? I didn't fuck with Sully. You didn't fuck with Sully? You didn't fuck with Sully. Saving private, Ryan. Saving prior. Godly.

Godly. Godly. Tom Hanks, man. The Green Mile. Oh, wow. Stop playing with Tom fucking Hanks, bro. It's nobody better. And it's one thing to be a great actor.

It's another to be in so many great films. I mean, to shoot at this percentage. That's what I'm saying. There's a lot of great actors. Like, Denzel is a great actor. But every film Denzel has been in isn't great. Denzel hits at a high percentage. Leo hits at a high percentage.

They do. Like, the real greats barely fly. I want to see him experiment more. Say what? I want to see him experiment more. I feel like he plays the same person. Yo, but when he does experiment, he wins the Oscar. Yes.

No, for sure. I'm agreeing with you. I'm like, every time he steps out of, like, the prototypical Denzel role, he's celebrated for it. There's been two roles that Denzel has played to me that I didn't see Denzel. Malcolm X and Training Day. Training Day. Everything else is a lot of Denzel.

John Q. John Q. Man, John Q will make you cry, bro. Every single. When he pulls that fucking trigger and it doesn't go off. The reason I put John Q. John Q&A is because I don't feel like Denzel would ever be in a situation where he's desperate like that.

What's the file? You're going to do what the fuck I told you to do. You're going to give my son this hard story. The worst movie Denzel's been in for me right now is the higher learning or something with ASAT. That shit was good. That was- That was- Everybody said that.

I didn't agree with that. I watched it. So, wait, you need to make me understand the ending. Because what was that where they split the screen and you see Denzel like listening to his song, but was that like the imaginary or I'm mad confusing I like that movie. Everybody said that shit was whack. I thought it was dope.

No, what was the movie that... What was so bad about it? First of all, Deso's playing like this wannabe like... Man on fire. That was good. Hip-hop old person. That movie was... Man on fire was dope.

Man on fire? He wasn't a hip-hop old person. He was a mogul. He was a... Yeah, and he was just... It was terrible. He was... The new movie with the shit with Aesap Rockies. He's a music mogul.

Aesap grew up idolizing him, basically. Aesap wanted to be signed to him. But Aesap ends up kidnapping his child and holding him for ranching them. Oh, interesting. Like, that's... I didn't see what was wrong with the movie. I enjoyed it.

That's the summary. Everybody, the acting and everything was trash. Not from Denzel. Not even from Aesap. Everybody told me that movie was trash. I watched it. And I was like, this shit was not nowhere in there as bad. So what did you see?

Yeah, but the bar was low because everybody said it was ass. I thought it was cool. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the movie. The true test. The biting on the train. That shit was not even believable. The true test to a movie being fantastic is when everybody tells you it's fantastic.

And your cynical ass goes in wanting to prove them all wrong. And you still love it. Because once you tell me a movie's amazing, I'm going in there like, these motherfuckers don't know shit about cinema. And then if it blows me away, I'm like, all right, you got it. This is incredible. Hey, man. I enjoyed the digital and ace that movie.

I don't know what you. Even your tone right now is like, you're different for enjoying it. Yes, I didn't, I'm like, I really trying to figure out what was so bad about it. I've seen some bad movies. Please, please watch it. I'm going to watch. It's not worth it. I'm going to do it.

Because I can't get those hours back. Why not? Why was so bad about it? It was the director. Who directed? It was Spike Lee. It didn't look premiered. Like it looked like...

That too. The background was trash. What was the name of it? Higher. Higher. Highest. Oh, highest the lowest. Yeah.

All of you. The background of it was trash. You can tell. I'm a background. Yeah. It's like a scenery. Spike needs a banger, bro. Spike is nasty, but he needs another banger.

I enjoyed it. It wasn't that one. No, I know. What I'm saying it's like... I'm not saying it was a banger. But I enjoyed it. It was a good watch. What are you rating it?

What's the last Spike Banger? One out of ten? Yes. Hold on. We're having two different. Strong six, maybe? All right, six is fine. I'm giving it a four.

What's the last Spike Banger? The one when they robbed. Inside Man. Inside Man was one of the best movies I ever see. It's classic Spike Lee. Like the New York characters bleed through the screen. You know 50 was going to name Diddy's Doc that shit? You don't hear that?

You're going to name it inside, man. You didn't know that? Y'all didn't know that. That's crazy y'all didn't know that. What was so good about it? You're crazy. You never saw it with Clive Owen? Oh, it's really good.

First of all, the script is genius. Like, genius. The twist is fantastic. and then it's just classic Spike. Like every scene is just amazingly shot and like perfect tension. And like Spike does this thing with New York characters specifically where like the cop will be the most New York guy. The guy at the halal stand will like you'll feel like they're not an actor.

Like they actually work the halal stand and he hired him. So anyway, that's his zone for me. But I want to see something like that from Spike. How many bangers do you need though? And what I mean by that is as a director as an actor. Yeah, either. We say Spike needs. a banga, but it's like...

Director, you need one. You only as hot as your last shit, right? Yeah, but director, you need one, and then if your last shit flops, they'll give you one more shot. If that shit flops, you're pretty much out the game. But if you have, like, three or four hit, you could miss for a few, and you still get opportunities.

Would you rather have one universally, you know, known classic, or would you rather have a Tom Hanks catalog? Because that can work against you sometime. Your catalog can be so great that people forget how to We expect it. You know what I'm saying? We expect it to be good. Straight up.

Straight up. Would you rather have that one? I think about somebody like Lauren Hill, right? Miseducation of Lauren Hill. One phenomenal classic album. Yeah. But then you think about like somebody like a Mary J. Blige who has an extensive catalog, you kind of take up for granted.

Yeah, I guess it depends. Like they put Mary on, they put Lauren on the pedal store I think Mary should be on. Did you, did you, well, it depends what you want. It's like, is your goal in life to perfect a thing or is your goal in life to continue creating? Because if your goal in life creatively is to perfect a thing and then you do that, then you did it. You accomplish your goal. Like everything after that is gravy. If your goal in life is to continuously create, then Tom's career, without a doubt,

it's like, come on. But like, Lauren put out an undeniable classic. Undeniable body work. Most human beings that create things, not just music, will never be able to replicate. But she didn't really see anything. else. That's what makes you different. That's, but I can't even then compare that to her other shit. Yeah. There is no other shit. Yeah, I know. She literally never.

Yeah. Oh, so that's a good point. So is that? It didn't unplug with MTV a couple of yeah. She literally, there's no precedent of someone releasing an album, which was that successful commercially and critically, and then just never doing anything. Andre 3,000? No. No, he's put out a solo up. What? You never put out a solo album? I mean, but the dual album was kind of a song. But no, Andre had a bunch of body. or you had a bunch of them. It's like, well, you can say Lauren has that with the food. Yeah, sort of kind of, yeah.

I don't know. I like that's not a bad comparison. I like what you're saying, though, because maybe that's why we take people for granted, right? Because you start comparing, they're competing with themselves at that point. Yeah. So you start comparing them to things that they're doing. And if they try something, like let's say Tom Hanks comes out with a new movie,

our Bray J. Blige. Our Denzel came out with this movie that y'all don't think is that good. So now you start discrediting all these other stuff just because you, Your last impression was this. It's McDonald's, bro. It's like, it's McDonald's or it's chikfilet or it's whatever. It's like... If you have a Big Mac, right?

Imagine you never had one in your life and you have a Big Mac. That Big Mac will be better than like 99% of the burgers you will have at restaurants around the world. It really will. Like, you can have a burger at a restaurant. So I got his bun is mad dry or like, I don't like the fucking saw. This is plain or it's whatever. It's restaurant, not fast food. So you put in a different.

category, but in terms of, like, you eating it and you actually being satisfied by the experience, you're like, uh, the Big Mac is, does the job. But because no matter where you go on the planet, you can get that same tasting Big Mac, we don't even put in the category of food. It's because, well, it's like, you get to a, McDonald's, sorry to cut you McDonald's fries. McDonald's fries are better. Yes. Then 99% of fries you're going to get in any restaurant. Yeah, but also not fries. Sure, like, you know, a mermaid ain't, you know. What do you mean they're not fried?

