The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 15: Christian Girl Autumn

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski runs through some housekeeping items, discusses the state of country music, and Christian Girl Autumn.Follow The Broski Report: https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany:https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Brought To You By:Athena ClubTinderPDS Debt – https://pdsdebt.com/report 

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This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brosky. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of The Brookesky Report. I am filming this for a second time because I did eight minutes of the first episode and then a wave of diarrhea hit me so bad that I literally had to hop up out of the chair and leave the room. So my brain just said, yeah, so that just happened. Okay, mustache moment. So I just shit my brains out in the bathroom and I'm back. Lots of updates that I just went through, but I'll do it again for you guys because I guess you weren't here.

It was only me alone in this room, speaking, always, like always. Okay, first and foremost, you may not notice, but I'm in a different house. We have the set completely disassembled and reassembled in the new house. We have it updated as well. We have the UK, the Ireland, and the Iceland, okay? Because all the white people, all the white people that are not American were like, What about us? You know, say, what about you?

What about you, babe? Oh, fucking asked. I didn't ask. How do Irish people sound? What the fuck? What the fuck? How do Irish people sound? Tertie tree potatoes.

That was probably mildly offensive. I'm sorry. Any Irishman or women or Irish thems watching my podcast. I love you guys. Sorry. But also, it's funny. And Iceland. That little nugget, nugget of glitter is Iceland, where the famous rock band, Calayo is from.

I love Calayo. Now, do not ask me about Oceana, Oceania, Oceania. Oceana? Oceania. Ocea. Oh my God. Oceania. pronunciation.

Why the fuck? Oceanian? No fucking way. That's how it's pronounced. Let me get my, let me get my earpiece. Let me get my earpiece to see what this fuck-ass Google lady's

about to do with her mouth. Oceania? No way it's pronounced Oceania. Just say Oceanna. Just say Oshina. I would like to meet with the director of pronunciations for this. Also, anyone from Oceania, guys, we have got to have a meeting.

It should not be that complicated to say. Anyway, working on that, because I added all these, and then people were like, okay, what about all of the Polynesian islands? And I said, you have a point. You do have a point. I don't even know if New Zealand's on the map. Maybe I don't know what New Zealand looks like. I went to public school. New Zealand.

This feature is annoying. The Google AI, Australia. I have New Zealand. That one's New Zealand, you bitches. I'm not really sure what that is. I could not tell you, oh, is that new Caledonia? Love that place. All right, this isn't a biblically accurate map.

This is the Broski Nation map. All of my cartographers, all of my geographers, died of diarrhea, all right? The only cure for diarrhea is Emotium, and I am holding the stock of Emotium. We have surpassed currency in Brozky Nation, and we now deal in solely emotium and pepto occasionally. So that's kind of where we are, our economy collapsed. We are back to bartering and trading chickens, goats, emodium, pepto, antibiotics.

Ran out of antibiotics a few months ago. So if you get a UTI, you're fucking dead, all right? You are useless to the population. You are not a working woman if you get a UTI. I just had a UTI. That's why it's top of my mind. That shit is ass. That shit sucks. UTIs suck, dude. What do you mean my pee holes infected?

How did I infect my own pee hole? All I did was pee out of it. There is one purpose for the pee hole. I peed out of it. If I had a penis, I'd pee real hard. I'll tell you one thing right now, and I'll take this to my grave. If I had a penis, I'd pee real hard out of it. I just, for one day, One day I wish I had a peener. Oh, I wish I could just pee on anything.

I'd pee on the wall. I'd pee on the floor. I'd pee in a bowl. I'd pee out of the car window. I'd pee on a car. I'd pee on a car. I'd pee on a tire. I would pee real hard on like an ant hill and see what happened.

Anyway, a UTI is crazy. And what's even more crazy is having to go in there and be like, it hurts when I pee. And they're like, okay, how about you pee in this cup? I just told you it hurts my pee. Believe me. Anyway, I'm in a. a new house. I have my own 1920s Spanish style, like Marilyn Monroe, classic Hollywood house.

There's a court yard out front. There's a vegetable garden out back. I'm not going to be touching it. I'll tell you right now. I was touring the house and they were like, full vegetable garden. I said, I won't be using it. What a waste. You guys, I follow Julius Roberts on TikTok, who's that British chef who like used to work in Michelin Star restaurants and fucked off and moved to the English countryside and like fully is self-sustaining. Like he cooks all of his own, he grows all of his own food, keeps his own livestock, like does all this completely self-sufficient farm out in England. And I was like, every time I watch one of his videos, I'm like, I could do that. I could do that. I could just eat a squash, a squash and basil pasta and be content with my life.

