The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 24: Let Me Talk To The Aliens

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski powered through her back pain to discuss Lovecraftian Horror and the story of Dracula. Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport  Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski  https://instagram.com/brittany_broski  https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt  Brought To You By: Maybelline – https://maybelline.com  Tinder – download the app now! Dipsea – https://dipseastories.com/broski for a 30-day Free Trial Songs of The Week: Next Level Charli by Charli XCX MONACO by Bad Bunny Call Me Lover by Sam Fender Hypersonic Missiles by Sam Fender Delta by Mumford & Sons Babel by Mumford & Sons #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #lovecraft, #lovecraftianhorror, #horror, #dracula, #arrival, #amyadams, #jeremyrenner

Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brozky. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Welcome back, Broski Nation, to another episode of the Brozky Report. Hey guys, welcome back to another God-willed it. If God can put you to it, he'll put you through it. Okay?

Another God-willed episode of The Brosky Report. I have a full-blown report for you today. Lots to discuss as per usual. I want to go ahead and start out with, hmm, what do I want to hit on first? The Hozier interview came out. So if you haven't watched that, pause this video right now, and go watch my interview with Hozier.

It came out Thursday of last week. And the response has been so, such a beautiful, I just love you guys. Like, that was such a huge moment for me and seeing the comments be like, I feel like I was interviewing him. Like, that's so cute. So I, like, it was such a community thing for like any fans of Hozier or fans of me. You know, that like that was, it was such a big deal. So, yeah, thank you for watching that video.

And if you haven't seen it, please go watch it. We also have a royal court out with Hassan Piker. if you are interested in Hassan Piker, please go watch. And I got a new Royal Court coming out November. Yeah, dude, how is October almost over, by the way? Okay, I don't want this to be one of those podcasts. It's like, okay, the weather, the weather. Shut up!

We're going to talk about Lovecraftian horror today, okay? Okay, so just need to get that out of the way. Three songs. Here are my three songs, four songs, actually. Because I skipped last week because I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. Whoever knows what the fuck I'm talking about. My songs of this week are Next Level Charlie by Charlie X-E-X

Kind of a deep cut, kind of a throwback to her old discography But nonetheless, a great one Monaco by Bad Bunny, okay, because The album, hey, the album? Yeah, yeah, we'll do a little, if y'all are interested, interested in Benito lore I can do a whole episode on what I think about this album. And that bitch cranks out albums like turds.

Golden turds. Good turds. But like, damn, we just had, or no, no, what was before this? Um, verano sin ti. Um, berano sini. I think it might have been. Or did he release something in between? Oh, yeah, I guess it was.

It was 2022. So, yeah, I guess we were due for one. Nadiae save lo, what will passar manana. Yeah, it's good. So Monaco, but. Bad Money is going to be my second song the week. I cannot stop playing this song, dude. It is so good. And Mr. October is very good. All of it, I mean, look, look, it's no skips for me so far. I'm about halfway through the album. It's no skips. That's crazy. Okay, and then the third song is, I'm entering

into my Sam Fender phase. I don't know if y'all are Sam Fender girls. Call Me Lover by Sam Fender and Hypersonic Missiles. Those are like two of his most famous songs. I discovered Call Me Lover because I think it came on a radio station, like a Spotify radio, because I'll do that sometimes. I'm like, I really like this song, started a radio, I want other songs like it. I think it came on a Mumford and Sons recommended one, or like an Arctic Monkeys radio or something like that. And so Call Me Lovers, been on repeat. I fucking love that song.

I would love to see Sam Fender Live. I've seen some of his, wow, my brain is going at 100,000, 7 miles a minute because I had a tropical red bill. Red Beal? Yeah, the tropical red bill. I also threw out my back, I think. One of my 54? My cholesterol's getting high and I threw out my back.

Mieh. Yeah, see? Stay off my line. Okay, so Sam Fender, we're loving Sam Fender. I would love to see him live. I don't know if he's touring right now. Or if he has a woman. Is there a Mrs. Sam Fender?

And then, of course, for number four and five, because I never know how to do just three, because my mind doesn't work like that. ACL, I talked about it last week of like Austin City Limits, the music festival. The lineup for Sunday was literally M83 Nile hosier Mumford and Sons. We saw the Mumford and Suns set, Taylor and I did. And it like electro-shocked me back to 2012, 2013, where all the cool older girls, like at my school, like I was probably a freshman sophomore in high school and they were like seniors.

listened to Mumford and Sons, and they talked about going to ACL and this and that, and like, they just seemed so cool and so, like, boho indie, like, what we cringe at now for, like, millennial whatever, with, like, the owl necklace and the scarves and the infinity scarf, whatever. That was those girls, but I remember thinking, they're so cool. I want to be just like, damn. And there was this one girl who used to listen to Mumford and Sons, like, share headphones. You know, like, people used to do that.

