The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 1: Growing Kelp In My Keurig

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

This week on The Broski Report: Alabama Barker, Brittany's adventure cleaning her Keurig, and Peso Pluma! https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireporthttps://instagram.com/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broskihttps://www.instagram.com/brittany_broskiBrought To You By: https://www.zocdoc.com/broskihttps://www.hellofresh.com/broski16https://pdsdebt.com/report

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.

This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brosky. Hello and welcome everyone to the first episode of The Brookesky Report with Britney Brosky. Thank you. Seriously, guys, stop, stop. This is a long-awaited reveal, grand reveal, if you will. Let me give you a quick tour of the set, a little vibe check, a little vibration. Okay, so here was the idea, you bitches before you are like, you're like a school teacher. First of all, shut the fuck up, okay? Because guess who's in charge?

Me. Okay, guess who's in charge? Me. I'm the Brosky. I am the Brosky of Brosky Report. It's Brodky Report with Brittany Broskey. It's not with you. Okay, guys. Hey, loving you though.

Before, I'm not a school teacher. Okay. So the idea for the set was like, what if Walter Cronkite was gay? Now, some of you may be asking, who's Walter Cronkite? Hey, Google it, you know? Figure that out. Walter Cronkite was a newscaster in the 50s and 60s, and he did the CBS Evening News. I think.

I don't know. Hey, I don't know. But his set was kind of iconic, and it was black and white, and it was like, on the TV. Don't know why I had to kind of like disclaim that. So that was the idea. It's a news set, right? But what if the news was always happy and fun

and like really LGBTQ friendly? Over here we have our pride flag with the Texas flag. No, it's not Puerto Rico. No, it's not Cuba. The photographer who did the photographs for the set The like promo photographs.

His name's Julian. Love you, Julian. I am obsessed with Julian. He was taking pictures and he was like, could you have picked two more like ethically opposite flags? And I said, probably not. So missing you, Julian. Okay, so moving slowly across the set, all you audio listeners,

come on over to YouTube. Guys, come on over to YouTube. Come on, guys. Seriously, come hang out on YouTube. You're joining, you're missing the party. No, come to the pool party on my set. So here is my, me turning away from the microphone on the podcast. Hey, can I, guys, you got to give me some grace here. Okay. I'm just a little girl and a big world. I'm just a little tiny, skinny woman and like a big scary world. How can I, if I bump the table one more time, what are you guys going to do?

What are you guys going to do? Okay. I'm picking up the microphone. Here we have our glitter globe. Okay, now what's a glitter globe? It's that. Look at it. Then we have these world clocks over here. I actually can't remember what I said them to.

One of them is Houston. One is London. And this one, hey, crazy girl, Salvador Dali. We've got a little surrealist clock for all the art history girls in the chat. Here we have my green screen. Okay? So the thought here, I'm going to look into camera too. camera too. How are you guys? The thought here was like an S&L weekend update. Okay. So whenever I need to

inevitably turn around and point to a picture of, I don't know, Trigger Warning, Maddie Healy, Harry Stiles, right? Rosalia. It's going to be here. So you guys can direct your attention there. And audio listeners, again, come on over to YouTube, even though this is a podcast. I'm here on YouTube, guys. I'm hanging out. Now, moving over here to the stage left, we have the Mickey Mouse phone. It's ringing. Hello? Wait, are you serious? Well, who's on it? No, I'm recording a podcast. No, who's on it? Was Gary not working? I thought, hey, you said Gary was working today. Sorry, okay, sorry, I'm recording a podcast. We have to go. If they really, wait, are you being serious? Okay, we'll talk later. Okay, love you.

Sorry, they hit the Pentagon. And that is on my Mickey Mouse, sorry, not funny. On my Mickey Mouse phone. Then we have my little globe, okay? My gay little globe. Look, it's like rainbow. Okay. And it lights up with the constellations.

So this one is called Boots. B-O-O-T-E-S. It's literally called Boots. Okay. So that's the tour of the set. Oh, also I'm rocking with my little mug here. And of course, I have a little, guys, it was so much fun customizing this set. I don't give a fuck.

