The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 55: My Cursed Cocktail Menu (Proceed With Caution)

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski researches Redbull lore, discusses her Nascar dreams, lists her cursed cocktails, and reminisces about her party days in college. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany:https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Brought To You By:Tinder – Download the App NowHello Fresh – Go to https://hellofresh.com/broskiappsDipsea – Get a 30-Day Free Trial at https://dipseastories.com/broski Songs Of The Week:Pour Me A Drink by Post Malone feat. Blake SheltonGenesis, pt. ii by RayeFreightline by Randall KingGuess by Charli XCXThe girl, so confusing version with lorde by Charli XCXRegister To Vote:Headcount – https://headcount.org Rock The Vote – https://rockthevote.org Some helpful credible resources/links to help Free Palestine:Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-traumaDoctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/secure/give-monthly-double-your-impact-search-onetime-reverse-mobile?ms=ADD2301U3U49&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND.DWB_CKMSF-BRAND.DWB-GS-GS-ALL-DWBBrand.E-BO-ALL-RSA-RSARefresh.1-MONTHLY&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWZpQAMikxPIRiPMfAjYsJZ-eHiRQV2pw7tu2Jlo6YL8Gk_uaTSwH0MaAtFGEALw_wcWorld Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/IG ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW:@eye.on.palestine@aljazeeraenglish@palestinianyouthmovement@byplestia@motaz_azaiza@impact #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #redbull, #cows, #cars, #nascar, #cocktails, #college

Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brozky. Good morning, America. Welcome back to The Brozky Report starring me, your host, Brittany Brookesky. Today we are stim toy in hand, Red Bull and the Other, Chapel Roan on the Brain. Welcome back to another episode. If you're a first-time listener of The Brookesky Report, welcome. We're happy to have you.

If you're a longtime listener, my most sincerest apologies. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything, sorry for, you know, everything and all that. And thanks for being here. Thanks for your continued support. And, you know, sorry. We have a lot to get to today. Oh, my God.

My stem toy just fell on the ground. Man, you want to know something about Red Bull. I've never, maybe I'm 27 and I've never stopped to think about this. But Red Bull gives you wings means what exactly? Because the icon, the mask. for Red Bull, Inc. Of course, is a bull. How does that make sense that

it has wings? Let's go ahead and do a creative deep dive. Why does Red Bull give you wings? What does that mean? The tagline was always intended as a metaphor, signifying the burst of energy one would experience after drinking Red Bull.

But as with many things, interpretations can differ. Benjamin Carithers, a Red Bull customer, in the U.S. took the slogan quite literally. What the fuck? Oh, it's redirect me to LinkedIn. Don't care. The slogan is intended to convey the idea that Red Bull can give consumers so much energy

that they could fly. Right. Red Bull is also, what was that thing where it was voted, like the worst tasting drink that you could ever have? Okay, here we go. Red Bull. Oh, it's a bull. Yo, oh my God.

What the, am I stupid? It's two red bulls. I just had one of those moments where it's like, you've read a word so many times that you forget that it has a meaning. I literally just, what the fuck? It's a red bull on the, that's their, I can't be the only person that just realized that.

Red Bull to me has always been like, like Disney. When I think of Disney, I think, oh, that's Disney. That's not. Walt Disney's company, Disney, it's just Disney. And when you see the Disney D, I'm like, oh, that doesn't, that's not the letter D. It's like the symbol for Disney. Do you know what I mean?

Like when you've associated something with something for so long, it's hard to break it apart and be like, oh, that's because. Or am I just, what? Where does the Red Bull name come from? Red Bull was derived from a similar drink called Crating Dang, which originated in Thailand, and was introduced by the pharmacist Chaleo Uvidya. While doing business in Thailand, Dietrich Matasitz purchased a can of Crating Dang and claimed it cured his jet lag. Yeah, bitch, because it probably had cocaine in it. This is 1983.

Bitch, they were probably drinking liquid cocaine. He sought to create a partnership with Yu Vidya and formulated a product that would suit the tastes of Westerners, such as by carbonating the drink. How do we get the big fatties to drink this drink? Okay, brainstorming meeting. Thank you all for being here today with your pens and papers. Now, the topic for the day, could we get it on the screen? Thank you, Bill. All right, if everyone could attention their attentions to the projector, do you all remember these?

2000's classroom projectors holy shit these I need to get one of these for Brosky Nation when I'm teaching y'all shit

I need to get the little slides you know what I'm talking about it's this big heavy hot contraption that's glass it's like mirrored glass on top and then you put it on it and then it shines it up on the wall could I have explained that any more complicated

Okay, it's basically like with the glass and the sunlight, and you kill the ants with the magnifying glass, and then you reflect it up onto the wall. Similarly, how like a one-way mirror and a prison system might work with a one-way, two-way mirror under glass teaching science, Bill and I. Okay, guys, you sticking with me, guys? What? I need to get one of these for y'all, and I'm going to throw it up here. We're done with the green screen. Yes, this is a green screen TV, by the way. We're done with that. I'm getting one of these 2005-era projectors, and we're throwing it up here, and I'm going to start doing it. with my hands, okay? So you can see my chubby little sausage fingers. What was I talking about with this? Oh, thank you guys for coming to the board meeting. Again, this is a creative discussion. We're discussing ways to market this to a more Western audience, a more Western consumer base. Now, again, this is open to any and all ideas, but I do have final veto power, and I will call you a stupid idiot if the idea is stupid and idiotic. Okay, Bill, you said you had something to, um, to tell us. Oh, you think it should be carbonated

so the big fatties will like it? Bill? You've been promoted. You've been promoted. You're my now elite employee. That video was so fucking annoying. Okay, so they carbonated it and added fucking 600 milligrams of sugar

to make the big fat fatties like it. In 1984, the two together founded Red Bull GMBH in Fuselam-Sea Salzburg, Austria. When branding their new product, Matasitz referred Crating Dang's name in Thai. Dang means red,

and a crating, known in English as a gower, is a large species of wild bovine native to the Indian subcontinent. Now, I always thought of bovine. Hold on, a bovine's a cow. What are pigs called, swine? bovine Relating to or affecting cattle

Now here's the thing Bulls, holy fuck, bulls are bovine I guess Bulls Bulls Bull Not the show bro What is a bull? Bull is he him

Is bull he him And cow is she her Search What is the definition of a bull Is it bad to be a bull? Is he grammatically correct to use he slash she for animals? Okay.

Are bulls male? Yes, bulls are male cattle. Okay, I knew that, duh. And then cows, but then there's a third one. There's a third, there is a non-binary cow. Stupid. Bulls, cows, and... See, because some of them have horns.

Heifers. What is a heifer? Bull, here's a handy cheat sheet. Here we go. Bulls are older males, at least two years, that are used for breeding. Steers are male cattle that have been castrated. Why would you cut their balls off? Why castrate a bull?

Improved meat quality. Me, when I rip off his penis so that the steak will taste better, what are we doing in the like agricultural meat quality? quality. What? This is making me like a little nauseous. Increased safety, castrated bulls are less aggressive and easier to handle. You know, for anyone who doesn't know this, bull riding, you know, when they buck

and the goal is to stay on the bowl and like some really horrendous life-altering or life-ending injuries can occur from bull riding at the rodeo or wherever, they only buck like that because they've tied something around their testes. That's bull riding. If y'all didn't know that. Yeah, they've like, they're using their testes like a stem toy. They're, and then they're like, what if we tied an elastic hairband around this bull's penis and then rode around on it?

What, dude? Men will do anything except go to therapy. Okay, economic benefits. Castration can increase market prices for calves and decrease costs associated with fencing and handling facilities. Packers may also pay more for castrated bull carcassus than for intact bulls. What? And unwanted pregnancies. Why would that be a bad thing? I feel like you always want, you want your animals to mate, so you got more of them. Okay. Go back. Why am I feeling like this is not the first time I've Googled this on this podcast?

Why can't I get this through my thick fucking skull what a bovine animal is and what bulls and heifers are? Why can't I would never make it an ag. I need Caleb on this podcast. I need Caleb to teach me about FFA. Should I call him? I'm going to call him and ask him a question. Can I call you and ask an ag question on the podcast? We'll see what he says.

Steers are male cattle that have been castrated. Cows are older females that have had at least one calf and are usually used for dairy production. Heifers are young, female cattle that have not yet had a calf. Okay. I will be honest, I didn't retain any of that. I find it very confusing. So we'll go ahead and just leave it at that. What do we call cows and bulls together? A herd. You know what's actually very interesting is that we refer to cows by and large. I mean, a cow is a woman.

And we've referred to the whole sort of species, what we know as like a dairy cow, what we know as like a cow on a farm, as cows. Beautiful. A matriarchal group of animals. I think that's really beautiful. Back to Red Bull. Red bovine. In 1987, the company sold its first can of Red Bull in Austria.

In 1996, Red Bull began operation in the United States and has been steady and has seen steady growth ever since. Both Red Bull and Crating Dang used the same Red Bull on Yellow Sun logo. Yep, I see that right here. while continuing to market their drinks separately in the Thai and Western markets. What the fuck is... What is the difference between American Red Bull and Thai Creting Dang?

Yo! Crating Dang is a non-carbonated drink that tastes sweeter. By volume, Cratin Deng contains 33% less caffeine than Red Bull. And what's to point? It also contains... It contains 32 milligrams of caffeine while Red Bull contains 80. Dang!

The Thai version is sweeter, thicker, and has more caffeine, while the American version is carbonated and less sweet. Okay, so what's the truth? Holy shit, look how different the bottles are! That is insane to me! Oh, I've got to get my hands on this. Yeah, I've got to get my hands on Thai Red Bull. Need that now.

Okay, so what is the... Who came up with the logo? Let's see that. In 1962, it's 1967, they introduced a drink called Krating Dang in Thailand, which means red bovine in English.

It was popular among Thai truck drivers and laborers. While working for German manufacturer, Blindax, this sounds like a made-up video game backstory. And then on the planet, Blindax. Each partner invested

$500,000 of savings to fund the company. Okay, boring, boring. Health effects, let's go. Energy drinks have the effects that caffeine and sugar provide, but experts still argue about the possible effects of the other ingredients. Most of the effects of energy drinks on cognitive performance, such as increased attention and reaction speed, are primarily due to the presence of caffeine. There is evidence that energy drinks can increase mental and athletic performance. If I chugged a red... I've always wondered that you never see an athlete chugging a red bowl. Okay, we've got the bros on here for F1. I'm assuming this is either NASCAR or F1. Even on the can, it says Red Bull is appreciated worldwide by athletes, busy professionals, college students, and travelers on long journeys. I never in my life have been like, well, first of all, I'm going to do something athletic. But even if I was, I wouldn't be like, all right, let's get a Red Bull. You know, I feel like I would, you do like pre-workout or you do something like that.

protein. Like, let me get my body satiated, not my mind. Why am I vitalizing my mind? If I was a dude, I would be a NASCAR driver and I would be insufferable. I would be absolutely insufferable. NASCAR. Can women drive? At least 125 women have qualified for and started a race and won a NASCAR touring series. It's never too late. As of April 2021, Shauna Robinson, Haley Deegan, Manami Kobayashi, and Gracie Trotter remained the only women to have won a race in one of NASCAR's touring series. Shout out. Shout out to Shauna, Haley, Manami, and Gracie.

And soon to be, entering the ring, Britney Brodsky. Me when I become a famous now. Me when I leave all this shit behind, all the projects I'm working on, all the things I do, Royal Corps, this whatever, I abandon all of it. You never hear from me again, I take up a Red Bull sponsorship and I become a NASCAR driver. That's what's in the future for me. I want Cars 5. Do they make a Cars 4? Cars 4. There's not a Cars 4. When they make a Cars 4, it's going to be about yours truly. It's actually going to be an autobiographical story that I do in partnership with Disney and Red Bull to tell my story of how it's been my lifelong passion for

as long as I can remember to be a NASCAR driver. And it definitely wasn't something I just invented right now as kind of part of a bit. The way that cars got 7.2 out of 10 on IMDB and 75% on rotten tomatoes, that should be tens, tens, tens, tens across the board. I'm sorry, have you seen cars? That's 10, 10, 10. That's a plus. Letterboxed, a movie filled with joy, sorrow, learning lessons, and friendship. Okay? Tough, tough choices in your career. Do I pick my career and the success and self-actualization I'll get from that, or do I pick the friendships and relationships in my life that make me feel whole? Okay. Owen Wilson, aka Lightning McQueen, finds himself at a philosophical and truly human crossroads.

And he has to pick. And what he learns is that you can have both. Okay? You can have both within balance and within reason. You just can't let one overtake. You can't let one overtake. Okay, we've learned some good things here. NASCAR, yes, women can drive in NASCAR, soon to be me.

Thai Red Bull is different from American Red Bulls. Bulls are castrated to get a better state quality and to kind of dull the aggression. There is a difference between bull, steer, cow, and heifer. I'm going to invest in a projector for upcoming Bro Ski Nation meetings. And let's get back to the negative side effects of Red Bull. Caffeine dosage is not required to be on the product label. for food in the United States, unlike drugs. But some advocates are urging the food and drug administration to change this practice.

I have always wondered that. I have to Google that shit. The caffeine content is not on an energy drink. What the fuck? It truly doesn't say it on here. Oh, I'm lying. Caffeine content, 80 milligram, maybe. Oh, I lied.

It says right here. It's just like really tiny. It's not under the nutrient. Nutritional information. Nutrition facts. What is it in Spanish? Oh, fuck me. Nutrition facts in Spanish.

Datos de nutrition? No, it's something of health. What does it say nutrition facts in Spanish? Information nutritional. The etiquette of information nutritional

no Datos that's which one is the correct one you always sit on the back of Mexican Coke

let me just pull a picture Mexican Coke let me just information nutritional there you go Savor

origin Savor original original original Coca Coca light

Coca Cola light Coca normal Coca Coca C C Cero C Cero Remember that

Information Nutritional There you go I don't know why I was tweaking I've also seen Datos Okay Back to Red Bull

God damn Can I fucking read Shit Like stay focused God damn I know y'all are pissed off As the viewers I'm fucking annoyed

Can you I've got like 18000 tabs Tabs open I'm fucking tweaking I play with my stem to over here I'm like

Oh the Red Bull can The Red Bull can Read information Nutritoritio Shut the fuck up! What am I? Well, I don't even know what I was going to talk about today. God damn!

Red Bull Sugar Free! I'm spitting everywhere and I'm fucking sweating, dude. Okay. Red Bull C. Blue Edition. A Juneberry flavor. You know what I do? You know what I kind of overdid it on, though? One time I mixed them.

Welcome back to Britney's cocktail hour. Here are things not to make. Okay? These are drinks to make. make once and then never have again because you're going to vomit it up. Okay? You're going to puke it up. But here's something, a variant of different cocktails and beverages that I would recommend to have once and ever again. So here we go. Number one is going to be Fireball and Coke. I used to love Fireball. Fireball when I was 19. Lord have mercy on my

liver. Let me taste something right now. That shit went down like water, like juice, like juice, Like nectar to a bee. Two bees drink nectar. Yes, bees drink nectar. A sweet fluid that flowers produce, that flowers produce, shoot, drunk bees, yeah, bitch, I'm a biologist. Okay.

Fireball and Coke. Okay? Even better. You don't mix it in a cup. You take the shooter of fireball, which, by the way, what do you all call shooters? That's a southern term I'm recently realizing. Shooters.

Google is saying that a shooter or shot is a small serving of spirits or a mixed drink, typically consumed quickly, often in a single gulp. Like, yeah, you can do that. They'll do little shooters where it's like blue curacao and all this. Like it's a really strong, sweet thing to take really quickly like that, like a layered shooter. But I'm talking about we call shooters these, yeah, these little mini, they're little mini bottles that you can have in like one or two gulps. and it'll be vodka, fireball, Maloo, whatever.

And you just take them real quickly. Yeah, these are shooters. I don't know what other people call these. Nips? What is a jigger? That doesn't sound right. No, that's what you use to measure it. That's what you use to measure how much liquor to put in there.

Oh, I'm farting real bad. If y'all were in this room, you would be blind in one eye from what just expelled from my body. Okay. Shooters. Okay, back to my cocktail list. Okay. Fireball, you do a shooter of fireball in one go and then you chase it with Coke.

Cinnamon Coke. Delicious. Does not taste that delicious when you're puking it up. Okay, that's number one. Number two is going to be Malibu and Sprite. Okay, these are all like very college drinks. You can do a shooter of Malibu, chase it with Sprite. Or you can make it in a big sonic cup.

We used to do Sonic Ocean Breezes. Isn't that what it's called? Ocean Breeze? Ocean Breeze Sonic. Yeah, Ocean Water. Ocean Waters from Sonic. Oh my God, I miss Sonic so bad. They sell them as packets, bitch.

We used to do ocean waters from Sonic. You drink about a third of it. And then the rest of it is rum. You could do rum or vodka. Do a little cherry juice in there. Do a little cherry on top. Oh, my God. That diarrhea was liquid.

and it was blue. Okay, that diarrhea hit so bad the next day because not only are you hungover, you have the hungover shits, it's just sugar. It's just fucking sugar. But tastes delicious. Okay, Sonic Ocean Water and Vodka X Malibu Rum.

I was a Malibu girl. Captain Morgan seemed a little rich to me. You know, any like crack in, all those like, those were sort of high shelves. Malibu was in that plastic bottle. I knew what I was getting. I would drink it straight out of the thing. sometimes. Okay, you could do Malibu and then chase it with whatever, water, Gatorade, whatever you want, okay?

Now, the worst drink I ever had in my life, that is going to be Everclear in Gatorade. And I went to a frat party at A&M and they said, punch. Punch? Everclear? Everclear is like rubbing alcohol. Worse. Everclear is like jet fuel. That shit is lighter fluid.

And you mixed it in a big, dirty Gatorade. cooler with Gatorade. And there's flies floating on top. And you're talking about punch. Yeah, I had three cups. And yeah, it's the drunkest I've ever been to date. That shit was awful. Awful.

Because I didn't know how much you're supposed to drink. I was, I was 19. It was the first time I was drinking. I didn't drink in high school. Okay? And you couldn't go to the bars. And so when a scary white man says, here's a free drink.

Hey, guess what? I had three. Never again in my fucking life. We all have to learn. all have to learn and trust and believe. I learned my lesson. I will never, ever clear. Oh, my God, I'm going to fucking gag thinking about it.

Anyway, that was, I was so drunk. I was in front of the toilet that night talking about, Mommy. I called my mom and left her voice message and called her Mommy. That's how fucking bad it was. Mommy. Help me, Mommy. That's insane.

I can vote. Mommy. Oh, God. Anyway, okay, so that's number three. I don't recommend that one though. Okay, every clearing Gatorade, you don't have to do that one. You can skip over that if you want to. Third one, pickle shot.

Now, this one I'll still do. I'll still do a pickle shot. Never count me out of a pickle shot. I was just at a bar recently in New York with Stanley and Jack, and it was Stanley's birthday, and we were there, and I tipped the bartender a big amount of money because he was Irish, okay? We went to an Irish pub.

I tipped him a lot of money because we were some of the only people in there. It was like a Wednesday night. We shut that bitch down. I felt bad. Also, he was attractive. I think I tipped him like $80 or something. As we're walking out, he goes,

hey, come back over here. Shots. And I was like, my king, it's 2 a.m. What are you talking about shots? It's raining. It's Wednesday. He was like, shots. You know, ah, cheers, cheers.

And I was like, all right. So we did it. And I said, you got pickle juice? And he looked at me and said, no. And I said, you got all. olive juice? He was like, yeah. We went ahead and did olive juice shots. It was just vodka with a, yeah. And guess what? That shit smacked. Guess what? That shit was fucking delicious.

Do that next time. If you're ever out of, this is for my salty girls, for my pickled girls, okay? Olive juice is a chaser. Yummy. Because that's all a martini is. You're drinking it for the salty olive juice. Anyway, that was delicious. I would recommend that. And we, There's this bar in college station, Texas, called Tipsy Turtle. And I hope and pray to God every night that it is still open because I miss it so bad I want to go back there as soon as possible. It is so tiny inside. Okay?

It's just one long L-shaped bar. There's barely enough barstools to seat you and your friends, okay? Packed on a weekend. Line out the fucking door. Because they make some of the coolest, most fun shots. They have, I forget what it's called. like their little name for it, but it's essentially a spicy pickleback. It's a pickle shot with tequila, pickle juice, and Tabasco.

Bitch! And then they'll do a little pickle on the side. That's starting the night, oh, I'm blacking out and we're dancing and I'm going to be topless in about 45 minutes. Y'all start the fucking iPhone timer. I'm naked dancing in 45 minutes. I'm being escorted out of Northgate in a cop car in about T-minus 40 minutes. There's another bar called, God damn.

It's right by bottle cap alley. Let's look up the Northgate bars. Northgate, Northgate for anyone who's not from Texas, Texas A&M, the college I went to, are bar district. It's at the north side of campus, and it's all along the street that borders campus. So technically, you know, you can't drink on campus. but you just cross the street and you're there. It's the bar district. It's called Northgate, okay?

Very famous, very like, the Dixie Chicken, I think, has been there for 60-something years, 50 years. It's very steeped in tradition and things like that. Northgate bars. And let me tell you all, let me give y'all my advice, okay? As someone who went to A&M, if you are ever thinking about going to A&M, if you find yourself in College Station,

I can give you the tea on all these places. The backyard, they're notorious for taking fakes. Don't ever go there with a fake ID, because guess what? You're going to jail? Not jail, but they'll confiscate it. Okay, the dry bean. That's what it's fucking called, bitch.

I may have talked about this before. The dry bean has this, oh, I miss it so much, has this order that you can order at the bar called the breakfast shot. I may have talked about this before. It is a series of... three things, I'm pretty sure. And it's basically, it's supposed to be like a full breakfast, but in little shots.

The first one is a mimosa. It's orange juice and vodka as a shot, okay? The second one is supposed to be like French toast, and it's like Jameson with some cinnamon something. And it basically tastes like a maple syrup pancake. Oh my God, it's delicious. Then you do that. And then I think there's one more,

and then they give you a piece of bacon. So like you finish the shot and you're eating the piece of bacon as you're signing the check. Bitch! That was a luxury. If I had aced a final, if I had like done good on a presentation,

we're going to Northgate and I'm getting a breakfast shot. Okay? Oh, I miss it so much. Is this it? What is this green monstrosity? Here it is. Yeah, that's it.

It's just those two. There it is. Pancakes and bacon. Orange juice. This is some like cinnamon whiskey. And then a piece of bacon. I'm miss. This is bottle cap alley. This is um you throw your bottle caps out there and you walk on it. And it's just, that's what it sounds like. It's an alley full of bottle caps. Now, if someone could

measure the amount of puke in this alley might be a health code violation. Okay. Moving on. What was the last drink I was going to say? Oh my God. This is what I saw on TikTok and I overdid it recently this last year. Okay. I've kind of cut back on drinking a little bit. because I was tired of feeling awful all the time. And also, like, you retain so much weight because of the sugar and because of the alcohol. And I was just like, this makes me feel bad. I think I'm going to stop. Red Bull, to bring it back to Red Bull, came out with a flavor that is watermelon.

And good Lord, it tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher. It is just sweet. It's, like, carbonated. It gets you tweaking, tweaker. I would mix that with a little bit of um triple sec and vodka yeah don't okay Brittany's bar is not for everyone if you want some gross nasty shit

if you want to feel bad like even before you start drinking come to Britney's bar Britney's Bar Britney's Bar and Tavern actually I'm going to create a tavern the way that Trisha Padas has a tavern in her house, and I'm going to name it Britney's Tavern, and it's just going to be my nasty concoctions, okay? Watermelon Red Bull, triple sec, and vodka. But guess what? We don't have ice. So it's all, you're kind of relying on the coldness of the watermelon Red Bull to keep the whole drink cold doesn't last. And the warmth from your hand warms the glass. I'm sweating and my eyes won't focus. Okay. I'm sweating and my eyes won't focus and my nose is itching.

I feel like a, I'm going to start itching in a second. I'll start picking my skin in a second. Okay, watermelon red bowl with triple sec with vodka. That shit, because here's the thing, you can't just have one. You can't just have one because they're this size. They're the 8.4 fluid ounces. I'm doing that. Think of vodka.

Here's Caleb calling me. You're on live, the Broskew report. Please state your name. Why? This is Caleb Heron. I, long time, hate her, first time caller. We're happy to have you, babe. Are you doing questions right now?

I have just stepped out of the thing I was doing because you said you needed FFA help. Yes, I'm wondering if Caleb here is doing questions right now and the topic is going to be bovine creatures. Okay. Okay. Namely, I am very confused on the difference between bull, steer, cow, heifer and then alternatively, can you explain the difference in gender of sheep to me?

