The Brilliant Idiots - Schlong Story Short

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

In this episode of The Brilliant Idiots, Charlamagne tha God and Andrew Schulz return, discussing everything from the influence of Elon Musk in government affairs and the role of private entities in public policy to the complexities of relationships and the dynamics of honesty within them. They also explore media narratives, including debates over hip-hop industry politics, the cultural significance of historical representations, and the unexpected impact of viral internet moments. ************************************ Sponsor Brilliant Idiots: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/brilliant-idiots The Wind on Her Tongue - Anita Kopacz https://a.co/d/fWDancH Get Honest or Die Lying Why Small Talk Sucks By Charlamagne Tha God https://a.co/d/gpFlOol Check out Andrew Schulz www.theandrewschulz.com Check out all the podcast on Charlamagne's "Black Effect Network" https://blackeffect.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yep, Charlemagne de God. Andrew Shult. We are the Brewing Idiot's podcast back for another week of Brewing Idiotness. We have any pre-rolls? Okay, let's start the goddamn show. Listen, let you know right now we're doing this on a Monday. But how are you having the Kyle Walker? How's the weekend?

I'm feeling good, man. I'm feeling very good. I'm feeling blessed and highly favorite, as Charlemagne would say. You just announced the special already, but you dropped the trailer. That's the first time I really posted about on social. So I had that trailer dropped that I showed you. That was really cool. Shout at Damon.

Martian. Matt Damon. the legend. How did that come about? I just asked him. You just hit him up. I was like, yo, man, I know you are so busy

and this is like, please say no if this is at all uncomfortable. Also, I hate asking him, feel for shit. And he was like, because he's going to film The Odyssey. Christopher Nolan's new movie. It's going to be the biggest fuck movie ever.

And he goes, he goes, hey man, when were you trying to, when do you want to do it? And I was like, whenever you can do it. And he goes, well, I go to film the

honestly, Friday. Yeah, so just before Friday, like, any time between like eight and three, that's when the kids are... Does he live in New York? Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, got you. And I was like, oh, my God. And then it's even scarier when he agrees to do it because you're like, I don't want to fuck this up. I want to make sure it's, like good and he's funny.

Why Matt Damon, though? Because I feel like... I thought Matt Damon was a great choice. He killed it. But then as I was thinking about it, that's Jimmy Kimmel's buddy. Yeah, I love Jimmills. And Jimmy Kimmel has had a little smoke for you. I love Jimmy.

I love Jimmy. I love Jimmy doing it would have been kind of crazy. Matt was crazy. Now Matt, well, okay, so there's a couple reasons. Okay. One is fucking Matt Damon.

He's like one of the last movies. Absolutely, absolutely. Right? And then two, it's like he's like the nicest, most likable dude. Right? Like in every role,

he's the fucking hero. He's just, you love him. Every single role you fucking love him. And I was like, what if he's like a ball-busty villain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's funny.

Like that's been in like comedies where he's done little shit. And I was like, all right, I know he's gonna be able to deliver. And then I hit him with the script And he was like, oh, this is fun. And then he started coming up with ideas and, like, kind of riffing.

That was maybe the coolest part of being in the trailer with fucking Matt Damon. Yeah. Riffing on lines. That was a... He looks like 20 years old. Is that for the role? He's Odysseus. You are an all-time hater, bro.

This is... I'm not... Was that real? Gotcha. Yeah, the Odyssey. It's the name of the character. What did you say it was? Oh, the Odyssey.

You've heard about the Odyssey. Yeah, but Homer's the Odyssey. I'm not playing what you're not doing it. This is a real one. That is a real one. You are an author. A New York Times bestselling author, you should know about the greatest story ever told,

which is The Odyssey. That book was long and born. I remember the book, but I don't remember what you're saying. Odysseus is the main character of the Odyssey. I don't remember. I'm not trying to catch you. I could catch who.

It feels crazy. I wouldn't catch it. It feels crazy. Odysse and this dick. Jesus. But anyway. He still got that dick on his butt. He still got that dick on his bed.

Taylor came in hot. Unbelievable. Taylor came in and showed a guy's dick that was absolutely huge massive. That was insane. It was gigantic. I mean, that did, I'm not even going to, listen, I'm not even saying it's on some gay shit. That was just like some Ripley's believe it or not. I'm serious.

Like that shit, I'm not, this ain't even, it was, you see this? I'm doing, no, it was worth this. Alex, whoever's editing this, please put the line in. Before we started what Charlemagne said off camera, but I think we were recording. Just put that line in right now. Before we start, Charloméme just kind of like looks down, he goes, man,

I can't get that dick off my mind. No. I can't get that dick out my mind. That shit was somebody else. I wish we could post it. Listen, what's the guy named who died? Remember the big dude, the big brother that was sitting on the bed and his shit was just hang?

This dude is about three of those. Oh. That picture that Taylor just showed us. Yeah, yeah. That shit ain't real, yo. We don't know how big he, he'd eat. What if he's a midget with a normal size penis? Yeah, man, that got to be some subtle tricks or something.

Yeah. And also maybe the way. There's a video, though. You can make AI videos? I don't think. Why did this even enter your, like, you're a mother almost. Like, why are you even looking at these videos? That should look like, sawed off shotgun.

Sawed off. That's the whole shotgun. That's helmet. That's helmet. Right. You waskily wabbit. Can you imagine that? A motherfucker walking with that shit and look at your pussy and go, oh, you wascally

wabbit. Like, Jesus Christ, man. What did Elmer Fudd say? What was this shit? You wascally wabbitt. Yes, it was. You wascally wabbit. Wasn't it?

Yeah, pull up Elma Fudge. I taught I saw a putty cat. I did. I did. But listen, this is great. You Jehovah's Witnesses' ass, no cartoon watching motherfucker. He did not. Emma didn't say I thought I saw a putty cat.

I thought I saw a putty cat. I did. I thought Elmo Fun said you wascally wabbit. Who said you wascally wabbit? Wasn't it Elma Fudd? Imagine sticking your finger in that guy's dickhole. You remember I used to stick the finger in Elmuffin's gun? What did he say you wascally wabbit?

I thought you said you're silly rabbit. Silly wabbit. tricks are for kids. No, no, that's a trick. The whole other fucking commercial, man. Hmm. They just, be very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.

Oh, yeah, he needs to say that too. Very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits. No, you start talking about that again. Huh? Well, what's the process of this? Do you pay Matt? Are you just...

No. You can't pay him. I don't have enough money to pay him. He should do something like that. Like, he just got to do it because he wants to do it. He just got to do it because he's... There's a lot. Shout out to Matt Damon.

Shout out. Shout out. That's a lot. And truly like... It was so funny when I was talking to Jimmy one time, Jimmy goes, and I like shows. Matt put me on his comedy. I remember he said that to me.

He did say that to me. Yo, shout out Jimmy, man. We love you, bro. We want to bring the old Jimmy back. Man Cave Jimmy would be fine. Jimmy don't ever bring that motherfucker back. Man show Jimmy is... It's over.

He did that already. Let the man live. Sometimes you got to run it back. They're going to say that after they see their life. Yeah. And they're going to be like... I want the old shows back and that was just last year. I want the blackface Schultz.

That was just, I don't know, I've never seen that version. No, I had a joke about blackface. Oh, I don't you. But that's what they're gonna say. They're gonna watch the life, which is a fantastic special. I'm-Bless man. Jimmy's a grown-ass man. Obviously things change and your life priorities change.

Yes. Come on. Yes, it's okay to be gay nowadays, bro. Like, let that shit fly. Are you saying Jimmy's gay? No, I meant, what? Are you saying you're gay? What are you what's going on?

I don't mean gay in the fucking uh-uh way. I mean, you know, I mean gay in the man cave way. What's wrong with you all? It was, I thought it was gay in the man cave? Oh, God. Yo, take your dick out of a man cave for a second. By the way, show them that goddamn Captain Caveman. We can't put that shit on the pot?

No. What is it? I just, okay, okay, this is what we can do. We can put the picture up and just blur it, and they will be able to tell by how big The big the blur is what this motherfucker is doing. Who? This guy that fucking Taylor showed us. Oh yeah, replace the dick with like a grandfather clock.

You know the thing that goes like that? Dongs. You know how many times, for a while, let's be clear, the way he's dressed is definitely suspicious. He got on the bubble jacket. He got the Y-N uniform, all right? He got the black nor face with the, what is, what kind of, he got on sweatpants, right?

Yeah. Yes, he did. No, it was nothing on. What is right? He had it till you had it pulled down. You guys still have a toe deal with why in it? He had the black nor face with the hoodie, the push-sheisty on his head, and that thing swinging. Every time he gets stopped and frisk, he got to drop his pants.

Oh, he got it. He got to. The cops was like, come on, man. No, come on. Stop playing. You don't think about that. Like, what the fuck is this? And I ain't going front.

I never seen a BBD, yo. Huh? That was a BBD. A big black dick? God. You've ever seen a big black dick? Like that. In real life.

That's poison. Out of port. I'm serious. Like, that shit really. Do you see it? I did. I don't believe it. I got to be A-I.

It's got to be A-I. Now we talk about. Do you guys get... He sent it to my friend, though. Yeah. Hey, I. By the way, we didn't start this podcast talking about Dix. I know Dick Talk is a segment on this podcast.

Taylor just literally showed us this unbelievable shit. But you get racism a little when you see it. Oh, my God. From white people, right? You get when white people are like, keep them away from our women. or whatever. Why you get that? A little, just a little bit.

I can see your point. Why have we never seen no statues? This is why they never made statues of black people. It's easy to make the statues when you can put the little big fucking Greek stuff on that shit. No, there's Greek statues like great. You know what I mean?

Plenty of Greek statues. You can't make no statue. Nah. Zulu warrior with those shit like that. That is insane. They don't got enough marble. What if? They don't got enough.

Marble. Broke it off. Like they broke off the nose. What if Lulu Warriors never really was carrying spears? That was the whole damn time. You know what I'm saying? The whole time they was just holding their fucking cock stuff. That was crazy, Taylor.

Nah. That was, that guy needs to do point. There's nothing to be jealous of. That's all I was trying to say. But she's trying to say is women don't like that. Oh, that's what Taylor said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what Taylor said.

They don't like that. You're right. They hate that. Women hate big dicks. If they do, it's nothing against them, but white women. I'm the only ones that would want that. You're saying white women want that? But white women have the tightest vaginas outside of Asian women.

But no. I wouldn't even put a race on it, Taylor. White women got the tightest vaginas outside of Asian women. I wouldn't put the ring on the dicks, the smaller the vaginas. Got to be equivalent. Why not? Great point. So by that logic, by that lot.

Y'all not listening to what's showing me. By that logic, though. Who got the biggest? That's true. I'm going to tell you something, Taylor. I don't even think it's a race thing. that's an adventurous thing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a ride. Yeah. That's like bungee jumping. Yeah, like those, yeah, it's like, uh, yeah. You're trying to think of like those people that like piercings or whatever. Like they're like a form of masochism. That's what I'm saying. Like I was like a, uh, like a guy.

If I was a dictator, like, you know, like I really wanted to punish somebody. You have him. You get that guy. Yeah. You got beef with a dude. Yeah. Hey, and you let them see it And then you turn them around

You let him see it walking in So you're saying Yes All right so if you were the king You would have like the Oh, it's like the guy who hangs The guillotine Yes man, the dicketeen

The dicketeen Yes They would come in and then you could go What do you want? Do you want the guillotine? Do you want to be hung or do you want that? And I'm going to say I think a combination of all three

He's hung Well when you put it in You're going to want your head cut off Yo, what if that is even, that could be even crazy. You're in the machine? I'm not even joking when I said, this dude is like a 20 by 6. It looks like that's what it was, a baby going back in a woman.

That right there might be a big dad that weighs about seven pounds. No, that thing is bigger than a bag. I never seen no shit like that. That thing to put that in, it's like putting a baby coming back. That dick, no bullshit. God damn. That's- You know what Taylor just said?

That, no. Can you imagine a woman describing your dick in that way? But it felt like there was Pushing the baby back in. Oh! But I think that dick would go in and then hit a Ui and then could probably come back out. If it was a small enough vagina, I think it could go in, hit a Ui, come back out. I think that guy...

And what's the kind of dick that when you put in and the girl goes, if you get it all the way in, you'll see the dickhead where her tom... Like alien. Yes, man. Like the aliens movie. That shit is crazy. Yeah. God bless that, brother, man.

You know what I mean? Why would God do that? Like, why would God give him that? There's some empty women out there, man. There's a woman out, listen, there's a... God creates the ying and yang, right? There's an equal and opposite for everything, right? You get poison ivy, the tree right next to it cures the poison ivy.

So what that means is if there's a man with that dick, there's a woman out there. There's a vagina out there to match that dick. Remember that movie that just came out the gorge? Yes. That's the movie. That's what it's about. Damn. That's...

That's it. There's a woman out there that could fit that 100%. And she had maybe triplets or something? The poor guy can't even masturbate without two hands. The poor guy got to grease up both arms and do this shit. For real, man. That's crazy. That shit is crazy. Imagine getting erect in public like that.

And he's just a Hulk. Buttons start flying off the pants. Dude, that guy's a liability. Boy, you don't want to see him coming in no great sweatpants. Oh, my God. Okay. We just warmed up. I'm sorry, guys.

We didn't mean to start like this. No, hold on. Taylor came in here to try to make us feel better. Imagine. You know what Taylor said? She was like, there's no need to be us jealous about people's dick size anymore. And then she showed that.

She showed us. She was like, nobody wants this. But imagine circumcising that thing. Shee. Oh, my God. How is it? What do you do with that carpet? It's a fucking sale.

Go make it get you a build you a sailboat with all that goddamn full skin. Who is you talking about? Why you swallow like that just now? You see? What the fuck? You see, he groped and adjusted himself. How, what's up? Al, what's up, man?

Hal, what's up? That's the whole point in the conversation. It's a lot, Alex. Are you not paying attention? That's how we started the conversation. This is how we got to weed out all the people that follow us for a political point. You start with the cock. You start with the cuck.

