The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 18: I am SICK of the Beyoncé disrespect

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski revisits the Great Spotify Battle of 2020 (Joe Rogan vs. Neil Young), unpacks her love for Beyoncé, inaugurates John Krasinski in Jack Ryan as a white boy of the month, and discusses slime ASMR. Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport  Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski  https://instagram.com/brittany_broski  https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt  Brought To You By: Zocdoc – https://zocdoc.com/broski Tinder SONGS OF THE WEEK: White House Road (Live) by Tyler Childers All Up In Your Mind by Beyoncé  Ohio by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brozky. Hey guys, welcome back to The Brozky Report, starring me, Brittany Brozky, and I am actually going to be the host of the Brozky Report. That's actually how that's going to clock out. Long time no chat, guys. It's been a whole seven days. Wow. So much can happen in a week, in a Christian week. In just seven days, you can be a different person, okay?

I'm not, but you guys might be. Okay, some things to address quickly off the top of my head. Some of you guys mentioned that Kylo Rain and Mandelorian were not kissing last episode. So let me go ahead and fix that on the table. Now, caution, president at work. Also, caution, two men kissing, okay? Caution, if that bothers you. Just a kind of trigger warning.

Gay. Gay things were happening on the table, so just want to give a heads up about that. Okay. I need to start off with the top three songs because I forget it every single time, every single episode at the very end. I'm like, oh yeah, music. One of the things that keeps me alive. I forget to talk about it. I forget to talk. Owen Wilson impression. Okay, okay, so let's talk. Oh, okay, so we're not talking about it. I don't know who, I don't know what cinematic universe that Owen Wilson is in, but that was a pretty good impression. Okay, that was good.

Mator. That was just my voice. Mater. Okay. Top three songs are as follows. Number one, White House Road by Tyler Childers, live version, live. Okay, make sure to listen to Tyler Childers live because he's better live. He's similar to Rosalia in that way.

I'm also sorry, I just had goldfish, and so it kind of, sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. So if you hear me ain't kind of gummy, if I'm kind of gummy and slip slopping and smacking today, it's because my gums are dried out. I've also been doing this new thing where I sleep with the fan directly on my face and I wake up like jerky. Kind of similar to human jerky, if you could imagine that. Just completely dried out, just meat, salty, dried out human meat. I am human jerky when I sleep in front of the fan. Also, it's kind of like my eyes won't really open all the way because they're sandpapered shut and then my mouth, my throat down to like my lungs is just dried out.

But damn, you got to sleep with the fan on. Damn, you got to sleep with that fan on y'all. I'm telling you, I don't know how. I cannot sleep unless there is a draft on my legs. I don't know what to tell you, dude. I can't sleep with socks on. I can't sleep with pants on. I have got to have my legs to the wind, as God intended.

Okay. That's why, hey, nightgowns, you never hear about night pants in the olden days. No one was sleeping in night pants. They were sleeping in nightgowns, okay? Anyway, White House Road by Tyler Childers. Number two, and I'll get into this in a little more detail in a second, but all up in your mind by Beyonce. Now, let me sort of just pause. Pause for a fucking minute.

When Renaissance came out, okay? When Renaissance came out, I said, my favorite song is All Up in Your Mind. And people are like, that's asleep. Like, no one cares about that one. Like, that's kind of a flop. That's whatever. That's a skip. That's a skip.

First of all, no skips on Renaissance. Second of all, all up in your mind is a hidden gym because everyone was so busy with pure honey and cozy and cuff it and break your soul and whatever. All those songs are fantastic. All up in your mind, bitch. It's the standout. You know I'm a fucking problem. Are you joking?

And then she sold merch with her on the horse and then a red square around her face that says problem. Fuck off. I love Beyonce. I love Beyonce. I have a four tattoo. It's her lucky number right there. I love Beyonce, dude. Okay, so I'll get more into Beyonce in a second.

