The Brilliant Idiots - Mmmm Ahhh Good (Ft. Gary Owen)

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

This week we had friend and first time guest comedian Gary Owen to the show. During the episode, Gary gave some details on his side of his messy divorce, such as dodging the process server, losing trust and firing many people that worked with him. But to our black sistas l, just because his marriage ended does not mean he’s changing sides, because we all know the saying, “once you go black, you ain’t going back”! But the real question is what is Mr. Owen doing for the Black Lives Matter movement? Tune in to find out the answer. ********************************************************** Check out Andrew Schulz www.theandrewschulz.com Stream Charlamagne "Hell of a Week" on Paramount Check out all the podcast on Charlamagne's "Black Effect Network" https://www.blackeffect.com/ Empty Thoughts Podcast https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-zRsExS9E0VBmwb9Cekdug/featured https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/empty-thoughts-show/id1622292632 Empty Thoughts IG/Tik Tok https://www.instagram.com/emptythoughtsshow/ https://www.tiktok.com/discover/empty-thought-show Check Out "Summer Of 85" on Audible www.audible.com/pd/Summer-of-85-A…areTest=TestShare Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I love the premise of this show. Smart people talking about dumb shit. I think it's dumb people talking about smart shit. Oh, we go where we're not supposed to go, baby. Yep, Shalameenegad. Andrew Shoe. We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Back for another week of Brilliant Idiotness.

We got a special guest in the building, man. He likes to refer to himself. It's Black Famous. I just think he does his thing. Gary Owen Comedy is here. I am Black Famous. I think you're famous, famous. famous, Gary?

Famous, but I'm black famous. So, like, every black person knows Gary Owen. Not as well, they know my face. I don't know if they know my name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, though, because most black comics want to be white famous. Gary embraces being black famous. My thing is, find an audience.

I don't care who it is. If you're lucky enough as a comedian to find your audience, just find it. I could be wrong, but I feel like when you have a black audience, it feels like you're more broader than just have a, in a specific white audience. The reason I say that is because black people, blackness is so ingrained in culture. So if you're in the culture,

you know this person if he's part of the culture. It's mad white people that are super famous. I have no idea who they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So maybe that's it. So maybe it's like the people who are famous to black people are more mainstream fame.

Are you trying to say black culture is mainstream? It is. It's been that way. So white famous is being niche. I think white. I think so. And I think it's kind of like corny. away. Like, because black, black, yeah. I'm just kidding. Because when you part of black culture,

like hip hop blackness, that's pop culture. That's been the most popular culture for the past at least 25 years. Right. Easy. Easy. I was shocked that, and I saw you went to Italy and I was, I was DMing them because I went to Italy probably three weeks before he did, right? That's a funny thing happens. So we get the Amalfi Coast and these four guys from Ireland, go, are you Gary Owen? And I said, shut up. like I had I never been overseas really I was like shut up so I got a picture and they said okay here's what's funny about this picture one guy's name was Gary the other guy's name was Owen you got a picture with Gary Owen I said shut up really did on purpose let me see ID the dude's name was Gary whatever

the other name was Owen whatever wow I was like I didn't know you guys knew me in in Ireland I had no clue Gary is how dope is Italy oh my gosh it was good the Amofi Coast yeah that's great and I went with the right because my buzzer because my buzzes Who should go there with? Aren't you divorced? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I went with that group.

Gary got trolled. Gary got trolled. Hey, he got trolled as he sat down. He was like, what's the Wi-Fi passport? She was like, Black Wives Matter. Black Wives Matter. So I'm not, it's like this. So I don't have Wi-Fi right now.

But you went with a group of friends. We went with a group. And I went to the right group. A couple of guys had already been. So they knew how to navigate. Yeah. So they are the ones that they reserved. They reserve the yacht today.

They got to get a yacht. And they knew exactly what little restaurants. And it's all about the day. Day clubs are different in Italy than they are in the United States. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really you eat. And I hang out. Yeah.

And it's great, man, because, like, you'll be sitting there and all of a sudden, like, these group of people will just start singing. Yeah. And dance and the song will come on. The guy will come over. Like, if you ordered, like, Don Perry on, the guy would come over and, like, open and he'd spraying everybody's mouth and he never missed. Yeah. And then, you know, just dancing stuff.

I got, oh, they get it over here. They completely get life over here. Yeah. I like the Mofi Coast better. I went to Florence, Rome and Mofi Coast. Yeah. I like Florence better in Rome. You're like Florence better than Rome.

Really? Why? Rome was just big. Yeah. It was just big. Yeah. Florence felt like this is an Italian city because you almost had to walk everywhere. It was funny because when you were over there and watch you guys drunk and everything since I just left,

I was trying to figure out, do I know, where they're at? You try to figure it out like, I think I know where they're at. Yeah. I think I know that street. I just, Rome is like, you're looking at like thousands of years of history. I like, I like, does it feel like you fell? Does Rome feel like a feel? No. And I, and that's the thing is like, countries are like rappers, like, they're the last ones that know they fell off.

Like we, we could, we, America could have fallen off. You know what I mean? America has, but we don't, we will never know. We don't know it. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So, so it's like, I mean, if you're in Rome, you're walking around, you're seeing these, like, structures that were built thousands of years. ago and you're like, oh, wow, I'm in the greatest city that's ever existed. There's not even a question. And if you grow up in that, you're probably going, well, yeah, this is the greatest city that's ever existed.

You're doing a movie role, bro. Say again? Are you doing a movie role? I'm like, is this show? Like, I'm looking at the mustache with the slick back hair. I'm like, yo, this is a happily married glow. I'm Italian. Are you?

Happily married. I'm cheating. I'm like, this is. new. Like the way you walk in with the shades and everything. Hey, bro, it's raining out. You show you ain't growing mustache for the roll of roll. No, bro. It just takes me so long to grow a mustache. But I finally had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to Burning Man next week and I was like, let me get funky a little bit. Oh, they bring a Burning Man back? Yeah, it's the first year in a while in a while.

Wow. Gary, we need to get you to the Burning Man. Damn. You guys missed that whole back and forth. What? He said cheating. I went, I heard you. I heard you, Gary. Gary, I just laughing. I just laughed and I was in it. You know what it is? Gary just did Breakfast Club. Can we talk about Sheehan?

And Gary doing it? I don't think, I don't think. Gary said a lot on Breakfast Club. I don't know what he wants to say. This comes out after Breakfast Club, though. Oh, oh, wait. Wow. This pod comes out after.

It is weird. Can you say? When I did your guys podcast the first time three years ago, he was married. He was a single one. Yeah. I was married.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He comes out your fat. Is that your future in shows? You're married a white lady. Well, does she take, I know she took her ACL, but what else does she take in the end? It's not over. Oh, really?

Still not over. Oh, no. So you don't want to talk about anything now. I mean, we can talk a little bit, but it's like we got mediation in next week. And that's going to be a couple times. And if that don't work, we go to trial in October. Oh, God. Why do you need to go to trial?

Yeah, why can you? I hope not. It's a lot of stuff. like I can't say to what's over. Yeah. So you shouldn't even talk about it right now because this could be used against you in court, right? Dasman, I'm afraid of with the breakfast club.

I didn't say anything bad. You did it. You didn't. I was very, you can say the truth. Yeah, yeah. Which is the truth. Which is what? The truth was I said it on his.

I left. The narrative is that she left me because I got caught out there. Oh. No, no, I filed first. I wanted the divorce. Oh. That was what, that's what happened. I think it's an important conversation because you,

and I told Gary this, you never hear men say that they are, they were emotionally disconnected. That's something that always seems like it's reserved for women. They're like, I was emotionally disconnected. That's why I ended up, you know,

going out there to cheat because, you know, I wasn't getting what I needed at home emotionally. I never heard that from a man before, personally. I think that's a great conversation. Well, and it's also what I said is we always,

when a divorce happens, we always go, what the guy do. We always, I mean, go what the guy do? We never say, what the woman do also.

Oh, yeah. And like, You know, there's always two things that happen. A bad marriage isn't one person in marital bliss. Yeah. And the other person's miserable. Yeah.

So it's like when I called her and said I wanted the divorce, I was like, I was literally like, look, I want you to be happy. But I'm not the guy that can make you happy at this point. Yeah. I can't. Yeah. I just can. I was like, it's when little things that shouldn't bother you, bother you.

I've heard a lot of the comedians talk about it on stage, but I was like, oh, my God, it's happening to me. What was your little thing? Like, what? Okay. for example, she can't get mad at this. Because it's me.

She did nothing wrong. She took a bite, some food one time. She goes, mm, ah, good. And I was like, the fuck's so good about it.

What? Look, I'm at the table going like this. Mmm. Ah, good. What? And she did it again. I go,

I'm out. Fuck this shit me by myself. You just mad because she was happy about her meal? Just her going, mm,

ah, good. Bother me. She did nothing wrong. That's how she felt when you probably bit bit into a glist And it was like, ooh, good. What's a glizzy?

What's a glizzy? I don't know what a glizzy is. Glyzzy is a hot dog, but it's like a big joint. Like when it's hanging out the bun. So it's like the meat. All gluten free. Yeah, the meat is hanging out the bun and you bite into it and you enjoy it. You have a man, they're like, ooh, ooh.

Maybe. Maybe. You know what I mean? You got to get your emotional connection somewhere, right? Yeah. I thank you for doing the show last week, too, man. Gary did a hell of a week last week and had him in between

Flame Monroe and our guy Chiosay, legendary son of Combat Jack. Oh, wow. How was it? I didn't know the other dude was gay dude. He started talking. So I was like, I knew Flame, obviously. And then the guy that went, oh, and I wouldn't know if he wanted us to know.