My passion and my calling is interior design. So whatever you bitches have to say, don't say it to me because this set is perfect and beautiful. House Targaryen. What is this called? Coaster, a House Targaryen coaster. Oh, yeah, that's good. Okay, so of course I have my laptop here.

Oh, and my old-timey mic, guys, the set tour is not over. My old-timey mic. It's like Elvis. I feel like Elvis. Do I look like Elvis? Stop. Okay. So what's the vibration of this podcast?

I really, really am inspired, obviously, by Mrs. Welcome to the stage. Mrs. Emma Chamberlain, aka Mrs. role model. Actually, he would be Mr. Chamberlain. I love Emma Chamberlain, bitch. I fucking love. of her. And she is so insightful with like really interesting topics. I love how she names her podcast

episodes. I love how she goes into detail, but it's so silly and crazy. I love her. So I'm very inspired by that sort of stream of consciousness, which is what I've always, I mean, that is my side TikTok. That's my YouTube. It's just like, sure, you can give me a topic, but will I stay on it? Probably not. Okay? Probably not. I'm a woman of the people. I'm a woman of the mind. Okay. Some may say I am left and right-brained. Okay. I've heard it before. Okay. I want to manage some expectations. Sometimes I'm going to get super serious, guys. Okay. Look at this face. Look at this face. And if you're an audio listener, listen to my face. Sorry. Sorry. That's gross. Sorry. Okay. Everyone, one, two, three eyes on me. If you can hear me clap twice. Thank you.

I'm going to sometimes explore some kind of deeper topics, things I've been thinking about that week, things that have been on my mind. Maybe if I'm feeling crazy, some things I've talked about in therapy. Recently, it's been a lot of body issues and men and all the fun stuff. So we'll get into that sometimes. only when I'm feeling like it. And if I cry, shut up. If I cry, hey, did you see it? No. If I cry, no, I didn't.

Anyway, I also want to go through my top three songs of the week. I think that'd be so fun. And because we're copyrighted, obviously, I'm going to have to have you guys look up the songs because I cannot play them. Okay? YouTube, you won this round. YouTube, you old bastard.

And sometimes episodes will be themed. I have this idea in my brain of the next like six episodes being a topic of something that I love. So that entire episode will be dedicated to La Rosalia, Harry, Pedrito Pascal, things like that. So let me know if you guys would be interested in that. I actually don't care. I'm going to do it anyway. Guys, let me know, but I will not be listening to what you have to say. But definitely leave me a comment because sometimes your comments make me giggle. Actually, I'd say most of the time, your comments make me giggle. The comments some of you bitches leave on my spam account,

I'm sweating, by the way. A bead of sweat just rolled down my back. The comments you'll leave on my spam account make me cry laugh sometimes. Oh my God, we could go through them sometimes. I have so many ideas swirling around in my noggin. It's like a little whirlwind. It's like a tornado.

There's a bunch of cows and corn and houses and tractors all blowing around in my brain. But I'm a 26-year-old female woman. Okay. Guys, also, feeling a little awkward, right? I'm hosting my own newscasts. Feeling awkward but supported. Because through Christ, all things are possible.

Three cries, all things are possible. All things are possible. Through cries, how things are possible. Taylor loves when I do that voice. Okay, also I'm sweating under my boobs. It is so fucking miserable sometimes to be a woman. Okay, no one talking. about underboob sweat. Everyone's like, I wish I had big boobs. No, you don't, babe. I wear a 40

D. K? 40 double D. You have any idea what my back looks like? This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture-raised eggs, to be exact. my favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm. And you're you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food.

Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I had a mole removed from my back.

All right, moving on. I have a question really quick before I get into what I wanted to talk about because I've been feeling really awkward about this lately. I'm going to turn over here. Did anyone else during the pandemic have an Alabama Barker phase? Now, some of you may be asking, who the fuck is Alabama Barker? That is going to be Travis Barker's teenage daughter.

This is her up on the screen. Now, Alabama Barker. Was she 15 years old when I found her on TikTok and binged her account. Yeah, she was. Okay? I think she's like 17 now, maybe 18. I was obsessed.

