The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 2: Entering My Mind Palace

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

This week on The Broski Report: how hard it is to find plus sized clothes, the evolution of virality, and Brittany details her bedtime routine. Plus, Brittany takes a firm stance against story times on TikTok that require a part 2, being sold to constantly, and trying to get a viral sound.https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireporthttps://instagram.com/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broskihttps://instagram.com/brittany_broskiBrought To You By: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BROSKI

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.

This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brosky. Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of The Brodsky Report starring me, your host, Britney Brosky on The Brookesky Report. I am not going to bullshit. I am tweaking. three cups of cafe boost below this morning. No, I'm not sponsored by them.

It's just fucking jet fuel. It makes me feel crazy. I'm like, I could, you know, when you get so excited, it's like I have something to say, but it's nothing of substance. That's the whole fucking point of this podcast. So I'm feeling real, real hyper. I'm feeling real, real silly.

And I think we're in for a silly goose time. Okay? I'll be real honest. Now, the end of the last episode, as I was wrapping up, I was like, fuck me, dude. I forgot to tell the people my three favorite songs of the week. So I want to do that now because I forgot it last time. I'm an idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot.

Okay. My three favorite songs of this week are, number one, la bebe, la remix, la remix by Pesso Pluma. And who the fuck else sings it? Young Lucas. that song? And I know, like, girl, yeah, we get it. It's the number one trending song in Mexico or whatever.

Or maybe that's Ella solo. La Bebe, the best song I've ever heard. It might be. It might be. Are you kidding? Like, are you... The way he sings it? Oh, my God.

He wants to put music for that you're going to bea-baugh-la-la-ba-ba-be-we. Okay, anyway. I feel like I need to fucking scream. Okay. Next. Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris and Florence Welch. This is an oldie but a goodie, okay?

Y'all forgot about this song. You're giving me such sweet nothing. Such a good song, dude. I recently like with Electroshock back to my Calvin Harris era. There are so many bops. me and Taylor were singing in the car to it, chills up and down our arms, down our legs. It was crazy. Another one, okay, this is not on the record.

This is not official Brosky Nation propaganda. This is not anywhere. There is not a letterhead that you will find that has Brozky Nation royal signature on it that will endorse this message by any means, but I'm going to say it, okay? But it's totally off the record. The third song is going to be last night by Morgan Wallen. Now, does that deeply, deeply trouble me? Yes, it does.

Okay? But I love that song. I love it. Last night we let the liquor talk. That song is everything. What is then? We got it on. No way it was last night.

That song is so, it's got cracking it, bitch. It's got cracking it. Those are going to be my three songs of the week. We've got a good mix of facial pluma, Calvin Harris, and redacted. Okay? Redacted. We're not going to say his name.

Moving right along. Okay, so what are the updates from the last time that we spoke? I am feeling like TikTok is pissing me off lately. Okay, I need to get that off my chest. TikTok. There are certain practices and cultural habits on TikTok that piss me off. Okay?

I'm just going to, I have compiled a short little list here of about six things. And I would like to talk about them with y'all because I know that you can relate. It is just like, I'm finally waking up. I'm waking up for ash and dust. Bring back Imagine Dragons. Why is the lead singer of Imagine Dragons sexy, dude? Pull them up. Imagine Dragons.

Lead. Lead singer shirtless. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. And yub. Yub.

Yub. I know that's right. Ooh. Okay. Oh, I'm tearing up. Okay. Oh, my face just got hot. Okay.

Oh, damn. This is Imagine Dragons. And it's more than one guy, I think. This is Dan Reynolds. Okay? Dan Reynolds, you are welcome on this channel anytime. Dan Reynolds, hey, Dan Reynolds. What's going on?

You want to come over? We could play the Wii. I bought a Wii off eBay for 60 bucks. Okay? Solely to play Beatles Rock. man because I'm a fucking American. Anyway, why was I talking about Imagine Dragons?

I'm waking up. I'm waking up out of this stupor that TikTok has put me in where I'm just like this passive fucking robot, zombie, Wally, like glued to my chair and iPhone just like blob of flesh.

