The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 38: Having a Literal Meltdown Over Meeting Beyonce

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski talks about meeting BEYONCE, Texas’s own Razzoos, and her return to 2014-core. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport  Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski  https://instagram.com/brittany_broski  https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt  Brought To You By:Dipsea – Get a 30-day free trial at https://dipseastories.com/broski Tinder – Download the app now #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #beyonce, #blueivy, #trixiemattel, #cecred, #razzoos, #cajun, #arianagrande, #frankiegrande

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.

This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brosky. I am going to try my absolute hardest not to cry during this episode, but I will fail. I will tell you that right now. This is not me being funny. or dramatic. Um, I just met Beyonce. And, um,

I met Beyonce, literally not even an hour ago. And, um, she was everything that I ever thought she would be. Like, that's my, like, number one, dude.

Like, there's not, there's not much else, like, in this life that, and like, maybe I'm being dramatic, but like,

when you're me, when you're someone like me, where like you spend your whole life loving something and like having those things inform who you are as a person. Like when you get to meet that and you get to like talk to that person, it's just like there's not, there's not really words for what it means and there's not like I don't really know the right emotions to feel, but it's just like. Okay, so Beyonce, um, Okay, so let me kind of contextualize, um, can we get a tissue? Can we get a tissue on set? Oh, it's just me that works here. Oh, right, I'm the PA. Oh, I'm the PA and glam and tech.

Hey guys, uh, welcome back to the Bursky report, starring me, your host, Brady Berski. I just came back from, uh, um, hey. I just came back from Beyonce's, um, hair line launch. My nipples are out, okay? My fucking tits are out because the theme was all white. And so me and Drew went, of course, because that's my sister in Christ. That's my Virgo sister. And we went and it was so beautiful, first of all. It was so locked down.

They didn't even tell us where it was until like two hours before. All they told us is it's an all white, like we're all white event. Not all white. Only white people at the Beyonce event. You wear all white and show up and show up early because they're closing the doors early. And I was like, oh, shit. So we show up super early. We see Bretman.

We see Remy and Alicia. We see all the girls. And it was so cute. And it was so well done. And I'm just so like, this isn't even me like sucking the corporate dick. It's like I'm so excited for this brand because when you have someone, like Beyonce or even like a Rihanna and a Fenty. It's like someone who is so perfectionist in their art and their craft,

they would never spend all that time developing a product or a line and not put their heart and soul into it. Like you know it's going to be good. And I don't even mean that as like, you know, oh, she's a celebrity. No bitch. Like her story of like growing up singing in the salon like that her mama worked at. like she grew up in that environment. And especially as a black woman, hair care is so culturally important.

And so I think that everything leading up to this release, this launch, this moment, it's just been handled with such grace and care. And it was, first of all, first of all, what the actual fuck that I'm invited. I mean, I know I don't shut the fuck up up about Beyonce online. Like, that's kind of clear. Like, I never really shut the fuck up about anything. But specifically, Beyonce, she's had her mom, even before, you know, Act 2 was announced.

It's like, I don't shut the fuck up about Beyonce. They reached out and I was like, there's no way. And so Drew and I go. And so she does her little, we're waiting, we're waiting, you know, we get drinks and all that. She comes out. She's just walking through the crowd. She does her little speech of like, thank y'all so much for coming. And this brand means so much to me.

This journey means so much to me. She told her story. And Miss Tina was there, of course. And Mrs. Blue Ivy Carter was there, of course. And she leaves. And then there's kind of this little, like, ballroom moment where it's a hair show. And they come out and there's an MC. And, you know, it's, they had different designers come out and do sort of, like, hair art.

It was gorgeous. It was beautiful. And, of course, they played Rupil. RuPaul. And then that was kind of it. You know, the show was over. And then I was like, it's pouring rain in L.A. tonight. Like this whole week, it's been pissing rain. And I got to be up early tomorrow. Like, I was like, all this stuff. I was like, I don't even think Beyonce's going to be there or probably not. But like, I still want to go, of course, because I'll do anything. I would do literally anything. I'd lay down on the fucking train tracks for Beyonce. If it was going

to get her anything, I would do it. And so we go. And I was kind of like, you know, okay, if that was And all I got to do is CBI say, I'm happy. I am happy. I could die happy. I saw her. I was 15 feet from her. I'm on the way out, okay? She left.

I'm leaving. And we're on the way out. And I'm walking with Drew and someone grabs Drew's arm and says, you two come with me. And I'm thinking, oh, they're going to shoot us. We were being annoying and loud. Yeah, I get it. No, I do get it. Nope, 100%.

Understood. We kind of were like, oh, 100%. This woman takes us back. behind a curtain, another curtain, another curtain, we're waiting in a line. We're waiting in a line, and I look at Drew and she looks at me and we're like, no, no, no, no, no. And then we see Miss Tina, and then we see Taraji P. Hinson walk out. Then we see Gabrielle Union walk out. And then it just clicks, and then my knees start shaking, Drew's knees start shaking, we're sweating, my hands start to shake, and I'm like, there's actually no way that she's doing meat and greets right now.

Beyonce does not do meet and greets. That is not like, she's way past that in her career to be doing meet and greets girl, especially for something like this. Like, I don't know. You know, like, it's enough to come out and be like, thank y'all so much for being here. You get a picture of Beyonce, a blurry picture on your iPhone. That's enough. She doesn't have to do anything else.

