The Brilliant Idiots - We Had A Connection (Feat. Humble The Poet)
Episode Date: March 5, 2020This week Charlamange The God and Andrew Schulz discuss CoronaVirus, Jack Brewer calling Trump "1st black president" presidential race, Mike Tyson, and more!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ...megaphone.fm/adchoices
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It's so stupid it's positively brilliant.
The brilliant idiots.
Yep, Charlemagne the guy.
Andrew Shultz.
We are The Brilliant Idiots.
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Let's start the show
What's up, man?
I'm blessed black and highly favorite
How are you, my brother?
Same.
I'm trying not to move this microphone
I'm just saying
Alex told me, Alex told me, I don't know
what your African DNA is, you might be black for real
I think we all have African DNA
Of course
100%
That's a fact
Sometimes I feel it
Sometimes my girl feels it
Yeah
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Who's highly favored now?
Talk in your sleep.
Now let's start off with
It's positively brilliant.
What a fucking idiot.
Who did you see this week that was positively brilliant?
Okay, I had a thought during flagrant two
that I'd like to expound on.
Talk to me. Talk to me.
That I thought was positively brilliant.
And it started as Latino parenting.
But as I've kind of like extrapolated this thought a bit,
I've realized.
I was going to repost it, but I'm pussy.
That's okay.
But you got it, though.
I did.
I did.
I understood what you were saying.
And all these other people started reaching out.
Be like, no, this is all immigrant families.
This is this.
This is, you know, Spanish, black, whatever like that.
And I experienced it in my family as well.
And basically what it was is like Latin parents, and I think now I've realized all these immigrant parents tease the fuck out of their kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they do it with this, like, in this loving way.
There's like an affection.
Like, there's even, like, words that get changed.
within the language to add affection.
So instead of calling someone gordo, they call you gordito.
Yeah.
Which is like, I love you, you fat kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it sounds fucked up even in English, but in Spanish, it's okay.
It's like with love.
So they experience all this bullying from the people that love them the most.
So then when they go to school, anybody who bullies them, it means nothing.
Yeah, I saw that and I thought that was a brilliant point, but I cannot let the brown community get all of that credit.
No, we'll see to either thing.
It happens in my family, like my Scottish family.
happens in, I'm sure, but the most black people.
Black people, of course.
The dozens, that's what we do.
Keep going.
We grow up pouring.
There's a franchise.
There's nothing to do but make somebody else your entertainment.
And that's why none of us shoot up schools.
Huh?
Okay, think about it.
Hold on now.
You said, you're Scotland people.
My Scottish people aren't there shooting up schools, bro.
Because people are just looking at this.
People are just looking at this fly.
What's the cordina?
People might just be turning in.
They're looking at you just optically.
They're like, wait a minute.
I don't see a kilt on that, man.
All right?
No, but I think there's certain whites that don't shoot up the school.
Like, I bet these, like, Boston whites that, like, have that kind of culture where they're getting a lot of ball busts and happen.
I don't think that they're shooting up to school.
I think it's a specific subset of white culture that babies their kids because they, like, try to protect them.
And then by protecting them, it's like the peanut allergy whites.
Peanut allergy.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Like, you know, like, only white people are allergic to peanuts.
Like everybody else's family just says,
ah, keep eating it, you'll figure it out.
That's fucked up when you're black and allergic to peanuts.
I mean, God damn.
George Washington coffee.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
What if that was his plan the whole time?
Oh, we're going to pay back these whites.
These are poison to them, okay?
Delicacy to us.
Don't say anything.
But, and I realize, it's like, okay, maybe that's it.
This is positively brilliant.
You bully your own kids with this cloak of love,
so they're prepared for the real fucking world.
And when you baby your kids,
they're not prepared for the real world,
and then some shoot up a school
or some of them become these fucking nerds or whatever.
But I think bullying from the people you love
is very important.
That was my positively boy.
Yeah, I think, I agree with you
because I think that it just makes your skin tougher
and it makes you realize
that things aren't personal.
Yes.
Because if it's coming from your family, right?
Even if it's jokes, even if it's...
I guess jokes done with love, though.
I mean, it can work the opposite way as well sometimes too, right?
Because if you're, you know,
somebody's mom or father,
a brother, a sister, and you're, like, really insulting a person on some, like, serious shit.
They might take it even, it might hurt them even more because it's coming from a family member,
if it's hateful, you know what I mean?
If you're just, if you're just, like, I don't know, if you're just called something your whole life from your mother,
like, did you have a nickname from your mom?
No, because that's my, my name is Lenard, so not, yeah.
It's creative.
Yeah.
But they didn't call you nothing?
Big head or something.
some shit. My girl calls me monkey
because I have big ears. Wow.
Yeah. I love the fact that y'all use racial slurs
in your house to describe each other.
That's progressive, bro. Not the only reason.
You call me monkey, bro. You know what I mean?
That banana. That banana.
Still black history mother my household.
No, but I agree with you also too because
think about how many times you've teased somebody
growing up, right? I was that guy that
would tease people growing up. And
that shit hurt them in a real way. Like, we're
in the guidance council's office because somebody didn't try to
kill itself like that type of shit.
You know what I mean?
Because they didn't know you loved them though.
They didn't know I was playing.
They didn't know how to take the joke.
You know what I mean?
If it's just me clowning, I'm not being hateful.
I'm just clowning.
Like, bro, I'm just joking with you.
That's it.
Light.
That's it.
So, yeah, I can see that.
If you're used to getting that in your family,
it makes your skin tougher,
you don't take things as serious when you're out in the real world.
We should bring back bullying amongst the people.
Not bullying.
Yeah.
Words matter.
Not bullying.
Family bullying.
Parental bullying.
Family feuding.
Family feuding.
Family feuding.
Family feuding.
I like family feuding.
You like Steve Arbyish?
You know what I'm saying?
That's all.
Playing the dozens amongst the family.
That's it.
A little ribbing.
I like ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Ribbing.
Okay.
I want to give, um, my positively brilliant is Beatrice Dixon.
Um, she is the owner and creator of a company called the Honeypot.
The first complete feminine care system that cleanses, protects, and balances your vagina.
A douche.
I don't think it's a dude.
I don't know exactly what it is,
but the reason I'm saying she's positively brilliant
is because she had a commercial with Target.
And in the commercial,
she said something to the effect of
she's happy to be in this position
because she will inspire other black women
to be mogul, CEOs, whatever it is.
You know what I'm saying?
And it was in the commercial that she said that.
It's kind of like, I guess, to be like my commercial,
you know, you see like, oh, be like Beatrice.
And people online got upset about that.
You know, it's those trolls that exist online.
I don't know if you, whatever you want to call them, cybercointel pro.
Just people started leaving mad racist comments on, you know, different review sites and talking shit about her or whatever, whatever.
But it blew up.
I didn't know what the fuck the Honeypot was until I saw everybody hating on it.
Right.
What I, the reason I say she's brilliant is because she didn't get upset.
She actually said, this is just a divine order of things.
clearly this is what the universe wanted to happen
because now a lot more people know my product
that didn't know my product before
and her sales shot up 50%.
So I'm just saying that she's brilliant.
Where is she from?
I don't know where beaches is from.
I don't know where she's from.
But I'm just saying that I think that's brilliant
because she didn't get outraged with the outrages.
She didn't react to them.
She used them instead of letting them raise her.
But that's like just going with the flow of things, right?
That's what I always say in life, you know.
She's from Atlanta?
Of course she's from Atlanta.
Salute to Atlanta.
That's where them sweet pussies are at.
What are you talking about?
What?
It's the honeypot.
You're married.
Listen.
I believe you're right.
You're right.
Damn, man.
That's what the honey pot will do to you, bro.
Yes.
So in life, I believe...
Yes.
I don't believe in any...
I don't believe in good experiences or bad experiences.
I believe that everything is just an experience.
It's all part of just one process.
Yeah.
And I like the way that she just took everything in stride and said,
this is what the universe wanted.
because she's correct, right?
Because in life, no matter who you are,
you got to take the good with the bad.
I think we both know that.
We know that for what we do,
radio personality, comedian.
It's like, when we put things out there,
it's out there.
That's it.
So even if people are just hating
and they want to talk shit,
cool.
I'm not about to, you know,
go back and forth with y'all.
Everybody that's hearing about
whatever it is, the honeypot,
go see for yourself.
Because what you did was drive a bunch of people
to her sight.
And then there's probably a bunch of people
sitting there like,
you know what?
I do have that not-so-fresh feeling.
Let me order something to sit.
My balance might be a little off.
This is what I've been looking for.
Can women tell?
Taylor, can you tell?
First of all, are you done with your period?
Can you tell?
Wait, wait, is that a song?
Well, it's can you talk by Tavon Campbell.
Oh.
I didn't know whether to hit the can you smell or the can you tell.
Wait a, can you know?
You can tell if it smells better.
Like, come on.
Like, can I smell it?
Yeah, or do you know when?
That not so fresh feeling.
Yeah, can you feel the not so correct fresh feeling?
You can feel it.
Yeah, it gets irritating.
Really?
Really?
Either you can or you can't, Taylor, you have a vagina.
I mean, like a yeast infection or something like that?
No, just like some odor.
Oh, no, not necessarily.
Okay.
Because I know when my balls are sweaty, but I don't know when they smell.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, no, we don't know when it smells.
We got to do the test.
You don't know when you test it?
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
I don't believe that.
The reason I don't believe that is because...
Oh, dude, I didn't know women do that, man.
That was a little too much for me right now.
Every man in this room.
Wait a minute.
You just swabbed yourself?
You do that?
Oh, God.
That's what she said.
That's how that coronavirus gets pregnant.
You know, doing that shit and not washing your hands.
Who's not going to watch your hands?
Oh.
I think, I think...
Oh, God.
Every woman has to know...
Because every guy in here has taken off a woman's leggings before.
And then what happened?
You got hit with it?
You got hit with that woof.
That's why we used to call it.
I'm serious because they walk around all day and that smell build up and you pull them legs down and then woof that shit just hit you it happens to guys too though usually they do the bathroom test first though what is the bathroom like girls usually go to the bathroom before they know something's about to go down and then they make sure everything if a girl says she got to go to the bathroom she don't got no confidence and how her vagina smell that's not because think about it you get home you get home you and a girl get it pop and y'all start kissing and she just ready to go because she know she got a fresh one
Oh, but how's it fresh if we went out on a date?
Exactly.
You're sitting on some, like, cook.
You're both drunk.
Who cares?
Go smell like looking anyway.
Who cares?
Who got time for all of that?
As long as you're not bringing no foreign fragrances in the room.
Because think about it, you just come from the club, you've been drinking, you've been smoking, you probably smell like smoke, you smell like a little alcohol.
That little, unless there's a real foreign fragrance, you ain't tripping off it.
Have you eaten bad tasting pussy before?
Taylor, why you said, of course?
Kama.
For a kid.
No, no, hold on.
Hold on. Where's Michaela?
Get her in here.
We learning new things about you, Taylor.
Yes.
I don't know you're doing with women.
First of all.
No, don't first of all, us.
I don't, I don't go down.
I just let the girl go down.
Oh, you've hooked up with girls?
I have.
Oh, gay.
I didn't know.
See, I didn't know.
Wait, it's not like Michaela hooked up.
You learn new things about your friends.
It's not Michaela hooked up.
You see it this bullshit girls always too.
Because it was a random time when I went to Aruba.
I got to tell you.
No.
What?
McHale didn't know about this?
Oh, I don't know.
Go, go, go, go, go.
So you were down there eating some fucking...
Taylor, you're finally telling a story people might like.
And you don't want to tell them.
Yo, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
Okay, so when I went to Aruba...
So I have a friend that...
is in the porn star business, blah, blah, blah.
We met, she met this.
The store keeps getting in bad.
She met this couple.
She brought them home.
We had this, like, big-ass mansion thing, whatever.
And she started hooking up with a girl,
and she brought them back into the bathroom.
So me and my friend wanted to see what was going to happen.
So we were watching, and they wanted to, like, pull me and she said,
oh, come on, come on, come in, blah, blah, blah.
And I was just like, no, I just want to watch.
She's like, come on.
I just want to taste your pussy, blah, blah, blah.
So.
Yeah.
At least you have a fucking sister.
No, I just said, fuck it, but I didn't like it though.
I didn't.
So wait, so she, you laid down.
I didn't lay down.
I was, this is.
I didn't want to tell this story.
No, no, tell the story.
So how did she?
I was sitting on, like, the tub, like on top of the tub.
Uh-huh.
And she was on her knees and she.
She ate your pussy.
Yeah, but it was.
And it didn't feel good.
No.
Why?
Because it was a girl?
I was, I guess.
She just wasn't doing it.
I think she was drunk, too, like in slot is just, I don't like it.
Wow.
What a fucking idiot.
Not you, the young woman who ate your pussy,
because we always have this conversation
about who eats pussy better, men or women.
And what I always say?
Hey, man.
I'm a champ.
I'm a champ on that box.
Okay, so I don't want to hear being drunk as an excuse.
All right, you got one.
You know exactly how to maneuver around that thing
when you're drunk, young lady.
Yeah, because looking pussy feels like a drunk thing to do.
What?
Really?
Doesn't it?
Like, you just down there like,
like, blah.
How old people don't eat pussy like that?
How do you eat pussy?
I don't even...
Almost got you.
I almost got you.
You just did what she carried there
at the Super Bowl.
I was the fuck you...
Gotta build a wall around your mouth.
That's how you eat pussy.
Jesus Christ.
What's that cartoon that sounds like a...
That's all, folks.
Yeah, yeah, that's how I eat pussy.
Who the fuck is it?
Porky pig, bro.
I'm down there.
Wow.
I didn't know you was a lesbian,
you know.
That's what's up, man.
Real talk, man.
You've been trying to get some regret.
I'm not strictly dickly.
No.
You're a lesbian.
Taylor, you're a lesbian, y'all.
You're a lesbian, y'all.
Why am I a lesbian if I don't return a favor of them?
