The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 13: Tumblr Literature Renaissance

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski recounts her favorite books from middle and high school – City of Bones, The Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, The Secret History, Shadow and Bone – with a brief intermission about DJ Kahled’s inexplicable social content and F.U.N. Follow The Broski Report:  https://www.linktr.ee/broskireport https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport  https://instagram.com/broskireport  Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski  https://instagram.com/brittany_broski  https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt  Brought To You By: Tinder PDS Debt – https://pdsdebt.com/report Zocdoc – https://zocdoc.com/broski 

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.

This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Hey guys, welcome back to The Brosky Report. Starting me, your host, Brittany Broski. I am the host. And you're not. But we could come to some form of a contract or arrangement wherein you give me all of your earthly possessions, and I let you talk into this microphone for three minutes.

Now, of course, you will be censored, and your voice will be modulated much lower than what it is, so you will not be recognizable. We will not show your face, and you can't say really anything of substance, and after all that, I own everything that you've ever owned. And also, if you have a boyfriend, I get to keep him. So think about it carefully.

Let me know. Please get back to me by end of day, you know, sort of thing. Like, just let me know what you're thinking. Oh my God, they're still kissing. My Kylo Ren and my Mando. Guys, quit. We're live. Seriously, stop.

Okay, so I wanted to talk today about a few different things. But to begin, I want to talk today about my old favorite books. Because since we've come into this new, you know, it's almost a renaissance, a renaissance, if you will, of adult fantasy novels, like Court of Thorns and Roses, whatever, like that kind of sparked this. And I still need to read Fourth Wing. It's sold out everywhere, and I don't want to order it on Amazon. I want to, like, go into a bookstore and buy it.

It's this new, like, wave of people are loving it. It's Game of Thrones for the Girlies. Even though Game of Thrones is for, Game of Thrones for everyone. It's like, so it has us by a chokehold. And so I've been thinking a lot about what did I used to read, you know, in high school or in college or even in middle school. Middle school was a big, like heavy reading thing for me. Like that was when Twilight happened. That was when Hunger Games happened.

I think junior year of high school was when the sort of John Green moment happened for me when I read Fultner Stars and I was like, I've never experienced this many emotions. in the span of three days. Like that was kind of my first emotional whiplash of, oh my God, how am I attached to these people? And they're not real. John Green, I cannot believe that that's the same John Green that is John Green. So, by the way, crazy to think about. That's like, he taught me European history

and he made me cry with Augustus and whatever her name was. Okay, so I want to talk about the books that I obsessed over in middle school first and then high school, because I know I will find community with some of y'all. some of y'all i will find community with here and if not go read these books it's a great time also if you're looking to be inspired to start reading again just go to the bookstore and physically buy a book when was the last time y'all were in a bookstore and if you're on book talk like don't answer that but for the girls and people that don't read when was the last time you stepped into a

barns and noble and got a little coffee and a donut and walked around and shit your pants in the bathroom there when was last time you did that go do that this weekend it's a blast and the people that work at bookstores are so asked them any question they are some of the smartest people like they have opinions on every book they have opinions on film TV like they're just so cultured because you know working at a bookstore like to want to work there you have to kind of know what's going on to give recommendations and so on and so forth sorry let me just move my big big ass water bottle ass water bottle ass water bottle, ass water. So in middle school, the book I was absolutely obsessed with.

Other than Twilight, of course, Twilight, I could do a whole different episode on Twilight, and Twilight's impact on my psyche as a young impressionable, goopy-brained middle schooler. I digress. The book that had me by a chokehold dude was City of Bones, the Mortal Instrument series. Jamie Campbellbauer, played Jace in the movie adaptation. And the movie was so bad and it flopped so fucking hard that they did not make a second one. And it's one of my like guilty play. You know how people watched Emily and Paris.

People, like, it's so bad, but famously it kept getting renewed because people were like, this is so bad. Which is the next season? Or what's that other one? Kissing Booth. Like these are objectively bad shows. But I'm going to watch it and I'm invested. that's how this kind of came about like they just kind of did a bad job with the they just didn't make it cool

like reading the books i remember it was so cool now i was also what 13 14 and i got lost in this world of they are called shadow hunters if i'm if i'm remembering correctly and uh those little these little symbols all over him are called runes and you would draw them with like a stupid like a sonic screwdriver like doctor and i don't know if they're i don't know if this was the book where some of them were like half angel no the nephalum dude yes shadow hunter's also known as nephilum are a secret race of beings who are humans bored with angelic blood they are the appointed warriors on earth of the angel rosio they are appointed specifically to control and preside over the shadow world as well as over the demons and downworlders who inhabit it.