Okay, so A heifer is a female cow that hasn't given birth Okay And a steer is a male cow That hasn't given birth Right And, well, cows don't do that That PC liberal shit

The he-him bovines Sorry Right He they heifer My identity No! actually don't know the thing about the question you're asking about sheep. Do what, aren't there different terms for sheep, like male sheep and then also ones who have and have not given birth?

Yeah, there's like a you is like maybe a baby sheep. A you, I've heard that. But I don't, I don't know, I don't know the difference of all the sheep. I was, I was mainly, I was mainly doing cattle. You were doing cattle. Now, are any of those more expensive than any of the other ones? Like, is a steer more expensive than a heifer? Yes, I think depending on what, like, I think, I don't think it depends on necessarily the gender so much as, like, the performance. Like, if the heifer has given birth so many times.

If she's ran through. If she's ran through, basically. Or if the steer has, like, bread, like prize winning offspring versus not. Okay. Yeah, stuff like that. But actually, I don't remember a lot of it. As you can imagine, I wasn't very good at it. Well, you're too pretty for it.

I'm too pretty for agriculture, baby. That's why ugly people do that stuff and I do other things. It's true. That's why we got you out of there and we got you in Hollywood where you belong. Yeah, they plucked me right out of the country and took me to Hollywood where I belong. I know that's right. Tinsletown. Okay, well, thank you. I just really had some questions on sort of the economics of it because as I was telling them, you and I are looking to start a business soon.

I love you so much. I would do anything for you and I will talk to you soon. I love you. Okay, goodbye. Love you, bye. Okay, I'm glad we got that ironed out. I'm so glad we got that ironed out, y'all. Okay.

Thank you to Caleb for, of course, always being on call for me at any time I need him. Now, back to, what are we talking about, watermelon, Red Bull, and vomiting. You can never have just one of those. And so at the end of the night, you know, I'm three Red Bulls deep. It's 1 a.m. That's those nights where you end up staying up till 7 a.m. I don't do that much anymore. The only time I've done that has been with my friend Reed Anderson,

and there's a running joke with my friend Reed that when I see him, I'm blacking out. I know I'm blacking out. I'm like, fuck, I can't afford to do that tonight because there's no fighting it. It's going to happen. And the last time I saw him, like I saw him first, and then I looked down, my eyes paned down to his hands. He was carrying two six packs.

Reed. It's always a great time, though. It is always a fantastic time when I see my friend Reed. Anyway, that's the last time I did that was I had like three Red Bulls and some bullshit in one night. These are all on the shot list sort of like menu of Britney's Tavern. So if y'all have any nasty concoctions to add to that, go ahead and tell me in the comments under the YouTube video because, look, never too old to try. Never too old to try new things that you can learn to hate. Okay?

And I live by that. There used to back to Northgate. There used to be this bar on Northgate, which I hope is still there. And it is. Icon, nightclub, and lounge. Now, think of me. Think of me. Think of me fondly when you say, oh.

Oh, my God, all these I used to frequent. Now what the fuck is Johnny Mansell's money bar? That's not real. Manzell opened a... It's in Mamasaki? What the fuck? There is no way. What is this?

There's no way. Okay, we'll come back to this in a second. What? Me and I opened Brittany Broski's bottomless tavern across the way from Johnny Mansell's money bar. And only bottoms are allowed in. Okay, there's a place called Icon, Nightclub, and Lounge, which imagine this is like 2017, 2018, the music is bumping.

Okay? We're playing future. We're playing Drake. We're playing like Migos. Okay. All that is sort of top of the charts. This is one of the only places that wouldn't, would play like popular music that wasn't fucking country because all these other

places, a lot of them play. Or like, what was the other place? Foundies, foundations. They play shit ass music. Shit ass, bum ass music. I'm not listening to that, bro. And then the rest of these places are. They would play country music.

Like Shiner Park, live country music. So we'd go to ICON and there was an upstairs, guess what, no AC ever, with cages for you to dance in. You'd think my ass wasn't in those cages every fucking weekend, girl? Me begging, begging, begging my friends to go to ICON. Then, like, that is not fun. We don't want to do that.

Be like, but future, bro, but future, bro, where your ass was at? What about that, bro? I'm thinking about me. You're not thinking about me and what I want. What's important to me? This is important to me. If you're my real friend, you'd support me in this.

Way, yes, was that when no, they didn't need you. Me and my fashion nova top. Like, truly, like, this is American culture. Needed it so bad. Oh, 12 was fun. I don't know. All these places are, like, they're iconic, but you have to imagine.

your vibe to the place. And if your vibe is icon, like, you want to be hit on by Grossman, like you do Icon. If you want to just like a night with the girls, you know, then you go to Dragonfly or you go to somewhere else, Mama Sucky, you stand there and do Sucky bomb, like it's fun.

But usually my freak ended up at Icon and not a lot of people wanted to match my freak and end up an icon with me, okay? They're pulling me down from the cages, and guess what, I'm pissed off. So, that is my Northgate experience. And I want to go back so bad. I miss it so bad.