And in high school, like at lunch or whatever, they would share headphones to your iPod Nano. And one day she was like, Brittany, do you want to listen? I was like, be? So I went over. And I was like, yeah. And so we listened. I like, listened and she was listening to Babel by Mumford and Sons. And I was like, I'm going to be just like you one day.

I never was. Anyway, so that's kind of like Babel by Mumford and Sons. That memory, Electroshocks, be back to like 2012 for theater rehearsals. like waiting around for our director to like get his shit together. We would just be kind of chilling in the dressing room. And I remember that. And so it just brings back a lot of fun memories of high school and like the whole indie movement that was going on.

Even like Arctic Monkeys is kind of related to that because in my mind, the Marty Bum and all that was I was listening to that in high school. So I don't know. It's just very nostalgic. And they played their set could not have been any more perfect. It was literally like they played all the bangers. they played some kind of like, oh my God, I remember this song, like, Lover of the Light, Holland Road, Delta, things like that.

And I was like, holy shit. And then they played some songs that I didn't know. And then they did this insane, insane breakdown of House of the Rising Sun. And Marcus Mumford told this whole story of, they were in New Orleans at some music festival, like a jazz festival. And they performed this song. It's a cover of House of the Rising Sun. by the animals.

And he brought out trombone shorthy, I think is his name. And this insane woman who just shredded this guitar. And it was this like the most Mumford and Sons jazz like balls to the wall cover of this song. I was floor. I wasn't even like clapping and singing along. I was like jaw on the floor. I was like, this is live music, bitch. And I think that there's a version on YouTube.

I'm going to freak out if there is. Holy shit there is. House of the Rising Sun live at New Orleans Jazz Fest featuring Salis and Trambo and Jority. Watch this right now. Pause this and watch this right now. It changed my life. The ACL was two weeks ago, three weeks ago.

I'm still thinking about it. There is a level of musicianship that few artists could ever even hope to achieve. This is absolutely no, no hate or no docking to these sort of artists. but it's a different level of musicianship from what Olivia Rodriguez and like Sabrina Carpenter do to what this is, you know? Or like what Hosier does or what Leon Bridges does.

It's just like you have this almost cosmic celestial understanding of what I've talked about before where true artists can look at a slab of marble and say, I see the art within. It's just I've been tasked with removing the excess pieces. That to me is what this level of musicianship is. It's just stupid. They're stupidly talented. And I feel so lucky to have witnessed it. It almost brought tears to my eyes. Me and Taylor looked at each other halfway through and we were like, what the fuck? It was so life-changing.

And it just keeps swelling and swelling and getting just, you thought that, oh, they were maxing it out with the banjo and the trombone. Well, guess what? Here's an electric guitar. And guess what? They're going to do the steel guitar. And it's just like the amalgamation of all these beautiful sounds and everyone is playing them with such beautiful, precise improvisation, if that even makes sense. It's just magic. It's magic. Anyway, go watch this video. And all that to say, my last two songs of the week are Delta and Babel by Mumford and Sons, amongst others, lover of the light, like I mentioned, whispers in the dark. Obviously, the big three, I will wait, Little Lion Man and the cave. So get into Mumford and Sons if you're not.

I just got to chill down my body thinking about Mumford and Sons because I fucking love them. Also, Marcus Mumford, I know you're watching. Marcus. I can't. I'm moving to Ireland with Hosier. I really can't. I know you're interested, but I really can't do it. So please stop calling.

Another order of business before I launch into what we're really fucking talking about today. I got a new tattoo right here, dude. And you can't really see it on these cameras. So I'm going to put it up here. Look, that is on my body. Arbell is the artist who helped me design this. And it was based on one of her flash pieces she did, which is, it's a TV kind of like this,

like a mid-century TV with the end on it, kind of, you're like, well, that's all folks, like that sort of thing. And I saw that and I was like, oh my God, I want that, but what if she could put the Twilight Zone on there? Because I grew up loving the Twilight Zone. Like obsessive love the Twilight Zone. My bathroom in high school was themed like the Twilight Zone.

I got one of those, a shower curtain from Etsy. and then a clock that looked like the spiral and I had like the numbers and the eyes all over. I love the Twilight Zone. And I was like, could you do this? It's very detailed. I don't know if, you know, it would come off how I want it when it's actually on my body.

She was like, yeah, no problem. That's on my body, dude. Arbell's a fucking psychopath beast. She is an insane person. And she did all of Bad Bunny's tattoos, which if you're like into the whole, you know, Instagram tattoo artist world. There's beef, by the way.

There's so much drama in the tattoo world, especially in L.A. Everybody thinks that their gods give to this green earth. And there are some incredibly talented tattoo artists, but some it's like, you're charging me $900 for that. Anyway, Arbell has always been in my mind

one of those artists that's like, how the fuck? She's so young. She's like 22, 23. She's 23. And so I wanted to get tattooed by her for so long. And she did my Coke bottle. we'll put it up here too.

