The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 6: Vampire Jack Townson & Other Niche Interests
Episode Date: June 20, 2023This week on The Broski Report, fearless leader Brittany Broski proclaims her admiration (obsession) for Vampire Jack Townson and breaks down other niche interests like Frozen, Love island, and more. ... Follow The Broski Report: https://www.linktr.ee/broskireport https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Brought To You By: Hello Fresh – https://hellofresh.com/Broski16 + code BROSKI16 Find Athena Club at Target Stores Nation Wide PDS Debt – https://pdsdebt.com/report
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses,
monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to
progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full,
owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you
need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.
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Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.
Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.
This is The Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brozky.
Good morning, team.
It's me.
Brittany Broski, the host of this show, The Brosky Report, starring me.
Brittany Brosky, your host.
Okay, so we laughed off, laughed weekend.
let's actually pump the brakes really quick, guys.
Everyone take a deep breath and exhale.
We're going to do it again.
Okay, hey guys, welcome back.
So we left off last week talking about Vampire Jack.
If you're not caught up, hey, now is the time to go catch up.
Go back to last week and listen to the end of that episode
because I talk about one of my favorite online content creators,
Vampire Jack Townsend.
Okay?
Here's a visual for anyone.
that wants to know. Okay? So I briefly, briefly scratched the surface of vampire jackdows.
I wish Brooke was here. Brooke would back me up. Shout out Lady Ephron. Shout out Brooke Averick.
She's really holding it down for the girls. Any podcast that I go on, any piece of media that I am on,
I'm going to mention Brooke Averick. Okay? And that's just a truth that I really hold tight to my chest.
Okay, for some fucking reason
Let me, okay, let me pump the brakes
My coffee just kicked in
Okay, don't talk to me before I've had my fucking morning coffee
And watched at least 17 Vampire Jack Townsend videos
Don't fucking talk to me
Hey, Monday mood
Okay, pump day mood
I'm just gonna turn this into like a millennial core podcast
And you guys are gonna have to deal with it
because that's what I want to do.
Okay, mustache moment.
Anyway.
So this man, this specimen.
Yeah, he's hot.
All right?
You want me to say he's not?
He's hot.
He's hot.
I'm not going to say her fucking lie.
Look at him.
Is he fucking weird?
Yeah.
I'm into it.
When your boyfriend is a thirst-trapping vampire on the internet.
She's hot, too.
Tell me you're not into that a little bit.
No?
Villains.
The girl or the world, anti-hero, burn it all down.
Wait, what?
Burn it all.
Not him using the fire going on for so long.
The caption, okay, this is a video.
This is a video that he made.
He's playing both characters.
One is the villain, one is the anti-hero.
And the villain says, your girl or the world, pick.
And he has his girl in his arms and he says, burn it all down.
and then the screen is like shaking and there's fire and flames and he's engulfed in red light.
What's the song?
I can't deal with that actually.
This is the type of books I read.
This is literally a book.
I would read this book and I would eat it up and I would reread it and I would say they need to make it to a movie.
And then I'd go on Tumblr and I'd re-blog post about it on Tumblr and I'd make it my wallpaper.
I love shit like this.
Maybe that's why I like Vampire Jack Townsend.
I am a Vampire Jack Townsend sympathizer.
Oh my God.
Maybe that's why.
It's because I love this sort of like fantasy,
almost, almost borderline toxic relationships.
Almost.
Where they love each other so much, it's toxic.
I'm obsessed with that, dude.
Okay, so this video says,
he's sexiest when he literally wants to unalive you.
And it's just really terrifying,
blurry android images of vampire Jack Townsend.
And he is hot, okay?
I just, like, can't get over.
This man probably is, like, a paralegal.
This man probably just, like, is a scribe for a court.
What's it called when you, like,
you, like, take notes of a court hearing?
That's probably what he does during the day,
and then he gets home and he's like,
fuck.
I have to clock in.
Vampire Jack Townsend.
So he clocks out of his 9 to 5 and he puts in those fucking red eye contact lenses and he goes,
I'm going to sack and blob.
And he clocks in, dude, and he delivers us this A plus S tier content every fucking time.
And he's going to do it every time.
