The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 3: Steal From Company Time

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

This week on The Broski Report: Coachella is overrated, steal from company time, and Brittany is reading Sylvia Plath!https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireporthttps://instagram.com/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broskihttps://instagram.com/brittany_broskiThis episode is brought to you by: https://www.hellofresh.com/broski16 https://pdsdebt.com/report

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.

This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brodsky. Hello and welcome back to The Brookesky Report with me, your host. Brittany Brosky, the host of the Brookesky Report podcast starring me, Brittany Brosky. It's been a long time, guys. It's been a week. But little do you know. I've been here the whole time. I sleep here. I sleep in this chair under the table.

I've been drinking the same cup of coffee for the last three weeks. Episode three, guys. Every middle-aged mom at a bar. It's my favorite bit to do. Okay. A lot to talk about today, guys. We're going to be talking about festivals. We're going to be talking about festivals.

Just not rocketed out of my nose. So that's awesome. If the mic picked that up. Oh my God, there's so much spit on the mic. And I am sorry about that. And I am sorry. I'll apologize. Okay.

Because I forgot the first episode and I will never, ever forgive myself, we're going to do our top three songs of the week. So let's get that out of the way. Number one, re-re by young Miko. Okay? Get into Young Miko. I'm so sick of telling y'all to get into Yomiko. How many times I have to repeat myself?

Damme contacto What are the lyrics? Damme contacto Andigo te abla So good I love that song Sintosa by Pezo Pluma is number two

Today Wait no, no, what is it? This is my Pezo Plum impression So I'm a warrior Of the Barrio Mexican Oh, boy

I love him. Okay. Number three, ding, ding, ding, ding, you guessed it. Phone numbers by Dominic Fike. We'll get into Dominic Fike later in the episode, okay? Because I know some of you just started salivating, and that's valid. And we'll talk about it in a second. So now get your panties in a wad, okay?

Unwad the panties. The bloomers, if you will. Okay, I need to address, I am wearing. a pleasing sweatshirt. What, am I just like not going to wear a pleasing sweatshirt? I have to, babe. I don't make the rules. Okay?

I love pleasing. So I am ripping that today. Thank you. Okay. Before we move on, big news, guys. I wanted to welcome all of the girls, gays, and now, now welcoming into Broski Nation officially, as of May 2023, the they's. Listen, gay people were only admitted

about a few months ago. Non-binary people. Hi people. The Sean Mendes clip. Hi people. You guys are so welcome. Come on it. Favorite bit on TikTok is to be like

gay people are now welcome. And everyone's like, well, girl, what the fuck was I doing here before? Girl, have I been living? here illegally? Yes. Okay. Moving on. Originally in Broisky Nation, it was only me and the men that I would like to mate with, right? We only led in women later. And then everyone else kind of came after that. So you guys are, we're making strides. We're making strides in Brokeke Nation. We are, in the middle of our eighth civil rights movement, civil rights movement. And it's going swimmingly.

So welcome, welcome people. Hi, people. Okay. Now we got, we got that out of the way. Let's get into it. So we were talking about music, my three songs of the week. Speaking of music, I wanted to talk about festivals. Because I think at my ripe age of 26, I, I am over it. I am deeply, deeply over music festivals. And specifically, like, for anyone who's ever wanted to go to Coachella, because, listen, growing up as a Tumblr child, as a young woman on Tumblr.gov,

I wanted nothing more in my entire life than to go to Coachella Valley, to go to the Empire Polo Club and go to Coachella Music Festival. Now listen, I have been twice, and it is so, so deeply, deeply overrated. It is so overrated. And I'm hoping to put anyone who has FOMO, who has always wanted to go to Coachella, let me paint a picture for you really quick of what it actually is like to be at Coachella. Yicki! So buckle up.

If you're driving, unbuckle. If you're driving, unbuckle that seatbelt, put your legs up and close your eyes. Because we are going for it. Okay. Yeah, it's very overrated and I was very underwhelmed. Overwhelmed and also underwhelmed. So let's get into it. This year alone, literally back to back, and I did it last year too.

Coachella weekend one, you skip a weekend, and then it's literally stagecoach. And it's at the same place. Stagecoach is a music festival for country music, a country music festival that takes place at the same grounds that Coachella does. And somehow in six days, they swap it from being Coachella with like seven different stages to Stagecoach with two stages and like it's completely transformed. It's so weird how they do it. That grass is so fucking dead. And did you know that dead grass is hay? I thought hay was something different. So let's get into it. I have a whole, I literally have 10 complaints that let's get into.