Maybe buy a few chickens. But I'm not that person. As much as I would like. to be that person. I'm not that person. All right. I'll eat a hot pocket any day. You want to know what I have for dinner? Popeyes. You want to know why I had diarrhea? Popeyes. You want to know what's in this cup? Popeye's sweet tea. Okay. I think that I'm built different. I am built the same. I am a standard model. If you were at the store and you were looking at like American Barbie dolls, it'd be like, oh, where's the plus size normal one? That one. And I know a lot of you guys are going to to be like, you think you're normal? Listen, this is what I have to say to that.

This is the new Brosky Nation merch. This is the new Brosky Nation uniform. Everyone has to have a normal people scare me t-shirt from Hot Topic, Circa, 2013, and you have to wear only the furry paws, and you have to have the Ariana Grande kitty ears. Dude, do you remember the kitty ears she used to wear on stage? Ariana Grande, kitty ears. just stroked out.

Yes, dude. Oh my God, you have to wear this. You have to wear these. I had this poster on my... I am such an arionator. I don't go to fuck. Okay. So you have to wear these.

You have to wear the lace, cat ears. You have to have the raccoon tail or, honestly, an alternative, a funny, edgy, cool alternative to the wolf tail or the fox tail

that you would put in your pants in high school is a plastic. A platypus tail. A platypus tail is very interesting, and I think a marvel of what evolution can do for a species. So that's actually going to be the current. Oh, and then skinny jeans. But not just normal skinny jeans, the skinny jeans with those ribs in them.

Ribbed skinny jeans. Yeah. These. You have to wear these. Where are those famous ones? God, these are so terrible. Yeah, these dude, these Tony Lopez-ass jeans. Beach Blue Biker Jean.

Okay, so it's this. These jeans, normal people scare me t-shirt, the Orion Grande ears, the fuzzy tail, the furry paws, and then for makeup, you can do whatever you want to do. I'm not really going to dictate with a makeup, but the shoes do have to be those platform, no, not platform, the tombs. You have to wear tombs.

And tombs, okay? So that's actually, if you have any interest in being a resident, full time in Brokegee Nation, you get issued this uniform upon entering this sort of safe haven that Brookesky Nation offers. So getting that out. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

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at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York. So like I said, I moved. I live in my own house now. I'm so... I want to walk around naked. I want to sing at the top of my lungs. I want to play out skits and act out little shows, maladaptive daydreaming in my home.

And I want to be able to talk to myself in my home without people being like, what actually might be wrong with you? What, from a clinical standpoint, could be wrong. And I just don't want to answer that. So I have my house. I'm going to decorate it completely like Western Spanish combination, sort of like very heavy on the cowboy, faux leather, fringe, all of that. Like framed pictures of Marlborough ads and like very sort of

Orville Peck moment, like tasteful cowboy, with some definitely girly pop elements. And then the other sort of blend is going to be the mosaic tile of a classic Spanish home. And it's got the arched doorways and all that. It's white with like the deep

mahogany beams across the, oh my God, it's my dream house. So in the process of decorating that, we move the pocket set in. here so yeah that's kind of the update team on that front now I also redid my YouTube space so be expecting some more high quality YouTube videos I'm just a girl I'm just a baby I don't know I'm just a baby I don't know how to do how to film a video I just I don't know I don't have no money I just sit down from my iPhone film

video. That's how I feel. And Stanley's always like, so did you just like not focus the camera before you filmed or did you intentionally fuck up with the audio to piss me off? And I'm like, I'm just a girl. I'm just a little girl. I don't know what I'm doing. I press record.

I'd be funny. And I send it to you. And he's like, he plots ways to murder me. I know for a fact. I know that he. He has fantasized about my untimely death, probably at least once, maybe twice. But not that often, because I think we're friends. Stanley, I think we're friends.