And you bitches are mad.
You bitches are so mad about it because he's eating it up.
Yeah, and whatever.
See, like, how does he do the vampire teeth, do you think?
Because they look real.
Well, he is a real vampire, apparently.
The makeup I just, I just like, I don't.
So for audio listeners, the makeup is this red, sort of like, almost bird-like
eye shadow that comes down his nose, and it's only on his eyes on his nose.
And then he's got, like, no other makeup on his face, and then the vampire teeth in.
And usually, hey, his chesticles are out, okay?
He's showing him, boobies.
He's showing him.
Yaya's.
One thing about vampire jack, he's got his fucking yawas out.
He's got his yawas and his gut.
He wears these rings that go on every single finger and there's chains that connect him.
I'm obsessed with him, maybe, actually.
I think you guys need to be obsessed with him the way that I do.
I can't deal with it, though.
He's hot.
Look at him.
Look at him.
He is sexy, dude.
I'm saving this picture.
Oh, I got a screenshot it.
Doink.
He uses like curl cream too.
He uses Aussie herbal essences hair curl product.
Here is the caption on this video, by the way.
Here's the caption on this hot sexy picture.
Against the wall.
Oh, it's a blood emoji.
The blood drop emoji.
Against the wall we've...
I can't actually, okay, let me start.
Stop.
Stop!
Be serious.
Against the wall, we fall from grace.
The pain we love is taking shape, a burning lust to touch the flame over and over again.
We've played this role a thousand times, the same old script, just different lies.
You disappear without a trace, concealing the crimes on your face.
Still one of the hottest songs, hands down.
What's your favorite motionless and white song?
Who's that?
Who's motionless and white?
Oh, they're a very famous band.
Oh, this looks boozy.
It's all like horror themed.
Thanks for one billion streams.
We have to listen to motionless and white.
I'm going to listen to it because YouTube's getting copyrighted and I'll come back with a review.
I'm literally into this.
Okay, okay.
And we're back.
I listen to it and I'm so fucking into it.
It's giving like a little green day, a little All-American Rejects, a little
like sleeping with sirens maybe
but it's all like scary horror
werewolf vocals only
motionless and white
presents werewolf
oh they're on tour
guys we should go
they're on tour
they're not coming to California
the dark horizon tour that is so period
werewolf vocals only
I'm literally obsessed I don't actually don't care
Okay, so where was I?
Go back to Vampire Jack.
I don't care about you guys.
Okay.
Okay, so those are the lyrics that he, he, I thought that was a poem he wrote.
And I was like, oh, this kind of sucks.
Vampire Jack, why don't you stick to whatever the fuck you do?
Don't write poetry.
I also think that there's something so, like, when you're trying to be creepy and scary,
like, rhyming in a poem, not the way to do it.
Oh my God, he has a beard here.
I would like to see the baby.
Oh, it's his cat.
And he drew on a beard.
Okay, so he's a Star Wars adult, too.
Um, Vampire Jack Townsend.
What are you doing this weekend?
These are the type of fuckers I used to match with on like Tinder and Bumble,
and then they'd have a violent, passionate hate for women, hatred for women.
Like, literally, they think they're in a fucking movie.
They think they're the main character in a movie.
And, like, they seem all fun in games, but it's the type of man that's like,
don't worry, kitten, I will order us dinner because you can't read.
It's like that sort of shit.
Like, these men are so fucking delusional and not in a fun way.
Like, trust and believe I'm into this.
Like, I'm eating this up with a fork and a knife.
But, like, in real life, he's probably fucking insufferable.
Where'd that hot picture go of him?
Yes, dude.
Damn, damn, he's got some, he's got a rack on him.
Going up to a man and saying nice rack.
Okay, let's go through the horny mom comments on this.
Someone commented and said, you know, I really have to stop fainting, but I can't help it.
What are you talking about?
Be the Edward Cullen to my Bella Swan.
Girl, I almost, like, I probably commented that.
you would make a good toy?
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
She has children and a husband and a butt plug.
What the fuck?
Where are you freaking love this is amazing, so beautiful and poignant.
You're truly one incredible God, king, Lord, sire, prince, man, vampire.
I don't know what to say.