Number one, it is implied and understood that when you go to a music festival, hey, you're going to be drunk, okay? You're drinking, you're gulping, you're slurping, you're sloshing, you're gagging, you're choking, you're vomiting, okay? Maybe the last three aren't related to drinking, but they could be. Depends on who you are. it's implied that you're going to be drinking. That's a dangerous thing.

You are out in the desert, okay? There aren't any music festival. You're out walking around in the sunlight. Listen, my pale skin, I don't usually see sun. And so to have 11 hours of uninterrupted sunlight on my skin, immediately I'm sunburned. I can douse myself in sunscreen the very beginning of the day. And immediately by 3 p.m. I am a lobster.

I just like if you're not used to that also just in general like being outside for that long my allergies go crazy okay I have a weakened immune system I know in the last episode I said that I'm stronger than a bull but maybe I lied have you ever considered that maybe I lie sometimes I have been known to lie on occasion when it suits me First of all, the pregame. Okay, everyone at Coachella, you pregame at someone, oh, somebody has a house. Somebody did this. Somebody did that. Girl, the first year, we stayed at a homewood inn and in-sweets.

Because I don't care. Also, the Homewood Inn and Suites for that weekend was $2,500 for three nights. What the fuck are you talking about? A Homewood Inn and Suites, usually, what, $100 a night? You're smoking crack. and we bought a shuttle pass, $77 each, smoking. It's outrageous. So this year I went with, you know, or you love her, Drew F. Wallow and her family.

And we rented a house. We rented an Airbnb. And it was comfortable, but it was so fucking expensive. It was so expensive. And then we had a car drive us around, so expensive. But it was worth it because honestly like I am so, listen, we're a bunch of big girls.

The last thing I want to do after walking around all day is guess what, walk home. I'm not doing it. I would rather pay $1,000 for a fucking Uber to sit in traffic for two hours to take me a mile than walk home. I'm not doing it. Which brings me to my next point, walking. I'm a big girl. I chafe. Chafing, chafing, raw.

That's the name of my autobiography. Chafing and Raw. On top of the chafing and like sweating in places that should never be sweated in and the sweat rolling down my back and the underboob sweat and the sunburn is blisters, first of all, in places that are unmentionable. And then also picking out what to wear. Coachella used to be such this like Vanessa Hudgens, Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Kylie or like fashion show, girl, you're lucky if I wear something other than that damn, Forever 21,

a button up black dress and a Pedro Pascal T-shirt. I don't care. I could not care less. If I'm not comfortable, everybody's miserable. I will make sure everyone's miserable. Not really. But it's true. It's like if you're feeling insecure or you're not comfortable, it's so much walking.

It's so hot. It was 101 degrees. It's just like, and then, oh, by the way, a water bottle, $6. What the fuck are you talking about? And then that brings me back to my first point. You're drinking, you're drinking, you're drinking. Okay, everybody's drunk. Woo!

Let's get in the car. Let's go. We arrived with the festival. Immediately I'm pissing my pants. And it's that level of like, if I don't pee right now, you will have to call in an airstrike because I am about to do something illegal that will affect everyone in there,

in the area. Okay? Like, it's when you have to piss so bad that it's painful. You're like, oh, you can't straighten up all the way. And then there's porta-potties. Guess what? There's a line for the port-a-potties. It's just like, it's hell.

It's my personal hell is arriving to a music festival after drinking. It's just like, my bladder already is the size of a lima bean. And you're going to stick me in a car with 17 other people with seven white claws in my stomach. I have a gun. I have a gun. I'm not afraid to you. Holy shit, dude. I have to pee so bad.

Okay. So we get into the festival. Guess what? I peed. Now I'm thirsty. I need a water. And I have a hangover. The first Coachella I went to was Harry Chella.