Hey, what do you want to do when you see that?
You're a lesbian, yo.
Put your face in it, pal.
If you walked in the room and you saw somebody giving me head, a man giving me head, what would you say?
I couldn't come in here and be like, oh, he was drunk and I was drunk and I didn't like it.
It was one time.
I couldn't say that.
That's true.
You'll be like, yo, you part of the G in the LGBTQ Disney Plus community, okay?
Yeah.
All right?
So you're gay.
It's fine.
Embrace it.
It's okay.
Here, here you go.
Here you go.
What's this for it?
It's a remote.
You could turn off the TV,
but you can't turn off your gay.
That's dope you gay.
You might need that car in the future.
Caleb, stop it.
Go with it.
You might need it in the future.
You never know.
This show might need in the future.
We might need a future.
We got a gay producer.
Don't say shit.
Black woman gay producer.
We check it all boxed.
Let's go!
We check the boxes.
She licked the boxes.
That's how things work over here on the brilliant idiots.
Okay.
That was brilliant.
What a fucking idiot.
Yo, a little structure goes a long way.
Now, Andrew, you just recently had hemorrhoids.
I thought about you when I heard this time.
Yeah.
Well, I had one hemorrhoid.
Did you get it removed?
What did you do?
No, I waited on it.
What do you mean?
I just waited.
What do you mean?
Explain.
I just didn't do anything and eventually it went away.
Really?
And it takes months.
But eventually it goes away.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you know that it's people out there that think if you put frozen potato slices in your ass and leaving inside for 30 seconds,
repeat the process for three to five days, the next three to five days,
lead the slice inside for 30 seconds more each time.
The potatoes having a stringent property that helps to relieve the pain and itchy sensation,
which usually happens with hemorrhoids, and the ice cold potato constricts the blood vessels,
reduces the swelling, and relieves your pain instantly.
So it's people out here on this planet.
putting whole frozen potato slices in their butt
to cure their hemorrhoids.
Now, I will say this.
I did try the potato technique,
but I didn't know you were supposed to slice it.
Really?
Ooh.
What a butthole you got.
Why, you're so dumb.
You are really dumb.
I thought that was the sound of his ass makes
because his hole so goddamn big.
Wow.
I thought he was queefing.
Bro.
No, dude.
I put some pills up there.
I did like some lotion, but nothing really worked.
Honestly, just waiting it out worked.
I was going to get surgery.
Yeah.
I just think that anybody that's out there who has to put frozen potato slices in their butt,
like, you really need to vote your interest.
And I think your interest is Medicare for all.
Because you goddamn need a health plan so fucking bad, bro.
Because if you have to, if your mind has to go to that, like, oh, shit, I got hemorrhoids.
Yo, put his potato slice in your ass.
You clearly have no health insurance.
Because the average person, what did you do when you first got it?
You went to a doctor, right?
I went to a doctor, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Actually, you know what I did?
I had never met my girlfriend's father, but my girlfriend's father's a gynecologist.
Really?
And I'd never met him.
And I sent him a picture of my asshole with the hemorrhoid hanging out.
Really?
And gynecologists have to deal with hemorrhoids a lot because women get them, I think, in pregnancy.
I think from, like, pushing.
Right?
They're like pushing out babies, and there's so much pushing.
It's kind of like with poops where, like, a little bit comes out of your butthole, too.
Wow.
Yeah, so I had to call him.
He has seen my asshole in that giant fucking poll.
You got to marry her now, bro.
Say again?
You got to marry her now.
Not even a question.
Do I even have to ask his permission now?
It's like, you saw my ass.
No, you saw my ass king.
That's king.
For real.
You saw my ass like, I'm just doing this out of respect, but I really don't have to ask you because, you know.
That asking shit is so stupid.
No, it's not.
It's respect.
It's so stupid.
It's respect.
Like if you say no, I'm going, okay.
Yes.
No.
I'm marrying your daughter, yo.
No, because guess what?
The daughter's getting married.
I'm telling my daughter, you can't marry this guy.
And she's saying, well...
By the way, why do fathers give that up so fast, though?
What do you mean?
Like, maybe because I'm just an asshole.
Yeah.
And I got three daughters.
I can't wait until somebody asks me if they can marry my daughter.
I'm like, nah.
And then what?
That's it?
So they're just with you for your life?
I don't want to see how they react.
Like, why do you just give that?
Why you just give that up so fast?
Don't just say yes.
Maybe you say why?
Why should I let you marry my daughter?
I've been a best man in two,
It's over the past six, three, four months, right?
My dude, DJ Frosty, my cousin Kentee, right?
Best man.
Best man's job to deliver the ring.
Oh, boy.
You think I delivered a ring soon as they asked me to deliver the ring?
I start patting and looking around.
You got to.
You got to.
You got to.
Why wouldn't you?
Just ruin that woman's day.
That's right.
She's been winning her whole life for this day.
It's me.
It's about me.
You don't just give it up.
Let me have a little levity.
either of this, you know what I'm saying?
I think the past thing
got no jokes.
The past thing ain't got no
Trotty's
path definitely did.
You got to be,
what does it call it,
an efficient?
Officianado?
Officianado?
Is that the name of it?
What do you call it?
The person who calls the wedding,
the MC.
But a priest.
All right.
The pastor.
What about people
who aren't religious?
What do they have?
An efficient.
Yeah, yeah.
And if you officiate the wedding,
you're inefficient.
You're inefficient.
should be an efficient for a wedding.
Who the fucking fishing at wedding?
Son, listen, you could be to eat,
Asians?
I don't know.
They like it.
Yes.
You scared of the coronavirus, bro?
Um, no.
Yes.
No.
Are we idiots for this?
I think we're idiots.
I will say this.
I don't dapp up everybody.
I'm doing straight Michelle Obama Barack fistpumps right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to put this under the what-of-fucking idiot section because I know that you're
idiots, I'm not tripping off the coronavirus, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah. Taylor thinks that because you're black, you're immune to it.
No, that's, that's, well, that's why it's the what a fucking idiot section.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She went, what?
Did you make your own sound effect?
So Taylor truly believes black people are immune to the, um.
That's some shit that started on social media.
Oh, was it?
Yes.
Yes.
You did not start that.
I never seen this before.
I've seen that meme so much on social media.
I'm like, stop.
Knock it off.
Did you start black power fists?
Maybe.
I just don't.
I'm going to tell you.
The main reason I'm not scared of it is because I was walking to the airport.
And this was this weekend, coming back from L.A., and I saw an old sign.
You know how when you're walking down in the runway and you're about to get on the plane?
So it was an old sign tucked away in the corner.
Yep.
And it was an old.
Like, you could tell it was old.
And it was about the bird flu.
And I said to my wife, what the fuck happened to the bird flu?
Then I started thinking about all of the different viruses we've heard about over the
the past 10 years, SARS, bird flu, swine flu, Ebola.
What's the shit that Travis Scott and Kodak back made the song about?
Zika.
What was that shit called?
Zika.
You know what I'm saying?
They had a song about Zika?
Yeah.
Oh, it was easy.
Whatever the fuck.
Zika, whatever.
But I'm just saying, think about all of those different diseases that we've had over the past
decade and all of them shit was supposed to be life-threatening.
All of them was supposed to kill us.
And it's like, all right.
Are you wiping down?
seats on a plane though.
But we've been, I do that anyway.
So that's the thing I don't do.
I'm mine.
I barely, I know.
Karen did it this week and I was like, oh, okay.
Yeah.
My girl did it.
I'm like, maybe.
That's the thing.
Like, I feel like coronavirus has brought my hygiene to where it was supposed to be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I got trash hygiene.
I don't watch my hands after I pee.
Like, you know this about me.
Yeah.
And like, that's why I only give you pounds.
Exactly, yeah, yeah, forever.
We haven't shook hands in years.
No.
Yeah.
And I understand it.
Not doing it.
But, uh, so.
So I think Corona just brought me back to like where everybody is in 2020 now.
So I guess I'm grateful for Corona, but in that way.
I mean, also the thing with Corona is it's like all of that stuff we're supposed to be done.
You're like, how do you prevent Corona?
Wash your hands with soap and water.
Use hand sanitizer.
Cough into your arm.
I'm like, what is this kindergarten?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How do you invent Corona?
Don't be homeless.
That's literally the way to prevent it, right?
It seems pretty matter of fact.
Is your wife like buying canned goods and shit?
Is she freaking out?
No.
She's not getting any shit just in case.
She is with the kids what she's doing is.
As soon as the kids walk in the house,
she makes them take off their clothes at the door,
go wash their hands,
and then they can, you know,
hug and kiss and all that other kind of stuff.
I do the same thing, no, you know what I mean?
I don't want to take no chances.
I'm laying in the bed last night,
and I'm like, and I'm like,
shit, is that that corona?
I was just a regular, I was on two planes, you know,
this week.
And I had to walk through Atlanta airport,
and they said it was like,
200 people had symptoms
of corona in Atlanta airport like a week
and a half ago. So of course it's in
your mind. 100%. But I'm just sitting there thinking
like, we've seen this
before. And when you look at corona, like I saw everybody
giving Trump shit because
somebody asked Trump about the coronavirus and Trump said something to the fact like you don't
think if you take care of it the way you would like
the flu. What do you say? What do you say? What he says? He goes. He goes.
Play the clip tailor. He's a he's having a conversation
with his like the medical
advisory board, right?
about what to do with Corona.
And he goes to me,
this guy's so funny.
He goes to them,
he goes,
he goes,
okay,
so what if we gave them
a very good flu vaccine,
would it work?
That's not a bad question.
And the reason I laughed
is because the second
that coronavirus came out,
the first thing I thought it was,
we'll just get the flu shot.
Right?
Like,
have you read about the coronavirus?
No.
I read an article in USA Today,
They said that when you get it,
don't panic.
They said treat it like it's a common cold
are the flu.
But how do you get it?
Sharing chopsticks?
You get it the same way
you get any other disease.
They're talking about somebody sneezing.
Like that's literally every disease, bro.
Sneezing.
I'm going to tell you, cover your mouth when you carve.
That's the same shit.
Don't wear the masks.
Man, that mask, I don't,
what the fuck is the mask going to do
with their whole rest of your body out?
We'll talk.
The masks don't do shit.
No.
No.
No.
No.
to learn about that shit because the masks didn't work.
I think it's in Iran too.
Isn't it in Iran?
And those women are covered, you know, head to toe.
Yes, that's a good point.
They dress like beekeepers.
Exactly.
They address how you would dress if you wanted to not get the coronavirus.
Absolutely.
But they still got it.
They still got it.
So that shit is bullshit.
Maybe it went through their eyes.
Say what?
Maybe it went through their eyes.
From blinking?
No, that stuff can get in your eyes.
Don't your eyes have pores?
That she can get your eyes.
So we need to cover these women entirely.
I just,
I just don't think you call out
I don't think you can escape it
Dude what if Allah was just trying to protect you from coronavirus
That's a good point
He's ahead of his time
That's a good point
Allah predicted a lot of things
And all you brothers out there that are wearing the mask
With sagging your pants
That's stupid
You know what I'm saying
It goes up your fucking ass cracking
That's true
That's the shit that's killing people
That coronavirus that's coming through the ass
When that shit comes through your ass
When that shit comes through your ass and then you sneeze it out
You're dead
The colonovirus?
The colonovirus
I'm just saying
I'm just not
tripping off coronavirus. I could be a fucking idiot for it. But we've seen this a million
times. Just take care of yourself, man. Wash your hands. Use your hand sanitizer.
Don't be sneezing in people's fucking face. You know what I mean? Just don't be nasty.
Don't be gross. And I just don't even when they say things like, oh, yeah, we might have to
cancel South by Southwest. We might have to cancel the Olympics, you know, got to avoid large crowds.
I'm like, where do y'all live? That y'all can just avoid large crowds.
New York City, you don't have that luxury.
California doesn't have that luxury
We're going to cancel Times Square
Chicago don't have that like exactly
You're around large crowds all the time
This is a large crowd
Yeah
There's more people in this room right now
Than the Wutang clan
Count
One two, three, four, five, six
seven, eight, nine
That's Wutang
Right?
Then 10-11
Yeah
There's more people here
In the Wooten Crown
This is a large crowd
So how the fuck do we avoid
Large Crowd Chilts?
Fuck I don't know
You do stand up every weekend
Dude we're on a flight
Two flights
Every weekend man
And then going to do stand up
In front of a large crowd
And speaking to the same microphone.
Come on, man.
You can't avoid it.
If you're meant to get it, you're going to get it.
Yeah.
What do you think about?
Yeah, no, you're right.
This can go into the what-of-fucking idiot section.
I actually gave this guy donkey today.
NFL player Jack Brewer.
You got the clip?
Why did you give him donkey the day?
Play it.
I don't want to say this.
Man, you're the first black person.
The Trump?
Yes.
I gave him donkey today.
And the reason I gave him donkey today,
but not just him.
Liberals got at him for saying that, you know,
and we're calling him Uncle Tom and a coon.
And I'm like, well, what were y'all in the 90s
when y'all were you all saying that about Bill Clinton?
Ooh.
You understand what I'm saying?
And rest in peace of Tony Morrison.
Love Tony Morrison.
Well, there wasn't a black president before Clinton.
So what?
I don't think you should be calling any white person a black anything.
Because guess what?
That will never happen on the other side.
When have you ever seen a white person?
white person goes, yo, it's my black homie, man.
He wants us, though.
He's down.
He's really a white boy.
You know what I'm saying?
We're the only people who do that.
Because there's cachet in blackness.
You say it as a compliment.
You're like, it's basically saying you're cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But cool is baked into blackness.
Yes.
Right?
It's not baked into whiteness.
Yes.
Safety is.
My problem with, my problem with both things, right?
Yeah.
Not even with both.
With both.