She did my Coke bottle for my dad, because my dad loves Coke, and it makes me think of him. And I literally was like, I've seen your work. I'm so impressed, but I'm just, you know, worried because, you know, that's the whole point of tattoos is they fade, and they become a part of you, and the ink fades away. And at a certain point, it's like, you can't really get it touched up,

the way that it first looked when it's fresh and crisp. And she was like, oh, no problem, dude. And she did it, and it looks like I just got it. Like, it's insane. She's so talented. So she did this one. And it was so like, wow, there's this feeling that I can't really describe it. It may sound kind of cringe when you get a new tattoo that's like, that's exactly what I wanted.

And she nailed it. And it's like that's a part of me forever now. That's going to be on me forever. And like it's a beautiful memory because it's celebrating something that I love, which is Twilight Zone. It's celebrating her artistic style because I sought her out. because I love her style. That sort of hyper-realism with the white shading

and the highlights and the low-it's just, wow. So what an honor. Orbell, shout out. Love you. And I will be coming back. She did all of Bad Bunny's tattoos. Like, insane. Okay, so that was kind of second order of business.

Now, I have some notes here. And I thought about maybe doing this as a YouTube video, as a video essay. But I kind of wanted to talk about it here because I don't really, I know the nature of this sort of mouth to mic to camera to phone pipeline is I'm teaching. And I'm very wary of that because I say this till I'm blue in the face.

I am not a teacher. Do not use this shit as a reference. A lot of this is I'm absorbing information and I'm spitting it out to you because that's the way that I've always been able to learn. The best way to learn is to teach. And that is honestly why teachers in school make you give presentations. And they make you be prepared. And it's to be comfortable speaking to people.

And it's also that's how a lot of people process information. You know, it's like, are you comfortable enough with this information to be able to teach it and answer questions about it? And if you're not, then you haven't done enough study. I'm losing my voice too. So sorry about that guy. Sorry about that. You guys. I'm really, really sorry.

I was screaming all weekend. So, without further ado. I've been watching a lot of YouTube video essays, obviously, about a lot of things. Nardwar amongst others. Nardwar is my special interest, bitch. Nard war is a gift to this lifetime. He's so much more than, you know,

his crazy, wacko interview style that he's known for. Like, he has such a rich and deep and cool history and appreciation for music. And you know that I'm all up in and around that. So Nardwar, I'll talk about Nardwar a different time. So I have been reading up on Lovecraftian horror, which is also called Cosmic Horror. And Lovecraftian, coming from H.P. Lovecraft, who's the author, really popularized this style of horror, which does not have a direct, scary figure that jumps out and scares you.

You know, it's not graphic violence. It's not monsters. It's not jump scares. It's not gore and blood. it's something altogether more conceptual and I think way more terrifying. Now, before I launch into this, just know, like most famous white men I talk about on this podcast, hey, terrible guy, okay? Lovecraft, terrible guy, horrifically racist, horrifically homophobic, a product of his time.

We're talking, you know, this is around the time of World War I, naturally, because that's kind of where my special interest lies is somewhere between 1913 and 1938. That's kind of, for some reason, the bookends of my special interests. Lovecraft, bad guy, okay? Would not consider him or herald him as a figure to look up to

or to dive into his personal life. We're mainly, mostly 100% focusing on his artistic contributions to literature and eventually to film and to culture, because horror and the genre of horror transcend all that. You know, it comes originally from novels and books, adapted into movies, and then even, you know, taking through music and scoring films and things like that.

Like, these ideals carry through a bunch of different mediums. So, Lovecraftian horror is the idea of lending eerie plausibility to the horrors in his stories. The horrors are invisible and indescribable versus the graphic violence or gore that we see usually in horror films like exorcism films or slasher films. The question is what horrors lie beyond the safety of the anthropomorphic creature? In our human minds, there is something terrifying naturally of an anthropomorphic creature, which means resembling human in stature and in build. or it has human characteristics. There's a safety there of, I kind of have an idea or a grasp of what this is

and what it could do to me. Because at the end of the day, I think that's the humanistic fear. What could this do to me? How could it harm me? Am I going to die? Is it going to eat me? Will it be painful?

There's that embedded fear in seeing something that looks like you, but isn't you or isn't human, but it's close enough. there's a safety in that fear. I know this fear. Okay? So now we're talking about something that isn't that. And it lies outside the scope of, you know, it wants to hurt me or kill me or eat me.

What does it want to own me, to breed me? Things that we can't even conceptualize. And I think it goes beyond what would it do to me. There's a larger macroscopic layer here that's like, What does it want with me? Or perhaps, am I so small and insignificant that it doesn't even want something to do with me? Which one's scarier? So let's say in one of these stories, there is an encounter with one of these beings.