First of all, what the fuck? I can't believe I was there. Second of all. By 7 p.m. We had been drinking since 10.30 a.m. By 7 p.m. I was hungover. hungover like migraine hungover 7 p.m. He didn't go on until 11. I laid there in the grass and cried. And I said,

can everybody? Can everybody shut the fuck up? It's Coachella. The loudest music festival ever. Hey, no one's going to shut up. I was like, can everyone just for like 10 seconds? Just stop talking. It was terrible because I didn't know how to pace myself. It was awful. And I wasn't rink in enough water. And then it's expensive to keep up your drunk as well. Like, and then you have to pee. again, it's just an impossible situation. There's also just so many moving parts, like, especially when you're with a bunch of people. Like, we were with a big group, and that's so much fun. And luckily, like, Drew and I are the same person, and it's really scary, actually,

because we are literally the same person. Everything that I wanted to see, she wanted to see, and vice versa. And luckily, everyone we were with were just kind of like, yeah, whatever. So we got to see everyone I wanted. So did Drew. but like the previous year, I was there with Christel, Fiona, Crestall, Sarah Baskas, Rumi, and one of my good friends. And it's like, we would try to meet up with each other for certain sets, but there's no service because there's so many fucking people. And it's impossible to meet up with someone.

Like, it's literally impossible to meet up with someone and to have a good spot in the crowd. Forget about it. And so it's like, some people want to see this person. but you want to see this person and it's like, are you the one that folds? And it's like, okay, I only came to Coachella to see this one person. Do I just not see that? It was just like, that's, that's a whole other thing is if you're with a big group, you have to make concessions. Blisters, of course. I'm a big girl. I got big feet and I got big shoes. And guess what? They're going to rub on me. They're going to rub on me. Another one is I see, because I have eyes, a lot of hot young

gentleman. Okay? I see a lot of hot young gentlemen. Hot performers, hot attendees. And I've said it once and I'll say it again. I'm horny online. One thing about me, I'll be horny online. And I am. And I'm horny in real life too. And so I go to these festivals and I'm just, I could hump a pillow. I could hump the corner of a counter, dude. It's just terrible. It is, it is just God awful. And so here I am. I'm at Coachella. And who else is in front of me other than Dominic Fike? Hey, Dominic Fike. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers

discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farm's pasture-raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture.

Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

Dominic Fike. And if you're interested in seeing who the... that is, do not look up his name on Google because the first picture that pops up is a jump scare and he doesn't look like that. This is what he looks like, dude. He is a beautiful specimen of a young gentleman. Okay, now who the fuck is Jessica? Now, I don't know about that. I don't know who Jessica is. Hey, Lizzo. Oh, my God. Okay, so Dominic Fike. He came out and he kept doing this thing, like he, whatever Mike that is in this picture, I'm showing a still image. of Dominic Fike on the YouTube channel

if y'all would like to come check us out on YouTube.gov. He kept doing this thing during his set because me and Drew and Dason and my friend Katie, we just sat down in the grass. We were watching his set and it was so good. Because I'd never really listen to any of his music before. I knew that one, the motel. It's three nights.

That song. That's Dominic Fike. Didn't know that. And so I'm singing along. damn. And then in between songs, he would do this thing with the mic where he would do this kind of DJ like track, like scratch something, but it would also be autotune, but also really like glitchy radio sound. And he would say, coachella, and I was like, okay, that's itching my brain very deep. It had its fingers in my brain like this. And it was, he's so talented

and beautiful and good looking and talented and hot and good looking and handsome and good looking. Another thing, dude, is, okay, so you're walking around the festival, right? It's the end of the day. Everyone in the group is kind of like, yeah, maybe we should go home. And I'm like, oh, my God, the only thing I want is to stand nude in a shower. I would like to strip everything that is touching my person right now, throw it into a garbage can and stand in the shower. And then you get home and you do just that and you stand in the shower and you could be in there for an hour and a half and you still would not feel clean.

Like there is just something about being in a festival. It's like there's dirt in all my crannies and all my nucks. It's in my earlobes. It's on the back of my neck. It's behind my ears. I just feel so, like I've been out on the farm all day. Like I've been just ranching all day. it's just like, I never feel clean.

And that makes me have a freak out. If I don't feel clean, oh my God, in the sand blowing in your teeth, you just like grit down on it. It's like chewing on salt. Anyway, this is a lot of complaining. So, uh, I will, I will say. I will say. First of all, what a privilege it is to be able to go to Coachella. Also to be like the first year I was sent by a brand crazy.