I'm speechless.
You're so very special.
There was no one in any universe, in any world,
and any afterlife, as special and beautiful as you inside and out.
I'm obsessed with you.
There's no punctuation in this sentence.
Inside as you inside and out.
I, you so very much.
You have my heart.
I'm under your spell completely.
You can't be real.
You're too amazing.
I mean, every word I say with every fiber of my being,
my dear special vampire and friend,
Jack Deer, Bloody Daddy.
What's our third!
And she commented again!
With a bunch of hearts and flame emojis.
Oh my God.
And she commented again!
That was a lot.
That's literally me commenting under any man that I liked post.
You are so special and amazing.
With every fiber of my being.
That's literally me, dude.
She gets it.
Holy shit.
An absolutely stunning, murderous little creature.
Oh, he got a blowout!
Yeah!
Bitch he got a blowout!
He used the Dyson!
Oh, it's celebrating his girlfriend.
Love you girlfriend, but that should be me.
What would you do if your favorite vampire
came back from the dead?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Nah, man, it's fucking with you.
with you. Still very dead, but uh, it's been a year and I wanted to come by and say hey.
I'm sorry.
For a second.
I ruined my day.
The sexy picture of him to make up for it.
Oh my god.
Oh, that just, oh, that made me so fucking mad.
Oh my god, I'm livid.
Oh, there's nothing worse than when a, when a man that looks like that starts talking.
Don't ever fucking talk.
That was truly something awful.
That was like, we need to take a break.
We need to take a break.
We'll be right back.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.
These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds.
Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more.
Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it,
so your dollar goes a long way.
Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.
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Attention.
I need everyone's attention.
Please stop what you're doing and listen to me immediately.
I know you were before, but now listen again, but harder.
The video, if you are watching the video version of my podcast on YouTube,
cut out right here.
I don't know what happened if there was an electrozap.
in the wall connected to the cameras. I don't know, but the cameras just shut off.
And I, even when I was recording, I was like, hmm, that camera's light just flickered. I wonder what
that means. Anyway, let's keep going, because I'm an idiot, dude. I'm an idiot.
Anyway, if you're watching on YouTube, this is where the video cuts off. There is no more
video after this part, but in the next episode, it's full video. So this is a one-time thing.
I plugged it finally into, what's that called, to prevent electrosh shocks?
What's that thing called?
Circuit, circuit breaker.
Circuit.
Surge protector.
That's what it's fucking called, dude, a surge protector.
And guess what?
I didn't use one of those.
And it shows.
So, yeah, if you're watching the video, there's no more video.
But the rest of the podcast is fine if you want to go over to Spotify, Apple Podcast, whatever.
Or stick around.
If you're on YouTube, just stick around.
because we've included some fun photos for you to look at
for the rest of the video as a form of visual aid.
So enjoy this week's episode.
Sorry about that.
I'm an idiot.
It won't happen again, my loyal minions.
And enjoy the rest of the episode.
Okay, love you.
Bye-bye.
And we're back.
Thank you guys for hanging out during that brief intermission.
I had to collect my fucking composure
and collect my thoughts.
find my piece.
I lost my piece for a second.
He robbed my piece from me with that fucking video!
Okay.
So now, to touch back on Vampire Jack,
I found another great picture.
He looks great here.
I don't know, I don't know what the artistic choice is
behind the contact lenses,
because I've never met a vampire.
met a vampire that has context. Now, let's, okay, going back to the first part of that sentence,
have I ever met a vampire? No. Okay? But if I did, would he probably be wearing contacts? No.
Okay. What's the moral of the story here? The lesson that everyone should take home is that we need to
bring back pirate blouses for men. We need to bring back frilly, frilly and delicate clothing for men.
I'm talking crop tops.
I'm talking printed tank tops.
I'm talking pirate blouses.
I'm talking Empire waistline, empire neckline.
Maybe a nice cowl neck blouse for a man, one of these.
We need to bring back this, but for men.
A cowl neck top in vanilla?
Man, we need to really get into that, guys.
I need someone to be on that.
I want to see more male yawas this year than any Instagram model.
Okay?
I want to see man boobs.
I want to see man boobs on my feed.