If you survive in the Lovecraftian cinematic universe, if you survive, you're not left with a feeling of triumph of, I beat the monster, I made it out alive. Only cosmic indifference. And there's a great YouTube video essay on this called The Terrible Paradox of Intelligence by the Pursuit of Wonder. And it explores this more in depth of like when you've broken through this ceiling of I recognize how small and insignificant my life is. That spiral of just despair of you've broken away from your mundane tasks, doing the dishes, going to work, paying your taxes, da-da-da-da-da. You break away from that into this larger, more philosophical, more existential, what if this is it? What if this is it? Oh my God.

But there's two sides to that coin. What if this is it? I'm going to kill myself. What if this is it? How beautiful. Right? And that's something I always talk about on this podcast because I tend to lean more on this side of how beautiful life is and how simple it is at its core.

I don't know why humans were given the ability to ponder beyond our means. You know, we are the top of the food chain in that sense of, I don't know if giraffes or chimpanzees are pondering the celestial universe. So why were we given that ability with no answer? And you can either land on, you know, there is a creator, there is a God, and he has forsaken us, or there is a creator, there is a God, there is something that put us here to experience all of it. And I always say this, and y'all love to clip it and put it in Hope Corps videos on TikTok. There is so much life to be lived.

And I don't know if that question is ours to answer. What's the purpose? What's the meaning of all this? Why am I here? Why me? I don't know if that's for us to answer. The purpose is to live and have lived a full life. and to look back and not have any regrets and to say,

I made the most of being alive. Because what a small, minute chance that you would be alive right now. Same time as me. Same time as your best friend. Same time as someone you love. What a blessing. And it's not to be taken lightly. And it would be a disrespect and a disservice to the universe

to not take that with the weight of the beautiful weight of what it is. So that's me inserting my own sort of viewpoint into the Lovecraftian conversation. And again, I'm just kind of, I'm riffing here, okay? Don't quote me on this. I'm not a philosopher. I'm not quoting any actual whatever. But there are ties between nihilism and Lovecraftian ideals of this is all meaningless, and we are so small and insignificant.

And when you intertwine that with horror with the idea of, Ooh. In this town we call home. Everyone hail to the pumpkin song. Okay. When Jack Skellington is intertwined into the conversation, the horror truly comes. The horror truly comes from the awareness of the limits of your own humanity and actually how small we are. We think we're these larger-than-life creatures and it's all about us and we're the main character and everyone's NPCs and blah-da-da-da-ya. What if none of that's true? What if no one fucking cares? What if all this is just insignificant?

We are a speck of sand on the beach of the universe. None of this matters. What if? Okay. Now the flip side is what I previously said. What if all of it matters? Because we're that small. All of it matters.

And the meaning of life is to love and be loved. Moving on. I wonder, you know, like when I start going on these rants, I wonder how many of y'all, I lose. How many people are like, she's doing it again? Can you talk about Conno duty again? No, we're talking about H.P. Lovecraft and his contribution to literature in the 20th century. I wonder about the people in my hometown who I went to high school with, I went to middle school with. I wonder about those people that I knew in my youth, arguably I'm still in my youth.

but in my younger youth, I wonder if they ever stay awake at night thinking about this, or if there is a certain level of, you know, there's this whole discourse happening on TikTok right now of like, some of these people online just need to go to college. You know, like, we're on the internet waxing philosophical about the woes and the whatever of our times and the pandemic and whatever. And while, yes, those are important to disqualify. discuss, the internet is not the place to do it. These conversations need to be had on, in academic settings and, you know, in places with kids our age where we can look eye to eye to them and have these

conversations filled with nuance because you cannot communicate nuance over the internet. And I know there's a conversation, there's a position around that whole argument as well that, well, college isn't for everyone. And I don't want to go to college. And college is so far. fucking expensive, you know, and FAFSA is a joke. So I understand that. But that's still to my point of like, there's so much validation and eye-opening to be happened on a college campus or just talking to other people around these concepts through an academic lens.

There's something to be said for that. And I've just, I've seen that a lot lately. And I think it's so interesting because, yeah, you can tell these people, there's a desire to talk about this stuff because it weighs heavy on you. And a lot of kids post-pandemic decided, I don't want to go to college. I don't want to be in school for another four years. This was miserable. Or if you graduated during the pandemic, God bless you.

You know, it's like, why would I get my master's? Why would I do this? It's just, I don't want to. And more power to you, I respect it. But these are heavy times we're living through. And I think college offers a way to digest what we're experiencing. And there's nothing more powerful than knowledge. And to have a history, you know, to be taught history of humanity and see how patterns develop,

I just, I think that, I don't know, I loved college and college changed me for the better. I can't imagine how fucking insufferable I would be if I didn't go to college and I wasn't humbled the way that I was in college. I didn't meet people from different walks of life the way that I did in college. I didn't make the friends that I made in college. It is so hard to make friends as an adult. And I also think it's never too late. It's never too late to go to a community college or just pursue some form of higher education.