It's cardboard and perfume, basically. They don't use real potatoes? Of course they do. This motherfucker. Fast food nation breaks it down. Back in my day, they used to use real potatoes. And what was that shit cooking with? And Malcolm Gladwell had a great podcast on revisionist history.

What was that shit, Chris? How about I just eat it until my toes fall? How about I just that? They used to cook them in trans fat? I was what Americans do. What was this trans? It wasn't, you know, trans fat? Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? He's going to transition my feet into off my body. That's what it's going to do. It's trans fat. It's really oil, but it identifies as like something else. Delicious. But think about it. We'll never eat McDonald's the same ever again.

Wait, what you mean by that? Just think about being a child and begging your parents for McDonald's. And they'd be like, we got McDonald's at the house. But then, you know, you might end up going to get something from McDonald's. And that shit usually just tastes different in the 80s. Taste different in the 90s, bro. Tell me, tell me, if you're going to get something from McDonald's, but then you should, tell me, if If we're being honest here, you go to a fucking restaurant, a nice restaurant.

Yeah. And you have French fries there. Are they more satisfying than McDonald's fries? Nah. Our Chick-fil-A fry. But we don't even put McDonald's fries, like, in the conversation of best friends fries. They're not posted. They tell us we're not posed to, yeah.

But this is to your point about when you have a body of work that's so consistent, we take it for granted. Yeah. You're right. Like, I would even go, like, yo, McDonald's might be underrated. Like even the Sunday of McDonald's, like, the McFlurries? Right. You don't need another. Tell me if you go have ice cream somewhere else.

Nah, better than the McClurie? The McFlurie is fired, Oreo McFlurie. But, yo, the regular vanilla Sunday with the chocolate fudge and the nuts on it. Tell me when you go get the fancy ice cream for fucking $10 waiting online in the street of New York, you think it's better than that. Yo, okay, here we go. Apple pie. Yeah, man. The apple pie for McDonald's.

Yeah, man. My mother's apple's probably way much spreader. Your mom is built different, and she's not doing it around the world in every single person. Exactly the same. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Last time I had McDonald's, I was leaving a little Duval comedy show. This was years ago.

When we were in D.C. No, this was, he was in New Brunswick at Vince Fet factory. And, man, for some reason, I think I took a puff of Duval's weed. And I got the munchies and something said, I want to. fucking McDonald's. And I went to McDonald's and got the two double cheeseburger meal. I never went big back a hot cheese burger every single time.

Two apple pies. Barbecue sauce went perfect. What about the chicken nuggets though? I never fuck with the nuggets. I never fuck with nuggets. Wendy's has better chicken nuggets though. I would agree. Wendy's got great french fries on the low two. They used to when they changed it to the red the red, um, was the red French

French. Them shit, still flat. No. And they had the yellow brand, the French fry holder. He looked at a live when they had the yellow brand. You're the fuck I was. You only 34. How would I know about it?

Instagram. You only 34. No. I remember the- You were alive with a yellow pack? Yes. How old are you think I am? I'm saying all that to say, I'm saying all that to say, shout out to Crystal, man.

Crystal is where you really want to go get you fast. Yo, shout out Crystal. They got one in Orangeburg, South Carolina. That's phenomenal. One in Walterboro, South Carolina. That's phenomenal. You're phenomenal. You know, we got it really

in Jamaica. That's... KFC fired too. In Jamaica. I never went to the one in, um... Iceland. Nah, fucking... It's still gonna taste it.

Grenada. It's still going to taste it because however they make it. Go to KFC in like a country where they care about their people. Right. And there's rules and what goes in the food. Oh my God. My FC and Iceland is crazy.

No, but you know what's crazy? I went to one in Barcelona. They have the American chicken or chicken. And so, American KFC chicken, it's way saltier than what they did. Yeah. You can choose American fried or just regular. Where?

And this is you prefer. There's, because ours is crazy salty. Where was it at? In Barcelona. Really? Yeah. That's a thing that would give you that choice. Yeah.

You ever had a turkey fried cock? Yeah. Yeah. You ever had that? Yeah. Not yet. Yeah. How was it?

Yeah. I'm just asking. I never had that. I never tried it. Yeah. Yeah. I see you licking your lips. Oh, I love me some KFC.

I love me some KFC. I love it to me. They call me the colonel. If you pull a muscle, all of a sudden, you realize how often you use that muscle. So the bladder is exactly like that. When it's working well, we don't think about it. But when it's not working properly, you're getting up at night. Or in the cases of many men, you may have some leakage.

If this is something that's affecting your quality, quality of life. There are really good solutions these days. Depend makes the guard and the shield. The shield would be if you have some leakage on occasion, if you have heavier leakage, you could use the guard. What else we got, Taylor? Let's get into some all memes matter, Taylor. What is happening this week? Nah, that volleyball, the Zesty volleyball player, you got to sign that guy to every NIL deal. I haven't seen it. This is what we've been waiting for. We need a zesty athlete that dominates. What is the volleyball got zesty?

Watch. Watch. I saw this guy. Look at this man. Look. No, no, no. You got to see him slam it. He eats that KFC.

And then he goes, ooh. Oh, yeah. He eats that KFC for sure. For sure. He likes his cock Kentucky fried. Yeah. Bye. Okay.

Bye. Okay. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. That man is not by. That man is straight. Nah. Jeez. That's pure gay.

But this is what you need. This is what we need. Because sports, you know, why do y'all think he's gay? Man, stop. I mean, I was going along with the joke, but what makes him gay? You believe in Murgates, but not that this guy's gay? What do you mean? He just seemed passionate to me.

Shut up. You know, he's a passion fruit. That's so annoying. I love the little head turn afterwards. Nah, this is fire, bro. He's passionate, man. What's his name? Number two.

Did they win, at least? That's fire that his name is number two. You know what I mean? Is it like that? Is it numbered like value meals? I don't know. One would be a blow job. I just feel like two, he's a top for sure.

He might be top, though. There he might be toptoe. Shout out to homie, man. They even got his next games listed. Oh, his name is Jordan. Jordan K. Lucas. Jordan K. Do your thing, Jordan.

Get your fucking money, Jordan. You deserve it. You're about to be an internet sensation. I'm going to be honest with you. They made him in the lab. Of course. Yeah, like when I see stuff like this, I'm like, all right. He ain't this ain't come out of nowhere.

This all of a sudden, oh, he's killing it. Now, go to the one with him with the Chinese fan. That's fire, right there? Oh, he played basketball too, or that's the volleyball team? That's volleyball. You think he's Hawaiian? I think he might be Hawaiian. Okay, George. Andy got the pink jays on?

Yeah, he leaning in. Yo, yo. I was born this way, bro. You can't even, like, you can't script that. You know what I'm saying? You can't. Shout out to Poo Sashi. That's Poo Sashi. Poo Sashi right there.

Okay. That's Poo Sassy. Working, Jordan. Shout out to Jordan. I think he's a Hawaiian, man. Hawaii's got a long legacy of phenomenal gay volleyball players. Get the fuck out of here, really? The gays are the best of volleyball out there.

What you mean? How do you figure that? It's just the truth. That's what they got like a wrist thing. I'm telling you, man. They got it. Ask them, bro. They got a whole...

What you mean? They got a wrist thing. No, they have a lease. They got like a Mahu volleyball league. Really? Yeah. Oh, what shout out to do? That's dope.

I mean, listen, if certain areas can breed, you know, basketball players, football players, why not have a place that can breed volleyball players, man? I agree with... You know what I agree with you? I ain't mad at it. What else we got, Taylor? Caitlin Jenner, a hypocrite. What Caitlin do?

No, not Caitlin. What did Caitlin do, man? Not Caitlin. What did Caitlin do? He's... Let me see. Caitlin's on with Tommy Lauren. Let me read...

Hold me read. It's a volume. Caitlin, Caitlin can't get no motion, yo. She really can't. Caitlin can't get no motion. You know how lame you got to be and you can't get no motion as a Jenner?

Or a trans? You know what I'm saying? You're a transgenre? It can't get no fucking motion. How are you a transgender and can't get no motion? He say anything to try to get hot, do anything to try to get hot and can't get hot, yo? Nothing. Right.

What's this transgender talking about? So basically he's, um, Jenner said that. Let me read it, Taylor, because you just want to confuse me. What did they say? Caitlin Jenner calls self a hypocrite for accepting women of glamorous women of the year. Women of the Year. Well, we knew this already. What did you, fucking tell him this?