That's it. They all turn off. They're like, there's no way this show talks about politics at all. Within 30 seconds of brilliant idiot's crop. every single week. Twitter is on fire with our political takes like we are actually the foremost political journalist of time. I guess they are doing

the right thing. Why do you think that is? You tell me, bro. I think it's because we're honest. Yes. Like, we voted for who we voted for, but we're still able to come in here and have objective, nuanced conversations about what's going on in the fucking country. That is interesting. Like, I wonder if we're one of the

biggest platforms that is unbiased. meaning like most platforms of this size are bigger have like a specific political angle and they just repeat that shit and the conversations that we have is majority of them retarded

but every once in a while interesting talking points when it comes to... I also think it's because we're willing to change our minds that presented with the right information that's something you never see on any of those networks those people on Fox are sticking to their talking points and then stick it to their talking points CNN, stick it to their target points.

MSNBC sticking to their talking points. But that might change because they had a huge shakeup over there. Ooh, ooh. Tell me. I mean, a bunch. I mean, they let go of Ms. Joy Ann Reed, but then the day I saw that they got rid of a bunch of people's shows. I don't think they got rid of the talent, but they got rid of a bunch of people's shows. Got it.

Yeah, I saw that today. I saw that today. But, yeah. I wonder if it's because the criticism is coming from a place of we would actually like. Concern. Yeah. And you said something last week and you said something the last couple of weeks.

You was like, yo, basically you want Democrats to be by power. I cannot wait till it's a tough choice for president because we like both or something. The best thing possible would be if next election the Democrats

come forward and Americans are going, oh my God, this is amazing. We love their ideas. Yeah. That's the best thing for America. We want people, like, any product is good when there's two companies competing with one another, and they're constantly having to make the product a little bit better to beat out the other one. Like, look at, I mean, it's crazy to call it video games,

but look at the video games, like, Xbox and PlayStation. Like, look how good video games got because you have these two competing companies competing on graphics. They're trying to get the license rights for the games because they want to keep the audience, etc. That's what we want for politics. That's what we want for anything.

Look at the NBA, right? It's like, you say again? When's the last time it was like that for politics? Hmm, that's a good question. I don't know if it's ever... I don't know. Well, the problem is that... Maybe, maybe Obama McCain?

Maybe. I mean, Obama, don't be wrong, Obama's a once-in-a-lifetime generational talent. Yeah. But there's a lot of people who did like John McCain. And there was civility between the two of them. Remember when some guy, one of John McCain supporters were trying to shit all over Obama and he, like, checked him? That's what I'm saying, yeah. We're scared of an Obama presidency.

I'm concerned about, you know, someone that, you know, cohorts with domestic terrorists such as errors. I have to tell you, he is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared as President of the United States. Now, I just, I have read about him, and he's not, he's a, he's an Arab. He is not, no. No, no, ma'am, no ma'am. He's a, he's a decent family man, citizen that I just happened to have disagreements with. That was beautiful. You'd love it to get to a point where there was mutual respect because the ideas weren't so far off.

I think McCain beats anybody who's not Obama. Yeah, Obama was just a super... That's what I'm saying. And maybe Romney, too. A lot of people used to like Mitt Romney as well. Yeah. You know? Yeah, 100%.

I was, you know, if you look at what everybody says that they care... Bush and Clinton maybe. Bush and I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, I thought that George Bush was respected. But there was, he was going against Al Gore. No, no, no, no. But there was something that happened with the first. Al Gore was Clinton's running me. I'm talking about.

Yeah, there was something that happened. Senior, there was something that happened that caused him to lose that election. I think it was a war. Was it the war? Well, yeah, they went out to, that was the first Gulf War, right? I think that's what makes. But usually a wartime president wins. But then also, once again, you're going up against a one-in-a-lifetime generation-on-time. At least we're in this position where both candidates seem like America is going to be in a good place.

I have been doing some research, not research, but just reading a little bit more. And I am convinced that in my 46 years of life, the best president in my 46 years has been Bill Clinton. Talk that shit. Bill Clinton has been the best president because if everybody says they care about the economy, there was nobody who was better for the economy than Bill. He referred. I think we had a surplus during the national partnership for reinventing government. what Elon Musk is saying he wants to do or is attempting to do. Bill Clinton actually did it. He did it and he did it in a constitutional way that actually had real results.

Goat politician. I don't understand truthfully why any politician, Democrat or Republican, just did not continue to follow the blueprint that Bill Clinton laid in regards to the economy. I'm not smart enough to know, but... Crime bill. Well, well, there's always going to be things that we can point at. I said, but that's why I said in particular, the economy. I pointed to the economy. Now, some people would say that, like, you could trace

the financial crisis back to Clinton policies. Have you heard about that? Well, in regards to manufacturing leaving America, I've heard that. His trade policy, though. Oh, I thought it was, like, the leniency with Wall Street and kind of like letting Wall Street run wild. Again, I don't know if that's a fair criticism. I'm not exactly sure. I don't know enough to know. And it's easy to just look back and go, hey, this was actually their fault, right? Well, the next administration should have done something to change that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You put blame there, too.

But, uh, but yeah, in terms of the economy and, like, having a budget surplus and also, like, the pride of America. Again, I don't know how Republicans felt about Clinton during that time, but I know being a New Yorker, being a Democrat, like, it was, we felt cool. It was exciting. Globally, I felt cool. Well, well, would they like them enough to do bipartisan legislation when they saw that what he was doing in regards to the, uh, um, um, um,

What did I just say? The national performance, national partnership for reinvent the government. They liked him enough to vote bipartisan legislation on that, but they also wanted to get him the fuck up out of there getting a little bit ahead, which seems so light now. So light.

I mean, God damn. When you look at what he did with the economy, did he not deserve to get his dick suck? And he got his dick suck consensually. They weren't even accusing him of doing that shit by force. He got a consensual dick suck. That people found out about. that people found out about that.

But it was the power dynamic, so I understand, I get it. All I'm simply saying is... What power dynamic? He was married. So what? He was married. You're absolutely right. So what?

No, no. He was married. So what? Respect your vows. All I'm simply saying is if you get America out of debt and we have our first Sarah Flust since 1969... You get your dick suck. God dang.

I mean, can't... You get your dick suck. I mean, just the... If that's what's motivating him and having him coming up with these great ideas... You're saying, hold on, hold on. For the whole... For the good of the country. Let's talk about we got $3 trillion or whatever.

We're in debt right now. What's the U.S. national debt right now? Let's say it's $3 trillion. It could be way more. You're saying if Donald Trump knocks out $3 trillion a debt, he can't get his dick sucked? By his wife, sure. If he does it the right way. That's the thing that's so impressive about Clinton.

He did it in a constitutional way. He did it in an American way. When he had Al Gore running that organization of his, he didn't have some foreigner from another country. Okay. You really harping on this or not only did he have Al Gore running it. He worked with federal agents to see what needed to be cut. And then when you went to go make the cuts, he did it with Congress. He did it the right way in a constitutional way.

Line up for a dick suck. Line up and let him get his dick suck. I mean, he deserves it. I don't even know if Trump wants that shit's sucking. I mean, 80 years old, he's just trying to balance the budget. Well, he's doing something else. Think so? Yeah.

What is that? What is that? What you're about to say? That says bowed down. What does that say, Taylor? Oh. Got him. Damn. Trump knew you was trying to set him up.

Got him. Got your ass. He saw you. He saw you from miles away. He's like, look at this girl trying to set me up. Page removed. Got him. That's Cash Patel right there.

Cash is in your laptop right now. Cash said, fuck all that, Elon. My shit. You saw that? And Tulsi Gabbitt. And Pete Hexef. Hey, they know what time is? And Mark Rubio.

These are real Americans, yo. That's what I'm saying. Don't play around real America. That's all I'm saying. Respect the Constitution. That's all I'm fucking saying. You can concede the election, but don't concede the Constitution. That's disrespectful.

What is that? That's disrespectful. Hold on. What does that say? Scroll up. Monitors at the Department of House. Why y'all did that at HUD? See, y'all going to cause him to...

See, now you're going to start to put in black people. Monitors at the Department of Housing and Urban Development reportedly hacked the show AI video or Donald Trump sucking Elon Musk. All right, now he's going to get rid of HUD. Yeah, you gonna see? Y'all couldn't do that in any other departments. I'll have some fun. You had to do that shit at HUD.

Now, when he get rid of HUD, who's fault is it? I he stroking the foot like that. That is wild, though. I will say, I will say that this video is crazy. But Elon Musk and Donald Trump are giving record label owner hottest artist vibes. It's like when you saw Birdman standing next to Lil Wayne back in the day. Or when you saw Biggie and Buck. Biggie back in the day.

Or when you see like, yo God, he's standing next to Glorilla now. You got the hot artist, which is Trump. But it's clearly you can see who's in charge here. There's no way Trump likes that, Joe. There's no way Trump likes those. You just, you're putting Elon as the executive. You goddamn right. You know, you can see it when they're together.

It's actually kind of strange, honestly. Like even when they're in the over office, the optics, Trump's sitting down. Elon standing up, the kid telling Trump shut his mouth. You know, Trump don't give a fuck. Trump don't give it. He loves the fact that there's someone else getting all this smoke on the internet. He loves the fact that you and all these other people are talking shit about Elon, not talking shit about him.

And he's just getting deals done however the fuck he wants to get deals done while this dude takes all the smoke. This is like the perfect scenario for this Trump president. Yeah, but you're creating a mega civil war. You saw what Steve Bannon said about your boy. Steve Bannon needed to take his shitty skin and go back into a jail sentence. Steve Bannon says, Steve Bannon. Nobody give a fuck about what Steve Bannon says. Steve Bannon said you fired thousands of federal staff.

You're a parasitic illegal immigrant. God, damn you. Where's Steve Bannon from, you know? I have no idea. You know, look at Steve Bannon's skin. Steve's skin look like Bible paper. I've never seen someone with shittier skin and that much money. You can put fucking lotion on your skin and you will be fine, Steve Bann.

I bet if you walked in your building and saw that motherfucker sitting in the lobby, you'd be like, oh, shit. I would because I don't have a lobby. Yeah, this motherfucker made a lot. You fucking make a lot. Nah, this Marvel villain-looking motherfucker, you don't need... I don't like the fact that we're even listening to him talk anymore, but his hair looks great for the age. If I was Steve Bannon, I would understand why he doesn't like somebody like Elon Musk, because if you did... If you worked so hard to position a party as the party of the working class, you can't have...

You think that's what he worked hard doing? Steve Bannon? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, there's a lot of things Steve Bannon did. He's just mad he's not in the White House anymore. He's just not a shot caller. He's just mad that he's not some of the people who pay attention to.

So he's just trying to rouse it up again. He just wants attention. You think so? Yeah. Come on. Hey, man. So what about Tosy? What about Cass?

The goat. What about Pete Haguestaff? What about Rubio? They said, we're ignoring fucking Elon's emails. Like, yo, y'all don't answer to him. Who the fuck is he? Unless. Nah, yo.

We don't answer to him. Well? He's an elected official. Well, well, well, what doesn't matter if you're elected official or not? Come on. Yes, it does. Cash Patel's not an elected official. But he's the head of the FBI.

Yeah, but he's not elected. But he got sworn in by the Senate. Elon did not. So you're saying that, and again, I could be wrong about this, but you're saying that if the president hires anybody to look into anything, they're not allowed to do it unless the Senate swears them in? Yes, if you're going to be over how the federal government spends people's money. But the amount of people that spend our money that are part of the federal government that we, have not sworn in is what's caused all this bloat and bureaucratic bullshit that we're dealing with now. I don't know anything about that. Like, it was here and I do. I mean, there's all these programs.

That's the problem with you. There's all these programs that they're slashing shit right now, right? Again, I don't even know what they're slashing. But there are all these programs that they have said have gotten a lot of bloat. In other words, that there's a lot more people have hired. They've hired for these certain, like, interest projects. And these interest projects have been potentially completed. And those people haven't moved on to work on anything else. They're just still there getting paid by our money. We didn't hire them. The Senate didn't hire them. Somebody at that company hired them.

So I guess what I'm trying to understand is like, I don't know how that works. I really don't. I think it works. Like when you're a USDA, FDA, you're in charge of nuclear weapons. I don't know how that works. The Senate can't come in and approve every single person that's hired on every single committee. Maybe they could, maybe it should be done where like the Senate approves like the person

that's the head of the committee or something. Maybe that's the pushback. But I guess what I'm trying to say is like, If you have nothing to hide and there is no issue, let's look at the books. No, sure, but it has to be. Why is that a bad plan? You can't have unchecked, unauthorized power from somebody who's not an elected official. How about this?

Everything you're saying happened in the 90s. Bill Clinton did it. How about this? And Bill Clinton didn't need congressional approval to put this organization together. How about this? We let the Doge or whatever look into all the excess. We have them with transparency, share the excess. Upon sharing the excess, we have a congressional committee of elected officials come in and act on the excess.

So do it the right way. Would that be the right way? Yes, the way. That's exactly what's the constitutional way is. When Bill Clinton created the national partnership for reinventing government, that's exactly what they did. And it's like this, right? If I wanted to know more about comedy, like say comedy clubs in New York City. Yeah.

Who should you talk to? If you want to know how to fix comedy clubs in New York City, make comedy clubs the best. Who should you talk to? Comedy club owners. And who else? Comedians? Yes.

That's what Clinton did. He went to go talk to federal workers and people who were in charge of these organizations to see where they could cut waste. Once they figured it all out, then they went to Congress with it. That is the constitutional way. I'm all about going to Congress with it after you find it,

but I'm also totally fine with an outside person checking on all of these different organizations. I'm totally fine. Matter of fact, I think it should be an outside source. I think an inside source might be too biased. I think an inside source has these special interest groups in their ear. Like, for example, if we say we can't sit on this podcast right now and say that every senator, every congressman, every president, every whatever,

is in the pocket of big business, right? And then at the same time go, so let's let them make the decision which part of these organizations we cut and which we don't. If we are right now saying that they're all corrupt and that they're accepting these bribes from these different companies, why could we trust them to make the right decisions for why we trust Elon Musk? Well, it doesn't have to be Elon, but I do like the idea that there is a private person outside of government that's at least gaining the information.