It is the most invaluable thing, gift you can give yourself, is just knowledge from a respected and established institution because it's so easy to fall victim to misinformation and disinformation online. I loved my experience and I'm very grateful for it. And I know not everyone has afforded that opportunity or that privilege. And I'm very well aware of that. But I just wanted to, you know, a lot of these feelings that we're feeling as a generation,

we just need to communicate with each other. We just need to put our hands on each other's shoulders and say, I understand. You know, I get it. I get what you're feeling. And have you thought about this? And just create that sort of communication that isn't in the, fucking echo chamber of TikTok. Where no one is listening to learn.

No one is listening to understand. They're listening to argue back. They're listening to willfully and intentionally misunderstand you to create arguments online. These real emotions need to be directed. You know, they need to be had offline amongst peers. Anyway, I digress. And like I said, this is with a disclaimer, okay? I'm not saying, I fully understand that college in the United States of America is a privilege

that a lot are not afforded. And I fully recognize my position in that. And so maybe college, university, remove that from, you know, the conversation. What I'm actually getting at is to have these discussions offline with real life people. And honestly, when I was talking to Hassan, when he came on royal court, he said he made a really good point of like, the internet can feel so heavy and, you know, these arguments and these discourses and whatever, talk to a real person in real life in two weeks. And if they know what the fuck you're talking about, you know, then it's a big deal. If they don't, dude, it's so easy to feel like the internet's the end of the world and the conversations we have on here are life altering. They're not.

You know, what is the most important thing is connecting human to human? And we lost that from the pandemic. And we're still trying to figure out how to recover from that. I feel like HRH collection sometimes because I know that you guys know what I'm saying, but I know that there are people that are going to misunderstand what I'm saying on purpose and flip it back at me and be mad. And that's not what I'm trying to communicate. Anyway, I was going to make a connection between that sort of higher consciousness of understanding that there are things that we will never understand, but still trying to pursue understanding that thing and how that just kind of makes you spiral.

It makes you death spiral. And honestly, for me, it gave me panic attacks. I used to give myself panic attacks because I would think about this shit so fucking hard, just laying in bed. And it was like, my chest is collapsing in on itself. Like, I can't, this can't be it. Like, this can't be it.

And that kind of makes me think of, this is so like, do you guys care? makes me think of Renfield from Dracula. If anyone's ever read Dracula or seen any of the movies about Dracula, there's a character in Dracula named Renfield, who's an insane asylum patient. And he eats bugs and, like, small creatures because he thinks that absorbing their life will make him immortal.

So stay with me, stay with me. Dracula, okay, Dracula, Count Dracula, whose abilities include control over animals, such as rats, bats, and spiders, comes to Renfield with an offer. If Renfield, the patient, worships him, he promises to make Renfield immortal by providing an endless supply of insects and rats,

as Renfield believes that blood is the source of life. Okay, stay with me. There's a connection here. I promise. Sometimes I've always thought this. Are the people that we think have lost their minds, like have lost their fucking minds. You are nonsensical,

you're non-rational, you're unreasonable, you know, we're putting you away sort of thing. Have they reached this sort of higher consciousness? This lovecraftian consciousness of they have been made aware of opened doors through the universe, whatever, that we can't see and we think they're crazy? We think they're crazy, but what if they're right? What if I need to go outside and start eating bugs? What if I need to go eat some spiders so I can live forever? God, being immortal would suck.

Like, honestly, Edward Cullen had a point. Like, Bella, don't. Like, Bella, babe, like, trust me, I've done it. Not for you. Bella, beep, there will be someone else. Like, we can have fun. And when you get old, just die. And I'm still going to be here.

That sucks. Like, the older I get, I'm like, damn, immortality really is a curse. That does not sound sleigh. Because the beauty of life is that it's finite. It's finite. There's an ending. So cram as much life as you can into that life before it's done. And before the cycle starts again.

Edward Cullen, you were right. Edward Cullen apologists. Okay? Yeah, he was toxic. Yeah, he was controlling. But he had a point. Okay. And who's on the other side?

Jacob's a baby kisser. He's a baby diddler. Jacob is sick in the head. Okay? What you got? On one side, toxic, scary, immortal male manipulator. On the other side, baby didler. We'rewolf baby diddler.

Okay? We don't have the best two options. You know who I'm picking? Charlie Swan. You know who I'm picking? The dad. The divorcee dad. All right?

Charlie is the victim in the entire story. When she comes down those stairs, she starts packing her bag. I can't do it anymore. I can't remember. before I'm trapped here like mom she got him she cut Charlie where it hurt justice for Charlie Swan

that is just ridiculous dude how I started talking about toilet oh I was talking about me eating bugs to be immortal oh I was talking about me eating bugs to become immortal like a vampire right right right right yeah so I think I've always thought about that are the people that were like oh they're crazy lock them up do they actually get it

because Renfield was in his cell, like, by the window, like, for bugs and crickets and spiders and whatever, and he would eat them. And he would ask the psychologist or the psychiatrist to give him more bugs. And that was his one request. And he wasn't, like, hurting himself. He wasn't hurting others. He just wanted bugs. Because Dracula, who was very real, promised him immortality if he came.

kept eating bugs. And if he, obviously there's a larger part of the plot that I'm totally skipping out on. But Dracula was real and he was talking, he would come to Renfield's cell window in the form of a bat or in the form of a man and tell him these things. And then Renfield, in earnest, would tell the psychiatrist, he's promised me immortality. You have to trust me. You have to believe me. And he's like, ah, ma, see, they're all crazy. Lock him up. He says he wants a spider. I'll give him a spider. You know, like that, but he wasn't lying. Justice for Charlie Swan and Justice for Renfield from Dracula. If you can, I would read the original, like, Bram Stoker, Dracula.

