The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 48: Broski Nation Space Program & the Popemobile

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski talks about her lactose intolerance woes, space travel, and the Pope-Mobile. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report: https://www.linktr.ee/broskireport https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport  Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski  https://instagram.com/brittany_broski  https://youtube.com/brittany_broski  Follow Royal Court: https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourt https://www.instagram.com/royalcourt https://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt  Brought To You By: Rocket Money – Go to https://rocketmoney.com/broskireport  Seat Geek – Get 10% off tickets use code: BROSKI10 Factor – Get 50% off your first box at https://factormeals.com/broski50 and use code BROSKI50   Register To Vote: Headcount – https://headcount.org  Rock The Vote – https://rockthevote.org  Songs of the Week: God’s Country by Ethel Cain Michelle Pfeiffer by Ethel Cain Head in The Wall by Ethel Cain #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #relationships, #romance, #situationship, #lactoseintolerance, #apollo13, #challenger, #nasa

When you fly with Hawaiian Airlines, it's hard to tell where your flight ends and vacation begins. Relax with Free Starlink, the fastest Wi-Fi in the sky, thanks to T-Mobile. Go ahead, stream your movie. Book the couple's massage. Make a dinner reservation while we bring you to our island home. Hawaii starts here. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Brozky Nation.

Report with your host, Brittany Brozky. Oh, Trisie, Drizzee, come on, BB out, Trisie, Bibi out, Trisie, b' me out, Trisie, why? Hey guys, what a week. What a past 72 hours. And of course I am referencing the Kendrick and Drake Beef. Hey, what's going on? What's going on?

Bebe A. Dreamtie. Bebe A. That, look, funniest thing I've ever heard. Okay, guys, it's been a while, okay? I backlogged some episodes.

I haven't sat my warm, flat, pimply butt in this chair, and it's been about two weeks, okay? Because I backlogged, let me think, right really quick, two weeks ago.

Also, we're having, like, a windstorm or something in L.A. right now, so the windows were like, because my house is old, it's like creaking and like, groaning and like, my house is one of those where I've talked about this before, hey, maybe it's haunted, not my business.

Maybe it's haunted, don't care, okay? Don't really see how that involves me. If you guys are hanging out in here, totally understand. Okay, I'm just gonna kind of be in my room. If you guys could just keep me down sort of thing, is how I feel. So like when you walk through my house, the floors are real like, that's how, it makes me feel good too, because if there was ever an intruder or something,

bitch, I'm hearing you from the minute you touch the doorknob. It's loud as fuck. It gives me time to escape. And I have an escape plan. Did you know that you can't take mace on a plane, but you can take bear spray on a plane? Or maybe, hey, maybe I made that up. Can you fly with bear mace? Fuck.

God damn it. Bear spray is not allowed. One four ounce can of mace or pepper spray is permitted in a checked bag. Okay, guys, if you're traveling with bear spray, put it in your checked bag. Provided it is equipped with a safety mechanism to prevent accidental discharge. What the fuck? Okay, my bear mace isn't discharging in my bag, bro. That's freaking gross. Okay, my bear spray isn't having smeg-mug-wet-com in my bag.

My bear spray isn't having a panty liner, bro. That's gross. Can I fly with bear spray checked? It can be checked if it is less than four ounces and contains less than 2% of the active CS or CN ingredient. What does that do you think? Cyanide? What's in bear spray that makes it burn? Red pepper oil?

Alaska Department of Fish and Game.gov. I trust this website with my whole entire being. Bear spray is a deterrent Here's what everyone should know about bear spray Lock in It's made of red pepper oil Olio reason or capation Now capsaicin is what they use

On the Scoville Units It's a measurement of how much Capsation is in Right What is the Scoville Scoville? What is Scoville scale

It is based on... Scoville unit is a unit of pungency recorded in Scoville heat units. It is based on the concentration of capsationoids among which capstation is the predominant component. And really quick, I'd like to give a quick shout out to Sean Evans for teaching me this shit, okay? Sean Evans taught me everything I know about Scoville

and Scoville unit. Shout out to Hot Ones and shout out to First We Feast because that's how I know what the Carolina Reaper is. It's how I know what Pepper X is. it's how I know what ghost peppers are. Okay, and when Popeyes came out with that ghost pepper sauce, that shit was not a joke. Had me coughing blood into my hand. Okay, and I love spicy food.

Do my bowels love spicy food? No. Hell, can my bowels handle milk? No. Tom Segura has that bit that's like, oh, is the milk too spicy for your tummy? Oh, is the milk too spicy for your little tummy? Do you go poop on your panties?

Yes, I will. I remember the first time I went to a doctor and she was like, yeah, you just don't have the like, you don't have the, uh, it's not an acid. It's a, it's not a protein. Lactic. You don't have, it breaks it down. All right, guys. How does lactose intolerance work? Lactose intolerance happens with your smell and tasted. Okay, okay, struggling back with your smell and tasted does not make enough digestive enzyme or it's called enzyme. That's what it feels like When you start talking You feel that mucus bubble growing in your throat

Lactors and tolerance happens with your Hey guys, myca, Bricin, Bricke, bitchy, like when your small intestine

does not make enough of a digestive enzyme called lactase. Lactase is my favorite British drag queen breaks down the lactose in food

so your body can absorb it. Lactase, digestive enzyme. Now, what is an What is an enzyme? We're really getting to the bottom of this today, guys. Enzymes are proteins that act as a biological catalyst by accelerating chemical reactions. So that's what it is.