It doesn't have to be Elon. It could be name another, John Denver, it doesn't fucking matter what it is. But a private person outside of government that is not beholden to any of these special interest groups going in, accessing this information, calling out where they think the bloat is or the excesses, and then you could have Congress vote on it. That's what Clinton did other than having somebody from the outside. He used his vice president, but they still cut 380,000 jobs.

So it's not like they did. And you know what else they did? They taxed the motherfucking wealthy. Like when we talk about the surplus that happened in America during that time, it wasn't just the fact that he was cutting all these jobs. They taxed the motherfucking richest among us. Elon and man going to do it. Why do we act like we don't get taxed? That's another thing that's crazy. Like I, I, the wealthiest, the people in America, though.

Okay, but we do. That's the thing. But people, but people think where the wealth. Oh, no, no, we get taxed. But that's a thing. So, and, and that's why there's a lot of times pushback for people, like, around, I don't even want to put me in your demographic. But when people make, when people make a certain amount of money, you're getting tax over 50% when you add state tax in, right? And city tax from New York City, right? You're over 50%. When they say the rich don't pay taxes, They're talking about the wealthiest amongst us. The people who don't actually, like, make a living. Like, Jeff Bezos's money is in stock. Warren Buffett's money's in stock. All these super-rich people's money's in stock. Find a way to clip their ass at 50%. You know who would support that?

The rest of us pay in 50%. Clinton had it at a... You have 99.9.9% of human beings in America support that 100%. The question is, how do you do it? Yeah, Clinton's tax cuts, I believe, were 34%. That was the number, Chris? Yeah, Clinton tax us with 34% for the wealthiest amongst. So check it, if there's this huge wealth gap,

and I'm not talking about between me and you and the average person. I'm talking about between the average person and Jeff Bezos, the average person and the billionaire class, if the billionaires aren't getting tax at all, and the rest of us are getting taxed, and we're in tax heavy. Yes. We're paying the tax. Realistically, we're paying the tax for those billionaires.

That's what my financial is about to tell me that all the fucking time, but you know why because they don't pay taxed. But now, listen, nobody and I totally get it, nobody wants to hear us complain about how much we, We get taxed. Well, fuck them. No, no, no. Sometimes we need some things on this podcast for us, okay?

But my point is, I'm fine paying into the system. I've never had an issue paying into the system. The frustration comes from when the people that make way more money than us. I'm talking about hundreds of times more money than us pay almost nothing. And there is unilateral support for that. I don't see, like, if you're paying 50% every year, Charlemagne, would you not support? Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you not support taxation on Jeff Bezos? You've got that right. Absolutely. Okay, so Clinton, the highest marginal income tax rate was raised from 31 to 39.6% for individuals earning over 250. But he raised corporate taxes. So the new corporate tax rate of 35% was applied to businesses with taxable incomes over 10 million. And the percentage of Social Security benefits subject to taxation increased from 50% to 85% for individuals earning over 34 grand and couples over 44 grand.

Here's the thing about Clinton, man. We had these conversations last week, and it's true. People don't forget what you said. They'll forget what you did. They'll never forget how you made them feel. I remember in the 90s when the hood was booming because of Clinton's economy. I remember this. I remember my father and my uncle them having these conversations about the money's coming through because of Clinton.

I also remember when Bush got in the office and fucked shit up. And the economy was disgusting. And he did what most people do when they fuck up the economy. He's a little stimmy, $750, Bush bucks. Do you remember that? Chris? Sure. Remember Bush bucks? I didn't get no Bush bucks. Nah, we weren't eligible for that shit back then.

But listen. I think a combination of the two, though, having somebody from outside and working with people in government because that's, you can't rely on the people in government to clean up government and we don't trust somebody from outside the government.

But it's happened already, though. No, but it has. As is always an outsider. Clinton is in the 90s. Clinton was an outsider. Oh, you mean, okay, I get what you saying. So you mean like somebody that wasn't part of the problem in the first place? Yeah, because it shouldn't be the richest guy in the world.

No, no, no, no. Okay, okay. I guess what I'm saying is people are getting so caught up on whether it's Elon or not, right? And I'm sure there's reasons that are justifiable for that. Sure. But what it is happening, we don't have to criticize. We should be looking at the books. Like, if you run a business, Chris, you run a business, Alex, you run a business.

Don't you want to look at the books and see which studios are profitable, which are not, find out if there's some excess. Hey, maybe there's something that you're paying and that person isn't even managing any of the pods. You look at that and you go, hey, why are you accepting money? You weren't doing any of the pods. Yeah. I'm a bad example, but yes. But why you think, I'm asking Chris, why you think it's a bad example?

No, no, no. He's saying he's a bad example. I'm bad at that stuff. Oh, got you. You too. I'm bad at that shit too. But then would you, would I want to hire somebody who knows? knows nothing about my business to come in and try to make changes and cut cost and fire people.

No, I think it would be best if you have me who knows my business and somebody from outside who's a clear. Again, again, I guess it would be beneficial for all of us if there was unanimous bipartisan support for looking at government excess spending and reducing and trying to look at effective smart ways to reduce this insane debt that will cripple us in the future. Yeah, I think we all agree with it. But I feel like there's not enough, I feel like there's not enough messaging and everybody's getting so caught up into, oh, Elon and he's the richest guy and why is he doing it?

Okay, okay, okay. But he is. It's unconstitutional. Okay, okay, okay, my point is, you're an American show. You did a special called Shots Saves America. Yes. You put your American flag on like a robe. I love him.

You wear your American glasses, your shades, you wave your flag. You cannot be a patriot and be okay with a foreigner doing what he's doing. But my mom is a foreigner. I have a lot of, I love foreigners. I think foreigners are what makes America brilliant. Well, hold on. A wise man once said on this podcast. Yep.

Why should Trevor Noah get to talk about American podcast? Why should Medi his son get to pay? No, Wayne's light of spark. Not just Trevor, but also John Oliver and I said a specific nuance take about that. Okay, give it to me. Same thing. Well, with Medi, I'm not exactly sure. I don't know what the deal is with him exactly. Definitely not born.

My point is, if you are not from America, and you are going to have a very partisan take on America, where Alabama becomes one of your punchlines, where Missouri becomes one of your punch lines, without actually spending time here, knowing those places, and then telling us Americans how we should feel about them, without ever living there or really understanding those people, I have an issue with it.

I say personally, I would feel uncomfortable going to South Africa and having the news show about South Africa without really spending some time in half of the country, which I'm shitting on, which is what I see these people doing. I would feel uncomfortable about it. For whatever reasons, Americans, we love it when foreigners go do it. I don't know why that is. But to me, I would feel uncomfortable doing that. To your point, though, I don't want to keep saying foreigner. I don't think, you know, real quick, real quick. But would you feel comfortable redoing the South American government?

What I feel comfortable redo? You're saying I wouldn't go there and talk about this tribal area versus this precinct. I don't know that stuff. It's not really for me to speak on. That's an internal conversation, essentially. Yeah. You're speaking on American culture and as a reflection of politics without truly getting an understanding of like what makes us tick. So you're saying this is different because it's not cultural, it's numbers?

It's like those people getting fired are Republican and Democrat. Those businesses are Republican and Democrat. Absolutely. Those services affect both. It affects us as Americans. So if an American consultant, which happens all the time, not only American consultants, they go to the Middle East, right? And they're hired to consult on the various business endeavors that they're doing.

They're doing it blindly. They're looking at the investments and not going, well, let's invest in some conservative shit or some Democratic shit. They're just going, what is the best for this business? What is the best for this country? I don't see a problem with that as long. as you're doing it blindly, if they were specifically targeting one political demographic, if Elon is specifically targeting one political demographic with this, then I'd start to go,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this isn't a good idea here. But as far as I'm understanding, it's agnostic. But they're not McKinsey, they're not Deloitte, right? Like, they're not these companies that he's not, is what I'm saying. Do we know that? He's got the biggest vested interest in all of this. Yes. Which, which, which, which, which is, which is, which is conservative. I want to get back to that. Let's just stay where we, this is the biggest issue with Elon. It's just unconstitutional. Like, forget everything else.

Just the foreigner. It's just unconstitutional. What makes it unconstitutional? There's this thing called, I'm glad you asked. It's this thing called the appointments clause. And they say it's an appointment's clause violation because it mandates that principal offices of the U.S. must be appointed by the president and confirmed by the Senate. Must serving as a senior advisor to President Trump and overseeing Doge has been exercising

substantial authority without Senate confirmation. This has led to legal challenges from 14 state attorney general. who argue that Musk's role in actions violate the appointments clause. They seek to prevent him from issuing directives to executive branch officials and to invalidate his previous actions, which is why I cast Patel and Tosso Gabbitt and Pete Haguestaff

and Mark Rubio said, fuck that email. Y'all, we're not answering to that shit? I like that. You see them trying to get in front of that, though, by saying, oh, Elon's not an employee of Doge. Elon's not connected to Doge. Come on.

I know you playing in our face again? And you know what else? I didn't like Elon said yesterday. Elon goes, I just wanted to see who had a pulse. Like, yo, we're talking about people who are literally in charge of our national security, who are literally in charge of how we just stay safe here in America. Why are you playing with these people on a weekend? So this is the way that we should frame this conversation.

We should say what we like about what's happening. I like what Doge is in theory. Chris, you said that months ago. Let's start here. Let's start here. What do we all appreciate about the idea? of Doge? Government efficiency. Government efficiency. And we've seen it work.

We've seen it work before. When it's done right, it can work. Okay. Bill Clinton did it. Okay. And then Chris, you're probably the biggest critic here of this, and I'm not like setting you up for anything. Is there anything about Doge that you appreciate or you look? Sure. There's a lot of waste in the government. I don't think anybody's denying that. Yeah. I would say if you're really serious about coming fat, start in the Pentagon. You start in the Pentagon and the military.

I don't think putting, I can't even remember the guy's name in charge signals that you're really serious about that. On Gino or whatever? No, the other dude. Haguestaff? The guy who's not drinking on the job. Hague stuff? Yeah. HXF.

Yeah, yeah, so look, you know, and I know they signal that they're going to go look at that, but that's where the fat is. Yeah. You know, all this, the park rangers, the, all the other little stuff they're looking at it. It's not even nickels and diamonds. It's pennies. What a property is supposed to do? Okay. If he starts chopping up the military and not just chopping up,

he might go into the military and reroute a lot of those contracts to SpaceX associated. Already doing that he's doing that? That's what I'm very concerned about. Okay. Again. Even the USAID that he's going after, they become one percent of the federal government. This is why these conversations fall apart.

I didn't ask what he's doing wrong or what they're doing wrong. Are you asking me theoretically? Theoretically, what do we like about a government agency that looks into efficiency in government spending, which is our money, in the spending of our money that we pay in taxes? What do we support about that? Let's start with what we support. That's what we support. You told me you like what you support. You like the fact that there is an agency or somebody that's looking into government spending and there could be a bunch of excess there.

And by reducing that excess, it might make life a little bit easier for all America. And the fact, we've seen it work. And we saw it work with building. Clinton. It's been proven if it's done right and constitutionally. I like that they're going line by line and pointing things out. That's what they're not going. Wait, well, hold on. They're doing

in certain aspects where they're like, wait, why are we sending this much money to this for that? Like some transparency because a lot of times we're like, yo, what are our tax money dollars both? And we don't know. So it's like I like the fact that they're trying to be transparent. How transparent are they being? We don't know, but I'm saying at least there was a

I can't remember her name. But that's nice at least, right? It's feeling like, okay, if I If I pay $100 in taxes a year, if I know 78 of those dollars goes to a random, like, military plane that we no longer use in war anymore because now everything's drones, we can go, okay, well, maybe we can take that 78, spend 30 of it on drones, and then you could kick back 48 to me. That'd be really nice. Or put it into some other programs.

Like, so we like the transparency? Everybody's kind of on the same page with that? Yes. And what's the... Chris is hesitant. You don't want to know. what we're spending money on? Theoretically.

So what do you mean? You do or you don't? I do. Okay. Okay. So theoretically we at least like that. I feel like if we could come from a place where we go, there's government excess, we can reduce some spending, we can hopefully do it in a way that impacts like everyday people's lives

minimally. There are going to be some people that might lose their jobs, as will happen at Amazon, as will happen at Pepsi, as will happen at Coca-Cola, as what happens at Coca-Cola, as what happens Is it the MPA? Oh, what 300,000 workers did it under Clinton? Exactly. Oh, 300,000 federal workers lost their job under the police. So that will happen as what happens with any company in the world.

That unfortunately is what happened, right? There might be situations where more people get hired, where we realize after looking into it, whoa, we're severely understaffed over here. And this is way overstaffed. Maybe we can shift some of those people over. I don't know. But a look into it, we agree.

So baseline, we could have Elon go look into every single thing without changing anything. report back and go, hey, here is where extreme excess is. Why don't we have the Senate pass some bill to reduce that exit? Is that a fair way of looking at where you know you have bipartisan support in the Senate looking at these changes? And we have a submission, an example, if you will, of how they would do it. You're right, but you know who did that? Bill Clinton.

All I'm trying to say is if we frame it in a way where the issue isn't some image, from South Africa, wherever you called him, is doing it. But rather, somebody is pointing it out. We get that transparency that clearly America needs so we can have faith in our institutions again. We have no faith in our institutions. You can't wipe you after the Constitution. I agree. I agree. But we need to get to a point where we have faith in our institutions again. And you don't do that by just gaslighting the American people. But you don't do it by having Elon must do what's currently doing. Guys, guys, guys, I'm not saying anything gets executed. I'm saying a suggestion of where fat could be trimmed is then go.

Key word of suggestion. Yeah, that's not what I'm saying. Look, I don't agree with Trump. We know this. But if he says, I want to deputize Elon Musk to investigate this, come back with his findings. That's better work. And then put it through Congress. I'm not going to probably agree with it, but that's how the process is.

That's what Clinton did. But here's what's troubling about it. Trump could do that. And whatever... He's not. And he's not. Because whatever Elon came back with, he controls Congress,

he could run it through Congress, and get what he wants. So the fact that he's not taking... You have control of all three branches of the government. Bad. So now what we've done is we've isolated the criticism that has bipartisan support.