If you're not a reader, I would watch the movie. The movie from the 80s or the 90s. Let me look it up. Yeah, this one, 1992. This one is so creepy in camp. And guess what? He's hot. Guess what?

Why? What's going on? Yeah, he's hot. Whatever. He's scary as fuck. That's not how I picture Dracula. Dracula to me is like Bella Lugosi. Bellagosi.

This guy. Yeah. That's my Dracula. He's like charming. He's immortal. Because if you're immortal, why would you be old? Like, he would look like this. A long fingernails freak me the fuck out.

On the 1992 version. Hold on. Pull him up again. He's terrifying. God, he's so hot. I'm going to freak out. There can you see his nails? Ew, his nails are so.

so long and disgusting. Also, wait, y'all want some tea. There is a... This isn't tea. This isn't tea. This is a medical diagnosis. There is a syndrome called Rinfeld syndrome,

which is where people drink blood. And it's obviously comedically sort of named after Rennfield because towards the end of Dracula, one of the characters gets cut on the arm and starts bleeding, and Rinfeld like drops to the floor and starts licking the blood

because he thinks it's going to be... A life source. I don't know. Dude. Okay. I didn't write it. Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't fucking write it, dude.

I didn't write Dracula. If I wrote Dracula, it would have been a lot prettier. Okay? And if I wrote Dracula, Robert Danny Jr. would have been Dracula. Okay? If I wrote Dracula, Robert Danny Jr. would have been Dracula. Chris Evans would have been, uh, what's his name? Dr. Seward?

And the girl would have been me. I would have been in it. Okay? And Renfield would have been the fucking guy from Harry Potter. The rat guy. because that's what he looks like in my brain. That would have been my dream lineup cast. And also it would have been animated.

And it also would have been Shrek, okay? Here's anyone. Anyone who is an animator or works for a production company, listen to me when I say this. I want to make an animated Dracula. Okay? Not Hotel Transylvania. We're not doing that.

The storyline of Dracula, Robert Downey Jr. as the Count or Will Farrell. either or Chris Evans as the guy, Dr. Seward, I think is his name. Me as Winona Ryder's character, Mina, and then the Harry Potter guy from Harry Potter, the rat guy, Renfield. That isn't my brain, but it's animated, and also Robert Downey Jr. And I get to hang out and have lunch. Thoughts on that?

Hey, if anybody works out there to animation, thoughts on that? And it's animated in the style of Shrek. Just let me know, guys. I've got so many ideas swirling around in this big forehead. Okay, animated Dracula starring me, me, me, and me. And Robert Downey Jr. You know what? Cole Sprauss will give you a role.

Cole Spouse could actually be Dracula. Okay? Clinical vampirism. Clinical vampirism, more commonly known as Renfield Syndrome, is an obsession with drinking blood. The earliest presentation of clinical vampirism in psychiatric literature was a psychoanalytic interpretation of two cases.

Yeah, we're going to read about this. Very few cases of the syndrome have been described. This is from Wikipedia. And the published reports that do exist describe clinical vampirism as behaviors that are subsumed under more conventional psychiatric diagnostic categories. What did any of those words mean? Such as schizophrenia or parapheria. A case of vamporism in Turkey, reported in 2012,

was discussed as a behavior of a patient diagnosed with DID, which is dissociative identity disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. order. While not referencing the literature on Renfield's syndrome, two Irish psychiatrists surveyed the psychiatric literature on vampirism as evidence of a changing discourse in psychiatry from the narrative of case studies to the depersonalized discourse of checklist diagnostic criteria. I'm bored. Okay, I thought this is going to be tea. I'm bored. Oh, here we go. Ooh. A number of murderers have performed seemingly vampiric rituals upon their victims.

serial killers Peter Curtin and Richard Trenton Chase were both called vampires in the tabloids after they were discovered drinking the blood of the people they murdered you're scary you're scary clinical vampirism in the context of criminal acts of violence as well as consensual vampirism as a social ritual what the fuck you guys are so fucking scared

have been extensively documented in the many works of Catherine Ramsland others have commented upon the psychiatric implications of vampire cults among adolescents Vampire Jack, please. I was live the other day having a fucking episode, Vampire Jack joined. Sent me roses on TikTok live. I looked out.

