The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 138: Buzz Lightyear is an American Hero

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

This week on The Broski Report, Supreme Leader Brittany Broski debuts her first Halloween costume of the season, shares her Toy Story headcanons, explores the lore behind Among Us, and feels inspired by nature. Watch The Broski Report AD FREE: https://patreon.com/broskireport The OFFICIAL Songs of The Week Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ULrcEqO2JafGZPeonyuje?si=061c5c0dd4664f01 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Royal Court:https://www.youtube.com/@royalcourt https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Follow Brittany:https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski CREDIBLE RESOURCES TO HELP FREE PALESTINE:Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-traumaDoctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.orgWorld Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/ICE OUT OF OUR CITY / PROTEST RESOURCES:Script to Contact Your Representatives –  5calls.org ACLU – https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/protesters-rights Immigrant Defense Project – https://www.immigrantdefenseproject.org/raids-toolkit Freedom for Immigrants – https://www.freedomforimmigrants.org/resourcesImmigrants Legal Resource Center – https://www.ilrc.org/community-resources/know-your-rights Immigration Justice Campaign – https://immigrationjustice.us/ National Immigrant Justice Center – https://immigrantjustice.org/ LGBTQ+ RESOURCES:https://Translifeline.org https://Glaad.org  https://Pflag.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ REPRODUCTIVE RESOURCES:https://aidaccess.org https://plancpills.org https://Ineedana.com https://www.reprolegalhelpline.org/ https://heyjane.com Brought to You By: Rocket Money – Reach your financial goals faster: rocketmoney.com/BROSKIREPORTCashApp – Visit https://cash.app to learn moreSongs of the Week: ROCKMAN by Mk.geeAre You Looking Up by Mk.geeAlesis by Mk.geeRiley & I by Mk.geeCHAPTERS:0:00 – Intro0:10 – Buzz Lightyear3:15 – Happy Halloween5:50 – Mammeries7:19 – Toy Story16:01 – Among Us26:46 – Toy Story Cont. 43:48 – Mammal Research50:37 – Scotland Trip56:00 – Housekeeping#brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #buzzlightyear, #toystory, #halloween, #pixar, #amongus, #mammals, #scotland, #nature, #bookclub

Come see you live from the Most Nation headquarters. It's the Branky Report. From your hope, Brett May... Infinity. Brodky Report, it's me your guest host, Buzz Light Year. And when I say beyond, honey, I mean beyond. And when I say beyond, I do mean beyond gender norms. Because I'm not joking.

Every time I get rid of my hair for whatever comedic purpose, I do feel gender euphoria. And by the way, I just realized the light above me is not on, so I'm going to turn it on. Don't look at my body. Welcome back to the Breastry Report. Seriously, guys. And what a welcome back it is. What do you think Buzz Light Your's politics were?

Do you think that he supports open carry? Do you think that he would have been a right-wing voter? Or do you think because he, this understanding he's an international space traveler, he's probably seen some shit. Does he work for the United States government? Probably ultimately. Is he a part of Space Force? Probably. Okay?

Is he subject to the, every whim of the Department of Defense, chief officer? The chief of the Department of Defense. Yes. Okay? He is a pawn of the DOD. However, in my fantasy,

I choose to believe that Buzz Light Year is a force for good. okay? Because all geopolitical signs point to him being kind of a right-wing puppet. But I, not in my universe, okay? Not in mine. Not in mine. I do believe that he would have cried during the national anthem. But there is this weird gray area of like, you know, you work for space and then sometimes you're a little bit too American. Okay, you work for space, you've seen things beyond all human grasp, and then you're still a little bit American. So that's kind of the give or take there.

Okay, I'm kind of, happy Halloween. I'm of the opinion that July 31st, like, into August 1, August 1, August 1st. That is how I do it in my house, in my Christian house. We celebrate Halloween on August 1st. And I just really feel that, like, the closer I get to 30, and yeah, I'm sweating. And yeah, Buzz Lightyer's tits are sweating. Ever heard of it, honey? Yeah, Buzz Light Your head's tit sweat.

Yeah, there's moisture accumulating under his breasts. And yeah, there's a big fucking hole in my shirt somewhere. Where is it? Oh, my wings are hiding it. I have a huge hole in this shirt that, like, you can fully, like, stick your arm through it. I do believe that, what the hell is I going to say? Oh, happy freaking Halloween. I mean, yeah, I do celebrate the season starting Aug 1.

One Aug to one nove. I really am doing Halloween. And I don't mean that in like a freaking bats, Halloween, like millennial. Oh, that's what I was going to say. I really feel myself the closer I get to 30 being pulled towards that. Like, I understand it. I understand. It's like the dark side.

I'm like, no. Please, not me. Don't comfort me. Don't cover me. Please. I've been so good. It's like freaking bats. I love Halloween.

just millennial Halloween shit. I'm at the store and I see like two ghosts, like cheersing wine glasses. I'm like, how cute. I'm at T.J. Max. And it's that the, you know that design. I'll put it up here. It's hard to describe. It's that specific artist.

And I know this because I'm on fucking T.J. Max YouTube. I don't shop at T.J. Max that much. I'm just, this is what I watch on YouTube. It's like relationship content creators and their whole tea. I watch, just because that's so, T, like, you can never take that back. You know what I mean? Then I watch, like, overconsumption stuff, which is really inspiring for me. I really, like, absorb all that.

And that's how I absorb the T.J. Max stuff is this girl made this video, she was like, and the thing about T.J. Max is that all of these artists, independent artists, T.J. Max, dopes. And it is a shittier, hollower version of what the true art is. and I'm literally like doing crafts in my bed, like so fucking true. Because it is! It's so evil. It's really evil.

Anyway, there's this one specific, like, Halloween designer. I don't know her fucking name. But shout out. And it's this kind of spooky, crazy, creepy, like orange and black cat, almost like Cheshire cat type. And, yeah, you know, I'm in T.J. Max and I'm like, that's adorable. That's horrible. So just trust me, I am, you know, the closer you get to 30, the more millennial-coded you are.

I don't know what people were doing at 30 before millennials dropped. When God dropped millennials, I don't know how people celebrated Halloween in a meaningful way. Because I really just feel like millennials have their finger on the pulse of holidays, of capitalism. You know, like there's never been maybe other than like boomers. Well, and Jen X. people who have just done capitalism the way that they want you to, you know? And the beautiful thing about this buzzlight, your costume is it sits right above my, like, it doesn't cover my chest.

It covers like the area right before my chest because, you know, I ultimately have mammaries. There are not, you know, it's not boobs. It's not sexual organs. Well, they are sexual organs and the fact that they are mammaries. It's not like, oh, and her titties are sitting just right? Oh, and her titty sitting, okay, yiddies sitting just, no. These are mammaries. These are mammary glands.

It's different, okay? I look at my body as a medical anomaly. I don't look at it as a sexual object. And it's very healing. It's very healing to think of yourself as, you know, doctors are, intrigued, this should not exist. And it's just my body. So.

Okay, what I thought would be fun for today, celebrating the Halloween spirit, celebrating the month of October. Oh my God, every day is a goddamn. I was supposed to say nightmare, but I didn't mean that. Every day is a goddamn celebration.

Every day is a happy reason to be alive. Especially in the month of October. I'm going to be doing different costumes every single week. And I want to start this week by doing a thought experiment, a Nietzsche of sorts, a Freudian thought experiment of sorts. Smash her past all the Toy Story characters.

And I'm not going to elaborate. We're kind of just going to start. So let's kind of go through all of them. And now keep in mind also, I don't know about what's his name, Forky? Forker. I don't know about Forker. Is that his name?

The like Spork. Sporker! What's his name? spork character forky and forky I really feel like

they missed an opportunity here of again haven't seen it don't know anything except I do know that GIF or that clip of Woody walking holding his hand

and he's walking and he's dragging him behind him he's dragging forky behind him he keeps walking and he's like but the give up here. That's what I'm talking about. That makes me laugh every time I see it. God, I probably would love whatever Toy Story this is from. Toy Story 4. Toy Story 4. I did not get around to

see Toy Story 37. I really did not. And I need to see Toy Story 5 because Conan is in it. And that's kind of the only pull for me at this point. I would see it because Conan's in it. Okay. Going back, I do think that Forky, again, missed opportunity to call him Forker. You Mother Forker. His character are. should have been mobster, like Bostonian, almost like Italian New Yorker mobster, where his name's Forky, you know, and it's about to get, and this is his catchphrase, it's about to get real Forky in here. It's about to get real Forky in here.

And then he shanks you. That's Forky's, you know, what's the Snoopy B-sides where they're always like, Charlie Brown main plot And they're like T-da-tun-tut-tun-tun And they're like Dancing with Fall Leaves and Pumpkins And then it's Snoopy

Do-D-D-D-Doo do do do do do I did back up Do do-D-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo That's Forky's B-plot Okay, Forky is doing Yeah, boss Yeah boss Tell him boss

God boss You're so smart And funny and charming I'll handle it, boss. It's about to get real forky in here. That's what I'm suggesting for forker, for the character forker. Okay, who's next? Who's this little girl?

Oh, this, hold on, I think I do believe I saw. This is Toy Story 4. Toy Story 3. Pixar Toy Story Treasury of characters. I need to go to the originals because Lhazzo, Dun-da-d-d-da-da-da-da-da-da. Okay, here are the originals. Okay, obviously we've got Woody and Buzz Light-Ear.

Can you, like, work the way that I need you to? Now, why is it taking me to goddamn Facebook? I don't. Oh, and it's crashing my computer. Oh, and the liberal woke virus is crashing my computer. Nice, liberals. You won't win this one. Woody.

Uh, smash, first of all, Woody would be a type of Vince Vaughn husband. Do you know what I mean? A Vince Vaughn gaslighting, weaponized incompetence husband. But at the same time, Woody is incredibly high-strung. He's a, sorry, let me pull my blouse down. Let me pull my blouse down. Oh, Lord. Woody would be incredibly high-strung as a partner.

and like you think you have OCD, he's running the shit. Okay, Woody's running this shit. No one's touching him. I think that while in the beginning, you know, Woody would offer, he would court you very well. He would do all the right things. And then about two years in, or what's the seven-year itch? Okay?

Seven years in, he's going to have an affair. It will break you. But in the back of your head, you're kind of like, thank you for doing it because I didn't want to do it. Do you know what I mean? Thank you for committing this sin, because now I get to be mad at you, and a problem that was in the back of my head is fixed,

is that this is a loveless marriage, Woody. This is a loveless marriage, and I feel trapped. I feel trapped. Woody and Buzz talking to each other. I feel trapped in this, okay? I just feel like, we had a really good thing for a really long time.

No, I'm not done talking. I'm not done talking. Wait. This is Woody and Buzz having a domestic dispute, a marital spat. Okay, and I just feel like you've been neglecting me emotionally and whatever. And then here comes little Bo Peep. I sucked it. I sucked it.

So therefore incriminating Woody because Woody, well, hold on. Did Buzz cheat or did Woody cheat? Maybe not. I sucked it. Surely not I sucked it. Like, surely that's not... I sucked it. Like, surely that's not...

That's not the plot that I'm taking this, too. Okay, anyway. Can my wings... Thank you. Woody and Buzz, domestic dispute. I had a macha. And so my throat is just a little bit coated in a milky kind of...

a coat, throat coat. And Kim Petrus, throat goat. Thank you. Okay, that's Woody and Buzz. And, you know, ultimately is Jesse the sidepiece? Is Little Bo Peep, the side piece? Who knows? Because at one point in time, Woody and Buzz were incredibly intimate.

How could they not be? And it is this almost heated rivalry. Like, one of them's the hard ass. One of them's the, you have to do it this way, okay? The Hudson Williams one. And then the Connor Story one is Buzz Lightyear. where he's like, you know, he's DL. They're both DL.

And that's sad. That's sad because I would like to imagine a toy store universe where they can be out, where it's Pride Month for the toys, okay? Pride Month Woody, where he is, his boots are pride, his hat is pride, he's got a gay little bandana, maybe he's topless with glitter. He's in a weenie bikini that's pride. Like, you know, and you pull the string and it's like a Frankie Grande song that plays. I do see that for the Toy Story franchise.

Buzzlight, you're on the other hand, he's got to play both sides, okay? They might put him in like a Harry-styles wide-leg pant and a tank top, okay? They'll show his, he's got some, like, tattoos from his time and the service. Again, what service? I don't know. Is he Republican? Is he a Democrat? I don't know.

I can't say at this time, but I can say that he was a good and loyal partner to Woody for seven plus years, you know, until one of them was unfaithful. So, with that being said, let's move on to Jesse. Jesse lesbian. Jesse Butch. Jesse is the manliest man out of all of these characters. This whole cast of characters, the gang, Jesse was the one that got that shit done. She is a go-getter.

She is a U-Haul lesbian. She would love bomb you in a way that is so unbelievably personal. and then six months in, get bored and move on to somebody else. I bet her a little bo-peep had something. I bet her a little bo-peep had something, and I mean that. I'm still trying to... I'm trying to familiarize myself with my soundboard. Hi, my name is Carmen Winstead.

Wrong one. Sorry. Buzz Light, You're Among Us Trade. Buzz Light Year Among Us Trade. I always make this reference, and I feel like no one ever laughs. So I'm going to do it here with my captive audience. Whenever, like, you know, you get a scratch or like you're riffing about, you know, oh, I hurt myself or oh, whatever.

I'm always like, among us bone sticking out. You know what I mean? Among us bone sticking out. This is how I feel when it's like, you know, someone like shoulder checks you or you like graze your arm on something. And it feels like it ripped your skin off. I'm like Among Us bone sticking. Like ultimately, this is hilarious.

Whoa. Holy shit. Anatomical diagram. Because it's one bone. Among us is very complicated. R slash gaming. Now, this is something I have never. Oh, I don't like that they drew eyes on it.

I don't like that. They don't, it would be one eye. It's one eye. And where do the arms go? Ew. Ew. Why is it like a skeleton pterodactyl? It's like a human.

teradactyl. Oh, I do not like this. Let's click on it. Someone says, top comment, looks like it has a penis. Response. LMAO.

Looks like it has a penis. LMAO. And then someone else said looks rather yummy. It reminds me of how they draw meat drumsticks in cartoons or emojis. And then he followed that up with the drumstick emoji.

So yeah, you know, really, really interesting things happening on Reddit. I do believe, obviously, like, you rip its head off or it gets flown out into space or blown out into space. It gets ejected. And it's just one bone. So there's not even a brain, unless it's, like, at the top of the femur, it's one femur, its whole body, it's just a brain stem.

Like, that's probably more probable than this teradactal situation. That's a lot of micro bones to be fit in this gelatin encasing. and this minion-esque boars skin and casing. Not to bring it back to the first episode back. But like, yeah, dude, Among Us skin has to be thick because think about it, you're out in space, a lot of different pressures, a lot of different chemicals. You know, you're in that suit, but the suit has to be breathable. So, well, I guess it doesn't have to be breathable.

It's airtight. But at the same time, can you pee in the Among Us suit? And what is the backpack on the back? Is there like lore to Among Us? Like, why are they on the ship? The backpack worn by Among Us crew members functions visually as a life support or oxygen tank. Though its exact in-game purpose remains a running mystery. Spasuit design.

The shape mimics real-life astronaut gear, duh, specifically a primary life support subsystem, which typically holds oxygen and removes carbon dioxide. Here are lore and fan theories. While many fans view it as an oxygen tank, others point out that. that an oxygen sabotage still causes immediate failure, meaning it is not a standalone air supply. Official animations and shorts suggest that removing the backpack reveals anatomical secrets, treating the pack almost like a part of their core suit or biology. Ugh, a fleshy skin sack on the back of my crewmate uniform.

No, my skin sack! It's like ripping off a mole. not remove the crew members backpack. That is their skin. Got your backpack. No! It's like a skin tag. What else was I going to look up? Why are the Among Us?

Smung us. Why are the Among Us characters on the ship? On the sch. The crewmates are on the spaceship known as the Skeld. On a deep space exploration and mining mission for a corporation like Mira. What the hell is Mira? Alien threat. The impostors are shapeshifting alien parasites that have infiltrated the crew or hitched a ride on the ship.

Am I stupid? I just didn't know this. I thought it was like, I'm going to play pretend. I'm going to get you. I didn't even think about. There's an infiltration. There is an enemy aboard. Enemy aboard.

Get him off the shit. I didn't even realize that. I thought they were just like friends playing jokes on each other. And I do, this is, whatever this is called, I know there are some nerd gamers out there that you can, like, diagnose me. In any video game I've ever played. And for me, it started with Spiro. Do you know that dragon game? Obviously, checks out now.

knowing who I am and what I like. Spiro, Spiro, Spiro. He's a cute little purple dragon and you can, like, build stuff and build flowers. I loved that game. What I liked about that game is being able to just roam. I like the free roam. I like the free play. I don't like having missions.

I don't really care for the missions. Don't care much for being told what to do, having shit to do. I want to just roam. Any game, I'm like that. We used to play Little Big Planet, me and my siblings. any of the Lego games, I just wanted to roam. I don't, oh my God, we have to do something? Minecraft, I love to roam.

Okay, like, among us as well, I get real stressed out when it's like, I gotta go here and do this, I can't do the wires, and I got to go here and go. Oh my God, somebody died. Oh my God, what you do? It's literally, I, and so I think that whatever that is speaks to my carefree and loving nature. It really speaks to, I just want to go have fun.

I'm here with all my crewmates, and I'm just trying to have fun. And then the game maker, like Seneca Crane, rips off my mole on my back. And they started doing experiments on me. I won't tell. I won't tell. They're trying to hold my arms now, but I have no arm bones.

No, no. They keep fracturing my main femur bone in different areas. Anyway, the obscure lore of Among Us. It's 55 seconds long. Let's watch it. The goal of the crewmates are. to oust the impostors, and the goal of the impostors is to obviously kill everyone. After the imposter kills someone, their body is left for someone to discover.

Either a crewmate or imposter can report it, which summons all players to the conference table for a meeting, and from there the players can discuss where they've been, and they must prove their innocence or point blame. And from that, whoever was voted, you can eject them into space or burn them alive, all depends on the map. It's a little more nuance than that, but you get the gist. It's like a video game version of the 1980s movie, The Thing. First, the characters.

Well, there aren't really characters besides the crewmates, and none of them are really different. They are different colors, and some have different jobs, but they are functionally all the same. I don't know if they are humans, they breathe air, they have blood. They are only 3 foot 6 and weigh 92 pounds. All of them do. Okay, how do we know their height and weight? How do we know that? Who did that empirical research?

They are 3 foot 6 and weigh 90 pounds. pounds. Just like a minion. Not unlike a minion. Hello! Not unlike a minion. Has anyone ever put two and two together that minions might be among us? Minion among us!

Minion X Monsters X.Mung Us collab. I'm getting high as balls and going to the theater and watching minions in space. I'm watching minions be catapulted out into space, solving a greater of a domestic terrorist threat upon the skilled. I'm watching that. Yes, I am. Coca-Cola. Hello.

That's what I'm doing. I would love that. Guys, illumination, hear me out. Minions, among us, Minecraft. You get me? And for audio listeners, I just kind of, I pushed three of my fingers together. And for audio listeners, I just kind of like pushed, I, one, two, three, pushed my three fingers together. Okay?

I didn't know that there was like crazy lore like this. I also was always so jealous because, again, I always was the imposter or got voted out among us because I don't give a fuck. Like, I'm not doing my job. I'm following people around. I'm being annoying. We were like, imposter! Imposter! And I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

So I was always kind of like, my meatbone was thrown out into the space for the space hounds. But like, I wish I kind of would have tried because there's. so much lore. This is kind of reminding me of a fanaf. It's reminding me of like a, why is, why is the fan base for Among Us so intense? I have to do a deep dive. Another thing I loved about this damn game is all the little things you can have. Like, I loved the little sprout on the top of your head.

He's got a little ham following them around, like a little spiral ham. That's cute and fun. Now, is the ham sentient? Does the ham think for itself? Does it have thoughts and feelings? Or did you just, is it like a snack? for later. There are so many, they used to have all the little shit you can put on your head like a pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Do you even know what

you're subscribed to? Seriously, can you name them all? I recently found out I was paying for a meditation app. I don't even have downloaded on my phone anymore. That's not helping me relax, bro. It's actually doing the opposite, so thanks for that. Rocket Money can actually track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with a few taps, giving users an easy way to stop paying for things they don't use. You can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard

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All right, back to Toy Story. Back to Toy Story. Jesse, lesbian. fucking Alex Jones class. Patriot. Patriot. Patriot. That's Buzz Lightyer.

Patriot. Woody. Patriot. Jesse. Lesbian. Bullseye. Loyal. Bullseye.

Pass. Okay. All three up to this point have been smashed. Bullseye. Pass. Bullseye, friend zone. I fear for his intelligence he gives, you know, and I hate this term, but for lack of a better term golden retriever boyfriend hate that right because why do you want why do you want someone to

just follow you around and slobber like surely we have higher standards for ourselves than that just like a submissive subservient like i'm not but then every once in a while he'll have a thought and then he'll go back to just like drooling on himself and like licking his his beanus licking his bull's-eye Beenus. Ever heard of it, honey? So yeah, bullseye probably passed. Bo-peep, again, lesbian.

And I think that she... Actually, no, Bo-Peep, Pan. Because when you're that sexy, pan, you can get anybody you want, and she does. Trust she does. But she also inherited her father's land. So she understands the value of hard work.

She understands the value of working the land, of having a relationship, ship with the land and with her, her, uh, Billy goat and gruff, which I do love them. They're very sweet, her little sheep. And I, I think they're conjoined at the hip. I do think they're like a dolly the sheep

or maybe a, um, what's the two, tonight, the two-headed goat will see double the stars. What's that fucking quote? Is it cow? Two-headed calf poem. Tomorrow, when the farm

boys find this freak of nature. They will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum. But tonight he is alive and is in the north field with his mother. I forgot how sad this poem is. It is a perfect summer evening. The moon rising over the orchard, the wind and the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. Yeah, that's actually pitiful. And I wish I hadn't read that. But we move on. We carry on. Yeah, Billy Goat and Gruff. They're giving me that. Okay. Billy Goathe. and gruff, no comment. I have no hard opinions on them.

They are ultimately the property of Bo Peep. So, yeah, I think Bo Peep, she's a hard work at Patriot. Bo Peep, Patriot. Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head. Racist. Mr. Potato Head is a boomer racist. Mr. Potato Head is a boomer racist who remembers America the way that it was, the way that it,

quote unquote, used to be. Okay? When they talk about the America, they want to make great again, it's his America. And that's scary. You should be scared of that. They live in a penthouse in New York. He has anything he could ever need in his ass, in his ass compartment. He stores it in his ass.

Suss. Your suss. Mr. Potato Head, D.L. Next. Mrs. Potato Head. Stupid. Mrs. Potato Head. Blonde.

and stupidly comfortable. She doesn't know that Mr. Potato Head has been having illicit affairs with people that work for him for years, okay? And his ass is full. His ass is full of shit. And Miss Potato Head, she lives a comfortable lifestyle

that was afforded to her by Mr. Potato Head, so she's not going to complain. She's never going to complain. Why would she ever, like, raise a complaint or anything above, like, slight nagging at Mr. Potato Head. Do you know what I mean? Her life is fine. Like, she's got the credit card.

She's off with the girls. She's doing, like, the Hamptons every other weekend. She's fine. Like, they hardly see each other. But when they do, it's this fake, like, I love you, schmooopsy poo. Like, it's very that. He kind of has this attitude of, like, she's my fucking crazy wife, but I love her. 55 years married and have been happy.

He's cheating on her every day. 55 years, she stood by me through everything. You know the couple that I'm talking about. That's them. Slinky Dog, anarchist. Slinky dog, anarchist off the grid. I believe he has a kind of like the... And not in a Republican way, but like the 5G...

Like, someone needs to come scan for 5G. He's kind of Fillmore from cars. He's kind of this like hippie-dippy, uh, lay-a-be-a-bo-de-butt. Like, that's very slinky dog. Leigh-a-be-bo-de-butt. Did Joel's parents do that to their dogs? Because my mom did.

My whole family does that shit. Leigh-be-a-bo-de-buttie-butt. Slinky dog, yeah. He would be kind of in the camp of henchmen, a la Forky, but Forky's much more loyal. Slinky Dog, he would have a conscience about it. I'd be like, slinky, sick him. And if he didn't agree with that command, he'd be like,

I don't know, boss, do we have to? Like, that would be slinky. And ultimately, he would defect. He would defect. And that's fine, because that's his arc. He's kind of like, he gets his own spin-off show like Penguin, like Batman Penguin on HBO. So it's fine.

Rex, hypochondriac, Rex, high-functioning OCD, probably an autism diagnosis, but it's incredibly high-functioning. I think that he's got a few roommates. Rex lives with a few different roommates. He's not really comfortable living alone. He could if he really wanted to, but he doesn't want to. And that's fine. You know, that's fine. I think for Rex's journey, he's very gentle.

He's a gentle giant, asexual. no partners, no nothing, fine just being within the company of his friends and family. And it is kind of, you know, Rex is under ADA. He has limited mobility with his arms. And so he needs the rest of the gang to kind of help him in that regard. And they do. They're very accommodating to Rex because they understand. And he's just a nice guy, you know, not a bad word to say about Rex.

Ham, Patriot. Ham is the brains of the operation. Ham is a kind of, what are those shows that, like, Gen X parents love, like, Reacher and, like, Jack Ryan and Landman. Any of those Taylor Sheridan shows, Ham would be on one of those.

He would be operating a helicopter. He would be, get down. Doof, doof, do, do, do, do. That would be Ham. He's kind of, actually, no, Ham would be in mission control. Ham would be running some sort of like, Agent Bourne, do you copy?

Agent Bourne, do you copy? We lost him. We lost him. And then his radar beep starts beeping again. Beep. Beep. And Ham takes his glasses off. Jesus Christ.

It's Jason Bourne. That's Ham. Okay. Patriot. Alien. Traitor. Vampire. Alien.

Smash. Actually, go back to ham. Smash, Rex, pass, slinky dog, smash. Missed potato head, missed potato head, smash, both smash. Okay, alien. Smash. And alien is, you can't figure him out, can you? He's an elusive little fucker.

You can't figure him out. There's about a billion of them, okay? So you think you know one, oh, you were talking to his brother. Okay, how was I supposed to know? So I think that alien as a partner, first of all, language barrier. I don't know what you're saying, pal. Hey, speak English, dude. Hey, pal, speak American.

I don't know what you're saying. Other than that, a wonderful lover, a really fantastic lover. You know, they're not from here. They're foreign. They're foreign. So it's almost like dating an Italian. It's very exotic. Very exotic.

You know, you're on a date with him and he's like, And you're like, I'm blushing. I don't even know what to say. Like, you are just so complimentary. Thank you. And right back at you. You know, so tell me about where you grew up. And then 30 of his brothers who were also on the date with me, they start laughing.