You already know, press play. We knew, we knew that. Here I am fighting the battle to keep biological men out of women's sports. Mm-hmm. Okay? Because it's not right. It just is not right, okay? And I want to protect women.

Here I am fighting this battle, even biological men out of women's sports. But back when I came out, what did I accept? Glamors Women of the Year Award. and I go What a hypocrite I'm still ex-wife What a hypocrite I am

You know Trying to keep biological men at a women's sports But I'm a biological man And they gave me glamorous woman Of the year award That's not no wild Fuck out of here She's trans-phobic

She's been that She's been that She's been that I want to know I want to know Who's hitting it She's the one that's hitting it

Yeah, she still got a dick. She likes girls? That's why I never understood when she first came out. People got mad at me because I said, oh, she's a lesbian. Well, yes, she is a lesbian. Uh-oh, I would think if you're a woman. If you're a woman, if we're recognizing her as a woman, you're a lesbian. Exactly.

So I never understood why people got mad when I said that shit. Here's the problem. When you got a lot of estrogen in your system, your dick doesn't get hard easy. Does she got estrogen? She must if she's taking the hormones to be feminized. She's still getting morning wood in the morning, man. You don't think so? I think the balls have shriveled to be totally.

honestly honest. If she is taking the whole... Oh, damn. Cut the top of all. Show's over to getting bricked up. That motherfucker is excited. My bad. But yeah. I want to know who's hitting it or who she's hitting, man.

Who she dated? How is that not... Is this the only gender that we don't know about their sex life? No, she don't care. She comes out with that. I care. Yo, the men in that family, bro. Bro.

Like, don't nobody give a fuck about a rock. Like, if you did devotion chart, like from hot to coldness, all the guys are at the bottom. All the guys are like low-key. They went through it, man. There might be like a curse. We had that.

You know, somebody said that to me the other day, but that's not as true as people say it is. Talk to me. Chris Humphreys owns mad fast food franchise. Like, Chris Humphreys is, like, caked up somewhere. To me, he's not a gender, no. So you mean, like, the biological one? I'm talking about, like, if you got the rod.

Okay, okay. Because I think the curse runs through the blood. Well, you know, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, it's a blood curse. There's a conspiracy theory that all of the women use Rob. So they got Rob fat and then they started using his fat for like their injections and shit like that. Do you know who started that conspiracy theory? Who? A guy named Andrew Shultz on a brilliant idiotist podcast about a decade ago.

Holy shit. It was you. Holy shit. That's how long we've been podcasting, man. No, they made it. Oh, we've been podcast. Yo, it might have been you, actually. No, I don't remember.

I don't fucking remember. It was one of us, though. It was... I do remember. You've sat here, but I think it was you, Joe. It might have been you. You think we made Rob going to hiding? Because we ain't seen them since, yo.

Well, they still need it. I think once they stop the injections... They didn't not do it no more, I thought. Well, what do you mean? What they're not doing? I thought they stopped. They're, like, reducing it, everything. Reducing what?

They're injects. Like, Kim, got rid of hers. Yeah, but they got them in cold storage just in case. It could trend the other way. That ass can come back in and they're going to need that. I don't think she lost her ass. Why did you pull up Sophia Hutchins? They were together.

You say who was she dating? Oh, wow. Get the fuck out of here, yo. You know who that is, Sophia Hutchins? Who is it? American Socialite. What a title. She dates Caitlin Jenner.

That says Caitlin Jenner's friend and man. She's dead. No. Oh, man. RIP, see? Oh, my God. Taylor, she died. Hold on.

Am I saying this? Hold on me. That head looks as Sophia Hutchins, Caitlin, Genes, and his friend and manager, dead. That's not her. Click on it. Taylor, what's going on? I know. What are you doing?

That's what they showed me in the thing. Yes, Sophia Hutchins. Katelyn Jr., your friend and manager dead at 29. Oh, no. What is wrong with you, Taylor? Well, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. God rest of dead, man.

God rest of death. Wait, wait. My God. Wait. They live together. Genente's obituary. They live together. They lived together, they shared a dog, and were called often a cusp.

That's obituary. That'd be funny to do. That'd be funny to do. Put the obituary out like when you transition. I think you should have to. That's heavy funny. Because they say don't call me about my dead name, I think it is. It's called dead naming, yeah.

All right. So if my name is dead, then hey. He's dead. You know what I'm saying? Kilt him. You know what I mean? What else you got? What else happened this week, Taylor?

What else happened this week? Your boy. Who's my boy? It wants to be Jesus. Yo, you got to stop, bro. Pull it up. Trump got to stop. Trump was...

So he put this one out, and he had another one out too. That's the one he put out. No, this is the funny shit. Hold on. He said, I'm a doctor. But no, did you hear the story behind this? Pam Bondi came out and said,

the picture was doctored. So they must have told Trump that the picture was doctor. He's retarded. He's definitely retarded. They're like, the picture was doctor. But you know the crazy thing about this picture. Try to find the original image and then the one he posted.

Because they got a satanic imagery above him. So that middle figure right there, look at the top figures that are shadowed. The middle figure, they kind of warp to make look like, it kind of looks like this guy ball or whatever like that. I don't know if you've seen that imagery. It's just a regular soldier in the original image. The one he posted got this satanic imagery. Wow.

So, so what do we think? of this. I think that everybody's retarded. Well, that's true. When Pam Bondi says this picture was darked. Yeah, yeah, look at it. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not the original. You got to find the original, the OG. Hold, what do you mean to say satanic images? Now, I got to fucking. That one right there. It used to just be a regular.

Soldier. Soldier. And they added the little horns. So what is, this picture right here I'm looking at. Is this the original? No. No. This is the. Doctored image. We could I don't understand when they say doctored Photoshoped Yeah but we know that

Like why do we have to say that No no meaning there was another image of it No no no no but what I'm saying is Why did Pam Bondi have to tell us The image was doctored We know it was doctored Donald Trump is not Jesus So what was the point of her saying

A doctored photo would be like If me and you took a picture right now And we put some dixon You know what I'm saying Like that would be doctorate. Why did they have to tell us this was doctor? What I think is interesting about this is he took this picture down, right? Immediately when the Christians were upset, he took that shit down.

And he didn't take the Obama video down that it made them monkeys. I mean, the reality is racism is light compared to blasphemy of Jesus Christ. I think the reality is what's my base care about. And I think the reality is like, I don't care of black people. People are upset about this shit. I care of Christians are upset about this shit. Of course. His base, I mean, listen, yeah,

you catering to a racist base, of course. I don't think it makes the base racist. I think it makes the base Christian. But no, I'm not talking about with the Obama with the monkeys. You have to be catering to the racist in your base to post that and leave it up. Or catering to, yes, catering to them there or not concerned if you piss all black people. Of course not. No.

Yeah. I think both. Yeah. Both. Yeah, 100%. There's a lot of black Christians. He must not know. You know what I'm saying?

You also have to take the religion out of it to me because I don't care if he posts himself with Jesus. I'm not offended by that because I don't believe in Jesus. But the type of... Jesus is Christ, Chris. I don't. Yeah, you do. I don't.

Yeah, you do. How? I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know what's worse. Posting up being Jesus or not believing in Jesus. I think not believing in Jesus might be worse, Chris. What do you believe in? not believe about Jesus? You know, everything.

Jesus, please forgive him. Wait, what do you believe? He knows not what he does, man. He's been indoctrinated with Chinese propaganda. Say again? He's Jewish. Jesus hasn't come yet. I grew up in a very Catholic neighborhood, almost 100% Catholic. I was one of the few non-Catholic families. I have a very distinct memory of going to my mother as a young child and being like, who the fuck is this Jesus guy that he wants to do with. That's wild. That's right out. tell you what the conversation was.

What she said? She said, we killed that motherfucker back. Chill out. Chill out. I'm just saying that's what his mom said. He said we all are. His mom said that they killed him and then blamed it on the Roman.

God, y'all don't know what got into them today. What's you putting me and his little Titanic fucking freeze? I'm telling to tell you what his blasphemous mom said. I get what you saying, but I always want to roleplay that. Don't even put yourself in her Chinese slippers. Just that.