You know what, Sonic also had this drink called a damn. It's the one with the nerds in it. Sonic nerds. Nerds slush, is that what it's called? Nerdslush. Yeah, here we go. Spiked Sonic nerd slush. We would do this and then put vodka in it.

Vodka, you know, I am a, not only am I a vodka girl, I'm a Tito's girl. I ride for Tito's like there is no tomorrow because Tito's to me, it's one of the best vodkas because it's well made and you can't taste it. That's what I want out of an alcoholic beverage. I don't want to fucking taste it, bro.

I don't want to taste it. It tastes bad. That's why I don't like tequila. Okay, I overdid it on tequila one time. I used to do tequila shots. He used to do, oh yeah, let me get it. Can't do it. don't ever bring that shit around me.

Sometimes, oh my God, I went out with this young gentleman one time, which I have to talk about a young gentleman in a second. I went out with this young gentleman one time, and he was like, God, us drinks. And I was like, oh, that's sweet. I took a big chug of it because I was nervous. Straight tequila. Tequila on ice.

Are you a fucking psychopath? Are you a psychopath? Tequila on ice. Me holding my finger like this and it's spitting out either side of my mouth, like a fucking cartoon character. Are you out of your goddamn mind? No salt around the rim, no lime, no nothing,

just tequila on ice. I don't even care if it's good tequila. You can do casamigos this, you can do Patron, Jose Queer, or whatever. It all tastes the same to me, like the bottom of a boot. That shit tastes like boot liquor to me. I know there's some good tequila, okay?

I know that. I know that I'm probably not drinking it right. I know that, you know, you got to do it with chilled and you gotta do it with the whatever, and there's that big rich, blue and white glass bottle, and it's like, what's it called? Don 1944.

1942, tequila. Don Julio, Price. Yeah, this shit's stupid. Do you mean $200 for a 1942, anecho tequila bottle? I don't get it. I don't, I just don't enjoy the taste of tequila. If they sold vodka in something as beautiful as this, I'd buy it.

I get it. If I see every single time I'm doing Tito's, okay? Tito goes with anything. I'd even, I've tried a margarita with Tito's in it. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. I'll do anything to not have to drink tequila because I've just vomited it up. That's the theme of this episode, is vomit.

Vomit and bovine animals and Red Bull. Okay? So those would probably be on my shot list on my, my menu at my, at Britney Broski's Bottomless Tavern. Bottoms Welcome. And I would do that. I also think there would be a part of it that's like a little country bar. Ooh, I would have it be themed rooms like an escape room. One side of the tavern is like medieval tavern like knights and there's a winch serving you drinks and it's like mead.

And then you can do a turkey shot where you like you drinks like a. shot of something like mead and then you get a turkey leg and it's $45. And then another side of it's going to be a little tiki bar. We can do a little tiki bar, a little sort of beach cabana thing could be really cute. We can serve watermelon red bowl and vodka and it comes with a vomit bucket. Maybe another side of it is like weho where you ask for a drink and they say all we have is vodka and then you say, okay, I guess I'll do that. vodka crayon, that's all you can order, and it's 75% vodka, 25% cran. That's the WeHo

corner. We'll have Trixie working that because, you know, unemployed. We'll kind of, I'll give her a job. We'll put her over there. And then, um, what was the other one I was going to do? Oh, the countryside. That will do, we'll have beer. I don't really like beer. I do like cider. I like cider. I like Austin East Ciders. I think that's what it's called. That brand. They're based out of Austin. We'll have that and we'll have stuff like, um, Coke, you know, just like Jack and Coke, that sort of stuff for the real freak weirdos. That'll be, so it'll be four corners. And then in the middle is me on the Iron Throne.

In the middle is this. And you can come up and you can kiss my knuckle. And you can ask me for a blessing. I'm also, what? I'm Palpatine and I'm sitting on the Iron Throne. I'm Palpatine. I have the force. You can come up to me and I'll do my mind bending on you.

I'll use the force. and I'll make you levitate for $5 or nothing. I got to make my money too, okay? I got to pay out the bartenders. I got to pay for the liquor sales. I got to pay for the, we got to pay rent for the building. I don't own it, okay? I don't have a mortgage on this place.

Like, they could take it from, you know, I could fall short on a payment. A lot's happening. But in my mind, this is this really beautiful experience that I'm cultivating. Brittany Broskew's bottomless tavern. And the tavern's just one sort of part of it. There's this bar in Miami. I forget what it's called.

It's a gay bar. and it was the most trippy experience to me the first time I went there. Do you all know what I'm talking about? What is it called? Each room is a different theme like that. But this isn't like just corners of the bar. You keep walking through different rooms. Now imagine being blackout, lost your shoes, lost your friend.

Where are your shoes? I don't know. Where's your phone? I don't know. Do you have your ID? I'm in Miami, bitch. Miami, bar with the different rooms.

Twist. Is that what it's called? Twist. Twist Miami. Oh, this place is fun. I'll tell you that right now. Seven different bars, DJs and drag queens keep things lively

until early morning at this mega dance club. Yup. Holy shit, this place is so fun. Yep, this is it. Yeah, shout out to Twist Miami. We had a time there. And the bartenders were kind of fucking rude, and that's fine. It's fine.