I'm playing the piano. I looked down, Vampire Jack sent you 30 roses. Hey, hey, shout out vampire jack. Shout out your book. Shout out you, brother. Long time, no talk. Please don't fucking drink my blood.

You actually kind of scare the shit out of me. Hey, vampire, what do you mean? You're a real vampire. That freaks me the fuck out, dude. Hey, Vampire Jack, I was kidding around when I mentioned you on the podcast. You kind of scared me now.

It's all chill, though. It's all good. It's all good. because Dracula would never write a book. He had someone write a book about him, okay? If someone was writing a book about vampire Jack Townsend, I would be fucking scared, okay? Anyway, Redfield Syndrome, the more you know,

that's Lovecraftian horror. Get into that, girl. Get into Lovecraftian horror. Watch a lot of the video essays on it on YouTube. I think it's very, very interesting. And it's also why certain, horror films or TV shows like Birdbox or I would argue, I mean, for the majority of the movie

Quiet Place before you see the actual monster is fucking terrifying. It's because you don't know what it is. And that's the whole gag. That's the whole point is you're not supposed to know what it is. In a quiet place, when it actually reveals what it looks like, it's obviously terrifying. But that, in my mind, is a different type of horror.

It's a different type of film in that moment when you are able to lay eyes on it. The Lovecraftian monster, for lack of a better term, is more a concept. It's described as this sort of all-being, omnipotent, almost like energy with eyes but no eyes. And sometimes it's like a dragon mixed with a squid, mixed with cosmic clouds,

and it's like red eyes but not. It's everywhere, all at once. And it's terrifying because you don't know where it is, you don't know what it is. It doesn't speak to you in a language you understand, but you know to be afraid of it. And what's even more terrifying, I think, is what's the threat? What is the threat? What is it what? What's that movie with, uh, what's your name?

I sound like my mom. Or a movie with Alien. Where she goes to the glass and puts her hand on the glass. You know what I'm talking about? Arrival? Yeah. Yeah. Arrival.

This one freak me the fuck out. Yeah, this one. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, God! Where she thinks that, like, she's talking to these aliens. And it's drawing these symbols and whatever, but you don't know.

Like, you don't know. Her dumbass. Human. Human. It doesn't speak English, Ro! Amy Adams, dumbass. Human. She's in a fucking hazmat suit.

Hey, this alien could rip you apart from your fucking. tendons outward. It could take your rib cage from the power of its mind and just oh! You could be blasted into sand against every corner of the room. Human? Shut up! Human?

Me, human. Are you talking to a fucking monkey, dude? This is an alien. Put me in that room. I would have been able to commit... Put me in a room with Joe Biden. I'll fix all the problems. Okay?

30 minutes alone with Joe. Joe Biden, we're coming out. Everything's solved. 30 minutes alone in a room with this alien from arrival, we would have been working towards a better future together for the entire universe. Okay, you guys are not utilizing me in the positions you need to be. Okay, I'm a diplomatic communicator. I have diplomatic immunity. I don't know what that means. I just know it's a Drake song.

Diplomatic immunity. Diplomatic immunity is a status granted to a diplomat that exempts them from the laws of a foreign jurisdiction. What? That seems illegal. Oh. It allows diplomats to freely express their views, negotiate agreements, and represent their country's interests

without being subject to the host country's legal constraints. That's T. The most common offense among those with immunity is shoplifting. The most serious abuses of diplomatic community come out of debt recovery. Okay. Maybe I don't want to be a diplomat. This movie, I need to be watch. this movie because I'm thinking about it and I'm getting pissed off. Also Amy Adams and

Jeremy Renner dude, no, no. We could have cast this better when it put its, it's starfish, dragon fruit ass, succubous hand on here on the glass and she's like, human. Girl, she's hungry. It is trying to feed on you. You are separated by glass. It's her dumb ass, do you want to? Human H-U-M. It's thinking, just glass tastes so fucking, mm-hmm.

Stupid. I will admit, when this ship arrives, terrifying. This ship right here, scary as fuck, dude. These movies just freak me out. I don't even remember how it ends. Linguistics professor Luis Banks,

Amy Adams, leads an elite team of investigators when gigantic spaceships touchdown in 12 locations around the world. Hey, if that ever, happens, we're dead. Okay, they don't want to establish connection.

They don't want to be friends. They don't want to barter and trade. They want to take over the planet. We are dying. Okay, just accept it. If alien ships touch down, same time, 12 places across the world. Hey, you died. Game over, you died.

Okay? My last final sign off on here would be, oh, what's that? Breaking news? Hello? Oh, 12 alien spaceships just touched down at different. locations all over the globe. Oh, at the same time? Oh, we're dead.

Oh, we died. Okay, yeah, 100%. All right, yeah. No, don't bother sending that over. No, because we're actually dead. We're going to die right now. Okay, love you too. All right, bye-bye.

That's how that would go, dude. There's no fucking talking to the aliens. They're going to kill us. They're going to kill us or breed us. If an alien wanted to breed me, I'd say, ugh. But, like, take me a little. out.