But go, okay, go on. Jewish slippers. Jewish slip, I'm sorry. Yeah. She said, you know, Jesus was a great man, but just a man, just a great human being. So that makes sense to me. Yeah, I mean, listen, yeah, but that's still. Anyway, but that still don't make me, I don't understand why you don't believe in him then.

You believe he was a man. Hey, he's a great man. He had some great ideas. So you believe in Jesus. Right, I don't believe that he was the son of God. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Of course he was, because we're all children of God. in hairs, my boy. You believe in Jesus.

I believe there was a Jesus. That's the step, but that's what I'm saying. That's the first step, Chris. We're going to reel you in. And the last. We go reel you in like a fresh jellyfish, my boy. He could be a great prophet, great messenger. Listen, I've, I had uncles who every Christmas I would get the Bible with Jesus's words in red. They've been trying to flip me for, you know, decades. I'm good. Anyway, what I'm saying, is for me the issue is the type of imagery that's being used this type of iconography like that's what

you saw from mal that's what you saw from Stalin that's what you see in north korea yeah it's the imagery that's the issue more so than the jesus to me as our president is this inipotent all-powerful figure savior you can't do that man yeah yeah yeah that's a dictatorship well don't worry they're not falling for it they're fucking pissed what happened to the separation between church and church and state now we're talking yeah like what's happen. Though there is a part of me of things we might need like the Pope to just step in because Pope Leo's been cooking. Yo, him shitting on the Pope was crazy. Yeah, but Pope Leo pressing him too. Pope Leo's a Chicago gangster. Here's my thing with Pope Leo. What did he say

wrong other than he wants peace? Don't we all want peace? Soft on crime. He was soft on crime. I will, hey, listen, not to give Trump some credit here, but like, you know, Catholic Church could be a little tougher on one specific type of crime. You know, but so could Trump. But Trump. But Trump got to clean his own house. Yo, maybe that's why they're beefing. Maybe it's like, I'm the best pedophile protector. No, I'm the best pedophile protector. That's right.

That's the classback for Pope Leo. Don't come over here trying to clean up our house. You better clean up your house. Clean it up. Okay. Clean it up. What if Trump be like? They were in the Epstein file.

Yeah, yeah. And he's like, we had our own files. We had our own. We moved him around. Yeah. But what if that's what the Pope was like, yo, at least we moved them. Oh, my God.

You guys still let them stay in government. That is best. That is bad. And control the world. It is sad that people love to cover up child sex crimes. Bro. I don't know what's sadder. The fact that so many people participate in them

are that so many people like to cover them up. Both. Well, both. Both is bad, but participating is way worse. I don't know, bro. It's not way to me. Yeah, it's not way. Yeah, you said way.

It ain't that many wise. Yeah. It's worse, but it's not way to. way. Because if I'm watching it, you're right there. I'm right there. And I'm like, yo, yo, don't tell nobody. If you protected somebody that's doing that shit to kids, you just as bad, bro.

I don't care. Oh, man. Maybe what, I mean, probably worse. Don't even make the argument. Not only, no, no, the reason I say probably worse, because it's like you would participate to me. Like, you don't get no strikes because you see it going down, you cover it up and then, you know, try to keep it from people because you're not trying to protect nobody.

It's not bank robbery. It's not bank robbery. You know what I mean? Like, you're not an accomplice. This is... It's worse than being an accomplice. Yeah. To me, this is worse than being an accomplice.

I know that this person is committing child sex crimes. I'm not covering it up. I'm not turning the person in. Yeah. I'm just continuing to watch this shit go on. How could you live with yourself? Well, what about for the priest that they're looking at it like, oh, well, this priest delivers the message and he does so much good.

So it's like, yeah. They could be looking at it that way. Nah, because God don't got nothing to do with this. The word of God can stand without, you know, the person who's preaching. You don't need a messenger to understand the word of God. Well, Catholics would say that you do. That would be the distinction for Catholics. I would say that too if I'm trying to get a bunch of little boy out.

I wouldn't want to stay in a fucking position of power and try to be the guy all the time. God did. I would tell everybody, y'all can't get to him without me. I think that, I think that, I think that, like, the Catholic Church arises at a time where not everybody had the ability to read. So literacy rates weren't high. So you needed people to communicate the Bible to you and you needed people to like help you understand the metaphors that exists within the Bible. Now we take for granted everybody's literacy. So like the modern Christian,

the, was it like the Episcopalian or Evangelical or like basically the Protestant Reformation happens after the printing press, if I'm not mistaken. Also remember what the Catholic Church, how they gave their mass originally too. Is it Latin, right? Right. No one speaks Latin. Yeah, but you could have direct discourse with your priests. Right, but that's the whole point. The priest is the conduit.

The only conduit. Because literally the language, the message is being delivered. And there's negative sides of that, of course, but there's also positive sides to it, I think, because you've also seen a lot of people kind of, I don't want to, I'm always delicate with religion, but, like, you've maybe seen people like morph and change what the meaning of the book is to their own preferences. And I'm sure the Catholic Church has done that throughout history as well. I'm not saying every single person is perfect, but like when you are held accountable by one person that the church figures feel like is the most pious and responsible man, it's a little different than when you have like an offshoot church that is just directed on the Bible.

And then you can get people do crazy shit and justify it by pages in that book. But it should be held together by one entity, which is God, because I would have to assume that belief in a higher power came way before organized religion. Of course, but like we know that man will use God to do heinous acts. Yes. I mean, what's the first thing that this motherfucker did when they're trying to get us to believe in this war

that makes no sense? It's like, Higgseth is talking to shit about like, God wanted him. God wanted us to do this. I was like, man. You really got no reason for us to be over there

if you, if you're going to God immediately. It's like, what do you say? When a comedian's bombing and he goes, give it up to God? Man. So when America's bombing, can we go, give it up to God?

It's like, shout out to God. God. God be treating us like YouTube, He treats, he treats Earthlings the way I treat YouTube. Where you're just like, I watch it, I'm in the same, but I don't, I ain't moved by none of that shit y'all saying about me. You know what I'm saying?

Because there's no way, because God should have been pressure watch for all of this. All of the lies we don't put on God. Man. People swear to God every day on the dumb shit. Every day. Every damn. I'm one of them. And not no more.

I used to swear to God about so much stupid shit, you know. But you know why? I really could do that shit. Man, I was at... When I told you I had a 72-inch vertical leak, you believed it. I did it. You did it.

I believe you did it too. You're still lying. That's not a lie. Listen, if you're 5'2 and you dunk a 10-foot basketball goal, how high are you in the air? I think you were 72 inches above some part of Earth. I just don't think it was the part where you was jumping from.

But there was a part. If you were five, two, five, three, and dunk a 10-foot basketball. Yeah. What's that? Probably like 50 plus inch. 40 probably. You know what I'm saying? 50 plus inch vertical leaf.

Yep. That was me. Yeah, yeah, probably. That was me. I was at church. I was at church as past Sunday. It's church in Harlem that my wife goes to regularly and I try to go to. And I just, I don't want to make myself seem like I'm very consistent.

and I'm casualty but I really enjoy it and I have a great time. It's called Renaissance in Harlem. It's absolutely fantastic. And there's the pastor's guy named Corvinesis and he said this, but not here, this amazing, amazing, amazing sermon. He was talking about like,

sometimes we get to the point where we want to, we want to, he would want to convince people of the truth of God so much. And he would be like debating and debating and debating and he's like, what's the point of winning the argument if you lose your friend? And it was just this really interesting, framework, which is like, love thy neighbor is what God wants you to do.

He doesn't want you to win your neighbor. He doesn't want you to, like, beat the life out of them until they finally submit. It's like sometimes being kind to that person and loving that person, even if you guys disagree on something, is the more holy thing to do. And it's a, it was like a really good reminder because our ego gets in a way sometimes when you're debating or arguing and you just want to be right, especially with the people who are closest to. I think that's one of the, is it one of the four of the law of the power, never win?

never win through argument like you never want to win something through argument or something like that I don't know but it just I don't know that shit resonated with me

it's like what's the point of of winning if you lose the connection with that person yeah it's like do you want to be right

or do you want to be happy but what if you're fucking right then A if you're right oh yeah never went through argument went through actions so it's like if you're right then you trust God.

Oh, yeah, Robert Green says, he doesn't say never argue at all. He's saying when you prove someone wrong publicly, you often trigger ego. People don't change. They just get defensive and resentful. You win the moment,

but lose influence long time. Have you read The Prince? I'm not getting you. This is a, it's Machiavelli. No. So Machiavelli was this like, I know who McAbelly was. Yeah.