Give me man nipple, man boob, man underboob, man ya ya.
That's what I'm asking for.
For Christmas, Mark Zuckerberg's.
Just send me some more of that.
I found Vampire Jack on my explore page, and I
I think my Explore page could, honest to God, have me sent off somewhere.
If someone ever got a hold of my iPhone and just opened Instagram,
I think that I could, there would be grounds there to send me away to get help somewhere.
I genuinely do think that.
I'm farting.
Actually, that could be poop, so I'm actually not going to let that one rip.
Because that's part of the thing about having IBS, like being a god warrior, being a tummy warrior,
is that you know when to hold them and when to fold them, okay?
When to let them rip and when to keep it in the, in the pit.
Keep it in the, when to, when to farty-hardy and when to hold in the poopy, okay?
I mean, you can put that on a t-shirt if you really wanted to.
I would just own the IP.
Why is he this way?
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses,
monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to
progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full,
owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you
need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.
Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.
You started your business with a great idea and a ton of hustle.
Let Gottprint.com help you look the part.
Grow your business by getting professional marketing that works.
Need business cards before a networking event?
High impact postcards for a promotion or sleek signs for your storefront?
We offer a huge selection, reliable quality, and low pricing.
Right now, get 20% off your first order with the code podcast.
So don't worry about printing.
Worry about growing your business.
Start today at gotprint.com and print with confidence.
The rest of the hall from at Vampire Freaks, and I am absolutely obsessed.
The vampire castle tea and the vampire long sleeve are just insanely comfortable and they look incredible.
Vampire freaks.
Oh, it's a whole clothing line about vampires.
Alternative clothes for the spookily inclined, my mom.
I love goth bitches.
Vampire Jack tortures me on a daily basis.
I want to love him.
I do.
He just, he drives me up the wall, dude.
I can't, I cannot figure out my feelings about Vampire Jack.
Then I will keep bringing him up until I figure it out.
So buckle up, Broski Nation.
We are at war with the Vampire Kingdom.
Oh my god, if there's any...
A-O-3 authors who follow me, please, please write that.
I know there are some A-O-3 bitches out there that, like, write novels on A-O-3.
Hey, myself included.
Okay, myself included.
You think I'm excluding myself from that?
No, I'm in that.
If anyone wants to write about the warring kingdoms of Bro Ski Nation and Vampire Jack's
Vampire Kingdom, then, look, you can do that.
And you can send it to me, and I will read it on this podcast.
Okay?
And it has to be an enemy's to lovers.
Okay?
It has to be an enemies of lovers.
It can't be too much of a slow burn because I don't go all day.
Okay?
I got about 48 minutes.
Which is enough.
Okay.
Yeah, I think that my Explore page could really have me sent off somewhere.
Let's actually, let's take a look at my Explorer page.
What the fuck?
Not Trisha Peda's on my Explore Pee.
What is Trisha Peda's up to?
Oh my God.
She is so fucking real.
I can't believe she's real.
Oh my God.
Okay.
I can't look at Trisha Bannis.
Okay, here's what I really wanted to, uh, we need to get into this.
Enough dilly dallying, folks.
I have been rewatching the golden age of Love Island.
Okay?
I've been rewatching Love Island and I,
I'm re-watching
season four, which is arguably the best season
because it is. Danny and Jack
come on, bitch.
Even though they broke up and now Danny has a kid
and Jack has a kid, not with each other.
I'm devastated by, but I'm absolutely got it.
Oh, I'm absolutely got it.
And Jack got fucking hot, dude.
If any of you guys don't watch Love Island
or didn't watch it, this was the season, like,
it was when I just graduated college.
It was like 28.
18, 2019. I think the winner was announced 2019.
First of all, look at him. Dude, that's Jack.
He was hot on Love Island, but he was like, yeah, dude, look at this.
That's crazy. I like him before. I liked him before.
Okay? Like, he was definitely cute on Love Island, but he does not look like that anymore.
Like he's cute there. Who is that? Who is that? Hold on. Let me find this one picture. I said,
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my good
Why did he edit it like that?
What is the deal with British people like this
Always being fucking sunburnt?