Before, when we're just, you know, screaming epitaphs at random people, the conversation completely melts and falls apart. and the people on the right just go, ah, fuck these crazy libs, and the people on the left just go,

ah, these motherfuckers are tyrants, and it's over. Right now we have bipartisan support. We have liberals and conservatives in the same room going, we need to look at government, and we all agree in this room that it shouldn't just be this like,

what is it, sweeping, like a brushstroke that just knocks everything out without some people that are experts in these fields looking at it and taking their... Exactly. So, like you said, if he deputized his musk or someone, It could be someone else. I don't really give a fuck who it is. If he deputizes that person,

they go look into it. They reveal their findings to the American people as well, by the way. And then that gets passed in Congress. Do you know who did that? What I love about this, this is what I love about this. The American people know what the excess is now, right? It goes to the vote in Congress. Now all those senators and congressmen that vote against it are signaling to, to their people, hey, I'm okay with this government excess and you spending your tax dollars on things that these independent investigators have said aren't really benefiting the American people.

Now you get to decide on your senator or congressman next election. You're going to go, I don't think that motherfucker got the best interest. And that's why my best interest in heart. And that's why Bill Clinton had bipartisan support for what he was doing. So what I'm saying is, as you've suggested, there is a way to do it. But unfortunately, we get caught up in this bickering and then nobody even pays attention. It would be great if we just took that support. We reinstate some faith in government once again.

And we do it through the Constitution, which is elected officials. We've elected reviewing these findings and executing that. And that's why it's so interesting what Elon Musk did because Elon Musk raised his hand and volunteered this information and said, what I'm doing is what Bill Clinton did in the 90s. But Bill Clinton was elected. Yes, and then when you actually go read, you're like, no, actually, this is what we want you to do. You're not doing it. Elaine Carmack, who worked for Bill Clinton back then.

This is what she said. The reinventing government program cut nearly a half million federal jobs and dispensed with a massive number of regulations. But according to the woman who ran the program under the Clinton administration, any similarities between that program and Doge in there. This is what she says. We cut fat and they cut muscle. It's as simple as that. We didn't have any meltdowns of agencies. We didn't have any dysfunction going on.

And we obeyed the law. When we thought something was wrong, we sent it to Congress and asked him to change it. That's it. But right now what you're saying, I think everybody in the room agrees. So why don't we all go, hey, let's give them the bone, right? Let's go, hey, Elon, you do it. You can do Doge. You can send those investigators out.

And you know what? We're not going to block that investigation. We're going to open those books to you. We're not going to block it just because it's some bipartisan bullshit. We're going to open the books. No. I'm blocking it because it's you, Elon Musk. No, but you don't have the authority to do this.

You're not listening. If there's any elected official that have the authority to do this from the president and the Senate, let's get it done. You're not listening. I'm saying the president should be allowed to, as you said, deputize a private investigation. If he wants to choose Elon, that's fine. What I'm saying is before anything that he suggests gets executed, it has to get passed through Congress. Do we do we think that's fair? I think that's really fair.

That's right. But I'm not fucking Mitt Romney or somebody. You cannot make change from inside. Then find somebody who's not the richest man in the world. We keep saying that, but Clinton did. It's pretty easy to find someone who's not the rich. Yeah, you can't be Elon. So now you've got a boner with Elon, and just because it's Elon, you're going to have an issue with it.

Yeah. Get over that shit. I can't get over that. By the way, by the way. You're not thinking it happens. You would be correct if we haven't seen him fuck up in two weeks. I can't imagine what it's like being in Congress. Listen, no.

We only got to do this one week. But listen, you're acting like we haven't seen him already fuck shit up? He's disqualified himself. He's disqualified himself. I'm giving you a separate hypothetical. I'm not talking about what's happening now and I'm not defending what's happening now. I'm trying to create a separate hypothetical. I'm doing you a pretty low bar.

Just don't bring me the richest guy in the entire fucking world to do this. I don't think. Bring you the 50th richest guy. I don't think that being the richest guy in the world, what is the word I'm looking for, precludes you from, what is it? Disqualified. I don't think that disqualifies you from doing the job. You believe it does because you think that he is incentivized by it. And there's a great argument for that.

There are tons of great argument. I saw John Stewart saying something about how Elon spent $270 million in the election, but he's made $2 billion. So now you know. Oh, no more than that. Well, it doesn't matter. The point that I'm trying to say is now you know how much money you can. get back. Yeah?

Not it costs. How much you can get back from that investment. Great ROI for Elon. Sure. I don't think that Elon is motivated by money when he's already the richest man in the world. No, no, no.

But it doesn't matter. My point being, I'm down with Elon, regardless of he is the richest guy in the world, looking into all the shit. But once you do the findings and you share with the American people, you have to go through the constitutional system that we have. That is the American way.

Is that fair? Can we just all agree on that? That is fair, but that's not happening. That's not happening. So let's get pushback on that and not get... We are! No, he's going, I don't want the richest guy in the world. I don't want the forest or a fox telling me how the henhouse is set up. Find a fucking chicken or a hand to do that.

But chickens can't set the shit up, right? Get a dog. Get a dog. Listen, I understand what both of y'all is saying. I want the fox. This is why the conversations... I want the fox's where all those chickens seem to come out on that. I understand what both of you are saying, but this is why the conversation should be about why this is unconstitutional,

why this is against the law, period. Do you believe in the Constitution or not? Do you know who you're talking to? That's my point. So if you believe in the constitutional constitution, you have to say this is unconstitutional. What am I suggesting? What I'm suggesting is we remove the execution of the finding.

Your hypothetical is on a point. That's all I'm saying. But we're talking about was actually. I know, but what I'm saying is if we make the conversation about the execution, not about him just going to look into it, then you get this unanimous support where you go, yeah, yeah, I don't know. we got one guy in the private sector that's just allowed to, with a swipe of the pen, fire hundreds of thousands of people.

Let's go Cash Patel. Let's go Tossey Gabbard, okay? You know, they're pushing back. That's family. They pushing back. Shout out India. Shout out India. Steve Bannon and they're pushing back.

Whoa, what, right? Steve Bannon. They pushing back. All I'm saying is, all I'm saying is government officials that believe in the Constitution are pushing back. That's all I'm saying. We want, if, government efficiency is a great thing. We saw it work in the 90s. It can work again.

It just needs to be done constituted. I want it done by the richest motherfucker. No, you don't. No, you don't. Because he got the most efficient. No, you don't. No, you don't. I want somebody appointed by the president,

confirmed by the Senate. All right, so you want AOC, whose experience of business is working as a bartender to go in and run the government? Well, check it out. Why are you doing that? No, talk about, time, time, time about.

I don't want that. I want somebody who understands how to run billion, A trillion dollar corporation to go in and see what the ad show. But Shodz. We're missing one key point that Clinton did that also Elon's not doing. He went to go talk to federal agents and workers. He worked hand in hand with them to see where the waste was. Fuck what he thought.

Let's go talk to the workers at these different places and these different organizations. But I agree with that. That's my point. So AOC could do that. No, what I'm saying is I agree with that after. So what I would love to do is see the findings. and then I want someone like AOC to go investigate those relationships. And I want to look into, you can get McKinley or whatever the other consulting firms to come in

and you can look at those findings and see where that excess is. It might not be excess when we actually do the deeper dive. But you need an outsider come and shake some shit up. It doesn't have to be Elon. You could pick the 50. If you could pick the 100, you could pick whoever the fuck you want. But this does need to happen. Yes.

Does these happen? Nobody's debate in it. And we all agree that it can happen in a more constitutional way. but I'm not against deputizing a private citizen to come in and look into this shit, open the books and be like, yo, this is crazy over here. Let's change it up.

Because we do need to change. I have no problem. I have no problem with somebody from the outside coming in if they're actually working hand-in-hand with federal agents and workers already in the system. See, yes, but I don't think that's what this is only about. I think this is about scaring people. I think this is about intimidating people.

I think it's about keeping them off balance. worried about their jobs, worried about speaking. Because that's why there's been this flurry. That's why they're the emails and you have to do this or you lose your job by 5 o'clock tonight. It's an intimidation game. It's not a level, thoughtful approach of this. No, especially when you're getting rid of people,

when you're getting rid of nuclear workers who oversee the nuclear stockpile and then realizing, oh, I need those people and they're wanting to hire them back. Not when you're getting rid of people that work at the USDA who are trying to contain bird flu, And you just fucking fired him.

And he'd be like, oh, no, we need those people. This is sending a message. The who? Stick your fucking head out. It's going to get chopped off. So you think that this is, he thinks it's like a political fear tactic, which is essentially if you give pushback to us in this administration as we try to make changes, we're going to use this Doge company to essentially fire the people that get in our way.

I think that's the most. Why do that as the expense of the national security of the country? No, no, no, no. I think that they obviously don't feel that it is at the expense of the national security of the country. I think that that is a rather pessimistic view of it. But I have to absorb that view if I want to have a more holistic understanding of this. I can't just write you off. Thank you.

I have to take that in and go, ooh, I have to consider it. I have to take in the fact that maybe some of these government deals could go to some of Elon's corporations and he could benefit from this. I have to look at all that. What if Elon was to come in and he would say, I want to do this Doge thing? But as part of our efficiency project, none of these programs can be transferred into any companies that I own. That would seem like that first thing. That would be great. Would you have more faith in it?

Yeah, but that should be the first thing. Again, now we're mincing like- Can I say one other thing, though? Because you said something true, too. You said, the show said something true. He said, you know, if you go looking and somebody says, well, I don't want you to look here, you're going to be suspicious. Is it not suspicious to go in and cut all of these companies and organizations that are investigating your shit? Elon?

Listen, a hundred percent, suspect. And if you're using it as a hammer and not a broom, the idea is to clean, right? You clean with a broom. You don't clean with a hammer. So if you're using as a hammer or a weapon to protect you in some way, now you know what's going to happen? We're going to lose faith in that government institution, if that's what Doge is. What we need right now is faith in America. Americans are disillusioned.

We don't trust the fucking vaccines. We don't trust the medical industry. We don't trust the government. We don't trust anything at this point. We don't trust the government, what's it called? When they do a deal just for like a building project, whatever that is. Trade deal? What do you mean?

Not even trade deals. When you do like bridges. We don't trust an infrastructure deal. We don't trust anything, okay? That is a problem. And I think the way you gain trust is by transparency. You are brutally open and honest. And we got to look at the ugly shit that's going on.

We got to take that shit on the chin and we got to move past it. What we've been doing for the last fucking 20 years is we've been peeing on ourselves. And when we pee, it's warm. The second you run out of pee, it gets cold and smelly and uncomfortable. That's why I don't understand why every president after Bill Clinton just didn't do what he did. And one thing that Bill Clinton did, and I keep stressing this in this conversation, employee-led reform. He went to those federal workers and asked them what needs to be done.

That's why these motherfuckers love bill. That's why you mean, let that man get his things suck. They didn't give a fuck. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? All the shit you hear about Bill over the other. Hey, that man made all lives better. I like this.

I agree with that, but also think about if you're going into a company and you're trying to ask that company or the workers there like, oh, what cuts do we need to make around here? They're going to be less likely to tell you everything that needs to be cut because they want to keep their job. They want to keep their funding. So it's like, hey, you're getting paid to do nothing. You're not going to tell Bill Clinton, yo, by the way, I'm doing jack shit. Yeah, you should probably fire me. Well, I understand what y'all saying, and that would make sense. But if you fire over 250,000 federal employees and you actually have a surplus every year in America because of what you've done, clearly it worked.

Clearly they got rid of the right motherfuckers. But he also had the doc-com. But those people were hurt. That helped a lot. Where they hurt? Not if they're wasting fucking our money. No, no, those people were hurt. We might not have been hurt, but those people lost their jobs are obviously hurt.

Sure. It's never good when people lose their jobs. The point is, we need reform. You don't like the way that they're going about it. And there are things that we can unanimously support that we change about the Doge methodology. But we need some Doge. I think we all agree on that. By the way, Elon started this conversation.

I'm worried about Elon. I want to say that. I think Trump is setting him up. I think Trump's setting this guy up. What did I edit out the podcast three weeks ago? I saw it. If you see it coming a mile away, this guy. Elon, run.

Yes. Brut Elon. I'm not even joking. Now. Now. Don't pack a bag. Get the, your wrist is fuck. This shit ain't worth it.

Go. What he doing ain't worth it. Listen, when people, when people say things to me and they'd be like, yo, Donald Trump really cares about this country. You know, that's the only reason he's doing it. I believe, I can believe that coming from him. Elon ain't got no reason to be doing what he's doing. None. Why?

He's got the most of the game from America being successful. Ron Elon. You don't want to go back to. Ron Elon. You pissed off all. His America thriving. helps him thrive. It helps him get to Mars

or whatever the hell he wants to do. If America is in a tough financial situation, you know the first thing to get clipped? The rocket ship to Mars. But why become the most hated man in America? He don't care. He don't care. Some of these guys don't care.

You have to understand. Charlie, mate, how long have you been dealing with hate? You get numb to that shit. You don't give a fuck. He's like, listen, they can hate me, but all these people that hate me own Tesla stock. So how much you hate it? It's different when somebody...

How much you hate me if all of y'all drive a Tesla? How much you hate me if you all on SACIS. I agree. I agree. How much you hate me if you're all on X? You hate me because your friends retweet you when you say shit about me. But at the end of the day, when you got to put some money into the stock market so your kids go to college, you're going to put it in my fucking company. So shut up.

I'm going to be honest with you. I can't describe how. I know what's going to happen. I think, yeah. See, I want to hear your theory, Chris, because I can't describe how. Eli is going to wake up one morning. Look in his ring. You know who's going to be standing out on the front porch?

The FBI? Cash Patel. That's right, man. Tell. What's up, man? How are you, man? You overstepped, Elon. You're good?