With just the overall statement of calling any white person
the first black president, right, the first black
anything. But more so, right,
Jack Boyle was calling Donald Trump
that because of policy, right? He feels like
Donald Trump has actually done things for the black
community. For the black community, right? So it's based
off policy, legislation, first step back, opportunities on,
whatever it is, he feels like Donald Trump done more
than the actual black president, Barack Obama.
Right. When they called Bill Clinton the first black
president, you can go read it in the New Yorker magazine.
Saxophone. Tony Morrison said it because he could play the saxophone
because he came from a single family household
because he grew up poor
and because he liked fucking McDonald's in junk food.
It's like...
Sounds like a black guy.
Hey, that's all the stereotypes of a black person,
is what I'm saying.
What happened to the stereotype
that black people could play saxophone?
That never happened.
I don't think that.
No, it was where he played it.
Oh, Arsenio Hall.
Arsenio.
Played a saxon, goddamn Johnny Carson
and whatever else was back then.
It's like, eh.
No one would give a fuck.
What you on there with that band
and Arsenio, you know,
moving him doing the little dooval shoulder,
shipping.
You know what I'm saying?
Kill him with the show.
Did you like, oh, shit.
I was saying that this is his favorite time of year.
It's during election year when all the white politicians start shucking and jiving for black votes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's what Clinton was doing.
And then Tom Steyer.
Tom Steyer.
By the way, by the way, it's actually incredible.
It's actually fucking incredible.
Does it feel good?
No.
I look at them and I say.
It makes me cringe, but I don't know what it feels like from your perspective.
No, that's how I saw when I saw Tom Stey.
I looked at Tom Stey and I go.
this motherfucker is really, really trying to get us to eat from the Panda Express.
And it's like, yo.
Is that what he owns?
Huh?
Oh, wait, does he own Panda Express?
Pander Express.
Oh, my God.
I was like, that how he came to be a billionaires?
Just to know that the Panda Express delivers from now until November in black communities.
All right?
Deliveres for free.
For free.
And black communities from now until November.
And I mean, it's just like, yeah, when I see it, I'm like, I don't care about that shit no more.
When I was young, yeah, it was cool to see Bill Clinton on our senior hall playing the saxophone.
You know what I'm saying?
Even in 2008, even though Barack was a black man,
to know that Barack like rap music and, you know, all the bullshit stereotypes that you attach to cool black people to see that.
You're like, oh, that's dope.
You know what I give a fuck about?
I can fuck about policies, man.
Yeah.
I give a fuck about your agenda for black people.
I don't give a fuck that you paid juvenile to come out and say back that vote up, okay?
That's what I give a fuck about.
I don't care that you paid Yolanda Adams to come sing.
I don't care that you on stage offbeat doing the guy.
Who does the machina of the juvenile back that ass up?
Right?
I don't care about none of that shit.
I care about policies and legislation.
So to go back to the Jack Brewer, Bill Clinton thing,
I hated the fact that they used to call Bill Clinton the first black president.
LeBron even did it a month ago because the reasons they called him that weren't rooted in anything
except for negative stereotypes of black people.
And that came from us.
Right?
Jack Brew will call Trump the first black president
And that came because he feels like Trump has done policies and legislations
That have actually helped black people
And I think both of them are fucking idiotic
But I don't think either one of them have the right to be pointing the finger at each other
And saying you're an idiot, you're an Uncle Tom, you're a side, you're a Coon, no
None of y'all.
All you all need to go into the same umbrella.
Interesting because you're saying that they complimented Clinton
Rather for Cooning.
Yes.
Whereas he's kind of.
complimenting Trump for actually doing progressive things.
Yeah, you're calling him a coon.
So why would you call him a co?
Interesting.
Because he can look at you and say the same thing.
He can, Jack Brewer can look at them and say,
hey, okay, I'm a coon,
but you called Bill Clinton the first black president
because he played the saxon asinio
because he likes McDonald's and junk food
because he came from a single family home
and because he grew up poor.
But I'm the coon?
You know what the reality is, man, is this shit
is a fucking popularity contest, dude.
And when it comes down to it, it's a popular, last night, I was, or no, a couple nights ago was at the cellar.
And Chris Rock was there.
And whenever Chris is there, I always just try to ask him about these people in politics or like these famous people because he's been around them.
Like he's met all these people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they all admire him.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
He's on Mount Rushmore of comedy.
So it's just like, what was your interaction with these people?
And he said something really interesting about being a politician versus being.
being a famous person. He goes, of course Trump is beating all these people. He goes, do you know how
hard it is to be famous for 30 years? He goes, fame isn't a job. You don't have to be famous.
Like, there has to be a president. So it's either you or someone else. It's a 50% chance that you
get it. Fame, you could just go. So this guy has literally been famous for 30 years. You don't think he's
going to win a popularity contest against some fucking nerdy politicians, he's going to win it
every single time. And when he put it that way in terms of what people really relate to,
which is popularity, what they related to Clinton about, right?
That personality, that cult of character or whatever it is, makes perfect sense.
I think that's a good take. I would take it a step further and say that politicians have
had to pretend their whole life, their whole career. They've literally had to bullshit people.
They've literally had to sell dreams.
They've had to tell people what it is they want to hear
in order to acquire their vote.
So when they're forced to be real, it's hard to turn that off.
Yes.
Right?
So Donald Trump, he don't know how to be a politician, right?
But he knows how to be an entertainer.
He just know how to be an entertainer.
And so that you take, whether he's bullshit and you or not,
you take that entertainer and put him next to a career politician,
the entertainer looks like he's authentic.
The entertainer looks like he's real.
When you see Bill Clinton on Arcella,
when he's playing the sacks
or he's emitting to smoking a little weed,
you know what I'm saying?
Or we know he got a little head.
You're like, wow, he's one of us.
Like, he just comes off as a little bit more authentic.
Barat did it great.
Even though Barack was a career politician,
he did it great.
He gave us just enough to let us know.
Like, damn, man, I think he might be a real dude.
Yes.
Even if it's just doing something as simple
as singing, amazing grace.
At a church.
Yes.
And you know what?
And you package authenticity with a,
a message that's hopeful,
even if you don't do it.
But now that I believe you
and you tell me something I want to hear,
that's way more effective.
Yeah, that's my problem with the Democrats.
They're not even giving us hope.
They're not even believable.
Right?
Like, you don't believe nothing.
They're the most uninspiring group of people.
I don't think Biden knows where he is, bro.
I really, did you hear when he congratulated his sister as his wife?
I heard about that.
I didn't see it, but I heard about it.
God, bro.
He goes, I got my sister right here, and he's holding his wife's hand.
Yeah.
And then my wife over here and he goes, oh, they switched on me or something like that.
My biggest problem, man.
Come on, y'all.
I heard about it.
My biggest issue was just like, I think they said over 60% of older black voters in the South ran out.
They had a vote for Joe Biden.
And when I really asked the question why, I'm really asking a real question.
Like, I'm like, why?
Like, what is it about Joe Biden that is appealing to you?
Y'all, other than the fact he had, he was friend, he got, he got war stories with Barack Obama.
That's literally, that's literally what it is.
It's literally because he got war stories of Barack Obama.
And people, like, oh, don't bring up, you bring it up his record.
Yes, I'm bringing up the fact that he created the 86 crack laws with Strom Thurman,
who was a notorious racist from South Carolina.
And he did the 94 crime bill that people are still in jail for it now that he doesn't apologize for,
to this day.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I do bring all that up.
Why?
Because he has no black agenda.
Now, the one thing you can say about Bloomberg.
Is he had a black agenda?
That's it?
Yes, we know Stuyperfress was a racist piece of shit legislation.
Bloomberg is probably just as racist as any 78-year-old white man out there.
But he had a goddamn black agenda.
That's all I want from Mr. Joe Biden.
Joe Biden, I need a black agenda from you.
I want you to take Bloomberg's Greenwood initiative because he dropped out.
I want you to take Pete Douglas' plan because he dropped out.
I want you to take the Black Futures Lab initiative that Alicia,
I can remember of Alicia's last name that she wrote.
I want you to take all of them.
I want you to take Elizabeth Warren's plan.
I want you to take all those black agendas, come up with your own,
and I want you to have a black woman as vice president,
and I want you to spend the rest of your life,
which is probably about another eight, nine years, okay?
Correcting the wrongs that you made way back yonder.
Now here's the thing.
He doesn't have to do any of that shit.
He don't have to do none of it.
Because he's going to be the guy.
And not only is he going to be the guy,
the Democrats have brilliantly manipulated their own,
people to hate the opposition so much that he doesn't even have to service his own people.
You want to do a little...
You hate Trump so much.
I don't even have to do anything to you for you, but not be Trump and you're still going to vote for me.
What a jeep.
I wonder when, like...
Is this bucket talk?
Deep dive?
Can we do a deep dive?
Let's go.
I chose deep.
Oh, yeah, that fucking wet wet right.
All right, go.
So it's like...
Democrats have programmed their people.
Democrats have programmed their people.
And it's so brilliant to think that they are the righteous party,
to think that they are the party of freedom,
to think that they are the party of democracy, right?
To think that the other party are bad guys.
Now, Republicans have done this as well.
This is what both parties do.
Democrats just hide it better.
Exactly. Yeah.
And what is genius about it is the Democrats don't even need to service their people
because they've created such villains
on the opposite side
that you're voting for not them.
You're voting out of fear.
You're voting out of fear.
We can't let that happen
instead of voting out of what you need.
Like, you keep repeating on the show.
I'm black.
I want economic empowerment for black people.
That's it. Who got it?
Who got it?
I got interest, okay?
I'm not in my emotions.
People need to start focusing on economics
and not focusing on their emotions.
Get out of your feelings
and get into your fucking interest.
There we go.
Okay?
all I'm asking of Joe Biden
since we're so forgiving of him
because the candidates we don't like
we put him on the fucking cross
and crucify him for they past records
whether it's Senator Kamala Harris
whether it's Mayor Pete
in South Bend
whether it's Mayor Bloomberg
whoever it is
Bernie Sanders voted for the 94 crime bill
we told that shit against them
but when you like somebody it's like
oh people make mistakes
the 94 crime bill was just a mistake
you know what I'm saying
86 crack laws was just a mistake
we're phony we're fucking hypocrites
Yeah, we know he lied last week about getting arrested, you know, on the way to go see the free Mandela in South Africa.
We know, but don't worry about all of that.
Let's just vote for Joe for fucking what.
Everybody ran out and voted for Joe on Super Tuesday out of fear and familiarity.
What's the word?
You sound like Biden, son.
Familiarial.
Son, now I'm going to fuck it up.
Familiarity.
Familiarity.
Familiarity.
That shit is like feminine.
I can't say that one either.
I didn't say that one.
Feminine.
Feminine.
They voted out of fear because Biden was familiar.
Familiarity.
Yes.
Familiarity.
I'm not fucking with that word.
They voted out of fear and because Biden was familiar.
Yeah, yeah, that's better.
That's it.
Familiar we could say.
That's it.
They voted out of fear because Biden was just like them.
That's it.
So what I'm asking of Joe Biden, because I don't know if he's going to be the nominee.
I mean, it's looking like that.
He's going to be the nominee.
He's going to be the nominee because they want him to be a nominee.
They're a genius, bro.
Go, go, go finish.
Because I want to say it.
Bernie's down by like 40 delegates right now.
Nine times out of 10, Biden,
it's probably going to be the nominee.
But I'm going to tell you something.
We can say that they rigged it,
but I don't think a lot of people fuck with that Democratic Socialist shit like people think.
100% people don't fuck with Democratic socialism,
and that's on Bernie, and he got to run with that.
And Bernie has no black base.
That's the other wild shit.
I know it looks like that on social media.
But Bernie's base is Latinos and non-educated white people.
Yeah.
That's his base.
They said educated white people and African Americans,
they don't really rock with Bernie in that way.
Yeah.
You wouldn't think that because of the people who you see publicly adduced in Bernie,
the killer mics,
to see them in the interiors,
or even like, you know, Sean King, them on social media.
But it's like that.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it is interesting.
I just feel like the Democratic, you know,
establishment, the elites that kind of run it
are just so genius the way they manipulate people
in the thinking that, like, their vote matters.
Like nobody's vote matters less than like a,
Democrats vote because of the system that they construct, like this super delegate system,
for example, right?
It's specifically constructed so your vote means nothing if they want it to mean nothing.
Yeah.
Right?
So, for example, Bernie can win Iowa and then leave with the exact same amount of delegates
as I think Pete did, right?
Yeah.
I think that was what happened, right?
So they can basically shift the votes in whatever direction they want.
And now I'm looking at this kind of like bird's eye view and I'm like, oh, my gosh.
God, they orchestrated this shit from the beginning.
All these people, Kamala, like all these people will put there for a specific reason.
They're all funded by the exact same groups to give you the illusion of choice.
They want you to think that you have a choice.
This is what's so genius.
They give you 10 options.
They're like a magician.
You know how a magician goes, pick a card any card, but he's choosing the card you pick,
even though you don't realize he's choosing.
So that's what they're doing.
So they put enough people in the field to make you think.
you have a choice. They keep certain people afloat. They keep a Pee afloat. They keep a
Klobock. Why is Klobock even there still? Nobody's even asking a question.
I didn't like that either because her record as a prosecutor is worse than Senator Harris. And y'all
gave Senator Harris hell for her record. But here's a thing. Senator Harris, they want to be the VP.
So they'll take her out early so that she doesn't get torched on stage anymore and have her shit tainted.
The thing is all... I mean, it's smart. It's genius, right? So check it. So then you get to the
point where you get to the point where actually Pete is surgeon, they're doing pretty good.
Then before Super Tuesday, which is the last Tuesday's vote, right?
You have the two candidates that would have taken the most votes away from Biden drop out.
Where do their votes go?
Biden.
And now Elizabeth Warren, this goofy idiot doesn't also step.
She knows she can't win, right?
She knows she can't win.
She's a loser.
She's a loser.
She lost her own state.
She came in third.
She came in third.
She's a bad.
She's a loser.
But instead of being so.
But instead of being smart and supporting her agenda, she has her own ego because she needs to satisfy that.