Imagine, imagine being a bartender at a gay bar in Miami, Florida. That's as close to a God warrior as you're ever going to get. That's as close to Jesus Christ himself. I mean, truly doing the Lord's work, a thankless job. A bartender in Miami? Good Lord. Okay, y'all, let me see actually what I wanted to talk about today. Oh, Bridgerton, Huss the Dragon, Post Malone.

I have a crush. Cape didn't get to any of that because I was yapping about fucking vomiting and Red Bull. So that's cool. Glad that we covered the difference of different bovine animals and their pronouns. What the... At a certain point, it's like, maybe I do need someone in this room to be like, hey. Okay, let me briefly touch on two of these. I have a crush

on someone that is so debilitating, so encapsulating, so mind-numbing that I find it hard to do anything outside of the scope of my, you know, daily tasks. I have no free time because all my free time goes to him because I love talking to him and it is truly, truly awful. And does he live on the other side of the planet? Yeah.

Why? What's wrong? What's wrong? it should be easy. Oh, no, baby, it's never going to be easy. No, no, no, no. If you have a crush and it's not consuming your life, I don't think you really like that young gentleman, okay? He lives on the other side of the fucking planet. It's awful. Awful. Like, please say a prayer for me tonight. Like, this is truly, I'm suffering. Yeah, dude, it's stabilitating. It's hard not to talk about it every, every hour of the day. I'm... La la, la, la, la. La, la. La. La. La. La La.

This literally must have been like what widows felt like when their husband went off to war. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I'm sitting here with the time difference, I'm sitting here waiting for him to wake up. Just la la la la. It's awful. We're not even dating. Let's go into the songs of the week. Number one, pour me a drink by Post Malone and Blake Shelton.

Post Malone has been. doing this for a while now, a slow sort of transition into honoring his text and roots, because he's good at country music. He's good at it, and he plays a guitar, and he's got a country voice, and he's a dad now, and I think he's just growing into this, you know, new version of himself, which was great, and he's still honoring, obviously, his artistic convictions and where he comes from, and I have been really enjoying the country songs he's been put now. I also just love Post Malone. I think that he's a kindred spirit of mine. I would love to hang out with Austin Post.

I met him one time and he was lovely. I'm obsessed with him. I've always been obsessed with him. I love that song. Pour me a drink. I mean, it's the most country, like, just pop country thing you'll ever hear. Love it.

Obsessed with it. Genesis 2, Act 2 by Ray. I don't think I've spoken about Ray on this podcast yet. And how utterly. floored I am by her artistry, by her story, by how she uses her fame, by just her as a woman. I'm just, I am so obsessed with her and her art. And Genesis, I was waiting on this release for so long. And it is, it is going to be my most listened to song of this year, other than probably

Eternal Sunshine by Ariana. I am truly like, wow, Genesis Act 2. Third song is Freight Line by Randall King. I just love Randall King. I love his voice. It reminds me of Dirk's Bentley, who I used to love Dirk's Bentley when I was a kid and like in middle school. And then of course, Sabrina Carpenter. Just I've been on a Sabrina Carpenter kick.

I don't, I wasn't anti-Sabrina. I just didn't really, you know, like I was sort of in my Charlie like era. Like I was focusing on other pop girls. And I never like counted her out. I was just like, oh, I haven't delved into this discography yet. Bitch, I'm so sorry. I don't know where I was. But I'm here now, and that's what matters.

I love Sabrina Carpenter. I love Sabrina Carpenter. Oh my God. Wow. No, I just love her. So those have kind of been on repeat for me. Brat, of course, loving brat, guess. Are you fucking serious?

The Girl So Confusing Remix with Lord, are you out of your goddamn mind? I love people. a woman. I love being a woman and I love having having meaningful, deep connections with my woman friends. There is nothing in this lifetime that can compare. And it was so vulnerable what they did and just such a display of just womanhood and reconciliation and just like, I just, oh, it was just beautiful. Like, thank you. Everyone say thank you to Lord and Charlie for releasing that. My God. Okay, two housekeeping things before we wrap up,

mumoos are live. If you want a Brittany Broski Texan housecoat, nightgown, mumu, they are live at broskey.shop, go get them. We've worked on these for over a year. We worked with some incredible artists to come up with the creative designs for it, and we got them as close to, I mean, they are essentially the same as the original mumo that My Mimi gave me.

It is a thick material that's still, breathable with zippers, utility pockets. It's short, it's, it's just the most comfortable thing you'll ever own. You can get matching slippers. Um, I just, I love them and I literally live in them. So, Moomoo's already. Also, Brosky report merch is always live. If you want to go cop that as well. And then don't forget to register to vote at headcount.org. You have until around September to register to vote. So please do that ASAP if you have not already. Or if you think you're registered to vote, that you're not sure. Check it out. Just head-to-head count. They have some really helpful resources there for you. This is a very crucial election year. So please do your part. Okay, love you guys. Thanks for listening to me.

Yap about fucking nothing! Love you guys and I'll see you next week. Bye.