That's fucking Beyonce. Take us back there. She took the time. She took the time out of her day to be in this room. her mother on the couch, blue ivy on the couch, and then a bunch of their girlfriends, and they told us no phones, completely understandable. And she's right there. We round that corner, and I lock eyes with blue ivy, I look away, I can't. And then I'm like, I know what's coming. And we turn the corner and she's right there. And I literally had another

fucking hairy moment where I had to look away. I literally, I can't, I cannot look at you in the fucking eye. What do you think I'm going to do? Look you in the eye? I turned around and I faced the And I felt the tears start to well up. And I was like, I can't, I'm going to cry again. And I was like, I can't, like, I actually be here right now. Like, it's, like, too much emotion because she just meets so much to me. I love that. And she is right there.

She's saying, hi to everyone. It's me, Drew, and Alicia. And another woman, I didn't get her name because I fucking blacked out. And we're standing in this room. And she starts talking, Blue Ivy comes up to Alicia Marie. It says, I'm a big fan. Oh my God. That's so amazing.

Like, this internet shit is not like, it's all fun in games until it's like, you see the reach. You see like this shit actually reaches people. Dude, it's so scary. It's so scary. Like, this shit is, you know, there is a beauty to just living your life and documenting it and having other people really enjoy it. And I mean, and you know, and I told you. Alicia, as I said, you know, if Blue Ivy is watching your videos, you know her mama knows about it. You know she's talking to Beyonce about this.

Y'all have been a topic of conversation in the Carter household. And so we walk in and I literally, I'm facing the wall, I can't do it. My knee start to shake. I literally, my eyes well up. And she's right there. And Drew's right beside me and Drew's being a professional. I can't give it together. I try.

and you start talking to Beyonce, looks at me, she says, I love your outfit. I got on a white hat and a dress, and I got my little bolo tie, and I had on these cowboy boots with like a silver fringe on them. And I was like, don't say that to me. I don't remember what I said. I said something like, girl, she said, I love your outfit. I was like, oh, my God. And I said, I love you.

And we stood there talking and I kind of choked up. and Drew said, Drew is the mom. She was like, tell her you're from Houston. Beyonce, she's from me. I was like, oh, Houston. I said 713. I said, Beyonce, what do you know about Montgomery County? She was like, I know Montgomery County.

I said, it's not much to boast about, but it's there. And she was like, she started laughing. I made Beyonce laugh, kill myself. And then, you know, she starts talking to Drew. She's talking to another girl. And then she comes back to me. And I said, because I got to show you my tattoo. because of course I have my four tattoo

because four is her lucky number and I showed her and she grabbed my arm and she said no you didn't she's not a mask or something again I blacked I don't know what she said so she's looking at my tattoo and I said I love you so much I said thank you B like just

because what do you say like what do you say there's not words like Beyonce helped me come into who Brittany is. So much of who I am is because I watched Beyonce do it

and I watched Beyonce not have fear and I watched Beyonce take up space unabashedly and talk her shit and be herself and it just like

it meant so much to little me and me now it's just like there's not words there's really not words. I think of all that a woman can be and I think of her. Like I just, it's really not, it's not something I can really explain well, unless you get it, you know. She is one of those artists for me, just not even an artist, just a person in my life that is, she has impacted

me in ways that I'm still figuring out. And I don't give a shit if that sounds gringy. Like, I love Beyonce. I would die for this shit, dude. I'm not joking. I would die for this shit. Oh! I would really die for this shit, not a joke. A beehive to my fucking core. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. It always happens right before the whistle. There's a little voice that says, what if I mess up?

What if I'm not ready? I see a whole highlight reel of everything I don't want to happen. Miss shots, turn over. letting my team down, and for a second, there's doubt. But then, I realize I've done enough to be where I'm at. The early mornings, the extra reps, the days I wanted to quit and didn't. So, I smile. Self-doubt is natural, but my smile is a reminder that I'm resilient.

To put more smiles out into the world, Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games. The Colgate Women's Games is the nation's. longest running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength. I don't know if there's another artist alive that I would actually react that way about. I mean, Harry was a total fucking collapse. That was a collapse.

Cried after that. Cried after hosier, of course. Those men mean a lot to me, but no one means what Beyonce means to me. So to be team Beyonce, if you're watching. Holy shit. Thank you so much for even thinking of me. You know, I just talk shit on the internet. And I tell my little jokes and I do my little voices and it's just crazy.

I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful for anyone who's ever listened or watched a clip or anything of me. Because like that shit is just, it's like we did it, you know? I can retire, I can hang up the fucking jersey It's just not I don't really know what to say I'm so grateful to y'all And I'm so grateful that I get to do this

Because I've been on the other side And it fucking blows I've been miserable At my job and I've I've done college and I've worked minimum wage jobs And I've known what it feels like To have to ration the food in your friends or fucking go to bed hungry, I know what it feels like.

And I just am so grateful to y'all and to anyone who's ever, you know, watched me and supported me. It's just stupid. This whole thing is so stupid. It's so silly. And I got to meet Beyonce. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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It always happens right before the work. whistle. There's a little voice that says, what if I mess up? What if I'm not ready? I see a whole highlight reel of everything I don't want to happen. Missed shots, turnovers, letting my team down. And for a second, there's doubt. But then, I realize I've done enough to be where I'm at. The early mornings, the extra reps, the days I wanted to quit and didn't. So I smile. Self-doubt is natural, but my smile is a reminder that I'm resilient. To put more smiles out into the world, Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games. The Colgate Women's Games is the nation's longest running indoor track and field series for girls and women.