So when he was locked up, he was trying to like get the good favor of maybe it was the Mexican. did she use or something like that. So he wrote this book called The Prince, if I'm not mistaken, about how to operate within power dynamics, specifically within like government and monarchy, et cetera.

And the idea was like to pitch himself as like a consultant to this ruling family while he was locked up. Hopefully I'm not bastardizing this. And Robert Green acknowledges that the 48 laws of power are just taken from- McAveli. So like,

he reframes them and packages them in this like beautiful way. But like it's pretty cool that, back in like renaissance era Italy there's this dude that's locked up but is so fully aware of power dynamics and like how to operate with power to make sure that they don't kick you out of power one straight up to head you but also so that you don't appear weak yeah and he's writing this as like a uh i don't not a resume but like what is it like an audition chris right yeah does he end up getting scooped up by the family or no i don't remember how it played out in his own like

But in that crazy, like, a guy wrote a book in that far away. And, like, right now we're referencing it on a podcast in 2020. Words are powerful. Right. But that's also back in the day when they understood the power of words so much so that they would write them down in that way and say, hey, this is going to be shared for generations. You know what I mean? And I think that, you know, it's not just the words.

They were actually writing from experiences. You don't just wake up and say, okay, when through, never went through argument, went through action. You have to experience that. Over and over. Over and over and then write it down. I wonder about that all the time because I'm like, yo, who is actually transcribing what's going on?

Right now, you're saying? Right now. Like how is history going to look back at this moment? How is history going to look back at this moment? Depends who wins. And I was thinking about that. I'll tell you later, but I think we need more satire. Ooh.

We need more in living colors. We need more boondocks. We need more Huckleberry Finn. We need more Huckleberry Finn. When Chappelle said he wanted to bring Chappelle show back, I was like, that's interesting. And the reason why is because there's nobody holding a mirror up to society. I even think about that era of, remember when Jonah Hill was in like all the super bags.

And it was, it was, Seth Rogan. And they were capturing a moment in time to get them to the Greeks, So all of that shit like that. This is to me, like, I think what you're saying here is that people don't want direct conversation about what's happening in the world right now, because especially politically because it's so exhausting. But they will accept a satirized version of it that makes light of these things that are going down without taking on the weight of everything that's happening.

Because I can give you my messaging without getting into our argument. So now it's no back and forth here. Watch this. You watched it for an hour and a half. You digest it. If I do it right, then I'm showing all sides of the debate, all sides, the argument, and now we can go figure it out. People are exhausted. People are exhausted.

But satire also works because it's an exaggerated version of the truth. Yes. And the problem is right now the truth is so exaggerated. I know. Or the presentation, let's say, is so exaggerated that the satire is almost entering at the same level as the truth. As the truth. So it loses a lot of its thing. It's hard to satirize what's happening now

because it's so absolutely absurd that 10 years ago, if you just said these things are happening, it would be satire. I don't think you have to exaggerate it that much. If you go back and you watch some of the best satire, like things like the person's physical appearance may be exaggerated. But everything else, the idea,

you know, something the person may have said, it's pretty on par. with what we actually experienced. But I feel like Chappelle's show, he exaggerated the figures like Prince and R. Kelly, he exaggerated them. What Drewski is doing. Did he know? Drewski is just mimicking them. But did he exaggerate him?

Listen, when we saw the Prince basketball sketch, we thought that was exaggeration until we learned, no, Prince really was playing basketball and taking motherfuckers to the whole. Well, I think that's what Chris is saying. It's like, we were unaware that that was true. Yeah. So the truth seemed like satire. Right now, we're aware of how absurd shit is. So how do you go more absurd than what's happening? It's still absurd just because, like, Prince playing basketball.

Is crazy. Dressed like Prince and making people pancakes afterwards is absurd. But it was true. It's true, though. So you can still show people the truth. I don't think we're really paying attention. But maybe we got too much truth. Like, maybe that's what's going on.

We'll take, like, Chappelle's the yellow cake. sketch or the sketch where he knocks the bottle of water over to distract everybody from the fact that he wants oil. That doesn't feel radically. I mean, you know, there was a clip on Easter of Trump standing next to an Easter bunny, you know, giving a speech. Hilarious. That's satire. That would have been a satire, right? Except it's actually happening. But you know what's so funny? This is why I still watch The Daily Show. I mean, not just because I come on it, But the Daily Show takes these real life moments

and just creates content around them. And they'll show you the clips. And this is some shit that back in the day you would do a sketch up. Now you don't have to. Now you can just show me the real clip. But I'm telling you, a lot of people miss this shit. I saw the Easter buddy shit on the Daily Show. And there are others like that.

You don't mind when the enemy is weak, but that enemy is strong. You guys see the rabbit too, right? I've been, I, you see it. Oh, thank God. I'm so glad they see it. You know, clearly I've been on a lot of leprosy meds, so I don't, a lot of hallucinations. By the way, the surreal image of the president running through his cavalcade of grievances next to the Easter bunny was not exclusive to the balcony.

Poor Peter Contell had to listen to this bullshit all day. And I heard, I heard, I knew, I didn't pay attention enough. because Donald Trump is always doing so much shit, but I saw the Easter bunny clip on The Daily Show. I'll be honest, man, I think people want to escape from it. I don't even think they want to hear about it. I think when they get home from work, I think that they're getting New York Times notifications on their phone,

and every new one is a little bit more exhausting and fear-inducing than the next. And they're just like, I want to think about a fucking reality show with Mormon women shooting on their husbands. Like, I just, I need to be completely pulled out of this political exhaustion and put into a different world where I can escape. But we wouldn't want a period. I mean, I was talking to my daughter about this.

And she's like, my generation wants 90s themes. Well, this is the cycle. It makes us think there was America where things were normal. You know, like, I think there's a version of that. And I also think that this generation craves authenticity because everything that they've seen is, is inauthentic. That's here from the 90s, early 2000s feels real.

I mean, look at even what's happening right now. Like the white boy rocker bands are popping again, right? Like, the guys that headline Coachella are like the classic white boy indie rock bands. The strokes. Like, I grew up listening to these guys in the city. Now they're headlining Coachella. So it's like there is a movement kind of happening. And I think things are cyclical in general.

But like the 90s was probably, they don't remember it. They don't even understand it. But they look back at it and they go, oh, this is a time where things were quote unquote, real, and they crave real. And I think that we have to go back to holding up a mirror to society and showing people how ridiculous this shit is. So, yes, I understand everybody's exhausted, but they're exhausted because nobody's putting any of this in context.

It's just constantly coming at us, coming at us, coming at us. If somebody can take some of this shit, putting it in context, that's what stand-up is good about. That's what George Collin used to be so good about. That's what all of these sketch comedy shows used to be so good about. You could take these absurd, crazy moments in our society, put some funny behind it, and give us some context to it. At least make us realize what we should be thinking about.

Yeah, yeah, to a certain extent. But, like, I think also, like, if you're somebody who's, you know, working a job, you're trying to make ends meet and rent is expensive and food and expense, all these things, you go out to a comedy show, like, do you want somebody up there going like, and Pete Higgs-F said? If it's funny, and if I know who the fuck Pete Hacks'F is. Yeah, maybe.

Or do you want to escape from that and hear hilarious stories about maybe cultural things that are happening about somebody's own personal life? And does that escape provides you the value that just being completely locked into this Doom Scroll does not give? I think when you're able to make fun of something. Yeah. It makes whatever that something is, even if it's heavy, feel lighter and make us feel like we can get through it. as long as the fun is the goal and not like some political messaging. Because I think what people don't want is regardless of which side, just to have like messaging jammed down their throat.

Like if the punchline is, and that's why we should go to Iran, you're like, ugh, get me out of this shit. If the punchline is using this war and then making something absurd or silly around it that has nothing to do with it,

then we're in kind of fun zone. Yeah. You got to see the movie Eddington by any chance. Nah. It's about a bear. Not Paddington. Now, it's about the height of the Black Lives Matter and COVID around 2020. Yeah, people don't want that right. No, no, it was really good.