So you were the glist. I guess. I was the dog in between the buns. Yeah, yeah. I was just like, yo, I'm looking around going, what? Okay. Gary was like, I feel like this is a setup. Yeah, I did. I feel like I was in a little Nas X video. You were just around two humans, man.

They were both good people. Yeah. But we don't talk about emotional disconnections enough, yo. That's the biggest thing in any relationship. Oh, yeah. If you're not emotionally connected to a person, there's nothing there. Yeah. Like, you're a marital bliss right now.

Like, you're like, it's not bliss. But like what I told him is like... Marriage is hard. Is it? Yeah. If you want to do it right This is why I told Charlie When I knew it was over was when the thought

Of her being with somebody else didn't bother me In the least That's when I knew I go oh this is this ain't good at all Interesting You know? Because I would think if a woman that you love And you're married and what you're going through

Yeah The thought or her going to somebody else If it don't hurt It's like this It didn't it wouldn't hurt But that's ego right there Don't you think? What?

Like the outside of the idea that like she would cheat on you. I guess it's like heartbreak your family's over. I don't know. Like what was always more painful for me was kind of what you're describing. And like, and I thank God, I haven't felt that in this relationship. And that's what I love about this relationship that I'm in right now. But like in past relationship, like if I was emotionally distant or whatever you said, like if I felt like there wasn't something there, every second that we were together felt excruciatingly painful. Yeah. So it was every second was that, mm, good. Ah, or whatever. That's where I was at. Yeah. And that, I don't know how people put

up with that. But my talents for that is like nothing. And I think that's when I knew like when I was dating, who is my now wife, I was like, oh, this is going to be the woman I'm going to marry because I love spending time with her and there was never that feeling of like, ugh. Where did you guys meet? DMs. No way. Oh, I didn't know that. Instagram? Wow, wow, wow, wow, why, why? You jumped in a DMs. She jumped in the DMs. Wow. She said, you funny? I don't know what she said, to be honest with you. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. She was like, yeah. How many years ago was that? This is, I don't know, years, years. Now, how do you just I think was who to respond back to on some, like, how they look in the pictures. But I'm talking about what?

I just look at their pictures. And then I'm like, oh, are they really hot? And then if they're really hot, I was smart. Yeah. What did you think I was going to do? I don't know. I didn't know. But you ended up marrying her.

That's different. Well, yeah, then she had a dope personality. And then we connected and everything worked out. It was beautiful. But initially, it's just, you know, you're going to look and see. I like that. Yeah. I always try to overthink things.

We do. Just like when you say, why you like? black woman. I'm like this, my dick gets hard. That's pretty much it. It's not just a fetish for you, though. You married a black woman. I like. I like everything about, like the culture. Yeah. I like everything about that goes with

it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I do. I like, I said to you, it's like, it's like being gay. Gay guys another gay. Why? They don't know. So you're just gay. You're black woman gay. No, I'm not. Yeah, I'm Black woman gay. I am Missy Elliott. No, man, it's very, I don't know, man, it's interesting. I don't ever want to be in that situation because you made me think when you said,

you don't love a person when the thought of them being with somebody else doesn't bother you. At all. So what about swingers? That's the thing. Like, that's why I'm saying. I think some of that is ego and then some of that is, or maybe that's just how you present your relationships. But, like, there are these swinger people that bond is there. They love each other so much.

And they're not attached to their, I guess, the sexual side. I can never do that shit. I can't do it either. I'm way too insecure for that. And what about the guys who... I don't even like when my girl laugh at other motherfuckers. You know what I mean? Yeah, right.

You know what I mean? Some motherfuckers are funny. Gay guys, sure. She laughing at this straight guy's joke that similar to my joke. Andrew's firing his openers. What's wrong? What's wrong? You show up to the show when I get on stage.

And how you sit down in the green room with me until I go, I need you chuckling at these motherfuckling at these motherfuckers. So what about guys who like to see their women get fucked by the guys? Cuck holds. There you go. I'm not in that world. I'm not in that world. I'm not in that world.

Oh. Will you enjoy watching another dude blow your girls back out basically? No, I'm not in that world. So I guess it's about your preference, I guess, or what you answer? I think those guys have some, like, trauma that they're probably dealing with. And, you know, they don't got enough dick. So being that they don't have enough dick, they don't mind bringing in somebody else to provide what they don't have.

Yeah, I think that. I think that my wife. Yeah, my wife doesn't need that. You know what I mean? Your wife, like, even if your wife was like, oh, I wish you had a little more dick, you'd be like, no, you don't. The nigger, please don't ever, I said,

nigga, I called you. Please don't ever, women, please don't ever tell your man no shit like that. God dang. I wish you had a little bit more dick. Can you think it's over? I'm getting a divorce. Yeah, that's true.

I don't want to hear that shit. There's nothing. I can never have a thing. That's exactly what she's going to say now. What? I told him you have enough dick. I thought my dick was shrinking. Did I tell you this?

No. I went to the doctor last week. What happened? Because I thought my dick was getting small. Talk to me. The floor is yours. No, I'm freaked out. No, I'm serious.

What happened? I didn't tell you this. I'm going to get ultrasound on my balls tomorrow. I thought my dick was getting smaller. Why? Because, I don't know, it was like sitting on my balls different. And then I was like, oh, maybe my balls are getting bigger. So I went to the doctor.

Ball's probably getting bigger with age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or with cancer or some shit. So I'm, like, freaking out. And I have a lot of, like, veins on one of my left testicles that I got checked out a while back or whatever. Anyway, I go and I'm like, and I'm asking him, like, you know, he's checking the balls or whatever like that. My doctor's gay, by the way. And so gay dude just roping up the balls.

You're like, you got nice balls. I'm just, I mean, say something. Don't be neutral. You know what I mean? Don't be quiet at a time like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm risking monkey pox for this. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? So I go, so I go, so I'm like, so I get the ball check and I'm like, you know, for that cancer or whatever. But then I ask him what I really want. I was like, I was like, yo, can I ask you a question? And he's like, yeah, this is what you do here. And I'm like, yo, can your dick get littler? And, and I'm, he's like, he's like, no. And I go, I go, I go, he goes, why do you think that?

I don't know. Like, I just my dick. And he goes, can I be honest with you? He goes, yeah, he goes, since the last. Last time you were here, you've gained 20 pounds, which was three years ago. Oh. So he goes, you're just getting fatter so you can see less of your time. That's what we talked about last week.

Did we talk about this last week? We were talking about how big if you 7 foot 3, 3.2. You might have an average size penis. But it doesn't look like that on your frame. So I'm looking into the mirror sucking in to see if my dick look like. No, for real. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm having the opposite problem.

Wait, really? Dicks getting big, yeah, but it's because I'm losing. That's a problem? No, I love it. Yeah. My wife loves it. She's actually said that. She said the opposite of what you said five minutes ago.

She's like, is your dick and bigger? She was like, I think your dick's getting longer. So it's like the confidence is like, yeah. But isn't that fucked up you get fat in every part of your body but your dick? I think it's fucked up that we can't have any surgery on our kids. Yeah, we can. Yeah, it ain't worth it. You can chop it off, dude.

No, I don't want that. But that is surgery on it. No, I'm talking about like they got this. That is weird. Cut your dick off. You're right to bobbit? Oh, you heard that, no, this guy. He got to reattest.

Yeah. This guy just cut his testicles off. He was having a dream that he was slicing meat. Oh, no. And so he said he woke up with him cutting his testicles. Oh, no. I think he's lying too, yo. And the reason I think he's lying is because, like, we've all peed in our sleep.

You've had that dream that we were peeing and we, you know, thought we was at the toilet. We peed in the bed. It's too much. You got to grab the knife. Yeah. Then cut yourself and feel the pain. You got caught, bro. I don't believe that.

Yeah, you got caught. That pain is something you definitely wake up to. Yeah. You don't just fall, like, keep, keep cutting. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, he's lying.

Damn, Gary. That is crazy, though. That Lorena Bobbeth's husband got her dick. Went his, his dick off. Cut his dick off. And then they just put it back on. threw it out the window. Yeah.

Out the window. The fuck, you cheated on me, bro. But then you just got to put it back on same size. Then you start getting into porn. That's the problem. You can. only get girf. You can't get no length.

You're not going to, like, I don't know, I'd be tight at the doctor. I'd be like, really? Like, because you got another chance at dick. What? You know what I mean? Like, you got another chance at whatever dick you want. Like, and then they just made it the same way. I didn't even, I just looked at you.

I didn't want to go, yeah. I was just like staring at Andrew like this. Are you really scared your wife going to say he didn't have another dick? Uh, she may eventually. Really? I don't think it's not true. But who says she can't say? This shit got to be the worst ever though, man,

to have something like just playing out in the public and it's your wife or your ex-wife. But it's one thing, too, like, it's like, she was never like that. She was never like posting a lot and on the attack. And then it just went, I go, what just happened? I think it was, you know, I, you say in the back of your brain, you're like, I got to be ready that when I say I want to divorce, people might come out of the woodwork. She could start checking up on people.

You know what I mean? Checking up on your past and everything. Because they never just think, oh, he was unhappy. It has to be a reason why I'm unhappy. By the way, that hurts though, man.

Just to say, I'm unhappy. I need more of a reason. You know, just mean you was unhappy. Like, what is that even? Everything.

Everything. Everything bothers you. And you feel like you're just, you're in a dark place, and you're like, I'm never getting out of this. How old are your kids? They're all over 18.

Which is important. You know? Uh-huh. My son's 21. My daughter's 20. Maybe that's a little bit of part of it. What's that? Like, the family is grown.

So you feel maybe less of responsibility to keep that thing together. Those family vacations are nice and, like, having that family unit. Oh, I definitely stayed in it because of the kids. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The last few years? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And now his kids won't talk to him.

Yeah. It's a year and a half. Nothing. Gary's hurting on the inside, bro. Well, the kids part hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if you're a debbie and you have no emotional attachment, it's different. But when you were like there, like you were, I was there.