Colgate, your smile is your strength. Anyway, and can I just say her mother, body rocking. and her body tea, Miss Tina Knowles, of course, and her body is tea. She was wearing this gorgeous, like, what are those called, applique, like, lace sort of, and it had rhinestones on it, and it was real body fitting. It was like a pants suit, but it was fitted with a belt, and it was lace with applique's on it. Oh, my God, it was gorgeous, she looks gorgeous, and she has the iconic red lip that she does. And the essence magazine shoot just came out with, with Beyonce and Tina, and Miss Tina, of course.

And it was gorgeous. I just think it's such a beautiful thing. And it's a beautiful business move, you know, for someone who so much of Beyonce's set is hairography. You know, it's the hair's iconic and how the hair changes. And her hairstylists are just fucking geniuses. they're trendsetters, you know? If Beyonce does it, that means it's cool. It's just, it's the truth.

And so it's so smart to start a hair care line and have that be, you know, that's the golden standard. I can't wait. Oh, my God. And this fucking party. So we leave after the soul-shattering meeting of Beyonce. And I, oh, my God, I wish someone would have been filming it. I think actually Remy got a video of us walking out.

of, we literally were like, like middle school girls who had just met Justin Bieber, we were jumping in a circle and crying and we were fan-girling over Alicia because Blue Ivy went up to her. Oh my God, Alicia, I love you so much. I love both them.

Oh, I just love women. Women are so cute. Like, what a cute. My girls were there with me. It's so just, wow, I feel so lucky. And blessed. Oh.

And so Remy gets this video of us walking out. Just in absolute shambles and tears running down our face. Alicia's makeup's running. And we walk out and we go down the elevator. You know, we're kind of hanging out in the, like by the bar. We're getting pictures with our ruined makeup. And we're just talking and we're like, this is fucking stupid, dude. I did not think this is how to not.

I was going to go. I did not think. Drew and I literally, I mean, Drew's like I've been hung over for 48 hours. Like the last thing I want to do is getting glam. But I was like, if there was ever a fucking time, it's now. I'm so glad. Even if Beyonce wouldn't have been there, I still would have gone because it's a fucking honor.

That shit is an honor and a privilege. And I would never take it for granted. Oh my God. And so we were in the car on the way home. And they hand us suitcases of purpose. of product. It's just, it's just so,

it's so well done. It's so just, holy shit. I really don't have words for, it's another hairy situation. It's like that, I always wondered, you know,

my first instance of internet fame getting me to a, into a room with someone who has changed my life, life for the better in every way was Harry. That was the first one. And I remember thinking, right after he walked out of the room, I remember thinking there will never be anything that will

ever top this in here. Never be anything. And here it is. We found it, dude. So that was tonight. Don't really know where to go from here. Let me collect myself for a second. Okay. If I'm puffy and my nose is red for the rest of the video. Fuck off. Fuck off and grow up, dude. Like, how am I supposed to talk about anything else for the rest of my life? How am I supposed to just, like, wake up tomorrow and be like, I gotta check these emails?

Fuck you! Fuck you, dude! How am I supposed to move on? I saw this TikTok today of this dude being like, you know what's the worst part about a breakup is when it happens? Oh, soul-crushing, like, earth-shattering, kill myself. and then you have to just like log on to Zoom the next morning. Hi, everyone.

It's been raining. It's been raining in L.A. Yeah. Oh, it's cold in New York. You know, I'm dead ass have to do that tomorrow. How am I supposed to be like? And you know I did meet Beyonce. And you know what's even worse?

It's like I feel like I'm lying because I didn't get a picture. They were like, no follows, whatever. Completely fine. Like, I don't need a photo. But for this sake, you know, of like, you know I'm going to go ahead on the internet talk about it. I wish I didn't have a photo Oh dude

How am I supposed to be normal now How am I supposed to just like be normal Met Pedro We're not even three fucking months Into this goddamn year And I've met Pedro Mascall and Beyonce You do Oh anyway I was actually gonna talk about my hair

I'm actually like Okay beyond all that Beyond 20 minutes of me sobbing over like what just happened The hair care line I actually am excited about because I have extremely thin and like frizzy, curly hair, and I don't wear it natural. I used to. If you all remember that, like two years ago, put a picture up here. I used to wear my hair like this all the time.

That's my natural texture because it's my mom's natural texture. And it's so, like, I don't take care of my curls. But it's also, I have extensions. I have indigestion. There's so much going on in my body right now. It can't process it. I don't really take care of my natural texture. And I know that that was like I really tried to about.

two years ago and then I was like, my hair is so thin, dude. It's not even, I'm doing heat on it every day with the diffuser and it just wasn't. So I did extensions. And when I have my hair down like this, especially when it's humid outside like it is now, my natural hair around my neck kinks up because I've got curly hair and around my, my hair line. And so I'm like, I'm excited to honestly kind of embrace my natural curl, but also treat it. treat my real hair with a line that's like good instead of because I've tried fucking everything, dude. You know, I've tried all the drugstore stuff. I've tried some of the, uh, how do you say it? Ui, way, the O-A-U-I, U-A. I actually do use their conditioner and shampoo right now because it's

like detox. It's like actually cleaning because I use so much dry shampoo because my hair is so fucking thin and greasy. I feel like filch from Harry Potter. I tell my hair looks, when it, like, after 48 hours, after a shower. And so I use so much dry shampoo, and then I know that clogs your scalp, so you can't grow more hair or something.