Yeah, but people don't want it. Is it satire or is it? It was satire, but there was just enough distance six years ago. And they made fun of it all. They made fun of Black Lives Matter. They made fun of the COVID. Oh, I got to watch it. It's a movie?

It was a movie. And I watched it. I was like, yeah, man, that time really was fucking stupid. Listen, that's, you know, Kevin. distance from me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Six years ago felt like I could kind of take a breath and look back of it. You know, two of my favorite things.

When Kevin Hart's stand-up special, when he talks about how he got caught up and wanting to be an activist during that time. And when Duval always post those videos of like people dancing in front of the cops and shit. And Duvall, like, I'll never let you all forget how stupid y'all was. Like, I do. That's what this movie does. Yes. But that's what we need. Like, there's really no.

Like, this can't. The phone can't be the only time stamps, yo. It can't just be podcast clips and shit like that. Like, give me... No, you need art. Art. Art. I think art.

What's the music? I think art is important. I think art is incredibly powerful and is, like, useful definitely in times like this, like when people are stressed and when people just kind of want to escape. And I think you can address the issues, but like when you see movies that have, like, a political undertone, they just don't really perform that well. And then you see movies that, like, are just about. like a girl who's like a cleaning lady that fucks the other girl's husband, they make $400 million.

What if the cleaning lady is Mexican, she's here illegally. And she's too much. She's fucking for her visa and her green car. I think there's room for both. Have you seen the show with the boys? Superhero shit? Yeah. I know. It's like one of the most popular superhero shows right now. Yeah. Very has a lot of political tone. Like they're always making fun of the new dead devil. Yeah. Yeah. Even. New dead devil got mad political. I think there's room for... But the boys is so absurd and silly. Like, they're superheroes, right?

Yeah, but so it's like you're already... Sure. In the Trump administration. So it's satire of the Trump administration. Sure, but like, so is Zootopia. Like Zootopia, the cartoon is like obviously a metaphor, right? For race relations or, you know, social dynamics and culture. But it's a cartoon and we have animals, so it pulls us far enough away from it

where it doesn't feel like it's jamming the messaging down our time. And I think that's what the superhero genre can do. It's like, all these guys have got superpowers, so they pull us away so I could just escape in this world and I don't have to think too much of it. And then when they do make a point, you're like, ooh, was that? And I think that's the distance you need to be. I think if it gets close, close, close, I think people are like,

I'm so fucking stressed, I don't want to think about it. That's my suspicion. I think it's just got to be done right. Yeah. I really do. I think that we need somebody to hold the mirror up to what's going on in society, right? right now and not only make us laugh about it, put some things in context. Yeah.

I really do. Katie Perry, sexual assault. This is so crazy. You know I love me some Katie Perry. You didn't believe it. Who didn't believe it? You when I was telling you the story. Because the story sounded absurd.

I'm like, but you know. There is a part of it that is quite difficult to believe. You want to read it? No, just tell me the story. Who wrote this? First of all. So there's an actress. And by the way, I didn't, here's the thing.

When Taylor told me the story, Taylor told me some wild shit. Taylor was like, she pulled her panties to the top. It says it right here. That's the story. Exactly. That's a story. You want to read it? You want to read it or not?

Yeah, I do. I just go up. I don't read the tweets. Go up because the tweets are crazy. Yeah, Ruby Rose, who was an actress who was an actress, Orange is New Black. Katie Perry said, Katie Perry said about Justin Bieber's performance. I guess she was watching and she's like, thank God he paid for YouTube premium. I don't want to have to sit through any ads.

This is what set this off? Yeah. And then on that comment, Ruby Rose, who's an actress, said, Katie Perry sexually assaulted me at Spice Market Nightclub in Melbourne. Who gives a shit what she thinks? Damn. That's, you hadn't went to left back. And somebody commented on that and says she kissed a girl and you didn't like it,

trying to have a joke. And then Ruby Rose says she didn't kiss me. She saw me resting on my friend's lap to avoid. her and bent down, pulled her underwear to the side, and rubbed her disgusting vagina on my face until my eyes snapped open, I projectile vomited on her. God damn, what the fuck her shit smelled like?

Son. That's crazy. She wasn't her early 20s. She wasn't supposed to have that BV. Allegedly. You got to have BV if you make somebody projectile vomit just by putting a face in it. By the way, Taylor, that's not the story you told.

And Ruby Rose is a lesbian. This story makes perfect sense. You told me something else that I was like there's no way physically that that could happen. you read you that. No, you did. I forgot how you worded it. Maybe in my mind

in my mind I thought you said that Katie pulled her panties to the side and then put her vagina in her face. And I'm like, how the fuck can you do that? This is what I was thinking

when you told me the story. You said, I thought just, you said she pulled her panties to the side and then took her vagina, meaning Ruby Rose's vagina and put Ruby Rose's vagina and put Ruby Rose's vagina

on her own face. I'm like, how, Taylor? Like, that don't think it is. I don't know how you got. I don't know how, that's what you got. I don't know how, that's what you told me. I'm like, I'm like, physically that's impossible. How the fuck could that even happen?

I also think projectile vomiting off of like a vagina smell seems hard to believe. That's the most, that's the most offensive thing about this whole post. Well, it's got to be. Got to be, right. Because that girl's a lesbian, so she definitely tried some years. It's not like it was the first time she smelled it. Like, she's been down there. She knows what they're like.

So, I think the worst part is Katie Perry being alleged that she sexually assaulted somebody else. I think that's the worst part of his question. No, that's not what we said, Alex. I said, what if you're Katie Perry? Yeah. The worst part of this story is that you heard that your vagina smells so bad that somebody projectile vomiting. I ain't talking about what we think.

Of course what we think this worst part is the sexual assault. Imagine just one, like we live in New York. There's a lot of smells here. I never project how vomiting. I know, yeah, project out vomiting. crazy. You go straight horror movie off the box? Off the box? That's crazy. God damn.

Like it wakes you up. Like you're like, B. Exorc. You just wake up? No, that's... You know what I'm saying? Fuck the smell of salts. Bring Katie Perry's boxels. God damn. In between rounds for a boxer. You know what I'm saying? Hens into motherfuck. You want the sidelines for an NFL game?

Quarterback gets sacked. Willie Beeman from smelling Katie Perry's box. He might also be saying... She could have been drunk, and then when she smelled bad meat, her vomit to him. I was only in my early 20s. I'm now 40. It has taken almost two decades to say this publicly, though I am so grateful to have made it long enough to find my voice. I just know how much of an impact trauma and sexual assault takes.

Thank you for seeing me. She's absolutely right, but, you know. Katie is denying that any of this happens. Yeah. But also the reality of the situation is people don't take same sex. Sexual assault the same, especially women on women. If it was a guy on guy, it would be totally different. Well, woman on women, this, this, as big as a star Katie Perry is, you would think this would be a huge, huge story.

This is not as huge as if this was Luke Perry. Am I lying? No. If this was Luke Perry? You make a great point. For some reason, we don't take the same sex sexual assault. Women. Nah, men on men too.

Well, yeah. It depends, depends. If it's an older man with a younger boy, for sure. Bro, yes, sure, but like, how many, how many, like, age, quote-unquote inappropriate relationships are there? Like, there's a super old gay dude. He got, like, a 20-something-year-old. Twink. Twink.

And it's like, like, a skinny gay guy. That's a real thing? Yeah. Anyway. And, like, and if there was a, if, you know, shit. If there was a super old dude with, like, a young girl, we would be critical of it, right? We would be like, well, this seems inappropriate. There's a big age gap.

business person taking advantage of that person. But like, you're right, there's a different bar for same-sex relationships where we seem to not be as protective of the people there. You take this same story. Luke Perry pulled woman's panties to the side, sticks his cock in her face. No, he's going to jail.

He's going to jail. They say Katie Perry is being investigated, though, right? Did I read that somewhere? Yeah. Damn. Yeah. That's going to be interesting. She has denied it. She has denied it.

This is going to be interesting. If there is footage from that nightclub, Well, is that a nightclub? If, apparently, if there's footage from Spice Market where she throws that thing at her and then immediate projectile vomit. Hoof. God damn, yo. That is horrible, man. What the fuck is wrong with your vagina that it makes somebody projectile vomit, allegedly?

That's an alleged, bro. Jeez. Come on, man. She got kids. She got kids. She got kids. You know, that's an Orlando Bloom's X. Shout out to Katie Perry.