And everybody, everybody knows it. Like, everybody in the business, they know I split town or I couldn't make this event and everything because, you know, so-and-so. So it was just like. And why are they so upset? I don't know. They're not talking to me. But I do know this. I know my dad didn't help the situation.

I talked about that. What did your dad do? Oh, my God. So I went to Saddam, I went to San Antonio, right? I went with this girl, MCM. At this point, this is June. You took her to a Monfi too? We separated in January, right?

That's crazy. That is wild, though. How many times did you and your wife go to Amalfi? Wow. But that's the thing. When you're out, listen, when you're out of the relationship, you don't want to go with that person. Like, I don't want to go on a long vacation with you. would drive me crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I give me an example when I knew, during COVID, right? I walk my dog every day, every day, dog. Same route, same route, right? She woke up a morning, she goes, I'm going to go, I'm going to wake up. I'm going to walk doggy tomorrow. I said, all right, five minutes for an argument. Walking a dog, I go, what the fuck?

You know what I mean? You're just like, she goes, you can't turn there. I go, I turn it because we lived in, we, we, the house was, behind his vineyard. So I was like, we always walk, we, I mean, And the dog, we always walk by the vineyard. But it says no trespassing, but nobody's there. It's COVID, right?

So I was like, we walk this route every day. Yeah. And now she's telling me I can't go this route. I'm going, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like, little things. So you're not trying to travel with your wife. Yeah.

That's why when you brought it up, I mean, your point's valid. Yeah. I just, there's no, I was getting on a plane that long and spend in a week. Yeah. It would drive me crazy. Yeah. That's got, I, what was the point of this? Like, we was getting at something.

You're saying you're done with black chicks. No, I did not. I say that. He's all in with black women. He won't let you walk the dog right? Remember I'm saying that? No, no. White girl knows how to walk a dog.

Oakland black chicks. I'm doing. White girls walk dogs the best. That's what you're saying. You're like, there's he a white woman with a dog. There was a point to this. Oh, my dad, my dad.

You're dad. Yeah, so my dad, he, uh, he, I went to a, long story short, I went to a Reds game.

Okay. And I got a suite because I'm avoiding a process server. So I was like, I can't sit in the stands. So I called, I called like seven, eight of my boys up. And I said, yo, me at the Reds game. I got a suite.

No pictures, no videos, no social media. Everybody was cool with it. I don't know. My dad found out I came in town when the Reds game. Left me a voicemail the next morning. I got the voice on my phone still. He goes, hey, it's your fucking dad. You don't respect me and shit.

I'm going, what's he mad about? He never says why he's mad. It sends me a long text, how I don't include him and stuff. The sense of entitlement is amazing. And you say your dad was a deadbeat. Never around. growing up. And then he's like, I'm like, he cusses me out and he leaves this long text.

So I called him. And then we got an argument over everything. And then he said some curse words to me. I cussed him out, hung up. The picture I took at the Grand Canyon and me and the girl that I sent to like four or five people in like a group chat, he sent that picture to my ex-wife. That's what you get for bragging though. How to get to him? Uh-huh.

How to get to him? I sent it to him. Flexing. No, no. I kept up. No. There was a close group. You could have been here if you weren't a deadbeat.

That's what you said to your dad. You could have been here if you wanted to get beat. I know he's mad about the Super Bowl. I know what I'm going to be. What was your caption with the picture in the group chat? Like moving on. No, no. But people was asking like they would ask like, you know, this is what he said.

You have the grand can't. This is that conversation. If I was here with you, I'd jump off this shit. No. No. The text. Gary probably put. Gary probably put another one.

Yesterday's price is not today's price. Yesterday's wife is not today's wife. Honestly, the conversation amongst me was like when he called me right when we got the Grand Canyon, he said, where you at? I said the Grand Canyon, who are you with? A friend of mine. Do I know him? I said, it's not a he. He said, oh shit.

He asked to see who I'm with. So I sent the pick. Right? He asked, so I sent it. So anyways, he sent that pick to my ex. Then he posted it on his Facebook page. Hate her, bro. With the middle finger emoji in front of it.

He hated her. Then he posted a picture of my ex-wife and was like, I got you back to this divorce. You've always been like a daughter to me. I'm like, he couldn't stand her. Like, they didn't get along like that. I was like he just hates you. Man. Why?

You're such a likable dude, man. Now, question, did your family know that you had moved on? Nobody knew. Nobody knew. So when you send that pictures to the group chat, they're looking like this guy. No, this is in June. Okay. The shit got announced in March.

Oh, got you, got you, got you. This is months after shit got announced. We haven't separated since January. Got you, got you. So this is six months later. Yeah. After I already said, I want it out. This ain't new.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, this ain't like I did this before the shit hit the fan. It's all after the shit hit the fan. Got you. My dad, I was just like this. You dirty motherfucker, man. Dirty. Damn, Gary.

You know, and then my openers, you know how you, in the road, You got to trust your openers, man. Wait, they? He fired all his openers. Dirty. All of them gone? All of them. How many did you have?

Two. Both gone. Why? One, still talking to her. I'm like, what? Why did they choose up with her? They didn't. They just like drama, especially the one.

So he came to, here's, he came to San Francisco. Yeah. And I was at Tommy T's over there. Shout Tommy Tee. And I had the new girlfriend with me. Looking back, Shindabroth. Shouldn't have brought her. I was supposed to meet up with my daughter, my son that weekend.

But they stay 45 minutes from San Francisco. I hired a driver for the weekend. And I said, yo, at any point, if they want to see me, I'm out. I got to go see him, right? So we plan on lunch. My freaking opener went and he's cool with my son. My son's 21. My opener's younger.

He went and told him all about, yeah, he's got the girlfriend in San Francisco right now. And then he started basically talking shit about me to my. kids. And then my daughter's like, I don't want to see you right now. I was like, what? And I said, why? And she said, you know why. And then she told me like, you're with that new girl and everything like that. I'm going, she'd call her girl. She could call her something else, but whatever. But I was just like this. I go, how did they find out? They tried to tell me the paparazzi got a picture of me and her walking out of the hotel. So I started doing the timeline together. I go, wait a moment. I landed on Friday I landed at SFO. I went straight to Tommy T's. Nobody. When we

went back to the hotel in San Francisco. Valet's full. I had to go park the car. We were never in the lobby together. And then Saturday morning, same thing. I went and got the car. She got in the car. Sarah knew my daughter texted me,

and they came up with this thing that the paparazzi got to picture me and her in a lobby. I go, we were never in a lobby together at one time. So it's all a lie. Like, he told them what happened? It was starting shit. Damn. So I was like this. I wanted to have loyalty to you, man.

That's weird. And I put a lot of money in his pocket over the years. How many years we ought to go? Like seven, eight. Oh, that might be a little resentment, my dude. There's entitlement and resentment. I don't know if he's entitled. I don't know if it's entitlement.

Like he was waiting on his shot to get you about it. That's what it seems like. Yeah, there's something going on. Because truth be told, his role should have been to just mind his business. Like, there's no reason to even choose the side. But you also, the thing was he was with my son. I wanted him to go that weekend because then my son, my son were going to row with me for a lot.

And he got really close with my opener at the time. And then they were friends. So I told him, I said, come to San Francisco, man. I said, just talk to him, find out where he's at. So I can see him. I hadn't seen him in a while. And that's why I thought, that's what I thought was going to happen in that weekend. I know it was going to go the other way.

I thought you're supposed to hype me up. You know, you're my dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, your dad was hurting. Just talk to him. That type of stuff. That's tricky, though, because now you're asking him a lie to his friend. Who?

The opener got a lie to his friend, which is your, son. I'm not saying to lie about anything. You're saying, omit. You're saying don't say I'm here with the other girl. He should have never brought it up. That's why you mind your business. He should have never brought up. He's saying, he's saying go in there and tell him. No, no, he should have not have told him that girl's with me. There's no, there's nothing going to come to that. That's right. Mind your business. What if, what if, now I'm playing devil's advocate here, but what if he was like, you know what, I'll come out to the shows with you. Who? What if your son said that? Yeah, she had to stay back. She can't go. She knew that. That's respectful. I told her. I said,

I want to see them, right? Her sister is in law school in San Francisco. So she, like, can I go? I want to see my sister. I thought it would be a good week. I said, yeah, I said, I told her up front, I said, look, at any point, if my kids want to see me, that's it.

Like, you got to, I'll get you another hotel room because if my daughter is someone to stay with me, I was like, you got to get another room. She was cool with everything. I was this new woman, I would leave you. You need to clean up your mess, bro. It does sound messy now to mention. I'm like, this is just messy.

Like, you are a housewife. You're a real housewife to Cincinnati, bro. Like, real house husbands? It sounds like that, but it really wasn't. Wasn't you on that show? Wasn't you on real husbands? No. Oh, they did a couple episodes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, they should have. Would you ever turn this into material? All of it. Once it's final, it can all get out there, but right now I can't, I can't talk about all of it. The process server is the funniest story. Just avoiding that. You know Gary was on the run.

Wait, why? Because the void a process server. Because I filed for divorce in Ohio. She filed in California after I filed. So whoever gets her first, that's where the divorce is. Chances are. So it's the laws are way more than the roses. Oh, shit.

The laws are way better in Ohio for divorce. No, no, I'll put this way. They're fair in Ohio. Right. Everybody knows California ain't fair. To the breadwinner, not the man, the breadwinner. Who got who first? We got her.

in Ohio. We got her. In Ohio. This guy is so crazy. I'm like this. We got her. We got it. Like this.

I told him on the air, I go, I had, I hired a, I hired a process of her. And then I hired 24-7 on the house. Eyes on it. So she left. We get, this, this chick would knock him out the house. Oh, my man. I'm talking, not coming. I was like this.