And I'm like, I love how close you are with your friends. No, it's a green flag. And I don't mean green because you're green. I just mean, sorry, I'm like nervous. And he's like, I don't know what they sound like. We got to look up what they sound like. Alien from Toy Story. Stranger from the outside.

Okay. I am just now realizing in my folly that the aliens do, in fact, speak English, all of them. So, I was confusing the aliens with minions. I confused them, and that's on me. That's a bit racist of me. All you guys are the same. All you little guys, you're just the same.

Among us, minions, aliens, you all look the same to me, okay? I did not take the time, especially as a ranger, okay, as a space explorer. I did not take the time to fully, you know, appreciate the differences in culture. the harm and damage that I've done to the alien community, I'm sorry. And I didn't know. You know, I didn't know, stranger from the outside. Ew. I forgot.

I forgot about that. So, I'd like to apologize. I really did not mean to offend the aliens from Toy Story. But yeah, really cute guys. I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. I have to rewatch Toy Story. I'm like giggling like it's my first time seeing it.

They all go and touch his chest. That's funny. And I have to watch that forky bit of him like trying to keep up and then being dragged. That's funny. That's funny. Okay. Alien. Forky.

Done that. Vampire. Sarge. Patriot. Patriot. Patriot. Sarge. Sarge is the classic...

Don't marry him. Pass. Pass on Sarge. But he is a patriot. Sarge is what the U.S. government wants. They wanted, other than the Vietnam draft, the few, few American men that were like, send me, send me!

That's Sarge. Okay? For World War II, when people were like, I'm 13, but I'm going to put that I'm 17 on my shit and then they got sent off to war and then inevitably sent back because they lied, that's Sarge. Like, why are you so excited about war, bro? Like, genuinely, what's wrong?

What's up? You're so fucking hyped about the war. There are other men create shit. Actually, I have a real issue with Sarge because men create things to create pain in the world because they're bored. Because they feel like their life doesn't have enough meaning on its own. basking in the beauty of what this wonderful life has to offer, they have to create strife and pain. They think that it gives them a higher purpose.

They're serving a higher purpose. All this shit about glory. All this shit about victory. What the fuck are you talking about? That is such a man-made concept that it's like, wow. Sarge is just to me, the epitome of this. Like, oh my God, your whole life is about glory and victory and like fucking saluting the flag and crying. Like you, oh my God.

Like, yeah, a patriot, but not, not, do not get married. That meme of like, it's always the military spouse Disney lover. Like, he's got a Disney adult wife, bro. He's got a Disney adult wife with a bag full of lounge fly Disney backpacks, a wall full of ears. Their monthly expenses at Disney total in the tens of thousands. Okay? And he doesn't make that kind of money.

He is not an officer in the fucking military. He is a plastic toy, and you are abusing his credit card buying all this bullshit because you don't have a job. You don't have a life of your own. Your identity is capitalism. Your identity is buying a lounge fly backpack. So that when your husband comes home from war, PTSD battered bruise, he tries to strangle you in the night. You're like, but I got the Halloween drop. But check out these beauty and the beast ears.

you know, that's Sarge. That's Sarge and his army wife. And that's fine, okay? Next, RC, Patriot. RC really got them where they needed to go. R.C. was the glue. He was who they relied on. They controlled him with the little remote.

The little, so that was like a good team bonding thing. R.C., I can't overstate how crucial he is to this crew. Smash. Absolutely smash. and Rocky, I can't say I remember Rocky, is Rocky one of those at SIDS? All those fucked up freak-ass toys at SIDS. And now watching this movie back, which I need to, but like remembering all the freaky concoctions that Sid made. He's a designer.

Okay. Tim Burton eats your heart out. Any of these like claymation, whatever, like, you need Sid on your team. He was pre-goth, okay? Very, very cool, actually, to start exhibiting signs of goff at what? Eight, nine? Most people don't realize that until they're teenagers, okay? He was an early onset goth.

E-O-G, early-onset goth. He was ripping the heads off shit and gluing him together and making, actually the creations he made really, really cool. I take Sid, I'm going to add Sid to this list, and I'm going to say artist. Sid from Toy Story, artist. So yeah, what now? What now? You ever thought about it that way? Sid was the epitome of a child being creative with his toys.

And if I was his mother and I walked in the room and I saw the shit he was doing, yeah, I'd say maybe we need to get you into, you know, counseling of some sort. But in the service of let's channel that into fashion design. Let's channel that into an almost Simone Rocha sort of, you know, playboy cardi opium like night. like I miss the rage kind of thing. Like we need him to wear the next Rick Owens drop. He needed to be the archetype for like something Drewski would make fun of.

Do you know what I mean? And that is really beautiful when you think about subcultures and about them being represented in media. I think that Sid could have been an opium core influencer about 15 years down the line. So never stop believing in your kids because they could really do some amazing stuff someday. Truly. Okay, something I really wanted to look up that is totally not toy story related is do all mammals have balls? Holy shit. Yes, all male mammals have testicles. They do not all have them hanging outside the body in a scrotum. So scroodies, scroodies are limited to what? Most mammals, like humans, dogs and horses, have testicles that descend into an external sack

called a scrotum. Internal testicles. Some mammals like elephants, manatees, wails, dolphins, and platypuses keep their testes inside their abdominal cavity. They've got their nuts in their guts. They've got their nuts all up in their guts. I didn't know that. Well, you learn something new every day.

Do all, I've thought this as well. Like, okay, mammals, we're mammals, obviously. There are water-dwelling mammals. Look, my wings are like, they're drooping because they're sad. They're drooping because I'm not hard. I'm soft. My wings are soft. There are water-dwelling mammals.

There are land mammals. But ultimately, can't, speak, speak, speak, speak, speak. Speak, speak. We're so back, by the way. Here's my question. Can mammals be in water?

How long can a mammal be in water before, like, you die? And I don't mean drown. I mean, like, how long could I physically be in water before my health starts to deteriorate? Do you know what I mean? Like, what happens if you stay underwater forever? How long can human skin be wet? How long can human skin stay in water? Your skin does not instant,

what, bro? Your skin does not instantly fall off. Who said shit about your skin falling off? Who said shit about your skin falling off? I did not know that was an option. I did not know that could happen. Your skin does not instantly fall off, but significant structural damage

and loss of elasticity begin after, about 12 hours of continuous water immersion. That's from Binghamton University. Oh my God. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. 30 to 60. Oh, I actually can't. This is a new fear. This is a new fear. Awesome. 30 to 60 minutes. Your fingers and toes turn wrinkly. It's a normal nervous system response, not actual skin damage. 12 hours. The outer layer of your skin loses important oils, natural moisture and elasticity. Several days. Continuous soaking,

what, leads to severe skin breakdown. The skin becomes soft, white, and fragile, macerated. One week or more, extreme prolonged exposure causes the outer skin cells

to lose cohesion and sluff off or detach completely. I didn't know that. I didn't know that could happen. I didn't know that could happen. But who's staying in the pool for a week? This would be more like my, you know, very real fear of being just stuck at sea.

What if I'm in a shipwreck and I'm stuck at sea? I'm going to be in water for a week until somebody comes and grabs me. On a human body left in water, skin typically starts to peel away in about a week. Okay. And I bet you have a UTI as well. skin fell off plus UTI plus L plus your bald plus your white Actually you're red because your muscles are exposed Plus your bald plus you're red

So what now I did not know that that is a thing Hypothermia infections Dehydration Oh my God David Blaine was in a tank of water for a week I don't want to know I don't want to know I don't want to know I'm not looking that shit up

There is a limit there is a limit You'd suffer open sores. I don't need to know all that, dude. I don't need to know all that. Okay. Sam had no idea that your skin could sluff off. By the way, not a worst pair of words. Sluff off?

Wow. New fear unlocked. Me every time I get into a pool. Well, my skin could sluff off, so I actually can't be in there for longer than 60 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, you guys have fun with your fucking exposed vertebrae, your exposed muscle, muscular system, and have the fun with the open source, and your shit starts to fall off and peel off,

and you have hypothermia probably, and you die. Yeah, I'll be over here in the shade. This episode is sponsored by Cash App. Cash App for me has been a lifesaver for when I only bring my phone places, and I get pretty great cashback deals at places I love to blow money, like bookstores. Cash App does more than you think. when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. Cash app just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App

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discounts provided by Cash App, a Blockink brand. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Thanks, CashUp. Totally unrelated to absolutely anything I've been talking about. I wanted to share a transformative experience that I had back in May. This is deeply earnest, not related to wanting to fuck Sarge from Toy Story. I went to Scotland in May. Dude. I genuine, like, of course I was really

burnt out from the Brosky Report. Slow down. You know what I mean? Like, slow down when you're speaking and also my blouse keeps riding up. I was very burnt out from the Broccoli report, but I will say that was the one thing I wanted to come back here

and talk about is I went to Scotland on a family vacation. and it was so, like, I don't even think restorative is the right word because it kind of changed something in my brain in terms of reconnecting with, like, the beauty. And I, here's also what I've learned about myself the older I get. Love L.A. Okay, love a palm tree, love the beach, love whatever. I am meant to be in the cold rain. I'm meant to be in the rain.

I love the rain. I love a heavily wooded forest. I love a mist over a lock. These things truly, it's, do you ever have that feeling? Like when you go somewhere or it's a certain type of weather and you're like, this is what I'm supposed to be in? Like for a lot of people, that's sun.

For a lot of people, it's the mountains. It's like, oh, this is. And I do think that calls back to some ancestral something. It's like this is, and what's it called phenotype? Is that what that is? You know, like if you have a lighter hair, lighter skin, lighter eyes, it's because you're meant to be in places that are not as bright all throughout the year. Or like fucking Iceland or wherever, like the Nordic countries.

And then the more sun-exposed areas, that's when like you're very melanated. You have darker eyes to protect against the sun. Like, is that called a phenotype? Is that an outdated word? Correct me in the comments, the exact term that I'm thinking of. Man. Being in Scotland, I was like, this is, yeah, this is correct for me. And it was deeply healing.

And I did a little forest walk through some, like, protected forest in the highlands. And it was genuinely something out of a fairy tale. I didn't know those places actually existed. I thought it was just like TikTok bait. It's like like tourist slop. But it's like what, calling nature tourist slop? But you know what I mean? Where it's like, the viral waterfall, the viral da-da-da.

And you go and it's just like there's trash everywhere. People don't take care of it. It's like just that one spot. And then the rest is like apartments. You know what I mean? This we went. It was in the middle of nowhere. Just a nature trail.

And I did it. And I left. And I was like, oh, this has changed me. And I struggle really to put it into words. of I felt so small in the best way. Like, it's not about me. It's never been about me. It is so much bigger than me.

All of my problems fall away when you're standing at the base of a huge tree. You know, like when you're listening to a creek. That scene from, what fucking movie is that? The Beaver one that just came out. Hoppers, at the beginning of that movie, when it's her and her grandma, they're sitting on the rock. and she's like, just, shh, listen. And then it does all these zoom-ins of like each little micro-ecosystem of like the tadpoles in the pool and then like the dragonflies about the pool and then, you know, like birds coming

to eat and then it zooms up into the trees and it's like birds with their young and then everything like flitting, the trees moving and the whatever and the wind and the and the bugs on the rock. It's just like everywhere around you is life all the time. It's so much more important than you, actually. Like, we are the most egotistical creatures alive. We add nothing to the functioning or survival of the earth of the planet. In fact, all we do is harm it.

So that really was like, oh, wow, I'm going to cry. And, like, I cried in the forest. And it was just so unbelievable. And how sad is that that I'm so far removed from something as special as that? would I live in Southern California? Like one hour that way is mountains, one hour that way is desert, one hour that way is beach. Like it's just taking the time to go and appreciate it and do it and explore. And sometimes I'm so trapped in my own brain that I, that feels like the most difficult

thing in the world to me is like leaving my house and doing something that is ultimately in service of myself, but also, you know, a lot of these parks you pay an entry fee and is to conserve it. So I don't know, that's something that kick started back in May, and I've been trying to find small ways to implement it in my life ever since. And I'm kind of re-inspiring myself to go and find a nature trail in L.A. Because it's finally cooling down. It's been 100 billion degrees.

So, yeah, that's something I just wanted to share. If you ever go to Scotland, find a forest. Obviously, don't get murdered. Like, don't die. I don't think they have, like, Scottish murderers like that. I don't think the Scots are, like, killing people. the way that Americans are. But yeah, 100% would recommend it was life-changing. Okay. You know what time it is.

Housekeeping. Let's go ahead and get into it. Song of the Week. Anything by McGee. I'm back on my McGee shit. Rockman is my favorite song by him ever. But like, are you looking up? Alessies. Riley and I, Riley and me, what's that song? That whole album that all those are on, I'm back on it. I'm so back on my bullshit. What I'm watching, I'm still watching girls, but also I've been watching influencer commentary videos when I eat lunch. Spooky. Okay, just so much, it's so much. I like to stay up to date with like the heavy hitters and like how out of touch influencers can be because I don't want to ever be that.

You know what I mean? I want to see what the girls are doing so that it's like, oh, yeah. Not that I would have a propensity to do those things anyway. And I'm talking about like luxury halls or like over consumption core and all that. Like that stuff really, I'm not going to say I enjoy watching it, but it's very interesting to watch because I'm like, now, girl? Now? Like it's not 2015 anymore.

What I got for Christmas? And it's like a Dior bad. You can't be doing that. It's just so strange to me. And so I was all sometimes watched that. on YouTube. As well as Mina Lee, I fucking love, sorry, Minna Lay. I love Minna.

She is probably my favorite YouTuber other than Luna Montana. Love those girls. What I'm looking forward to, I'm doing some fashion week stuff this week. I'm going to a Michael Kores show, very excited. And I am just so completely friggin' honored they dress an old heifer like me. You know, I can't believe they have the big ass size of size 12, US 12, US 14 sometimes when I've eaten a bit much. I'm just so honored, but I am really excited. And also it's fall.

I'm excited for fall. I'm probably going to Ireland sometime October, November, because I've got a good friend group over there now. And the big fat dub, it's just like a second home to me now. How lucky am I to get to say that? Like my Irish obsession really turned into like, let me find some found community here. Let me actually go ahead and set up some roots here randomly. So yeah, those are what I'm looking forward to, some style things I'm loving or something new I'm doing style-wise this week.

I thrifted this really fun blue, pale blue purse from J.W. Pay, Pi. It was like 30 bucks, and it is so cute. And I got these tabbies that are light blue as well. And then I thrifted this blue tank. And I'm very excited to do, I'm going to pair it all together with like this pretty layered, tiered, striped skirt. Can't wait to reveal that on the IG. Unless it looks fucking stupid, then no, I'm not.

But yeah, very, very into playing with color. Okay, I'm so used to dressing in like black, white, and red. And I'm really trying to expand my horizons. Also, this probably isn't the Avenue or Millie-U. Great word, look it up. Millie you to ask for this, but what is my color analysis? I could do the shit on TikTok. I could do whatever, but I feel like I'm white in a way that's like, um, some colors are going to look fucking awful. I know I can't wear pink. I know I can't wear yellow. But everything else is kind of up for

grabs. I don't know. Sometimes I find this really pretty green, like a, not a sage green, but like a, It's almost a puke green, but I really love it because that with a burgundy together, so beautiful, and I'm worried I can't wear it. And I know it's like, you can wear whatever you want, queen. Shut up! I want to know on my skin tone, is it flattering, or will I look like I have the suds?

Do you know what I mean? So if anyone's willing to do a color analysis on me, just go ahead and let me know. And then as per usual, plug the Patreon, if you guys have questions, suggestions, recommendations, things to Google that you would like to throw at me, go on the Patreon and submit any of that. We're going to be pulling from it over the next coming weeks,

maybe even year, because I really want to start incorporating Roski Nation. Okay, I'm going to incorporate. Okay, I'll... Brat. It's really hard to talk sometimes. And like, I do it for the... Brat.

I do it for the living. Anyway. Yeah, go on the Patreon. And as per usual, we've got the Britney Berksky main channel. Don't get used to the uploads on there, but do go enjoy the back catalog. Royal Court, new upload every single week. We've got merch. Go check out the merch if you are so inclined.

And then Patreon, yeah, guys, that's pretty much it for me. I will see you next week. And until then, to infinity. Wait. Chase infinity, right? To infinity. And beyond. Bye.