Oh, right. Shout out to Elin. Shout out to Legolas, you know. And that's sad, yo, because also this is just an allegation. Right? That's right. Allegations are not. But nobody cares about the truth when the lies more entertaining.

That lie is entertaining as fuck. You know, salute the Ruby Rose. If that, I don't know. I'm not saying what's true and what's not true. I'm just saying like, we hope everyone gets justice. Yeah, that's right. That's right. If that's Katie, that the truth comes out and vindicates her, we hope that.

if that's Ruby and the truth vindicates her, then we hope that. Well, nobody's going to have a look at Katie the same. Yeah, you know what? You might be right, and that is a shame. That's why these allegations are very damning. You better hope that it's not another person that comes out and talks about how she got a whiff her box and fucking projectile vomiting. Well, her in Orlando just got divorced, so he is in a power position right now. He's in a power position right now.

He's in a power position. I think we should just move on. I agree. Yeah, let's pay some bills. Let's do it. Let's pay some bills. Yeah. Let's pay some bills, gang.

Let's pay some bills. Let's do some church enough. Show, see what we got. Let's do it, man. Show's coming up, man. Thank you guys so much. But I really appreciate it. This is got, I don't know, my website.

Maybe you could bring it up, the Andrewssells.com. But we're going to add some more. We're going to add some more clubs in the near future. And we're going to add some more potentially shows at these clubs that have sold out. So thank you guys so much, man. Tampa is sold out. Denver sold out. Salt Lake City sold out. Thank you guys so much. We're thinking about adding shows in those places. I'll post on my Instagram if we do. We got the Netflix's Joke Festival with Jelly Roll. That show is going to be absolutely crazy. That's going to be May. Scroll down 8th, if I'm not mistaken.

Yeah, May 8th. All right. So go check that out. And then we're also going to be out in Nova Scotia, Halifax, Nova Scotia this summer for the Great Outdoors Fest. I'm going to bring Cam Patterson from SNL and Kiltony up there. Lucas Zelnick, Mark Gagnon. It's going to be on it as well. So we got that cooking, man. I appreciate y'all. Charlemagne, what you got?

The fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival, baby. Saturday, April 25th in Atlanta, Georgia at Pullman Yards, man. Go to blackeffect.com slash podcast festival to get your tickets. We are, man, next weekend. Next weekend. Next weekend, we will be there, Atlanta. of Georgia, April 25th, N-O-R-E and DJEFN, Noree F-N, Drink Chams podcast, will be on that stage. Salute to Mona, the don't call me white girl podcast, Mona, I love your hair.

I love your black effect hair, Mona, okay? I can't wait to see you at the podcast festival. Crystal Radee Haslett, keep it positive, sweetie podcast, she'll be there. Jeff Teague with the Club 520 podcast, Carlos King with the reality with the king, Gritchin' Eggs podcast with Ice Cup Cat and my man, Deante Kyle. man, I want to announce some of the guests that's going to be on the podcast, but I still don't think I can yet. But you're going to want to be there.

That's the thing about the podcast festival. It's not just the shows. It's the people that they bring on their shows as well. But, you know, it's some very, um, nah, that'll give too much. But tickets are on sale now, black effect.com slash podcast festival. Go get your tickets. And we'll see you in Atlanta next week.

I'll be there too. Tail over there. Minding people. Whatever. I'm going to be hosting this stream. So, yeah. That's the beauty of the Black Effect podcast festival, man. It's not just the place that you come and you're entertained by the podcast that are on stage.

It's really a networking event. Like, if you're in, you know, in the podcasting space and you're into the business of podcasting or want to get into the business of podcasting, then, you know, the Black Effect is, like, a great place for you to come and just network with people. Like, we got panels. Like Kev on stage is going to be on a panel. John Hope Brian is on a panel. I'm looking at this. I'm looking at this panel right now.

It is the AI, the Evolution and Future panel. John Hope Brian, Ian Dunlap, Bridget Todd, Cliff Worley. It's a lot going on, man. And you've got a lot of dope activations, right? You have that race car. A lot of dope activations. We got the race car simulator that's going to be there. Courtesy of NASCAR, my guy, Roger Carroof.

We got the picture podcast platform. That's going to be there. You can come out there and pitch your podcast to potentially be on the Black Effect Network. Like, a lot of dope shit going on, man. I like it. Pull up, pull up, pull up, pull up. I like it.

You just try out Little John, man. Little John's book. We just announced that I'm putting out Little John's book on Black Privilege Publishing. Oh, my God. It's called I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me, man. Wow. Yeah, it's called I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me.

It'll be out this fall. Yeah, man. Shout out to Little John, man. Little John is a cultural icon. And it is a pleasure to be able to help him tell his story. October 20th, 2020s. You can pre-order that right now, wherever you buy books. Oh, guys, and I got a new live show every Sunday at 11 a.m.

It's called AM mornings. It's a live call-in show so you guys at home can call in, give your opinion about today's pop culture, politics, everything in between. Just head over to YouTube.com at slash a.m. mornings. I'll see you there. I kept getting sent this clip this weekend, and people were saying that, Saturday Night Live was inspired by the brilliant idiots. Yep. Nah.

That's what they said. It was a sketch called two kids from the back of the bus, and they were on a weekend update with Michael Che and Colin. I only know if Michael Che was there. I didn't see Michael Cheap, but he's not in this segment at least. But it's Cam and, what's Cam? Marcello. Cam and Marcello.

Yo, we just want to know if this was inspired by us because that's what the people are saying. A lot of people do dick jokes. It's not, we're not the only ones to do. It ain't about the dick jokes, though. It's the part when they go. from idiot to intelligent. So you, they go from idiot to brilliant. Yes, and Colin referenced it, bro.

Let's listen to it. Guys, calm down. Calm down, okay? You're here to talk about inflation, okay? Right, right. But first, can I just use your phone real quick, Mr. Jost? I'm sorry, mine got confiscated. Well, why did your phone get confiscated?

I don't know. I didn't do nothing. I didn't even do nothing. I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. if I didn't even do nothing. I don't know.

I find that hard to believe. Okay, fine. I posted a video of me swiping a debit card between the bus driver's neck folds. It was funny. The back of that, like, a pack of hot dogs. It was like, brim, you know what? Be trying.

This is serious. This is serious, okay? I want you guys, you got to focus up, okay? Focus up. Okay. Seriously. Seriously. Okay, inflation was up 3.3%.

Prices are out of control. Everyone has been affected. Even my boy, Gribon, can't afford these groceries. Nah, for real. I feel bad for Gribon. Life is tough. Oh, my God. Who's Grubon?

Oh, Gribon is a friend of ours. It's Grubon these nuts! Got your house! Yeah, I really don't appreciate being shot in the face a bunch of times. Also, you're supposed to come out of here and talk about the inflation report. You've had this assignment for weeks. No, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill right now. Chill out.

Let me lock in. Lock in. Let them cook, let them cook. Okay. Inflation report, right? Let me ask you a basing question of economics. Basing? Basic.

You got it, you got it. You got it. Yeah, lock in, man. All right. Let me ask you a basic question of economics, okay? Okay, great, yeah. Would you rather eat 100 glizzies or pass away from big booty dishes? Good question. Good question.

I guess I would obviously choose the glissies. Oh, hell no. Mr. Joe's a glizzy goblin. You're nasty, bro. Boy. All right, you guys are, you're too rowdy, okay? You guys need to calm down. Okay, fine.

Jokes aside, I don't think this inflation will predicate a noticeable shift in the Federal Reserve. Yeah, but it does put the fad between a rock and a hard place because they had to promote low inflation. while still encouraging economic growth. The hell? Is that... Are you guys, like, secretly smart?

Yes, dude. We get tutoring from Amanda Cahole. He's a genius. You know Amanda Caholt. Who is Amanda Cahole? Amanda Cajol these nuts. Don't get him. Don't get him, bitch.

Yo, can brilliant names get some fucking credit? For what? Can brilliant this get some credit for the inspiration to this? Oh, that's not us, right? We definitely inspired this. Come on. Come on.

Colin might as well have said, y'all are like some brilliant idiots. This was like, come on, bro. Who's who then? Stop it. It's clear. It's obvious. Who's who? The black guy and the white guy.