What? Still nothing? Still nothing? And then, you know, I started to ring camera. I'm attached to my phone. So I can see what's going on at the front door. Then that got taken off. I go, wait, she changed the password.

Now I didn't have the ring no more. So now I went, I don't think the process server is doing what I asked. Now that I didn't have proof. Yeah. And she sent me like this enormous bill. And I go, you're not getting paid unless she gets served. This is crazy. This shouldn't be this hard.

This is what you do for a living in a big city. So I hired a process server and private detective at Ohio. And we flew to Sacramento, drove over. We got her within an hour. We got her coming out of a grocery store. Then she ended up going to Panera bread and we got her served. For all the black women who thought that, you know, you wanted to go to the other side, he thought it was cooler over there.

He thought it was safer over there. You thought things were different over there. Ha! I'm like this. Like, he's not lying, though. We told you black men don't cheat. Sometimes you're in it too, like, you're in it and you're going, it's just what is going on right now?

I am following her on the highway in the backseat of a car. You have to be with her? This time I did because I hired this, this process. I think you did that for your own pleasure, guy. No, no, no, no, because I didn't trust. I'm getting this bill and I'm going, I know movement's better eye. And I know, I know how she moves. That's the ride along we need.

Will Packer, you are slipping. We need this. He didn't tell you the stories about avoiding the process of service on the road, bro. Kyle Rinald Springs. And then come to your shows? If they could, they could. They could. They could. They could serve you anywhere. I wouldn't fly in the cities I was performing in.

I had a show in Baltimore. I flew into Pittsburgh and drove. So why? I was in, I was in a, why would they just come to the comedy club? They couldn't get to me. I hired security to sit in the front and look like fans. And they would sit there front row. I said, anybody comes to stage, you tackle him.

That's right. I'm going to fuck. I act like the worst human being on the earth. Long before Chris Rocket Chappelle had security front row. So I had front row like every club ahead of time. Guy did it first. You're the soldier. I get to the club, hour and a half two hours for the show.

Go through a back, get back door. Like hotels, alias. Like, staying. I wouldn't leave the hotel. Tell them about the time you wore blackface to disguise yourself. Yeah, that was different. I'm just kidding. That was like this.

Yeah, that was different. But perfect example of my opener. Real quick, is it if they touch you with the papers? You have to take the papers. You have to take them from them. Like, they have to hand them to you and you have to grab them. Well, they throw them at you and you just go like that. Well, that's what happened in Colorado Springs.

Then my fucker said, and here's what's bad. I had this new guy that was a bulldog out of Pittsburgh. His name's T-Roeb. He wasn't let nothing happen. He's been grinding, hamming on the road. All of a sudden, he's on the road. with me. He's like this. He goes, yo, I ain't fucking this up. I said, nobody can touch me, dude. No fans, nothing. Somebody says, hi, keep him away. He was on it. He couldn't make this show in Colorado Springs.

I literally told him, I said, I think I might get served next week, dude. You're not with me. Dude, we get five minutes in Colorado Springs. I come out of the hotel, crossing over. First shows at seven, it's like 5.30, right? Crossing over early. This guy goes, hey, Gary. And I turned and The motherfucker was pulling papers out of his back pocket. And I was like, oh shit. Morse chest now, boys in the hood. I'm running. ACL wobbly.

Dude, no, yeah. Now, I wasn't fucked up then. You got to stop saying that. Rookie got shot, bro. No, but it wasn't. So I'm running. This dude started chasing me and ran right between my opener and road manager. They just looked at him.

I said, your only job was to stop him. I'm not asking him beating by help. Stop him. Canato? Is that legal? They can grab. You can grab anybody. I said, just grab them.

And if he did try to do anything, I got you, right? He walked right in between them. I look back and they're just staring and I'm running and he threw them at me. He threw the papers. He winged it. And I went and it didn't touch me. And then he goes, I'm right. And I look down as there.

I look back at my open. I go, don't fucking touch that. Because if he touches it, I'm served. If he picks it up, I'm served because he's with me. So you fired your road manager too? All of them. God, dang. You got one job, bro.

Wow. Don't know anybody anywhere. So we get in the dress room now And now reality's kicking in like Oh fuck I'm gonna got Serbs And now I'm hot right And he tried to say he served me But he didn't because they had videos in the alley

Yeah And pictures and he didn't serve me That was close That is amazing bro So how'd you get your wife then Why'd she take the papers? We got her and well I don't know

You're so caught off guard Like I've been served before for other things But never for a divorce Where I had so much riding on it but we just got her like at a Panera bread drive-thru. She went to go get something to eat. Oh, you handed it with the food? No, no, no, no.

She was at the drive-thru, and she got boxed in between two cars. Uh-huh. And the process server just knocked. It wasn't like all bad. It was just she knocked. Yeah. She rolled in the window and she went, you're served. And she signed it and everything.

I think she was in shop. I think she was in shock. Like, whoa, this is happening. And then we left. And maybe that's why your kids are upset that you guys are going back forth for that. No, they're mad. They're mad over.

I'm seeing a new girl. They're mad about that. But they got to understand that now that you guys aren't together that you're going to have other. But you don't know what, you don't know what, what their brains getting filled with at the house. I don't either.

They're not talking to me. So maybe she's. That's the woman who broke up the family as far as they're concerned. And that's not the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was out. Right. Before that.

You know, we've been together 20 years. I left three different times. Just nobody knew. Oh, really? Like, I left numerous times during the marriage and just, like, came back and try to, and I didn't want to be a weekend dad. Yeah. Probably stayed in it because of the kids. Yeah.

But as far as the, if you're asking, the passion, years. Yeah. Years it's been gone. And you guys tried therapy before? We did. Yeah, but at this point, we're just spinning wheels. We're just wasted money. How long it took you to cheat?

It's not what we're talking about here. True, true. It's not. I got told him. That's another good question. No good marriage ever. end it because of cheating. That was a bar.

When you get the cheating, when you get the cheating, it's over with. It was over with before that. Yeah, because if you feel like it's something still there, like you still love this person, you still want to be with this person. Whether you're a man or woman, you'll forgive it. Like a man will forgive a woman if he really loved that

woman. A woman will forgive a man if she really loved that man. You know what I mean? Like cheating, I don't think cheating is usually the deal breaker. I can't do that. Depends. At this point, I wouldn't. She's, like, laughing at somebody else's joke, I would, I would forget. Yeah.

I'll forget that. Busting it open for another motherfucker at all. Yeah, that's too much, right? At our age, you know what I mean? Because I would be thinking, like, how Gary said, like, if you're doing this at this age, that means something is not connecting with us on a different level. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, like, it can't just be you wanted to go get some other thing. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told her when I called her to tell her about the divorce, everything, I was just like, I want you to be happy. I said, I think we'll be better people because of this. I know it sounds crazy. I said, I'll be a better dad. I'll be a better friend to you because right now, and one day maybe she'll admit it, but there's no way she was happy. There's just no way.

I was miserable. For how long? Well, maybe you're telling yourself that, gag, and you said earlier, well, if I'm miserable, and I know I'm not giving you what you need. in any kind of way, physically, emotionally, nothing. But what if her joy was making you miserable? How about that? That's a good point. That's a good point.

That's a good point. Also, too, when you say you was miserable, but she was happy, a lot of times because ignorance is bliss. If she didn't know you were unhappy and you was just going along with emotions playing along, she don't know that you unhappy. So she's like, oh, I got a great marriage until you say otherwise. That can be valid. But it's also when she's telling you what she needs from you.

Yeah. And you can't give it to her. Yeah, that's always. No, you made the right decision because you're unhappy. I think it's why that you waited until the bingo started winning to do this. Dude, if I don't know that, I left a long time ago. If I would have known, we're going on a Super Bowl years ago. We'd have, Tom Brady would have two rings.

Oh, my God. I'm like, as soon as I leave, they go, I was like, what are the chances? Are you shat me right now? It helped my healing process so much. To be a dire Bigel's fan and your world's crumbling and also more winning, I go, What? It might have hurt your feelings, though, if they were to won, though, because they got a ring, you lost yours.

You know what I mean? No, no. My stress level, because I was row one at the Super Bowl, was I've always said, I'm going to get on stage because Kev didn't. Yeah, yeah. I always said, I'm going to get on that fucking stage. So my stress, I was like, shit, if we win, I got to get arrested. I'm getting on the stage.

I'm getting arrested. Yeah. I was like, oh, God. How are you going to get on? I had a little, I had a little plan with the coach. Like, me and Zach's cool. So we had a little something. I think he was going to allow me to come up if I made it that far.

Yeah. I said, yo, man, I always said like kid. He goes, he goes, he goes, what works up, Mel? If that happens? You got to be the biggest Bengal fan I know outside of like, if he would. Any other Bengals fan. Dude, this season was amazing. We're so good now.

Got the quarterback. I don't know how y'all going to be next year. This year? Like in two weeks? I think they might figure out Joe Burrow. Yeah, yeah. They're not going to figure out Joe Burrow's figuring the NFL out. I think he'll be good.

I think he'll be good in his third year. I think he might have a... This is his third year. I thought it was a second. No, it's a third year. Oh, yeah. That's what a fan I am. He blows his knee out.

I blow my knee out. That's why I did it. How many times you do me out, Gary? Three times. Really? The last, yeah, but it was 20-some years ago when it happened last time. Doing what? Well, the first time we just pick up basketball in the Navy.

Okay. This last one shooting this movie with Kevin, Tiffany, uh, Wesley Snipes in it. It's the Chris Spencer one, back on the strip. It's not out yet. Oh, okay, okay. We're playing strippers. We're getting a band back together. Really?

I got a little overzealous. I jumped on stage and my shit buckled. I went, oh, fuck. What? Is that how? That's how it happened. You're playing a just like a comedic magic mic? Oh, yeah.