I think maybe that you like my company and to work on my projects. But time will tell. Okay, what's another update? I gave up caffeine. I gave up caffeine because I saw someone on TikTok do it. I someone on TikTok do it. I said, what? reverse begin. I saw someone on TikTok do it, so I tried it. She said, she listed off all of these

symptoms that I have constantly. I am always tired. No amount of sleep is restful for me. I'm up through the whole night. Like I stay up late and then I have to be up early and so I drink more coffee. It's just this constant like high and crash and high and crash and high and crash. And then in the middle of all that, you know, like if coffee's not doing it, then I drink a Red Bull or I have a Coke or whatever. And so she listed off all these symptoms of, you know, like it honestly borderlines depression, like the sort of clinical definition of depression of I really don't have motivation to do anything. And I have to force myself through overconsumption of caffeine to sort of get to this level where I'm literally tweaking for me to sit down and be able to film a YouTube

video or a podcast video. Like for a second there, it did not bring me joy. And then, uh, I was like, fuck all this. And so I stopped. I stopped drinking coffee. The first two days were kind of rough. And then after that, like I found and then I went to Florida. So that was, it's two hours ahead. And so when I came back to L.A., I was waking up a little bit earlier. And then for like a week straight consistently, my body was like, 8 a.m., you're up. Get up. And like I wouldn't go back to sleep and I would get up and I'd do stuff. And I was like, this is crazy. because on coffee I would

I don't know just something something happened in my brain okay something like there's little monsters or something like

insects or bugs in my brain they get in there and they dig around and they were like chewing on the wires or something and then in the middle of the night

one night I said and then I woke up the next morning I said oh my God I can see clearly now the rain is gone

I can see see all obstacles in my way. Oh my God, someone needs to do a bluegrass cover of that song. After the, what are the words? I can see clearly now. Jimmy Cliff. It's going to be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiney day. That with some like pedal steel and a banjo under it.

Oh, get into it, dude. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

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Country music. I have a lot to talk about. And I just briefly got into this on the last time that I recorded this. So I'll, I have no problem really diving into it again for you guys. Because of course, this is like Squidward's episode, the lost episode of SpongeBob that I'm referring to. Because only I know about it and it's lost to the archives forever. Because guess what? It didn't record the audio.

And also the cameras cut off. So here's my deal with the current state of country music. So I know a lot of y'all are country fans. And if you're not, listen, you might learn something, okay? Or at least have an interesting perspective on kind of what's happening in pop culture right now on that side of things. Country music gets a very, very bad rap for obviously being culturally more aligned with the right wing, for targeting sort of conservative Christian southern values, naturally. But what a lot of people don't know is that this is, it's not always been this way.

If you're sort of a fringe listener of country music, you know, you may know a George Strait song or you may know a John Denver song, that sort of thing. And you don't really know a lot about the origins of a. American country and Western or American folk music and how it ties back to, you know, Scottish and Irish folk songs. That's a longstanding history. But mainly, I want to talk about in the last 25 odd years, there was a major shift in the 90s to the early 2000s. And of course, the sort of life-altering thing that happened was 9-11.

country music really, really changed, like, after 9-11. And it used to be, you know, when you think of like Johnny Cash or Marty Robbins or any of these really famous country singers, their songs were all about like shooting the sheriff and like anti-establishments. And Johnny Cash used to go perform at prisons because he was so like leftist and so anti-government. And like, I just, he wore all black to represent. I wish I'm going to butcher how he explained this. But at the beginning of one of his live versions of his songs, he goes into detail about how he wears black because there is no color in a world that treads on minorities and on oppressed populations.

And so for that reason, he has. has a lack of color, and he will wear black to represent that. And how do we go from a cultural icon like that, who was so socially plugged in, you know, who is plugged in with the people and his anti-establishment, to where are we at right now? Luke Combs? You know, Morgan Wallin, this sort of music that's like,

if you don't like it, get the fuck out. Like really, really, incredibly almost over. overly patriotic. And to a certain extent, I do understand. And I never, ever want to come off as insensitive to obviously 9-11. I mean, I know online people are free-flowing with the jokes. But at its core, of course, it's an unimaginable tragedy. I definitely understand this pendulum swing to the right, quote-unquote, of, you know, patriotism.

And we're going to make this the focus of our music because it was a unifying event. When there's an attack on America, Americans do not, for a second, for a heartbeat, want to fight with each other. It's a unified enemy, right? I've talked about this before with fucking World War propaganda and all this. Like, for a second, the easiest thing to pump out and sell to the American populace is a patriotic country song. Because it's something, for the most part, a lot of people agree with, you know? Having freedom is great. But it's like, it's to this.