Like they're always just red
It's not even a tan
It's just like red
He's red in all of his photos
It's like, it's like,
a permanent redness. Look at it.
What's he red?
Those are some short shorts, brother damn!
I think it's just like when you're that white, dude, you don't tan.
Okay, you just, your skin just...
And then it peels off.
It's like bacon.
And I'm, what I talked about last time, where I don't even burn.
Okay, I just get moles.
Well, I do burn, that's a lie.
I burn, and then it peels, and then I get a mole.
And then I gotta go to the doctor.
Okay, so...
sun, white people in the sun were a match not meant to be. Okay? I, I am meant to be bundled in,
in a wolf pelt, okay? Vegan, a vegan wolf pelt somewhere in northern Scandinavia. And do I know
what Scandinavia means? No. Okay? And if you do, you're either lying or you have a superiority
Complex. If you tell me what countries are in Scandinavia. Is it even a country, like,
is it like, okay, you know when you say like, oh, New England, I bet so very few Americans
could be like, oh, here are the four to five states in New England. Okay? If I say, oh,
Scandinavia, what is that? Because it's not a country. Am I just an idiot? They're ramblings
of a fucking idiot. What is Scandinavia? It's a region in your country. It's a region in your country.
It's a region.
Scandinavia most commonly refers to Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, where they filmed Frozen.
Okay? Where Frozen was filmed?
Where was Frozen?
Filmed at Snow Basin Ski Resort in Utah.
Though the story takes place at a...
What?
I'm obsessed with this. Where was Disney's Frozen filmed?
It's an animated feature.
While the first Frozen film was based in Norway,
The second installment is inspired by Iceland.
Now see, that's not Scandinavia, you fucking bitches.
Did they use real wolves and frozen?
It's an animated movie!
The heights and the weather were not the only agonizing parts of production.
All the wolves are real, says Green, director Adam Green.
Critics assume that they must be CGI.
We had six weeks of training with a pack of wolves with the wolf man.
What are you talking about?
There were no wolves in Frozen.
Wolves in the movie Frozen.
These wolves are shown to be inhabitants of the forest
that is located outside of the capital village of Arendel.
They are seen stalking Anna, Christoph, and Sven.
Reindiers are better than people.
Oh my God, I love Frozen!
I actually watch it tonight.
Once Christoph notices them, the trio began rushing off
and the wolves chased after the group immediately.
These are based on real wolves?
Y'all didn't have to train with real wolves.
wolves to make those wolves? Like, are you being funny? Disney Wiki fandom. That's crazy. Why did
they train with real wolves? That seems very dangerous and very unnecessary. This episode is brought to you by
Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people
say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds, because Progressive
offers discounts for paying in full,
owning a home, and more.
Plus, you can count on their great customer service
to help you when you need it,
so your dollar goes a long way.
Visit progressive.com to see if you could save
on car insurance. Progressive casualty
insurance company and affiliates.
Potential savings will vary, not available
in all states or situations.
You started your business with a great idea
and a ton of hustle. Let gotprint.com
help you look the part. Grow your business
by getting professional marketing that works.
Need business.
before a networking event, high-impact postcards for a promotion, or sleek signs for your storefront?
We offer a huge selection, reliable quality, and low pricing.
Right now, get 20% off your first order with the code podcast.
So don't worry about printing.
Worry about growing your business.
Start today at gotprint.com and print with confidence.
Or at Target nationwide.
Reindeer's are better than people.
And you already know what I'm going to say.
You already know what I'm about to say.
Mustafa Frozen is the ideal man.
Wasn't he, who was he voiced by John Krasinski?
Jonathan Groff.
Who the fuck is Jonathan Groff?
Him? He put, oh wait, I knew that.
I knew that, I knew that, I knew that.
I did know that.
Oh my God.
He was in Hamilton?
Maybe I don't know who Jonathan Groff is.
Maybe I lied.
Hamilton is rated higher than Frozen.
Yeah, this website.
fucking sucks. It's IMDB. Yeah, this website's a fucking scam.
International movie database. Okay.
Wait, go back to Christoph.
Christoph, ew, do you want to know? I'm actually not going to reveal that about myself.
No, I will actually. In high school.
Oh, Jesus Christ. In high school, I used to read Christoph and Elsa fan.
I just like, I just really don't care.
anymore. I'll tell y'all whatever.
I'll just like, in so many podcasts and like interviews that I do, they're like,
how do you, how do you separate your online persona from who you really are?
And my answer is always, I don't. I have no delineation.
What I say on here is what I'm really fucking thinking. I don't have the brain power to come up
with a separate persona. Oh my God, I need to go. It's Christoph for Halloween.
Did I say Christoph and Elsa? I meant Christoph and Anna.
It's been so long.
Yeah, I used to read fanfiction, because it wasn't even fan fiction.
It was just like continuing.
What's that called?
Non- or canon, non-canon.
When you read, it's just like a continuation of the normal storyline, but it's that author's kind of interpretation.
I was 15.
I was just, I have got, look at that.
I have got to consume more of this content.
Now, what the fuck is that, girl?
Christoph in drag.
Christoph, uh, feminine, facial feminization surgery.
Christoph's new song and Frozen 2 challenges toxic masculinity, period.
And I do think Christoph would have been better if it was played by John Krasinski,
but that's just me and you can, you can absolutely crucify me for that.
Okay, but you're wrong.
You're wrong.
Any character would be improved.
It was played by John Krasinski.
Reindeer's are better than people.
Peep.
Reindeer's are.
better than people. What's the note? Come on guys. Come on.
Rindiers are better than people. People.
Reindiers are better than people. Why? Stop! I feel like that girl who's like,
and uh, stop! And I will always love you. Stop.
And I will always love you girl singing.
Racing in the...
That's literally me.
Rainsdeers are better than people.
Oh my god!
That's fucking...
She changed my life.
That changed my life.
Okay, I totally fucked it up. I just listened to it.
Okay, here it is.
Rainsdeers are better than people.
I can't sing that fucking low.
Rain...
Rain...
Rane...
are better than people.
YAH!
Oh, bitch, I nailed that.
Oh my god, I am Jacob Collier.
I am Jacob Collier.
Reindiers are better than people.
That was bad.
Start it again.
Rain deers are better than people.
Yeah!
Stupid.
Sewing!
Okay, Frozen Deluxe Edition.
How the fuck are their deluxe songs on a movie?
Who won't pray for me?
Frozen movie soundtrack.
Guys.
Frozen movie soundtrack.
Frozen movie soundtrack.
Here we go.
Oh my God.
I just got a full body chill down my spine
because of Olaf's song in summer.
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Flop is one of my favorite.
And I don't even, okay, I'm going to let the Disney adult come out.
Frozen is without question, one of the best animated movies of all time.
And Olaf is, therefore, one of the best animated characters of all time.
Olaf's character is what I want to be in my life.
He is so funny, and he was also a great friend to Anna and Elsa.
And I want to be a character like Olaf when I get my own Disney Pixar film because I'm speaking it into existence because it will happen.
I just got a call from Walt himself, confirming it, actually.
We're talking about it this weekend.
I want an Olaf type of character.
I imagine it kind of, it wouldn't be a snowman.
It would be almost like a very goofy animal.
I'm imagining maybe a chicken, maybe a hog of some sort.
Imagine like a Timon or a Pumba sort of moment.
Maybe a squawking bird or a little ratty animal.
That's what I'm imagining.
I would be, or kind of a very meaty, massy animal.
I imagine that's what I would be.
And for some reason, when I do voiceover auditions,
I always just kind of really lean very New Jersey.
Don't know why.
There'd be it.
Yeah, boss!
Doesn't I imagine?
Yeah, boss, get him.
I'm on it, boss.
That's what my animated character would be.
I don't know why he would be like a henchman.
I don't know what that's about.
Two, also two characters I really enjoy are, when was the last time y'all watched Hercules?
Remember Hercules?
Those two little, the little minions that Hades has, pain and panic.
These guys, they're so funny.
They were so funny.
The animation is so funny.
It's so like slapstick and they're always getting like ripped apart and burned and shoved and slapped.
He literally impaled the other one.
It's so stupid.
Oh my God, when they show up in the Hercules merch.
This movie is so good after we watch Hercules and Frozen tonight.
What was I talking about?
Damn it.
Oh, Oloff.
Olaf is just such a good character.
In summer, dude, if any of y'all have ever been to Disney World,
they have a Frozen ride and there's a whole Olaf.
There's a whole Olaf room.
Where he's doing, En summer, that whole part.
And I went on it with my friend, and I filmed it for a YouTube video,
which you can go watch on YouTube.com slash Britney underscore Brozky.
You can go watch that.
It's called, I got drunk in 11 countries.
We went on the frozen ride.
And when Olaf came, I started, I was drunk.
I started screaming like he was Ariana Grande.
Caught you do the drinking around the world if you've never been.
It's, Epcot's one of the parks where there's, um, countries.
Like, each, you walk around the Epcot Globe that's in the middle of the park and you walk through all these different countries.
And so you can have a drink in, uh, Norway and Mexico and Japan and whatever.
And so we did that and I was so fucking drunk by the time we got to, uh, uh, the Frozen ride, which was in the little Norway part,
that I got on that ride with a bunch of little, little children.
Little children just running around at my feet
and I was like bouncing up and down giddy to get on this fucking ride
We get on we enter the Olaf room and I scream like I'm like I just met
Ariana Grande like Ariana Grande just opened the tour and then
And the light shut off I screamed like that's what just happened
When in reality it was a little like animatronic of Olaf like this like in summer
and I said
That's what I did.
Okay?
And I'm sorry about me blowing out this fucking mic.
This poor, this poor microphone, I spit on it and lick and suck and gag and choke all over it.
I'm licking and suck in and kind of like, like gagging a little bit on it sometimes.
It's just like, sorry, sorry about that, guys.
What was I going to?
Oh, fuck me.
I didn't even get around to telling you my Love Island, my Love Island, uh, thing.
I've been rewatching Love Island and I think they need to make a Love Island for plus
and it would be called Love Island Plus with the little plus emoji.
Okay?
And maybe Ed Shearan would host it because his album was called Plus or edition or whatever
fuck it was.
Or maybe it was called Divide.
I don't know.
No, it was called Plus.
He has like Ed Shearon trademarked, like, mathematical signage.
Oh, it's called Divide.
Okay, never, hey, scrap that.
Scrap that idea.
That's stupid.
He got married?
Who the fuck is Cherry Seaborne?
He has children?
Ed Shearren has children?
Jupiter?
Two daughters?
When did Ed Sharon have fucking daughters, dude?
He got knighted?
When did Edson get knighted?
Edward Christopher Shearon, M-B-E.
He got fucking knighted.
Oh, that just made me itch.
No, I'm so smart.
He has an album called X equals and divide.
Born in Halifax, West Yorkshire and raised in Framlingham,
that's not a real fucking place.
British people are lying.
Born in Halifax, West Yorkshire, raised in Framlingham, Suffolk.
That's not a real place, by the way.
He began writing songs around the age of 11.
Yeah, me too, babe.
You're not special.
Ed Sheeran, you're not special.
I can do that, too.
Okay?
I just chose not to share them with the world because they're too good.
And early 2011, Shearin independently released the extended play number five collaborations project.
I was an Ed Sheariner for like 30 minutes because I loved One Direction.
And when I found out that Ed Shearin wrote, what's the song?
Little Lies.
If you can take a broken heart and my face.
like this and I would give you all that god
and we started all that song started all over over again
oh my god louis verse I have chills all over my body
thinking about that song I just kind of chilled on my body
over again Louis part
tell me of my spirit I give me an eternity
like the showers at our British
whether they went together or a poem
We were both removed the mosque.
We went granted from this tawny.
We were 10 your monkey heart.
It might fit like this.
This whole album is so good.
Take me home.
Holy shit.
Heart attack.
Over again.
Back for you?
Wait, what was that song?
I...
I want to save your...
Save your heart tonight.
No, no, no.
No, that's from the first album.
Nobody compares, truly madly, deeply.
Holy shit, this is the expanded edition.
This is a coveted item.
Night Changes has a billion streams.
I thought dragged me down had a billion streams.
God, Made in the AM so good.
Oh my God, I'm still such a directioner.
I'm gonna, okay, here is everyone's homework for tonight.
Last episode, I think your homework was to watch Akamoran and House of Musical 2.
You should have done that.
didn't. Hey, Brothky Nation police, you're going to come knocking at your door. It's a mandatory
viewing. Tonight's homework is you need to watch Frozen. You need to watch Hercules, and you need to
listen to take me home by One Direction from start to finish, back to front, front to back. Okay?
That is everyone's homework for today. What is right now? Damn, this, oh my God, I love One
Direction. What was it like, hold on, what was the T, did James Corden do?
tease that I like saw something about 1D coming back together for something and I literally
scrolled past it. I was like I can't verbally or like reading comprehensionally process that right
now, um, nor do I want to. Like it was just a lot for me, so I just scrolled. And I didn't
watch Harry and James Gordon either because I love him so much I fucking can. I can't do it.
Harry Stiles
Harry Stiles says
I feel
Harry Stiles says he'd never say never
to a one direction reunion
Harry Stiles joined James Corden
as a guest of the final episode of the Late Late
Show on Thursday
during the emotional farewell
the singer addressed the possibility of a one direction reunion
a comeback that was rumored
for Gordon's last episode but later dispelled
During the last spill your guts or eat your guts segment on Thursday,
Stiles reignited hope for a 1D reunion.
Yes or no, will there be a one-direction reunion?
Will it ever happen?
Said Stiles, reading the question.
I fear that it's not a yes or no question.
I think I would never say never to that.
If there was a time when we wanted to do it, I don't see why we wouldn't.
Oh my God.
That's a lot.
That's actually a lot for me to kind of like, yeah.
Yeah.
Stiles also talked about the Grammy Awards mishap during his performance when the turntable he and his dancers practice on malfunctioned and began to spin in the wrong direction.
The singer said that leading up to the performance, he had been stressed about both singing and the complex choreography, saying I hadn't even thought about the idea that it might go the wrong way.
Harry, that's show business, babe.
Harry, if you have questions about show business, you give me a call.
You give me a call right here on my Mickey Mouse phone.
Only a select few have this phone number.
Walt, Disney, Mark, Zuckerberg, Elon, Musk.
You know, only a few really know to reach me here.
I really, really caution them against it unless it's kind of an emergency because I am recording.
We're on air.
We're live.
But Harry, if you have questions, you know, I can always hit pause.
I can really dig in the arsenal of the archives.
if you will, of knowledge and of wisdom
and of advice that I can share with you
about how this industry really works.
So go ahead, give me a call on the Mickey Mouse landline.
And under here, I also have the nuke codes.
So if you need me to take care of anything,
you just let me know.
I've got a little red button under here.
Someone will come running in and, you know, it'll be a whole thing.
So you just let me know.
And, oh, wait, there's more to this article.
When we finished, oh, this is him talking about the,
the thing. When we finished, I was like, I'm so angry this happened. And then I thought the only
thing that's going to happen is I'm going to shout at someone and it'll still be the same.
Styles continued. And then they'll think I'm a dick. I love him. I love him. Harry said,
anger and violence gets us nowhere. So we can just talk it through and say, hey, why did that happen?
Let's make sure it doesn't happen again. And let's maybe prepare in the future for if this does happen
I love him so much. You will never, ever find a compilation of Harry Diva moments.
Let's look one up. Compilation of Harry being a sassy diva. Compilation of hair styles being
sassy, hair styles funny moments, hair styles being rude and roasting everyone. See, this is clickbait.
Hey, never catch me. Ain't nobody going to catch me.
A lot of stuff that we still want to achieve and want to...
Like what?
Oh, I'm finished, but...
See, this is like a joke video. Please don't take this video too seriously, she said.
See, this is all just like funny, funny compilations.
So I think like, I just love him.
I thought I had something insightful to say. I don't. I just love him a lot.
Guys, that'll kind of do it for this episode of the Brookesky, Brodsky Report.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
The Brookesky Report, starring me, your host, Bridie Brosky.
Okay?
Tune in next week
because there will be another episode.
Okay?
You bitches are praying on my downfall.
You hope there won't be another episode,
but guess what?
There will be.
Okay?
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Have a good week.
Okay, bye.
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