Phazon Love, Bill Bellamy, J.B. Smooth. And they all scriptless? Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Okay. I trust Chris, though. I trust Chris.

Well, we're getting the band back together. It's 25 years later. Got you got it. Oh, you guys used to strip when you're young. used the strip and now we're older and we're getting to bam back together. Did they have younger versions of y'all? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

All the younger version? I was like, okay. Okay. I like what you did there. Was it CGI or did they wouldn't got somebody else? No, CGI. Oh, so they're your face with a different body? No, no, you don't see us for 25 years ago.

Just the poster. Oh, yeah, yeah. They got younger face of us. They see the bodies on the poster, you know, because like Phazon's tank. Yeah. He was like that Brandon Jacobs build. What's your script name? Dr. X.

Dr. X. Why? Because I was a surgeon in the movie. I'm a surgeon. Okay. And I was stripping and get through medical school. So I always had a mask on. So I had spray tan, but nobody knew I was black in the movie.

So then I had to get in makeup every day. Nobody knew you were white. Yeah, nobody knew I was white in the movie because I was, I'm sorry. Christ, Gary. Sorry, man. We forgot. I got a lot going on. That lot going on.

So they had to, it was, this is a true story. First day, they're trying to spray my body, right? Because I got a mask on. And I was like, literally, I'm looking at out. I go, it's too dark. But how you say that to a makeup? So it's going to look like blackface? Yeah, I was like this.

Look, man, I don't want to be this black. Gary, you know they're coming at you. You know they're going to say you was wearing blackface, Gary. So, well, yeah. Wesley Snipes walked in the dress room. He goes, that's too dark. I go, if Wesley Snipes says I'm too dark, I'm too freaking dark. For real.

I was like this. So they, I'm a more of Shamar Moore shade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's still black face. They'll still say it's black face. Black face, black body. But Robert Donnie Jr. was like that in Topic Thunder. They've screened it.

And Chris said, no backlash. But you know what is it to me? They ain't screen it for Twitter. Well, Twitter don't count. Shit. But it's our face. You know what? You can do body.

Those bodybuilders do that shit all the time. They'll say black body. I can see it now. But the bodybuilders do it. That's going to be the funniest headline. Gary Owens and Q's doing black body in New Christmas. And we're like, what is wondering how long was he going to take before he called you Gary Owens? And we are, I think, maybe 45 minutes.

What I say? Gary Owens. Oh, it's Owen, yeah, it is Owen. No, but you did it perfect. You did it perfect until about 45 minutes. Because I saw something recently about that. Somebody, I don't know if you corrected somebody or somebody said, stop calling them Owens. I always correct you, but I do it like laughing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's Owen to S. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what's named my next special, baby. They're probably the name of next special. Owen O. O.S? I like Dr. X.

That's my stripper name in the movie. I know. I just think that's a good one for the-Gary Owen, bro. Gary X. I like Eric Because now you're an ex-husband Oh my gosh You don't think so

I was like he owes his wife Like you go to be Owen Like Gary Gary B. Owen Gary B. Owen Gary B-Oye Oh I like that What's your middle name?

Stephen Or we'll just go Gary S Owen Sheet Gary Shit Owen what What?

What are the rules In Ohio? I don't We're going to mediation But I know it's fair It's not it's not 50-fitting For the rest of your life Yeah

You know what I mean? She deserves 50-50, though. What, how would, no, if you knew, if you knew the whole story, if you knew the whole story. 50? She always, bro. I'll tell you, I can tell you off-air everything, but I'm not going to air dirty line like that. No, I don't want to know. Can you?

He's not going to tell me nothing off air. Don't call, I don't need to be in court for nothing. It's not a witness. I don't want to know, Gary. Okay, I just think she deserves 50 for the time. Yeah, she probably deserves. For the time, bro. She probably deserve.

For the time, bro. That's true. That's true. That's true. If you knew, if you motherfucking knew. Hold on. Taylor yelled out. It's a black queen still.

If you only knew what that black queen pulled me. If you knew what the fuck going on right now, what's really going on? Yeah. Well, wait. Take that shit back. Did you think royalty only does like good things? Have you followed history at all? Game of Thrones.

Shut the fuck up, seriously. The royals do fucked up shit. Yeah, right? Oh, man. If you knew, if you really fucking knew the reason. The reason. He still deserves half for time. Yeah.

Not half for the rest of your life. If you fucking knew the reason, bro. You don't want to know, but if you knew, you would change your tune so goddamn fast right now. Can you say it? Then we just cut it out the pod? No, I don't trust you guys to cut it out. No, we would never put it in a deal off. We wouldn't do that, but don't do that guy.

I'd rather you just tell us off there. No, I don't want to know. Never mind. But even if you knew, it's not like, it's not like, um. Damn, that's how I sounded. She beat you up, man? No. She caught you?

If you guys did the real reason why this is happening, and it's frustrating because I can't tell people the real reason, because I don't want to throw under the bus. But why I left and everything, it's a lot. Really? It's a lot of shit that I found out about, and I went like this. Damn. What?

What? And now I'm digging, I'm getting, I'm cleaning up all these messes. and I'm getting dragged and I'm cleaning all this shit up and not saying a word but I'm cleaning it up but you're kind of tired I'm tired as fuck bro

if you fucking do and even the kids that's why I want to get that one don't do it again it's not worth it no but my thing is to tell the kids what's really going on

because it's not scandalous it's just irresponsibility is what's happening but I was just like if I could just tell them be like this is what's going on well tell them when you get an opportunity to have a nice family

conversation you know what I mean I will I don't like to see all of this playing out publicly. I don't because, you know, I don't know who to believe. I don't care to believe anyone. I just, you know, wish it didn't, just didn't play out publicly. You know what's so interesting about the internet, man, is like, I'm aware because I follow you. I only know your side of everything. I know your life. I know what's going on with you. And that's what the

internet does. It, like, divides us into these little bubbles. So I know that you had a great vacation in Italy. I know that you tore your ACL. I know that you're loving what's happening with the bangles. Like from my side, I'm like floored by this podcast so far because from my side, I understood that you're going through a divorce, but I didn't realize that it was this crazy. I thought you were moving on with your life and things are going well and your football team working now. Trying to move on. Literally that's just all I know because I'm following your page. You follow him, but you know what you're- But I'm not following the pages that are covering this, your wife and all these other things are going. Really in a situation like this,

but maybe they're-Garry and Kenya is the only people you should listen to. When we start getting, when she starts getting muddy is when everybody else start chiming in because they don't know what's happening. So now, motherfuckers get on line and start making up shit. Because I told him, I said, it was funny when he's on the air. And I said, yeah, if I hear she left that dusty white devil one more time. And I go, and I'm sitting there going like this, she didn't. But what did she? I left. Let her, let her get that win. Doesn't it matter who left though? That's kind of egotistical, Gary. That is ego. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. It is. But it's also like, um,

I took all the L's for the longest, just going, just being quiet. You know, but where it's at now is like, kids aren't talking to me. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm like this. So I'm just trying to like give it. And I still, even on this podcast, they said a bad word about her. Yeah. Never, never.

I've never called her out her name. I can honestly say that. I have never, even if we got in arguments, I never called her out her name. Now one time, will she ever say I called her anything other than Kenya? I told you on the reference book. Oh, called her out her name. That means they called her like a bad word. Yeah.

Never. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah, until she dropped that N-word tape. Yo. Yeah. I'm nervous.

I'm nervous. Is that affection? Hey, yo, if she just tweets that, if you think Joe Rogan's N-word tape was crazy. Wait until you can't carry old. Wow. It was harping in the movie, think like a man. There was all them.

It might not be an S-and-o-in, but it's an N. He said it with the A. Hey man, I wish y'all the best. I really, really, really truly do. I hate seeing this shit play out like this, man. I guess what I was saying. It's entertaining, though. I was saying that.

Say what? It's entertaining, though. For the people, yeah. Yeah. I guess what I'm saying is that there are a lot of people out there that don't know that this is going on. So that's also kind of cool. I know when you're like consuming internet content, you think that's the only thing that's happening in your world and everybody in the world knows about it.

Yes. But there's also people out there like me that are just seeing you move on and be successful. and do these really cool things, and you've been this lifelong Bengals fan. I remember having a moment when I saw the Bengals in Super Bowl and I was like, oh shit, Gary's probably so fucking happy right now.

Yeah. And think about how close I am to you. Like, we operate in stand-up. We operate in entertainment. So there's also a lot of people out there that know this part of Gary. Yeah. You know what I mean?

When it's overwhelming, it feels like the whole world's calling you Dusty White Devil, just know there's other people out there that are not. Well, that's what it helped because, you know, I was when I was born a process server, I literally was locked. in hotel rooms and Airbnb's and wasn't going out.

And the only thing I got is my laptop. So I'm just, I'm just re-consuming all the fucks. All of it. I'm going, you know, then they're like, are they going to turn on them? And then I, when I got back on the road and I went to Baltimore and we were sold out all weekend, I go, oh, okay, we're good. Nobody turned on me. Then when I walked on stage, everybody's clapping like nothing wrong.

And even out in public, like, nobody's ever stopped me and just went, dusty white devil. Yeah. You know what I get more than anything? Everybody gets this. Hey man, it gets better, been through it. Yeah.

And then the people that called me in our line of work, just for support. Yeah. I'm not going to say who, but I told him on the air, I said, some dude called and just said, hey man,

this is before anybody got served. He goes, whether it's California, Ohio, no matter what happens, he goes, your talent won't allow you to go broke. Just know that.

But even if you lose half, you'll be fine. You get it back. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Why do you keep saying that?

And why are you looking at me so disappointed? Because she is. I told you, I told you, black women are looking at guy. Like, I was just thinking about going with a white guy.