level that's so cringy and embarrassing. And like, you have lost touch with actually what people want to hear you sing about. Because if you're tone deaf in that sense of you are not able to critique the country in which you live, you are not able to be critical of your politicians and your representatives and what's going on in America, I wouldn't say there's like one common enemy right now. We're not in fucking World War III. Like, there are serious problems at home that I don't think should be celebrated with patriotic songs right now. So when things like Jason Aldeens, whatever, try that in a small town, when that happens and people are actively calling out the lyricism and how it's racist and it is really disturbing and scary imagery and ideas that these

songs are promoting. And then he comes out and acts like he's none the wiser. He didn't know. Yeah, you fucking know. You are well aware of what is happening in America today. You cannot make songs like that and expect there not to be consequences. It's just that shit. How from like country music of the 1950s and 60s that was so an excuse this, lack of a better word, woke and critical of the society and time in which that music. was being created to now where it feels like we have the internet and we have the world at our fingertips we have any bit of information or misinformation you could ever hope to find and this is where we've landed it's just so infuriating it's also i think a real hit to the legacy of country

music it is dishonoring the art form and the genre of country music and there are a few people today that i think are are part of this sort of revocation that's happening of like a return to traditional bluegrass country music or country folk and it's abandoning

the sort of pop country I fuck my truck and if you don't like it you kiss my ass my pronouns are USA it's abandoning that this sort of fuck mud light woke light

and it's turning more towards cowboy songs. And I think it is so important. Obviously, I'll talk about Orville Pectal on Blue in the Fucking Face, but it's people like him who are reinventing what country music is and can be. It's a return to tradition, but with an honor and a duty to sing about the shit that matters and to sing about the shit that he's lived through as a gay country artist. Are you joking?

Like what a, and he talks about this all the time and I think it's just, so artistically it's one of those things that just clicks that's like yes yes and if you didn't do it someone else is going to do it because it's fucking brilliant and i'm so glad he did it of country music is about outlaws original like outlaw country about living on the fringes and as a cowboy and never feeling like you belong in a in a social setting or whatever you're an outlaw you're an outcast so much of those emotions can also be applied to growing up gay, growing up in the closet, growing up on any sort of fringe of society where society pushes you out there, there is a community within that outlaw country music where I can stand alone, but I'd prefer not to.

I think that that is such a smart artistic connection and I just love him. And it's so important today to have that representation in, quite frankly, a genre that is just inundated with garbage. Just garbage. The music is bad. There are some songs. I'm like, okay, fine. Okay. The kind of love we make by Luke Combs, fine.

That's a good song. Okay, whatever. But I didn't say that. And if you ever say that I said that, I didn't because no, I did not. But for the most part, you know, it's just pump and dump garbage country songs. there are a few artists and if you're interested, I have a list and I have some my favorite songs by them that are really doing country music and honor or are really doing country music a service and they're honoring the roots of country. However, I always want to tell you to take what I say with a grain of salt because as we know, things online do not age well usually. You can like someone one day and think they're doing everything right,

and then something comes out, whether it's real or made up, because people don't care to tell the difference. And suddenly that person is spoiled for the rest of time. All the people I'm about to talk about are white men. And I fully recognize that. And I also understand that as musicians, you know, I don't know, I don't know personal things about these people. I know their music, and I respect what they're doing with their music.

but, you know, I just want that because people online are fucking stupid. I feel like HRH collection. What I'm saying right now could change, okay? People change. Things happen. Life happens. And if something comes out about these artists in the future, I'm going to be so, so disappointed. But it's, it's, they're people.

And I just am saying that I'm aware of that. Okay. So with that being said, don't put them on too high of a pedestal right now, even though I'm sort of giving them their flowers right now. Number one, obviously, is Tyler Childers. Tyler Childers is just doing it. He is fucking doing it. First of all, he's got an incredible voice.

His lyrics are insane. His music is tongue in cheek and yodely and scratchy and grainy and live. He's incredible. And he is just really honoring. You can tell he grew up with. the classics and I think it's a really great thing. He also just released a music video about a gay couple. I'm pretty sure. Let's read the specifics. Why Tyler Childers, this is a Rolling Stone article. Why Tyler Childers put a gay love story in his new video. The video

stars Colton Haynes and James Scully along with writer Silas House talk about the LGBTQ Q representation and Childers song in your love. It really does mean a lot. I mean, like, who the fuck? Like, he did this knowing damn well what the response would be. And how upsetting is that? You know, that he probably felt it on his heart to do this. And it's similar to hosier in the sense of,

because if you can, why don't you? If you have a platform and you have people's ear, you have their attention, how dare you not? How dare you not sing about things that matter? How dare you not show things that are hard to watch for some people and hard to embrace for more people? How dare you not do that?

It is a service, it is a responsibility that you have. And I really, I mean, this came out and I was like, yes, Tyler Childers, yes, you motherfucker. I love him, dude. Songs I would recommend by him. House Fire is one of my favorites. Shake the Frost is great. Charleston Girl.