And you know, he never liked Elon. They're pulling up old podcast shit. He always was going after Elon. Run Elon. You said in May of 2023, this is important to all of us because Elon Musk is playing such a major role in the government right now. You said Elon Musk cares about two things, your data and his money. Do you still stand by those words? I don't have that entire quote, but that's what it says.

It was in a, you were angry because of an endorsement of Governor DeSantis in Florida. And so you were defending Donald Trump. And so you criticized Elon Musk. And that's what's the context for it. And you said, Elon Musk cares about two things, your data and his money. And it matters to us because he's playing such a major role in the government. And so I just wonder if you think that's true. I don't have that full quote in front of me to respond.

Where's he going to run? Take that rocket. And by the way, hold on. Cash can't take you up there. Chris, and we're going to believe this. We're going to, you know what we're going to do. We're going to bleep it. And when it happens in the future, we're going to unbelief it.

What did I edit out? I said he going to be going to listen to it. That's what going to happen. Cash has already signaled for it. When I saw Cash put that statement out and then Tulsi followed him and then Mark Rubio and Hegsef, I said, oh. Oh, Elon then stepped in it now. Elon's unstepped in it now.

Trump's in the best position there. He could take credit for all Elon's wins and blame Elon for all. How many Seas for those rockets? It's beautiful. Bro, there's a great line. There's a great line in Game of Thrones. And it's when Littlefinger is saying to Circe,

he goes, there's one thing I learned my whole life or something like that is that knowledge is power. And then Circe walks up to him and Searcy got her guards and she goes, guards, apprehend him, take a knife, put it to his throat, and slit his throat. And they go up and they're about to slit his throat. She goes,

guards, stop. Step back two feet. Step back four feet. And then she goes, power is power. Dang. That's what Cash, Tulsi, and Hegseth are reminding Elon. And I like that. Money is not power. I like that. Money can

influence power, but at the end of the day, power is Power. And you know how else you know that? And those people have power. Shultz is absolutely right. And I'll tell you another reason you know that. You know that because when you look at Donald Trump and, you know, the executive order

he signed for the FCC, right? Where he's like, basically he doesn't want the FCC to operate as an independent agency. He wants to be the checks and balances for it. That right there is he's grabbing the media by the pussy. Because you can have a TV station. You can have a radio station. But guess what? And you can be the richest people in the world that own.

these platforms. But guess what you need to operate? All right. FCC fucking license. Yep. So it don't matter what you own. Yeah. What money you have. If that man threatens you and says, hey, we're not going to renew your license, are we going to pull your license? Guess what you're going to do? Get in motherfucking line. Now, here's the thing. What's what sitting politicians need to do right now is they need to have honest reflection. If the American people have become so disillusions and our politicians that we're willing to let the richest guy on the planet,

it's not even from here, come in and do sweeping firings of all the government agencies. That's not a reflection on him. That's a reflection of you guys in power and how disillusioned we have become and how untrustworthy we are or how untrustworthy you are. We've lost faith in you guys and your ability to command our government spending. So now we're willing to let this stranger come in and just start firing people willy-nilly You have to reinstill our faith You don't do that by going rich bad guy bad guy rich

Well poor politicians also bad So who the fuck can we trust you're right but to that point there are y'all gotta do better Why are you waiting for this guy to come in and fire some people or reorganize some shit? Why aren't you guys doing this? Why isn't there committing every single year? Why the fuck haven't we audited the Pentagon once? I go back I go back to what I said earlier I don't know why every single president in the history of America after Clinton just did not continue to follow that move. Well, maybe because there are some companies out there that are telling them that's not what you're supposed to do for the next four years. Well, you're absolutely right. So sometimes money is power.

No, you're absolutely right. It's interesting, though, because I watch out Jeff Bezos. I watch out Zuckerberg. I watch all of them bow down to Trump. Because power is power. Power is fucking power, baby. That's a fucking bad. All right.

That's the brilliant that's political talk for the day. Got them. Yeah, let's pay some bills and we come back and get to some bullshit. Yo! We got these church announcements.

Helic Kyle Walker! You already know, March 4th. Tuesday, March 4th of Life is on Netflix. We're watching as a family, man. I want everybody tune it in. Put that shit on from the morning to the night,

have it going the entire day. Let's run this fucking thing up, man. I can't motherfucking wait. March 4th of Life. I believe. leave Andrew Schultz is going to win an Emmy. Thank you, man. Yeah, I just think it's very, very personal.

I was very confused earlier because when you posted the goddamn promo and I reposted it, this is what popped up on my motherfucking feed. This shit said, low sperm count awareness and comedy special about infertility. Pretty good. AI is pretty good. But why?

Or how? Some of the lines in the promo are about that. Yeah. He's watched the whole thing. I did, but I didn't think that that's what you would get from, like, why? AI's listening to it. Just that. AI is listening to all that shit.

Him and Matt Damon was talking about? Because the AI doesn't know it's a joke. So they think it's real. This is just a talk about. They didn't say anything about single fathers. He was in there by himself, no woman. You know what I mean? With the baby.

He was like single father talks to Martian. They didn't say nothing to, you know. They didn't say it. It wasn't any of the dialogue. The AI's not good enough. That's the thing. Pretty one day they're going to be. Well, they're going to know.

The life, baby. March 4th, man. What's that? Next Tuesday. I can't fucking wait. Thank you, brother. Yeah, we got to run it up. Brilliant idiots. Run it to fuck up.

Let's go. No, I mean, I can't wait just because I like to see. Here's the thing, man. When people can't stop your momentum, the only thing they can do is hate on it. So that's going to be the best part. The best part is watching all of these motherfuckers sit around and make all these YouTube videos

and then it's going to be motherfuckers debating and arguing and that's what's going to make it great. You realize that's what makes everything great nowadays. It's just the conversation that something starts. That's why you got to let people talk. Let people talk. Like you can't win everybody over.

And by way, everybody you don't hate you. Most of the motherfuckers that actually like you and support you aren't on social media. Exactly. But the ones that are, oh, they're going to go hard. They're going to go hard. And we appreciate it. hard. We appreciate it. And they really can't shit on you because you're shitting on yourself,

the whole special. You know what I'm saying? They find a way. I mean, that's the way they make money, man. They make money criticize an art. Yeah, that's true. I call it, it's a, it's a social media economy of engagement through enragement. Yes, engagement through enragedment. That's what they do. 100%. That's what they do. But you've got to let people talk, man. And you got to, and at least for me, the way I look at it is like, I see the people when they come to the shows and I just, I can hope that they have those, that incredible experience that they remember.

That's what to argue with somebody when you just sold out an arena. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, okay, I respect you for having your opinion, but there's 15,000 people here that think I'm funny, so fuck you. Exactly. Seriously, that's how you got to look at things.

Listen, I want y'all to put the graphics up to. Of course you can put the graphics up for the life, but put the graphics up. Tamika Mallory, book, I live to tell the story. It's in bookstores now. Anita Copax, the win on her tongue. as in bookstores down. I mean, my book in print,

Black people was publishing through Simon Ashusa has a lot of different books out but those are the two books that came out this year and we have another book that is releasing in May,

May 20th, to be exact, it is from the icon living, the legend who has shaped culture and broke so many barriers, the coach of the University of South Carolina women's basketball team,

Don Stanley. Her book will be out uncommon favor. on March, I mean, on May 20th, 2025, man. Uncommon favor, basketball, North Philly, my mother and the life lessons I learned from all three. Let me tell you something. We announced Don Staley's book on Friday.

She's already a number one bestseller. The audio version is already a number three bestseller, and the book doesn't come out until May 20th, 2025, man. Because, you know, Don Staley is one of those people who has literally redefined greatness in real. time. Like, I personally believe that when we look back and we look at, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, women's basketball has always been there. But how women's basketball just surged in our era, you're going to look back to when Don Stanley became the coach of the University of South Carolina in 2008, when she was able to, you know, keep Asia Wilson home in South Carolina. And now she's built that dynasty down. there at my wife's alma mater, the University of South Carolina. Through that whole time, you saw the Caitlin's coming to college and the Angel Reese's,

all of those people. But when you look at who I personally believe, and I'm only just being very self-serving here, when I really, really, really started paying attention women's basketball was because Donald Staley becoming the coach university of South Carolina in 2008. And also because my wife was a cheerleader. So I used to always watch all the Gamecocks sports anyway. Are the girls the Gamecocks too? Yes.

Let it go. Let it fly. Just let it fly. There's something that I see it. Nothing at all. I just want to know if they have the same mascot. Yes. Cucky.

He's a chicken, a bird. His name is cocky. His name is cocky. Got it. Shout out to Cucky. Okay. University of South Carolina Gamecox. That's right.

Got it. I mean, a cock is, it is weird that a cock is a, a female. A cock is female, right? A chicken is... I don't know. A rooster is male. And a cock is... I thought cock was the other name for a rooster. Well, what is a hen?

Oh, so a chicken is a hen. Okay. And then a rooster is... I don't know. Yo, nobody really respects... What's rooster meat like? Rooster and Marari? What is rooster meat?

Like, how do you ever ate a rooster? It's a fertile adult male chicken. So, so just out of curiosity. Oh, so that's what they call Dick's Cox. Yeah. Yeah. But have we ever tasted cock? I don't think so.

You know what I'm saying? Because we don't know, right? We only eat. Nobody's going to clip that one part. You're going to see that one part on the timeline for years to come. Have we ever tasted? And I'm not repeating it because I want to all say something with that. Netflix March for it.

That's right. No, no. But that is a good point. Like, what does rooster taste like? We don't eat rooster beer as the, rooster has to impregnate all the cocks. You only need one rooster. That's crazy because there's a rooster. What's that spot in Harlem called? Red rooster. Have you ever actually eaten rooster? Go to the- I never thought about it. I don't think the meat is that's good for either. So what's better? The cock? No. Chicken. Have you ever eaten? Child. But why do you think cock? We must not eat female chickens because we want to keep them a lot.

All chickens are female. All chickens are female. Cocks are male. But what I want to know is, what is what is. chickens are chickens. It's like humans, but it's male-female. So it's like chickens. And then it's cocks and hens. So you're saying there's cock? Let's Google that. Google was the difference between a roosting and a cock. And Alex said cock taste better. But sometimes it's like, don't do that. When you have a chicken wing, when you got a chicken wing and you're just sucking a meat off the bone, you could be sucking a meat off a bone of a cock and you don't even know. How does fuck have I never said that to somebody? Yo, that cock's pretty tasty. That cock is delicious. Because you don't know if it's a cock, you assume it's hen.

But there's a lot of times they sneak a rooster in there, and now you suck in a bone dry of a cuck. The moral of the story is Uncommon Favor is in Book, Cores. May 20th, 2025 by the legendary Don Staley. Go pre-order that now. Get that. Let's get back to the show. What we got, Taylor, gang.

What we got? Oh, medium, ugly. Great topic. Great topic. Where did this come from? I already came from Glorilla. I did. Is this a new Gloria record?

Yeah. This it wasn't on her album, was it? Man, I love Glorilla. Shout to Gloria. That's one of my friends. And Georgiana, I tried to put y'all up on Georgiana months ago. Who the fuck is Georgiana? There's other girl in it, man.

Huh? There's another girl in here. Yeah. Georgiana, I've been trying to put y'all on game, but you guys don't listen to me. I know about every rapper that comes out before y'all do. I say you make fun of me and then they pop the fuck off. I don't know who Georgiana is, but look to Georgianna. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Let me hear this line about this cock. Next thing. Shoot the Shooter. Uh-huh. Duke Dennis was sold. Shoot. Uh-huh. Okay.

So that's, uh, Duke Dennis listening to the song, basically, where she said, when she says, um. Like my niggas, tall and brown. What else? It mixed through the little bit of ugly. Uh-huh. They say shoot to, shoot. Uh-huh. Duke Dennis was sold.

Those, those two, those two lines are separate. Right. No, they weren't. No. As both, good if they weren't. I can't, like, uh-huh's in between. No. That was, that was-

No, bro. So good. First of all, dude, you need to be in Glorilla's DMs right now. Immediately. Immediately. Why, he looked like future, don't he? Yeah. Yeah, he looked like future.

I didn't want to say it. Listen, Duke, you need to be in Glorilla's DM because what she says, she like her guys, tall and brown. I don't know if you're tall because you're sitting down. Mix with a little bit of ugly. There's nothing wrong. But there's the two words after that.

Yeah, what's not? Shoot a shoot. Shoot a shoot. I'm shooting my shot. Duke Dennis, what's up with you? Hey, get hit. Man, you better be in her DM. Get hit.

With a picture like that, that picture that Taylor showed us earlier. Oh, no. Oh, that's too much. You don't want that. Don't jump out the window. Don't jump out the window with a Louisville slugger. Don't just show her the hen.

Don't just let her see the hen out the tops. You don't let her just see the hand? Huh? The hen is the vagina. Oh. Well, shout out the d. Duke Dennis. Yeah.

That was a great shoutout. You need to be in our DM. But girls do like, girls do like a little ugly mix in their dudes. You don't want two pretty dudes, I've realized. It's subjective. No, but for real, like, like the pretty guy. Like, name like a pretty guy.

Wait, wait, no, somebody gave a good, somebody said earlier, they called and they talked about Aaron Pierre, the guy that played Mufasa. They said he's so pretty, he looks weird. That's the same. Girls don't want the dudes. You're the dude to be too pretty.

You want a little bit of ugly mixed in. Let's stay on that, though, because I've been waiting for some hate. I've been waiting for some hate on Aaron. Go ahead. I personally don't. I don't know, Aaron. Bring up a picture of Aaron.

I'll tell you how hot. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'll objectively just hateing for no. I'm only hating just because people love him so much. People, I think, like him. I think they get distracted because his eyes are nice. What's his name?

Aaron. Aaron, what? Aaron, you're fucking whacked off to him. Aaron the plumber. The goat. Oh, all right. But a woman called and said that he's so pretty that he's, He looks strange.

That's the thing. Girls don't want guys too pretty because they feel unsecure. But then how do you feel about your wives thinking you're a little ugly? They find

ugly hot. Yeah, beauty is in the eye of a hold of. It's a little bit. I'm medium ugly. You got to be a little ugly. If you're just pretty, you're gay.