And despite kind of like all the people there that maybe you don't want to see, just like really insufferable creators, or just like people that are like, why are you here? You know, I just, I didn't want to see you here. People like that. On top of that, it's a great place to see your friends because a lot of, especially like all my creator friends that I'm actually really good friends with, like who live in the L.A. area, everyone goes.

and it's an excuse to see them if I haven't seen them in a long time. But on top of that, like, it's a great little moment to see your favorite artists do a sort of best hits set. Because when you go to their concert, you know, it's like an hour and a half, two hours long, it's like, oh, I like the song. I don't really like that song. Why did they play this one? I don't know, whatever. When it's a festival set, they have one hour. They have 59 minutes and 59 seconds.

bitch, you better believe they're playing the best hits. Rosalia did her set, the perfect set. It is the most perfect set. I have, like, genuinely, the next episode is going to be about Rosalia. I can't take it anymore. The next episode is about Rosalia. I'm going to go into detail why I love her. We're going to dissect her projects.

And, God, I wish I could play music because I would love to give audio references. But y'all just will have to go listen to do it on your own. Rosalia is one of the most innovative and commanding, like, stage presences and, and, like, a visual storyteller that I have ever seen. She tells a story through the dancers through, I mean, the set list in itself is a fucking artistic marvel, how she transitions in between songs, the choreography, the camera work, like, all of it is just, it's just art. And I could watch it, every day until I die, and I would be content. I would never get tired of it. I love her so much. Like all the bullshit with Coachella and feeling dirty and exhausted and

pissing on myself and it's all worth it for to see her set and also to see Charlie X, X, X's set. Holy fuck, by the way. And Bad Bunny. Those were the three that I was like, if I don't see them, Airstrike. I am drone strike. this whole desert. So yeah, I think that for anyone who's like, when you go to Coachella, hey, go to a different festival. Because the same artists that perform at Coachella

do their rounds at all the festivals, like go to one near you. There is nothing special about Coachella other than people like hype it up to be that. Because I honestly looked at this and I was like, oh, well, you know, Coachella's the biggest one in the country. It's not. Summerfest in Wisconsin has a million attendees.

the fuck? I didn't know that. ACL in Austin has more attendees than Coachella. ACL has 450,000 attendees. Coachella only has 250,000 only. Anyway, I think Coachella is so overhyped, and I think that it was like sold to us as teenagers of like anyone who's anyone, is it Coachella. Hey, no, they're not.

Because I was there. Hey, I was there. This episode is brought to, you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential Savings. will vary, not available in all states or situations. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They live in their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know.

You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com Vital farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately to totally pivot. To totally, hey, we're not talking about Coachella anymore.

I've been thinking a lot about what era do you think you belong in based on your features. Like what era in history were your features heralded? You know what I mean? Or like where do you think that you would really thrive? For example, not to keep bringing up Drew, but I love her and I will. So fuck off, bitch. It's my podcast. It's the Brosky Report.

It's not the You Report. I see Drew in like a late 80s, early 90s rom-com with like big curly hair and like those those like siren lashes. And she's in like a flowy dress on a beach. But she's in a rom-com. She's the lead. That's my fantasy. I see her in that so fucking.

clearly. Bitch she would say they. I see myself, however, either as a Roman soldier, because I have a Roman nose with a big, with a hump in it, as a Roman soldier fighting to the death in the Colosseum, or being drowned to death in the Coliseum, because they used to put water in Coliseum. J'all know that? The more you know. They used to have like, oh my God, I love Roman history. They used to put like full on battleships in the Coliseum, fill it with water, and they would have full on, oh my God, we need to bring that bag. Bring back the Coliseum. We need to restore the Coliseum to its once beautiful and we need to the, the Coliseum is in Rome. And I did think Vatican city was a country until late high school.

Because it's like a city state or something. Whatever. Okay, so we need to bring back the Coliseum and bring back, instead of fighting wars, we should have one country be one battleship and another country be another battleship. But it's not actually on the sea. It's in the Coliseum and they only get one boat. And whoever sinks the other boat, you win. That's it.

Or we should have that country's leader fight the other. country's leader, gladiator style, only with swords and they have to wear those silly little tunics. Yeah, and I'm, I'm going to sit there like this and man spread under the table. I'm going to lean back in my chair, and I'm going to man spread, and I'm going to have some man feed me grapes and fan me with a palm leaf, and I'm just say, yeah, yeah, international conflict, solved. Put me, this is why I have my own nation, okay? I play by my own rules. If there is an enemy of the state, Bro Ski Nation, right, is the state, you will be tried before the council. The council is me and whoever I feel like putting on the council that day.