He's got a song with the next guy I'm about to talk about Coulter Wall called Fraule. Oh my God. I love that song. He's just fantastic. I mean, he's got a whole album of, I would listen to Tyler Childers Live. The live versions of his songs are absolutely incredible.

And yeah, he's really doing it. He's part of that small minority that's like, wow. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

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With 24 shades, you can correct, highlight, or sculpt. From a subtle brow lift to defining your pout. This is the multitasker that keeps up with you. The best part, the formula delivers flawless results for up to 16 hours with crease-resistant, lightweight wear. Instant eraser won't settle into fine lines and stays smooth, breathable, and hydrating. No cakey vibes here.

Just a natural, skin-like finish that looks fresh from morning coffees to late night RSVPs. Mabeline Instant Eracer. Find your shade of instant eraser concealer at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York. For yourself. Next is Coulter Wall. Now, Coulter Wall is like truly,

I discovered him because I was listening to, I think, John Denver. I was having a mental breakdown. about two years ago. I was having a freak out. Like absolute spiral. What am I doing with my life? I can't do this. Like I'm imposter syndrome to the core.

And I was like, I'm going to take a retreat. And I told my team, fuck off. Don't talk to me. I told everyone don't talk to me. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb for five days straight. And I used it as an iPod, essentially. And I drove from Hollywood to, um, Ida Wild, which is where Dolly Parton's got her little cabin home.

And it's about two hours outside of L.A. And it's just, it's mountains. It is, it is the mountains. And it was kind of snowy because I think I went in like February. And I drove up to this little cabin that I rented on Airbnb. And they didn't have a TV. They didn't have a microwave. And I brought a bunch of groceries and I stayed hold up in this cabin for five days

until I got bored to tears. And I was listening to the. They had a little record player, and they had John Denver records. And I was like, oh, I love John Denver. And so I was listening to John Denver, and I was like, there was one song in my head that I was like, they don't have this on a record. And so I went on Spotify and I found it. And then it started shuffling music after that. And Colter Wall came on.

And there's this song, Cowpoke by Coulter Wall. And I was like, this sounds like an old guy. I've never heard of him. He must be an old, like from the 60s country music star. Girl, he's like 30-something. He's like current. Coulterwall, he is 28. No shit, he's 28.

Where's he from? He's Canadian. Coulter Wall is a Canadian singer, songwriter, and musician. Known for his deep, gruff baritone, and narrative songwriting, Wall's music encompasses country, folk, and western styles. I know that's right.

His self-titled debut album was released in 2017 and his second album Songs of the Plains in October 2018. sleeping on the blacktop is another one and the devil wears a suit and tie are three of his biggest songs Coulter Wall is doing it like no one else bitch I'm gonna play a clip of him performing live

so hopefully that YouTube doesn't snipe me because I just need y'all to hear Reverend Reverend please come quick so I got something to admit What are we talking about, man? Where does that come from?

He probably weighs 110 pounds soaking wet. I could throw him in the pool and yank him up by his shoulders, and he would weigh half, half of me. Oh my God. Where does that voice come from? I love Culture Wall. All of his music is fantastic. He's got that song with Tyler Childers called Frawline that literally brings me to tears.

I love him. wait to see what he does. Like what a talent. And he also like ranches on the side. Like he'll go on tour and then he'll fuck off for six months and his management can't get in contact with him because he's off on the ranch. He's like working with his hands. I need him.

Cultural wall, I don't always look like this. Okay? You just wait till I'll be a backwoods Barbie. You just wait. Okay? I'm going to go on Ozempic. Which y'all said on the last episode or two episodes ago when I was talking about Matt Damon and Oppenheimer.

And I just went on this whole like spiel about Barbie how like you shouldn't have to change yourself and it's the patriarchy and like my body is keeping me alive. How dare you say that it's a commodity like all this shit? And then 20 seconds later I was like, I'll get gastric bypass for Matt Damon. I'll get the gastric sleeve if that meant Matt Damon looked at me for 30 seconds. If Matt Damon gave me the up down. Like I, that was, y'all were like, period. So I think that when I go on Ozzympic.

When I lose about 70 to 80 pounds, I start wearing wigs full time. I'm going to get that. What did Ariana Grande get get? What did Ariana Grande? Where she had her, like, chin fat shaved off. I'm going to get that done. I'm going to have a spray tan. I'm going to get lashes.

I'm going to get teeth whiter. And then also lip filler. Culture wall, then, then you let me know. Okay. Now I'm not going to come work the field with you. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to be out there picking corn. I got a vegetable garden out here.