Now that is what I remember. The shadow world like demons would come into our realm and be disguised as humans and then the shadow hunters would have to go in and like kill them. But only people who could see the demons could see the shadow hunters. And so Clary fucking Lily James. Oh, shut up. Oh, she just pisses me off. Emily in Paris gets to kiss and suck on Jamie Campbell Bower. I don't, dude. She got to kiss and suck and lick on him for a little bit. I didn't.

It's just like... Whatever. I don't even care. I'm not even like mad about it at all. I don't even actually care that much. Lily James gets to kiss everyone. Wait, not Lily James. Lily Collins.

Lily James, I'm so sorry, sweetie. Lily James plays Pamela Anderson. I take everything back. Lily Collins is who I'm talking about. talking about. Dude, she got to kiss and lick and suck on Jamie Campbell Bauer. That is my husband. That is my baby's father. And did I say that about baseball boom on the last episode? Yes, I did. Whatever. I could have more than one baby father. I can have more than one baby. Anyway, he plays the lead in this movie and he is so good. Say what you want. Okay. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, wow. I forgot. He's just striking. I love a bug-eyed man, maybe because I'm a bug-eyed woman. This book was fantastical and magical. And I remember in this scene, there's one scene where they're in this beautiful greenhouse. And Emily and Paris takes him on a date there for his birthday. She's like, it's your birthday. We're going to celebrate. And he's like, no one's ever done anything like this for my birthday before. Oh my God. Oh, my God. These are like high quality photos. There's this scene where there's this little circular staircase in this greenhouse for some reason.

And it's also, they're like in New York City or something. I don't know, but it's this glass greenhouse on the top of the building and she like makes some dinner and all this, whatever. And it's such a romantic night. And then they're on the stairs right here and they're about to kiss. And this like, Demi Lovato song starts playing.

And I remember being 13 being like, that just took me out of it. Like I was so. into it and then I heard Dimmie the Botto and I was like that's freaking Dimmie the Vat oh okay Dimmie what the fuck are you doing here took me out of it completely and then this scene happens where he pushes her up against the door and like kind of tucks her hair behind her ear and like kind of pushes her into the wall and it's so hot and he's so much taller than her and Jesus really tight and it's like so cute and I'm a fucking freak out and his hair is the perfect link oh i can't think about that i have to watch this movie tonight

even though this is how they had him dressing dude this hooded t-shirt cut off zip-up jacket let's be so for real jamie campbellower talks bulking up for mortal instruments he's a twink that is a twinky straight man is he straight is jamie campbellbauer married dating joseph quinn is Jamie Gavar in a relationship? Jess Maloney. Who is Jess Maloney? Oh, we're about to get to the bottom of this. Y'all are about to see me do a full-on deep dived.

Here we go. Here's the Instagram. What does she do? Ooh, this is so fun. What does she do? Oh, is she a photographer? What does she do? It doesn't say.

Her bio is just simply an ice cube. Okay, cryptic. Okay, tagged photos. my god okay so they they've been dating for the oh he's they've been dating for a long time oh so they're both tatted from head to toe and they're both sexy oh so i'm humiliated and devastated this same thing happened with cameron key sing a few episodes back cameron key sing from all-star weekend oh i'm just pissed off i really i really thought that like he was about to be single okay anyway mortal instruments was a great great book and

And it was a whole series and there was like a crazy plot twist at the end of book one that was like, ew, but. And then they fix it, whatever. I really, really enjoyed that book. And I kind of want to read it again as an adult to be like, was I just horny and 14? Or was it actually good? That book is one that has like, who did this to you? Like them taking care of each other. Like, Jason, no.

Like he got hurt. She has to clean his wounds like that shit. And then it's like candlelight. And then they lean in close and he's like, ah, because she leaned on his arm or whatever. It's like that. And it's so good. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. It may just be the world's greatest eraser.

Mabelene Instant Eraser Concealer is your secret weapon for erasing signs of a sleepless night. Instantly cover dark circles and undereye bags in a tap, swipe, blend, leaving a bright, refreshed look without feeling heavy. Instant Eraser does more than. cover and conceal. With 24 shades, you can correct, highlight, or sculpt. From a subtle brow lift to defining your pout.

This is the multitasker that keeps up with you. The best part? The formula delivers flawless results for up to 16 hours with crease-resistant lightweight wear. Instant eraser won't settle into fine lines and stays smooth, breathable, and hydrating. No cakey vibes here. Just a natural, skin-like

finish that looks fresh from morning coffees to late-night RSVPs. Maybeleen Instant Eraser. Find your shade of Instant Eraser Concealer at your local retailer. Mabeline, New York. Okay, next. That was sort of like the only fantasy book

I really read. Well, that's a lie. I read City of Embers as well, which was this crazy dystopian, like, afterworld fiction. That was kind of weird. Me and my mom read it.