I'm making this shit up, probably. I don't know. So I'm excited because it's like a cleansing shampoo. There's a hair oil. There's so much that I'm, like, I'm about to crack into that bitch after this. After I wrap this pot episode, I'm going to wash my hair.

I'm so excited. I've never been more excited for a wash day. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I actually am. I am very excited about that because, you know, even beyond the excitement of all that, it's like I get to, new toys. Being 26 is buying toys for yourself and then, like, having a play date with yourself. My toy for this week is Beyonce's hair care line.

My toy for last week was I ordered some slime off of YouTube because to go to bed every night. I listen to ASMR, of course, because you know I'm a fucking weirdo. Oh, you don't listen to ASMR when you sleep? Oh, so you're like normal? Didn't ask, don't care. I ordered some slime from this YouTube creator that I follow. She's like, restocking my whatever slimes. And I'm like, yes, yes, yes.

Rating scupability of this week's slimes. And it's, she'll make really weird ones. She'll do like Vicks vapor rub slime. Smells like Vicks vapor rub. And then she'll scoop it. She'll be like, eight out of ten. And I'm like, yes, yes. God, need that.

Need it. I need it. Slime. I wish it was edible. They should make edible slime. They should make edible slime that I can chew and then spit back out and then chew on again. Okay, without like ingesting borax. She's got a fixed vapor up one.

She made one that was like soil. And then it said scent dirt. Sint dirt. Seven out of scent. And then she'll put those little like cocoa pebble looking scoops in it. So it crunches real good. Into that. But then there's other ones.

Oh my God, she did this like, I don't know if it's the same girl or if it's a different slime creator. I would hate to ever mix up slime creators. I would hate to get y'all mixed up. I would never do that to you. And I wish I remembered names, but I don't. There's this other girl who makes, like, Mexican candy inspired one. So she had one that was those little like mango pops, like mangolada pops that it's shaped

like a teardrop. And then it's got the chomoi stuff on the outside. delicious. And she said that this one smells like mango chomoi. Need it. She made another one that was Horchata flavored flavored slime. And then she'll scoop it. She had one that was um, um, cafe de oa. She had another one that was, fuck me. What was it called? It had all those little plastic things in it. Oh, sandia. Sandia is watermelon. It had like little watermelons in it. Really, really? I want those. Okay. That's going to be my next purchase. But the thing with buying slime, is like, where's it go?

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? You know, it's even more embarrassing? Okay, I'll put it, I guess, in like the guest bath or I'll put it here, I'll put it wherever. You go put it in the kitchen. And so now what, when guests come over, they'll be like, why was there? Okay, so actually you did have a question

about the slime in my bathroom? Don't touch it. Oh, you found the slime? I've been looking for that. Could you hand it over to me? I need a Beyonce Funko Pop. I need a Bion. This is about to be called the Beyonce report.

I don't give a fuck. How am I supposed to take it? talk about this bullshit. All I'm thinking about is Beyonce. She is so beautiful in person. Her skit. She does not look a day over 25. I look fucking older than Beyonce does. And that's about to piss me off. My God, she looks so young and beautiful. My God. And you know what? I did save a playlist the other day called Beyonce rapping her ass off because, and this is what I said on the last episode, if that act three is a rap album, don't say I didn't warn you. And don't say I'm not about to be a fucking annoying menace about it.

Top off. I've been on. Ape shit. Flawless remix. Savage remix. She raps. You bitches don't... You bitches don't know about that.

You don't know about it. Damn. Queen B. Won no smoke with me. Okay? Oh my God. I've been listening to, funny enough, today, when I was like, she's not going to be there.

She's not going to whatever. Like, I might get a blurry. picture of her and I'm totally fine with that. Like, I'm not really expecting too much. I've been listening to I've been on all day because I used to bump that shit in like late high school because she released when self-titled came out and she released that when it's her and the like Regal like Marie Antoinette, you know, French Revolution type wear and it's the and it's the I've been on, I've been on. And that was like the intro. What was that the intro? I've been on

intro, Beyonce. I can't remember. On the album, it was like a little bit, but she didn't actually put it on the album, and then she did it at home, and homecoming. And I remember being like, no fucking way,

because I used to listen to it on SoundCloud, I think, that they, like, uploaded it? Or am I tweaking, hold on. I've been on Beyonce release date. Yeah, she released it for real in 2019. But it was the intro, yeah, bow down. that's what it was In December 2013

Beyonce explained the idea behind Bow Down on iTunes Radio The reason I put out Bow Down is because I woke up Went into the studio I had a chant in my head It was aggressive It was angry

It wasn't the Beyonce That was a fucking stupid idiot Yeah it's flawless It's the intro to follow us And then that little snippet of her rapping was like leaked And I think I used to listen to it on SoundCloud or on YouTube

And I remember I said every fucking word She said Shout out to Willie D You know I was in that Willie D video when I was about 14 Looking crazy Boudan in the parking lot I love Beyonce

She is so fucking Texan Dude You bitches don't know about Boudan Damn I miss Boudan Do y'all know Razzuz Do y'all know Razzuz Cajun Cafe

Yes or no Say yes If you I don't know if that's a Texan thing It's a chain in Texas me and Tato love it, me and Besty Taylor. Razzuz, it has some of the best, like, I mean, from a chain restaurant, boudan balls, the fried boudan balls that you can get, oh my God, they're so spicy and good.

The crawfish are usually pretty good. I love, when I went on mythical chef Josh, what's his show called, Last Meals, and they cook your death row meal. If you haven't seen that, go watch it, by the way. Love Josh. He's my soul sister. He's so funny. They cook me my death row meal, and my death row meal is cross meal.