You'll be tried before me and the council for war crimes. And I get to determine how you're tried. So maybe you have to be on an episode of, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Okay, and that's how we see. Are you guilty? Are you smarter than the fifth grader? Because if you're not smarter than a fifth grader, you're not guilty.

Okay? Because you're not smart enough to do the crime. If you are smarter than a fifth grader, you're going to fucking prison. You're a rotting in jail, you sick psychopath.

I also think that we should bring back lions. We should bring back having lions mull people to death. If you have disrespected the state, if you have

disrespected brookination or if you are public enemy number one, guess what? We're capturing you. A lion's going to maul you. And then we're going to cook you and cook the lion. Then we will have a lion meat feast.

But guess what? We're not eating you because you're too acidic. Because you drank fucking Diet Coke. Speaking of which, what is going on with the Diet Coke Renaissance team? Everybody loves a D.C. Everybody loves a D.C. Let's go to the gas station and get in D.C. I see so many TikToks of people, corporate girlies, having a little like

DC break in New York or Chicago or whatever, and they literally will leave their high-rise, whatever, period. And you better steal company time. If you take one thing away from this episode, it is to steal company time. You need to be on the shitter during company time. You need to be taking personal calls during company time. You need to be making Diet Coke runs. Take an hour and a half lunch break. Steal from company time. They don't care if you live or die, okay? usually in corporate America, you are a warm body in a desk. You are a warm body in a roly chair. Okay?

Also, understand this. If you're in college, if you're in high school, whatever, do the absolute bare minimum at your job. Do the bare minimum. Because if you do more work and you work hard, guess what? People are going to give you more work and you're going to have to work harder. So do the bare minimum. because there is no reward. You don't get rewarded with more pay.

You don't get rewarded with more vacation time. You don't get rewarded with anything other than, oh, you know what? You're doing pretty good. We're going to give you a harder and heavier workload. Who fucking wins there, the company, the man, do the bare minimum. That way, when you do anything above the bare minimum, guess what? You're going to get a raise. Because they're like, wow, we've really seen a change in you, a drastic change.

because you're doing 10% more work, guess what? That's when it's time to ask for a promotion or a raise. You start out minimum expectations because they know not to expect shit from you. You get the work that's been assigned to you, you get that done, and you do nothing else. Can you come in on the weekend?

Can you do it? Nope. No, I cannot. Can you pick up my shift? Nope. I cannot. Have boundaries because that is how they take advantage of college kids. Holy shit.

I was taking advantage of so hard because I was bright, hide, and bushytailed and ready to work, bitch. And guess what? They drained the fucking life out of me. They hooked up that corporate eye to be to my bloodstream. They fucking drained it.

The succubes. They drained me dry. Anyway. Yeah, if you're entering the workforce, bitch, don't work. Do the absolute bare minimum. And have a great attitude. That's the secret.

do the smallest amount of work, but be charming so that people won't realize that you're stealing how many time. Okay, so this is my homework for you if you work in corporate America or any desk job. Take an extra long bathroom break today and have some fun on TikTok. Just scroll on TikTok, have a good giggle. All right? Maybe go get a Diet Coke. Go get a Rosalea Coke from the 7-Eleven. And if your break is 15 minutes, make it 25. Okay? If you get yelled at, so fucking what? Because if you get fired, I think you get severance.

Right? Or is that only if they let you go? I quit and then got fired from my insurance job. When I was an insurance agent, I was so fucking miserable. I was so fucking miserable. I was so fucking miserable. That at the end, I literally, because I used to call in and make shit up, I'd be like, oh, my car's not working and it's too far to Uber.

Or I'd be like, oh my God, my grandma, something. And they'd be like, all right, well, come in when you can. Like, we're still expecting you to come in. I'd be like, yeah, I don't think I'm going to make it. Yeah, you know what, boss? I don't think I can do it today. And then it turned into, uh, I would just no call, no show. and I would be laying out by the pool at my apartment complex because I was so fucking over it.