But that's number two. All up in your mind. And number three is Ohio by Crosby Still's Nash and Young. I've been on this kind of like steely day. and um, hollow notes kick recently. I, I enter it about every,

you know, four to five months where I'm like, damn, this is just so good music. John Denver, Crosby stills, Nash and Young,

it's like, I'll put on a playlist or I'll start with one song and then I'll let Spotify kind of take the reins. I'll let Spotify, whoa! Whoa!

Spotify takes the reins and I'm like, whoa, Nelly. Who's Nellie? Well, Nellie. Where did it? it come from. The Roy Rogers Show, 1951 and 1957. Pat Brady's horse was Phineas. The phrase, Wo Nelly, originated with Pat Brady. Nelly was short for Nelly Bell, the name of his cantankerish

Jeep. Hey, the more you know. Okay. Oh my God. I saw this TikTok the other day of this girl talking about how Bugs Bunny saying, what's up, Doc, was, it's been lost to, like, comedy history that Bugs Bunny was a caricature of, and I can't forget, I can't remember the fucking actor's name. Bugs Bunny was a caricature of what actor? Edward G. Robinson. And there were a couple others, too. Bugs Bunny is voiced by Eric Bousa, who is also the current voice of Daffy Duck and Tweedy. Oh my God, that happens more often than you would think.

Voice actors, voice like a lot of famous characters and you never know it's the same person. That's crazy. According to Chuck Jones, the creator of Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny is a cross between Dorothy Parker and Errol Flynn. He puts up a fight only when provoked, never goes looking for trouble. Okay, so, Edward G. Robinson. Look him up. Now look here, say, say.

He was born in 1893, crazy. Edward G. Robinson was a Romanian-American actor of stage and screen, who was popular during Hollywood's Golden Age. He appeared in 30 Broadway plays and more than 100 films during a 50-year career, and is best remembered for his tough guy roles as gangst Okay, what was I actually what in the world was I talking about? This is going to be impossible.

Oh, how Bugs Bunny was a caricature of this actor or a bunch of different actors of the time. The sort of like, yeah, see, look around. Say, what's up, Doc? Like that sort of thing. But now we associate that phrase so closely with Bugs Bunny that we don't even remember the actor that Bugs Bunny is supposed to be a caricature of. And that sort of thing is exactly what I was talking about with Wonelli of like, I know Wonelli as like, you're writing a horse and you're telling the horse to calm down. I didn't realize that was a reference to a TV show from the 50s, dude.

How many things do you think? I'd like to see a list of things like that of like things that have become vernacular and common sort of everyone knows what it means, but you don't know where it comes from that have to do with pop culture that is not ours. You know what I mean? Like not of our time. And not only is it not of our time, but it's so old that you don't even know what it is. That's crazy. Because you can reference stuff from, you know, TV shows from the 80s and 90s and even 70s. And most often if it was really popular, like you could clock it, you know.

But the 50s, that's like the beginning of modern television. Like that's the late 40s, early 50s is really when like Twilight Zone and all that, these TV shows that were groundbreaking and really, like, like the thought of a serial show that you could keep watching. There were new episodes, you know, every week, every month, whatever. Like, what a crazy thing to have been lost to the annuals of history almost. Not lost, but when it comes to pop culture and relevancy, you know, there are certain things that will always be relevant, like Star Wars or Indiana Jones, you know, some of these like

classic cult following movies, but TV shows is crazy. And it also makes me sad maybe a little bit that we don't. Remember, fuck me, what I'm talking about? Oh, Ohio by Crosby Stills, Nash and Young. How did I start talking about Bugs Bunny? Ohio's a great song, okay? And there's T there for the classic rock girls. I don't know.

If someone could actually explain it to me, because I'm not going to Google it, I don't care that much. Of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, Neil Young, on Spotify, it's only listed as Crosby Stills and Nash, because Neil Young had like a diva moment or something like that, and he broke off for a little bit, and then maybe he came back. I don't know, but Ohio isn't on Spotify, or it used to be, and then they took it off.

Maybe this is an ongoing thing. I don't know if Neil Young's, like, still in his diva era, if he's like floppiana or if he's back. Did Neil Young leave Spotify? The singer decided to leave the streaming service because it gives a platform to Joe Rogan. Oh, shit. Okay, me.