Yo. Now. Wow. I'm talking. So you did something for the black community right here. I did a lot. Keeping us together. Yeah.

That's right. You've done more than Dr. Umar Johnson when you really think about it. Way more. And you're not going to catch me at the mall hollering at a chick. Dr. Um, Dr.

Um, look, you're not going to catch me at the ball. Um, I got a class about this. Didn't he get caught them all, like flirting with some chick? That was just a woman talking. He did a 23 of me and her. That was a, that was like in the Malcolm X movie when the woman was coming up to

Malcolm X and asking, what can she do? Nothing. That's right. That's the Dr. Um, I told her there's nothing you can do. Well, that's right. Stay away from my brothers. Yeah, yeah.

There is something you can do. Yeah, there's all. There's all. Some on the side. It's funny, though, that you went down that rabbit hole with the internet because I would never do that to myself. What? I would never listen to what these motherfuckers got to say,

Yo, the internet is the funniest place in the world because they swear they know what they're talking about and they say these things with such confidence online. But it's interesting too because it didn't like, it wasn't like I was reading it going like this. Oh, man, everybody hates me. I was reading it like, God, you guys really don't know what's going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You really don't know. Oh, that's the most frustrating. You know? That's the most frustrating, at least for me, it's like when I'm being misrepresented. So like with you're being misrepresented and hated based on the misrepresentation, that's when it's hard to be silent.

But how about this? And being a comedian, you know this. It's like the people on the internet that are upset, they were never going to come to see me anyways. I worry about the people that pay to see tickets. Yeah. And pay tickets to see me and stuff like that. Yeah.

And I told him, I go, the best thing that's happened through all this is, you know, I'm not talking to my kids and all what's going on. My oldest, my stepson, who I raised, basically, his aunts came to my show in Sacramento a couple weeks ago. And I thought they were about to go in on. I go, oh, shit. So when they came to the meet and greet, I go, why do they come up? And they come up.

And the first time I said, I go, do you guys hate me? And they's like, no, you took care of our Emilio. We'll never hate you. Yeah. I was like this. Oh, yeah, I did raise a kid that wasn't mine. Yeah. That was hers.

Yeah. And he's doing great in life right now. Yeah. His own house. Again, I got a girlfriend just doing life. Is he still talking to you? Mm-mm. God.

Damn. But that's his mom. Yeah. That's his mom. He's not going to come around to the mom comes around, you know? My thing is like her dad... She will come around. I hope because her dad died.

Her dad got murdered when she was six. My dad wasn't around and my stepdad wasn't a good person. So you know, you know what it's like to deal with not having a dad around. And now you got somebody that is around and to throw the word deadbeat out. Like I'm like, there's so many women out there that have Debbie dads. That kids have Debbie dads. And that's what. wasn't me to throw me out like that. I was like this. Now, you know that's not true. Everything

else we can talk about. That's not true. Damn. You know what I mean? Especially with kids that don't have dads. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was there. Yeah. I was there. What about Latinas? How do you feel about Latina? Which version? Like from what country? Puerto Rican. Yeah, we could do that. We could go Caribbean. Mexican. Yeah. Florida Cubans. Florida and you don't like Florida. You think all the crazy people come from. They do. I love Florida. But all the craziest people of America come from the Bronx and all of Florida. See, I don't know the Bronx.

Oh. I know Florida. Put it like this. In the Bronx, you see the dude dragging the casket? Just for no reason. He was dragging a casket in the middle of the street. And it was a guy. The funniest part of the video was a guy was walking with him while he's dragging the casket.

And the guy's like trying to stop traffic so he can get through. I'm like, help him with the fucking casket. That's the type of shit that happens in the. Bronx. What was he dragging it for? I have no idea. Someone don't need it in the Bronx. Somebody definitely going to need it. Yeah. Let's pay some bills, man. You want to talk Blue Choo?

Let's do it. What's up, everybody? This episode has been brought to you by Blue Choo. Okay? Best boners in the business. Let's say, for example, you're in your 40s, newly single. You've got a hot young chick. You're taking around the world.

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Okay? And you get your first month free. Just pay that $5 shipping. Go out there. Get that. What else we got, Charlotte? Does it make you congest it? Say what?

Does it make it? If actually relute, you know, just there's nothing left. That comes out to. You need it, bro. you need it, Gary. You got a new, you got a new boo. You're going to have to, you know, show her that it wasn't the dick that caused problems in your marriage. I'm serious.

You're going to have to show her, bro. You know what I mean? I'm serious. You don't know if she used to dating white guys or not. You got to dispel all myths. True. What was it again? Blue chew.

Yeah, yeah. What is it again? Is it lower case? Provo-Cook? This is a church announcement. Show what you got, church announcements wise? I just want to say thank you so much. Everybody supported the special, man.

We just finished selling it. I bought it. Thank you. You were great, man. You always promote. You always show love, man. Thank you so much. So, yeah, man, thank you guys so much for that.

That was absolutely fucking incredible. And, yeah, life-changing. Absolutely like things. Yeah. It's probably going to come up in the divorce. What's that? You bought the special? So you just, you're buying other people's specials?

I'm like this. It's my friend. It's a $15. $15 a trick off on this website. I'm like this. Shit. Oh, my God. So thank you everybody.

Thank you so much. And if you can't, like if you didn't buy it, fucking pirate it. It's available. You know, people put them up on them pirating sites so you can go do that.

And then eventually I'll have it up on YouTube. So if you don't figure out the pirating shit, we'll get it up there on YouTube one of these days. Mine is simple. Make sure you go get some of it. That's our latest Audible original for me and Kevin Hart's company, SBAH Productions at Audible. Make sure you go grab that. Thank you to everybody that's been getting it.

Make sure you scream, hell of a week. My late night talk show, Gary Owen was on the last episode, along with Flame Monroe and Chi Jose and Issa Ray. They was on the last episode. So make sure you scream that on Paramount Plus. And we're going to be off for two weeks. So I already know that's going to make Reddit say that the show's been canceled. But we're on hiatus for the next two weeks because. We're on the same schedule as the Daily Show.

So Trevor's taking it off for two weeks. We're off for two weeks. So we'll be back in a couple weeks with a new episode of hell of a week. Same time Thursday night, 1130 on Comedy Central. Gary, what do you got? I said too much already. But I know you got some shows coming up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, this weekend I'm in Cincinnati. Oh, you're home. Ohio. You home. Next week I'm in San Diego. Oh, this Thursday I'm in Houston at the Twitter. Toyota Center with 50 cent.

Oh, Tycoon weekend. Tycoon weekend. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you and Joseph Sikora got to get a picture together. I'm sure he'll be identical to be. Oh, he better not show his motherfucking face.

Man, what if your wife ends up with him, bro? Joe, this guy is crazy. What, man? I'm just saying. Joseph, don't show your motherfucker face, bro. What? This guy is. Absolutely.

What was that old joke you had shows? It's like, well, you're not cheating. It's a tribute. It's a tribute. You cheat with somebody that look like your ex, bro. That's a tribute. You imagine. You imagine

like this. Oh, guess the dick wasn't that bad. You got somebody looks just like it. She don't know if you got the same dick. Huh? You don't know if you got the same dick. Yeah. She's a face.

She likes the face. Yeah. It's all not the face. I don't think that's going to come up. Hopefully not. Wait, so when you're with 50 cents, you open his show? Dude, this show's like, it's comedy of music.

So it's going to be like, how is that? They're going to do the first half. comedy and you know sometimes they'll do intermission the intermission is going to be the musician not intermission but it's going to be like four music acts and then we then we're coming back with like four comics after the music so is everybody seated at least yeah it's the Toyota Center okay so it's like R&B it ain't rappers well flow writer is only rapper but he's going up after the and then they'll then they'll be doing the singers after the comp comedians are done so it's like

comedy some music comedy the music and how long show starts at 8. We've got to be out of the building about 1130. Oh, wow. We'll see if it starts on time. But that's the thing. Because, I mean, you know, you got to be out the building. When they say you got to be out the building, it means, like every minute, it's thousands of fucking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always do that when I'm on the ensemble tours, you know what I mean? It's always the best because when I'm with Epps, I'm usually going up right for mic. And literally, if it's running long, they're looking at gear, I go, yeah, I can do 15. Whatever you know. I'm not that. I need my 30 minutes. like this. Yeah, yeah, 15? No problem.

You still get the same page. Same check. I literally look at it like this. They always go to me because they know I ain't arguing. I'm like, how long? 12? Got it. And literally, I'll be like this. So then I'll be in the middle of a bit. You're like in the middle of a bit. You're going to get to your closer. I don't even need to. If you're funny for the whole duration, it's not like they're going to be like, what just happened?

Most comics, that's the problem. They go long because they want to get that last big boom. Yeah. No, just tell me you appreciate them coming out. That's it. That's it. Is it weird following music? I'll tell you Friday. Oh, you never done it before?

Not like this. Not like this. I've done shows like, you know, where they've had R&B and comedians, but usually you're hosting. And you have a set for that specifically because it's such a different environment. Like, people are staying and they're talking. I'll figure it out. Really? Good thing I'm not going first.

Yeah. And I'm going the second half of the show. So I'll see what the vibe is. You just kind of figure it out. A lot of shows like that. I'll just go local. Yeah. Houston stuff.

Like Houston radio commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got some funny ones. Yeah. Think like the neighborhoods. Yeah. I don't, we're not doing that long. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I'm scheduled for 15. Perfect. By the time we're running late, which we're going to run late. Yeah. Six. Let's talk about, I want to talk about two more. Well, I want to talk about one more thing and then I want to do asking idiots because me and Gary both got a flight to catch.