I'm waking up and I'm sentient. I am Wally. And I'm searching for my Eva. Okay? And Disney, you can put that on a shirt and you can give me $50 million in royalties. Okay? Walt, it's me. Wait, what's up?

They hit the Pentagon again. Sorry, already did that bit. The Pentagon bit's funny every time, okay? In that rat, me, eat. Okay. Imagine Dragons. What were we talking about? TikTok.

I am no longer a passive, absorber, consumer, if you will, of capitalism. I'm fucking sick and tired of being sold to, and I refuse, I refuse to the best of my ability because these apps were created and built to keep our attention for the long run, to sell to us and bleed us dry of every piece of attention, money, self-confidence, and sanity that we have,

which is not much. Hey, it's not much. So I am waking up and I encourage you, children of the Lord, to follow me. Okay? Now, when I scroll on TikTok and I see the top four beauty products, you need to scroll. Also, scroll back. Not interested. I'm not interested.

Okay, dude. Like, I'm sick of it. Okay. Tell me why everyone needs this. What? Holy grail. Not interested. Stop buying fast fashion.

and invest in these brands. Scroll. Scroll. I'm going to start wearing a fucking potato sack. I'm going to start wearing pillowcases when I leave the house. Because you can't buy fast fashion. You can't buy thrifted clothes because they're so expensive. And also you're stealing from people that might need them.

Hey, I need them. Not me, but you know what I mean? And you can't buy department store clothes because they don't carry your size. And then also this whole trend of like really thin people buying oversized items. Hey, that's my real size. I wear a 2X for real.

Okay? Sorry, you need a sleep shirt, babe. I'm a 2X. I'm a big mama. There's so many like nuances and layers to that conversation of just like buying clothes and reselling clothes online. Girl, don't fucking get me started on Dpop. it's just like that is the culture online where you cannot do anything right and I think that there is a line to a certain extent of people have to buy clothes we are in one of the worst economic recessions right now it's not feasible for everyone to buy secondhand clothing and also on top of that when you go to thrift stores all the good stuff is taken by the trendy girls so they can do halls on tic-tok you know like there are actually i remember i remember i

When I was in college and when I worked my job or I made $39,000 a year, I shopped at thrift stores because that's all I could afford. You know, it's like I understand all sides of the conversation. But let people do what they're going to do, right? Like there is no point in shaming people for buying Shian if that's all they can afford. Because guess what? Shean and Sider are some of the only body inclusive websites that sell. cute clothes that aren't the fucking maternity cut for plus size.

I just like, I feel so passionately about this issue. Because what's the fucking alternative girl? Torrid, Lane Bryant, dress barn, shoot me in the head. Take me at, take me behind the shed and shoot me with a rifle old yellow style. Dude, before I shop at dress barn. Are you kidding? It's not flattering.

it's not young. It doesn't make you feel beautiful. You know, it's like those are for, those stores are not where I want to shop. And I'm tired of having to like dance around the issue. Okay. It's one thing to shop from there as just like a normal person where it's like I can't fucking afford anything else. And it's another thing to promote those brands. Right. When you see people taking money and doing brand deals for Sheen, Fashion Nova, things like that. that that's a different beast entirely, as you are now endorsing and promoting that. It's such a multi-layered issue.

And I think that people take statements out of context a lot, as fucking always on the internet. Nothing is spoken about with nuance. It's just so, and it's also like, they tend to leave out this part of, I am living in a plus-size body. Not every store. It's 2023, and you would be shocked at how,

little percentage still of stores carry above a fucking Excel. And XL is like what, a size 10? Girl. Anyway, that was that on that. That's one aspect of TikTok culture that pisses me off is the shaming, the shaming. Because TikTok fashion is such a big thing. I mean, since the pandemic of like how to style this. And TikTok fashion is its own thing.

And we see trends come from TikTok and resurgences. and the whole Y2K thing happened during the whatever. It's just like, let people enjoy things. Anyway. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds.

Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine,

year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified B Corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the plant it through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms.

Good eggs. No shortcuts. Thanks. Story times on TikTok. If you can't fit it in a three-minute video, I don't want to hear it. Okay? Unless it is the craziest story of my life that I've ever heard, I don't want to hear it. Okay? It's that simple. It's that simple, guys. Don't do a part two. Part twos are so annoying. Like and share for part two. Hey, I won't be doing that.

Also, I just reported your account. Like and follow for part two. Hey, I have your address. And I'm going to tweet it. Like and share for part two. Also, guys, follow me on Instagram before. Is your daughter's name? Brittany.

Is your daughter's name, Haley? I know where they go to school. Sorry, that was dark. Holy shit. Hey, sorry. What? Okay. People who beg for a follow at the beginning of a part two, or what's even worse? I didn't know this is going to go. Wow. Didn't expect that to blow up. If you're new here, follow my... Immediately, I'm checked out. I'm checked out of whatever you were about to say. No, I don't care. No longer interested, moving on. Blocked and reported.

number two is like I said being sold to constantly being sold to constantly i'm finally like aware of it and when i get a video that's like these are my three holy grail did not interested and also i'll do the thing where it's like how do you feel about this video i like it i like it i don't like it i'll say i don't like it don't get your algorithm is completely in your hands what you're like how long you're watching the videos, if you're interested, not interested. Like, you communicate that to the algorithm. Yeah. Your destiny's in your hands.

And don't act like it's not, because it is. That's just so annoying. Like, I'm so cognizant of when I'm being pushed a brand or a product or a service. Girl, leave it at the door. I'm trying to watch edits of Bezo Bluma. old people on TikTok. There was a time where old people on TikTok used to be charming. Charming and funny and oh my God, he doesn't know how to use the app.

Grandpa, you're our grandpa now. If I see another old geyser, old, old, another old hag on my four you, okay? I am blocking and reporting that account. No questions asked. If you are over the age of 60 and you don't get it by now, you're gone, grandma. I don't want to see you. You can be a liker and a commenter. I love when I get a video on my 4-U page of like, The Beach Boys.

It'll be like, Beach Boys, 1971, Mike Love, whatever. And someone will comment, it'll be a grandma, it'll be like, it'll be like, Susan Conner. elite 1991 and it'll be like the comment says I was at this concert he waved to me

it was the happiest day in my life I'm 72 see I like that you can be a commenter I want to hear that like that's cool right like you were at this concert

that's sick if you're making videos with the dumbass filters or it's like sometimes it'll be a stitch of a funny video or like tell me about the time

that you and then it'll be a stitch of some old guy being like, Frito Pa! I hate old people. Oh, that's about to piss me off. Because it's not funny anymore. And the people that enable that and encourage it, you're not funny.

You are painfully unfunny. Moving on. People who just point to text over their head, one of these, die. Die. Die. You should consider. getting in a car and driving far, far away from civilization, from anyone. And do some introspection.

Find something interesting about yourself, about your hobbies, who you are as a person. And when you're ready, come back to civilization and share it with us. Because pointing to text over a fucking TikTok is not content and it's not a personality. Moving on. Oh my God. get tagged in these days about to piss me off. TikTok culture is so strange. Strange.

I still to this day get tagged by like 13-year-olds on TikTok. Your second at has to take you to Italy. Who you got? And people will tag me and then react to it. Hey, go finish your algebra homework. Hey, you have a test on Friday. Fucking tag me on TikTok. I don't even tag my friend.

That's what the DM features for. Don't tag people on a TikTok. Send it to them. Oh my God. I just think that's so annoying. Your second ad. Okay. Your third at has to respond in 30 seconds or they owe you $10.

Girl. This last one is about to piss me off, even more than I'm pissed off right now. It is the phenomenon that needs to be. studied by sociologists and philanthropists everywhere, I think. People who try to have a viral sound, okay? People who try their hardest to make like a funny, widely applicable, but also incredibly specific viral sound that no one uses, because that's the point of a viral sound is it goes viral for one reason and then someone finds a use for it some other way and that's how it becomes

funny right that clip of tom from succession talking about the heinous burberry bag that was specific to that episode and people take that sound and apply it to other things like when you travel in europe with a big suitcase and it's like look at that heinous that's funny okay because it's applicable in both situations. It has context and also no context. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full,

owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings.

they're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

This shit piss me off. Let's watch it. So the caption, I'll describe it for the audio listeners, is creating potentially viral sounds part one. And of course, this is a deleted video. And it is a young woman, seemingly around the age of 15 to 17. And this is the audio. You know, built like a butt cheek. I just like... I could take... Like, you know when you go to a diner and those booths are made of that really sticky leather, like, vinyl?

I could take a bite out of that and just... I am filled with so much rage. I'm filled with so much testosterone. I could outrun a greyhound. I am so angered by whatever the fuck that was And we're gonna watch it again, of course What the fuck would you do that? You know, built like a butt cheek.

You know she finished filming that was like, I ate that out. She finished filming that and was like, this one's gonna bang. This is a good one. No hate to this girl, obviously. Because I know, it truly genuinely, should be studied.

Like, whatever the driving force behind this is, right? Of like, why do you want to go viral so bad? And I was talking about this with Stanley the other day. I feel like everyone, in the year of our Lord, 2023, everyone either has or has known somebody in their personal life that has had a viral TikTok. The true meaning of viral is gone. I think.

When viral used to mean everyone's, saw it. It was when the internet was a smaller place. Back when YouTube was a very small platform, when a video went viral, that meant everyone on the platform had seen it. There are so few videos like that to this day where it's like everyone remembers that. Because the world was such a small place when that happened. When TikTok was a very small platform, um, the Avani clown video, you know, where she, fucking pieces. If you were on TikTok, 2019, you saw that video because everyone saw that video. Charlie doing the Renegade.

Everyone saw that. This shit is like forcing virality in an age where it is just, it has gotten too big. This platform, what has one billion active users or something stupid like that, you are not going to have a viral video in that sense. You know, you may get 100,000, 300,000 likes, which is huge. Don't get me wrong. but that is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things.

And I think that these kids in high school don't understand that. You know, where it's like, and also this video got what, 69,000 likes or something like that. And then she deleted it because they bullied the fuck out of her. So is it worth it?

Like, is it worth it? I just, I have this whole weird thing about, you know, like, it's easy for me. to sit here and talk about, of course you're doing to go viral. But like, do you? I don't,

I see it from all different angles of the crazy, fast-paced nature of being the subject of a viral video. Obviously, I understand that. But also, like, I miss the anonymity of being able to just scroll and comment and like things without people going through your likes or seeing your comments on shit and being, Ariana, what are you doing here?

Girl! I miss the in on emmody to a certain extent, but I'm also incredibly grateful, obviously, for everything that's come from having a viral video. I don't think that now, at this point in time, the kombucha video could be recreated, at least not on TikTok, you know, where it reaches everyone.

I am so excited for a new app where new creators can come and we'll see them sprout from there. And it's so weird to think that because I'm sure like Cody Coe and people who really had their initial success on Vine probably felt that way too about TikTok of like who's going to come up out of this app. And it's obviously going to be a younger generation, but how the senses of humor change and all that. like I just, this sort of content is just going to piss me off.

Because it's like you don't know what you're asking for. I think that's it. You don't know what you're inviting. It's like playing with a Ouija board girl. You don't know what you are asking into your home. Because if you don't close that portal, hey, they're staying with you. And now she will forever be known, not forever, but for a little bit, she'll be known. As didn't you make that cringing?

Could you imagine? Hey, you made that cringy TikTok. I just like, all because you want that moment. Who doesn't? That 15 minutes of fame. You want to have a viral video. You want to go to school the next day and be like, yeah. I'm TikTok famous.

I get it. Trust and believe I get it. But I think that there's more to life than having that moment. There is more to life than online. attention. Moving on. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts

for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their

life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified B Corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the carton in the egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I would like to talk about how I sleep. Because maybe I'm realizing that I sleep really weird.

And I would like to be validated and maybe reassured. Let me describe it. So to begin, I can't wear underwear. Half of the beauty of wearing a mumo is you can free ball. You can free ball your downstairs, your undercarriage to the wind. There is nothing more American I can think of. More Eagle Call. Wasn't an Eagle call? I don't know what that was. Eagle call.

Not an eagle call either. What the fuck? There is nothing, I think, in my. opinion, more American, right? There's nothing more American. Then laying in a temperapeutic mattress bed in a moo-moo. Having one of those old yellow, dusty fans at the foot of the bed, just right, right mattress level. And it's blowing up the mu-moo into your undercutt. carriage drying it off, right?

I can't think of anything more freeing. That is what George Washington thought and died for, is for me to lay in my bed with a yellowed fan from the 1990s blowing on my undercarriage. That is a beautiful thing. And if you've never tried it, I encourage you. I encourage you. go home and try it.

Put on, buy a moo-moo. First of all, step one, go to Walmart. Buy a moo-moo. Okay, seven bucks. Do it. It's worth it. If you're a man, do it. If you're non-binary, even better, do it. Go to Walmart, get a moo-m-m-moo, lay in bed.

Turn that fan on. And you put on your favorite TV show and you lay there and you do, like a dad watching golf. That is literally me in my bed, watching Doug Dynasty. In my mumo. with my undercarriage.

Okay. First of all, that's how, that's step one of how I am is on the drying rack, so to speak. Have to lay there like that. I have to have one of those soft blankets. I don't know how to describe it, but other than Target always sells them. It's those soft blankets that's like, I don't know how to, it's just, it's fur, it's fuzzy, but it's not furry and it's not woven, it's not scratchy, it's just like super soft. You got to put one of those on you and then the comforter,

but then you've got to rip the comfort off and you've got to stick one leg out. Okay? So you got one leg out touching the fan and then you got one leg under the covers. I have to have two pillows under me, under my neck, to prop me up so I can watch TikTok as my TV. He's playing. Then I have a little squishy strawberry pillow. I put that under my neck so I can see good. So I can see real good.

Then I have to have my... This thing. I got to have my water burger Yeti. Okay? Full of ice water. And one of my great aunts is from New Jersey. And she says, Wooder. Wooder.

full of ice water and you got to have that by the bedside always because sometimes hey sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I have cotton mouth for no reason and I can't fucking breathe because my tonsils are touching and my tongue completely dried out

okay why what's up? What's up guys? You're weird, you're weird. I didn't come on here to feel judge I came on here to feel peace to feel peace and understanding and I'm not getting it. Sometimes I feel like H-R-H collection.

I'll be really, really honest. I feel like H-R-H collection. I'm yelling at an invisible audience that I know it's going to be in the comments. I know some of you bitches are going to be like, you have cotton mouth, you should see a doctor, you're dehydrated. How could I be dehydrated when I have my waterburger Yeti full of ice water, you bitch?

Anyway, Eagle sound effect pulled up on my... I laughed. Okay. Okay, so we got the undercarriage. We have the blanket. We have the pillows. We have my waterburger ice water. Next, I keep a family-sized carton of plain goldfish next to my bedside. Plain. I don't want them too messy with the fucking flavor blasted, finger blasted, cheddar blasted, pizza flavored sour cream and puss flavored Pringle goldfish. I don't need it. I need the salty goodness of a baked cheese snack cracker, goldfish.

Goldfish. It's a quicker picker uper. Goldfish. That's not it. What are we talking about? Okay, I got my goldfish carton. And I mean family size. I mean like, if I brought it out here, it's about this tall, and it's literally a carton.

I keep that between my bed and my nightstand. And if y'all call it a bedside table, you're weird. It's a nightstand, okay? So I pull that out. And I, because I'm laying completely flat on my back with my net prompt at a 90 degree angle, I'll pour some of the goldfish on my, on my chesticle. Because here is honestly a little serving plate. Okay?

They call it your clavicle. I call it my serving plate. It's very flat right here. You can pour a few goldfish out and it's just like a, it's like sometimes when you fly first class on a plane and they bring around warm nuts in a little white bowl. It's like that, but it's goldfish on my boobs. Okay, so I have my goldfish, I have my water. Now, I open TikTok, okay?

I open TikTok and it has to be loud, but not too loud, because maybe I'm going deaf, okay? I really, really monitor the fuck out of my levels on my iPhone because I feel myself going deaf, and that's a scary feeling. So I'll monitor that. And, um, so, It's got to be loud, not too loud. Then on the TV, something has to be playing that I can pay attention to do if I want to,

but it's very low risk. What's the perfect solution? Duck Dynasty. Okay? Because Duck Dynasty makes me miss my family, because Duck Dynasty is exactly like my family. And it's comfortable for me, and I've seen almost every episode, so I'll just put it out. It's on YouTube for free, if you'd like to go watch Duck Dynasty. It's a good time.

So I'll put that up on the TV, low volume, and then I'll watch TikTok. Okay? For, yeah, you guessed it, two hours. And I have a time limit on my apps for an hour and a half. Blow through it every night. Might as well turn it off, okay? I'll be on TikTok for about two to three hours. And I'm working on my collections.

I have a bunch of different... Actually, what are my collections? One is recipes. Another is style inspiration. Another one is just really talented people. I have called wow talent. another one is makeup, another one is ASMR, another one's DIY. I have a whole one just for Maddie Healy for some reason.

One called Life Tips. And the first video is a girl talking about how she listens to medieval lofi beats, fantasy lofi music when she's trying to clean the house because it makes her feel like a medieval bar win. And I watched that video and I said, I need to try that out. I watched that video and said, she's one of the forward-thinking minds of our generation. Fantasy lo-fi music.

All right. Next is design. And then we've got perfume, tattoos, and then one called watch win sad. And that's going to be funny videos, okay, that I'm probably going to do a reaction to on YouTube someday. Then the final one, and this is really what I've been curating for the past two.

weeks is one called Hot Sexy. And that's just going to be a mix of Petro Pascal and Pezo Pluma. I need him biblically. I need him in a way that is concerning to feminism. Okay? And I'll say it because this is my newsroom. This is my newsroom. And if I say that I need Pezo Pluma biblically,

And traditionally, then I mean it. Okay? Anyway. Okay, so that's what I'm watching on TikTok. I'm curating, right? And I'm swapping. I'm swapping between TikTok, Pinterest, Tumblr, Spotify. Sometimes I go listen to music on top of TikTok and my TV because I have to be stimulated.

One thing about me, I'm going to be stimulated. Then when I've decided, all right, that's enough TikTok, that's enough art curation for the night. I place my phone down, put it on the charger. I set my alarm for the next day whenever I need to get up. And then I'll go to my TV, I'll turn the volume down, and I'll either put it on celestial brown noise. They do a brown noise black screen video on YouTube that is so incredible for sleeping.

It'll knock me on my ass. Or I'll put on one of those aesthetic like medieval castle with a crackling fire and it's raining and you're a princess and your prince is. Hey, I'm 26, by the way. I'll do that. I'll put that on. I'll be like, damn, I am in my mind palace.

Really what I'm doing is building my mind palace. My room with a fan of my undercarriage, dug dynasty on the TV, and a goldfish in my fucking lip. Okay? That's my mind palace. Oh my God. God. I literally can't think of anything more fun.

I literally can't think of anything more fun. That is, I'm not joking, 2A.T. Enrichment time in my enclosure. I am happy and safe. Okay. I'm like a dog locked in a car. He's listening to his favorite music. The air is blowing.

He has water. That's literally me in my room. Doug Dynasty. Okay. Anyway. Oh my God. Lately, I've been into watching couples that go Disney bounding. which Disneybounding, if you didn't know, is you're not legally allowed to dress up like an actual Disney character when you go to Disney because people will think that you work for Disney and you're like one of the characters meet and greeting.

And that's just too fucking much. They have a brand to keep up. Okay? So you can Disneybound. You can dress inspired by a certain Disney character. And I have found a couple on TikTok. I can't remember their names. but they do these crazy like they act like their video game characters you know how they kind of

like bounce and they do little like motions with their hands and then they you know whatever it's always the hands on the hips for some reason that's like the Disney adult fucking stance fucking stature and uh oh my god they just nail it every time and of course of course you have to finish it off at the Mickey ears always on theme if they're dressing up as beauty beauty and the beast hey one of them the woman the wife if you're you're not even if you're will, will have like a bell ears on and the husband will have a beast ears on. They are always on theme. Do you understand how rich Disney adults are? You have to be so rich to be able to buy all that shit, buy the ears, buy the food, buy the reusable cups, the reusable popcorn holders, the this,

the that that, the tumblers, the whatever. It's so much money, dude. Not to mention a day pass for Disneyland? Park Hopper Pass to go to both Disneyland and California Adventure, because you have to, you can't just go to one. A Park Hopper Pass plus Jeannie Plus, which is the new Fast Pass, plus parking, plus shuttle, plus eating if you're going to be there all day. It's like the Park Hopper ticket alone is usually about $300.

$220 to like $300. And then everything else, I mean, you're easily spending $700, maybe, in a day. I mean, that is crazy. $700 for two people? Oh, my God. And I'll do it. And you wouldn't?

And you wouldn't? Oh, so you're lying. Oh, so you're a fucking liar. Oh, so you're allergic to joy, magic, and fun. Oh, so you're allergic to the wondrous joy of returning to a childlike state. Anyway, yeah, it is so expensive. I also follow the... this family that goes to Disney once a week.

Once a week. And it's like four of them. It's like, I think there's four people in the family. I think it's two kids and two parents. Oh my God. That's easily, that's a thousand bucks. Minimum a week. Oh.

Oh! That is crazy. I need to get on that grind. I need to just work at Disney. Maybe they'd give me. me a discount. I have a Mickey Mouse tattoo, dude. Do you think if I just flash that? They'd be like, you're good. Hey, come on in, sister. And then everyone passed me on the back and they bite me in and we all cheers. I love Disney. I love Disney. Um, anyway, that's been my latest obsession. Anyway,

so that's, that's how I go to sleep is I have to put my brown noise on. I have to snuggle up in my blanket and my mumu and turn that, crank that fan up to seven. Okay? I got my water, turn the lights out. I have one single salt lamp in my room that's turned down to the lowest setting. And that's the only light that I allow in my room because what if I have to get up to pee? I don't want to hurt myself. I'll hurt myself. So keep that on. Nothing else though. And I do have a toilet light. My mom got me a toilet light for Christmas. And I listen, I cannot speak highly enough about it. Invest in a toilet light. It is so much fun. It will improve your quality of life by about 0.5%. I promise you that. And it alternates colors. So as I'm sitting there pissing green,

pissing yellow, pissing dark yellow and brown, because I haven't had a sip of water that day because I'm clinically dehydrated. When I'm sitting there pissing brown into the toilet, that toilet, that toilet light is working it's magic. Red, green, blue, purple. Whatever you want, it'll alternate. And then as soon as you leave the bathroom, turns off because guess what? It's motion activated.

Rich! Rich! Hey, it's from Amazon. It was 15 bucks. Okay? Invest in a toilet light. I think that's just about all I have for you guys today on this episode of the Brooskey Report. With me, Brittany Broski. your host, Brittany Broosky, and this has been the Brookesky Report.

Please rate us five stars. Go ahead and listen on YouTube. Go and watch us on YouTube if you haven't. So you can see my beautiful set. You can see my beautiful Mickey Mouse clock. You can see my beautiful, um, the, um, my face and all my laptop stickers. They're kind of laptop stickers. And my Elvis Presley, Mike.

There's so much to see. Come join us over on YouTube team. you can see my beautiful second angle, this second camera over here. Hey. And that'll do it for me this week. I am loving you guys and missing you, and we'll catch you next week. Stay safe. Do you have a teenager in your life?

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