Spotify is removing Neil Young songs after he complains of misinformation. The singer decided to leave the streaming service because it gives a platform to Joe Rogan whom scientists have accused of promoting falsehoods about the coronavirus vaccine. This is tea. Neil Young wasn't bluffing.

Spotify said on Wednesday that it had begun removing the singer and songwriter's music from the streaming service two days after he briefly posted a public letter, calling on Spotify to choose between him and Joe Rogan. Holy shit! Neil Young versus Joe Rogan TikTok boxing match.

Bryce Hall officiates. The star podcast host who has been accused of spreading misinformation about the coronavirus and vaccines. Young's challenge to Spotify has become a high profile if unexpected flashpoint in the battle over misinformation

and free speech online. It also raised questions about the power of performing artists to control where their work is heard, period. In a statement posted to his website on Wednesday, Young called Spotify, the home of life-threatening COVID misinformation. He added lies being sold for money.

That is great good for Neil Young. Damn, but that sucks. I want to listen to Ohio. Sorry, I'm like picking the matted hair from the back of my neck. If you hear some disturbing sounds coming from my sort of neck region, my knuckle region. Okay, so Neil Young is in his diva woke, woke liberal era, period for Neil Young. Anyway, that's a great song. Ohio is a fantastic song.

I love that song. I wonder if he's if he's back on, I think on Spotify, it's still, Crosby stills. Nash and Young. Oh, my God, I lie. Oh, no. This is a cover band that did this. Yeah, look, old man with a heart of gold under a harvest moon. Neil Young, we miss streaming you.

That's what the name of this album is. And it's a cover band that did Ohio. So I listen to that sometimes. Our house is a very, very, very fine house. I love them. Okay. There's so many things to talk about. I don't know where I want to start.

You know what? I'm going to start with Beyonce, because naturally. This is for the core broskey nation, I feel like. If you know me and you know my spirit and my soul and my story, you know that I am beehive to my fucking core. And it's similar to Harry in a certain sense, but it's also not there. Absolutely completely different roles in my life

and in my sort of musical admiration. I admire them for very different reasons, and they've impacted me in very different ways. When it comes to Harry, Harry is someone that, like, He has influenced my way of viewing the world and viewing life and other people and myself and just having everything be coated in this rosy sheen of kindness because it's so easy to not be kind. You know, that's the default, I feel like, is to not be kind, especially online, especially in a post-COVID world. You know, we're all on edge and we're all fearful of each other and living in fear and living in paranoia.

the Tree People with Kindness mantra really helps with that, I think. And it helped with that way before COVID was even, you know, in the sphere of understanding for a lot of people. Like for me, Tree People with Kindness has always been, it seems so simple and so like, yeah, duh. But in moments where it's not easy to be the bigger person or you want to say something so bad, but, you know, consider the consequences of saying that, he really, really, really has helped me, but be the best, best version of myself in those situations. And those little moments make up your larger life. And in that sense, Harry has really, you know, taught me how to be a better person. And I don't give a fuck if that sounds cringy, dude, because try to look up a video of Harry Styles being a diva on YouTube. They don't exist. And if you find a video that has that title, it's a joke. There is not a bad word, a bad video about him online. and what an incredible, what an incredible feat, to be honest. I mean, people are not going to like him for, you know, whatever reason they choose.

But at the end of the day, there's not a real, tangible thing that he's ever said or been mean. Or, you know what I mean? It's like, that's just so inspiring to me. And it's really helped me navigate sort of having a platform because what a strange thing. And I could have gotten myself into a lot of trouble if I, you know, let what people say to me online if I were to bite back at every single thing. You know, Harry kind of helps me remember, like, you don't have to do that. You know, why would you actively choose to speak negativity or, or criticism or hate into the

world when you have the choice to do something positive? And so Harry has affected me in that way. And also his music, I love his music. But I listen to his music in a different way than I listen to. Beyonce's music. Beyonce has been a fixture in my life for as long as I would say One Direction has, honest to God. I discovered the I Am World Tour.