My body cannot break down the lactose. And for that reason, furthermore, and inevitably, I am lactose intolerant. And I grew up drinking like literal cups of milk with dinner. I had horrible cystic acne and diarrhea all the time, but damn, that shit was smacking. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat in the night Just like, I need a nice cold glass of cow's milk I do miss cows milk Sometimes, oh my God, I was in an airport lounge recently

I was in an airport lounge And I got, they had one of those little coffee machines Okay, and I was like, a latte From an automated coffee dispenser, I don't have to interact with anyone And probably this machine hasn't been washed in two months Yeah, I'm getting one. Went up there and I was like,

Where's the option for, okay, I guess it's just real milk. Clicked it. I made a decaf coffee, okay? And I peered into the little machine. Probably wasn't supposed to. Open the little door, and it's literally just a gallon of milk that they've put a little feeder tube into. So, you know, when the coffee comes out and it's like, that's the curing noise. When it's percolating like a butt.

And then the other tube comes in, that one's milk. I literally was like, I wonder if this is like a powdered milk or if it's something else. No, bitch, it's coming straight out of that gallon. I don't know what I thought was going on behind the scenes of a coffee maker. Sometimes I watch clips back from this podcast and I'm amazed at how sometimes when I try, how articulate and see, forgot the word that I was going for, how articulate and eloquent I could be when I really sit down and put my brain to something. And then sometimes I am shocked and amazed by how a coffee machine works, how a coffee maker works, how they can automate a latte.

And I think that's the beauty of life. Never stop being amazed by these small things. Okay, life's full of awesome, amazing things. Like an airport lounge coffee maker. Anyway, I sat down with my little airport lounge coffee and I was like, this is delicious. It wasn't, but it was free. And so I'm drinking it. I'm not joking, within seven minutes.

Count him, seven. I was on the toilet. It goes through me like that. I don't, like, I can't tell you the last thing I probably had with cow's milk in it because I know that's the response. And I just kind of was like, you know what? I've got time to spare.

So if there is a diarrhea blowout, if I coat this airport lounge bathroom in orange spray, first of all, I have time to be escorted out in handcuffs, and still make my flight. And second of all, you know, I bring baby wipes with me. I'm a prepared adult. I always have a MacBook charger, a tube of chapstick, and some baby wipes. Because you never know what the day is going to throw at you.

I'm in that bathroom. And I'm like, all right, 45 minutes to board. This is going to take me about 40 minutes to clear out of the tubes. And so I'm in there. And I am not joking. I hunkered down like I was on fucking Apollo 11, dude. What's the one that exploded? probably Apollo 13

because that's an unlucky number dude 7th crew mission in the Apollo space program and the third meant to land on the moon Apollo 13 crash disaster 7th crew Yep, Arne knew that Hardship caused by limited

Ooh critical need to adapt What's the What is the Apollo that exploded Apollo 13 was NASA's third mood landing mission. Can I talk? Apollo 13 was NASA's third moon landing mission, but the astronauts never made it to the lunar surface.

During the mission's dramatic series of events, an oxygen tank explosion, almost 56 hours into the flight, forced the crew to abandon all thoughts of reaching the moon. Okay, this isn't the one I'm thinking of. Apollo won. The first fatal accident in the history of U.S. spaceflight occurred on January 27th, 1967, during preparations for the first manned mission of the Apollo

Space Program. This is when a fire broke out in the command module of Apollo 204 during a simulated launch, all the astronauts died of asphyxiation. What is the one I'm thinking of? Not a... Challenger! On the bitterly cold morning of January 28, 1986, the Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart 73 seconds after its launch from Cape Canaveral, crashing.

into the Atlantic Ocean from an altitude of some 50,000 feet. All seven astronauts aboard were killed, including Krista McAuliffe, a high school teacher who had been selected as part of a national teacher-in-space initiative. God, that's so sad. I remember learning about this in school. This was so sad. An investigation later found that NASA had known that extreme cold temperatures could result in damage to the spacecraft's rubber O-rings,

which separated its rocket boosters and prevented fuel leaks, but elected to go ahead with the launch anyway, prompting widespread outrage and the temporary suspension of the space shuttle program. Damn. Okay, so Apollo 13 was not fatal. Apollo 13 fatalities? Apollo 13, what happened? The mission was aborted after rupture of service module oxygen tank.

It was classified as a successful failure because of the experience gained in rescuing the crew. the mission spent upper stage successfully impacted the moon. Damn, so everyone survived, period. Now, to relate this back to, suddenly this feels like a doomed story. I'm not going to finish it. Trying to relate like a failed NASA mission where there were fatalities to me shitting my pants in the airport lounge bathroom. I'm going to go ahead and stop all in the head. I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to mix that one.