Every night before I went to bed, I would watch Addison Ray's videos, and I would watch Alabama Barkers. Because in my brain, when I'm feeling a little illusional, I think I look like Alabama Barker. And I don't want a single comment to tell me I don't. Because you're lying.

That's my twin. Look at my twin. I was obsessed with her. I get obsessed with like, really pretty blondes. Obviously, she's not a natural blonde, but it doesn't matter. If you're a blonde, you're a blonde.

It doesn't matter what is grown out of your head. If your hair is blonde, you are a blonde. And I will die on that hill. This is my natural hair color. What's grown out of my neck. Anyway, I had an Alabama Barker phase where I would literally just sit on TikTok and just scroll.

And it would usually be her mouthing lyrics to really troubling songs. or like half-assedly doing dances. And sometimes, oh my God, she would do vlogs where she'd be like, hey y'all, I'm going to Italy with my family. And I was like, period, Alabama Barker. I don't give a fuck.

I'm obsessed with you. That she will never understand, not for a long time, how much fucking money she has. How much fucking money she has at her disposal. That is crazy. Anyway, I need to do. get that off my chest. Okay. Now, what's in the coffee cup? Is it liquor? No. Okay. That's going to be cafe, cafe bustelo. Okay. Estillo espresso style cafe bustel. Now, this shit is fucking jet fuel.

I have about two to three of these a day. I could run a mile. Do I? No. Have I ever barely. Okay? You guys remember when in like middle school we'd have to run the mile? The first mile I ever ran was 15 minutes. 15 minutes. And the guys were always like, I got it in six. I had 6.15. Oh, you'd be, oh, whatever.

I was like six minutes. And I ran too. That's one thing they don't talk about when you're a plus size girl running a 15 minute mile. Okay? I want to go on Etsy and find a t-shirt that says, I survived my 15-minute mile. Because I was huffing and puffing like a fucking dragon after that mile, too. I've never been athletic.

Much to my father's chagrin. Shagrin. We should have a Broski Nation vocabulary segment. I'm so smart. Shagrin. Distress or embarrassment at having failed or have been humiliated. feel distressed or humiliated, period. It's a verb too.

You can chagrin someone. He was chagrined. Anyway, this shit is jet fuel. Cafe Bustolo. But it's so good. It's got that, um, full-bodied,

oaky afterbirth flavor. So fucking delicious. Get into Cafe Bustolo. But don't sell it out. Because if I go to fucking Walmart and you bitches have sold out Cafe Bustolo, I'm going to be pissed.

And I'm going to tweet your addresses. I'm going to go into each and every follower, and I'm going to go into each and every follower, and I'm going to find your IP address and I'm going to come get you. Okay? I'm going to get you. Have y'all seen that?

I got my photos on my MacBook. That makes me think of this. Hey, boy. Am I talking too fast for you or something? You hear me? I reckon you get up out of here, huh, boy? You boy, they're supposed to be around here, are you? Yeah.

Pack it. Beat it. Scrail. If Drusky has one fan, it's me. If Drusky has zero fans, I'm dead. I love Drusky, dude. Okay, anyway, I'm sipping this jet fuel. So give me a damn minute.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance. to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farm's pasture-raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long.

They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs.

No shortcuts. Oh, also, my curig does this fun thing where when I, I'm tucking my sweatshirt under my boobs and I don't want to hear a damn thing about it. If you comment on that, you're anti-woman. Actually, yes, the camera angles, you can't even see it. I love filming a nice dot. What was I talking about? Oh, so my curing does this fun thing where sometimes it's fuzzy.

Sometimes the last time I cleaned my curing, I opened that top compartment, and I poured my water in, and I saw it looked. kind of similar to what I imagine a coral reef looks like when there's a current. There were barnacles. There were growths. And there was some kelp, some curig kelp, curig brand kelp growing in the top of my fucking curing. And so I was like, what the fuck?

And I got a paper towel and I tried to wipe out the top. And I said, and I said, and then I was, You know I was on Wiki How, How to Clean a Google. What does that mean? How to clean a curig. And it says to run vinegar through your curing.