Like I knew Beyonce, right? Everyone knows like Destiny's Child and all that. But I discovered the I Am World Tour 2012, probably about, I was like a sophomore freshman in high school. I used to watch music videos on Vivo. Throw back to Vivo, dude. And I was probably watching One Direction or something like that. And on autoplay came on Beyonce singing I Care live at Roseland.

And it auto played and I was like, oh my God, she looks so good. I was like I love Beyonce or like I like Beyonce, but, you know, I've never really cared much about her music. And this starts auto playing and I am sucked in. Like I care, first of all, if you're a beehive, you know that I care is one of the best songs she's ever written. it's one of the most vocally, like, impressive displays the sheet has ever done. And it's alive. It's incredible. And I watched this video so much, like, if this video would have been a VHS tape,

I would have burned that bitch up the amount of times I replayed and replayed and replayed this video. And that sort of put me in this jumping off position of diving headfirst into beehive lore and culture. And it was just the sort of. discovery when you discover an artist that's like, holy fuck. And I don't mean discover an artist. I mean like fully appreciate the full roster of art they've created because you can like an artist, like a few songs, or maybe be really familiar with an album, but understanding where they're coming from as an artist, what they've been through personally and all of the little, you know, projects and features and leaks and whatever, like that's a whole different fan experience than

like, oh yeah, I love that album by whatever. You know, it's like, bitch, I'm in this for life, for life. So that started it. I was probably 13, 14. And I watched live at Roseland until the DVD just about broke. Then I bought the I Am World Tour DVD. And then I had the Beyonce Experience DVD. And I had, I used to go to Walmart, dude, because when four came out, the album, I like bought it on,

on CD and then when self-titled came out, I bought that. I bought it on iTunes. I got all the videos. I got everything. I was like waiting for the drop. And I remember when Lemonade came out, I had a watch party with my mom and I had just gone through a breakup. Oh, bitch, there is not a more spiritual experience than going through a breakup and

listening to Lemonade. And it had just came out. It was new. So I was like diving into this piece of art, but at the same time it was like, it was so personal. And especially as a woman, that feeling of, am I just not enough for you? What the fuck else do I have to do to make myself enough for you? You want me to make myself smaller? You want me to make myself quieter?

You want me to make myself her? I'll make myself her if that's what you fucking want. And beyond, oh, my God. There's an interlude. on the visual album of lemonade, where she goes, oh, we're going to have chills reading this. I tried to change,

closed my mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less awake. Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word.

In that time, my hair, I grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated. Went to the basement, confessed my sins,

in a river. I got on my knees and said, amen, and said, I mean. I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself into a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil. I grew thick and skin on my feet. I bathed in bleach and plugged my minces with pages from the holy book, but still inside me coiled deep was the need to know. Are you cheating on me? I don't care that she may have. Probably she did. Make the most important piece of musical art probably in my lifetime.

The most culture-shifting important piece of art. I will die on this hill is Lemonade by Beyonce. I don't care. Oh my God, all these are so good. Let me find the one I was talking about. Oh, my God, this is what I was talking about. This is when anger flashes on the screen. If y'all haven't seen Lemonade, pause this right now and go watch Lemonade.

Are you joking? So this is right before she's about to sing, don't hurt yourself, which is my favorite Beyonce song, maybe of all time, at least top three. She says, if it's what you truly want, I can wear her skin over mine, her hair over mine, her hands as gloves, her teeth as confetti, her scalp a cap, her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We composed for a photograph, all three of us, immortalized. You and your perfect girl. Oh my God! I have chill. My hair is standing up on my arms. Can you see that? I have full body chills. You and your perfect girl. Oh my God. It's just like there's not been a piece of art that has been so

important. I love Beyonce. Okay, so lemonade came out 2016, changed my life forever. I saw her on the formation world tour. I can't talk about it. Actually, I'll start to cry. That was a very important show to me. That was a very, very important show to me. Then I graduate college in 2018. I go to Spain for my graduation trip, which is like, I minored in Spanish. It was like, I've been wanting to do this for so long. me and my mom went. On the way back to America from Spain, she drops everything is love, which is her and Jay-Z's sort of like makeup album

because Beyonce did Lemonade, Jay-Z did 4-4-4-44, and then Everything is Love was kind of their reconciliation of the cheating. And it tore apart their family and then they got back together and whatever. And each of their individual albums was them processing it individually.