That is my favorite dish of all time. It is something before you shoot me, hey, before you take me out back, let me get a spoonful of that, okay? I love a crawfish etifé. Razzuz does it good, okay? Now, unless it's homemade from someone who's actually from, like, either Louisiana or Texas, or Florida, I'll get Florida sometimes. Florida makes good, there's good Cajun food in Florida sometimes.

If it's not homemade, then Razzuz is going to be my second best bet. And if y'all have recommendations, go ahead and send that to me as well. Because Crawfish Jettufay, that's going to do it for me every time. That is my favorite meal on the face of the fucking planet. And me and Taylor would go to Razzuz after work because we both used to work in the suburbs of Dallas. I guess not the suburbs. We used to work right outside of Dallas before this internet shit happened. and after work or on the weekends

we would have besty dates at Razzuz and we'd go and it's got this crazy like frog with a cigar in his mouth, that's the logo, and we'd go and we'd fuck that shit up. Damn, I miss it. Shout out to Rizuz for real. We need to open a Razzuz in L.A. Where's the near? Razzuz near me.

Razzuz Cajun Cafe. Let's go ahead and see. Damn, this is, it's only Texan. Oh, wait, I'm tweaking. Hold on. North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Texas. North Carolina. there's two in Concord and Winston-Salem. Oklahoma, there's one in Oklahoma City.

Look at all these Texan locations. Arlington Burleson, Cedar Hill, College Station, shout-out. Corpus Christi, Dallas, shout-out. Fort Worth Alliance Town Center. Fort Worth, City View, Fort Worth, Sunday Square. Y'all got three Razzos in Fort Worth? Fuck you, bitches.

Garland, Harker Heights, Irving, Louisville. Shout out. That's where we used to go. I used to live in Louisville. Lubbock, McKinney, Mesquite, Pasadena, Round Rock, Spring. Shout out Spring. My family lives around Spring. Stafford and Tyler. That's a lot of Razzuz. I feel very, very blessed and lucky to have lived in both Louisville and College Station where they're rocking with Razzos. It's so good. And I think their fried catfish goes pretty hard, too. I'll pull that up too. Damn, I'm hungry.

Oh, and the rat toes are good. It's jalapinos that are, um, they're stuffed with like this sort of mixture. It's like a meat. I don't know what it is. does it say. Our famous shrimp and crab stuffed jalapinos. Damn, dude! Oh my God, you know what else I used to get? It's called the Cajun Skillet, I think is what it's called. And they bring it out to you literally in a cast iron skillet. And they'll be, careful, it's hot.

Yeah, no shit, you're just taking out of fucking oven. They'll put it down in front of you. It's got a little hand, uh, hello? The thing so you don't burn your hand when you takes your hand. out of the oven, hand mitt. Oven mitt, oven mitt. It's got a little oven mitt on it. And in it is a little bit of everything.

Okay, it's got crawfish etouffay with, it's the crawfish in the sauce and then the rice, and it's all mixed together. And then you've got Andouy sausage, which is so smoky and so good. And they cut it down the middle for you, so you can see the char marks, and it's got that crisp bite to it when you bite into it.

Then they'll give you red beans and rice, piece of corn, And I think, what's that shit called? It's got okra in it. It's not jambalaya. Maybe it is jambalaya. No, it's called something else. But it's a little bit of all of that.

And they put it in one skillet. And that was, I would save up money in college to literally go at the end of the week. I would treat myself, I'd go to Razzuz. And I would buy a Cajun skillet. And I would eat that shit all weekend. Because it was expensive. I mean, at the time, you know, it was like 25 to 30 bucks for that. And I would eat on it for three days.

I was like, man, we're rationing because I wanted it so bad. I love Razus. I love Cajun food. Okay. Fried pickles are good. The gumbo of Razzoos is okay. It's not my favorite.

It's all right. Keep it John. Uh, uh, keep it John. Uh, oh. I've never had a poe boy at Razzuz. I never really, I'm not really, if I'm doing Cajun food,

I'm not eating a sandwich, girl. Taylor loves the fish. I think she would get the, either the blackened redfish or the tilapia. I can't remember. The alligator's pretty good. The Cajun combos kill it. Here we go.

Shrimp creole. That's what I'm talking about. Shrimp creole has, it's like tomato-based. It wasn't my favorite. I'm not a big shrimp girl, okay? I'm sucking on a crawfish. Grilled Andouille,

shrimp creole, crawfish et tufe, red beans, and garlic toast. Damn, dude. I'm about to start crying. I miss home. Razus hit my line. Let's talk about opening a Razu's Cajun Cafe in Los Angeles America, go ahead and hit my line. I need this so desperately.

And if you're looking to get fiked oip, if you're looking to get fricked erp, they have great drinks. Yeah, the drinks go crazy at Razzos, and I think they have a happy hour. So good. Miss it so bad. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, Fiscally Responsible, Financial Geniuses, Monetary Magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car. insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available

in all states or situations. It always happens right before the whistle. There's a little voice that says, What if I mess up? What if I'm not ready? I see a whole highlight reel of everything I don't want to happen. Missed shots, turnovers, letting my team down. And for a second, there's doubt. But then I realize I've done enough to be where I'm at. The early mornings, the extra reps, the days I wanted to quit and didn't.

So I smile. Self-doubt is natural, but my smile is a reminder that I'm resilient. To put more smiles out into the world, Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games. The Colgate Women's Games is the nation's longest running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength. Anyway, I've been on. That's crazy.