Vinegar cleans everything. Venerg cleans it all. First of all, no, it fucking doesn't. You guys are liars. Or maybe I'm an idiot. And maybe both are true. Okay? I have tried time and time again to clean a dishwasher with vinegar, to clean my curig,

to clean the sink, to clean clothes. It just makes me smell like pickles. It does not clean it. Okay? You know what clean's clothes? Oxyclean. What was his name? Bill.

Oxyclean Bill. Billy Mays. He fucking died. He died. Billy Mays died in 2009. Cocaine? A factor in Billy May's death? Holy shit, guys.

Autopsy says heart disease killed TV pitch man. Cocaine not contributing factor. Wait. Holy shit. This is, uh, Stanley was recently. at my house. We were hanging out and I, uh, I said something. Oh, we were talking about Avichy. Remember Avichy? Like, kind of like Calvin Harris, but not. I love Avichy dude. RIPi Avichy. And I was like, you know, he died and it had something to do with he discovered

like a child pornography ring or something like that. And Stanley was like, really? And I was like, yeah, Google it. Because I had my screen cast it up on the TV and he Googled it and it said, this is not funny. But it said, a vici, like, you know, pedophile sex trafficking death ring. He was trying to expose it, whatever. And it was the article that I had read. And I was like, damn, yeah, click on that. And then at the bottom, it said, fact check, false. Fact check.

This did not happen. This is not true. I said, every day is a constant fucking humiliation. I have never had a moment where I'm not suffering from some version or level of humiliation. And that's my truth. and that's the truth I live every day. I wake up, put my pants on, put my little slippers on, make me a little cafe boost aloe,

and let the humiliation begin, okay? I'm sorry, Billy Mays, R-I-P. Anyway, my curing was fuzzy, so I tried to run vinegar through it, and they say you have to do it like five, six, seven, 15 times, right? I went through a whole bottle of vinegar. The house smelled like I had pissed in my, pants, ate a jar of pickles, poured the jar of pickles on myself. And I imagine, you know,

how babies are in a, like a strapped in baby chair, like a toddler dining chair. I imagine if I was, you know, you all remember Baby Spencer? Baby Spencer. This is how I imagine myself. Okay, Baby Spencer from my Carly. Imagine me like this, but I have pissed myself. My body is also that tiny. I've pissed myself. I've poured a whole jar of pickles on myself. I've choked on it, coughed it up, vomiting it everywhere.

And now I'm slapping the table and playing in it. Like babies play with applesauce. That's what the fucking house smelled like when I ran vinegar through the curig. It was, and I mean this genuinely horrid. Terrible. Horrible. Why do people from Florida talk? like that, by the way. Horrible. Florida. Anyway. And so I did that like five to ten times and the

fuzziness went away. But now it fucking stinks. Now my curing stinks like hot vinegar. And so I ran water through it a few times and I was like that is as clean as it's going to get. And my coffee still tasted like vinegar for like five uses after that. Well, I cleaned the curing. Honestly, maybe that was a year and a half ago. I need to do it again. I went to make coffee. morning and yesterday. And sometimes, you know, when I like drink the sink water, I'll pour the sink water into my little cup and I'll pour that into the curing. Then I'll make my coffee and then I'll go to my fridge. Excuse me. Pardon. I'll go to my fridge and I'll get out my oatmeal because I like to cut my cafe boost lovel oatmeal. Okay. Call me crazy. And I poured that cold

oat milk in there and my coffee may be sizzled. Okay. So what the fuck, by the way? Can someone, maybe Hank Green, tell me why my coffee sizzled similar to the water in Flint, Michigan when I poured oat milk into it? I looked at that and I got that little sinking feeling in my stomach like, another thing I have to fucking deal with. And then I was like, I don't care. I drink sink water all the time. And hey, I'll look great. Okay? And if you don't agree, you're wrong. I drink sink water and I was raised drinking milk. I am stronger than a fucking bowl. I am stronger than a grown man who eats solely meat.