Oh, shit. I saw this. I saw this this morning, well last night, and we talked about it this morning, and it's this great documentary on Vice. And you should absolutely watch it. It's only 17 minutes on YouTube,

and the name of the documentary is how robbers use Snapchat to set up social media influences. And they interviewed the guy who helped orchestrate the robbery of Kim Kardashian. Mind you, he's like 70-something years old. He said that he has no remorse for the incident because Kim Kardashian should be a little less showy.

and he said that these people are insensitive to those who don't have money and so he has no remorse he was like yo I see them on television and they're throwing jewelry and stuff away we'll come collect it say what you want to say he has a point

and you would be a fool to not take heed to what a robber is saying yeah I think there's a lot of people that would agree with him you think the majority of people would probably agree with him I mean, if you go to like, well, I was in Morocco, right? I saw something really interesting when I was Morocco.

The wealth is all inside. So the outside of the building looks pedestrian, right? Yeah. You could even argue it looks poor. Sometimes I'll have like a beautiful door or something like that. But all the wealth is in these like Riyadhs on the inside. Stunning. You opened it up beautiful.

There's like a fucking roof, but everything is inside because motherfuckers know that people are starving on the street. That's right. And if you're just holding all your wealth, you've got these big windows. That's right. You're basically going, hey, it's in here if you got the ball. to take it. Yo, there's this dude on the documentary and he's got like a mask on and shit because he doesn't and his voice is like kind of, they distorted it.

He goes, it makes my dick hard to take these people's jury off. He makes my dick hard when I, when I script them of this, their clothes, not their clothes, but their jewelry and their material items. I was like, God, damn. Are they not in prison? No, he did two years. That's it? He did two years, bro. He's 72.

He did two years and he came home. But that's worth it, no? Two years to rob millions of dollars? He got off like $10 million in jewelry. All I'm simply saying is if you're on, if you're going to flash your shit on social media, at least have security when you're out and about. I don't understand people who show off, like, things that they bought people in their family because now you're making your family a target. And they don't got security like you do.

I don't want nobody to know, like, no disrespect. I saw Tyrese buy his daughter a car. I don't want anybody know what my daughter driving. I don't want anybody know what my woman driving. You know what I'm saying? Like I just feel like. much value in the flex now. Is it? Well, there's value in the flex now

because you think it's safe to flex. But once people feel like their safety is in question then those, that flexing. Well, then you got the on the other side, you got the, with the Andrew Tate dude. Yeah. Yeah. He's flexing and that's what's getting them all the followers and his money and stuff. But he's flexing muscles. Like, he's working out and shit. He flexing.

He has some Bugatti and shit. Well, you're on you're up. It's just, people like that is just when they catch you. Yeah. Like, you're, I don't know if it's the Bugatti's and shit that's really making him pop off. As much as it is the philosophy. I never even heard. I never heard of him until I did Logan Paul's podcast.

Oh, when did you do Logan's? A couple weeks ago. I flew back, where I was at? I think I was in Miami. When I flew back from Miami, they were in New York and I went and did it. Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know this.

Why don't you tell me? With Logan and George and Mike Maylack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love those guys. Yeah, those guys. When is that coming out? I have no idea. I don't know.

How long ago was this? Like a week? Maybe, yeah, yeah, a week or two. a week or two ago. But they asked me about dude. I'm like, I have no idea who that is. Yeah. That was the first time I ever even heard his name.

I didn't know until the Paul fight fell apart. Really? So this is a perfect example of like people operating different spheres. He was the most Googled person on the internet, more than Kim Kardashian. Really? So the most searched person in the world. Last week. It was like last week or maybe two weeks ago or something like that.

Well, that's probably why he ended up on so many people's radar recently because of this What, he got banned from Twitter. Then he got banned from Instagram, Facebook. But the point that I'm trying to say here is that, like, he's, like, out of your guy's bubble. And he was dominating our bubble. And just as I didn't know that you were going through these marital trauma, but you were, like, completely aware of it. You know all the fucked up shit that he's going through. That's what happens now with the internet.

Yes. Is that your world, you think is the world. Yes. And it's not. Andrew Tate, I thought it was dominating everything. You guys are going, I didn't know that motherfucker. was until recently. I saw somebody on Reddit.

I went on Reddit last night. Funny, Reddit is hilarious. Reddit is the most hilarious. I haven't been on Reddit in so long, but I went on Reddit last night. Reddit is hilarious because these people on Reddit really talk like they know what's going on. And somebody on Reddit said,

yeah, Charlemagne needs academics on this show, not Don Lemon. You should get academics on that. I would love to have ACR on the panel or something like that, but my point is it's Don Lemon. Don may not be nothing

in your world, but in the world, I don't even want to say the world world, but in the world world, it's Don fucking Lemon. I don't think you need Don Lemon, bro. Hey, you need Dr. Hummer. You say that, but then guess what? When I had Don on hell of a week,

you know, he went, it went viral for some things he said about CNN and about how, you know, if he's not able to speak truth to power, we can insert this, if he's not able to speak truth to power, he'd walk away. Yes, I will be able to do what I do on CNN. And if I'm not allowed to be able to tell, which is to tell the truth. So if I'm not allowed to do that,

then I will go on and do it somewhere else. I don't think that that's exactly what- You'd be willing to walk if they stifled you like that? I don't mean just CNN. If people don't allow journalists to be journalists, because, again, we hold the powerful accountable. We question heads of state, the leader of the free world, kings, queens, dictators.

That is what our jobs are. So that was a headline. Like that was Fox News headline, all the news sites. And then it resurfaced again yesterday because of all the cuts that Chris Litt made at CNN. Sue to my guy, Chris Litt. Chris was executive producer on my talk show last season, but now he's president to CNN, so of course he can't do it. But like, that's the, everybody has an audience is what I'm saying. And everybody's audience is different.

You can't discount any of it. Just because I don't know who Andrew Tate is, that don't mean millions of people don't. Right. You know, just because you might not give a fuck about Don Lemon. Millions of people do. Like, did you ask, did you ask Don Lemon about that monkey pox? No, I didn't get to that. Why not?

I didn't get to the pox. So, Gary, listen. Yo, why not just ask about the monkey? Yo, who's going to be the Tom Hanks or monkey pox? Who's going to be like the first straight guy that comes out and says they got it? It's not enough people getting it. Son, every gay dude got it. Not really.

Yo, you got to talk to more gay dudes, bro. It's like 20-something thousand people in the world. It might be 30,000 people in the world now, bro. Well, now all the gay dudes are vaccinated. It's more people supposedly getting into heaven than it is goddamn that got monkeypox. There's 144,000 folks to get into heaven. I'm just saying, bro. That's the shit you can show off on social media.

Nobody going to rob you for it. What? Show the bunks all day. Word up. I don't got monkeypox. Not until fucking Tom Hanks comes out with it. I don't got no money. I got COVID again.

Go to asking idiots, Taylor. Until someone else straight comes out of monkeypox. Okay. let's stop and pay this ad, and then we'll come back and do asking idiots. Salute the Ridge wallet. We appreciate you for sponsoring this episode of The Brilliant Idiots. The Ridge wallet holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash. There's over 30 colors and styles, including the Hennessy Performance,

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To get your Ridge wallet and to enter for a chance to win a Ford Bronco, go to Ridge.com slash idiots, use coupon code idiots to enter. Now let's do some asking idiots, Taylor.

Dennis got a mind of business, bro. Dennis is getting in the way of progress, man. The U.S. is already working things out with Russia behind the scenes. It'll happen. Only thing Dennis can do is complicate the situation because Russia's not letting Britney Griner go for free, bro. Of course not.

It's not happening. Okay? Bax. What is your feeling on how do you feel about Britney Griner? Here's my thing. Really? She might be having a ball in that prison. She's Queen B.

They're serving her all kinds of Russian dishes. I believe that. I believe that, though. I believe that. Oh, yeah. Come on. Like, it's bad, but it ain't that. Let's think about it.

But also, you have to know when you leave the country, you just got to know the rules of the country you're in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I went to Dubai before Dubai got popping. Yeah. And it was during Ramadan. And I was asking, I had a guy show me where I was doing shows on military bases, right? I was like, what do it?

He goes, no, we don't do anything. We don't eat until this and this. I go, oh, I was going to stay in my room. He said, yeah, you should. So I didn't go out on my hotel until it was. It was safe to go out, to everybody else was out. I didn't want to be. I didn't know what was disrespectful.

Went through the mall. I was like, you see girls. I didn't know if I could look at them. Say hi, flirt. No. Yeah. I just like, like, is it hard doing comedy over there? I was on a military base, though.

Oh, so you're talking to America. Okay, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, it was cool. It was called Tent City. So the, the Shippapapu Inn and they literally on this base, they had these tents. And all the tents had like,

it was like a Burger King tent, or Wendy's tent. Or like a gap tent, H&M tent. So it was all these, it wasn't a lot in it, but it was enough. They had food? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like Wendy's would have like you could get hamburger, cheeseburger, same with Burger.

It wasn't a lot of options. But it still was Wendy's food. I didn't eat it, but I'm saying it was Tent City. Because I performed at like three in the morning because the Super Bowl was on. It was the Giants and Ravens Super Bowl. Wow. So I went up before the game and then I came out on halftime and did some little games for the military guys and stuff. It was cool.

It's cool experience. Let's do some asking idiots. All these questions are for Gary. Gary, first question, what are you doing for the Black Lives Matter movement? Nothing. They seem like they got a lot going on. Got a house and the girl got a mansion and stuff like that. So I'm not, I don't give the charities.

I'll get to a person. I'm not giving to cancer, but I'll give to a person that has cancer to help their lives. Why wouldn't you give to this whole cancer research? Because I don't know where it's going. Here's so many stories that the money is not a lot at where it should. So I'll have, so there's the video. me send that kid to college, right? I go, I'm not going to send, I'm not going to

donate to a school when I can, the money I could, I could just send one kid to college and at least he's, I know he's in college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I send a kid to college. Got you. You know? Mark 19 wants to know Gary, do you think you're a blacker than see to God, but whiter than Andrew? Who's seat of God?