The first time she ever did it live was at Homecoming. I guess I didn't really think about it. I remember I was that whole thing. Because when she talked about it was she was like, I went in the studio. I was fucking mad. Because, and this is, Tina posted on Instagram the other day,

and it made me sad because it's like, I mean, I'm not going to cry again, but when you are to the level and the status that Beyonce is, you don't even have to say your fucking last name. People know who you are. They know you're right. When you mention Beyonce, there is a quality that comes to mind.

You know, there is a certain, fine quality and professionalism and work ethic that comes to mind, okay, that's almost synonymous when you say Beyonce. It is a commitment to excellence, and it's a consistent display of excellence that it would never even, I couldn't fathom ever thinking about her and everything she's done and all of the artistic endeavors that she's committed to, ever having shit to say on her, ever. I could never understand that. And again, I'm a stand, I'm speaking, I've been a lifelong stand,

but to ever actually have a bad word to say against her, I could not imagine as a mother. And even, I mean, Blue's very young, but, like, the older she gets, you know, like, realizing how fucking horrible the media was to be. Beyonce as a young woman, and even now, she can't escape. Like, I just, it's so unfounded. It is absolutely unwarranted.

I've never understood it. I've never really, I mean, she's created a standard for performers that few, few, and I say that with my chest, very few have ever come close to imitating, mimicking or even leveling. Beyonce. So I've never really understood, you know, when people are like, she's overrated, she says, and that, but just hear yourselves. Do you know what you're fucking talking about? You need to grow up.

You need to watch one, one concert and talk to me again about overrated. Shut the fuck up. That piss me off. So Tina made this post on Instagram that was like, for years, I have seen the way that people talk about my daughter. And it's just like, fuck you bitches. I'm going to pull it up. I'm going to read it.

Oh, she said this too. She reposted this from someone else. She said, The Renaissance World Tour is the highest grossing tour by a female artist in history at $579 million in sales. The Renaissance Tour also broke Billboard's record for biggest one-month gross

with $127.6 million in August 2023. And now the Renaissance concert film has grossed 11.5 million on its opening day and has broken the record for the biggest post- Thanksgiving opening Friday of all time. Give this black woman her due. The crown wasn't given. It's been fought for and earned. So give her some damn respect and go see the film. We're not stopping until the comparisons cease. Period. Bitch! Holy shit! This is what I'm saying. Like, I don't understand how people could ever, ever, ever. And that just goes to show me, too, that, like, you haven't.

You haven't sat down and watched anything that she's made. And it shows. She also posted this. When I look at something like this, where Beyonce is the number one, and actually in any category, is blessed enough to be in the top 10, I stop and say a prayer. I thank God Almighty for all the amazing loyal fans that have rode with her for 27 years. It makes all the negativity seem so small and insignificant. Thank you, our Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior,

and thank you to all the beautiful, creative, talented, loyal fans. I love you, period. It's just so stupid, dude. Like, it's really, you know, I understand critiquing an artist when they've done something wrong, or maybe, you know, when the quality was, maybe it was a flop, maybe something like that. I don't, and, again, I just love her so fucking much. I don't. There's never been a flop. There's never been a bad song. There's never been a bad

vocal. There's never been a bad performance. There's even her worst performances are better than some of these other bitches. I just don't. I can't sum it up. I can't sum it up. I feel so fucking lucky. Anyway, I also wanted to completely pivot. Let's pivot for a second. I know I'm dressed like this right now. We're coming off the event. Okay, this is hot off the fucking press. I am back on A, my bullshit, B, 2013 Ariana Grande Corps, okay? There's a big sort of regression going on to 2013, 2014, and does it make me feel senile to see these edits on TikTok of like, I wish I was a teenager in 2013, 2014?

Crazy. Like, that was barely 10 years ago. It was 10 years ago. Shit! I see these videos and I'm like, oh, my God. but it was a time. Trust, it was a time. Okay?

And I miss it every day. I think about it every day. I mean, growing up in the Tumblr age was truly something that was like, I mean, it ruined me, ruined my brain. But like, it's, it was such a community and it was such an interesting cross section of like what was happening in culture at the time. Because if you understand Tumblr, you understand it. And Tumblr permeated like music, art, fashion. aesthetic choices, personality choice. You know, it was like, it was, it had such a grip.

And to see that coming back, also in so many different ways, of fandom specifically, the Tumblr era created the monster that lives in me to this day. The little fucking grimlin that runs around in my brain. All the little sponge bob is, they're just little rumple goochers running around in my brain, knocking shit over. Don't touch that. The little grimlins that. taught me how to love things the way that I do. And it was for better or worse, I don't know.

If it's for better or worse, I don't know. But it's there and it happened. Around that time, I started thrifting for the first time. And I started experimenting with my fashion instead of, you know, just like, I guess I'm going to wear a t-shirt and jeans every day. I saw, I'll pull it up, give me a fucking second, I saw this YouTube video, I saw this YouTube video, get this thumbnail right here, this one, going Grande in Disneyland. This YouTube video changed the fiber, the atomic level of my being, okay? fundamentally I was altered the first time I watched this video. I've seen this video so many goddamn times. I'm probably one million of these two million views,

which is shocking. I can't believe it only has two million views, unless that's a re-upload, no, 11 years ago. I watched this video to the point where I was like, oh, I am Frankie Grande. I think I actually might be Frankie Grande. Because I was in, I was a musical theater kid at the time. I loved Ariana Grande.

I loved, this is her first album. think had just come out. She still kind of had red hair a little bit. She was like coming off of the R.E or the cat, the salmon cat thing. She had just released, I think yours truly, maybe dangerous woman was happening. I don't know. And I was obsessed. I was fucking obsessed with Frankie Grundy and Ariana Grande, especially like it kind of gave me

license to be like a Disney adult unabashed thing. So I was like, oh my God, look at her. she's a grown-ass woman, and they're frolicing through Disneyland, like, doing the dances to world of color, and they're doing this. And, like, there's a part in this vlog specifically, and this was back when it was Tower of Terror, and it wasn't the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. There's this part where they're in line for the cars ride, and Ariana wasn't, like, super famous yet. Like, they're still kind of running around, like normal people. And they're in line, and this girl in front of them has a bow in her hair like Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Like, you know, her big blue, like, turquoise bow and her hair that's so iconic.

And it's huge and it's campy like that. Like, it's not a normal hair bow. And Ariana says something like, oh, my God, I love your bow. Can I have it? Like, kind of is a joke. And the girl turns around and goes, no. And then, like, turns back around. And she, Ariana looks at the camera and goes, I was joking.

I remember thinking that was the funniest thing ever. It's not funny. It's not funny in retrospect. But I remember being like, I don't know, she's so funny. And then Frankie did this. Oh, my God. there's this there's a

part of a video where they're in Radiator Springs and there's a sign that says slow you know like drive slow or whatever

and Frankie stands under it and goes and like makes a face like he's slow laughed stole it he also there's a part he says

I've been twerking on the railroad laughed now mind you was I 15 yes was this 2013 2014

yes times were different I still watch this and I get nostalgia in a way that I just, I can't, it makes me so happy. So I have, all that to say, I've decided that I am mentally regressing to that era and I'm going to start dressing and acting like Ariana Grande from that era again because I used to do that in high school. I went thrifting for the first time to get like an oversized sweatshirt. That's the first time I was like, oh, you can buy clothes that are too big for you. And you won't look fat. You won't look like a big fat hog monster.

Me as a fat-phobic, like, eating disorder tumbler girl, oh, is it like a big, fat, nasty, sweaty hog? Me in like a large sweatshirt. So I bought it. And all things, all things! A sweatshirt I ever bought was a Notre Dame sweatshirt that said, go Irish, the Fighting Irish. Guess who played for?

Notre Dame, Sam Hartman. Okay. Guess who's Irish? Hoseyer, guess who's Irish? My fucking boy that I'm talking to, my husband. All things point to Ireland. At this point, it's not even like, I'm not even being funny. Like, these are signs.

I have a, never mind. No, I have to tell you. I have a note in my notes up that's titled, I have a note in my notes app that's titled, I'm not crazy in all caps. I write down every time that there is a mention of Ireland. Because it's haunting me now, dude.

I never, ever in my life had Ireland on my radar before the last like month. Actually, after the hosier interview, it kind of became a bit. Like, I'm not moving to Ireland, whatever. It is, I'm seeing angel numbers every day. I'm seeing shit about Ireland every single fucking day. And I don't even mean like, oh, my algorithm. We were driving home. Dude, get this.

We were driving home from a royal court shoot. Me and Stanley on Monday. We just filmed this past Monday. Y'all are going to fucking die. Y'all are going to die at the guest we have. The next guest, so not this week. This week is the week of February 20th. There's one coming out this week that's also very good.

I love it. Ionic, love it. The one that's coming out in like one or two months, you're not going to know what to do. You are genuinely going to lose your fucking minds. And if you can guess who it is, it's part of the lore, okay? It's part of Brescue Nation lore.

You can guess who it is. I cannot wait for it to come out. We are driving back from filming this, okay? It was pouring rain. It had been a long day. It was a successful day. It was a lot of fun. We're stopped at a stoplight, and I'm in the car with Stanley and my writers who are in the

back sea, and we're giggling, we're giggling, we're gaggling, whatever. I'm at a stoplight. I'm looking at the car in front of me, and I see this. Put it up on the fucking green screen. It says, Irish and it's a medieval night. Get more clear. Irish are in. Irish right now. Am I being crazy? I don't know. You bet your sweet fucking ass I added it to that notes app. I'm not crazy. I'm normal. Hi, how are you? I'm normal. I'm normal. That's literally me. I'm actually really normal.

And my dad always said that the man who is meant for me, I won't. have to like not be weird. Like a first date, all this, like, that's the different, different advice that my mom and dad gave me of like, my mom's like, be a ladylike on the first date. Like, let him pay, do this. Like, don't be too loud. Like, don't ask him questions. Don't talk about yourself too much. Whatever. My dad's like, your person, your man will tolerate you. He won't even, it's not even tolerates not the right word. He will love everything. You will not have to dull yourself and dull your shine. Like, you should be yourself at all times.

There's no point. And on the first date being like, here's a version of me that you're never going to fucking see again. Because what's the point? What's the what you're lying? You know? Like, we already do that on dating apps of like, here's the version of myself I want you to see.

Here's all the best things about me. On a first date, like, girl, I'm airing all that shit out. What do you think about this? Check this shit out. So I've always like, I don't know. like this is me. And so if I'm making a note app that says I'm not crazy, and it's a reference to all the Ireland things I've been seeing,

my man's going to be like, yeah, period. Yeah, that was a sign. Okay? And is it this dude from the dating app? Probably not. But I like talking to him. And he makes me feel pretty because I am, because I'm a gorgeous woman.