And then everything is love. It's just so good. And so I bopper, that the entire, entire summer of 2018 to 2019. And it's just so good. It's just so, like, there's just no words. It's fun. It's serious.

It's heart-wrenching. It's everything that art should be. It's the full range. And I just, do you know how fucking hard that is to do? Y'all, and this is, oh my God, I'm going to get mad. I'm going to get so mad. To ever mention certain artists. ever in the same caliber as Beyonce.

You're smoking fucking crack cocaine. Beyonce is in a different universe when it comes to talent, polish, skill, ability. There is not a, she is the greatest living entertainer of our time. I'd say she's our Michael Jackson, but she's let Michael Jackson be Michael Jackson. She's fucking Beyonce, bitch. Like, I am so lucky to be alive at the same time as Beyonce. Beyonce is everything to me. She's everything a woman should and can be.

I just love her until I die. I will die on this hill. All the I am Bive to my core. Then Renaissance comes out, right? Life changing. Gagged. People died. Renaissance dropped.

People died. It was so, so life-changing. And this tour, I'm not joking, dude. This tour, how do you cram 25 years worth of material? into, you know, and she performed three hours, three hours every night. And it's not just, let me come out and I'm going to dance a little bit. It is full choreography. It is full production value.

It is full visuals. It is in between when she's doing costume changes. It's house music. And I don't mean house music. I mean like a DJ set house music with accompanying visuals that are so, so next level and impressive and immersive. And just like, I have never been to a show. like this. I've never, I've seen Beyonce twice before and I have never seen her do anything like this.

And what a skill to be 42 fucking years old and still be shocking people. Wow. I should be wearing my Beyonce shirt. No, my face will blue my shirt. He's with me in spiritual ways, but different than how Beyonce is with me. Oh my God. I have to rewatch Lemonade. Oh my God. In the end of this, the one I was reading where he said immortalized you and your perfect girl at the end of it. She says, why can't you see me? Everyone else can. Oh my God, I chose again because I feel the same world. Oh my God, why can't you see me? Everyone else can.

Oh, I love her so fucking much. I just, there has, and I mean this. In our generation, in our lifetime, try to name one other person who is doing it as well and to the scale that Beyonce is doing it. You can't. You can't. Sorry, I don't give a fuck. sorry. I stand a lot of musical artists, but be honest, they will always, always be my number one.

And I don't talk about her a lot because there's not much that I can add to the conversation, you know, that hasn't already been said because she is the greatest living entertainer. And at times, I almost forget that, like, people don't agree with that, which is crazy to me. It's like, watch one performance of hers ever, and you'd agree. even award show performances she does is better than some people's full-blown concert. I'm mad. I'm mad that certain acts can sell out SoFi Stadium

can sell out Madison Square Garden. I mean, that's kind of a smaller venue compared to like if you're selling out 50, 60, 70,000 seats, that's just wild. I also need another Beyonce tattoo. I got four right where my watch. Like, if I were to wear a watch, I got four. Because it's always Beyonce time, bitch.

It's always four. And you know what? No, I'm not done talking about Beyonce. We're going back to Beyonce. This feels like unnecessary to say, but for Beyonce to do what she does and on the scale that she does, knowing with the weight of responsibility of, like, in a lot of these categories, she is the first, not only woman, but black woman to do a lot of these things, to win a lot of these awards to headline some of these things like the weight and responsibility that that must

feel. I can't even imagine. I cannot imagine because she's breaking all these ceilings and it means so much to so many different communities that she's doing this for. And I think that's the test of a true, true artist is that you know it's not really about you. I mean, it is about you, but it's about what you're making possible for other people. And she is the first one to point out and note that it's other black women in front of her that have paved the way for her to be able to do what she does now. And it's sad that we even have to have that fucking conversation or acknowledgement in 2023. But it's true.

And she is just the picture to me of like, she's done it right. She's done everything right. And I just have so much respect and love for her. And what she does for the black community is just something that you can't put it into words. You know, like at the live shows and the responses online, it's just something so, so special. And I can appreciate her music in a certain way, but I'll never be able to appreciate it the way the black community does because that is, it's not for me. You know what I mean? And I think it's magical.

And it's very cool to sort of be on the sidelines and watch it and celebrate. and celebrate it in that way. And I just, I have so much respect for her. And what she does with the responsibility that society is kind of thrown on her. So, anyway, I'll move on from Beyonce because I know y'all are fine, fine. I'll move on. But just know, at any moment in time, I could come back to talking about Beyonce. So just figure it out.

Okay, we're going to switch gears completely, totally. And we're going to talk about Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan. We're going to talk about John Cresensky and Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan. Now, what am I talking about? Funny you should ask. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're going to be talking about, guys. Right here, if you could direct your attention to the screen,

it's going to be a sweaty picture of ripped John Cresensky. And I say this totally seriously. I fantasize about him. I think about him a lot. He permeates my thoughts throughout the day. Dreams, nightmares, maladaptive, daydreaming. I'm thinking about John Cresensky. Okay.

Now, is he another white man of the month? Yeah. Yeah. Okay? Look at him. Look at him. That's a great picture. That's a great fartar.

Sometimes he looks a little dorky. I'll admit. Okay, he's given Jim. It's giving Jim. But here. God. God. Okay.

If you don't know about Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan, He is a CIA analyst. Okay, he's like an operative. And he's an analyst that has experience in the field because he used to be in the military. And I love shows like that. Like, whatever, dude. Like, I love shows like this. I have some friends who are always like, I just want like a funny show to put it on the background.

No, bitch. I want House of the Dragon. I want Jack Ryan. I want peeky blinders. I want Narcos. I want serious, like, dramatic, almost historical adjacent or modern day adjacent dramas. I love succession. I love shit that makes you think.

And it introduces you to something maybe you've never really, like, taken the time to care about. Like, Peeky Blinders really kind of introduced me to a historical deep dive into Prohibition and the Great Depression, because they, kind of take you through World War I into the stock market crash of 1929, into like the Great Depression and and Prohibition and how in the UK they were smuggling, you know, liquor into America. Like I never really gave a shit about any of that. And then I was like, oh my God, that was real. Oh my God, wait, that actually freaking happened. That's blowing my freaking mind. It was so like I love shows like that. Narcos, as much as it is drama, it teaches you a lot because it's based on, and of course, like, I say this every time.

It's not to be taken as a historically accurate, but it's a jumping off point to go, you know, read the Wikipedia page, if you will, or watch some of the documentaries or, like, video essays on YouTube with the sources cited sort of thing of drug trafficking, like a really, what an interesting and violent and crazy world. So, Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan is so good. It's sort of in that universe of television, if you're into that, of like, it's very fast-paced. It's very like, oh, and he did that because he's working with the ken.

Oh, my God, I should have noticed she was going to turn on him because he's dead weird. It's that. It's like you're trying to think ahead of the show, but the show always takes a turn of it and so good. And John Corseslaw is so hot. He's so hot. Jackersets. Oh, wow, yeah. seen him pin Badgley from EZE when he's the beaver mascot.

Ah! That's Meena Jockersk! Anyway, this show is so good and I just binge seasons one and two, and I'm about to start season three. Dude, it's just a great show. Like, I love a good TV show. I hope they don't fuck it up. Because if I get to season four, they fuck it. You know who I'm going to bitch, too?

You guys. So I'm going to punish you guys if the show is badly. because that's going to affect my psyche. Okay. Jack Ryan. So, so good. And I also, it always, I don't know, it's very, uh, interesting to watch TikToks and YouTube videos about how, like, how accurate is, you know, this portrayal of the CIA.

How accurate is the portrayal of the FBI? Like, that sort of thing. Uh, and especially, uh, international sort of, agencies similar to America's CIA or whatever. Like how accurate are they describing and representing not only the agency, but the characters that the agency is involved with. And how would they operate in real life? I love that shit. I also love military adjacent things because I get to look at men in military uniforms. I'm a woman of simple taste. I am a woman of simple making. Okay? If I see a man in a uniform, if I see a man in a helmet, if I see a man in a mask.

It's over. Jerking it. Okay. How many times am I going to say the word jerking? The phrase jerking it as a woman on this podcast. Hey guys, jerking it. Hey guys, we'll go back to jerk time with Brady. Welcome back to jerking it with Brady. Today's contender is that's criminal. My goal, and this is, it is inspired by Drew, by Drew Ruf Wallow, is just I want to make men feel this small, because I have felt this small for the majority of my life. I have felt sexualized and objectified and just like really not like a real human person. And so if I have the opportunity to make a man feel that way, hey, I'm going to take it. Okay. And it's nothing bad. I'm just saying he's hot. Okay? So for all you, oh, you bitch,

Are you bitches? We're like, okay, she can talk about a man like that, but when a man talks like that about a woman, do you guys get so mad? How about shut the fuck up? How about shut the fuck up? It's a joke, but also maybe it's not. And also, it's my podcast to shut the fuck up.

Okay, how come she's about it? That's me tasing you, bitch. Okay, so she's the woman and she's like, gzz. Now try to speak, bitch, you're drooling. Get off the carpet. That rug is from Lowe's. don't drool into my fucking rug. Okay.

Anyway, moving on. Um, okay. So, moving on. I want to talk about slime videos as well. The roster for today was Beyonce, Jack Ryan, slime. Beyonce, Jack Ryan, okay. So we need to talk about Beyonce. You need to talk about junkies.

And you need to talk about, okay, slime. Okay. So slime videos on TikTok. This is not a new thing, right? Slime's been around for a long time. Even before it was like an aesthetic thing on YouTube or TikTok. My mom used to do like, she was a science teacher for like elementary school and middle school. She used to do experiments like in front of the class or whatever to get them interested in science.

And she used to make slime. It wasn't called slime, but it was like borax and whatever. And it was to show the, what's that word? Not buoyancy. But like if you hit it, it's solid. But if you stick your finger at it slowly, it's a liquid. What is that word? All you science girls in the comments, you let me know.

I cannot remember the word for it. And my mom is going to kick me when she probably hears that I don't remember. But it's that. Veracity? No, that's not it. Where you like, you hit it and it feels like rubber and then you like slowly in the warmth of your fingers like heats it up to a liquid. I don't know. Anyway, borax is involved in all that.

But you used to be able to like pick it up and play with it on the table. It was slime, bitch. It didn't smell like marshmallow ducky candy, but it was slime. And so I've been playing with slime since I was probably, probably like middle school. I used to watch it on YouTube, okay? I used to watch the slime videos of them making it and then playing with it and they're like putting their fingers in it and then slapping it over like it's pizza dough and then the crack in the bubbles in it.

Ooh, I love slime. I want to chew on it and suck on it and I want to eat it and I want to swallow it and I want to vomit it back up and it having all people. Oh my God, if I was a bird, sometimes I wish I had a bird throat where you could just Instead of having to sit there and chew my chick-fil-a sandwich, I don't... And swallow it, just... And when you can see it go down my throat comedically,

it's like the shape of a sandwich. Like down my throat. Me eating anything. That's terrible. And then I spit it up and I regurgitate it back and I feed all you guys because you're my sons, you're my children. I feed the nation. These are how I dispel rations.

How I dispense rations. I eat it. And then I spend it out, and then you're like, what the fuck are we talking about? Just have another one of those moments. What the fuck are my... All right, slime.

Back to the serious topic at hand. We're talking about slime. On TikTok now, they're doing slime videos, but it's like rating the scoopability of my slimes. And it's with that like 60-second, old-timey vintage retro commercial music. And it's so pleasing. And they're so inventive with the textures of the slimes and the smells and the aesthetic and little charms they put in it.

I'll sit there for, I'm not joking, two and a half hours. Watch slime videos. And then I look up slack-jawed from my phone at my laptop that I need to like be doing work on or like answering emails. And I'm just like, I've got to go lay down. I have got to go lay down I've got to be horizontal something about slime just man

just puts me it just gets me there something about slime just puts me in that headspace I just get there I love it it is so relaxing I like slime videos

I used to like the soap cutting videos we don't know about we all know about soap cutting let's put some soap cutting up here yeah where they slice it a little I don't know how they do that without slicing their fingers

open. They dice it and then they cut it and it's so pleasing and then there's also that soap that curls and crunches and I just want to take it. I don't know what the baby urge and instinct is to just ingest things. I see something I like, hey, I want to put it in my mouth. Okay? I have got to know what it feels like to suck on that. I see something that looks shiny and cool. I got to suck on it. Oh my God, a plastic. Give it to me right now. You know where it's going? Mama, that's going, that is going right here. It's going under my tongue.

No pickles. Still no pickles. The fucking big ass fish from SpongeBob. Big mean, fat fish sponge bob. Still no pickles. Bubble bass. Oh my God, I am bubble bass. Still no pickles.

And the guy's like, oh my God, that's my wallet. My car keys! It's like under his tongue. SpongeBob is the funniest show on television, period. There is nothing that makes me giggle as art as SpongeBob. I got a jellyfish tent too. I love SpongeBob. I need another one.

I was thinking about when I finished my sleeve, all the little like empty spots, I want to put the flowers from the sky and SpongeBob. And the flowers on Patrick Shorts. I think that'd be cute. Just like a touch of color all over the arm. Anyway, I will be going as Bubble Bass for Halloween. So, Bubble Bass cosplay coming soon. Bubble Bass X Ghost from Callow Duty cosplay X.

Koenig from Call of Duty X. I'm going to be all of that together. Actually, I'm going to be Bubble Bass X. Kylo Ren and then my boyfriend, because I'm going to have a boyfriend at Halloween, it's like a thing. I don't know. I'm just like manifesting it. I feel it in the air.

Something's happening. I'm going to have to update you guys because I just feel it. Okay. And then boyfriend is going to be cosplaying his ghost from Call of Duty. So we'll check in on that. You know, um,

I'll show you the bubble bass fit. Still, no, pickles. That's literally me. I'm bubble bass as fuck. I'm bubble bass coated. Those aesthetic slideshow videos on TikTok of like,

which Zodiac aesthetic are you? Which cottage core aesthetic are you? But I'm bubble bass core. Still. No. Pickles. Sticulous. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Can someone make me a slime that's that? It's pickle slime. And there's little pickles in it. Oh, my God, there's little pickle chips in it. But they're fake. They're plastic. But it's like that see-through, iridescent, sparkly, like green.

Oh, my God. And it smells like pickles. Someone make that and send it to me. I'll give you my mailing address. Please. I need that. If you're a slime magician, if you're a slime creator, hear me out, okay? Still no pickles, coated slime.

All right, guys, I think that'll just about do it for me for this episode. I am loving you and I'm cherishing you. And I am urging and begging you to go watch Royal Court. Watch Royal Court. It's my medieval celebrity talk show. What the fuck else could you ever want? It's on my YouTube channel. Royal Court, Brittany Brosky.

Just Google it, dude. Okay? Orville Peck, Drew Off Wallow, super secret surprise celebrity guest for the third one. Okay, coming out September 20th. Okay, I love you guys. Go listen to my podcast. This is my podcast. Sorry.

Make sure to listen to this podcast. Please. Rate it five stars if you want, because if you rate it five stars, I can keep doing this, okay? They're also holding a gun to my head from behind the camera. I'm just kid. It's just me in this room. so sorry if I was a little gummy this episode the goldfish again once again did dry me out and I love you guys and new YouTube video every week on the Brady Brosky channel and be safe

and have fun and good night and good luck bye bye