Look at this physique. You bitch just can't tell me absolutely fucking anything. Anyway, sometimes my coffee sizzles. And it's very concerning because it didn't used to do that. So maybe I need to clean my cake. Anyway. Okay. So we need to talk about

the latest obsessions, right? That's what we were here for. This was supposed to be a streamlined way to get the information of what I'm obsessing over, what Brosky Nation needs to be alerted about to its viewers and to its citizens, right? So this is that streamlined process. We have three things on the docket today

because I can't reveal all the secrets, okay? I've got to keep you guys on your toes a little bit. So the three, The first one that we'll go over today, that's going to be peso Pluma. Okay? Who is Pesopulma? I'm so glad you asked. This is Peson Pluma.

He is a Mexican singer and rapper. And he's my husband! Don't fucking tell me he looks like Dixie D'Amilio. Don't tell me he looks like Noah Schnapp. Don't tell me he looks like the kid from Stranger Things. Don't tell me he looks like Will, whatever's name is. I know! I know! You all need to relax on that a bit.

He is so cute. I don't give a fuck what you have to say. Not him. Him. Okay, don't look at that one. He's so cute. I genuinely don't care. Now, damn, I need that shirt.

It's one of those wrestling shirts. La Double P. Doble P, Vijo. I love. Face-up. Thank you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses,

monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These

aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm,

and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the eggs, egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital farms. Good eggs, no shortcuts. Plus, you can swap out proteins and sides to your liking. HellaFresh cares about quality. That's why their seasonal ingredients are picked at peak ripeness and travel from the farm to your home in less than seven

days. So you know they're fresh. I personally love HelloFresh because I think I have the Jenna Marbles gene where I just add too much and I do too much and I always end up messing up a recipe. So honestly, the pre-portioned ingredients really are a lifesaver if you struggle from the same affliction that I do. It's also great for one. You know, I cook for myself and it's nice to just not really have excess food or waste around the house because that's a problem. Go to hellofresh.com slash broskey 16 and use code Broski 16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping. Dude, 163 free meals. Again, that's hellofresh.com slash broskey 16. And use the code Broski 16 for 16 free meals.

Hellofresh, America's number one meal kit. That brings me to a larger discussion. God damn, sweat is dripping down my back. This brings me to a larger discussion of what is happening what is happening in Latin music latina? What is happening in Latin music, guys? Everyone is boycotting bad bunny. What's up with that?

I actually do know what's up with that. He said some pretty troubling things recently. The shit with Kendall Jenner I don't want to talk about. Personally, I am mourning. I am grieving a loss of one of Brozky Nation's strongest soldiers. One of our strongest fucking soldiers. We lost him to the Jenner Kardashian clan. He has joined a cult similar to How Herald and potentially, who else did him?

Who else did she date? Who'd that girl date? What's her name? She was in, um, um, and she dated, um, and she's got that kid,

uh, with that weird name. That was an impression of my grandma. But it's funny, because my Mimi knows exactly what she's talking about. I'm sure y'all's grandparents do that too. We're like, she's trying to recall the exact name,

but she knows what she's talking about. And then like, she'll reveal enough details where I'm like, oh, mom, that's Post Malone. Or Mimi. Mimi, that's Post Malone. Maybe that's whatever.

She called me one time and she said, Here's your friend. I said, what are you talking about? I got a lot of friends. He's talking about. She said, your friend.

He's got them tattoos. I said, so many people have tattooed. Mimi, who, she said, oh, Mr. Malone. Mr. Malone. My friend,

Mr. Malone. I was like, Mimi, are you talking about post Malone? Yeah. Highstream, Texas. Mimi. Hey, he's good. You want to talk to him? He's right here.

Mimi, please. Anyway, what was I talking about? That's going to be a problem. That's going to be a problem. What the fuck was I talking about? Oh, Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny is dating. Whoa!

Bad Bunny is dating Candle Gineer. I don't like it. Okay? But I did see a funny paparazzi video where she pulled up to some restaurant in her old school Cadillac or something like that. And she's driving it. She parked. She was fixing her makeup. And she's playing like dimbau or something like that.