And I remember I was like, there's no romance in this. I don't give a fuck. But there was. But they were also like kids. And I was like, I don't care. in high school. And I wish my Bessie Taylor was sitting right here behind beside me to attest to this because I put her through the goddamn ringer and back with this bullshit that I'm about to tell you.

There is an author named Dan Brown. I was obsessed with every piece of work he had ever written by the ripe age of 15. He wrote The Da Vinci Code. If you've ever heard about this or seen this movie with Tom Hanks, the Da Vinci Code is a very famous book. critically acclaimed, you know, like everyone had it on their shelf on their fucking coffee table. And then he also wrote this book called Angels and Demons. Well, what I liked about these, because when it's not romance for me, when it's not romance and pining and who did this to you, and if there's only one bed, be able to share it, when it's not that, it's academic mystery.

Those are the two sort of categories, scatter gories of books that I like to put my books in. One is romance and pining and sex and sucking and licking. And then the other one is academic mystery. Dan Brown really ignited that passion for me. I was, I think I borrowed, I borrowed angels and demons from my uncle. He had this book at his house and I was like, this looks like T, because I was in this nephilum phase. I was reading a lot about fallen angels and all these because it was romance books and I was like angels and demons this looks fun and I started reading it and I was like this boring is this and then I sort of dove head first into it I was like oh my god I really really enjoyed it and so angels and demons is about it follows

the same character as in the da Vinci Code which I'm about to give you a full full rundown because you guys have to read these books so let me kind of pique your interest the main character's name is Robert Langdon and in the movies he's played by Tom Hanks he's a very Tom Hanks he's a very Tom Hanks Hanks-esque character, younger, like late 30s, early 40s, Tom Hanks. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer

service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com. to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. It may just be the world's greatest eraser. Mabelian Instant Eraser Concealer is your secret weapon for erasing signs of a sleepless night. Instantly cover dark circles and under-eye bags

in a tap, swipe, blend, leaving a bright, refreshed look without feeling heavy. Instant Eraser does more than cover and conceal With 24 shades, you can correct, highlight, or sculpt. From a subtle brow lift to defining your pout. This is the multitasker that keeps up with you. The best part, the formula delivers flawless results for up to 16 hours with crease-resistant lightweight wear.

Instant eraser won't settle into fine lines and stays smooth, breathable, and hydrating. No cakey vibes here. Just a natural, skin-like finish that looks fresh from morning coffees to late-night RSVPs. Instan Eraser. Find your shade of Instany Eraser Concealer at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York. And in the Da Vinci Code, no, no, no, I'll start with Angels and Demons. In Angels and Demons, there's a killer on the loose who's doing like religious or Catholic-inspired murders of priests, if I remember correctly. And it's Robert Langdon who has to go on this sort of goose chase, wild goose chase of finding.

this guy and it's this secret society always and and Dan Brown bases it on kind of real things like the occult and real cults and religious iconography and religious tradition and all these but so it's it's got a hint of fiction but it's kind of mainly based on religious practices and how fucking weird some of the Catholic stuff is no offense and how weird some of the like you know I guess Southern Christian stuff can be too. Just how when you look at religious tradition from an outside perspective, it's like, what the fuck? So there's one scene in this movie that traumatized me as a child.

There's two. All of the deaths of these priests have to do with the elements for some reason. This killer was trying to send a message and make it fucking poetic and artistic, whatever. One of the priests, Robert Langdon doesn't get to him in time to save him. and he is burned alive in a cathedral, I think like in Rome or something like that, from the feet up, like burned alive. And they show him dying. And it traumatized me as a child.

And there was a second one where this priest died by earth, quote unquote, and they find him too late as well, where it's this wild goose chase through the Vatican or through Rome or through wherever. And they're in this cathedral. and then they get down to the catacombs and the archives or whatever and they're under the church and they open this trap door and there is a single beam of light that is on this priest who has been trigger warning I guess gore impaled and his head has been like crooked back and his mouth is shoved open and dirt has been shoved like in his throat and up his nose and his ears and his eyes is just like oh my god and his skin is that you know like pale blue tone

It was so traumatizing. And I'm sure if I watched it today, I'd be like, ew, that's gross. But it's not like that hard to look at. But as a child, dude, it was that scene. And then another scene that traumatized me as a child is, I forget which Harry Potter it is. But there's a scene where Harry comes across a Dementor in the forest feeding on a unicorn, like had killed a unicorn and was feeding on its blood.

And he's like bent over it. And then he turns around to look at Harry. That shit traumatized me. Because how would you kill a freaking unicorn? Why would you ever do that? That's literally just a unicorn. What did he do? He was, he's got silver blood. Why would you kill him?