And also, it is nice to be like, intellectually yeah go ahead and stutter on that word one more time intellectually I've met my match which is a nice feeling so much going on guys so much so much oh my god there's a part two

yeah you know what I'm doing tonight I'm watching part two and I'm watching the Grandes go to Hogwarts bitch the Frankie J. Grande YouTube channel shaped me as a woman I don't know what he's doing today he's married I saw that shit in People magazine and I said, good for Frankie Grande.

Shine bright like a Frankie. Yes. Shine bright. Shine light. Beautiful sea. Damn. Frankie Grande. Frankie Grande.

Rainbow Pride song. Rainbow Pride man song. Shine bright like a Frankie. Weho Pride. That's all. If I ever met Frankie Grande, I would freak out like he's Beyonce. You know who's another?

one for me. Here's another. This is, okay, you know how Brooke has her tear system? And if you're not familiar, go watch that episode of the Brooke and Connor podcast. Brooke and Connor make a podcast. And also she has her solo podcast now. Go listen to that. She has a tier system that's like, these are untouchables. Like I can't be in the same room as you. Like for me, that's Harry's style, Beyonce, you know, that sort of thing. Then there's a tier below that where it's like, oh, I can't think about it. I love you so much. Like it makes me sick. But like I could talk to you. That for me is like Pedro Pascall, whatever. Below that is like, I am such a big fan. I know everything about you. I want to be friends. And then below that's kind of like, oh, I love them. You're like,

I'm a fan. And I paraphrase that. Like, she could probably explain it way better. We need to get Brooke on this podcast. This is not a guest-centric podcast, but I love, I would take a bullet for Brooke every any fucking day, any day of the week. I would love to have her on here because it needs to be captured. For me, Ariana Grande is that sort of like tier two, like, I love her. so fucking much. I have always loved her. Her antics are crazy. I will admit that, like, whatever. But at the same time, like, I don't know. Her music and her talent and her skill is just like, it's once in a lifetime. And I'm such an admirer of someone who uses their gift for like, who uses their gift in a way that's so creative and so freeing. And so, you know,

her whole platform was like, love, love. I just love her. I want to be friends with her. Like, that's my tea with Ariana Grande. Like, I grew up watching these videos. Like, oh my God, she used to do makeup tutorials on YouTube. I love her. I want to hang out with her.

She's got her little gaggle of gays. I just love her to goddamn death. Yeah, I'd love to hang out with her Indiana Grande. And Frankie. I'd rather hang out with Frankie. I want to meet Frankie Hang out with Frankie and Ariana Grande together Okay

And then maybe Ariana's stop texting me Like yes we'll hang out You know like well Okay fine I think we need to bring back the 2013 Ariana Grande aesthetic Also, Ariam Beauty has a lip gloss That is period

The eyeshadows I've tried I don't think they're anything to like write home about But they're pretty I love the like retro-futuristic sort of, you know, mod space theme of the whole line. I think it's really cute. I haven't smelled the perfumes. I've been told that they're like super sickly sweet, so I won't be purchasing them. But the next time I'm at Ulta, I will be smelling them. But yeah, R&M Beauty has that lip gloss. It's really good. I would recommend that.

Oh my God. YSL sent me a, first of all, what the fuck? YSL Beauty, shout out, sent me a PR package that has this mascara in it that is, it's like this waterproof something. And I love that shit. I mean, I've been crying for the last literally four hours and it stayed, so really good. Also, the glitter I always wear on my eyes, because you bitches always ask.

Kim Chi and Trixie had a palette come out, and I think it's under Kimchi Beauty. It's not a Trixie Cosmetics palette. It's a kimchi beauty palette. And it's like a holocaust. holographic thing on the front, and it's like this retro, I think they're in like a TV. And it's got some crazy colors in it, but there are pressed glitters in this palette. That is what I always wear.

And it's this like, it's not gold and it's not silver somewhere in between. It's just like true sparkle. There's not fallout. It's pressed in this creamy way. But it's not a chunky, you know, creamy glitter. I wear it all the time. I do my little finger and then I tap it. It goes on top of every.

color beautifully. Like if I were to wear a blue eyeshadow, if I were to do my Matt Browns or my normal look, like it goes on everything. I just love it to goddamn death. That's what I wear. It's not the urban decay star or whatever that shit is. That's always sold out. And it doesn't have the, the specs aren't that big in it. Like that's more of a sort of shimmer glitter. This is glitter and I put it on. And it's gorgeous. That's what I was wearing. So it's that fucking how me about it. So they wear. Okay, y'all. Sorry for the crazy opening. Met Beyonce. Holy shit. I forgot. I forgot about it. I guess I'll see you guys next week. I love you so much. You know how I feel. You know my heart. I don't really have to say that much. Merch is still live if you want to go get merch as well.

And I love y'all. Please be safe. And please stream Texas Hold'em and 16 carriages. And also, I've been on Homecoming Live. Go get on that shit. And check out that playlist I was talking about Beyonce rapping her ass off. Because top off. Top off? Yeah. Hold on. What's she say? She says, um...

She said, I'll break the internet. Top two and I ain't number two. My body. My eyes, my cash. I realize my triple thread. Fuck it up and then leave. Come back. Fuck it up and leave again. Y'all don't know anything about that and it shows. All right. Love y'all. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.

I'm U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. The sound of a seatbelt. It's one of the most important sounds in our car. It means everyone is ready and everyone is safe. The more our kids see us put on our seatbelts, the more natural it is for them to put theirs on two. Make it a priority. Buckle up every time.

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