Okay. that one is going to be a never mind back to my lactose intolerance yeah I blew it up before I went on the plane so I did not impact everyone who was writing

with me on said airplane now speaking of NASA actually this is a great segue into what I wanted to talk about fantastic news coming from the research and development front in Broski Nation hope everyone is sat

hands off the wheel and pencil and hand legal pad on the lap. Now, please put on the automated driving feature in your car. If you do not have one, invest in one. Because I need full attention on what I'm about to say. I need absolutely eyes closed, listening ears on. One, two, three eyes on me. If you can hear me, clap twice.

If you can hear me clap three times. If you can hear me sing, Baby, Audrey, baby, Audrey Zay. Did you do it? Okay. Now that I have everyone's attention, thank you for gathering here today. Some major updates on, like I said, the expansion front, okay? Incredible news. Broski Nation is expanding into space. Yes. Thank you. Thank you guys. This has been years. Seriously, guys, stop. Thank you so much. This has been years in development. We have put every ounce of our resources, our money, our tax paying dollars, our taxpayers' dollars into funding this mission.

Do we have clean water still? No. Okay, do we have enough food to feed our people? No. Is the economy in disrepair and collapse? Yes, it is. But we are making strides not only for the betterment of Brozky Nation, for the betterment of humanity. Can I get some claps? Now, a few of you will be selected to be shot out into space.

And I feel the need to warn you up front. We do not have proper safety protocols. What was to be learned from the Apollo missions? How to rescue a crew. We did not have access to the NASA files. They were not declassified until years after we started this program. You know, America, we set foot on the moon, 1969. Ruski Nation, we did that in the 40s.

We had access to some really highly classified tech and intel that we later leaked to, you know, the Russians, the Americans. And, you know, am I American? Yeah. But Brozky Nation, it's sort of like a Vatican City sort of thing. Vatican City exists and operates and has its own jurisdiction within the city of Rome. Okay. The papal. The papal seat. And did you know that there's a Pope-Mobile?

you guys know about the Pope Mobile this is the Pope Mobile when the Pope is paraded through the city they go ahead and put him in the back of this pickup truck

that is bulletproof glass and I would like to think in an alternate reality that this chair is like the chair that Nickelback describes in the song Rockstar

the when a big black chair with a back chair a bathroom in it. That's what this is. It's got a sort of commode in the bottom of it. A toilet, a turlet. The Pope Mobile has a leather recliner

with a massage chair and a turlet in the bottom. The Pope gets up and it's a big brown stain on his white rooms. Okay, that feels kind of sacrilege. I'm gonna go ahead and leave that one there as well. No more, guys, we're not doing skidmark jokes about the Pope. We're not doing skiddy jokes.

Those are low-hanging fruit. Do not laugh at that. Imagine this is like an F-150. I mean, that's a dead-ass truck that they put. Is that George Bush? Pope Francis debut's new Hyundai version of Popmobile. Shout out the Koreans. Shout out Hyundai.

For real. Last night, I enjoyed a nice bulgogi Kimbop. Speaking of Korea, shout out to my Koreans. And shout out 21 and Girls' Generation. Love you guys. Hope you're doing well. And I sent my friend Kristel a text in Korean, I downloaded the Korean keyboard, and I said, I'm eating kimbab and, how do you say it? Tubok, Tuwokki, tuwoki, it's the soup with the rice cakes in it and like fish cakes.

It was so delicious. And I texted it and I said, I'm eating kimbab and tuvoki, and I miss you. And I sent it in Korean, and she responded, what the fuck, LMFAO? I miss you too. Anyway. Okay, Popmobile. So I'm imagining this is like a lifted It's a lifted F-150

That's got those really fucking bright headlights Like the B it's like LED beam headlights That alternate colors And it's got a big American flag on the front And it's lifted and jacked And it's got those LED strip lights under it too And then in the back of course is Papa

Okay, we got Papa Francesca Pope Francis Anyway, back to the news at hand. Yes, guys, guys, space, it is possible. We have been in space, like I said, 20 years before the American space research, NASA. National at Air. National NASA stands for National Aeronautics and Space Administration. We started on 1958.

Yeah, well, ours was started in 1957. I mean 1945. Our started in the 40s. So, NATO, North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Yeah, well, Bro Ski Nation or Atlantic Treaty Organization. We actually have the Roski Nation Pacific Organization. Have you seen that clip of Hamza and Martin? Martin was...

Oh, God. Okay. This is for the chronically online girls. And I know that probably majority of y'all. During the pandemic, Chase Rutherford, Haley Sharp, Claire Who else was in it? Hamza. Martin was in it. I think it was the four

of them. I forget what they're freaking little, they used to go live on Zoom or they used to do Zoom calls or whatever and fans would clip it and put on text on it. It was like a thing during the pandemic. Okay. Hamza was part of that and then I didn't realize he was Canadian and so was Martin, that

kid Martin, that Martin kid. I've loved them for years. Okay? They now are a duo called Slushy Noobes. I've talked about them on YouTube before. I fucking love them. Uh, they make me giggle like no other. And there is this clip of Martin and Hamza doing a side-by-side draw my life where Hamza's like, and then my family immigrated and it was hard and we had no money and my uncle got deported. And then-da-da-da-da. And Martin goes, yeah, well, my dog died. So stupid. I love them.