And I was like, holy fuck, Kendall Jenner listening to Latin music is crazy. So that's fine. It's not fine, but it could be worse. also Benito said some things that's like why would you say that? And his Coachella performance, yeah, I pissed in my fucking pants.

Like, you think I'm not? You think I'm not going to just stand there and piss my fucking pants? Oh my God, and he brought out Post Malone. I can't talk about it anyway. So yes, Benito, I love you. And yeah, I almost did get,

I have the sticker right here. I almost got the Conejo Malo fucking outline. But I didn't. because I'm smart, because I got my left and right brain firing on all cylinders all the time. I am a well-oiled machine. Anyway, Bad Bunny. It's so cool to see in Latin music right now this, like, because Rigaton's been on top for so long.

I mean, Bad Bunny's been the most globally streamed artist for the last like three or four years. I'm stupid like that. Like, insane numbers and just breaking the tree. charts and it's been so cool to have that be, you know, the most popular genre of music, arguably, globally. So to have that happen and now regional Mexican music, what? Like, that's so fucking cool, bitch. Um, and I see a lot of people and hey, I'll include myself in that, bandwagoners. I have no fucking problem being a bandwagoner. Don't you want, hey, I actually have a rant. Listen, hey, one, two, three eyes on me.

If you can see me, if you can hear me clap twice. Thank you. All the people driving, taking their hands off the wheel, getting in a wreck. This is playing, is there in a wreck? And yeah, my boobs are sweating. And what was I going to say, by the way? Oh, my rant. What was I going to rant about?

Fuck, what was I going to rant about? Okay, I was talking about regional Mexican music. Oh, bandwagoners. Okay, so there's always, always, since the dawn of time, the dawn of the fucking internet, been this argument of like, oh, well, you only like that because it's popular. And so what, bitch? I like it because it's popular because it's good. Okay?

What's the problem? Like, don't you want that sort of thing to succeed? I have never understood. Actually, I do understand. But I'm older now and I see the problem with it of wanting to gatekeep your favorite, right? Like wanting to gatekeep because you knew them when they were small and no one talked about them. And there was so little content. And they probably had a direct connection with their fans.

Like they would interact a lot more. And of course, the bigger that the artist gets, that kind of goes away, right? Because they're so incredibly popular. It's not possible to be able to have that intimate connection. You're not playing to a small room with a half. House of Blues anymore. You're playing fucking AT&T Stadium. You know, it's like, and you want that to happen. You want your favorite artists to be successful. It is 2023. TikTok has revolutionized the music industry. It is no longer like plausible, I think,

to gatekeep your favorite artists because the goal always is more streams, more attention, more eyeballs, more streams, more listeners. So I don't think that it serves anyone. It just makes you look fucking annoying and like a kind, a little bit. If you're like, inhaler, I knew them when no one. Girl, who fucking cares? Okay, I like inhaler too. Okay? Anyway.

I need a bang trim. Anyway, I will fully admit, hey, hand on the Bible. I'm a bandwagoner when it comes to Paiso Pruma. But I'm a big fan of him. Like, I fucking love him. I love his stage presence. I love his attitude. I love how grateful he is.

I love how giving he is. I see so many videos of him like really giving back to his community, which is so fucking, I don't think it's for clout. I don't think it's for, you know, like, you can tell he really,

really cares. He has mean, greets with his fans, like, I love him. Is he on Coke? Probably. Is he on Coke?

Yeah. Okay. Don't they call him Perico Bluma or something like that? Is it perico? Okay. And guys, you're in this with me. Okay? For all my Spanish-Oblante listeners, I am white. Don't forget that. I know you don't. I know you never will.