The only reason why I can say we inspired is because Cam doesn't get one D's nuts joke off. Yeah, he definitely doesn't. And you have yet to get one off. Those are some good ones, too. Amanda Cahold? Amanda Cahold was a laugh. I like Amanda Cahole. And it was great because he did it right after being serious.

Exactly. So he wasn't expecting that. Who's the man to call this? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? A man that can hold these nuts. That's not too intimate, though. You can't make your dick joke sound intimate.

A man that can hold these nuts. Yeah, I don't know it to be gentle. It's got to be more aggressive. And dick jokes work best when they're in and around your mouth. You know what I mean? When you're saying intimate shit, like a man that can hold you. Wait a minute. Hold on.

So is Jost then Chris Moreau? Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah. I can see Chris doing that. Wow. They had a white guy ticket. Asian dudes rolls. That's fucked up.

Fucked up, that S&L wouldn't honor your race, man. Are both of these guys cast members? I know the black Cam is the brother, right? Yes, I know he's a cast member. Who's the other guy? Marcello. He's also a cast member. He's a comedian?

Yes, yeah. Okay, salute to Marcelo. Both are stand-up, right? Yes. Funny? Yes. Funny guys, very funny guys. Both of them really funny.

Let's do some asking idiots, gang, gang. Let's do some asking idiots. How do you M.D. underscore Lowe Porella says, how do you measure success in a war? where the global economy also takes a hit. I don't think there is such success in a war. There ain't no success in this shit. Yeah, there's no success when it comes to war.

No success when innocent people are dying. Yeah. No success when the global economy is absolutely obliterated. There's no success. No, there's no success. They go invent success and they're going to try to sell it to us, but hopefully we're at a point where we're not believing the propaganda bullshit. Yeah, you're a sick person if you think, you know, war, making the stock market go up is

I don't even know if it makes it go up. I don't think it does. People say that, but I don't know. Not right now when oil is fucking $120, $140 a barrel, like... Why do they say that, Chris? Why did they say war makes the stock market go up? Well, in the past, it's because you've had a lot of manufacturing jobs created and, you know, there's war efforts where they start making tanks or planes. This isn't really the case.

No, this is not the case at all right now. But back in the day, yeah, the government, I mean, when you're at war, the government is going to spend as much money as possible to make sure you win because if you lose, everything's over. So when the government is pumping money into the economy, there's ideally some liquidity in there and businesses will do better. But that's not what's happening right now. No. That's not this.

So no. Let's stop the bullshit. And nobody wants war, bro. Hey, bro. Say it with your chest, man. Like, nobody wants war. Mani Yee says, would y'all be down for a president that's a millennial? Absolutely.

What are you talking about? Whether we like it or not is going to happen eventually. Is it? I mean, they're not going to skip the whole generation. It might not be. So they go to what? Well, they thought at what, 81? Yeah, but you got to be 35 to be president.

So the next one's going to be. So, millennial's like 81. I know, but you have to be at least 35 years old to be president. I know, but they're talking about somebody born within that time frame, 81, whatever. What is it? I think more so they're saying you become the president who's like 30 to 45. Would you a Mondanami age president? He's not a millennial?

I'm not a country of the millennial, is he? Yes, he is. He's like 35. Yeah, I think it's 81. To 89. Oh, 81. Okay, okay. I think, I think so.

Yeah. When millennials are. I think it'd be nice. I think it'd be refreshing. I think these old dudes, maybe we need to get them. No. You're a old vice president right now. How old straight do you been?

Yeah, 81 to 96 are millennials. Yeah. Yeah, he's probably. I'm going to say like, I'm a millennial. So, yeah, I guess when 90 would be a millennial. He's a little 84. Who? Yeah.

But that's, yeah, 81 to 89. He's a millennial then. Yeah, 81 to 96 is considered millennial. He doesn't have that energy, though. William just sounds like a younger. Yo, they age crazy. Yo, it's crazy to be older than the vice president. That shit just hit me right now.

You know how old Seth Rogan is? Gahlly. How old you think Seth Rogan? How old you think Seth Rogan is? 42? Really? How old? Well, you're white, so y'all see each other.

Why? How old is he? He's 44. Yeah, that's how old do we look? How old do you think he is? Seth Rogan? Yeah. I thought Seth was in his 50s at least.

Wow. You didn't think so, Seth Rogan? Fat people all kind of look the same age. Like, from like 25 to like 45, they all look the same. Like, you never seen a fat person that look young or old. They just look fat. You think Seth is fat? He was fat.

Like, he embodied fat. I get what you're saying, though, because when Jonah Hill was fat, he could play a teenager. Yeah, you wouldn't even. Or he could play a 35-year-old. Like, fat people have one age. It's fat. Jonah Hill looks the same Super Bad and in Wolfram.

And then Jonah got skinny. He looked old. He got fat again. He looked young. He's in a new movie now I want to see. I haven't watched it yet. This is shit on Apple with him and Keanu Reese. Oh, shout out.

It was number one this weekend. I ain't get a chance to watch. I watched Super Bad Not Too Longo. That is such a funny. Hilarious. I forgot how funny that he was. No, Joe's funny as funny as fuck, man. Jonah's funny as fuck, man.

John is funny as fuck, man. I don't think Jonah gets enough credit as a comedic actor. Yeah. One of the fucking bad. I watched Super Bad. Nah, bro. It's funny.

For no reason. He wants my dick all about him around her mouth. All in and around her mouth. Like, that is my shit, yo. Like, he wants my dick, all in and around her mouth. She wants to fuck me. She wants my dick in and around her mouth. I like that type of shit.

That shit was great. You know, another good movie I watched this weekend? What? This shit is called, uh... I went down a rabbit hole because I started watching get him to the Greek. And then I was just like, watching everything from getting Sarah Marshall.

Diddy and Russell Brand? You know, gosh, you're watching a fucking Me Too Mount Rushmore right there. Damn. You know what I'm saying? That's a good ass cinema. They played the fuck out of different roles. But then I started watching for getting Sarah Marshall because I forgot that character came from that movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I watched this movie called Book Smart with Olivia Wild and I forgot who else is it. I forgot who the other person is. Fire. It's like about these two girls. Is girl super bad? Not as edgy.

But yeah. But there, right? These two girls who decide they want to, they wasted three years of high school, so they want to have like one great night. Yeah, yeah. And so that shit was pretty good. Frankie.adds. dot value says, what's your best childhood memory that your kids will never experience?

Andrew? My best childhood memory. That your kids will never experience. That my kids will never experience. My best childhood memory. I don't know if they'll never experience it. Yeah, because if it's your best childhood memory, I want my kids to experience it.

I remember we were down two. I'm at the free throw line. There's like three seconds left. I hit the first free throw. Second free throw. I miss. I get the rebound. I put up a layup.

We win the game. Wow. I think that's... Carmine Street Recreation Center. Shout out Ray Pagan. That shit was... Oh, my dad was there. He's hyped.

Why are you made? I'm not trying to get you. Ray Pagan, rest in peace, Ray, the goat. But he ran Carmis C. CREC. Recreation Center. Yeah. My best childhood memory. What could Ray Pagan be?

I don't know. But you're creative. I am creative. I have creative. You got to stand your toes. For me, my best childhood memory that my kids would never experience growing up in the country. Growing up in a rural area. You live in the woods.

You hug trees. It's different growing up on a dirt road and playing in the woods all day. We played in the woods. We got woods behind us that they could play. But they're not going to do it. Yeah, because they got video games and television and the internet.

I mean, they like going outside, but it's just like... No, but you guys were like chasing bobcats and putting your dick in them. Where you're gone? It was after the wildlife, bro. Like, for real. The wildlife, we were after the wildlife.

I'm trying to fuck something. We weren't scared of no wildlife. Wild life. Now, you know, these girls get a deer, all types of shit, and probably rightfully so. Yeah. You know, and then when you live in Jersey, like, it's unique shit out there. It is. They got burped the bears.

Bears and shit birds, and I ain't never seen a bear, but I always see the poop. I thought I was turning into a whale with you. No, I thought Katie Perry put a pussy on your mouth. Allegedly, that's a horrible thing to say about somebody. That's a horrible thing to say. That's a horrible thing to say. That's not true. I don't know.

You all be here, no, man. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast, I think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know shit,

you're right, too. It's the Burying Idiot's podcast. Thank you for listening. Peace.