I can't even take care of. Okay. I'm not doing that. And I probably won't cook for you. either, but I'll make you giggle and I'll make us money. Culture wall, you sing your heart out, baby. I'm going to make us, and I'm going to bring home that fucking bread. I will provide for you and me.

This is a family unit, and I swear to God, I will put money and bread on the table. So help me, God. I need him so bad. He is so cute. But not even that. I thought he was a 75-year-old man from that fucking voice he's got. Look at him's apple. Christ.

I really, really have a deep respect for what he's doing artistically. And I cannot, I am such a fan of his. Now next, Zach Bryan, another white man, you guessed it. Zach Brian, like, quickly shot up the charts. And I will admit, I'm, he's not my favorite. Maybe I just haven't given him enough of a try. something in the orange is a fantastic song. Like cried, cried.

And then Nile Horan covered it? Hey, what are we doing? Nile Horan is a country star. Nile Horan is a country Barbie. That's crazy. Can Nile Horan die his hair blonde again? We're bored. We're bored.

We miss blonde Nile. Give us blonde Nile. Yeah. Zach Ryan, he's got a serious, serious fan base. And I think it's deserved. I mean, he's very talented. I just like, if it's between Tyler Coulter or Zach, I'm probably listening to Coulter, to be honest. But I'm excited for him.

He's kind of part of this whole revival that's happening of this return to just acoustic, good fucking songwriting. And that's not to say, you know, I love Midland, the country band. I do love some Luke Come songs. But these people like, you know, Dan and Shea, or who Thomas Wrett, like Luke Bryan, all these country singers where it's like, what's special about the music you're making? What is special?

What are you bringing to the table that's never been done before? And in an industry in a genre that is inundated and ran by white, straight men, you don't have to bring something new to the table. And that's what, oh, I could ring somebody's fucking neck. You don't have to be extraordinary. You don't have to be reinventing the genre.

You don't have to be on the cusp of innovation. You can just be, and that's enough. But for anyone who is not a straight white man, you have to bring something to this genre that has never, ever been seen before, or no one's done it like you. And there are very few people I can think of that are straight white men that do do that.

Chris Stapleton's one of them, where it's like, oh my God, no one is doing it like Chris Stapleton. No one's got a voice like him. No one can play like him. No one can bring an audience like him. But, you know, that's like sort of once in a lifetime talent. And the rest of them is just like, it's so fucking easy.

You'll have it so easy. Also, while all this is happening, I don't really know how to fit her into it, but Megan Moroni's on the rise. Megan Moroni's another country star who, she's got some good songs. I like Tennessee Orange. Is it about Morgan Wallen? I don't know. There's tea in the country music community, bitch.

Everybody's sucking and fucking on each other. And when is it my turn? When are y'all going to invite me into that circle? When do I get my liberal country boyfriend? Hit me up. I'm telling you, I don't always look like this. I don't always look like this. I can be cute.

Oh, and then speaking of Chris Stapleton, the steel drivers is a band that is a bluegrass band, and you'll never guess whose bluegrass band it is. Chris Stapleton. From probably about 2008, he had a bluegrass band, band called the steel drivers that i'm not joking bitch is some of my favorite music on this

planet they've got an album and i can't remember what it's called because i only listen to the songs off that i've never steel drivers it's whatever blue side of the mountains on steel drivers yeah it's called the steel drivers oh my god blue side of the mountain drinking dark whiskey midnight trade to memphis if you can't be good be gone to be with a heaven scent what y'all need to get into the steel drivers. These songs are so good. And if you don't like bluegrass, grow up. Okay? If you don't like bluegrass, get on with it. You like Mumford and Sons. You like the fleet foxes. You like bluegrass. You need to return to tradition. This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

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Find your shade of Instant Eracer concealer at your local retailer. Mabelene, New York. So that's sort of my spiel on country music is that I'm very upset and angered by the state of country music today, but there's something really cool happening in the underbelly. that's a sort of direct resistance to the mainstream pop country, because that dominates the charts. But it's also cool to see Tyler Childers and Zach Bryan really up there. Like, that's really, really neat.

Waiting on Orville Peck to get his number one. Waiting on Orville Peck to get a number one. Please. Because you bitches, you bitches are homophobic. And that's really all it is. There's really nothing else to say. There is a reason why he's not number one. It's not for lack of skill.