Okay. So just to recap the last few Google searches I've done. NASA stands for Hyundai Korea, Popmobile, Apollo 13, what happened, what is an enzyme, what is the Scoville scale. Okay, now back to the matter at hand. I have put a down payment on a spaceport. Once again, with your tax paying dollars. Thank you, Broski Nation is what I came here today. Let's give this globe a nice little spin, okay? Our blast off point will be from boom.

You guessed it. Silicon Valley, California. Okay. Actually, where's somewhere that doesn't exist? Yeah, this whole area up here, like a Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, we're going to be blasting off from there in case there are any fatalities for, you know, whoever I end up putting on these missions, whoever the lucky volunteers that are volunteering to be shot in a space. Shout out you guys. In case there are some fatalities, which, you know, we have a lot of funding for this program, but not a lot of safety protocols. We're going to be blasting off from there. So if we decimate the land, it's just going to, we're just going to, we're. We'll evacuate the bison and the buffalo out of the area because they are endangered. I'm pretty sure. Are bison endangered? Not extinct.

While bison are no longer threatened with extinction, the species faces other challenges. The loss of genetic diversity, combined with the loss of natural selection forces, threatens the ecological restoration of bison as wildlife. A low level of cattle gene introgation is prevalent in most, if not all, bison herds. I knew that. Bisons are eight feet tall? God damn. Bison next to a human.

Oh, those are extinct. Size comparison of an adult human to the giant extinct bison latifrons, which lived in North America. Oh my God. So now we just got these tiny pussy ones. Oh my God, if I ever saw bison in real life, I literally shit down my leg.

That is so scary. You know what's scary than bison dude? Moose! Oh my God. Meese. Meese next to A human. Meese.

Oh my God, I hate moose. So big. Leave bro alone. They're 10 feet tall. What are you talking about? That is just... Human, dear, elk, moose. How an elk's cry

pierces the gentle morning. Meese. Okay, shout out to moose. I'm going to leave y'all alone. If there's moose in that, area, we'll move the detonation site, okay? Oppenheimer Broski Nation edition. Okay, like I was saying,

I've put a down payment on a space portal. Soon, coming soon, more Broski Nation merch drops and a space portal. Okay, we're getting the fuck out of here, guys. Things are not looking good. They're not looking good, and I'd like to offer an escape. I'd like to offer a way out. All you have to do is volunteer to be shot on to do.

into space. Okay, we need somebody to build it. We need somebody to build it. I, my hands look like this, so yours can look like that, okay? But you zoom in and it's like one of those really HD SpongeBob Spongebob paintings and my hands are like blood-caped mud under my nails, just like leathery sunspots. That's me building the space portal for you guys. I do need volunteers though. I can't do it all. Oh, boy, me loutsome, can I? I can't do it all buy me loadsome. So those are two major updates on the expansion front, Broski Nation. We ran out of space on Earth.

We have depleted all the resources. No clean water, no more food. GMOs are out of control. I was in London recently. Apples are this big. American apples fit in the literal, like, in your hand, way too big. English chickens? I could eat a whole one by myself.

They're the size of your hand. American chickens, big, girthy, like, okay? Those, a chickens, an American chicken's legs are the size of like a small dog. Like, meaty, vainy, musl-y, like protein powder. Okay, the American chickens take pre-workout

before you eat them. That's what it feels like. Like, when you see a rotissory chicken at Publix, at Ralphs, at Crotein, Walmart even. Damn, that hole has been pumped. She's got a pump going. An English hen, oh my God,

it is the smallest, most delicate, hmm, hmm, that is just satisfying enough thank you so much for this lovely meal. Thank you so much for this lovely meal. Really, how'd you prepare this is for a lovely thing? Oh, it's just enough, I'm quite satiated, really. Maybe just a small little treat before I go off to bed. Not as a cup of tea?

Okay, an American chicken is like, You eat a fourth of it and you're like, fucking Christ, I'm full. Another! It's just truly like, we live in a food desert and I always forget that until I come back here. Every time I go to Europe, I'm like, God,

no wonder we are all in our Wally chairs. I've talked about that ad nauseum on this podcast. We are the fat whiteys from Wally and our little chairs and our big chairs with our iPhones right here in front of our with our big 7-11 slumping cups I'm hungry

and a fucking holographic meatloaf appears next to us watching our shows our fat little toes bed sores all on our back and our little levitating chairs my god glokey would hit though okay we're almost

There. We're approaching Wally territory when it comes to meta-AI. I don't know, dude. Anyway, Roski Nation, we're entering space. So if you guys are interested in joining the Space Force, BNS-N-SF, Roski Nation Space Force, let me know. We're looking for qualified members to draft, okay? You have to be, honestly, all you have to be is willing. and we'll shoot you out into space.