If an alien's like, start sucking on the glass and it's like, I want to breed, I'd be like, ugh, men are disgusting. Okay? Wow. Misogyny knows no bounds. Even the celestial ones.

Fucking annoying. As nations teeter on the verge of global war, Amy Adams and her crew must race against time to find a way to communicate with the extraterrestrial visitors. Hoping to unravel the mystery, she takes a chance that could threaten her life and quite possibly. All of mankind. Damn.

I don't remember how it ends. I'm going to ruin it for you guys. Let's read it. God, this is just going to piss me off because humans are so stupid. Okay, 12 extraterrestrial spacecraft hover over various locations around the earth. In the ensuing widespread panic,

affected nations send military and scientific experts to monitor and study them. In the United States, U.S. Army Colonel Weber recruits banks and physicist Ian Donnelly to study the craft above Montana. On board, Banks and Donnelly make contact with two cephalopod-like seven-limbed aliens, who they call Heptopods.

Donnelly nicknames them Abbott and Costello. Why? Oh, they're a comedy duo from the 40s and 50s. New that. Banks and Donnelly researched the complex written language of the aliens, consisting of palindromic phrases written with circular symbols, and share the results with other nations. Rogue soldiers plant a bomb in the Montana craft.

That's the most fucking. American thing I can think of. What the hell is it? I don't know, sir. Let's bomb it. Let's bomb them to hell. Newk them till they radiate green. Let's nuke these sons of bitches

till they turn green. No, dude. Amy Adams said, stop. I'm going to draw some fucking circles and they're going to talk to us. Guys, stop arguing. We're not going to bomb them. We're going to draw some fucking circles.

Dendom don't know that we don't mean them any harm. Meanwhile, that's... Beep, beep, beep, beep. I hate men. Unaware, Banks and Donnelly re-enter the alien vessel, and the aliens give them a more complex message. Then they start sucking real hard on the glass. Just before the bomb explodes,

one of the aliens ejects Donnelly and banks from the vessel, knocking them unconscious. When they wake, the alien craft has moved beyond reach, and the U.S. military is preparing to evacuate in case of retaliation. Yeah, you fucking dumbasses. Why would you blow it up? They have not struck first. I could be diplomatic relations between us and the aliens, okay?

I would know. If 12 alien ships landed, I would know whether they wanted to trade, breed. Or if they wanted to just, hey, game over. China's general Shang issues an ultimatum to his local alien craft, demanding that it leave China within 24 hours. Russia, Pakistan, and Sudan follow suit. communications between the international research teams are terminated as worldwide panic sets in. Banks goes alone to the Montana craft, which sends down a transport pod.

Abbott has been mortally injured as a result of the explosion. Costello, the alien, explains that they have come to help humanity. How, girl! For in 3,000 years, they will need humanities help in return. That's not true. I mean, I feel like this is real life. That's not true. That's not possible, actually.

No one would ever need humans help. Humans, us fucking monkeys? We can barely wipe our asses right. And they want our help? No. What our instinct, even in this fucking plot, is that we blew it up. What the hell is that? Get down. They're like, you dumb asses, you're not listening.

Just going to be something in 3,000 years. We need you guys to come. I'm going to suck on a glass. It's going to be the whole thing. Emmy Adams come up. Amy Adams, we're going to fix you and breed you. I could do this for a living. I could tell you the plot of movies and my thoughts on them.

Okay? It's going to be like letterbox, but no one cares and it pisses everyone off. What's the opposite of a film, bro? Learning the alien's language alters humans' linear perception of time, allowing them to experience memories of future events. Banks returns to the camp as it is being evacuated and tells Donnelly that the alien's language is the tool that was meant by the word they thought was weapon. She has a premonition of a United Nations event

celebrating newfound unity following the alien arrival in which Shang thanks her for persuading him to stop the attack when she called his private number and recited his wife's dying words. He then shows her his private number. Whoa. In the present, Banks take CIA agent Halpern's satellite phone from a table

and calls Shang's private number to say, whoa. Oh yeah, I kind of remember this. It was like the timeline gets all wonky. This got incredible reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but for me, all I remember is the aliens sucking on the glass, me being like, now girl, how the fuck are you going to know what they're talking about? Be so serious. Wait, I think I notice.

No, you don't. I need to rewatch this. Okay, guys. I think that'll do it for me. Wow, I really took you guys on a whirlwind today. We talked about Lovecraftian ideals, the horrors of the universe, and aliens sucking on glass and breeding me. Thanks for chugging along.

Please go watch Royal Court on the Britney Brosky YouTube channel. Subscribe to this YouTube channel. If you don't watch the podcast on YouTube, it is on YouTube. I have a full beautiful set that you can come watch, put on your TV as you're, I don't know, doing whatever you do. Okay? I'm here to help. Not really, but I'm here to keep you company. Okay?

Love you guys.