It's true. They think all really pretty guys are gay. Do you not? I do. Pretty in what way? What do you like? Like, bottom looking. Like this,

like this guy, if you told me he was gay, I was thinking. That guy's so fucking hot. It's unbelievable. Let me tell you. He can't be straight. No, Envy lost it this morning

talking about him. Yo, I'm not even joking. Shout out to Aaron Pia. I don't know you, brother. I'm just fucking with you. Yo. Inby lost it. Aaron, you're too handsome, yo.

Listen, let me tell you how. Let me tell you how Envy lost it. You lost it because Lauren and the girl on the phone was going back and phone by Aaron. And then Envy goes, yeah, yeah, he got the ears. The what? The what? What the fuck you mean?

You got to go to ears to hate on a dude. Shut up, you fraggle bag. Yeah, you were fragged up. Oh, envy? You know how you know how you know? How? Because when you think about the ears, you know what you think about? Holding a fucking handleball.

Oh, God. You know what I'm saying? Handleball. Handlebone. Handle, man, asshole, motherfucker. Let me hear you raw. Let me hear you raw. Let me hear you raw, Mufaster.

Oh, my God. What? What? What? What happened? Show them a whole new world, though. That's a different. That's a different one.

What is a circle of life? Show him a wheeler rain. I think No, he's too handsome, bro. But me and ugly, I think, depends on, like, if it's a debate, I think, to me. It's like Morris Chestnut, he's universally cute to everybody.

Come on, talk to us. I mean, I know. Why would you pick it? Yo, bring Morris Chestnut up. Hold on. Bring Morris Chestnut up. I would be honest. Dark-skinned dudes get to just be handsome.

Oh, no, no. No, no. I know, it's true. Darkly dudes get to be handsome. I got a theory. I got a whole theory of the melinated man. Dark-skinned men are the only people who can be handsome. Oh, God.

Everybody, you know, dark-skinned men are the only one that can be handsome. Yo, when y'all talk about them beige people, y'all say pretty and fine. When they come to that hardcore handsome, just like that fine age bottle of pity. Jalen Hertz? Huh? Jalen Hertz.

Gay? You're gay, Chris. Why would he recommend that? Why? Why? He been waiting to get that off. You think Jaylen Hurst's mine, Chris? But, but, God.

He didn't wait for the comment when he could share his feelings about somebody. God, damn. I thought you just wanted to the Super Bowl. No. God, damn, Chris, that's crazy. That's my quarterback.

Chris, that's my quarterback. No, okay. You want to be frank. You want to sit up. Mike. Hyke. Hike. Blitz.

You guys are missing a push-push joke right there. It's hanging. No, what I'm saying is, Dark skin dude, to his point, dark skin dudes get to just be handsome and there's no caveats. That's not true. Name a dark skin dude that's handsome that they also call gay. Tray Song.

First of all, Trayson is not dark skin. And who calls Tray Song's gay? A lot of people. Really? I don't know. You sit with him every day. A fine dark skin man that people call gay. But me, you want to know what the real is.

Because they hear you on his podcast every week. Yeah, he's sweating. You don't even believe it. Look at his mouth. Y'all bringing up to me the hands in the men. Hey, somebody brings me some issue in here, man. Fucking, y'all ain't hit this name and all these handsome men. Y'all went from Aaron Pierre to Marr's chestnut.

No, goddamn. It's because dark. Chris yelling out jailing hurts for no reason. Dark skin dudes get to be masculine, the matter what, and light skin dudes are looked at as soft. That's not, I mean, okay. Light skin dudes like me are looked at as soft. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We need to be a little, medium, ugly.

No, so we could be here. You know, white-skinned guys get called? What? Good-looking white guys be called attractive. Yeah. Now, they get told people. No, you don't. Austin Butler, Austin Butler is pretty.

Who is that? Man, I'm not explaining. What about Austin Butler? Yeah. I'm not going to explain. What does the New Magazine thing? People magazine says the most attractive, Austin Butler is pretty.

Let's go. He's pretty. That motherfucker's pretty. Brad Pitt is pretty. No, nobody's calling Baldoni pretty. Now, Baldoni is dark skin. Austin look a little methies. No, Justin Baldoni is dark skin white.

He looked a little messy, yo. He don't look a little messy. He don't look a little messy. Before he dated. Hold on, hold on. Listen, Austin, Bully don't look a little messy? We're going to get there. We're going to get there.

We're going to get there. Now, Travis Kelsey. Before he dated Taylor Swift. Before he did he was fine, he's fine, but he's medium ugly. No, he's not. Yes, he is. He is medium ugly. He's not full of it. He's not pretty.

Like, okay. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Pretty. Beautiful. He's beautiful. That's what's beautiful. No, no, no. Let him get off his chest.

You said that. Zach Ephron. Justin Bieber is pretty too. Young Zach Ephron. You have, you are wild. Yo, Chris is going. He got a list. Why don't you say they got a list?

If you had just said Zach Ephron, if you said, young, Zach Ephron? Yo, we got us on it. He put an age on it. You won't get deported. You don't get deported. This is crazy. Craig Chris says me telling his daughter's like,

yo, you want to see the new Zach Ever? I got tickets with the new Zach Ever. Justin Bieber is pretty too, though. Justin Bieber, pretty. That's the problem. When you're white skin, when you're light skin, we got to be medium, ugly, to be considered handsome. Nobody called.

When you're dark skin, I don't even know if you're dark skin anymore. But when you're dark skin, you just, masculinity is just assumed so you get to be handsome. Am I dog skin? You're brown. Either way, I'm handsome. My point is there's a certain level of melanin that makes you handsome, and there's a certain level of melanin that makes you pretty.

When you're on the beige side, you're pretty. When you're white, you get caught attractive. What do the people magazine do? No, they do say sexy. That's what they use words like sexy for you. And that's a girl term, like a man being sex. That's what people magazine does. They do the most sexiest man alive.

That's my point. And that's what they call Matthew McConaughey, Brad Pitt those guys. They're sexy. Handsome white people are dark-skinned white people. George Clooney, dark-skinned white. Justin Baldoni, dark skin white. Name dark skin white. White is curbing.

Yeah, we got dark skins too. Are you talking about the brunette, the hair color? Yeah, just dark. Everything's dark on him. Who, Chris, go. Off white. Huh? It's off white.

Not the off white. I thought you was yelling out Offset. I'm like, damn, you're offset fine. Who? I'm like, Chris's letting it fly. Chris said Jailen Hurts. Fucking young Zach Hepford and Offset. God damn.

You know who else is, me of me him ugly? What is his name? Kofi. A nun? What's his last name? What did they say about him? He's handsome.

Cofy Kingston? But he's his, he's just a beautiful guy. I know. Listen, I get it. Please stop drooling with us. But, but, but, but. Listen, 90s, 90s. 90s.

90s rom-com fine. I'm 90s rom-com fine. But can we just- Andrew is like 80s, 80s sexy. So, Ty Leppie. I got a little bit, shell. Because I'm white-skinned. Wait.

I'm telling you, if you are dark-skinned white. He's light-skinned. He's light-skinned. Name some attractive whites. Go. Dark skin whites. Not pretty. Name just an attractive white. Think about it. Think about it. You know. Chris over there bricked up. Go ahead, Chris. Go ahead, Chris. Chris. Go ahead, Chris. Go ahead. Chris. Go ahead. Chris. Well, I would say

once considered the best looking white man in the world. Who? Bruce Reynolds? Bert Reynolds. Burnton. Dark skin white. Also, uh, an Italian. Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando. Marlon Bryant, dark skin white. If you're a dark skin white. I see what you're handsome. It's the hair color.

It's all of it. It's dark skin. Now is Robert Redford. Who's that? Young Robert Redford pretty or handsome? Okay. Okay. Okay.

Perfect one. Let me hit you right now. Sean Connery. Dark skin white. James Bond. Dark skin white. That's a dark skin white. He's handsome.

Light skin whites, bright skin whites like myself. Weird. We got to be a medium ugly to be considered handsome. What do you think of him? Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt was too. He was pretty. He wasn't even.

considered like hands. So he's a light skin white. He's a light skin white. That's the point. What he's thinking him? Do you think he's pretty or not? This is a good, this is good. Who is he? Why are we talking about him? First of all, calm down. This is a great actor named Tyler. Yeah, we're going to tell dude. He doesn't know. Taylor, what you said is true. Like this is like, it's a handsomeness. Even though he's the beige, it's a handsomeness. That's the thing. Light skin, light skin black dudes need a beard to even be in the conversation. You might be right about that, yo. They can't even be in the conversation of handsome without a beard because y'all are so discriminatory towards the light skin.

Aaron needs a beard. Yeah, he does. By the way, it worked for Travis Kelsey. Because it's more masculine. When Travis grew the beard out. Yeah. You know what I mean? When he don't consider light skins.

That's what you like them. That's what you like. Fears in general are just great, though. You should just have a beer, period. Yeah, well, not everybody can fucking grove me. I'm not even joking. You know why I cut mine off? God damn.

You know why I cut mine off? Because it was patchy. No, I cut my beard off. because it was too much. Yeah, the girls couldn't handle. It was unbelievable. It was ridiculous, y'all. I saw those breakfast club interviews.

Oh my God. It was unbelievable. I'm at the TSA. Ladies want to pat me down all crazy. Feeling for me. I got time for that. Feeling for me. You know what I mean? Let me get back to just be in 90s,

I'm fine. I'll come back to the bid when I'm 50. Get this guy off the thing. This is uncomfortable. Get this guy off the thing. When I'm 50, I'll come back to the bid. When saying all that to say, Duke Dennis, You need to be in Glorilla's DMs right now.

What are you doing? Okay. You guys is handsome, too. He is? Yeah. Okay. He had nice tea. Well, you know what, though?

I see what Glorilla did. I see what Glorilla did. She tried to, what's the term, neg him? She tried to bring him down so that he would go, Ooh. That's right. Girls are getting good. That's right.

I don't know why I just caught that. I didn't, because I didn't see the video. But we were talking about on Brewera Club's going, but that's exactly what she did. It was a nag. You know, you ever read, uh, not the artist of Duck. Yeah, it's the, what was that book from? Neil Strauss. Neil Strauss.

The Bible, the pickup Bible, pickup artist. Yeah, so hold, I'm going to tell you right now. Bible. Pickup artist, 100%. Oh, no, I definitely, I definitely read that book. But he said he has nice teeth, but he wears grills. How do you know what his teeth was? Yo, yo, yo.

The game. The game. The game. Yeah. Yo, yo, yo. We don't got a hate on the man. We don't got a hate on the man. Hey, you know, he was just saying, like she's saying.

There's a lot of medium ugly women that nobody talks about. I need you going to bring that up. Let's know. The wigs, the makeup. Do we like, okay? Do men feel more comfortable? Do we feel more comfortable with medium ugly women? Let's be honest, let's have a conversation about it.

Well, here's the thing that women have that men have never had. When we were young, when we were young, we talked about. Other way around. It don't matter, we shoot, shoot a shit. You know, shoot or shoot. There was a time when we used to say, Butterfell face. So he said everything looked good but her face. So if a woman

had a body, it didn't matter what she looked like in the face. For the night. Yeah, I don't think that works for men. There's a calculation. It's what was the term? What was it? Kiana was saying it. What was it? It's like how much effort for the nut? I forgot the

how much effort the guy has to put in? Yeah. Orgasm. And with like some super pretty dime piece, whatever, it might be like 10 dates before you get that nut. But with the Butterface, it might be that night. So you calculate that. You go, okay, this is worth it for this night because I don't have this 10 dates of time. Yeah, and see, women present, right? So you see a woman, you can see that she has a nice body. Can't really see that with guys too much off the top. Or that guy that you showed us Taylor with the fucking 20 inch cock. That's six inches wide, seven inches wide. You don't, that don't show. How you know, Diane? I know. I'm just guess. I'm just, you know why? Because I was thinking about how tall my nine-year-old is. And I'm like, that don't know. That's how. I'm just, you know why? Because I was thinking about how tall my nine-year-old is. And I'm like, that. I'm like, that. That shit was at least four three. What is going on?

Kids and dicks at the same house. Why? Cut that whole shit. I'm talking about the size. The guy's got a dick the size of a nine-year-old. What do you want me to do? This guy, okay, six-year-old. The guy's got a dick the size of a six-year-old.

Let's get dicks and kids not in the cell. But you know what I'm saying. Nobody can when 50 cents said he had guns the size a little bow-wow. Okay, that guy's got a penis the size the little bow-wow. A young little bow-wow. The guy's got a penis the size of a young little bow wow. Does that make you feel better? Jesus Christ.

I mean, the shit was like a sleeping bag. That shit was huge. Charlie, you had it when you put those two water bars together. Huh? That was a little longer than that. His dick was- No, man. No, no, that shit was crazy. Wait till you put the picture up and just put the blur on it.

Show Chris. I didn't know what you would do. Chris, put the mic to your lips and I want Taylor to see it. I just want your reaction. Not what you think. See what I'm saying? Chris's laptop closed by itself. You see what I'm saying, man.

Now, that guy's, that guy's criminal. Jesus. What else we got, Taylor? Yeah, we need something else. Jesus. But shout out all the medium ugly dudes out there. We out here, baby. All of what women really want.

What is keeping it? We're doing all memes matter right now. What is keeping it on? This is just what's going on with Neo. I don't know if y'all have any take on it. He got all the wives or something like that? Yeah. Neil got four girlfriends.

Hey, man. Salute. Let me hear what he said. What do you say about this? What do you say? Times are tough, man. Eggs are expensive. You know, now is the time to get multiple wives.

Real talk. He's on the Ricky Smiley show. He's not even wives. It's just girlfriends. I'm just saying, like, now girls need, they need provisions. He says Ricky, he's on Ricky Smiley Show and Neil is, let me see. What does it say? Basically, it's telling his, um.

Mother of Neil kids calls him out of exposing him to his calamitous. It's Polynesian sauce lifestyle. Let's listen. Like to his kids, though, he's being honest with his kids. Questions about that? About your relationship? Of course they do. And I answer them.

Yeah. Okay. Honesty. Again, I'm not lying to nobody, not even my children. Hey, this is, this is daddy's girlfriend. And so is that. And so is that. And so is that.

You got no problem. She's going to make you some cereal. And she's going to cook lunch. And she's going to wash the clothes. Come on. It's family. It's community. Do your kids have questions about it?

Here the thing, man. this is what I think about when I think about how much money is Neo making to be able to have four girlfriends like him having four girlfriends that's on him I ain't tripping off it because you know if all of them are cool with it who would we

to have an opinion? I just want to know how much money you make it. But here's the thing like once that guy's a lot for like 30 mil you got four girlfriends and kids I don't think 30 about think about think about think about think about once you have the house that has enough rooms for them the cost is not that much more

You know what I mean? They like expensive gifts. But they could share it. Full girlfriends and kids. Yotes. How many kids you have? I don't know. He lives with them though.

Is that the better way to go about it or the way Nick Cannon does? Yo, Nick got to be the richest human being on planet. Well, Nick is different because Nick just got a bunch of kids. We don't know if Nick has a bunch of girlfriends. This seems so exhausting. But he takes care of all of them. But he takes care of all of it. This seems so exhaust.

Having to eat four pookies on Valentine's Day. Eat four pussies just manage them emotionally. All them telling you what they had to do in their day. Like, you got to be in a post with each one of the. I got to interview Neil soon. You got to get, yeah, yeah, that might be. I need to get to the body. I need to know if they all have sex together.

I need to know, like, where did you meet all of them? Like, did you have one and then y'all picked up another one? Like, what, how did this happen? Did you eat all four vaginas on Valentine's Day? Isn't it having one exhausting? Do you only do it on Valentine's? But you're, I think y'all missing a point. No, I'm just saying in general, but the Valentine's Day supposed to be that day.

I think I'll miss it. Is that why you got wax? Yo, I'm going to tell you something about that wax. Best decision I made in my mom. How did it grow back? It's still, it's not happening yet. You still bald? Bro.

Wow. Go get motherfucking wax. I'm telling you, it's a game changer. Y'all going to, you all going to learn. You know, I can't believe you did that. Why? None of us. Because that shit really does hurt, and I can't believe you.

It's not going to hurt the next time I go. Yes. So they said, the more you go, the less it hurts. Yeah, this is the second time. You think he says it's about to be, like, done after? I think so. I'm going to say that. No.

I wish y'all could feel my balls. I'm not even joking. Because, you know, as men, we all do the Al Bundy and shit, the way them shit feel with no hair on them. I'm like, why do we, why did God even put hair there to begin with? But the balls is crazy, though. But when it gets stubby, isn't it going to like. The balls didn't even, wasn't even the part that hurt the bulls. Really?

No, it was everything around it. The ball was. wasn't really that bad. Go get waxed. I promise you it's the best thing you will ever do. How long do you have to let it grow out before you can wax?

I go, she told me to come every six weeks. She told me six. I don't know. You go every four? You told me every six. You had your shit waxed before Shultz? If I didn't do it again. Why?

So it's a whole, I'm like lazy, dude. I'm not going to go and let some fucking Ukrainian woman yank at my balls, girl. I love it. I love it. Alex, just try it. Do your butt hole and do like...

Nah, you got to do the balls. Doing the top feels weird. You know, it's weird to go do it after he did it. That just makes it weird. I don't know. The first man to get a wax? You are the first guy I know who's gotten away. Nah.

That's not gay. Yeah, you're the first straight guy to do it. This is like your mental health. A little crooked. A little crooked. It's debatable. We're all a little crooked, right? 545. 545. What's 545? What's 545?

On the clock. What is that? What is that? This? If you're straight at 6 o'clock, 545. Let's give you got 15 minutes. How do you know all these gay terms, man? We got out 15 minutes. At 6 o'clock, that's what it stops. Give us another thing. I got to go back straight at 6. Oh, okay. What else we got to tell? I'm sorry. What is I'm sorry?

Did y'all see this? Like, he just... Oh, this is crazy. No, this makes me sad. I don't even... Ugh. NFL sports analyst Steve Smith, Sr., accused of sleeping with a married woman. Husband post-aleged text exchange and phone conversation with Steve. You've been fucking my wife, bro. You knew she was married. You're having the wrong conversation with the wrong person, my man. Is the actual phone call?

Yeah. Yo, this shit is... Let me hear him. I didn't hear you. Yeah, you've been fucking my wife, bro. What you got to say for yourself? I'm sorry. Yeah.

You're sorry? Yeah, that's... You fucking knew she was married. How's it? You're not a fucking idiot, man. You're fucking Steve Smith, Steve Smith, Sr. I, he's a fan.

What kind of dumb shit was that? Why? Steve still on the phone? Yeah. Why are quiet, man? Be a fucking man. Why is Steve still on the phone with that? Steve? I wouldn't even admit to that shit. Hey, you know, Steve. He got the text messages and everything.

Hey, hi. A bunch of selfies going back and forth. Yeah, I can't make that much. All right, turn that shit off. First of all, I'm sorry is crazy. All right? I'm sorry. is wild. But once again, my man, I don't know his name, what's his name? There's no need to have

all that smoke for Steve and Steve Smith. The smoke should be for your wife. Yeah, but he's blowing up Steve shit because Steve's married as well. Oh. Okay, Steve should have laid with that. I didn't know that part. Okay. Are we sure about this?

Yeah. No, I get that. You're going to fuck my shit up. I'm fucking your shit up. Let's go. Are you sure that Steve Smith is married? I'm pretty sure. But they might have an arrangement. So now you blew him up for nothing. I guess you're going to still put some stress on his wife and his marriage.

Nah, I get that. You're going to come for somebody else's household. They got every right to come for yours, man. But is he going to leave his wife, though? Who? The guy. He got it. Oh, well, it's okay.

What? Well, look. She's, that's... What's okay? Oh, she's white? No, no, no, that's his current wife. Okay. So it's okay?

That's okay? That's okay? Because she's white? I'm not saying. It's okay. That's crazy. I'm saying. I'm saying. That's what you said.

And you would approve it too. No, I just asked. I said she's right. I know that's what Taylor was going. I'm just saying like, I'll be more. Hold on. That shit said is Steve Smith Sr. Married?

Click on that. No, under that, under that one. It said it's Steve Smith, Sr. Married. All we know about and it's Steve to Steve, too, man. Steve was the first podcast that we launched on Black Effect, where we launched five years ago to cut to it podcast with Steve Smith Sr. Um, make it bigger?

That's what she said. Steve Smith, Sr. has been accused of infidelity by him. I don't want to know if he's married tonight. And you're supposed to be including... He is. Okay. That's rough. She met Steve Smith Sr. at work.

But you should see other dude's wife. I'm like... Is she bad? No. Like, why he's doing it? A little medium... Lusper. It's like less than me.

Yeah. What the body look like, though. Clinton. Oh, it could have been a butter. Clinton. What the fuck? I'm just saying. Yo.

My God, Mike, what's right? What does he? No, but you fuck who's close? Like, if it's just a one-time thing, he's not trying to like. You're looking at. I mean, we can't. What? Oh, man.

What? What? This is sad. What I want to tell married couples, man, just be honest. Because you'll be surprised what either one of y'all would allow. But when you get, like, it's hard to recover from betrayal. Yeah. You lied to me.

Public commiliation. You're publicly embarrassed me. Yeah. You're coming home to me, sleeping with me every night, knowing you doing it with this guy, like this is the betrayal. I can't trust you anymore. I might come to you and say, hey, I want to have a Polynesian-Saw relationship. Or hey, I want to have a girlfriend.

You might come to me and say, you want to have a Polynesian-South relationship. You want to have a boyfriend. Or you might just want to get a little dick on the side. You know what I'm saying? You might be adventurous. This guy in the North Face is out there. with a 20-inch. He's out there with bow wow in his pants. He's okay. And what do you support? Come on. I don't know. There's certain things I can't provide. And there might be certain things

that that person can't provide. But we both love each other. We come home. We mind our business. All I'm simply saying is that wouldn't work for me. But I'm just simply, simply telling you ought to be honest in a relationship. You don't want to, you rather this? No. This is gross. When women cheat is. It's fucking disgusting. I don't even like, I'm be honest with you. I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't even like when women cheat in movies. Damn.

When I'm watching a movie and a woman cheats, I watch this shit like, yo, who the fuck? You're being biased. Why do you don't think it's disgusting for a guy? Because you know what women should do? Because you letting some fucking stranger inside your body. I agree. But instead you could go inside a stranger's body? No, we don't cheat.

Black men don't cheat. White men don't really cheat either. White, listen, first of all, white men would rather kill. you didn't cheat on you. There's no it's true. White men would rather kill you than cheat and I'm a killer. I'm going to go on with my family. Is that not honorable

a little bit? They are the only ones that do that. That's what I'm saying. A white man would rather kill his white and then go on to be with his other family. And that's her fault. She was like, you'll never cheat on me. I'm like, of course I won't. Right. Oh, you dead? It's something to that. It's something to that. All I'm simply

saying is, man, just being honest. What's wrong? I'm being honest with your partner. Nothing's wrong with it, but, you know, sometimes it doesn't go that way. Man, that shit sucks. Why would that girl text that man those things? And what if you confront your woman for cheating? You're like, yo, did you cheat on me? And she'll be like, a little bit.

What the fuck you mean a little bit? You just said to be honest. Which one is it? What is a little bit mean? No. And then she never tells you with a little bit mean. Oh, and then you just got to think about it. You just think it went in a little.

Nah, that shit is gross What is a little bit? When a minute she should go to prison for a hundred years? What if she just said, what if you confront your wife for cheating? And she just goes, you'd be like,

what do you got to say for yourself? I'm sorry? Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. God bless, man. Just be honest. I'm not even joking when I say that. For all couples out there,

I think honesty is always the best policy. What else we got, Taylor? We got any more ads? Yeah. Let's do some ads. Let's do some ask idiots, mate. Back to the show. Somebody just sent me a text from Academics TV and said,

Charlemagne said Drake wasn't being suppressed on radio on his latest podcast. The numbers, however, show Drake is being suppressed on radio. Would give me a hug only getting 2% airplay and Nokia getting 0%. Why do y'all think that's suppression? What I said on the podcast was that the label called, and asked what the single is. So being at the label called and asked what the single is, that mean that the label is willing to work a record to radio,

but they probably just gotta find the right record to work. And if give me a hug is, I'm looking at the Hot 100 right now, give me a hug is number six, Nokia is number 10. So clearly those are the records that radio needs to be playing. But what y'all need to understand is that radio is often late on a lot of things. It's only been a week, guys. Give it a minute. You know what I'm saying? If Nokia gets a lot of requests or give me a hug gets a lot of requests or, you know, they do this. By the way, I think the, what is it called, the callout research hook that they do to determine

what records get played. I think that is such an outdated concept. It's like a callout research hook. So if I'm explaining it right, they'll call you and ask you, are you familiar with this song? And based on your familiar, familiar, fuck, I'm getting caught up like that worse. I can't even see it. If you're familiar with the word, if you're familiar with the song. Familiarity. Yes.

What word did I see? Familiarity. A ass on black TV. Damn. I forgot what word was. Influential. Influential. Damn, this dude was this influed fucking intro.

I must influence. Influ fucking winchew. That's what he was. What do you mean when you were influenced people? Influence. Influential. Influfucking issue. What you said?

Influential. Influential. Influ-fucking intro. There you go. That's what he was. That's what it is. No, it wasn't influential, wasn't? I think it was, yeah.

Oh, well, but the Carlisle Research hook, if you're familiar with the record, then, you know, it gets more spins. But just give it a minute. Like, that's not suppression just because an artist comes out with an album, sells 250,000 in the first week, debuts at on number five with one record and number 10 on a record on Billboard. That's not suppression, guy. Hmm. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like Drake and party promoted this project crazy. It's not like they gave you videos before they put out singles.

They just gave you a body of work and people responded to it. Drake is going to be fine, y'all. Meanwhile, Kendrick has the number one song in the country this week again. But it's Luther. Kendrick Lamar and Sizzle. So last week it was not like us. Not like us is number two this week. All of these guys are doing great.

TV office number four, squabble loves number five. All of this is great for the game. Who cares? Cares. Let's do some asking idiots. Philomena in 1996 says is an athlete at the top of their game are a musician more impressive to watch

fantastic fucking question Philomena what do you think Schultz athlete not even question because a musician has a longer prime like a musician's prime could be a decade but an athlete that's a small window

you know we're talking about like the two or three years that James Hardin was doing what James Hardin was doing it was, you're just watching a magician on the court. I would say depending on what type of athlete. Ooh, okay, go. If we're talking baseball, if we're talking football, if we're talking boxing, if we're talking football, soccer,

those, even baseball to a certain extent, those are very impressive sports to watch track and field. When you're watching Simone Bowles and, you know, Gabby Douglas, when she's, like, when you're watching, when you're watching Usain Bolt, like, Like, I remember being in, I think I've told the story of a minute time, I remember being in Jamaica during, I think it was the old eight Olympics. Oh, wow. And we were leaving Jamaica, the airport stopped.

I'm not even exaggerate. Like, literally, they stopped to watch Usain Bolt and Run. Yeah. Nah, it only took 15 seconds, right? If that much. Yeah. But the fact that literally, they made an announcement, everybody stopped. what the fuck you're doing to what?

That's a different level. So I would say depending on the athlete. You know it's such a small window. So the opportunity to watch them during that time, especially like a sprinter. I mean, who's saying had an amazing career a lot longer than most sprinters. But still, like, there are some of these guys

that might go to one Olympics and everything has to work out around that moment for them to be at their prime. So, yeah, athlete. But when you're watching prime, Michael. That's what I'm going to say. You know what I mean? But there's only a few artists

that are like our musicians that are so gifted that you like wow to me it's like uh it wouldn't even be it would be like a singer like watching Whitney in her prime like watching Whitney yeah yeah yeah yeah with her voice at her football game she did the national lantern like and i guess that can last for a while too but there's something about that connection like i don't know maybe watching bioncée at the height of her superstardom and fame her physical ability to do those dance moves as well as like sing. She's not using like a, of course she can still do it now,

but I think that Beyonce would even say maybe five years ago or 10 years ago, she was, you know, in her peak, peak, peak live performance. Maybe she'd say now, I don't know. I'm just assuming that when you're younger, because I'm 41 years old and I can barely fucking walk after I do some shit,

right? So seeing that, I guess, but there's something about an athlete in his prime, like Roy Jones Jr. in his prime, like this, small window where you get to watch sheer and utter dominance. That's why it's hard to have conversations with people who never saw Michael Jordan. It's crazy, man. You had to see it.