If you've had enough, guys, comment down below. We'll shoot you out into space. Speaking of space, I was at the airport recently because I was coming back to L.A. from being in London for like two or three days. I was shooting something. Ooh. It was a commercial ooh.

I was flying back and I was in the international terminal, which is the nicest terminal because I don't know if that's the way the case with like every major international airport, but like the international terminal in an LAX is like rich, fancy. There's like gorgeous huge art hanging. It's the tallest ceilings you could ever imagine. Everything's new and pristine and clean. And then the other ones are like, you want a water fountain?

It's brown. You're like, free water and you touch it. It's brown water. Fuck! There's one restaurant and it's like some nas... It's like Jersey mics, but there's one poor employee working back there. They haven't gotten a food delivery three days. You're like, could I have the chicken and lettuce?

Out of chicken, out of lettuce. I'll just have bread with mustard, I guess. That'll be $28. Thank you. Could I have a Diet Coke as well? Anyway, the International Terminal is so nice. And I'm sitting there waiting for my bag, okay? And we're around the big baggage claim thing.

and it's so like just clean. And every time they would make an announcement, they'd be like, thank you so much for flying into LAX. We're happy to have you. If you're coming in from Auckland, New Zealand, your bags will be on baggage claim, six. Thank you. It's like the most nice, whatever.

There's like so many different people running around, like so many different languages and whatever. It's just such a cool, chaotic experience. I was standing there waiting for my bag. And I was like, you know what? This is kind of like Star Wars. Okay, it's like they made Star Wars real fucking life. What?

What? I was sitting there waiting for it, and I was like, hearing languages I don't understand and they were announcing this shit, and everything's so new and futuristic looking. And I was like, okay, this is literally Star Wars. This is like if Mandalorian was flying from Tatooine to, freaking naboo and they had to go on a space shuttle check your bag like i stood there alone i was traveling alone just waiting for my bag and i was like i thought that i was like this feels like getting on the star tours ride at disneyland and i was like yeah it does and then i had to zoom out for a second

and be like you're so fucking stupid bitch like that it's just called air travel it's just called getting on a plane star wars isn't real i was like this is just like i could they made Star Wars in real life. Hmm. Idiot. There's that scene from, I think it's Andor. I need to rewatch Andor, by the way,

because Andor Season 2 comes out soon. Yeah. And The Ackleite, bitch. The new Star Wars series, The Acolyte comes out soon. So excited. And House of the Dragon season two. Yop!

Yeah! Big, big summer for annoying people. Big summer for annoying sci-fi fantasy girls. Okay? I've got the fucking bad sort of good. Because I'm... Talking about Star Wars, get really excited. What the fuck is I talking about?

This is just horrid every time I do this. What was I talking? Here we go. There is a scene in Andor, I believe, where, or is it Mando? No, it might be Mandalorian. Like the sort of end of Mandalorian season three, when he's not even in one of those episodes, pissed me off. And they're traveling, and they make them go through those,

it's like metal detectors and you can only have a certain type of weapon on the shuttle transport oh I think it was the Mandalorian and so Mando boards this shuttle transport thing I guess to go from planet to planet and he has the best car armor that he had

the armorer make for Grogu to protect it you know like even if Mando can't see him he will be protected he still knows that Mando cares about him whatever because he was like a father to him okay and he's sitting there and he's looking out the window and another little shuttle goes by and it's a kid with a parent or something like that. And so it's cute, sort of,

you know, foreshadowing of the decision that Grogu will make in the future. Okay, all that to be said, you don't really get to see that stuff in the mini-series. Like, that's mainly in, I want to say, you know, the main movies where you get to see the sort of world building elements of, like, the droids that bring the coffee and food or the automated things. like that of space travel or wherever. I love all that shit, and that's what I love about Galaxy's Edge in Disneyland and Star Tours in Disneyland and Disney World, where when you are walking through the waiting area to get on the ride, it's all that.

It's the droid, like, make sure your carry-ons no larger than this is it. And then the departures and arrivals are all in like basic or whatever it's called. It's like in alien language, bro, and I loved it. Anyway, I love all that So I was at LAX thinking about that That this is just like Star Wars Food is real Except it's just I'm at LAX and I flew British Airways

Okay, two completely separate things that I need to talk about That I have absolutely no segue into or out of Okay, I'm just gonna sort of check them off my list Songs of the Week I may appear chipper right now Okay, I had a lavender vanilla latte It's running through my veins

coursing through my veins I have been in what some might call a quasi-depressive state recently. I don't know if it's the fucking weather or the season. Usually, like, it's common for a lot of people to be depressed or experienced depressive symptoms during the wintertime. And, like, April is when things really turn around. I don't know what the fuck was going on in April, dude. April was like, war of the world's planet of the apes, war of the world's in my mind.