I was like seven or eight and I was like, oh, why would he do that? I just sleep with all the lights on. I thought the Dementors were coming for me, bitch. Okay, anyway, so that was kind of angels and demons and I'm not going to ruin the end of the book if you want to read it, but it's very, very, very, very good. Now, DaVinci Code is kind of a sense,

similar tone. It's a very like religious undertone, art history undertone. This is honestly, I can pinpoint these books sparking my interest in art history because so much of religious history has to do with, because think about it in the early, early ages, like 1100s, 1200s wherever up until probably 1700s when literacy became common the average townsperson could not read that's also why a lot of pubs and bars in like Ireland England Scotland wherever uh it's called like the fox and the hound or the the rabbits whatever the rabbit and the da-da-da is because they would have the image of the bar name on there because people couldn't fucking read. So now today, obviously it's typed out in English and the signs are in English, but that's why that's a fun

little piece of Anglican lore, if you care. And so anyway, the average person couldn't read. So they would teach the teachings of the Bible and the stories of the Bible through stained glass and through art in the Bible and through murals and through frescoes and through these sort of things where you can follow it and have someone explain, you know, through the sermon or through wherever what the story is on the mural and that's how people would learn. So these things are associated with, you know, sort of indoctrination, if that's what you want to call religion. Everyone, y'all know my thing on religion. Like, it is a cult.

I don't care what it is. its indoctrination, specifically, you know, Judeo-Christian religions. But that is sort of, yeah, what sparked my interest in our history. So the Da Vinci Code is about the Holy Grail being real. The Holy Grail being the cup Jesus drank from at the Last Supper. And they are trying to find it. And someone knows where it is. and there are multiple parties searching for it at the same time,

kind of like kind of Indiana Jonesy, but a little different. This book is also based on this theory that come to find out is kind of baseless and not real, but it's fun to think about and you never know. It's based on this theory that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene. And not only were they married, she bore children with Jesus. He fathered children, so therefore there is a bloodline of Christ's offspring. And the story follows someone who is the proposed, you know, child of God. And so this character is revealed to be a descendant.

And there's a secret society that has protected her identity to keep her safe for, like, since she's been born. And everyone before that. And this theory is called the Jesus bloodline, if you want to be. to Google it, by the way. Very interesting read, probably baseless, absolutely zero evidence. But then that could be argued for all of Christianity as well. So, this book also introduced me to the Fibonacci sequence, which is like, this is like nerd shit, like nerd, four eyes, four eyes, like me to myself saying that. In high school, dude, I was taking a European history class, or sorry, world history, I was taking geography and I was taking Spanish, which in Spanish

they teach you Latin to understand more of Spanish and romance languages in general. And I would hang after class to pester my teachers who, this was in Wichita Falls, Texas. Like they're not, they're not Robert Langdon. Like, they're just not. Robert Langdon was a college professor, also is not a real person, I would stay after class and pester my history teachers to like answer questions I had about religion or about the church or just about the world in general because I was 14, like I was 15. And I know that they probably thought it was cute at first and then when I was like, okay, can you explain to me again how the Fibonacci sequence is in the Last Supper, how it correlates, they'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I'd be like, yeah, you're right, sorry.

So the Fibonacci sequence, this is nerd shit. Dude, I used to draw this in my journal. I used to like, I wish Taylor was here because she would have so much to say. And I kept a journal where in class when I would get bored or if I had like studied ahead because I was a scholar in high school. I was a scholar. It was my personality. I was a theater kid and I was a scholar, period. And I was funny, I guess, because the boys were not looking, okay?

I was not pulling boyfriends. I was not pulling any romance. So you have to make up for another places. And I'm so fucking glad I did. But I was a weirdo, okay? I was, I was nerd, loser, loser. I had a journal that when I got bored in class, in this book, there is a secret code than one of the people. One of the people writes in the secret code, and it's like a cipher. It's like little symbols, and each symbol represents a letter, and it's based on this sort of tick-tac-toe-looking thing, and the dots correlate to different letters. numbers and I used to write notes to tailor in class in this fucking code and I would pass to her and I'd be like secret like you have to decrypted she'd be like what the fuck I'm trying it's biology I'm trying to take notes we've a test tomorrow and I'd be like oh and I'd bring it back and I'd like

decrypt it myself and I'd be like that's what I was trying to say she'd be like great awesome thanks just write it to me in English next time it was my special interest it was my secret passion dude so I used to do that and then also there's Da Vinci used to write left-handed and backwards so people couldn't like only he could read his notes and understand what he was saying so left-handed backwards and incursive he would take note and so people were like what the fuck are these etchings and it was just his notes it was it was whatever and so I was like I could do that and I would do that too oh I was