If you saw it, you would understand what the fuck we talk. Bro, I was a Nick fan during Jordan's reign. Imagine that. Come on, man. When he would come into the game with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter and didn't matter how much we were up, you were holding your breath for eight straight minutes. Because, you know, at any point in time, he could take that fucking game over. And, yeah, that's, it's, uh, yeah, I think, I think it's athlete.

It doesn't take away from musicians, but seeing an athlete, also there's no, it's pure meritocracy in athletics. Whereas music, it's like some people like Prince, some people like Michael Jackson is kind of like what you enjoy. But at the end of that game, the bulls either one or they lost. Yeah, it's athletes, because to that point, too, musicians don't ever, like, I guess that's why we like rap battles so much

because you get to see people actually go against each other. That's a good point. With athletes, you get to see them go against the best night in and night out, so you really get to see these motherfuckers. It's crush competition. Musicians are just playing one-on-one. Well, that's the thing about the battle, which is so interesting with rap,

is that they've agreed to do the same thing. You know what I mean? Like Adele and Drake can't really compete at music because they do different types of music. They could, but it'd be gay. You know what I'm saying, though. You know what I mean? But like when two rappers battle,

they're both are going, hey, we're going to battle. We're not having a battle based on the music. Like Drake isn't going, I'm going to battle Kendrick and I'm going to do my R&B shit and Kendrick is going to do his thought-provoking shit. Oh my God. What? That would be so silly.

That's what I'm saying. It doesn't work like that. You got a rap. You got to, hey. So maybe that's why it's so enticing. Like, even watching the guys, do you ever watch the rap battles, like the underground?

Oh, yeah, all the time. That shit is incredible. Because these guys are very gifted in the art of battling. It's not even funny, too. Like, to me, it reminds me a lot of, like, joke writing. It's not even the rap's I like. What do you...

I like the fact that these guys can say the most disrespectful shit about each other. Yeah. But have the emotional intelligence to know it's just a rap battle. It's like a roast. It's like a roast. A lot of parallels with it.

It's really cool watching those guys. I wrote what I didn't write, but I was a producer on a fantastic movie called Bodyed. That was executive produced by Eminem. And it literally is just all about rap battle culture. Slued to Joseph Khan. He directed that film. Y'all should go check that out.

It's called. body. I might have produced that, like, was it a decade ago now? Didn't you have a small part in it? Yeah, I played a, I had a role in it. I played, uh, I played whatever smack would be to this era, the host of the rap, rap battles. Yeah, yeah, check that out. If you couldn't be an American, what nationality would you want? How you skip, how you skip Papa Paul?

Oh, my bad. Is it gay for a guy to have a threesome with two studs? No, not as long as there's two vaginas there. That's a fire. Hey, come by, we never forget the acronym for studs, y'all. Hold on. Go, go, go, go, go. I'm going to say, never forget the acronym for studs. Some tithes under that shirt.

Under that dress. No, some tities under that shirt. Under? Some tities under that shirt. Hey? Titties under that shirt. Fair enough. Okay.

Okay. Now here's the question. What if the studs come strapped? Put them shit away. No, no, no. They strapped. There's vagina there. Wait, use them on each other.

No, okay, but you can hit from the back and then the strap is still. Oh. Could you hit from the back with a strap? You know she got a strap and you reach around and you're holding her waist but that dick slapping against your fingers. That's crazy.

I'm just saying, could you do it? And studs are wild, so you probably gotta tell them to chill because they'll be trying to penetrate you and shit. Yeah. Slapping the dick cross your mouth. Like, yo, what the fuck, yo? Yup. Nah, if you gotta move, just scrap out the way

to get to the vagina. Yeah, you can't. That's gay. That's gay. No, no, no. You're right. You know what? Pop-a-Powel.

You're right. I didn't think about it. But now that we thought about it. Now we thought about it. If you got to do this, if you got to push your scrap out the way, you got to move a dick anywhere? Oh, even if it's GMO dick.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It don't even got to be the real thing. Oh, my God. Kyle Elmendorf says, if you couldn't be an American, what nationality would you want to be?

Good question. What you think? Shultz? Scottish, bro, of course. Yeah, I would be either... Or Mexican. Yeah, I would be Caribbean or Ghanaian. Well, anything from the motherland.

So my African ancestry says I'm 97% West African. So Sierra Leone, Senegal, Guinea-Basal. But you know, I love Anguilla. So, you know, I would have no problem being a beautiful island of Anguiluil. That would be my nationality. Caribbean and nationality? Oh, it'd be Anguolent. You'd be Anguilin.

Now, Scottish, the motherland, but also Mexican, just because it seems fire. Ooh, this is a good one. All right, go. Mogan Dawes says, fellas, how do we feel about government telling us what or what not to talk about? What do you think? I mean, I don't believe that they should do that, but at the same time, it makes it more dangerous and fun. So if there is something taboo, that's where shit gets exciting, especially as a comedian. You know, when you could talk about absolutely anything, then like pushing that back about like political takes and that kind of stuff is kind of boring.

Comedy is most interesting when you're doing hot takes when you're restricted, you know, and then when you can just talk about whatever, you know, that's where you, in my opinion, that's where you've got to go personal. You got to talk about what's going on in your life because everybody's going to have their hot take about what's happening. Yeah. You know, the most interesting thing about what's going to happen in America is that we are a country of people who, know what freedom is. We are addicted to freedom because that's all we've ever known. It's our identity. That's our identity.

So when you have, you know, things like, you know, media restriction, you know, whatever it is, people are going to rebel against that. Just naturally, the civil unrest that is going to happen in this country, whenever you try to restrict any freedoms from people, do we really need that? So why restrict people's free? Like, I saw Elon Musk tweet out the other day, and I'm paraphrasing the tweet. He said something like, you know, once Hitler got control, he suppressed the media or something. Who said this?

Elon. It's like, so it's like, that's not what you should want. Like, you shouldn't want Donald Trump, you know, writing executive orders to where independent agencies like the FCC have to answer to him. Which they're pushing, which the FCC is pushing back on. You shouldn't want that because he's the president of the United States of America. This isn't China. This isn't Russia. people should be able to have an opinion about their leave.

Amen. Simple as that. Amen. So when you start seeing restrictions like that happen in this country, push back. We are, not only are we addicted to freedom, we're an entitled people when it comes. Oh, yeah, you're not going to restrict us.

Because we'll rebel just off the strength of you telling me I can't. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And that's what I think is, we're about to see a lot of that, if things keep going the way that they are. Abdon.c.a.a says, what's the most useless talent you have? What's the most useless? Probably gaydar.

Your gay is way off. No, it's not actually. You just found out Chris is gay today. We've been doing this for a decade. Well, I didn't know. He's just a little crooked. It's the difference between gay and crooked. What's the difference?

Crooked means that, you know, when it hits 6 o'clock, you back straight. Gay means you just gay all the time. And it's fine. We started having a couple. conversation about attractive men and Chris was rightling all. But like year to year, he was like, Zach Ephron from 98. You know what I'm saying? Like, that is, that was his peak.

He's like, he was in his prong back then. You're picking your boys like you pick your wine, Chris. I try that Zach Ephron 92. You know what I'm saying? That's crazy, Chris. You're not talking about Vic in the beginning. It's not good. No.

You came in talking about dick. Also, you could talk about dick without being gay as a part of the body. What are we going to ignore it? This why I don't mind Trump's slowing down some of this progressive shit. Because you came in here as a woman talking dick. Yeah, it doesn't mean.

Like, let me see. Oh. Because we want to make you feel comfortable. I want to know. I want to know. I'm not going to get you pregnant. I want to know what you're so afraid of. If you're talking about how you're afraid of this dick,

that's true. Also, we just like seeing the biggest of anything. That is a fact. We like going the best. What's your top five? That's right. And Taylor, you're a person that has scalped that 10-inch penises. Yeah.

Looked at him and be like, we never seen you scared a dick. You think that's big. I feel sorry for your wife. We didn't even ask for that laugh part. Why did it do? Why did I feel sorry for your wife have been alive? That is uncomfortable. You know what I'm saying?

This podcast and say something like that. And so you came in here showing off huge penises. We commented on them. And now where the gay ones? Isn't that funny how they do us like that? What's your most useless talent that you have? No shit. My most useless talent.

I think it's your ability to just fart any and everywhere. I was thinking the same thing, bro. The bowel movements, yeah, I can have a bowel movement. Anyway, it don't make no... I've never seen anything like... I've never... Like, it don't matter where you're at. If Schultz is dipping off, he's going to take a shit,

it's like a dog market... I'm not afraid, man. I'm just not afraid. Have you ever shit in, like, one of those nasty-ass gas station bathrooms? Wait, me, what... You think that's the worst place of shit? Oh, my God. That's the worst place.

Name a place and I'll tell you if I've shot there. You should have outside before. I mean, come on. Not even, yes. Do you have, there's like, is it like a, like, the scene? It's like, ineribital bousing. Like, what is it? IBS.

Like, what, like, no, I'm just built different. You clear, no, I'm not, like, he's, he's, I'm him. I'm him. Yeah. When it comes to. Yeah, I actually prefer it. Why is that gross? You don't think those other.

Before a show, before a show to you shit. I used to have to do it every single time before I went on stage. Like, I think it was like a nerves thing, and then I got a little more comfortable. Because I've been on, I've come to shows and be like, I just, and randomly, I want him, Andrew got a shit right. Only because you shit so much. Sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Like, when I saw Fifth come out at the garden show and he like hit you in the stomach lovingly, I'm like, yo, fifth, he's been out there for an hour.

He's been out there for an hour. Now is not the time to be hitting him in the stomach. You know what I'm saying? What up? Blood. What up? You know what I'm saying? We don't.

need that. Let's do two more. Okay, poster god. I'm glad you come to us with this because this is good topics for the brilliant idiots. Postal God says if I jack off more than once a day and I'm married 25 years, is that a problem? Well, poster god, it depends what you're jacking off for. If you're jacking off because you know that you know you and your wife may get it on and that's the thing about being married when you're married you just never know. So you always want to be ready. And we always know that second shot, I don't know how old you are opposed to God. The older you'll get, you'll realize how to, you know, maintain that first nut.

But if you're a young guy, you might want to jack, well, he's been married to him. He's married to 25 years. Yeah, so he might be a little older. You shouldn't know how to maintain that first nut. If I jerk off, we're not having sex today. Really? Yeah.

That's... Now, what about like an early in the day jerk off? So you're kind of getting like the nut and a half for the second. If I jerk off today, we're not having sex tomorrow. Oh, no, y'all was wild. You know what I mean? I'm saying, there's something in the food.

We got RFK. I got to get out the chamber because I know at nighttime we're going to go? No, no, I remember when I was like dating my wife, I would want to empty out the chamber so I could deliver. But I've been married. I have a child. So if I jerk off Monday, sex might happen around Friday. You have to eradicate the stigma of married couples having wax sex, bro.

I didn't say the sex is whack. Okay. I just says Friday. Well, I'm talking about on your end. Listen, I'm here to be hard. You don't sound like you putting that dick down the way you need to. There's dicks like, show him the dick again, Taylor, just to let him know what type of the dick are out here.

I think he got it. Oh, I'll never forget that dick. You know what I'm saying? I'll never forget that dick as long as I live. It's dick like that and Steve Smith Sr. is out here. Every fucking dick. Shultz, you got to remember these things as a married man. Those are the things that you're up against every day as a married man.

Now, you're right about that. You know what I'm saying? You get a Brazilian wax and keep your wife. You got to tell you. You think I'm joking. I don't think you're joking. I know you got to. You and your wife have sex or y'all just scissor.

I'm going to tell you something. All I'm going to say, all I'm going to say is, you know, the word I've heard in my house the last two weeks? Fraggle magazine. Game changes. Really? Right. She goes down on you. Game.

Change. All the game. What I'm telling you is game changing. Now, my wife told me I got to trim up. Get rid of the gates, bro. You told me I got a trim up. Get rid of the gates. Because the old, do you got out of you, Alex?

35. Oh, see, wait, in 10 years, that shit's going to be all over there. You 41, that's why you're getting there. That's why you got that. That's why that shit is starting to go all over the plate. You 41 and Scottish? My shit is crazy. You know what I'm saying?

You 41 and Scottish? I should look like a bonfire. She? Yeah. For real? I'm off, man. Bad, dude. Like, if I needed to literally make warmth in the woods, I would start with me.

You see what I'm saying? I would just be like this. See what I'm saying? That little burning bush, Moses. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes, man. Do your wife of favor and go get a wax.

Listen to me, guys, I'm not going to ever steal y'all wrong. Have I seen you around before? Mm-hmm. No. Did y'all start going to therapy? You went to fucking therapy. That's true. That's true.

You was hugging trees. for a little bit. Yeah. You're holding stones. When summertime, I'm still doing that now. You went through a little phase where you were trying to find yourself. I'm doing that now. I know.

I got the stones right now. When it gets summertime, I'm out there, baby. Grounding. What are you talking about? Forehead to the tree. I'm telling y'all right now, go get white. Could you ground on that guy's dick over there? I'm just staying on that one.

Two feet. Ten toes down, bro. I probably could hook my toes like a hawk to that fucking dog. That's a log, bro. You know, I'm telling you. That's a fucking log, bro. Y'all are playing games. I'm telling you.

Y'all are playing games, man. As always, if you listen to this podcast, I think we're smart, you think we're intelligent. You know, the visual is crazy. It's telling you, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant, you're absolutely right.

But if you think we're just a couple idiots, you don't know shit you're right to. It's the brilliant idiots podcast. Thank you for listening. Thank you.