Just every day, waking to sundown, just, I don't, just planes crashing. There's a rebellion and then there was like a global. There was an Orient and a rebellion in my mind. Every day, I'm just, I don't know, it's just a struggle. And I'm still in it. And I don't really know how to curb it or quell it. it. You know, it's like at a certain point, this is my job. I need to get on the camera, turn it on, whatever. Like, I can do that. But I don't know what was in the fucking air for April,

dude. I had a panic attack. I've had a panic attack in so long. It was horrible. I had a panic attack so bad. I had to listen to jazz. I had to listen to Basanova, dude. When you've a panic attack so bad, you've got to throw on that Brazilian Basanova playlist. Holy shit. Horrid. Anyway, I've been kind of going through it in a lot of different regards. And the psychics on TikTok, I think, need to be drawn and quartered. Because I'm over it, quite frankly, dude. That shit is more damaging to my mental health, the state of my mental health, than not going, then like, I don't know, because it feeds the delusion.

At a certain point, that's why a really good friend is a friend that will sit you down and be like, they're not an enabler, okay? they're going to call you out when you need to be called out. When some behavior you're exhibiting is damaging or maybe it's not healthy or maybe you're spending too much time obsessing over something. And there's a gentle way to approach a friend when they're going through something like that versus a friend that's just like, yeah, girl, exactly. Yes, exactly.

No, like, yes. I don't need that. I want a friend that's going to sit me down and be like, you need to fucking wake up, girl. If I have a friend that I'm embarrassed to tell something to, that's, that's, that's, that's, That's the best friend you could have. Because it's this sort of moral guidepost in your brain that's like if so-and-so would not like to hear that from me, then maybe I shouldn't be doing it.

Maybe I shouldn't be talking to this person. Maybe I shouldn't. You know what I mean? It's like let your friends be the moral guidepost when you can't be it for yourself. Because we all have weekdays and we all have struggle bus moments. And like I have friends like that where I'm like, God, they would be so mad. if they knew I was talking to this dude again. Anyway, all that to say, Ethel Cain is going to be all three songs that I have to share with you this week specifically.

And the M.O. has been, as of the last, I don't know, four fucking weeks. I've been traveling nonstop. Like, I'm finally back home. That's why I logged a bunch of episodes because I had to be gone for three weeks straight. And, like, there's something also that's just sad about not laying in your own bed. You know, like, I try to travel with things that are comfortable to, me that make me, uh, that are comforting, you know, but I don't know, it sucks. It's hard not being, I'm such a homebody like I have to be in my bed surrounded by my things with my ambient noises and

my snacks and my whatever. And so being gone for that long, it's like, uh, I can do it because it's work and it's fun and I love my job, but I just miss my house. So anyway, the MO as of late has been ambient rain and fire noises on the TV, crackling fire, sort of rain out, I like the YouTube ones that have a lot of plants in them where it's like a bedroom with a crackling fire and plants and like cozy, you know, you throw that up there

on my little Google Mini or in my headphones, I'll of course put on Ethel Cane the songs I'm about to say I travel with my own Blanky I got half my own Blanky I'm 27 at a certain point when do you ask for help

and then I've been playing Cake Sort again I'm not sponsored by Cake Sort dude I just look I've spent upwards of like I said, $150. $150 on this fucking game. You know that TikTok of the old woman that's like, I've never told anyone this in my life.

In 2018, during a depressive manic episode, I spent $900 on Candy Crush or whatever she said. That's dead ass me. Cakesort some days is the only thing that keeps me on my feet. Like, I'm not joking when I say that. And I turned my best friend Tamer. her onto it too. She's been going through a hard time as well and she goes, at least I've got cake sort to get me through it. It's so real. I don't know what it is. I love that game.

Been playing cake sort, Ethelcane, ambient music, comfortable blanket, ice water by the bed. And I've been reading my book. All those combined, it's like, God, maybe things will be okay. Hey, maybe things will be okay. Okay, so all that being said, here are the songs. And I found this playlist on Spotify, which is so tea, that's called Ethel Cain songs in order. Let me find it. Ethelcane songs from least to most disturbing.

And so the least disturbing is crush, an American teenager, and then it ends with one of my songs, Head in the Wall, Hard Times, and August Underground, which I fucking love Ethelcane, dude. I love her. And that's part of the appeal Is like that's the art bitch

It's disturbing Art comforts the disturbed And disturbs the comfortable I re-blogged the fuck out of that on Tumblr I was like God, that's so true Me after looking at a Jeff Coontz piece God that is so true And if you don't know Jeff Coontz

This is gonna be him It's the giant metallic balloon dogs He makes balloon animals He doesn't even make him Okay, I don't even know if they're his brainchild ideas. It's just his name slapped on it. Jeff Coons is the epitome of like

rich people tax fraud art. Like this is not real art. You know, that's a conversation for maybe a different time. There's a lot of think pieces on YouTube about is Jeff Coons art or is this just a facade, like an almost mattress firm laundering money front for rich people.