It's not for lack of talent. It's not for lack of voice. It's not for lack of connection. Because you bitches are scared. Anyway, I've got to go to a ranch. Okay, here's my plan that I'm concocting right now. So give me your feedback on it to find myself a cowboy. Because at this point, as long as they're alive, that's pretty much, you know, they could have a beard.

A beard would be really nice, actually. And a cowboy hat may have to be taller than me. actually I have a lot of, I have a lot of descriptors that I wouldn't settle. But in theory, I would settle, but in reality I wouldn't. I'm going to,

she's the man, Amanda Binds myself. I'm going to mule on myself and dress up as a man and go work as a ranch hand. And then I'm going to, okay, so I'm going to buzz my head,

and then I'm going to, like, wear those button-ups and like really tight-fitting jeans and boots or whatever. And then one day I'm going to be working on the field and they're going to be like,

Who's this fucking dude? Brody. This is Brody Brody. And I would show up and be like, Hey y'all. How y'all doing? Or whatever. Okay?

I just like won't pluck my mustache for a few days. It'll be a full grown beard. I'm going to lean down as I'm like trying to haul hay or something. And my voluptuous busty breasts are going to pop out of my pearl snap. And they're going to go crazy. They're going to lose it. They're going to say, it's a woman.

And then I'm going to rip my bald cap off. And I'm going to shake. my hair and they're going to be like, and she's hot! It's literally going to be like a nerdy girl takes off the glasses and she's suddenly beautiful. That's going to be me when my big tits bust out of my pearls. And then all of them realize they're in love with me. And then I say, are you liberal? And they say, I don't know.

And I say, I can change that. And then I sit down with them for 30 minutes and I give them the spiel of their lives and they listen and they learn. And then I'm like, I can work with this. I need a man who is made out of Plato. A man I can mold and shape and friend. Give him a slutty little waist and like a Dorito body with he's got the big broad shoulders,

but a slutty little tiny waist. I just need some Play-Doh. I need to be, I think, stuck in a cage and muzzled and be given Plato to play with. Maybe a vibrator. Just like some pottery, I can like make a man. Or a poster board. I can just draw on it.

I just need to do some arts and crafts alone by myself, probably, is what is sounding like the best remedy here. Anyway, that's my plan. I'm going to snag a man because I'm going to be in drag. I'm going to be in boy drag. And I'm going to go work on a ranch. My big busty ariolas are going to pop out in the shirt. And they're going to be so turned on that they have to come home with me.

This is literally my plan. You all understand my plan. Please, God. I still need to read that book, that book about, what's it called? That cowboy romance from a few episodes ago, whatever it was called. I added it to my good reads,

but I haven't read it yet. Because I'm trying to get through fucking Tower of Dawn. I'm actually reading Tower of Dawn now. I took a moment and I paused because I was like, you're going to have to kill me before I read this book.

And then I was like, you know what? I actually do want to know what happens. So I sat down and I read about 100 pages. It's not that bad. Fine, you bitches were right. but it's still like 700 pages. So it's like, I bought all eight books in the Throne of Glass series together,

and I'm on book seven, and I'm only 60% way through the entire series. I'm on the seventh book, and I'm only 60% of the way through the series. That's fucked, because the last two books are 1,400 pages, total. That's more words than the Bible.

I just lied. I don't know. I just made that up. That's actually more words than the Declaration of Independence. Now that's true, I think. How many words are in the Declaration of Independence? Declaration of Independence is only 1,300 words!

How many words are in the Bible? Oh. 773,000 words. Okay, what was that? 173,000. Remember that? How many words are in Throne of Glass series. A million and 80,000 words. It does have more wasting the Bible. It's going to fucking true. I can't read the Bible front to back, but you bet your sweet ass I'll read Throne of Glass.

Wow, that's crazy. What is the longest book called? Alarrechercherche du ton perdu. By Marcel Proust contains an estimated nine million characters. Spaces are also counted. The title translates to remembrance of things past. That doesn't answer my question. That's characters.

Yeah, that's got the Guinness World record. Alirecher de ton that's crazy. What is the longest? Now we're just Googling stuff. What is the longest word in the English language? Oh, fuck off.

The longest word in any of the major English language dictionaries is. It's 45 letters long. And it's a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles. Specifically from a volcano. Okay.

pneumono ultramacroscopic silicovolcano silicovolcano coniosis pneumonolromiscopic silica volcanocanopis now that's just stupid anti disestablishmentarianism remember when that was a thing anti disestablishmentarianism definition. Opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England. Seems oddly specific. All right, back to what I wanted to talk about. I feel like I've already ranted enough.