I was burnt out. They sucked me dry. I said, I don't give a fuck about you. I don't give a fuck about myself. I'm going to lay by this pool and get a tan because it's the only thing keeping me from not killing myself or moving back in with my parents. I was so over it and I was so low on money and I was just like, girl, anything, anything is better than having to get ready for work and drive my ass.

to my job. I was that miserable. And so I put in my two weeks on days that I decided to come into work. That first day, I came back after the pool day, I walked up to my boss and I said, here's my two weeks. And he said, okay, well, we still expect you to show up for work. And I was like, yep, uh-huh, for sure. I'm not. I was winking at him. I was like, uh-huh, I'll show up. Yeah, you never worry about me. It was two weeks. I showed up maybe one. once the next week. And then I get a call from HR that said, hi, Brittany.

Um, yeah, we're going to have to let you go because you haven't showed up to work in four days. And I said, and I thought that I was going to get severance. I didn't. Because I put in my two weeks first. And part of me was like,

fuck, I need to keep this job for good references and whatever. I don't want a reference from. any of the fucking scary scumbags that worked at that first job I had. I like literally die. So I was like, this isn't even worth it. I don't want to preserve any of these relationships. The only relationships I wanted to preserve were with my coworkers who were just as miserable as me because we trauma bonded. It was so much fun. I do miss them. I miss that. I miss having coworkers that you can be like, bitch, listen. Because we insurance is some tea, bitch, like life insurance

and then people adding random people to policies. And it's like, that's his mistress and the wife didn't know and the premium went up. Or, you know, a stepdaughter was found with a, it's just so tea. And so I do miss that of like sharing the tea with other people or getting really angry messages from clients and then sharing them with coworkers and laughing. Because girl, I don't give a fuck. You're mad at the company? I hate the company too. I'm on your side.

Anyway, God, I do not miss customer service. Anyone who's out there working customer service, you are one of God's warriors. You are a prayer warrior, babe. I am rooting for you in whatever you choose to do. Anyway, where did that even come from? Oh, I'm saying, feed them to the lions. Yes, so we're going to feed enemies of the state to the lions. Hope that helps.

Yeah, so I think I belong. in Roman times or maybe like Victorian England, Victorian United Kingdom. Because I am just so ghostly white. And people always say I look British. What the fuck does that mean? I know what it means. Big eyes, tiny lips, right? Kind of Pillsbury doughboyish body and face.

You could really look like anyone because you're just kind of a fleshy sack. I think that's at my base. I just look very Caucasian. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it.

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No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine, all. year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com

slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified B Corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Okay. So to wrap up, not to wrap up, but I do want to kind of, I'm reading a book. Yes, guys, I taught myself how to read. I say that every time I talk about books because I can finally read. I started The Beljar by Sylvia Plath.

And for all of the, I don't even know how to like accurately describe what the side of TikTok is, or I guess what the movement is, it's like incredibly intense anti-capitalist neo-feminism, I think is the proper way to describe it. like borderline communist, very anti-capitalist feminism. And Sylvia Plath is always like, it's one of those things. It's like, do you even if you eat so?

But Sylvie Plath was a poet who only wrote, I think, one or two novels, the bell jar being one of them. And she actually had a very tragic ending. She was incredibly young, and she did take her own life. but it's one of those devastating things of like if you could only see how much your art, if she was alive today, if she could only see how much her art has affected so many generations of women. Because she, this book was published in the 50s, I believe.

And it's just awful. You know, it's like if she could only see, even like me personally, I'm so affected by this book. And it's literally like she's just like, me for real. It's that sentiment of she captured the essence of what it is to be a woman. And it's scary to think that, you know, that hasn't really changed much since the 50s. And this book in a lot of ways is, I think, very ahead of its time because in the 50s, it was a very, you know, I think about when I talked to either of my grandmothers, it's like they're very

complacent with being a woman in a man's world. They're fine with it. That's how they were brought up. That's what they know. That's their truth. And they don't really question it. You know, there is no point in trying to fight it because that's just how the world is. And I, to my core on a cellular atomic level, reject that with everything in me. And so it's very frustrating. Talking to women who were growing up during that period. You know, like my grandmothers were born in the 40s. And so to have that really just drilled into them of like, you are on this planet to serve men,

to make your man happy, to help your man with whatever he needs, and he will in turn provide for you. You know, that's just how it works. And they tolerated, not specifically my grandmothers, but I know of, they tolerated being beat on,

you know, and being taught down to. and oh, they're there, you know, like all that shit. It's like they lived it and they never questioned it because positive reinforcement. Sylvia Plath, it is so, I don't know if jarring is the right word, but refreshing to read this set in the 50s, written in the 50s, and to kind of immerse yourself in that societal, the societal norms of 1950s culture of a woman's role and a man's role, quote unquote, and to see how deeply it disturbs her. She talks a little bit in one section about how she's never met a man who hates women

in the sense of like, you know, you know they exist and whatever, but she's never been eye to eye face to face with a man who fucking hates women. You know, like the scary type of man. And she, part of the story is telling her interaction with this man that, It's very scary. You guessed it. And it just kind of reinforces her whole worldview of just being a feminist in a time that there wasn't really a place or, you know, loud need for it, I guess, or desire for it. Because a lot of women at the time are very complacent.