But sometimes, hey, I got to pull up the old Spanish dictionary, okay? I got to pull up that Spanish dict. Yeah, it's slang for Coke. Coke, snow, blow, and a parakeet. So sometimes I'll see, I'll see videos of Bezo Bluma. His real name is Hassan, by the way, Slay. I'll see videos of him like after a show and his eyes are real wide and he's kind of like fucking Molly Jaw or whatever and all the comments will be at the parakeet emoji because Betico means Coke and parakeet in Spanish. And I'm like, damn. Like, like, like, like, because it's fun. Thanks to the sponsor of today's episode, PDS Debt. I don't know about y'all, but every time I catch up with my parents or my friends from back home, we always end up talking.

about how everything is so expensive dude. It's expensive to travel. It's expensive to eat, to live, to drive. It's just too much sometimes. I have a lot of friends who are still and probably still will be in the future paying off their college debt. How many of you wish there was a better solution to paying off that debt? PDS debt has customized 0% interest options for anyone struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections, or medical bills. With rising interest rates and the cost of living at an all-time high, now is the time to finally take initiative with your debt. Stop waiting and start saving with your own custom debt savings options from PDS debt.

PDS debt is giving our qualified listeners a free debt savings analysis just for completing the 32nd online debt assessment at PDSdebt.com slash report. You'll receive a full breakdown on how to save on interest each month and the quickest way to take care of your debt. If you're making payments every month on your debt and your balances aren't going down, this program is for you. PDS debt rolls all of your payments into one low 0% interest monthly payment. Everyone with over $10,000 or more in debt qualify and there is no minimum credit score required.

Bad and fair credit are accepted. Save thousands in interest and fees and pay off your debt in a fraction of the time. Brokegee report listeners, get a special offer! PDS debt is offering free debt analysis to my listeners just for completing the quick and easy debt assessment at www.pdddd.com slash report. That's PDSDept.com slash report. Take back your financial freedom today by visiting PDSdebt.com slash report. Okay, for all of you nonbelievers, I have a video to show you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all. states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've

got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle,

and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No sure. I played this for my... I played this for my best friend Taylor, and she looked at me in my eyes and said, okay. Like, okay, derogatory.

Like, oh, okay, okay. Like that sort of thing. Bitch. Man, seor, if we're just to be romper the scenario? He is, I, I... Guys, that's really all I wanted to say. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, don't fucking talk to me about it.

Okay? I don't want to talk about it. You think I want to talk about it? I don't want to talk about it. Other than Bezo, Bluma. I am just like best. I go in and out of waves of like really intense. All I listen to is Latin music.

And then sometimes it's like it's not even on my radar. And I do the same with like country music. I do the same with yachts. rock, like dad rock. And sometimes I'll do the same with like future. I'll only listen to future for like two weeks straight. And then I won't think about him for six months. It really just like music is such a, I measure periods in my life by what music I was

listening to at the time. So anyway, right now it's Bezo Pluma and Young Miko. Maybe Miko. I love her bitch. She's hot, okay? You want to sit here and act like she's not? She's hot. What?

You want me to sit here and lie? She's hot. Come on, dude. Her tattoos! Okay. She is in my eyes the lesbian version of bad bunny. Okay?

So if that sounds like something you're into, get into it. I fucking love her. and I've been on a kick recently. And I'll watch edits of her on TikTok and tingle a little bit. Okay? Sometimes I get to tingle. Sometimes.

Listen, this podcast is going to be in all things go. Okay? Anything goes with Emma Chamberlain and Brittany Broski. Welcome my co-host. Emma Blabler. Thank you, Blame, blah, blin. Sometimes when I was a child, maybe late elementary early middle school.

I asked my mom, I said, well, how come when we go over a railroad track sometimes my wuss tangles? That's all I have to say on that matter. Okay? I just don't feel like sharing more. Hey, maybe I shared too much. Okay, that's the beauty of the internet. That's the beauty of this podcast, Mike, to you and yours at home.