so fucking weird dude. Then the Fibonacci secrets, let me go back to this. So this is the Fibonacci sequence. It's called the golden ratio. It's also known as the golden section, golden mean, or divine proportion in mathematics. It is also represented by a Greek letter and this just has significance because this shape appears so much in nature. In so many ways that you wouldn't expect. It also is the perfect mathematical, I mean, this sort of thing. It's like squares or something like that. Hey, don't ask me. But I know it's significance from the Last Supper. There's a correlation in the Last Supper with the Fibonacci sequence. Guys, do you give a fuck? Hey guys, let's do a pulse check. Do y'all give a fuck? What actually am I talking about, by the way? Just doing a little

little check-in with the team here. If you don't give a fuck, say I. And if you just said I, you're going to prison. Because this is a learning hour. This is the learning time and everyone needs to get up. How is the golden ratio used in the last supper? It is believed that Leonardo Da Vinci used the golden ratio in the proportions of the table, the placement of the figures, and the overall composition of the painting. Now, what does this have to do with anything? You'll have to read the book and find out. Because it all comes together in a way at the end that's like, what the fuck?

I was 15 like, Oh my God! Oh my God! The Dervynchie Curd. Oh, my God. Armaged, Dan Brin. Armaged, Da Vinci. Sometimes I am my number one fan,

and sometimes I think that I should have all my teeth ripped out and tongue cut out. And just, you're done. you're absolutely done. I'm silencing myself. You're done. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. It may just be the world's greatest eraser. Mabelene Instant Eraser Concealer is your secret weapon for erasing signs of a sleepless night. Instantly cover dark circles and undereye bags in a tap, swipe, blend, leaving a bright, refreshed look without feeling heavy. Instant Eraser does more than. cover and conceal. With 24

shades, you can correct, highlight, or sculpt. From a subtle brow lift to defining your pout. This is the multitasker that keeps up with you. The best part? The formula delivers flawless results for up to 16 hours with crease-resistant lightweight wear. Instant eraser won't settle into fine

lines and stays smooth, breathable, and hydrating. No cakey vibes here. Just a natural skin-like finish that looks fresh from morning coffees to late-night RSVPs. Mabeline Instant Eracer. Find your shade of instant eraser concealer at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York.

So anyway, I thought I was a political cryptographer as a 14-year-old. That's really all that you need to know about me. This also kind of segues into, you know, this sort of academic mystery. If you're not really into the sort of religious aspect of academic mystery, like he is an academic through and through because he's a professor of art history and also, you know, iconography and symbols and things like that.

But if you're not into that, if that's not your cup of tea, a while back, if Bro Ski Nation remembers, I read The Secret History. And so many of y'all were like, we love Donna Tart, but it's kind of hard to get into Donna Tart, who's the author, if you're not that kind of reader. Like, if that thing doesn't really interest you, which is, it's very, um, big words. And the plot is very interesting because the narrator is an unreliable narrator. And I think that's what makes the book so good.

Because it adds this texture to the plot and to the narrative and to how things unraveled that you slowly realize Richard, the narrator, cannot be trusted. Like, he loses credibility a little bit. And it's interesting because it's like, oh my God, you're telling me this fucking story, bitch. I think that my thing with the academic mysteries that I like to feel like I'm learning from fiction because I'm too impatient to read a nonfiction. And that may be problematic. Because I did some, like as a 14 year old after I read Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code, I was like, I wonder how much of this is actually true. And come to find out, these books are

very heavily debated by both the art community, the religious community, the Catholic Church. Like everyone, this was a big, it made waves when this book came out, which I think was in like 2003, 2004. And people had a lot to say about it because obviously academics are going to take a book like the Da Vinci Code and absolutely rip it to shreds. Because it's written to entertain. It's a, it's an enthralling story with a cool main character. a little bit of romance, but mainly it's like action filled and it's shocking and it's got that religious undertone that kind of pulls you in.

The same way that I feel like Exorcist movies pull you in because it's got that religious undertone and it's framed in this way where only, this can only happen through the church or someone affiliated with the church or a priest has to come in. you know, to an exorcist from the church has to come in and fix it. It's just like, I think it's morbid curiosity that's tied to a lot of this. Somehow happy to deal with the church because it's so old and powerful and secretive. So much of religion is secretive. And I think that really struck a chord with me because I was actively growing up in the church. I was reading this. And I was like, damn, I've never thought about thinking of religion critically like this in a way.

Like that wasn't really a concept I was familiar with. And it was easier to do that with a religion that was not mine. I am not a Catholic. I have never been a Catholic. But I grew up knowing Catholics or kids whose parents were Catholic and hearing about some of the stuff they had to do. I was like, that's fucking weird. And then some people who were not non-denominational Christian or Southern Baptist Christian were like, that's fucking weird when I would say what we would do. So it's like, you know, to each their own.