She doesn't really care about people.
She has her ego.
So she stays in the race.
Who does that take votes away from?
Biden.
Bernie.
Oh, Bernie.
Bernie.
Yeah, you're right.
Bernie.
Right.
Because that's the person.
If she really cared about her agenda, she just go, okay, Bernie, we're rocking with you.
But no.
So he gets bodied that way.
But the establishment gets all the votes behind Biden.
Everything goes to Biden.
Now the whole thing is shifted and they're going to run away.
I thought it was kind of cool the way they jumped Bernie this week.
Oh, no, it was genius.
Only because we've been given the Democrats.
shit for not being on cold with each other, right?
Like, Republicans fall in line.
Well, no, but that was the thing about Trump that was so different.
A Trump situation could never happen in the Democratic Party
because the Democrats don't allow your vote to count.
Shit, that's about to happen now.
Well, here's a thing, right?
So it's like Republicans, because they actually believe in democracy more,
regardless of what you want to say, I'm someone who voted Democrat my entire life.
Republicans believe in democracy more.
I don't think either one of them believe in democracy, bro.
Say again.
I don't think either one of them believe in democracy.
They believe in it more.
they don't have superdelegates.
Simple as that.
I think I believe in.
Baseline?
That's a good point.
Baseline, they do not have super delegates.
That's a good point.
And that's all you need to know.
The whole idea of a super delegate is, what, they're voting for that guy?
No, no, no, no.
But isn't the electoral college kind of like a super delegate?
The electoral college, the idea behind it in a way, but it's also like, we need to make sure
that there are states that have representation here.
Because if the electoral college didn't exist, you would never go to an Ohio.
You'd never go.
You'd just go to New York.
You go to Texas.
You'd go to California.
And you'd be like, all the people.
Biden won three states last night.
he didn't go to. Yeah, he didn't go to the state where his
grandson that he doesn't acknowledge is there. Arkansas.
Granddad! Granddad!
No, for real. He didn't go to Massachusetts?
But isn't it interesting about like the whole Trump thing? The Republican
establishment did not want Trump. They were like, what the fuck is going on?
We'll do anything we can and not have this guy. But because the system
isn't built to rob you of your vote, he was able to
usurp it. That doesn't exist on the Democrat side.
That's why I think this.
Bernie gets fucked over and over again when we all want Bernie to be the candidate.
I don't know if everybody wants Bernie, bro.
I thought people would vote for Bernie.
I'm going to be honest you.
I thought people did, but I don't think people want Bernie as much as they say they want Bernie.
I'm going to tell you something else.
Young voters did not show up yesterday, bro.
Young voters did not show up.
So those young voters that are on social media claiming to love Bernie so much,
y'all didn't show up for Bernie.
I don't know if it's because it was the primaries or whatever, but y'all did not show up.
Yeah.
So you can't claim to love a candidate.
If you don't go.
If you don't go out there and vote for them.
I'm sorry.
I understand y'all.
Aura thinks that you can just tweet your way through shit.
All right?
But until they put the elections on social media and you can go online and just click who you want to pick.
Yeah.
That's not how this shit works.
You got to get your ass up.
Go stand in that voting booth and get your motherfucking sticker.
Yeah.
Simple as that.
Yeah.
But I don't know, man.
I just, I'm just tired of, because black people have a lot of political power, bro.
And I think Latinos realize how much political power they have what they vote.
I don't think black people have figured that out yet because boy, we give away that shit.
I don't know, man.
One, you have to detach party.
If you're loyal to one party, they will do nothing for you.
Now, that's number one.
I've been saying that we need a two pot, right?
Right?
You fucking, we need a block of black people who just say, I'm not rolling with no particular party.
I'm simply going to vote whoever puts my interest, my agenda on the table.
What are you doing for me?
That's it.
That's what Jews do?
I don't get fucking if it's red or blue.
Dude, tons of Jews, vote Trump, because he's like, hey,
I support Israel.
Hey, we're going to give you the Golan Heights or Trump Heights or whatever the fuck you want.
And now they flip.
Simple as that.
I think everybody should be like that, though.
They should.
I think party people are so whack.
I've been seeing some disgusting stuff from party people.
You know why?
Because they move the goalpost so much.
They're such hypocrites, right?
They do things that contradict them all the time.
Like, they'll bash a Bloomberg for the stopping frist or bash Biden for voting for the 94 crime bill, but lift up Biden.
But lift up Biden.
You know what I'm saying?
And he wrote them shit.
Like, he wrote the 94 crime.
Bill. You wrote the 86 crack law. So it was just like, I don't like the hypocrisy. I don't like
Elizabeth Warren saying, hey, Joe, Mayor Bloomberg, you should drop out of the race because
if you're past inappropriateness with women.
Ugh. You fucking Biden's right there.
Like, you didn't give Joe Biden that same energy. So for me, I just don't like the hypocrisy of it.
You know why? Because the establishment said, hey. Because of the establishment.
He said, hey, Warren, you're not here to win. You're here to take down Bernie, which they tried to do.
You know that it was her that was behind that Joe Rogan attack.
Remember when they went after board?
Yeah, her people.
And there's a specific woman who runs a PR firm, and I'm forgetting her fucking name,
but I looked into it and I found out who it was, who's as big.
So it was the Warren people that funded that attack on Rogan right after he supported Bernie.
So Warren's part of this whole thing, too.
She knows she not there to win.
You are there to distract and you're there to maintain the status quo,
and that means take boats away from Bernie.
So he doesn't get those fucking superdelegates so that they can put Biden in who's basically a robot in position and do whatever they want.
I don't trust any of them and I don't have to.
All I care about is policies, not personalities.
I care about interests, not individuals.
That's it.
Here's a question.
What's on this paper, baby?
What's this agenda look like?
If you thought that Trump's agenda for black people was better than Biden's, could you vote for Trump?
I'm not ready to do that, Andrew.
I'm pussy.
That's an honest answer, son.
That's an honest answer, bro.
That's an honest answer.
Because a lot of smoke comes with that, bro.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yo, he would have to have the most amazing.
Like, you know, Trump would have to say reparations for everybody.
What if Trump said?
Big boy reparations too.
What if Trump?
A million dollars for every black person in America.
That's a lot.
Right now. Right now.
Like, it would have to be something big.
Like, it would have to be something to where you take into L because everybody's benefiting in a real way.
And you.
give everybody this million dollars, right?
And you got to, the economy got to stay where the fuck it is.
No inflation.
That's right.
You got to, if any of you companies start fucking inflating your prices, buy, baby.
That's the only fucking way.
She ain't going to get expensive once we get money.
No way, God damn it.
Okay, what if Trump was like, if I am president, black men can cheat again?
Nah.
Nah.
No, yeah.
Nah.
Nah.
Nah.
I'll be looking at Trump like Trump,
you're a wild boy, you're wild.
I'll have to call him a Knicker, you, hey, nigger.
You're a wild nigger, bro.
You ain't the first black president, but I see you.
Nah, no, no, no, no.
I'm not doing none, no, no, no.
Listen, in all seriousness,
it would have to be something extremely monumental
that shifts the culture and the community of blackness
forever in a real way.
The economic empowerment.
Bro, that's all I care about.
The progress of black people.
So he would have to do something
that was that big.
But if he did,
do you think that you could galvanize support for him?
Or would you just do a private?
You would almost have to.
If, but see, hit the thing with all those politicians.
And you could, you could, if that was the case,
you could overlook some of his past transgressions
and some of his past attitudes.
Wouldn't give a shit.
Or current attitudes.
I wouldn't give a fuck.
So that being said...
What a bag at.
So that being said, do you understand why...
And I'm still...
Or whites voted for him last election?
No.
No, but I get it because he sold him a dream.
Yeah, I get it.
They bought into a dream.
You know what I mean?
But my thing with is, what happens in a lot of those situations is those politicians
is those politicians dump the bag.
And when people get the bag, they forget about other people that are hurting.
They'll forget about the kids and the cages at the border.
You know what I'm saying?
They'll forget about the LGBT rights that are being scripted away, right?
And you can't do that.
I think you can simultaneously do both, right?
You can get this bag from somebody, but then you can also hold people accountable, right?
Because, I mean, I would think that's what reparations would be anyway.
If America ever did give black people reparations, well, we're going to just stop holding races accountable.
We're going to just stop holding homophobes accountable.
I think that you can vote for someone and be very critical.
of a lot of their policies.
You would have to, but that's the problem.
That's why we get so mad at these politicians
when they take money from the corporations,
when they take money from the billionaire,
and we think they're going to be beholding to them.
I always go back to that Jay Z lyric, right?
Like, I can't help the poor if I'm one of them.
I'm with you.
So it's like, if you want to make change,
and he was out there giving a million dollars
to these black person, this is a hypothetical, right?
With that million dollars,
now you guys are a powerful economic lobby as well.
And maybe you take that money, you go,
yo, we're not doing cages no more, bro.
You want our vote?
That's it.
You know what I'm saying?
But you got to put your oxygen mask on first.
It's like the airplane shit we always say.
Yeah, man.
So I understand when people vote their interests,
especially if they're looking out for dire needs in the moment.
It's a luxury to vote someone else's interest.
That's abundance.
That's privilege.
If you can sit down and go, who else needs help?
You are in a privileged fucking situation, bro.
Yeah.
And listen, all we're doing is buying the dreams.
Like, people would be like, well, how you know, you said you like Bloomberg's Greenwood initiative?
You like Matt Pete's Douglas playing.
How you know they're going to do that?
How you know Bernie going to fucking erase the student loan?
it.
There's no way it's happening.
How do you know he's going to be better
careful?
You think he's really going to get
like, get out of here,
you're buying into the best dream
that fits you.
That's it.
You're buying into your interest.
Nothing more, nothing less.
We're going to tax Wall Street.
How?
There's no such thing as earnings.
The money stays in the stock.
You have to cash out the stock
for it to be earnings.
It's like, you don't think
that, you don't think rich people
have figured out the system.
This is what people don't get.
In order to prove income,
you have to remove the money from the stock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
So once you remove the money from the stock,
you get tax it, they ain't taking that money out.
What they do is they take loans
on the stock while it's there.
And loans,
wait, are loans taxable?
Loans are not taxable, right?
It doesn't matter.
This is the brilliant idiots.
If it sounds good, let it fly.
That's what politicians do.
Go.
Well, that's the thing that they're doing.
They just found a way to create an economy
within their economy.
Like, Warren Buffett doesn't even make any money.
He just takes a loan off of the,
what's like a Burshare-Hathaway stock.
Right?
That's all it is.
And a bank goes, well, yeah, he'll pay it back
because he's fucking Warren Buffett.
Am I crazy?
Or you never hear them talk about
who they're going to vote for.
Never.
I think I might have heard Bill Gates say one time
he would vote for Trump against Bernie.
Do you understand what they're doing, these fucking
billionaires, bro?
They dress like substitute teachers.
I love it.
For us.
Love it.
Because if they walked around
like the Migos flexing,
we would murder them.
We would murder everyone.
Can you imagine Warren Buffett's stunting on your fuck ass?
Can you imagine?
We'd be dead.
We'd kill him.
We'd just kill him.
The jealousy and envy would fucking drive you crazy.
So he has to wear khakis every day
and drink his little diet Coke on a fucking scoop.
I drive a Honda Civic.
No, you don't.
Stop it.
They ain't driving a fucking Honda Civic.
All those UFOs you see flying?
That's it.
Every time you see an unidentified flying object,
that's it.
Buffet, it's Gates.
I'm about to say jobs, but that might really be him.
He might really be.
I might have got the fuck out of here.
I'm too rich to be here.
Bro, Bill Gates bought that huge fucking yacht.
Did you see that yacht?
No.
He bought this massive fucking yacht.
What the fuck?
You got to see it.
It's millions and millions of dollars.
If I Google Bill Gates Yacht, you're going to see it, right?
Why do you think he bought a yacht, Charlemagne?
Why do you think they bought their, Edding got it for you right there?
Now, why do you think he got that yacht?
Damn, that's your flies, bro.
He got that yacht because he wanted to dress normal.
You know how much his yacht is?
Okay.
You know what you paid for that yacht?
$40 million?
$330 million.
Light.
And that's light.
That's something light, bro.
But he got so much shit for it because it's like, wait a minute.
Why are you acting like you're rich?
They got to pretend they're poor to keep that money or else we will fucking murder them.
Yeah, the jealousy would eat us alive, man.
Imagine being in the club with goddamn Robert Smith.
And you're like, yo, man, I'm going to buy a bottle.
Somebody else be like, now I'm going to buy the bar.
Robert was like,
I just bought this whole block.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't know who Robert Smith is.
Robert Smith is worth $5 million
rich as African-American in the world.
Oh, okay.
Well, not the world, in America.
In America.
Yeah, in America.
But anyway, it's just, they have to do it.
They have to keep this, all their fucking PR,
if you notice.
Like, I remember I once saw Bill Gates in a casino,
and I didn't pick up on it.
I was in Vegas, and he's playing $3 Chinese poker.
This is before coronavirus.
What a jerk.
What a fucking jerk.
And, yeah, dude.
And I'm like, oh, he's a man of the people.
He got me.
He got me.
Him and his wife, right?
His wife's wearing some stupid sandals and khakis too.
They're wearing the same outfit, right?
Billionaires, right?
And I'm like, oh my God.
This is the PR team going, hey, go in the casino, don't have any security.
Just play some Chinese poker.
People will be like, he plays $3 Chinese poker.
He's one of us.
He's regular.
They do that little 15 minute shit.
Done.
If I'm a hater, I'm walking upon you and I'm saying,
yo, Bill Gates, you a fuck boy.
You in here trying to win more money, you piece of fucking shit.
The fuck is wrong with you.
You should be out here giving money to us so we can't motherfucking gamble.
Y'all, let me get some chips.
The fuck is wrong with you.
And you're playing Chinese poker?
You know what I'm saying?
You can pay the debt that America owes to China with all the fucking money you got.