I had this whole rant that I guess I'll do for next episode on is art self-serving. And I will talk about this for 30 plus minutes on the next episode. Or I can just do it right now. This episode is 48 minutes. so far. No, I'll save it for the next episode. Right now I want to talk about Halloween. I want to talk about how every year, every year, people make fun of Christian girl autumn, but you want to know something, dude? I was that girl. I was, let me pull it up. This dude, every year people make

fun of this girl, but guess what? This was me in college. This is the like ideal, this is a woman. This is a woman in her final form. You got to get them knee-high, suede camel boots, that dumbass fucking Farrell hat, and the cardigan. Wow, and the dumb beanies. And the, what's it called? Those half beach waves. They're like a little too curly to be beachwaves.

I love that we're returning to this mindset of, I am exactly like other girls. I am exactly like other girls. Like, I'm not any different. I love this too. I love a cardigan. I love a cardigan and a nice boot and a skinny jean sometimes if you're wearing boots. I love going to Target during Halloween season.

I love going to T.J. Max. I love going to Ross. I love spending money on Halloween decorations. I am just like every other girl. It's the small joys in life and don't you ever try to take that from me by telling me that I'm just like other girls. You bet your sweet ass I am, brother.

I want a cute little ghost cookie dispenser. I want a cute little ceramic ghost that you take the head off and you can put chocolates inside. That's one of the simple joys of being an adult. I want to put Andy's Mints and a ceramic pumpkin And then I want to shove it up my ass. I love Halloween.

I want to put those gummy little sticky bats on the glass on my window. I want to hang orange and purple lights in my house. I want to watch Nightmare before Christmas. I want to eat a pumpkin cookie. I want a pumpkin spice latte. I want to smell a pumpkin candle so strong it burns the inside of my nose. I want to chew on a sick of cinnamon. I love the fall.

I love Halloween. And I don't care who knows it. And you know what else? I always think that I'm one of those girls that's like, what's that aesthetic called? It's like cottage core kind of, but it's also gothic. But it's not like horror gothic.

It's more like, ooh, like spooky like cobweb tattoos, but they also have a tattoo of Jack Skellington. I think it's called Wimsygoth. Wimsygoth. I love that. I always go in and out of that. Like I'm very attracted. to that aesthetic and that sort of like every time I see someone's house who's decorated Wimzegoth on

TikTok, I like sort of drooling. I love that. And so much of it overlaps with like the Stevie Nix sort of, you know, witchy aesthetic, which is just so cute. I love being a girl. Wimzegoth is so sleigh. And I love the people who have those like spider web elbow tattoos. It's just so cool. And when you decorate your house correctly with it where it's almost like Victorian inspired. It's just this sort of touch of a cult, but in a tasteful way. I'm obsessed with it. I love it. If that's you, keep it up.

And don't be afraid to commit to the bit because I love seeing what you bitches come up with. I live through you because I'm much more like I'll actually decorate my house Western. You know, like it's got to be. It's got to be. I don't have another choice. But you bitches who do the whimsigoths so well, please keep posting videos and house tours and room tours because I eat it up every single time. And then my last point is I have a new favorite TikToker. My new favorite TikToker, her at is greasy busy, greasy busy.

Let me go ahead and pull this up. Last night, yo, to everyone that said I wasn't going to just get one drink, you are fucking right. Because my date was a fucking loser. Loser! She's my Alex Earl. Like, I don't care. There's one video, I can't find it. I just scrolled for like 10 minutes.

There's this video for her jumping. And she goes, I'm like, going to the club tonight. And she does this and her boobs bounce. And she goes, chill, chill. She's my Alex Earl. I literally like wait by the phone for her to post TikToks. I love her. She is a party girl.

She does not know when to stop. And I think it's so admirable. Anyway, love her. Get into Greasy Bussy. I wish I knew her real name. What's her real name? Greasy. I don't know.

Love you. Love you, Greasy. Let's go out sometime. I don't know where your base would love to meet up. Okay, guys, that'll kind of do it for me. I don't even know what the fuck I talked about this episode. Ranted about country music. And I will rant about art and how I think art is self-serving,

but it also serves the masses and which is more important and which is worse. And does it always lead to the eventual ruin of the artist? I will talk about that on tomorrow's. Not tomorrow. Next week's episode. But I think that'll do it for me today. I love you guys very much. And thank you for listening to the vexing soundest.

of my voice and looking at the shine on my forehead. I love you very much. Royal Court comes out August 24th. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. Subscribe to this YouTube channel, the Broccoli Report YouTube channel, and new episodes every Tuesday. Love you guys.

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