But that really struck a chord with me as a child of like, what is this flavor? What is this flavor of novel, of pastime, if you will? So yeah, this book was kind of torn apart by critics because it lacked evidential bases for a true compelling story. I don't give a fuck, bitch. It was a fun read and it's my favorite book to this day. I love Angels and Demons. It's a great book. Or, well, I think Secret History might be my favorite book ever.

Recently, it took over. I read Secret History late last year, and it changed my life, dude. Like, I just enjoy the Secret History so much. The character building is so incredible. Donna Tart is a wizard with her words. And with building a compelling, I mean, she tells you what happens on the first page. It's a murder mystery. And someone dies on the first page, period.

And the rest of the book tells the story of how it happened and how these characters just unravel and why it happened. And it's fucked, bitch. It's fucked. And it's tea. And they're all sucking and fucking each other. But it's not in a way that's like, ooh, quarter of thorns and roses. It's like, ugh. It's like, gross.

Anyway, secret history is about a small group of friends' academics who are accepted into the this small inner circle of students who study Greek. And not only the Greek language, but Greek epics. Right, isn't a Greek epic? Greek epic. I'm so smart. The Greek epic may have been strongly influenced by these Asian traditions.

We're all connected as humans. Eastern influences. The Greek world in the late Bronze Age was related to the Middle East by so many close ties that it formed an integral part of the Levant. What is that? I'm bored. Anyway, they study Greek epics and like famous Greek tales and you know whatever and one of the characters gets inspired by an old tale or an old myth and tries to do it himself and the rest of the book you'll have to read because it's so good. I I had to read it.

I like shit like that though. You know, like I had to read it and I had my dictionary app open. Like I love that. I like to learn and not to bring it back to the Barbie movie, but I will bring it back to the Barbie movie really quick because that's how my brain works. That's how my brain works. Hi, hello.

Have you all seen that Melania Trump clip? Is there something you have learned about your dad in the course of this campaign that you didn't- Hello? Melania, is there something you've learned about him that you maybe didn't know he's strong he's passionate he's smart he's tough and he's an adult and he's smart he's tough he's strong he's passionate and he's smart the perseverance I mean that we always knew us there

that's always been there but I mean hello hello hello hello that's how I feel that's how I feel what I lose my train of thought it's just her face like this hello Just echoing. Or I feel like that clip of Patrick on the seahorse, this, that's what's in my brain. In my brain rattling around is this clip and... Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? You know? Patrick riding a seahorse for 10 hours, HD. What are the comments on this video? Patrick being aware that he's in a dream and can do whatever. he wants yet chooses to vibe on the seahorse ride is the height of the Sigma mindset. This is the only thing that's keeping me alive right now is one of the comments.

I just adore the simplicity. It's a perfect example of how game developers overhyped graphics when 8-bit games are just as much fun as they ever have been. But do 8-bit games have Ghost and Koenig from Call of Duty? No, they don't. Okay, next I want to... Okay, wait, I'm not done to... Okay, I think I actually am.

I'm done talking about the secret history. You have to read it. Read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Read the Da Vinci Code. If you're into that sort of stuff, if you're into like, fairy smut, read Court of Thorns and Roses.

Okay? I really don't have any more recommendations. But I will hand the mic over to y'all for any recommendations you have for me about academic mystery. I love a good academic mystery. I went through a brief dark academia phase where Babel was recommended to me and I bought it and it's on my shelf, haven't gotten around to it.

Song of Achilles was also recommended to me. That is also on my shelf. And I read Ninth House, but I did not like it. I think Ninth House is a Sarajean Mass book, isn't it? Ninth House author. No, Leibardugo. But Leibardugo wrote that Six of Crows one, right? which was the shadow and bone. Yeah, shadow and bone that TV show is so good. But I haven't read the books. Anyway, Ninth House did not impress me.

You can read it and I don't know, tell me what you thought. But if you have any recommendations for me about academic mystery, definitely drop them in the comments. I will be reading them. This episode of the Brocery Report is sponsored. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to

Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. be the world's greatest eraser. Mabelian Instant Eraser Concealer is your secret weapon for erasing

signs of a sleepless night. Instantly cover dark circles and under eye bags in a tap, swipe, blend, leaving a bright, refreshed look without feeling heavy. Instant eraser does more than cover and conceal. With 24 shades you can correct, highlight, or

sculpt. From a subtle brow lift to defining your pout. This is the multitasker that keeps up with you. The best part, the Formula delivers flawless results for up to 16 hours with crease-resistant, lightweight wear. Instant Eraser won't settle into fine lines and stays smooth, breathable, and hydrating. No cakey vibes here. Just a natural, skin-like finish that looks fresh from morning coffees to late-night RSBPs.

Mabelene Instant Eraser. Find your shade of Instant Eraser concealer at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York. Next to completely switch gears, we have to talk about DJ. Callan we have to talk about DJ Call it god dick I call her chandelier he the way y'all comment on my shit of like she makes me so comfortable being myself that's how I feel about DJ Callan I watched DJ Callan and I'm like you could be anything you could be anything I call her chandelier Have you ever played rugby?

Life. There's Roblox. Let's go golfing. Let's go golfing. I told him bring out the whole ocean. Bring out the cappuccino. This is, okay, add this to the roster of what's going on in my brain at all times. Hello?

Melania Trump, Patrick riding the seahorse, and DJ Callan. I told him bring out the whole ocean. A collar chandelier. Let's go golfing. Call me exparagus. I love that one. Call me exparagus. What the fuck are you saying?

What are you saying? Call me exparagus. It is so funny. I wish I could be half as funny as fucking DJ Kellett, not even trying. Let's go to the beach. Let's go swimming. Let's go golfing. Tell them to bring the auto.

Roses are red. Vyrants are blue. Yo. Follow me. Ladies, I'm taking. Follow me. Like what? The step is so funny.

Tell them to bring out the lobster. Tell them to bring out the lobster. Yes, sir. Tell them to bring out the lobster. All right. Look at these babies. He's so... Tell him to bring out the lobster.

What do you call this? That's avocado toast. What do you call this? That's sausage. We have got to get DJ Callet on Royal Court. Holy shit. We have got to get DJ Callet on Royal Court. I told him bring out the lobster.

Let's go golfing. I love him. Why is he this way? Why does he do that? I have got to get him on royal court, dude. We have to review some of the best DJ Khalid dancing memes. When it's 4 a.m. and your dad is brushing his teeth and you hear this banger come on. Me at McDonald's, but this banger comes on.

When my mom is about to take a left and this banger comes on. I have got to sit down and have a conversation with DJ Khalid. Like, just to have one moment. With DJ Callad, a real moment. A moment of all, a dream, a laugh, a moment on. I want a moment on with DJ Khaled. We have got to get him on Royal Court. I am not joking, dude.

Do you think he'd do it? He did hot ones. He did hot ones. A moment of love. God, there is not a better song than that. A moment alive. A kiss, it cry. What are the lyrics?

Moment of love, a dream aloud, a moment of love. You know what also is a great song that I always get confused with this one is, And it's a bittersweet symphonies laugh. Damn! Oh my God, I was hanging out with Madison Beer the other day. She's my soul sister. I fucking love. We're the same person. It freaks me out.

And we look like twins too. Stop. You can say it. No, you can say it. It's fine. I was hanging out with Madison and we were talking about fun, the band. Fun? He doesn't have any allegations or anything, does he?

You never fucking know these days. Fun the band lead singer. I had the fattest crush on him. Nate Ruse. Nate Ruse. Allegations. What happened? We Are Young did not age well? What happened?

However, there's something that has always made me feel deeply uncomfortable about how the song makes me feel. I simultaneously feel myself being pulled in by its convicted, urgent optimism, while also acknowledging the story that drives the song isn't one that deserves this idealism. Okay, fucking Shakespeare, relax. It's a song. Just look at the lyrics. While the song is admittedly inspired by a moment and Nate Roosevelt, his life that he isn't proud of, hence the

let's do better as a generation vibe. It couches that humanizing self-criticism within the story of a person who seems to be just straight up physically abusive, which is not at all what Nate's inspiration for the song was. What are you talking about?

The song begins with the line, give me a second eye, I need to get my story straight. It's unclear whether this phrase is directed. Okay, so no, he didn't do anything. She's just like doing a full in-depth analysis of the fucking lyrics. Whatever. Fun band.

Oh, do some nights I stay up. Cash it in my bad luck. Some nights out. Holy shit. I'm about to reenter my fun era. What was that album called? Aim, aim. Aim and ignite.

Holy shit. This album is so fucking good. What do you bitches know about? Fun. What do you but to know about some nights and aim and ignite? Some nights of this and my lips can build it. Here we go. Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle.

And here's the harmony. Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle. And here's the beatbox. I could beat tonics like you're done. Penitonics move out of the fucking way. I can do it. It's called a one-woman show. It's called Yes Women Can.

It's called I'm Barbie, I can be anything. And guess what I am? This Barbie is Pinatonics. This Barbie is a soprano, alto, tenor, and bee boxer. All the same time. Okay? Did you all ever used to do those apps in middle school or high school that was like the Acapella app where you would make your own song or you would sing a cover and do a

and you would record all of them individually. And you could only do like one or two or three. And then the free version was over and you had to pay for it. I was always so impressed by the people that could do that. I wanted to do that so bad. I wanted to be, I was a choir kid. Of course, I was a choir kid because I was a theater kid. But I wanted to be like pentatonic's level so bad.

And no one would do it with me. Like my friends were like, that's not cool. And I was like, whatever. And also, Acapella kids are not cool. traditionally in high school like if you do acapella successfully and beautifully arranged outside of school it slays and people love it they live for it because acapella is impressive but if you're just like trying to pitch perfect yourself in high school babe it's not going to happen loser but that was me I wanted to be to an agapelle group so bad.

Tonight. We... Oh my God. When you're lost and alone. Carry on. Carry on, carry on. I have to go to karaoke right now. I'm actually going to wrap up this episode in like five minutes and go to my room and sing carry on by fun karaoke in my room.

Oh my god, this album was so good. Were y'all into? First of all, Fleet Foxes. I love Fleet Foxes in high school. I was such a Fleet Fox's girl because that was simultaneously. I discovered Fleet Foxes and the Avid brothers and the Teske brothers in high school when I was having my bluegrass revival where the O Brother were Art Thou soundtrack was like the number one most played album ever for me.

I was really into dolly, like newer dolly, like Blue Smoke era dolly. That was a lot of just bluegrass gospel songs. And I was having that. And then I discovered Fleetboxes as well, which is like a beautiful blend of old bluegrass with modern indie. And in through all that, I also listened to this band Half Moon Run, which was so good. I loved Half Moon Run. And that like every time I hear one of those songs or a Young the Giant song, it takes cough stare by Young the Giant, fuck off, bitch.

Those, that era of music to me is so nostalgic because yes, I listened to Archie Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, whatever, but that was kind of the other side of it where I was having this sort of indie folk moment, which I guess a lot of people were, but like, Abbott Brothers. Get into it, bitch. I, bluegrass and folk country is coming back. Tyler Childers,

Coulter Wall, like there's Zach Bryan even. Like there are a lot of people who are bringing this lost art form back. And so much of country music before, honestly, 9-11 was anti-establishment. And like Johnny Cash was so

anti-fucking government. And, like, it was such a progressive. And after 9-11, country music, there was like a big shift for some reason. And I mean, I understand the reason, like patriotism, of course. But it just went too far almost where it's like every fucking song now in country music is about red, white and blue and fucking your truck. And I don't do that in a small tent. Can we be so serious for a second? Can we be so serious?

That's the type of music. it appeals to like it's not thoughtful in its art form it is a quickly pumped out like pump and dump country pop radio banger banger i say in quotes that they pump out of just like i love my truck dirt road dirt on my boots do i do whatever and they're catchy songs like john party songs are catchy whatever but i'm not listening to that and i'm like damn i love country music you know It's so meant for the masses that I find it hard to relate to that type of music, even though it has the label country music. Country music to me is like old Alan Jackson or like Randy Travis.

Or even, you know, the 90s country of George Strait, Garth Brooks, all that. Like, I like it, but I really tend to lean more bluegrass when I listen to country music, quote unquote. And it's crazy the difference in lyricism. So I could write a whole dissertation on that, on how country music was forever changed by the events of the early 2000s in America. So I think that'll just about do it for me, team, because I need to go to my room, got to get back on my iPhone, read some more ghost from Call of Duty fan fiction, and got to go sing karaoke. Okay? Now it is 147 a.m. And I don't give a thought.

And also, maybe my camera broke. but now I'm stressed out. But it's fine because guess what? It's an audio podcast and we adapt and overcome team. I love you guys. Thank you for listening. Please go subscribe to the YouTube channel, Brady Broski. Go watch Royal Court, my show.

When we have DJ Callet on the show, we're working on it, team. I've got to get DJ Call on Royal Court. But like my life depends on it. Then go follow me on Instagram, follow me on TikTok. That's how it feels. And be sure to keep up with me on... But for real, give it a like and a phone, a five-star rating. Love you guys so much.

Bye-bye. I'm U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all seem to be in a rush these days, from work to driving our kids around. But when you're behind the wheel, please do not speed. A few minutes save by going faster. is never worth a risk. So follow the speed limit. Enjoy the drive.

Maybe bring some snacks for the kids and know that along the way you're getting quality time with your family. Paid for by NHTSA. From the neon lights of the club to the harsh, buzzing lights of the office. Don't let the wear show on your face.

Just swipe Mabeline instant eraser concealer to erase the night before wherever that happens to be. Instantly covered dark circles and under-eye bags for a brighter, more awake look. This do-it-all formula also contours, correct, and highlights, all while staying lightweight, crease-resistant, and smooth. It may be the world's greatest eraser.

Find your shade of instant eraser concealer at your local retailer. Struggling to see up close, make it visible with Viz. Viz is a once daily prescription eye drop to treat blurry near vision for up to 10 hours. The most common side effects that may be experienced while using Viz include eye irritation, temporary dimmer dark vision, headaches and eye redness. Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com.