Me, Shalameen, God. Oh, see the God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of some singer. See the God. Who's the God? Who's the God? God. Do you think you're blacker than me, but whiter than Andrew?

No, I'm definitely not as black as you. I'm blacker than Andrew, though. Okay. So that, however you want to answer that. No, you're wider, no, but you'd have to be whiter than Andrew. You're not as white as Andrew. Not as white as Andrew. Really? No, definitely not. Blacker than me. But then there's parts that are like super white.

Country parts. Yeah. But we have a lot in common. But that's a thing. Broke country has a lot in common with broken Black. Yes. Yeah, yeah, of course. Absolutely. The only difference between a trailer park and like the projects, we don't have the gun violence. One, we probably shoot ourselves. Yeah. The neighbor when I grew up. But you know, there is, in those poor white neighborhoods, there is a lot of, uh, what you would call white on white crime. Yeah, but proximity to each other. Yeah, but we don't have, we don't have the,

we just don't have the, the murder rate, but everything else is the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first white friend, my guy Thomas, man, salute to Thomas. Thomas. Thomas used to live right by us on the dirt road. Like, yeah, he, I never even looked at Thomas is white. Yeah, yeah. I just did it. Like, he was just Thomas.

You know what I mean? You were from South Carolina. It's interesting that my bunkmate in boot camp, it was what blew my mind about black and white people and broke and everything else because his name was Copera Washington, small town of South Carolina. We're sitting there. You know, boot camp, everybody's the same. We all get the same money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he got these pictures and he was on a farm.

John Deere. I go, Are you on vacation? He was like, I was where I live? I go, Black he don't live on farms. That's all we did.

He called his brother from Mississippi, his brother from Georgia, his brother, he goes, come here, Gary. What did you just say? I go, Blammy don't live on farms. It was like,

do the right thing. Yes, motherfucker and okay, man. But you would see that in Ohio? In Ohio? In Ohio? He lived in cities. No black people live in the farms in the Midwest.

I thought Chappelle got a farm. Chappelle's not like black like that. He's different. He's transcendent. He's transent. He's transcentant. He's not black or white. He's Dave Chappelle.

Like literally like the clan likes Dave Chappelle. Like they don't like black people like, he's different. He's different. He made me laugh. You know what I mean? There's those people that just, they transcend race.

You know, and he's one of them. So he's not, does he live on a farmer? I thought he did. I just thought he had mad acres. This in Yellow Spring. Hold on scroll up Taylor. I don't remember asking Gary this.

Somebody is saying to reflect on the clip with Charlotte asked Gary how many years has he been fateful? When was this? Mm-hmm. Was it in this? Yeah. Look, look, hold on. Mm-hmm.

We just reflected on it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Look, I just reflected on it like this. What's his name again? Amad 99 Al-A-Mari. Stay at my motherfucking business. Amon.

How long you've been faithful, bitch? How long you've been faithful? Fucking bitch. Fucking Amad. That's always in Amad. Oh, my God. Amad is the worst. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. Jojo Doe wants to know brushing your teeth or wiping your ass. You got to give up one. Which one and why? Who? Wipe my ass. Yeah. Wipe your ass because you can still get in the pool or you can get it wet.

Oh, no, no. I'm wiping my ass. I'm not brushing my teeth. I'm brushing my teeth. Oh, really? You just go like that. You can clean your ass still, though. Yeah, but your teeth.

I'd give up brushing my teeth because you could gargle. You scope, yeah. Yeah, you could floss. Yeah. You know what I mean? I thought that went with it. I thought it was all in one. It says brushing your teeth.

I would still fall. I would still be able to gargle. All right. I was wrong. I could chew gum all day. I can admit it. Yeah, I got to wipe that ass, though. All right.

You know, ain't nothing like a long day and you get in that shower and you rubbed that towel in the crack of that ass. We don't do that. You don't do that? No. You don't wipe your asses? No, I use enough toilet paper. What do you all use a lufa? No.

No, just don't. Your hand? I just pulled out some dangles with my hand, yeah. Oh? Bend over. your cheeks, let the shower water? Yeah, sometimes. Okay.

Well, you guys know why I'm getting divorced. Yeah. I'm just kidding. Yeah, that's the kind of stories that come about to. He used to be in the shower, being over with his cheeks open, letting the water hit his butt hole. So I said, Gary, if that's what you want,

I'm not the person for you. All right, last one. JPS says, which celebrity would y'all be a pet for? A pet for? What is that? Oh, because the rock Johnson says. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh. A pet? Yeah, which celebrity would y'all be a pet for? Hmm. I guess what type of pet, too? Well, I'm, I would be like a Yorkie. For who? Mm-hmm.

You guys can think, too, you don't have to wait on me. Which celebrity would I be a pet for? You're looking at me like this. Just dead air, I go, you guys, go ahead. You let me think, let you process. Yeah, look, I'm trying to. help your podcast out here. Not Lady Gaga.

Yeah, her dog got kidnapped. Yeah, yeah, definitely not that. I'm trying to think. I don't know. Celebrity I'd be a pet for. I mean, it's really just which celebrity would you want to, like, do things to you sexually, right? Man, shut up.

Isn't that the question? That's not the question. There's no celebrity I would want to be a petful. Yeah. There's people in the world, but they're not like celebrity. Doesn't matter. Somebody else would be raising you. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe not, though. Celebrities is when they don't have kids. like you really like their emotional support, their comfort. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, yeah, is that the last question? Maybe we do another one. All right, yeah.

We don't have anything for that. Let's see. Serena Williams. She'll be in a sports, probably sports thorn, the TV. This is a good one. Boobie Jones. Ask Gary. Okay, we can end on this.

Ask Gary the origin of the olive oil. I love you, joke from Comic View. Oh, my God. That's an old joke. And I've seen like a thousand comics do it since then. What they thought we did? We used to do in high school. So I don't know where I came up with it or whatever, but it was just like, it's true.

I dated this deaf girl at Gallaudet University in D.C. Yeah. And I met her at this club called Tracks. It was a Friday night and she was dancing. And I was like, I went up and started dancing with her. I didn't know she was deaf because she was with the beat. So she wrote, took me over the bar. and she started writing down, I'm deaf,

because I'm talking to her, and she's not talking back. I'm like, why isn't she talking back? She says, I'm deaf. I was like, how are you dancing? She goes, we come here and go to Dad Guy Deck, we can feel the vibrations because the room was small. So I was like, oh, I said, well, God, now, the day didn't, don't scratchin.

Lose, my motherfucker stuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then she would, you know, we, I was with her for a couple months. And then I said, I can never say, I love you, though. I would just say olive oil instead of I love you because it looked like into a deaf girl. So I'd be like,

I was lying to her the old time. You didn't really love her? I was freaking 18, bro. 19. You set a precedent, Gary. How did you guys communicate on dates? We just like, well, more I just used to go to her dorm room. But she played volleyball and basketball.

And when I couldn't, this is the honest guy's truth. This sounds so insensitive. This is when I knew I couldn't do this, was this before cell phones, before texting. And so she would have to call me through this third party. And the lady would be like, hi, I'm with the so-and-so deaf line. So I would say something. It would be a long pause.

And lady would go, ha, ha, ha, Gary. Whoa, that's not how I want the joke to land. You know what I mean? So then, like I say something like, yo, I was on Charlotte. And Charlotte said this dumb shit. Ha. Ha.

Ha. I was such a long pause. So I go to the basketball game. It's silent. you're at deaf college. You can hear the scrober going, click, click, click, click, click. This brother, and it's like a feeling a stereotype, Guy that's whole team was white.

They had one black on the team. This motherfucker came down, did like a 360 dunk. Yeah. Everybody took the cups, put them up through mouth and yelling it because they can feel the vibration on the cup. So there's like a thousand kids go, and I was like this.

I go, I'm sitting here like this. What the fuck? And my girl's, the loudest. I was like this. Oh, this is over. This relationship is over. But did you hit, though?

I don't talk about that shit. I'm not talking about it with... What'd she sound like in bed? Like that? What the fuck? Gary Owen, ladies and gentlemen. Gary, thank you for coming to the Brewerin'Nidious podcast. Right now I'm going to have her freaking internet and go off.

Oh, my God. Oh, man. Was Marky Mark feel the vibration her favorite song back then? Remember that joint? Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch? Weird story. I was in the Navy. At the time around, I was dating her, and I ran into him at the Cincinnati airport.

He was coming in for a concert at King's Island. Mock and Mock and Mock. Yeah. Got like five big black guys around him, and he's so, I didn't know he's that short. He's in the middle. This is like 92. That was the Funky Bunch. Yeah.

I was like, I was like, oh, that's the Mock and Mark and Mark. Yeah. I literally yelled. I go, Mark and Mark and Mark and Mark. Yeah. Idiot. You know, I'm 18, 19. Marky Mark!

He gave me the whole. So, that was the one time I met him. Oh, man. Now he's a movie of Kevin on Netflix that I thought was The Beast. Yo, he said that to me earlier. He was like, yeah, Regina Hall's playing Kevin Hart's girlfriend in the movie Beast. I'm like, what is you talking about? The movie where Idon was fighting the line?

I go, oh, I fucked up. Sorry, it's another movie. I combined two movies. A couple of you fucked out. I go, yeah, Regina's got a movie all right now. The Beast. She's Kevin Hart's girlfriend. He goes, she's not in the movie.

Get yourself with them and go, fuck, I'm sorry. I fucked that all up. She didn't take me on Netflix. Gary Owen, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming, Gary. As always, if you think that we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant, you're absolutely right.

But if you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit, you're right too, it's a brilliant idiot's podcast. Thank you for listening.