Anyway, I saw this shit though in high school and I was like, this represents when you look at in the metallic you're looking at yourself and we're all just kids playing, our hands are too small and play with the earth because it's so big seriously guys yeah dude these songs are like really

fucking disturbing I'm not gonna lie to you but like work diva she's also performing at the Greek this summer and I'm going to show up in a nun costume and levitate above the crowd I'm going to show up and be performing exorcisms for free. Actually, not for free. I'm going to have my Venmo there and I'm going to be like, I'm going to set up a booth at the Greek. If you need an exorcism, if you need a reading, if you need a cleansing, drop five bucks in my Venmo. Guys, five bucks in the Venmo, it goes, oh, just built my

mic, goes towards space travel. Five bucks in the Exorcism Venmo, it's going right towards the space funding fund. Your funding space travel. Bro Skies Nation, we're putting a Popeyes on the moon. Let's get those monies in the Venmo. Let's get those U.S.Ds. in the VNMO. What is a nun's costume called? Habit? What does a nun wear? The traditional habit.

Three pieces are consistently worn. A tunic, a belt, and a veil. The habit of some Dominican sisters consists of a tunic belt scapular veil rosary, and on formal occasions, a capa, a mantle. What's a nun's hat called? Wimple? Y'all could not have tried.

chose it a worst name. Also known as a nun's hat or wimple. To be even more exact, the cornet. Stop. Wimple. I like your wimple. Hello, sister, I like your wimple. Kind of goes crazy. Yeah, I like these little lobster eating bibs they got on, too.

They're real cute, too. They got the dickies on under the dress. the Dickie's fake turtlenecks that you can put on so you don't sweat and then they got the lobster eating the crawfish bibs okay, me when I show up to red lobster

with my own crawfish and lobster eating bib but it's just a nun's habit okay, I'm sorry sorry doesn't even begin to cover it if you're Catholic, if you're a sister, sorry and to the Pope, sorry so I can't make lifted F-150 jokes

about the Pope-Mobile and say that sisters were a lobster bib? So, like, I guess comedy's dead. Oh, so I can't say that sisters have a built-in lobster bib. Is Red Lobster going out of business? Red Lobster out of business? Red Lobster considers filing for bankruptcy. God, this nation's in the shitter.

God, this nation's in the shitter, I'm serious. This is the calm before the storm. You try to shut down Red Lobster. You try to rid me and mine of cheesy cheddar biscuits. War. War is coming. We're going to storm. January 6th stormed the Capitol, we're storming Red Lobster HQ.

Give me the recipe for the cheddar biscuits. I know they sell them in stores. They never hit the same way they do when you're actually at that table and they bring them out in that little with the cloth over it. Oh, sweet God. Red Lobster, if you can hear me. Red Lobster, if you can hear me, send 30. Red Lobster, if you can hear me, send 15 king crab legs and some cheddar biscuits to my house. Amen.

Red Lobster, if you can hear me, please. Okay, Ethel Cane songs. Number one is God's Country. I don't know who the fuck is on this song. And I don't know if he's problematic either. But let's look it up. God's Country, Ethel Cane. I love his voice.

It freaks me out. Wicca phase springs eternal Who the fuck is that? Wicca Wicca what? Faze springs eternal Oh he's kind of hot? Fuck

35 years old His name is Adam He's an American musician from Pennsylvania Beginning his career as a member of the rock band Tiger's Jaw He soon began pursuing a solo career With a sound bass in hip-hop, emo, and Witch House That sounds sick as fuck What is witch house, dude?

Springs Eternal Problematic Oh, here we go R slash Ethel Cain Damn I've been seeing a lot of negative Okay, this is a post on Reddit Oh, we're in the bowels of this shit now

I've just been seeing a lot of negative discourse about him and his verse on God's country lately I've seen people literally say this is one of the worst features of all time and I think that's just so unwarranted Yeah, agreed It's not a bad verse I actually like it He stays on theme throughout the song, and he did a beautiful job lyrically. Yeah, what's the hate?

WPSE song recommendation for the daughters of Kane. Suffer on. Yeah, let's add that one to the library. Suffer on. Eternal. What's his name? Wicca Faye Springs Eternal. Where did it go?

I'll give that a listen and see what's going on here. What is Witch House? What do we think which house is? We've got to get into that. I can't stand his voice. The verse itself is fine. I just find his voice whiny. Oh!

That's fine and all, but his voice is grating to me. The weird acts that he sings in, I just can't listen. I love his verse. I don't understand the hate. Favorite artists of all time. Girl, Reddit is such a fucking... This is the scary thing about the internet. Is you can find any, any website, any opinion can be backed up by

something you see online. And that does not mean that there's validity to it. It doesn't mean that it's correct. It doesn't mean that it's true. But you can find anything to substantiate a claim that you make. And that is the scary part of the internet and it's why I fucking hate arguing

with my mom about politics. It's because you and I are on two completely separate planets where you are unable, for the most part, to differentiate between what is true and what is false. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it, but I've been on the internet longer. I've been on the internet longer in a more meaningful and engaging way

because by default, yes, my mom is older and she was on the internet before I was born because it was in the late 90s but it's in a different way than how I grew up with a device in my hand and an account when I was in the sixth grade for every social media that was available. It's different. I've been exposed to more

and you know what the true test is? is like, if you were to pull up an AI video of Tom Cruise saying some shit, I can tell it's AI. I don't know if my parents could. Because I've been on the internet long enough, but even then, on TikTok, we're always like, is this song AI? Is this a leak? Is this a demo?