And you're out here giving them more money?
I hope you get that corona, bro, and walk off.
You know what I'm saying?
Fuck that.
You're right about that, though.
You really got to dumb yourself down, humble the fuck out of yourself if you're one of those people.
Because you know how foul shit really is, bro.
They know how foul they are.
They know what they're doing is unfair.
They know how many people they've got to squash to do what they're doing.
What if Bill Gates and Warren Buffett look at that meme with them that says,
whatever amount of money in this picture and not one Gucci belt?
And then they just look in their closet full of Gucci belts.
They're like, shit.
If they knew.
If you only knew, I stunt different.
Yo, what's up at that party on Mars this weekend?
You know what I'm saying?
I'm serious.
They probably stunt on a whole different level.
That fucking Boat Bill Gates.
had probably just came up from underwater, bro.
They're probably under there.
Why not?
They can't be above water.
Atlanta's probably popping.
Atlantis?
Yes, the city of Atlanta.
Oh, I thought he said Atlanta.
No, man.
No real rich people in Atlanta.
You got some good guys.
I'm talking about compared.
Cute rich.
I mean, I would love to be Tyler Perry rich.
I'd love to be the rock rich.
But to Bill Gates and Warren Buffett,
come on, man.
Please.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop it.
It's a different level.
Let's pay some bills.
Less booey.
I got a pee anyway.
All right, I got this.
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All right.
Macari, do you have a bunch of stuff lying around the house
that you just don't use?
I definitely do them.
I got so much stuff lying around the house.
My closet collapsed the other day.
And my wife is very mad.
It collapsed?
It collapsed, bro.
Like the shel?
The hangers, the shells, everything just boom.
And I jumped up in the middle of the night
because I thought they was coming.
I thought that was them.
And people that have, I'm serious.
Those folks that I've been worrying about coming to get me,
whether it's the goddamn government or the jack boys,
I was like, they finally fuck the hell.
Let's go, goddamn it, right?
Oh, I was out.
I was ready.
Top of the stairs.
Yo, why do I?
First of all, why did I do that?
I don't know.
I'm here.
In case you were wondering where I was to shoot me.
Exactly.
My wife was like, yo, the kids are asleep.
So I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in the house.
Did you grab pistol?
Did you grab pistol?
I was ready.
Yes.
So I'm trying to figure out what's going on in the house,
but I'm too pussy to lead a stairs case, right?
So I stay at the top of the staircase,
because at least I know they got to come up here.
I got them, right?
Yeah.
So I'm looking around, I'm like, where the security camera?
She's like, oh.
I'm like, oh, what?
Fucking closet, whole closet.
Shelves, everything.
Boom, it just fell.
So I'm saying all that to say.
I have a bunch of stuff lying around the house.
And I'm not using, okay?
A bunch of shit.
Jeans.
I got so much PRPS.
I got a bunch of shit.
Shirts that say all black, everything.
I'm giving them the,
white homeless shelter.
But there's an app you can use to sell this stuff.
It's called Macari.
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M-E-R-C-A-R-C-A-R-I-M-C-A-R-I-M-C-R-E-Selling.
You got new church-A-Nouncements?
The announcements are a very important part of what we do in church.
I do, man.
Yo, we sold out all four shows for the special tap-in.
I've been talking to the production company,
see if we could make some more seats available.
If that interests you guys, let me know.
April 11th and 12th, this in LA, man.
I want to have as many people there as possible.
So just hit me up if that's exciting.
We've added new shows to Mad Or Tour before then.
Make sure you go get them tickets.
We add another show in Portland.
Might be sold out now, but go check that out.
We got Redding, PA, Tucson, Arizona's.
Tucson's going to be the last show I do before.
We do the special tapings, so that's going to be a lot of fun.
We added another show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Make sure you check that out.
Theandrus.shaws.com.
We have a bunch more that added.
go get those tickets.
And again, get them early
because it sells out
and everybody's upset about it.
I'm telling you right now,
get on it, get on it, get on it.
That's right.
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I swear to God,
I never can remember.
But back to the show.
I want to bring my man
humble to poet.
Humble the poet pulled up.
Taylor, let them sit there.
Right here.
Right in the middle.
I want to talk to Humble Ann Schultz
about something that I know
is near and dear to their heart
since we're going to get into
shit you won't care about next week.
And I want to talk to y'all about
basketball. Okay. Do you want to
maybe lift up the chair a little bit?
Is that possible? Does it go?
The reason I want to talk to y'all about basketball
is because
I know that
this is so funny.
What? Somebody just
posted because, you know, they're going in on Sean King.
Fluke's Sean King.
They maddened. Last night, Sean King
called Rachel Maddow out on something that Rachel
Maddo did not say, and Rachel
Matto tweeted him and said, what the fuck are you talking about?
She didn't say what the fuck you talk about, but she was
I did not say that.
She actually said something about Bloomberg,
but for whatever reason, Sean heard Biden,
and he doubled-tri-downed so now they're killing him.
And somebody just said, nickname for Sean King,
Talcombex, Martin Luther Cream,
Talcumette.
Pale Revere, Tupac Chagore,
Alexander Scamilton,
Shaka Khan, as in Khan, C-O-N-L-L-C-O-N-Lac-C-N-Lac-O-J Simpson.
Snow-J Simpson is good.
W-E-B-D-Fraud.
God damn it.
I don't know who you are, Timothy Alvarez,
but you just made me laugh.
You need to sit down with Sean King.
Has anybody just looked him and said,
why is everybody in your family white but you?
I've never met Sean King.
Has anybody asked that specific question?
I've never met Sean King.
Have you seen his brother?
No.
Look at a picture of his brother.
It looks like he works at GameStop.
Only reason I don't give,
I don't give Sean King hell
because Sean King does fight the good fight.
That's it.
Like, I mean, I don't, I don't know what people want from Sean King.
You know what I'm saying?
Just honesty.
That's it.
He just gets caught up sometime.
But think about it, right?
When you're a shooter.
Yeah.
When you're a shooter.
Yeah.
Sometimes you're going to hit the wrong shit.
You know what I'm saying?
If that's what you do every day, if you've devoted your life to going that shit,
you know, fighting for different causes, calling people out, whatever, whatever.
Every now and then you're going to get it wrong.
And guess what?
When you get it wrong, you got to take them out of else, man.
But what does he do?
Like, do black people need to be convinced that the world's racist?
Like, who are you fucking?
working for. Black people know the world's racist. White people think you're an idiot because you're
lying about not being white. So literally all you're doing is selling trauma back to the black
people you say you're supporting. And it's the biggest horseshit, if you ask me. I think he brings
attention to a lot of things that necessarily don't get attention. What? What? Every time attention
is brought, it's wrong. Just what? Let me read the tweet that he said. I mean, he's the reason we got
Snow Jay Simpson's now. That is not lame. I love it. I mean, okay, fair enough.
He gave us a good name.
He gave us a good moniker.
I just don't understand who he's helping.
Like, does he feel like black people wouldn't know that they experience racism every day if it wasn't for him tweeting about it?
Well, okay.
Like black people get...
I get it.
I mean, I think that too.
I think sometimes you just, you know, rehashing trauma.
It is the most white thing to do.
But I think he does explain to black people.
He's white-splaining to black people.
Hey, guys, it's rough for you.
I think he has a very diverse audience.
And so he does bring attention to shit that.
a lot of other people, especially white people, wouldn't know.
And I've seen Sean King raise a lot of fucking money for different causes just because of social media.
He's very good with the money.
Like, everybody checked his books.
He's not.
I mean, some people, there was a thing one time when they said he was stealing money, but he opened up his books and let everybody see.
And everybody so. So, I'm not calling him a thief or anything like that.
I just don't understand his purpose and the ego.
I would love to sit down with him and have him explain how he's helping black people.
I would love that.
I just don't understand.
I'd love to have that convo with Sean.
He tweeted out breaking MSNBC and Rachel Maddo just reported that multiple senior officials within the Democratic Party are interfering with the primaries to stop Bernie Sanders.
Rachel said, what?
No, I didn't report any such thing.
So then they put out the clip of Rachel and she was actually talking about Bloomberg.
And Sean just tweeted out some absolutely hilarious disses about me and the trending topics.
I've trended dozens of times across the years and have learned to just roll with it at this point.
You grow thick skin and get impervious to it eventually.
now.
W.E.B. DeFraud hurt a little bit.
I know that hurt a little.
W.E.B. DeFraud heard a little bit.
Come on now.
That hurt a little bit.
He wasn't bullied enough by his family.
That's it, bro.
He had that white family.
If he had black family, he'd be good.
Right?
He had the white school shooter family.
That's who he grew up with.
All right.
Enough politics.
I want to talk to y'all things that you won't care about next week.
Humble to the poet is here.
I'm the thing you're not going to care.
about next week.
Come on, son, you had one job.
I don't care, I don't care.
All right.
We're getting there, guys.
All right, we slowly but surely.
We're getting this thing together, man.
I think one I don't care would have been good.
It's one.
Didn't need the drum roll.
Didn't need the drum roll.
It was like, soon as I say shit, I don't care about next week,
I don't care, boom.
I'd be hot.
I saw producing on the spot.
This is cool.
Now, come with a poet.
It's from Toronto.
Yes.
Big basketball coach in Toronto.
Can't deny it.
We run it.
Right?
It is two people that are synonymous with their sports teams that one, I think, created
the lane for the other one.
And that is the great Spike Lee.
For the New York Knicks.
I think that he has been the most popular figure in Madison Square Garden for the past 20 years,
including players and everybody.
That's my personal opinion.
You're a Knicks fan.
You probably can.
I think you're right, man.
He's the mascot.
He is the fucking NASCAR.
You all have Drake.
Yep.
Right?
So when you see what happened to Spike Lee
Yep.
This week, Spike Lee wants to come through the employee entrance.
Right.
At the garden.
Right.
And they wouldn't let them.
Got into a little shot and match, whatever, whatever, wanted to come through the regular VIP.
What did you think about that, Schultz?
Well, James Dullen, the owner of the Knicks is a complete fucking idiot.
I mean, I boycotted the Knicks this year.
I was a season ticket holder.
Okay.
And I gave up my season tickets.
I don't watch a game on TV.
Wow.
I won't do anything.
Wow.
Until he doesn't have to sell the team, but he has to remove himself as this controlling figure on a team.
Ooh.
So I said he should sell the team, but what you said makes sense.
Yeah, it's like, you don't need it.
Why would you sell it?
I mean, it's the best thing to have in the world.
You have the number one franchise.
Hire a basketball, president of basketball operations.
Let him actually run.
But let him actually do it.
Because the way Dolan runs his businesses are, is if you are loyal to Dolan,
nothing bad can happen to you.
You just get repurposed.
Like even Mills, right,
who I think was the president, Steve Mills,
he got fired and then put on the board.
Wow.
He actually got a better job after being fired
because the thing with Dolan is he's loyal as fuck.
And if you show loyalty to him,
that's what happened to Isaiah Thomas.
So Isaiah Thomas got in that whole
like Me Too situation with the girl, right?
Word on the street is
Isaiah Thomas took that elf for Dolan.
Really?
Word on the street is Dolan was the one acting wild
I like gossip
Let's go
Let's go out team baby
Was the one acting wild
With the person who worked for him
Right
And Isaiah kind of took that L for him
And that's why Isaiah didn't get fired
He got moved to
Some other position
He was like oh he'll be the head of the liberty
He got a Me Too case
And then they put him on the head of the WNBA team
That's crazy
You're saying like you know how Mel Gibson
Doesn't put his name on top of his movies no more
Exactly
But they're putting them out
And someone's backing them
Exactly
So if he still makes movies
Yeah
He doesn't put his name on him
Yeah
That's smart
I didn't know that
So the thing with
So the thing with Spike Lee is this
First of all
It's corny
It's foul
It's just dumb
The fact that Spike Lee's been paying
Top Dollar for his tickets
All these years is
hysterical
And like
That shit hurts my fucking heart
Can you really call James Dolan
Loyal
When you got a guy
Spike Lee that said
He spent like
10 million dollars
Over how many years
On Nick's tickets
You're not even
Give a Spike a discount
That's what I'm saying
Spikes, you get free tickets.
We got Nav Batia Superfan.
They gave him a ring.
Really?
Yeah, the Punjabi dude.
He's never missed home games because the Raptors is 25 years old.
So since day one, he's been to every single home game.
I see that's loyalty, bro.
You've seen him.
He's the Punjabi dude that's like under the basket.
Come on.
He has a turban on.
So he's there.
Humble's there.
I'm supposed to know all of them apart.
They all got, like, it's Toronto.
How long are you getting those seats, bro?
Toronto.
You're too humble.
When you switch his name to Cocky the movie.
He's maddy turbines in the crowd.
This guy's specific.
Yeah, there are a lot of turbines.
That's why I said he's so dope.
But here's the thing about these policies.
Because I asked around some of my friends and I was like,
what do you think about this whole Spike Lee thing?
He goes, these policies are never directed at the individual.
Right?
These policies are directed just at the stadium themselves.
And everybody gets an email.
Spike got an email.
They said, hey, we're no longer doing employee entrance.
Now, if you are classy and intelligent in a smart organization,
you do a personal call to Spike
and you go, hey, since you are
the most loyal Nick fan ever
and we haven't done anything to earn your loyalty,
we just want to let you know
we're not doing employee entrance anymore.
If you need us to bring you through another entrance,
we can work that out.
But that, I guess, never happened.
They definitely got an email.
How about if Spike comes to the employee entrance?
You still let Spike in through the fucking employee entrance.
100%.
Like, Spike said he's been coming through that entrance
for 20 plus years.
Like, who cares?
Spike Lee.
You're 100% right?
I guess what I'm saying, the policy is never directed at individuals.
It's just a company-wide policy and then an email goes out.
And I've asked other friends who, like, work for organizations and they do these types of things.
But if it's Spike Lee, one, you just let him in.
And then two, you make sure you give him a personal phone call so that he's not embarrassed.
This is somebody who's, like, ridden so hard for the Knicks, especially during the worst times.
It's like the least that you could do is call.
But that just shows you how detached Dolan is.
because I guarantee those 19-year-old girls that he sits in the front row.
You know the Dolan seats for his shorties,
a little 19-20-year-old model girls.
I didn't know if that was full.
Oh, yeah.
They sit with him with a little 19-20-year-old model girls right there.
I bet they don't walk through the regular entrance.
I bet they go through the employee entrance, huh?
Are the employees of yours, James?
Do we need to know something?
Boy, they come through the side door.
Side chicks.
Maybe the back door.
Maybe that's later.
Listen, if I let you come through the back door,
I'm letting you come into any entrance I want to.
because I don't need nobody to you telling nobody about what we do
it's just us together.
You come through my back door, I come in your back door.
That's right.
Exactly.
So would that ever happen to Drake?
No, that would not happen to Drake.
100%.
That's my point though.
They give Drake the keys in Toronto, bro.
But that's my point.
That's why New York ain't shit.
That's why the Knicks ain't shit.
They gave him to have a ring.
Do you know what I mean?
Drake got one too.
Yeah.
But I think he's an official employee though.
He's an ambassador.
But, like, here's the thing about rings.
Not all employees get rings.
Oh, really?
The rings that players get are different than the ring that a coach,
no, maybe not the coach, but a ring that, like, a GM or president might get.
And the guy who's, like, the custodian, he might not got a ring.
It's not for everybody.
I thought if you were an employee of the team, like, the accountant's going to ring.
Nope.
No.
Nope.
Oh, wow.
Really?
Just the players and...
You were accounting.
Do you know what I mean?
You weren't with me shooting in a gym?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You might get a version of the ring, but it's not the ring.
You were paying to keep the lights on into the gym so I can see the shot.
But then players, though, dude.
Then players are getting the fans in it.
New York's held hostage.
We are.
And we fucked up.
The only way you do it is you boycott it because that's the only thing he'll listen to.
If nobody shows up to the games, he'll be forced to make a change.
I'm not even saying sell the team because I would never sell a team.
But you have to change something.
If it doesn't work, you change it.
If you keep trying the same thing over and over again, you're crazy, right?
That's the definition.
Absolutely.
Insanity is doing the same thing.
anything over and over expecting different results.
Boom.
But by the way, that's, like you said, it's the fan's fault
because y'all keep showing the fuck up.
Not me.
You show up for mediocre product.
That's why when Spike Lee said,
I'm not going to the games for the rest of the season,
I think every Knicks fan should follow suit
and then do what Andrew did
and then don't go next year either.
Spike shouldn't go until it changes.
And if I was a player,
I would never come play for the Knicks.
I saw y'all arrest Charles Oakley.
I saw y'all motherfucking fuck Spike Lee up
and won't let him in.
Why would I ever come play with y'all?
What respect to y'all show y'all players?
Real talk.
Yo, if I'm Spike, I keep buying the tickets.
Yo, I do a GoFund me.
Keep buying the tickets and make sure them shits are empty every single game.
You have two support.
But whatever, but whatever, we could go fund me it.
But the fact that those two seats would be empty on every single game,
every single game, MSJUC, empty seats.
That was where the boycott could start.
And then maybe some other people are like, you know, I had enough of this.
I'm going to have my seats empty to.
Imagine the Knicks played every single home game.
with the entire front row all empty
because the biggest supporters
the ones who put the real money down
are like, I'm not even gonna watch this.
You know how embarrassing that would be to James Dolan?
Yeah, man.
That's how we do it.
The big guy's got to put that fucking money up.
James, James Dolan, if you're listening,
do the right thing, okay?
Do the right thing.
What do you all think about?
Do you even know who LifeGen exists?
Yes.
Okay.
He's the guy that did that song, right?
He spent a lot of time in jail, then came out, then went back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Frog hopping.
He was upset.
Must be nice.
You have the clip?
He's upset again?
You have, well, you know, you have the clip of evil, the clip that he was mad at?
Let's play that because it's not even about life.
It's about a broader topic because, you know, Humble's clearly about to get married.
Andrew's about to get married.
I am married.
You know what I'm saying?
Wait, did you propose?
What?
Are you engaged?
I did not propose, but I am.
I'm a forever fiance.
Wait, what does that mean?
What the fuck does that mean?
You propose?
Are you scared of commitment?
Huh?
Are you scared of commitment?
No, that means I can't be talking on podcast when I haven't talked to my parents yet.
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
You proposed to him?
Way, hold up.
Hold up.
Come on up, Miss Humble.
Miss Humble, we got another microphone for you.
Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.
You, wait a minute.
You haven't told his parents.
Well, they're going to find.
They're not going to listen to this podcast.
So you proposed to humble a poet?
I did.
Ooh.
How'd you propose?
How'd you propose?
Um, on a boat in Trinidad.
Oh!
Wait, just recently.
Big brother.
Don't leave me hanging.
Yo.
Corona.
Corona.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Hold on a boat.
Right?
You get down on one knee?
Yes.
And you had a ring?
No.
How'd you do it?
I just told him.
I want to marry you.
And then he was like, why are you asking me?
He was so confused.
That was cute.
I was like, why are you telling me this right now?
She's like, no, look, everyone's watching.
You know, I'd be looking at our whole squad's like,
I was like, oh, shit, this is happening like that.
Humble, when she dropped to her knees,
it had to be a little pervert part of you that was like,
right here in front of everybody.
In the water?
It's funny.
Neither of us can swim.
So we got those noodles in between our legs.
Yeah.
So we're walking around.
I'm like, oh, look, our dicks are touching.
This is the guy you want to marry.
So you proposed to him.
Now, were you a little bit insecure about proposing?
Because it's like there's a gender bias when it comes to that?
Not at all.
I think a lot of it was me wanting to do it exactly because of that.
Because I grew up in a family where females were always pushed to do whatever they wanted.
Okay.
And it was never like male-female.
So I was like, I'm ready to get married.
I know he's not going to say no.
So I'm going to do it.
There's no, what's you call it, patriarchy?
Yeah, patriarchy.
Although there is a lot of patriarchy in the community, just not in my family.
Right.
Your family's pushing back.
How did you feel humble when, like, I want to ask you?
How'd you feel?
That's how I felt, because my whole thing literally, for me, for me, it was much more of an administrative delay.
I'm waiting on my visa.
So all it was is like, yo, when I get my visa, I'm going to take her to City Hall.
Then she gets a visa instantly.
And then we'll worry about the family stuff later.
and then literally like I'm still two, three weeks waiting.
Hold, are you marrying for green cards?
Huh?
What's going on here?
What am I missing?
Hold on.
What the fuck am I missing?
No, no.
I'm so I'm going, so I'm Canadian.
Okay.
But now I'm getting a lot of work in the States.
Gotcha.
So I'm getting a talent visa.
And then all it is, and she's been out here doing her thing.
But all it is is if we're married, then she can benefit from that visa.
Got you.
So I was just like a buddy pass.
Like a buddy pass.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I was just waiting on that.
Just every time I thought I was going to get it,
they ask me more questions, fill up more forms and everything.
So I was waiting on that.
And then when she said this, I was just like,
ah, three weeks.
It would have went the other way.
So do you still get a ring?
I have a ring.
Wait, you bought yourself one?
No, I bought a bag.
So after the proposal, you bought her a ring.
No, I bought that ring a while about.
Do you need a ring?
Do you need a ring to make an official?
We're just doing everything backwards.
Yeah, this is so confusing.
So you got her a ring, but you,
You didn't propose.
Then she proposed to you.
And now the ring is an engagement.
Now I probably got to get another ring.
Yeah, I think you got to get another one, dog.
I have no issues with that.
Hey, yo, I'm going to be honest with you know,
I think that's fly.
And the reason I think it's flies
because I think it's a lot of women out there
waiting to get married.
And maybe just, maybe the guy just has cold feet
or doesn't know exactly how to do it.
Maybe he's a little afraid that you may say,
no, you might need to take that first step.
I don't see the problem with that.
And we was having all, like, all the conversations were happening.
That's, you know, that's the thing, too, because in brown cultures,
most people are getting arranged marriages, so nobody has those opportunities.
But we were already having all the conversations.
Yeah.
All the, the unsexy adult conversations about where to live, how to do things,
all that.
So that was all there.
So in my head, so even when she said it, she was like, I want to marry you.
I was like, why are you saying this to me?
Like, we haven't been talking about this.
And then when she pointed to everybody, I realized it was a moment.
Ah.
Because she was supposed to take me to, she was supposed to walk to the beach.
And why didn't you walk to?
the beach.
Tell them.
Because there was too much
seaweed and it was gross.
That was the plan to walk to the shore and then get down on my knee.
Yeah.
But then there was too much seaweed and I was like,
I'm just going to have to do it right here.
Yo, I don't know, man.
If my girl gets down on my knee, dog,
I mean, get up.
Get up, yo.
Chill with all this shit.
Come on, you.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think I got some patriarchy in me or some shit.
I admire it.
I think it's cool.
I didn't know what it was coming.
No, I got patriarchy in me too.
I just didn't know it was coming.
I honestly just I was completely confused
until I saw the crowd of people
and like one dude was already crying
and he's just like
We only have patriarchy
because that's how society
That's what they put in our head
You know what I'm saying
Like it's just like when you on a plane
And like you know you see a woman with a heavy bag
And you're like yo let me get that for you
And you're like no I got it
Let me get that for you
And you're like no I got it
And then when you go to get it
And you're like yeah this shit heavy
You probably should do so
Or at least help me
You know what I'm saying?
Help me pick it up
You know what happened
We're flying back
from Miami or something like that,
I had my phone in one hand, right?
And I had my luggage
I had to put in the overhead bin, right?
And it was a roll-on, so that shit was kind of heavy.
And I lifted with one hand, I tried to
one-hand it. One-hand and a roll-on
is tough, right? So I'm one-handed
and my shit dropped back real quick.
And then I picked it up, and this woman next to me,
she's like, I'll help you with that.
And then, like, she put my luggage in the overhead
bin, and I just look back
at Al and Mark, and they were just like,
yo, man, come on, bro.
I'm embarrassed.
talking like, dude, I had ladies
taking care of my luggage, bro.
That shit, she toned down your sexism
a little bit. What? That one moment
she toned down your sexism.
No, I've raised it. No, she toned it down.
Dude, I was in an emergency exit. I was
looking at her like, yo, I got this if anything
goes down. But no, no, everybody's safe.
Everybody's a real reason.
I need a verbal yes. I was like, yes.
Yes, we're safe today.
That's funny. You got to be
extra sexist if something happens.
Sweetheart. Got it.
Baby.
I got this.
All right.
See you know what I'm saying?
You want some snacks?
I'll pay for you.
I got you.
Pick your snack box, babe.
But no, I got,
I talked about that because Life Jennings said that a,
uh,
changing your daughter's last name from her father's to somebody else's is whack.
From her father's to someone else's.
Somebody else's is whack.
Give me an example.
What does that mean?
Play it.
Can you break that down?
Sterling like everybody else.
She has legally changed her name this fast.
year it was we went through a lot to do it but how much more before the actual uh process is done
well the name change is illegal so now we have to go through the adoption process and i mean he's
making it a little bit easier for us acting crazy in the public so i'm confused so life jennings has a
kid no no life don't have nothing to do with this what life just commented on um life commented on the
situation, but Eva has a kid with somebody
and Kevin McCall
and Eva wants to change
the last name
of the child from the father's last name.
To DeVernay.
To her husband's last name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Okay, talk to me.
No.
It's my nut.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if you're not
in the kid's life? My nut is the kid.
Okay. I am the kid's life.
Got you, got you, got you.
It's my last name.
Yes.
What about Lori Harvey?
No.
What about Lori Harvey?
Lori Harvey's adopted, but still, no.
He is.
No, that's my kid.
But then again, you know what?
I will say this.
I'm saying that as someone who would always be in my kid's life.
But if you're not in your kid's life.
That's what I'm saying.
If you adopt a kid, would you want to change their last name?
No, that's all on the kid.
If I adopt the kid, I'm definitely changing the last name.
You think I paid for this child to not have my last name, humble?
Wait, adopted, like, from China?
or something like that.
I don't get away.
Or let's say you fall in love with somebody who has a child.
Who already has a child?
How old is the child?
12.
God, dang.
No, no.
All depends on the relationship with the pops.
Because if my girl has a kid and the pops is still in the picture,
I want the best relationship with the pops possible
because that's going to be the best outcome for the kid.
I don't want the kid playing favorites between the different five figures and leg.
Like, I want to be homies.
I don't know if that's possible, but I would love.
to be homies with the dad because it's like,
yo, I can't make the baseball game.
I got you.
You know what I mean?
Like, we're there for the kid.
The last thing I want to do is create some animosity
where the kid's using my last name.
Now the dad looking to me like,
not only did I take his girl,
took his kid.
My sister's divorce and my nephew
still has his father's last name.
My nephew's like becoming a really good football player.
And I want to like wear his jersey,
but it's my sister's ex's last name.
So I can't even rep.
Wow.
I never thought about that scenario.
But he gets his name on the jersey?
My nephew's playing high level of football now,
so he's got like jerseys with the name on.
Canada, bro.
Canada, bro.
But is his dad in the world?
Yeah, they're 50-50.
And are they cool?
Or it's not cool?
I mean, like, my family isn't trying to see him his side at all, ever.
Is he in his child's life, though?
Yeah.
He can't just change his last name.
But no one's trying to change it.
I just want to rock a jersey.
I'm just like, ooh, I can't walk around with that last name.
If you tell me, like, sing or one of the child's name.
You tell me like Singh or one of these really popular names.
No, no, not a generic one.
No, it's like a specific one.
Okay.
My thing is this.
The purpose of sing was to get, because when in Punjabi culture, you can tell a person's
cast by their last name.
Right.
They're cast?
They're cast.
Like, are they a farmer?
Are they in business or what have you?
Gotcha, got you.
And based off that, there's a lot of discrimination.
So Singh came into the picture to kind of whitewash it all.
And that way you can't tell who's what.
Right.
Because all, not all, but like a lot of the Punjabis have that name.
They don't have it legally.
They use it.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Because what sing is the, that means prosperity or something?
Singh means lion.
Lion?
Lion.
Like lion, animal, lion.
Oh, I thought you mean like Joe Biden lying.
I mean like lying.
Like, roar.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then for women, it's core.
K-A-U-R.
And that means royalty.
Okay.
And then these are names that get put in.
And often everybody has it as a legal middle name.
But then like even like back, again, in my former life, I was a school teacher.
I was Mr. Singh.
I didn't use my legal last name.
How do you know in your former life you were a school teacher?
He was like 10 years ago.
Before I was the artist.
Oh, I thought you were.
I thought you meant
I thought you been
Indian way
That's a problem
When you had a term
Everybody thinks everything
So deep
You know what I'm saying
Like that's a specific thing
You're born on
Some people are a caterpillar
You were a school teacher
Bro, you knew exactly
Like in the 2000s
Yeah
All right
You gotta be specific
With that one, Doc
I was too woke
Yeah you was too woke
I would
I would
I wouldn't want my child's last name change
Especially if I was in the child's life
If I was in the child's life or actively trying to be in the child's life
And you weren't letting me you should not change the last name because you're actually preventing me
From being, you know, with my child
You know what I'm saying?
So don't change his name out of spite just because you grew to love somebody else
You grew to love somebody else I don't even know if my child likes that person
Question what if your last name was bin Laden or Zimmerman or Zimmerman
Weinstein
Cozby Cosby Kelly
Kelly change them all
You just have to talk with the new pop's like, yo, you got it.
You got it, bro.
You got it.
Change every single fucking one of them.
You know what I mean?
No problem.
Yes.
Why not?
What'd you say?
Taylor is the microphone right behind.
Yeah.
Wants to change the name?
No, the childs don't get to do what they want to do.
How old is it?
Their children.
This is not.
How old is he grew up in a single.
My home boy grew up just with his mom, but he always had his father's surname.
And he never met his father.
and then he changed it when he graduated high school to his mom's.
I like that.
Yeah, you can't just let kids change their name when they want to.
You got to be of age.
You can only change their genders when they're nine.
That's it.
I was watching a TV show and this little girl.
The father was absent.
She didn't like her father.
She was only like nine years old.
And she told her mom that she wants to change her last name because her mom got remarried,
blah, blah, blah, when part of her family.
Well, I'm not mad at that.
I mean, if you know at nine and you have a valid reason,
You just said what you said
The father wasn't shit?
She knew that?
Yeah.
How did she know that?
Like,
other than the mom saying your dad ain't shit?
No, she wasn't really saying that.
It's like the dad would go pick her up and he would either got arrested or was drunk or blah blah, blah.
Like, and she would be a parent to that.
All right.
Is that isolation bathroom ball?
God damn it.
You just made all that.
Hammy, I mean it.
It was on team mom.
What's the name of it?
It was on team mom.
No, I don't believe you.
I don't believe you.
Can we do some.
Asking idiots, please.
Let's do it.
Let's do some asking idiots and get the foot off out of hell.
What happened with Deonté Wilder?
Oh, you're signing up for...
Oh, I'm a king.
I am your king.
I'm a brave king.
Hold up.
You know, we got another postman.
You know, we can talk about Deonté real quick.
I just think...
Do a little bill and then...
I mean, we do Deonté first, then do the bill and go that...
I just, I don't think Deonté Wadder should do the rematch so soon.
Hell no.
I don't think so.
Like, I don't think he's ready.
Play it, play it.
Your king is here.
Your king is here.
And we ain't going nowhere for the war has just begun.
No, it's all right.
I will rise again.
I am strong.
I am a king that can't take my pride.
I am a warrior.
I'm a king that would never give up.
I'm a king that will fight to the death.
We will rise again.
We will regain the title.
I will be back.
I love Deonté Wilde.
I think Deonti Wada should take Floyd Mayweather up on his offer.
Floyd Mayweather said he wants to train him for the next fight.
I don't know how soon the rematch has to be.
I was assuming that he could exercise the rematch clause,
but it didn't have to be immediately.
I would have exercised the rematch clause,
but I definitely would have went to fight at least one other tune-up fight
under the guys of Floyd Mayweather,
let Floyd Mayweather train me for a while.
And just refine my skills a little bit
before I get back in that ring with Tyneweywey.
Tyson Fury, man.
Like, I don't know why he's rushing to do that.
I think it's a lot of pride.
I think it's a lot of ego.
I do think Deonti Wada can get his belt back one day,
but not like this, King.
Yeah.
Not like this, bro.
Yeah.
You think he's concerned that Fury might lose it to somebody else?
Fury ain't losing.
No, fear.
There's nobody in the heavyweight division
that can beat Tyson Fury.
Bro.
That's not happening.
I'm thinking about the past,
and I'm going, who in the past could beat him?
I literally don't know.
No.
Maybe Lennox Lewis just because of the side?
but like...
Linux would have been good.
Because of the size, right?
Those are the best...
Like, those guys, and I always said it,
even when they used to fight Tyson,
like the reason they could beat up on Tyson
is because they were tall.
They had that long reach,
and they could box.
You know, a great fight to watch.
Everybody go Google,
go on YouTube and watch Evander,
Holyfield, Linux Lewis, part two.
Yeah, this is when Lennox beat them
pretty easy.
No.
They were banging on each other.
I thought one was the one
where it was a horrible decision
and then...
One was a horrible...
No.
Right?
One was a horrible decision.
I don't remember.
I don't remember exactly what happened in the first fight,
but I know the second fight,
they was banging on each other.
Okay.
And I think Lennox won that fight.
Yeah,
by a decision.
I think Lennox lost the first one,
or it was like a split decision,
but it was a bad decision.
I think two, Lennox won.
Because everybody thought the second fight
was going to be horrible.
Right.
But they was banging on each other.
Like,
that is how heavy weights is supposed
to motherfucking go at it.
So I just,
I mean, listen,
that's who Tyson reminds me of.
He reminds me of that era of heavyweight.
He's big.
He can box.
He's agile.
Yeah.
I just think Deonti needs to just refine his skills a little bit before he gets back in that
ring with goddamn Tyson Shiry.
Yeah.
That's it.
It's a bad move.
In my opinion.
If I'm him, in my opinion, I think Tyson fights Santhea, Joshua.
He brings the belts together and then he should just retire.
He's nothing else to prove.
And then after that, you vacate the belts.
And then Walder can fight someone else and then you get your belt back.
But I don't think you need to put yourself through that again, buddy.
No, man.
No, because it's going to be worse.
Because now he knows how to beat you.
Yeah.
I don't want to see you go through that on social media right now.
Just refine your skills, King.
Go fight Ruiz.
Charles Martin.
Charles Martin would be a good fight.
I don't know, Charles Martin fought on the undercard
of the Deonté Tyson Fury fight.
Just fight a couple tune-ups.
You're not getting a Joshua fight.
Joshua's not fighting none of them.
Joshua's staying away from all of those guys.
Yeah, he's scared.
He's not doing it.
So fight a couple tune-up fights.
Let Mayweather train you.
See Tyson Fury like late next year.
bro.
Yeah.
Like, don't even,
why you want to ruin your summer?
Don't,
don't fuck your summer.
No,
you don't fuck your summer.
Come on, man.
Hey,
yeah,
there was that Tyson thing
where we'd just pay
a little bill real quick.
Let's pay a bill.
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Idiots, back to the show.
Let's do some ask an idiot.
We could touch on the Mike Tyson real quick, though.
Okay, go, go, go, go, go.
I understand what Mike's coming from.
We can play it, go ahead.
I know the art of fight.
I know the art of war.
That's all I've studied.
That's why I'm so feared.
That's why they feared me when I was in the ring.
Because that's all my, I was annihilated.
That's all I was born for.
And now those days are gone.
It's empty.
I'm nothing.
I'm working on being the art of humbleness.
Can you believe me?
That's the reason why I'm crying because I'm not that person no more.
And I miss him.
Because sometimes I feel like a bitch because I don't want that person to come out
because if he comes out, hell is coming with him.
And it's not funny at all.
It must sound cool.
Like, I'm a tough guy.
It's just, I hate that guy.
I'm scared of him.
Let me be clear.
When I say I understand, Mike, I'm pussy.
I don't mean I.
understand him as far as like, you know, doing violence on people.
What I understand is that's what Mike really enjoyed.
Mike really enjoyed fucking people up.
Yeah.
So being that he's not able to put hands on people and fuck people up anymore, it bothers
him.
It hurts him.
He feels like he's missing something.
This is a true story.
I think I've told you all this before.
I used to have a little piece of skin on my penis.
Skin bridge.
Right?
And they used to go from like the shaft to the head.
Yep.
And it's gone.
But for whatever reason.
when I got older, I started to miss it
because I used to play with it when I was younger, right?
But as I got older, I started to miss it, right?
But it's gone.
There's nothing I can do about it.
It's the same thing with Mike Tyson.
Those days are gone.
It's over.
There's nothing he can do about it.
Now, the only thing outlet I can give Mike Tyson is this.
Maybe there's like a...
How is that the same thing?
It's tight because you both like...
It's a brain idiot.
It doesn't matter.
It's just like the fact that he...
He needs a senior citizen
fight. Like, I'm serious. He has to be like a senior citizen
fight club, like a UFC for older people. I'm serious.
A big three. Yes. He just wants to put his hands.
That's it. He wants to put his hands on somebody. I promise you, that's all
Mike needs. Not no fake wrestling shit. Mike really needs
to fight. Let Mike fight. Let him go get that rage out of him.
That's what he needs. It's just, that's it.
Yes. It is interesting when you see him, man, because
Like one of the reasons I think we've been so drawn to Mike
is because he's like so fucking authentic and vulnerable.
Like that is the most vulnerable that you'll see a human being in that moment.
He's been like that, though.
He's been like that.
He's a cancel.
And maybe that's it.
But it's just amazing to witness.
And that's why something like that goes viral.
Like he has a podcast every single week.
You don't see a clip go viral every single week.
Every week?
Yeah, yeah.
Mike shit ripping.
Really?
I don't know what the numbers are.
But I see Mike shit all the time for some reason.
Okay, fair enough.
Hot box podcast.
Hot box,
yeah.
Hot box podcast.
Well, he's, it's just, like,
it's just amazing to, like, kind of witness.
And it's just,
it's a testament to maybe what we were saying earlier,
like, authenticity cuts through.
Yeah, man.
It's a rare thing.
And if you can be authentic and, like,
vulnerable with your emotions.
And-
shouldn't he acknowledge that that mic also got into a shit ton of trouble?
Yeah, but that mic also made him a millionaire,
a hundred millionaire.
You know what I get what he's saying.
You got to take the good with the bad.
Like, but you also have to grow.
you also have to evolve.
I don't, I mean, I don't necessarily like my old self, you know what I mean?
And I know that's weird to say because there's parts of you that helped you get to where you are,
but then it's like those parts don't serve you anymore, you know what I'm saying?
So you let that shit go and you grow and you evolve into something else.
But I think in Mike's case, what he loved to do was box, but what he also loved to do was hurt people.
It's some people out there that just love violence.
They like the sound, they like hearing a bone break.
You know what I'm saying?
like motherfucking killing somebody
and putting the body somewhere
and then coming back and watching the body decay.
I've heard people who are in jail right now.
Yeah.
Doing life sentence, say shit like that to me.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's just like certain people
that just love that type of violent energy
and he just needs the outlet to get that shit out,
you should just like join a wild-ass rapper's entourage.
Someone that always brings a lot of trouble to them.
I think Mike's has to be controlled.
That's to be controlled.
It's too crazy.
Yeah.
A rapper entourage wouldn't be good for him.
You know what I'm saying?
He needs to be in a controlled environment.
I'm telling you fight club, bro.
You need to start an OG fight club,
fight club for people 50 and up.
Yeah.
And let Mike just go at it with people.
He'll kill everybody.
That's what he wants.
You sign a waiver.
The waiver simply says,
if you die, you die.
And you sign it.
And fucking you get in there with Mike.
If he fucking kills you, that's it.
You consent to the day.
death. God bless Mike Tyson. I hope you find somebody to fuck
up. Wax is like that. He needs it, you think? I know. Wax says it all the time. Wax,
he calls it a freebie. He's like, I need a freebie.
Because he, like, he wants somebody to do something fucked up. So that he can get his
shit off. Interesting. Some people are like that. Some people like
violence. They like cracking skulls. I guarantee you, Mike is going to
Mad Anger Management. Just like Wax had, you know what I'm saying? He's been done to
beyond Scared Scray programs. All the
that shit. Some people just
like violence. Yeah, it's like a vampire. He's a vampire. He needs the blood.
That's it. That's it. That's it. I wonder if it's similar to like competitive instinct.
You know how like some athletes, they just need to compete. Michael Jordan needs to compete.
It could be fucking ping-fonged. But I think they find something new though.
They find a new thing to funnel it into, but Mike hasn't found. That's what I said.
Can't be golf. His two loves them. Exactly. Because because violence is so extreme.
Yes. Nothing else comes closer, taps into it. Sports, you can take
that competitive instinct and you can put it into something
that's safer. Beer pong, it doesn't matter what
the fuck it is. I just want to compete and beat you.
But when someone literally wants to beat you,
how do you recreate that?
Mike likes violence in boxing.
Those are his two loves, and he's not
able to do either right now.
I mean, there are like late 40s still fighting.
Yeah? But I don't think Mike would have a chance against
those guys. No, he ran into the court.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. He's too short.
He's too short. He's not a kick.
Let's do ask an idiot.
All right. Ask an idiot.
Good question. We didn't plan this.
All right. Ready?
Okay, you got to go.
That's what I was looking at.
We got, we got humble here.
Okay, go.
Tori Watkins, Humble, wants to know why is it called Indian Giver when the Indian people didn't give anything away and take it back?
Are you all asking me because you think Native Americans and...
Nobody says that, humble.
We just asked the question, you're the smartest person here.
So we asked the smartest person here about this.
Nobody said it.
Nobody said anything about that humble.
I learned that term Indian giver on Seinfeld.
I never heard of it before.
What was Seinfeld's take?
I never watched.
Somebody made that reference about giving a gift back
and using that term Indian giver.
And that's the first time I ever heard it.
Pull that goddamn episode up.
I need him to get some outrage, God damn it.
I don't know why nobody gave Seinfeld no outrage for that.
But it's not you guys.
It's Native Americans, the term.
Well, even the fact that they call Native Americans,
Indians is because Columbus thought he found
India. Yeah. And that was
just stuck and everybody's okay.
Holy shit. So Columbus was a brilliant idiot.
He was. But wouldn't you do that too
if somebody financed your whole trip and then you got
somewhere you knew it wasn't India? Wouldn't you be like
nah, it's India? Word up.
I found India.
You don't know where you're talking about
you promised us to India. No, it's not the spicy part.
India's a big country. That's why I'm like, you know,
is a big country. It's got diverse, you know,
group of people. Not everybody's in the spice, bro.
Tori, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know why
they call things Indian givers,
I think that you should reach out
to a Native American podcast
and ask them,
because I have no idea.
Is there a native?
Natives gave back
those smallpox blankets.
It's a real talk.
We don't want these.
Word up.
We don't want these.
Take them back, please.
So that's what fucked up.
Okay.
Another one?
Let's do it.
If y'all were gay,
who would be the man
and who would be the wife?
That's rounds down range 87.
Rounds down range 87.
If we were gay,
who would be the man
and who would be the wife.
First of all, that's disrespectful.
Because both of us can be the man's.
Well, there would be a wife.
There would be a wife.
We'd be husband and husbands.
That's so disrespectful.
Won't you bro the fuck up rounds down range, 87?
Do you ever hear man Pete refer to his boo as a wife?
No, motherfucker.
He says, my goddamn husband.
My hubby.
What the fuck is wrong with you, rounds down,
Ray?
That's so disrespectful.
Let's say what?
What did you say?
Taylor?
As in like with the lesbian couples, it's like lipstick.
Why are you about lesbians everything today?
First of all, first of all, first of all,
First of all, my little lesbian.
All right?
My little lesbian, my new favorite lesbian.
Okay, first of all, first of all, there would be no lipstick man because men don't wear lipstick.
Well, us two men don't wear lipstick.
Okay, okay?
Maybe a clause.
I just think this is a disrespectful question because I think that you're thinking that two men in a relationship.
That's what they are.
Well, that's different.
That's a different question, Taylor.
That's our business.
Okay?
Mind your business, bro.
And a wise man once said, the top feels.
so much better than the bottom.
Who said that?
Who said that?
Jason.
Jason Lee did not say that.
That was 50 cent.
That was 50 cent.
Oh, he did?
Yes.
But he's talking about being
on top of the rap guy.
Oh, shit.
Wait, minute.
The rap game?
Like in window shopper.
But like the rapper game?
Is that who?
No.
Oh, my God.
I don't know if you should have that.
I don't want to be fun of that time.
I don't know if I can explain.
that one.
Hey, bro.
He said it.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, ready?
Hey, Game, he's a comedian.
He's a comedian.
Game knows.
Now we can keep it.
Game knows.
Okay.
Okay.
At what point in both of your careers
will you sit back and say, I have done what I set
out to do, I can retire now?
Ooh.
I don't know.
I don't know because goal
Choles change, right?
Like, you know, we had Suzy Ormond on Breakfast Club,
and Susan Yorman was like, you're never really retired
because, you know, you retire,
but then you still want something to do.
It goes back to what you're talking about with Mike Tyson.
Mike Tyson's doing the podcast because he's trying to fill a void.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's just like when you're a creative person,
you're always going to be trying to fill a void.
So you may retire from one thing,
but then you may want to go do something else.
So I don't know if you ever truly retire.
I don't know if there's ever a point where you get to that point
when you just sit back and like, fuck it. I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't see it.
I agree.
I completely agree with that.
Now, mine just die.
You say what?
You just die.
Yeah.
It's jam done.
Like George Carlin, like before him.
Yeah.
Like three days later he died.
No, I don't want to do that.
No?
No, because I enjoy doing nothing.
So at maybe a point in your career, you'll just go, you know what?
I'm going to figure out this nothing stuff.
And I'm going to attack that in the same way that I attacked my.
Yeah, but it's good not to have a schedule.
Say what?
I said it's good not to have a schedule.
schedule, right?
Right.
Like, you know, you can retire and do nothing,
but you can do what you want when you want to.
Right.
Meaning, I don't have to be at the radio stage of 6th.m. to 10 a.m.
I don't have to do the podcast on Wednesdays.
I don't have to write a book or.
I don't have to produce this TV show.
I do what I want to when I want to do it.
My dad was a cab driver.
He's retired.
He has three jobs now.
Three volunteer jobs.
Wow.
Just because he wants to work.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And that structure and that getting up.
And then like, when I ask him,
do something, I'm busy.
Like, what are you busy doing?
Like, you've retired.
No, I'm busy.
I wonder how that will feel,
because in my mind,
I can't wait to retire from the structure.
That's what it is.
It's the structure.
It's not the work.
I can't wait to retire from the actual structure
of having,
having to be somewhere.
Yeah.
I look forward to that,
like,
part of my life where I can figure out nothing,
like,
and appreciate nothing.
Because right now I love doing,
and that fills me and, like,
satisfies me.
But, like,
eventually I'm going to get to a part of my life where I just can't do as much as I could.
And I look forward to that part where it might be way later.
I might be 80 years old.
But I look forward to it.
It's like, hey, I'm going to attack doing nothing the same way I attacked my career.
But I can see you just showing up on stage and just making fun of people for three hours.
Oh, I don't ever want to stop.
I don't want everyone to stop to stand up.
Like, I love doing shit.
Yeah.
I get it.
I mean, because I used to have a structured job and then I stopped in my previous life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I stopped having a structure job because I didn't like that idea of having to be somewhere.
Yeah.
But now I do miss structure because you get a lot more done under structure.
100%.
And it's like...
What's weird is like the more success I've gotten, the more structure I've created for myself.
Like I have office hours.
I go to the new studio four days a week.
You know what I mean?
That's yours though.
But it's different when you clocking it on your own time.
True.
But at the same time, like you can make your time.
You could decide when you do shit, when you don't do shit.
You know, you get to a certain like luxury.
even like there's certain days of the week I perform in the city.
You know, there's certain days a week where I take off and I spend with my girl.
But like, that's a luxury that you have when you have success.
Early on, you're like, okay, I can get on stage any day.
I'll do it.
But it is interesting that like I've gravitated towards structure with the luxury to have
none of it if I want.
And also paying people to tell you what to do, like a teacher, like a trainer.
Yes, whatever.
100%.
Absolutely.
Paying experts.
Be in my life so that you could do the things that I.
I don't know how to do so I can either learn.
And I'll work hard because I don't want to let you down.
100%.
Love it.
Yes.
This is a good question from Omar Yom.
I'm asking idiot.
If you could go back in time and live with simple existence with your ancestors in Africa, would you do it, Shala?
If no, why not?
I would not do it because if I have to go back in time, then that means I will remember this era.
Ooh, that'd be tough.
Exactly, man.
Like, what the fuck am I going to talk about?
You know how crazy I would look in that village?
You know what I'm saying?
Trying to tell them about the world that I come from.
Exactly.
Don't get on the boat.
Exactly.
No, I'm going to be honest with you now.
If I'm over there and I start, because I have a theory about this,
I have a theory that they didn't give up their best and their brightest, okay?
I had a theory that they made a deal with the Europeans and they said,
all these motherfuckers that we don't really need.
And I think they thought that they was going to come over here to America and,
Fuck shit up.
Oh, that was definitely, that's definitely forgotten in the history.
Like, the role of it.
There were some people out there.
Four white dudes don't just show up on Africa and go, we'll take everybody.
Like, there was some assistance on the African side.
It has been written out of the books completely.
Like, nobody knows who those slave dealers are.
I think they gave up some of their worst, bro.
I think how we talk about World Star Island and the people we would ship the World Star Island.
That's what you think it was?
I think so, man.
I think so, I think so.
I think so.
I think so
I think so
Now the reason
I probably wouldn't send them away
It's because I would say to them
Look what's going to happen is
They're going to go over to America
They're going to become slaves
It's going to be a population of us
Over there
That's going to be fighting this for a long time
It's going to be really, really bad
Matter of fact when I left
It was still bad
Yeah
So let's just kill them
All right
Let's just get what I'm saying
Let's just
No I wouldn't kill them
Let's just find them jobs
Guys
That's all
In this new world, though, Charlemagne,
are you not at least a little bit concerned about what Sean King would do?
How can we treat black people like this?
We're like, what black people, bro?
We don't got any black people.
What are you talking about, Sean?
Brazy Biggsie Big says, if you started a new podcast
and you could pick one rapper and one athlete to be your co-host,
who would you pick?
I don't know who the athlete would be.
The rapper would definitely be glasses from me.
Oh, Glass is so funny, dude.
Yes.
His boxing takes, are you, do you follow him on Twitter?
Yes, that's my guy, man.
Yeah, he's great.
He's a great.
Glass Malone.
I don't know who the athlete would be,
but rapper would definitely Glasses Malone?
I ask you, Hummel, would you go back in time
to live a simple existence with your ancestors
if you could do it?
No, I like the modern conveniences.
Yeah, yeah, right?
I mean, even, yeah, no.
If I could go there with a blank mind,
like, if you erased, if you hit me with the men in black shit
and erased everything from this era and sent me back,
yeah, we'd all adjust.
a lot of sitting around doing nothing out there.
Yes.
They do like two things in the whole day and they're just sitting around.
You wouldn't even know you're not doing nothing because you never did nothing.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's boring.
I mean, if you like map out the stars, you got to be bored.
Like, the thing about bored you are.
We're like, oh, that kind of looks like a Capricorn.
That's how you figure out life though.
Remember you said a little while ago you said, you said, yo, I'm just, I want to try to figure out nothing.
Yeah.
No, no, I get it.
But like, that's on my terms.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
And like, just imagine how bored they must have been back in the day, dude.
I don't know.
Just looking at fire and that was entertaining.
Fire?
It's entertaining for us when we're like scrolling all day, but I think fire gets boring after a while.
You're not like, damn, fire's popping today.
Yeah.
This shit is hot.
This is the last one.
Fire is hot today, bro.
This is the last asking idiot underscore Tio Frio.
This is weird.
All right.
Can I say this?
Where is it?
Where is it?
Tio Frio is right
It's right over who handles buckets better
KFC or Jimmy Butler
It's right over that one
Tio Frio
He says why, I read it
It says why did Uncle Shala take a liking
The young Shotsie?
Been a fan of y'all since the early days of
Guy Codin I've been wondering
Nigger be elaborate too if you answer
None of that, we had a connection
Mag shit
and he put keep it tight
well Tio Frio
we had a connection
I don't know what to tell you
Tio
I don't know what to tell you
we had a connection something Tio
one thing you have to realize about life
some shit is just mag shit bro
All right
It just is
All right
I don't know what to fucking tell you
All right
He was funny on Guy Code
We took a Uber or something together
to a hotel
when we landed in
LA, we flew out together
we got in the car together.
We got flued out.
We got in the car together.
We sat next to each other
in the back seat, stayed at the same hotel.
And the rest is history.
Oh, yeah.
The rest is mag shit, bro.
We put on that 50 cent, top bottom.
Hey!
The top feels so much better than the bottom.
Let me try.
Let me try.
Yeah, we knew that ratio.
Listen, we knew.
We knew racial tension was going to get at an all-time high.
So, you know, what better to bring races together than two manly mags.
All right.
Okay.
We need to heal the ecosystem, bro.
These things happen, bro.
A black mag and a white mag heal the ecosystem together.
That's what we do.
That's right, baby.
All right?
We had a connection.
Oh, God, Taylor.
No, no, no.
This is what I'm talking about.
No, no, pro.
I think this will end it great.
I thought we just ended on a great thing.
That was a good high note.
You magapophobic, bro.
Yeah, you really are.
No, this helps.
Ready?
All right.
Okay.
King, I just busted right inside him and he can't extend on me anymore and he seems
a little overwhelmed.
My, my girth and tonnet.
That's right.
Tio Frio.
That's right.
We had a connection and I busted right inside of him.
What?
Play it one more time.
This shit.
King, I just busted right inside him and he can't extend on me anymore and he seems a little
overwhelmed.
My, my girth.
tonnage.
One time for Dick Bayliss.
That's Dick Bayless, bro.
That's Dick Bayless, bro.
Big Dick Bayless is not playing.
You tell him,
motherfucker, he was overwhelmed
by my girff and tonnage?
God damn.
Jesus Christ.
What's Shanna have to say about that?
Who is Shana?
Shannon.
Oh.
You might know him as Shannon.
I don't know, man.
Shannon and Skip trying to steal our goddamn mag shine.
Oh, that's true.
That's off.
All right, guys.
As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart.
Well, first of all, thank you, Humble for coming.
Yeah.
Thank you for having your Twitters and stuff.
God had Humble the poet.
So I'd Humble the poet.
And go buy Humble's books, unlearn.
And what was the other one?
Things no one else can teach you.
Things no one else can teach you.
Go get both of those books.
One's yellow, one's blue.
All right.
Gang. His next one will be green.
Okay.
But salute to my guy, Humble, the poet.
And as always, if you listen to this podcast,
you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent,
you think we're brilliant.
You're absolutely right.
But if you listen to this podcast
and think we're just a couple of idiots
who don't know shit, you're right too.
It's a brilliant of this podcast.
Thank you for listening.