Okay? Maybe. Maybe I should shut the fuck up. But then I wouldn't have a podcast, okay? Anyway, last night I self-tanned. I self-tanned and I use this bullshit brand. Do not buy this brand. It's called, what is it called? It's called B-Tan, Tanned A-F, Self-Tan Moose. That shit fucking sucks. You know how most self-tans, most self-tans are like you put it on you let it dry and then you sleep in it like you sleep overnight like eight hours and it doesn't really like rub off at least ones I've used

before that are like a liquid that like I've only used a moose like once in my life I usually use a liquid but I ran out of it so I went to Walmart and bought this one this shit I mean like like I would touch my finger to my arm by accident and it would wipe off and my like pale white Elmer's glue skin would be underneath from just like brushing my fingers against my arm like it did not dry down and I had to lay down a blanket on my bed to be able to lay down I was butt naked I was like

if a burglar came in right now he would probably come in here and turn around and leave okay because my nude body is enough to deter any burglar okay My nude body could be used as an international weapon. They just shine a big projection of my naked size 18 body. And it would, first of all, be so pale that it could blind any pilot within a 20-mile radius. And second of all, it would be such a jarring image. They should show it to, like, POW camps. A jarring, scary image.

Anyway, don't fucking buy B-Tan, Tand-A-F, self-tan moose. Say tan one more time, by the way. stupid ass fucking name. Holy shit. And I even use one of those mitts. And it also, it dries on the mitt, but not on your body. So I'm trying to like rubbing around because it was kind of patchy. And I did everything right, dude.

I exfoliated. I put a lotion on and it dried down. Okay? So I was hydrated. I was exfoliated. And I was dry. My skin was dry. And I put that shit on and it did not dry down.

It got everywhere. And I'm just pissed off about it. And I still smell like fucking cat chow. All self-tan smells like cat chow. But it's worth it if you get tan. And I'm not trying to be crazy dark. I'm just trying not to reflect the light from the sun. Damn.

It is so hard being a woman. Don't buy be tan. If you guys have any recommendations for self-tanned, I'm about to just go get a damn spray tan. I'm so over it. And I've never gotten to spray tan because I think they're going to make me look like Jennifer Coolidge when she has those things on her eyes,

those little circle sunglasses. And she's, I think that's what I'm going to look like. I'm scared. But the Kardashians, the Kardashians get spray tans. Okay? And I,

I am about as close to a Kardashian as they come. Okay? So if they can do it, I can do it. Don't buy beat tan. Okay. Guys, I think I've said all I need to say

for this first episode. Okay? This has been a crazy wild ride. And I'm loving you guys. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being so patient for this podcast to come out. It has been a labor of love, entirely self-funded. I paid for all of this myself.

It's in my house. This is in my spare bedroom. And I think it's so cute. I think we really, really knocked you out of the park, y'all. I think it's real, real cute. And, yeah, thank you for your patience. My talk show is coming out soon. I've teased it and talked about it a lot on the interwebs on Mark Zuckerberg's internet.

And that is coming out in the summertime. So be on the lookout for that. That's it over here at the Brosky Report team. That'll do it for episode one. Thank you for listening and subscribing and rating five stars and watching on YouTube. Spotify, Apple Podcast, whatever you like, whatever you like, whatever you, won't it's here for you. Okay? Yeah, I'm watching Doug Dynasty again. I've relapsed. All right, team. Thanks for listening. Love you, bye. Stay safe.

You started your business with a great idea and a ton of hustle. Let Gottprint.com help you look the part. Grow your business by getting professional marketing that works. Need business cards before a networking event, high impact postcards for a promotion, or sleek signs for your storefront. We offer a huge selection, reliable quality, and low pricing. Right now, get 20% off your first order with the code podcast. So don't worry about printing. Worry about growing your business. Start today at gotprint.com and print with confidence. Struggling to see up close, make it visible with Viz. Viz is a once daily prescription eye drop to treat blurry near vision for up to 10 hours. The most common side effects that may be experienced while using Viz include eye irritation, temporary dimmer dark vision, headaches,

and eye redness. Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com. On this episode of plant killers, we'll explore one nation's most notorious fruit and vegetable killer, bad dirt. What makes bad dirt so bad? The answer? The ingredients. But fear not true crime enthusiasts. This story has a happy ending. Miracle Grow organic raised bed and garden soil.

It's made with quality organic ingredients from upcycled green waste like compost and aged bark. Unlike the other guys who can't say the same. Looks like bad dirt's murdering days are over. Thanks to Miracle Grow. Join us next time on Plant Killer. Thank you.