But obviously, I'm speaking in incredible generalities because neo-feminism did happen in women's rights and all that. Like, this is very, very, like this book. And outside of the feminism, as a person, as a narrator, the narrator of the book is very deeply depressed, I think is what we would call it today. And just feel so out of place and feels so misunderstood and like she's floating through life. And it's all just very passive, you know, like almost a dream. state of just, okay, yeah, that happened, that happened. Nothing really, she never feels alive. And it's this dichotomy of her mindset of she feels simultaneously better than everyone that she

talks to. She feels smarter than them, but at the same time, very deeply insecure, which I kind of, I can relate to in a certain sense. Not that I think I'm better than everyone, but, you know, there are instances where it's like, I'm the coolest person in the room. And then other times it's like, I am a worm in the ground. And I should be stepped on

because I'm just a little worm. Like you feel about two feet tall sort of thing. And I just, she captures it so beautifully of what it is to be a woman and how exhausting it is and your body and your hair. And you're not being the prettiest, but you're not ugly.

And where do I fit? What's my purpose? What's my role? I only as a person, but like I'm limited by what I am as far as the things I can do, the things I want to do. I just, I am really, really enjoying it. And I understand it's the worst.

You know, when an author, when a book or when a song or an artist has a reputation where it's like, if you listen to that, you're that. Or if you read that, you're this. And it's always insufferable. If you listen to Alex G, you're this. If you listen to deaf tones, you're that sort of person. It's just like, I hate that I'm. reading it and I'm like, she's just like me for real.

Because it's like, girl, does that make me a Sylvia Plath? Sympath? If so, fuck it. I love it. I'm really, really enjoying it. And I'm going to read her poetry. I'm going to buy one of her poetry books. Hey, after I finish.

And also because what's life without balance? I'm going to read this really like feminism core book. book and then I might read Colleen Hoover after it. Which is like, I have to read Barity by Colleen Hoover. I don't give a fuck what you bitches have to say. Is she the worst? Probably. Okay?

But I love, I love that sort of shit. I love a toxic relationship. I want to see them flirt and fight with each other. I love a good, messy storyline. And that doesn't mean you endorse it. it doesn't mean you're okay with it. It means I want to read it because it's fucking T. Jesus.

Okay. Anyway, yeah, no one spoil the bell jar in the comments because I'm going to finish it. And I'll have thoughts. Okay? All right. I think that's it for me today, team. Sorry, I got a little serious at the end there. Sometimes you just got to go with the current.

You got to ride the wave. You got to ride the current. You got to, Whoa. Whoa. You know? You got to, my glasses. What's what you got to do? All right.

Be sure to check us out on YouTube. If you haven't, or if you're thinking about it, if you're dilly-dallying around, go put us on on YouTube in the background. I don't know who us is. It's me and all my girls. It's just me, me and the nation. Go watch us on YouTube, subscribe with the YouTube channel.

rate us five stars and listen on Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts. I don't know if Samsung has podcasts. You can go ahead look on there on the App Store, Play Store. And I love you guys very much. And stay safe and make good choices. Bye. You started your business with a great idea and a ton of hustle. Let Gottprint.com help you look the part. Grow your business by getting professional marketing that works. Need business cards before a networking event? High impact postcards for a promotion or sleek signs for your storefront? We offer a huge selection, reliable quality, and low pricing.

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Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com. On this episode of Plant Killers, we'll explore one nation's most notorious fruit and vegetable killer, bad dirt. What makes bad dirt so bad? The answer? The ingredients. But fear not true crime enthusiasts.

This story has a happy ending. Miracle grow organic raised bed and garden soil. It's made with quality organic ingredients from upcycled green waste like compost and aged bark. Unlike the other guys who can't. the same. Looks like bad dirt's murdering days are over. Thanks to Miracle Grow. Join us next time on plant killers.