Is this whatever? Even it gets us. I'm not saying that I'm immune to misinformation. I'm just saying I'm primed more to seek it out. Anyway, confirmation bias is what I'm talking about. Like, shit like this. if you have an opinion, you can find someone to back you up online. Doesn't mean you're right.

And when it comes to music, obviously I'm talking about, it's completely different because this is all opinion-based. Like the original poster is saying that they're not annoyed and then all the comments are like, I am annoyed and then some are like, no, actually this sounds good. Just shut the fuck up. I like how he sings. It's all this online. And it's all to die.

I'm under that. Because the tone of the song is so sad. And like, like lamenting almost. Okay, God's Country by Ethelcane, number one. Michelle Pfeiffer by Ethelcane number two, and Head in the Wall by Ethel Cane number three. Now head in the wall is going to be pretty down there on that list of disturbing Ethelcane songs.

Let's go ahead and go through the words. I've just been kind of feeling like this lately. if you know what I mean. I put on my Instagram story the other day, like, you get it or you don't. You get it and understand it on an intrinsic cellular atomic level, or you don't.

I cannot attempt to explain how the song makes me feel and how it's just, it's sort of like the Lana fan base. Like, you get Lana or you don't. Sorry, I really don't know how to put it into words. You understand the art and what it's going for and the aesthetic and the cultural perspective that the artist sings and pulls from, or you don't.

You know, or you listen to it topically and all you hear is the melody and you're like, ah, this sounds kind of monotonous or monotone, whatever, and you move on. Or you take it at a subcutaneous level of understanding and you enjoy it and interpret it through that means, through that level of understanding. and that's kind of where I'm at. It opens up with sometimes you make me want to put my fucking head through the wall. I hold my head underwater just to drown out the noise. It's always my fault.

Girls will be bitches and boys will be boys. I know I don't need you, but I'm terrified of letting you go. How am I supposed to feel good about myself when everything I do is wrong? When I'm just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak, and I don't want to go on and I don't want to leave my house. Damn. There's no escaping you now. I'm going to die all alone next to you in this piece of shit town.

And we've been cursed since the start. Jesus didn't want us. And you take all of your sins out on my body like everyone else does. God. And the end of this song is, and fuck the cops and fuck God. And fuck this town for ruining us. And they'll put holes in all we own and in our heads pumped full of lead.

Jesus. You always told me I could only leave you once we're both dead. Sometimes you make me want to put my fucking head through the wall. Jesus Christ. I just got to chill. Chill through my body. Like, she's so, it's like, you have to be in the mood to listen to Ethel Cain. It is heavy.

It's heavy, dude. Type shit I've been on, though. You know what I mean? This is what I've been on as of late. Golden Age by Ethelcane. God damn. 30 minute long EP changed me. Changed me as a woman.

Obviously love, like preacher's daughter's so good. Inbred's good. Golden Age, I've just been bumping golden age recently. Okay? Like I said, I will be seeing Mother. The Daughters of Cain will be having a meeting at the Greek theater in Los Angeles, and I will be in a nun habit with a lobster bibon

levitating above the crowd, nailed to a cross. So I'm showing up. I'm parking across the street, taking a shuttle. Actually, the Greek theater is the one that's up in Griffith Park, which there's no service. There's no room. It's like in the middle of a neighborhood and like a major almost national park. There's no parking, no cell service. It's up on a hill.

It's a cluster fuck nightmare. And to get an Uber, you have to walk like a mile and a half down this hill to this really crowded intersection. So you walk in further. It's the whole thing. to show up. Okay, I'm showing up in a nun outfit. And stilettos. Okay, guys, I think that might do it for me. Seriously.

Yeah, those are my three songs. Go give them a listen. And next time, we're going to get into Phanath lore because I meant to do that this episode. I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. I talked about Ethel Cane and Star Wars. And I guess, crashing Apollo missions. So I love you guys. if you don't have your Brosky Nation uniform, which is just the Brosky Report merch for now.

Okay. Go get that.brosky.shop. It is always available if you want it. Hoodie, sweatshirt, t-shirt. New drops coming later this year. Okay. Moos. Yeah.

Moos. And we're making... Okay, don't tell anyone. We're making actual Brosky Nation military garbts. I love it. Y'all are going to fucking die when you see it. It's hilarious. I'm so excited to show you what we've been making.

Okay? That's coming later this year, probably later this summer. Okay, guys, I love you. Subscribe to this channel. I post weekly YouTube videos. Go check that shit out. If you're listening on audio only, there's a YouTube video. Go check that shit out.

We also have a TikTok. We have an Instagram. Go do what you need to do. I'm also going to put in the description of this video and every episode moving forward a link to register to vote if you are a new voter if you have never taken the time to register to vote

if you've been afraid of the process or if you're just fucking lazy now is the year. The time has come we're no longer accepting laziness and not participating in a national election. You are part of the problem if you are not voting. So I'm going to make it easy for you and I'm going to put some links in the description for some great websites like headcount, uh, rock the vote that will really help you get registered.

It's very simple. And, uh, yeah, love you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye.