The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 70: I’m a Genetic Wuss

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski updates the nation on her health, describes her traumatic evening, shares her updated eating habits, and explains the importance of self-care. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany:https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.youtube.com/@royalcourt https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Brought To You By:Rocket Money - https://rocketmoney.com/broskireport Tinder - Download the App NowRegister To Vote:Headcount – https://headcount.org Rock The Vote – https://rockthevote.org Some helpful credible resources/links to help Free Palestine:Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-traumaDoctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/secure/give-monthly-double-your-impact-search-onetime-reverse-mobile?ms=ADD2301U3U49&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND.DWB_CKMSF-BRAND.DWB-GS-GS-ALL-DWBBrand.E-BO-ALL-RSA-RSARefresh.1-MONTHLY&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWZpQAMikxPIRiPMfAjYsJZ-eHiRQV2pw7tu2Jlo6YL8Gk_uaTSwH0MaAtFGEALw_wcWorld Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/IG ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW:@eye.on.palestine@aljazeeraenglish@palestinianyouthmovement@byplestia@motaz_azaiza@impact  CHAPTERS:00:00 - Intro00:20 - Health Update20:12 - Horror Story31:40 - Positive Internet Activity 34:03 - Snack Plates44:55 - Self-Care53:23 - RDJ on Broadway57:54 - Outro#brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #health, #pcos, #fire, #emergency, #snackplates, #selfcare, #tiktok, #broadway, #robertdowneyjr

Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brozky. Good morning, team. Good morning, team. Hey, I got a question. I got a question for the bad hoes out there. Where are the bad hos with peri-oral dermatitis this morning? Where are y'all? Let me see a show of hands.

Oh, no one? Welcome back to Weird Diagnoses with Brittany Broseky. this week. So since June, I would say, and let me just preface this with, I know you're not doctors, but you sure as hell like to act like it in the comments. So here's some feed for the doctor bait in the comments, okay?

And did I say like 10 episodes ago, stop diagnosing me? Yes. Do you still do it? Yes. So here's some feed. This is me with a metaphorical, like, Home Depot bucket full of anchovies or big fish

and I'm feeding them to the seals. You know how they do that in aquariums? Where they're like, this big fat heifer loves a fish. Come here! Come here! And then they put a whole fish in their mouth and then they, that's me to y'all. I'm the fucking zookeeper and you bitches are the seals.

Okay? Swamp, who wants the fish? here's my diagnoses, okay? Since June, and let me preface this also with, it's not herpes, okay? Because you bitch is going to be like, you've got mouth sores, that's going to be herpes. Shut the fuck up, it's not, okay? Because guess what I went to urgent care? Since June, all right?

Count them, one, two, three, four, five months, five months I've had this. And I thought it would go away, and it would get worse, then it would go away a little bit, then it wouldn't come back, and it would go away. I woke up about two days ago with this nasty, why am I talking about this? With this nasty, like, flaky thing under my bottom lip, okay? My lips are so dry, and I've been struggling with it for a long time of, like,

trying to put makeup over it and even, like, makeup artist I work with her, like, what's that on your fucking lip? And I'm like, no, I wouldn't worry about it. And then yesterday I woke up, I was like, I have to go to the doctor. Like, it got significantly worse. And now it's like, when you try to exfoliate away the flake, it hurts underneath. Like, it's a pain.

Like, almost picking a scab. And I was like, I don't do medical stuff well, okay? If something on me hurts or if I see someone else having some, like, I can't do body shit. I saw the substance, that fuck-ass movie. and while it was a thrill to watch in the movie theater, okay? I think it was such an absurd take on, you know, serious themes. I enjoyed the experience of the movie in the theater. That movie is body horror, and I cannot fucking, I'm actually going to be sick on a fucking flow.

I cannot deal with body horror. I don't know what, I could never be a doctor. You bitches are so brave. Doctors, firefighters, nurses, nurses. versus how do y'all do it? Because seriously, I look at my own lip in the mirror and I'm like, I can't do it. So I'm looking in the mirror and I'm like,

I have to go to the doctor. And so I drive my ass to urgent care and I sit there and I'm like, something's growing on my lip and it's not herpes. But it could be, okay? Never, don't rule things out. And so she looks at it. She comes over, she's got a mask on and gloves on.

She's getting all up in my lips. she goes, you ever heard of peri-oral dermatitis? I'm like, no, Shannon. I haven't heard of peri-oral dermatitis. Oh, why didn't you just say it was peri-oral dermatitis? Okay, well, now I know exactly what that means. Thanks, Doc. What, am I a baby?

Is that like hand-mouth disease? I've just been in the crib sucking on my toes. Like a baby. She's like, oh, you've got whooping cough, smallpox, and hand-mouthed. fever. Okay. So just do I reel it back on the pacifier three or four times a day or what do I do there? She was like, perioral dermatitis. I'm going to give you an ointment. If I had, what's that Dr. Dufantzschmerts thing? If I had a nickel for every time a doctor has given me an ointment,

I'd have roughly like a handful of nickels, truly. Like not an over, okay, I'm not like some gross weirdo, but like I'm no stranger to anointment. I am no fucking stranger to having to smear an ointment on some part of my pale body, on my fucking night walker, like, who's the big tall skinny guy who's kind of hot? Sender man, my slender man ass body. Every time I'm like with friends who are inclined to do sun-forward activities, i.e. hiking, i.e. go to the beach. I.e. sit outside.

Okay? I have to sit them down and be like, you're dealing with a real one here. Okay? I can't go outside for extended periods of time. I will quite literally evaporate. Like, I am a creature of the night. I am a creature of the moonlight, okay?

La Luna. Look at the skies they have stars. in their eyes of this lovely bail of no te. That's me, okay? Look at the, the moon is as big as a pizza pie because I cannot fucking go into the sun. So, I mean, I'm very freckly, very moldy. Here's what else is wrong with me.

Balding, PCOS, leg hair, okay? Chin hair, even. So I'm at the doctor and I'm like, get this shit off my face because I've been dealing with it for five months. It's been going on for way longer than it should have. And now it hurts. Like, it feels a lot worse than it looks.

You hope to God you cannot see it on the monitor. Because it hurts. It really freaking hurts. And of course, she was like, just between you and me, I got this ointment for you. And I know a guy. And I was like, who's the guy?

And she said, CVS. And I said, yeah, me and CVS. go way back. Me, look, me CVS, that's my fucking family. CVS, wait, do Walgreens,

don't do Walgreens. CVS, that's my fucking family. Which is the one that's more expensive? Is CVS more expensive than Walgreens? CVS is typically less expensive than Walgreens. Bitch, this is what, I'm a CVS girl. I'm a farm, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a Farminator. I'm a CVS Farminator

But also not Because the last time I went to fucking CVS To get like over the countermedicine I needed allergy meds That shit, where was I? New York That shit was like $45 Have you lost your mind? Me like

Here's my government Amazon credit To pay for my Jeff Bezos allergy pill Oh my God $45 for Claritin I just need an answer anti-histamine. It doesn't need to be name brand. I don't need to see the label on it. It doesn't even have to have a flower on the damn package. Just give me an anti-histamine. Because my body's riddled with histamines. Histamine here, histamine there. Remove it. Take it away. Lord, exercise these demons.

I need an antihistamine. Antihistamine. God is good. God is good. He will lead me out and through the histamine fever. Truly, the last time I would CVS to get medicine over the I was floored by the price. A fucking Benadryl. It's all the same stuff. Like a 24-hour allergy pill versus like, and did Stanley tell me one time that Benadryl's gonna kill me?

Yeah. And do I take Benadryl every allergy season? Yeah. Because it's one of the only allergy pills that works, whatever. Doc gave me this ointment. To add it to the, I literally have a drawer of all my ointments because I have chronic things that come back.

They just flare up. I don't know why. There was a time in college. Sorry, this episode's gross. I just am frustrated. Because I take good care of myself. You know what I mean? Like, I try my hardest to put my best foot forward, health-wise, haven't always.

But this year has really been the year of like, I'm tired of feeling bad. And it takes a concerted effort to, like, not feel bad all the time. So taking control of the PCOS. and taking control of my skin shit has been the two priorities of this year. And then this shit flares up out of nowhere. Okay? And so I've got this drawer full of ointments.

I feel like the bouncing boil from, what was that, Jimmy Neutron? The bouncing boil. No, or was that, who had the bunions? Bouncing boil. Fairly odd parents. Yeah, bro, that's me. God, this is such a mean.

is such a mean character. The Bouncing Boyle! Look what they did to him. They made his fucking typography pimple. Okay, and for the Bouncing Boil, let's give him a fucked up name. Elmer. Nice, I like Elmer. And now let's give him his own font and his own intro sequence.

The typography you might ask? Thank you for asking. It's going to have zits on it. It's going to have boils. It's going to be swollen and red. That shit is so mean That's me though That is so so me

Me vibes Okay, my face win Anyway dude I am the bouncing boy old today I woke up this morning Oh my God Let me tell you about the fucking nightmare of a night I had last night

Anyway, I don't really even know What the name of the medicine She prescribed me is it's an ointment I gotta pick it up later today Okay, God be good God is merciful And his ointment bounty Um, yeah, it starts with a T.

It's like Tirlopacus, Termodocusus or something like that, and I got to smear it on my face for 14 days, twice a day, or until symptoms subside. I'm pissed off, dude. There's nothing that makes me angrier than a doctor being like, there is yet another issue with your skin. Hey, why? One day, you know those shows like, man versus what? extreme naked edition.

I would be dead within four hours. Separate me from my ointments and my collagen powder and my coffee in the morning. I'm dying, I'm dead on site, dude. That is just simply a fact. Man versus wild fucking antelope eater edition with only a stick as a weapon. He can only eat berries in the dung of small forest creatures.

small forest creatures. Will he survive? And he survives for like three months. Until he has to get helicopter evacked, heli-evacked out, because he like ingested a sea urchin spike or something like that. It's always the most crazy shit that happens to these people where it's like, well, yeah, of course you need to be heli-backed out of there.

But for me, I would be like, I got a sunburn. It's peeling really fucking bad. I got a sunburn. It's feeling really fucking bad. And I just need like a cooling agent. I need like a cooling gel. And I need to lay on like a tympanic metris.

And also I forgot to bring my silk pillow case because now my hair is going to be fucked out. What the fuck? Meanwhile, my lip is hanging off. It's flaking off. Like genuinely, what the fuck causes that? Oh, I was going to say, I have so many ointments for things that like I've had one time, One time on my hands, right after college, I had something called acute dyshydratic eczema. It was this awful.

I was about to look up pictures. I'm not going to do that deal. That's the shit my Mimi would do. She'd be like, look at this rare disease. Now, come out, I want to show you a picture of it. And I would be like nine. And I'd be like, what? She showed me a picture.

And I'd be like, what the fuck, Mimi? Anyway, acute dyshydratic eczema. It was on my hands only, literally. Stopped at my fingers. That's a lie. Stopped at my wrist, because it was kind of right here as well. And it spread in between your fingers.

That's how it fucking spreads. Okay, so it starts on one finger and then slowly spreads to all of them. I was working a desk job. Okay? I worked at a bank where I had to shake people's hands and I had to take people's money and I had to imagine me with 10 bandages on my fingers

like a fucking burn victim. Like, yes, let me just take, thank you so much. Let me just, I felt like lobster boy from American Horror Story. I thank you for your money. Okay, let me just get that for you in a second. Are you stupid? I had to go to the doctor and I was like, What is this?

I'm a monster! And she goes, like literally looked at it, touched my hand for like four seconds and was like, that's acute dyshydrodotic eczema. And I said, what did you just call me? That's mean. She said, yeah, that's acute, dishydraulic. Dishydraulic means, I think, and don't quote me on this, and you know I'm going to Google it. You know I'm about to Google it.

It flared up after I was in water for a prolonged period of time. My friends from college always used to call me a puss, because they were like, we can't, you can't do anything. Like, you are such a puss. And I'm like, it's not, it's not intentional. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not being high maintenance on purpose. My body does not acclimate to nature. well. I was a creature bred in captivity. I represent the worst of human evolution. Okay.

Oh, if the fucking air conditioner isn't it 68, I'm going to have a panic attack. If I'm in water for a prolonged period of time, bubbles start to form under my skin. Like, genuinely, I had too many fried foods and now I don't have my period for eight months. Like, it really is that simple. The smallest thing can knock me off course, and I'm just, I am a health nightmare. Urgent care hates to see a bitch like me coming. Well, let's see. And I'll start about eight months ago.

I know those big chunks of hair falling out in the shower, and I, well, I got these bubbles on my hands, and it only flares up when I go swimming in a public pool. Let me think about something else. I've got some sort of fungal acne going around on my stomach. It started my belly button. I don't know. It was like oozing something. Then, I don't know, I got this big rash on my inner thigh,

and it hurts more when I walk. So I'm trying not to walk so much these days. And then, yeah, something's growing on the back of my heel. It's kind of brown, brown and blue veins. So, I don't know, what are you thinking, like an ointment or a pill? Like truly, I don't know. Is it just America making me sick? Like, is this something where I go to Europe for two weeks and all of it goes away?

Or is it just, like, am I poisoning myself through the... What's that fucking copy pasta? They feed us poison, so we buy their cures while they suppress our medicine. Like, Loki, yeah. Like, Loki, yeah. And then someone made a funny one that said, they feed us poisson, so we buy their poisson. And it's a fish fillet.

Actually, maybe I don't understand. It's a fish flay for McDonald's because poissons means fish and French. So we buy their poisson. And this looks like a pill that's shaped like a fish. I'm really not sure. Anyway, this is, every time I have to go to urgent care, this is how I feel. I'm like, something made my skin flare up or my stomach or my scalp or my lip. or anything like that.

Like, it's always the most sensitive parts of the human body where I'm like, yeah, that's got an irritated, big swollen red rash on it. You know what? I think I'm done talking about my body. And that concludes our 17-minute segment on me bitching about my body. Anyway, I'll pick it up my ointment tonight, so I'll let y'all know how that goes. Let me tell you what happened to me last night, okay? I was awoken around 4 a.m.

by a thick and chemical smell of smoke in my home. And I wake up and I go, this is how it happens. This is how I fucking die. I die alone and in my home and for a stupid reason. What, smoke? And so I'm around my house desperately like, is it an electrical fire? I'm like, trying to, I'm like, if I was my dad, what would I do? Is it an electrical fire?

No. Is it a gas fire? No. Is it, is something just on fire? Did something catch on fire? Did I forget to blow out a candle? Did I something? I go all around the house and I smell around the doors, okay, that lead to the outside. And I smell it so strong. And so I go out front and I go stand in my front yard and it smells so strong. And it's not even like, oh, it's a campfire. It was like a chemical natural gas. gas fire. And I'm like, is it a house on the street? So I go out into the street. It's 4.30 a.m. I'm panicking. Okay. It's cold outside. I'm looking up and down the street. And I'm like, is no one else awake? Just no one else care? And like no one's outside. I don't see any smoke. Like actually, it's a little hazy outside and I don't see a fire. And so I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm freaking out because I'm like, I can't sleep. Like something clearly is going on. It feels

wrong to just go back to bed. And so I go on Citizen and on the next door app because I am a white suburban mother. And I'm like, um, thick bellows of smoke in my home. No chemical fire. What's going on? And on, you know, on those apps, it's like, it'll show you the neighborhood that you're in and like, people will be like, I'm on this intersection or I live by this building. I smell it here too. It was all over my area. Come to find out. Okay, I'm on Citizen, I'm on next door. Um, as the hour goes on, it's about 5 a.m. now, probably about 30 people are in this thread on next door that are like, I smell it too. Like, I'm at this intersection. Um, I did the same thing. I checked my home. Then I went out in the street and it's super strong out on the street. Uh, earlier today,

there was some fire at some prop house, and it was about 12 hours before I smelled this smoke. And I'm like, if this is carryover from that, then we should have seen it, first of all. Like, I should have seen gray smoke because gray smoke means it's actively burning. White smoke means they put it out, right? And it wouldn't have taken 12 hours to travel that far.

And so I'm like, that can't be it. someone else is like, there's a homeless person doing a trash fire. No, it wouldn't be that intense of a smell. I call 911. And I only called 911 maybe twice in my life. One was in traffic when there was a car, it was like a six-lane highway in Texas. And on the third lane, I mean, dead center of the highway, a car was parked. And it was smoking.

And I was like, hello, someone's going to fucking rear in this car. and then there's going to be a 100 car pile up. And so I swerved out of the way because it was at nighttime too. This car's lights were not on. And I called 911 and I said, I'm at this exit. I just passed this exit.

There is a stalled car with no one in it in the middle of the fucking highway. And I don't know if it's a bomb. I don't know what's going on. And they were like, think we're on it. That was one of the only times I've called 911. This time, it always was like

I got a rush of adrenaline because I'm like, this is a, you call 911. one, so I was going down. And I was worried because I live alone and it helped that, you know, there are different apps that are like, I smell it too. It's, it's, I'm getting a sense of it's over this larger area of like three different neighborhoods that this smoke smell is reaching. And I'm like, that is not good. And then on top of that, the health concerns. I'm like, what am I breathing in? So I turn on all the fans in my house to try to, try to like aerate it. And then I call it,

call 911 and it's immediate and I'm like wow because the only other time I've called 911 in LA they had me on hold for seven minutes seven minutes and it was an immediate pickup because it was 5 a.m. 911 which emergency I said there is a thick smell of chemical smoke in this neighborhood. I'm at this intersection. I've checked with some neighbors. They smell it too. It's as far as this neighborhood. I just wanted to report it because it feels like this is a product of something larger. I don't know if someone's called it in. And they were like, okay, we'll get you over to the fire department. And I was like, yeah, okay? So they transfer me and they get me to the fire department and they're LA fire department. What's going on? And I said, there is a thick smell. And I went outside and it's hazy,

like of chemical smoke. And he goes, there was a natural gas leak reported about eight hours ago around your neighborhood. Now I was like, what? This doesn't smell like that. Like if you've ever smelled natural gas. It doesn't smell like that. That's a scary smell as well, but this smelled like a plastic fire. A piece of plastic was on fire. And like your first thought is, oh my God, my home is burning. As of about 15 minutes ago, across the freeway, there is a big blaze. Something happened across the freeway and like fire trucks are dispatched right now. So that's probably the source of your concern. And I was like, okay. I was like, you're, look, dude, it's not about me.

Like, it's about the neighborhood and about if something's happening. Let's put it out. Because we're smelling it as far, like, across the freeway? That's crazy. And he was like, yeah, we're on it. And I said, okay, I just wanted to call and let you know. And he's like, okay, thank you. But at this point, it's like 5.20 a.m.

This is literally four hours ago. It's like 9.30 right now. I don't really know what else to do other. than turn on, you know, my little air purifier and try to go to bed because I have shit to do today. And I woke up this morning and I haven't been outside, but the house smells fine. There's no smoke in the air. It's a bright, beautiful sunny day. So like, what the fuck? And then it gave me this sort of, sorry to get serious for a second, it gave me this sort of existential smallness, which is something I've been toying with a lot lately because of this book

I'm reading as well of like how truly powerless I am and how I think in a lot of ways as a woman. You know, my dad tried to raise me to be as self-sufficient as I can be. And he did a great job. But there are certain things that I just feel like if I would have been the eldest boy for all my succession people out there. Because I'm the oldest child by six years. and if I would have been the eldest boy, I think that some more skills would have been instilled in me. And I don't, I'm not blaming my dad.

I'm not blaming anyone because he taught me, you know, I know how to use a drill. I know how to like use an anchor. I know how to change a tire. I know things like that. But there are certain things like that where I feel so small and powerless and like, someone fix it.

Like something like a chemical fire? I mean, I know there's nothing I could have done. especially if it was affecting the larger neighborhood, but it gave me this anxiety of like, I truly am reliant on my local government to fix things for me. Something like that, I mean, that is the local government. If they're inept, if they're understaffed, if they're, you know, underfunded,

who suffers? The little guy, you know, the small families and the children of, like, like breathing in that fucking chemical smoke. I'm, it just gave me this feeling of like, I've never felt that before. And maybe this is a very, I don't even know what I'm getting at. I just felt like,

I feel so powerful in a lot of other areas of my life. Like, I can do this. I know how to do this. Or if I don't, I'll figure it out. Where it's something small and contained, like in the home. Or if I need to kill a spider. Or if I whatever,

I can put on my big girl panties and I can do that. If I had a pop tire, knock on wood, I could watch a video, figure it out on my own. You know what I mean? Like, I have a spare tire in my car, tools. Like, I could figure it out for the most part. Or if not, you know, you call USAA, you get it done. Something like this was just so, it made me feel so small and human. And when I woke up, I was like, my initial thought wasn't, am I okay? It was like, is the neighborhood. You know what I mean? Because I had been checking with people. in my neighborhood on these apps early in the morning, and I felt very connected to them.

And then I also had this, because you know, these thoughts come in like, boom, boom, boom, rapid fire. I was like, I really am not familiar with my neighbors. And I think that started during COVID when I moved to L.A. in like December of 2019, and then COVID hit literally two, three months later. It wasn't really acceptable to go around your neighbor's doors and be like, hi, how are you? breathing your hot air in their face during COVID. And then just since then, I've never really made it a priority to get to know the people who live around me.

And there's such a, again, this is my American isolationist, American self-centeredism coming out where I just never found it important to connect with my neighbors or like meet them or figure out what they do or where they're from or, you know, if I ever needed anything. neighbors are supposed to be that. It's not supposed to be this standoffish, like don't talk to me. What are you doing on my lawn sort of thing? I know at least in my neighborhood, there's some people who work for Disney, because my landlord told me this. Some people who work for Disney, some families who have owned property in this neighborhood since like the 30s.

Like there's some really cool stories. And I claim to be this fucking humanist, you know, that values the power of the human story. And I just, it's never been a priority of mine. But last night just gave me this fright of if something were to happen to me in my home, I don't know who would find me, truly. I don't know who would find me. And I don't have the infrastructure of a network of a community for if something scary like that happened. Or if my house was on fire, like somewhere I could go.

I would just stand out in the street and cry. You know what I mean? Like I couldn't. Anyway, I don't know. Do you all talk to your neighbors in an apartment building, in a condo? I don't know. Do you know what I'm asking? Anyway.

So that was my night last night. Everything's fine, I feel like. Looks fine. I haven't checked the news, but here is something I want to talk about that has been deeply affecting my life in the vein of, you know, I'm trying to do better by myself, okay? there is a girl on TikTok named Alyssa and she makes those snack plates. Okay, I don't know if you've seen her.

I'll put a picture of her up here. She makes these beautiful, well-balanced snack plates that have quite honestly, like I'm being very genuine, rewired my brain in terms of how to feed myself. And I mean that very genuinely. And this is, leading back to this path of, you know, the internet can either intensely harm you or intensely help you. And when I get messages that seem so cliche and so corny sometimes, it's like,

your videos help me. Shut the fuck up. How? How could these videos help you? Truly. Like, I struggle to understand that sometimes. And then I read the comments. And without feeling self-important, of course I see the value in what is funny, silly video online can do for someone who's struggling or going through a hard time. And I, of course, have my comfort creators. But I think that culture is changing for me a little bit where I don't really have comfort people anymore. I have comfort topics or I have comfort activities. I'm trying not to base my happiness and my life around the postings of people. or the continuity of being fed every week by something. Like, I try to satiate those feelings by multiple different things. Lately, it's been documentaries on YouTube, and it's also been coloring.

I'm back into coloring. I was doing air clay for a minute, okay? Got bored of air clay. Now I'm coloring because I got these. Joey and Fabric sent me some of these paint pens. Yeah, I'm into that. Okay, so I'm doing coloring now. So I've been trying to do that.

But what I'm saying is I understand the impact of just someone filming themselves, filming their lives, and finding meaning and help. And almost advice counsel from that. So this woman, Alyssa, she just shares her snack plates. She makes these really beautiful snack plates that are full of fresh ingredients. There's really no other way to say it. So she'll make a plate that will have something fun like a chicken salad or a sweet potato salad or a bean salad, which feels very like 90s chicken salad chick sex in the city type of food. But, oh, I just had this like visceral flash of a mom with a Tuscan Italian kitchen, the old bath and body works since, a distressed like coach or diesel fossil purse. You know what I mean?

Really thin brows, brown lipstick, that sort of thing. They love a bean salad. And so she'll do something like that with a raw carrot, a raw radish, some pickles, some berries, a fun dip, like a tahini dip or something like a hummus. And then she'll do some form of protein. sometimes she'll do like a Reese's peanut butter cup or something like that but just one and the way that she assembles these place it's full it's full of food like it's it's piled up on the plate but it's all small helpings of each individual thing and it's colorful and it's fun and she incorporates you know protein vegetables fruit and then she'll have uh something fun too like four or five buffalo

potato chips. And I watch her assemble these and I'm like, she is fueling her body with raw natural ingredients, which feels so you know. Oh, you ate a carrot.

But for someone like me, monumental. If I eat a raw carrot, you just better watch out because I'm taking care of myself. And so watching her do this while also having fun with it, where she'll make her own chicken salad. or her own bean salad, which is just butter beans, which are delicious, which is a great source of protein, pepper, peppuccinis, like banana peppers, some cut up pickled red peppers, some vinegar,

and then some olive oil and some salt. She'll mix it all up. Delicious. It is fucking yum. Okay, so just a little helping of that. I made the other day, because I've been doing this all week. It's Monday, and I've been doing it for like three days. I just got a bunch of ingredients from the store that I can eat and that I like.

Because here's the thing. I'm not going to force myself to eat something that I know that I don't like. Sometimes she'll do a hard-boiled egg, cut it in half, do flakey salt on it. I don't like hard-boiled eggs. Sometimes she'll do cottage cheese. I fucking hate cottage cheese. Like I'm not going to do things. Remember that girl who made that plate that was like chicken apple sausage with mustard?

All that shit. Half this stuff on that plate I didn't like. And so I made it and I was, oh, shocker, I didn't like it. I was like, what are some foods I know that I like? And so I made it. And it was like this beautiful scene from Ratatouille where I came home and I had all of these fresh, colorful ingredients as fresh as you can get it in America. I'm shopping at Ralph's.

You know what I mean? Like, this is Kroger. You're paying like the price that they charge, the upcharge for something. organic. I've talked about this before. It is mind-boggling. Something organic, something fresh, something grown out of the ground should be the most, like, a cheapest item in the grocery store. And the overly processed red 40 food should be expensive. And it's the other way around. And that's not revolutionary to say that. It's not, you know, I'm not revealing any new information. It's just doing something like this really focuses your attention on that of this shit is so expensive.

It is so much money to eat well. And even then, you're not eating well. Because when I open my container of strawberries, they're all the same exact size and they're all the same color and they're all the same. And I'm like, that's not natural. I wonder where those stores, you know, they make those stores that are like all the reject fruits and vegetables that are ugly. They're perfectly good for you and there's nothing wrong with them.

But they're ugly. And so they don't get sold or they get picked over. Where are those places? What are those called? I also need to start going, there's a farmer's market. I live over by a farmer's market. I need to start going there. That would be so fun. I get to pick out all that shit.

And I get to support my local community. I really don't go as much as I should because I Instacart. Whip, weep. Okay, sue me. I instacart. Anyway, so here's what I did. I had so much fun. I assembled my little snack plate with stuff I like.

So I got chicken salad. And it's the chicken salad with like celery and onions. and some grapes in it. That's my favorite. I got that. I made a spicy tuna. So I got tuna and I put go to chujong and the Korean mayonnaise in it.

That was one. Okay, high in protein. I made bean salad, which is that thing that she made that I just gave me the recipe for. And then I made this cucumber salad, which was delicious. Okay, y'all listen to me, write this down.

Thinly sliced cucumbers. I used plant-based, sour cream and plant-based cream cheese because mama can't handle milk. Then I put in lemon pepper, onion salt, a little bit of just normal flaky salt, and then dill, fresh dill. And you mix that up and it makes this creamy cucumber salad. I actually found it to put under this air fry or chicken. I didn't even do that.

I just ate it on its own because it was so good. I tasted like a pickle, but more fresh and like creamy. I can't even describe it. And so those are all my salads, quote unquote. Okay, so that's on this side. And then on the plate, I'll do a singular radish because radishes are like this big. Radishes taste like nothing. They taste like water and they're just crunchy and they're good.

Okay? And I used to do water chestnuts, but then I kind of got grossed out by the texture. So now I do radish. I'll do a couple baby carrots. And I mean like three, three baby carrots. I'll do three strawberries. I'll do a couple blueberries, a sweet potato. This has been my thing lately too.

It's just cooking a sweet potato in the microwave and then cutting it open, cutting it to like bite-sized chunks, and then sprinkle a little bit of brown sugar on it and a little bit of salt. That shit, I... And then I'll do just lettuce, like those leaves of lettuce, like romaine hearts.

I'll take two off and then I'll rip them in half, so it's like four pieces of... little tiny lettuce. And then I'll put my chicken salad in that, like a little chicken salad wrap, because my doctor told me to eat more lettuce. Okay. Okay. My dumb ass when I'm eating lettuce. Okay. So that's my plate. And so I'll do literally just like a spoonful of each one. And by the time you're done, it is a full plate of food. And I'll pick on it, you know, because it's all cold. You don't have to heat it up. I am so full. Like, that's my lunch. And I'm like, this. says, I have never, I'm like smiling.

I've never looked at food that way. It's fun. And I'm, I've always struggled with portion control and how best to feed myself and like door dashing or even like Instagram and groceries. It's like, okay, and then you cook the chicken and then you cook the mashed potatoes and you cut green beans. And that's a balanced meal. Also, no, it's not.

Mashed potatoes. Okay. And then you put the butter and then you put the salt and you put a little bit. of potato. Like, it's just sort of rewired how I think about fueling my body. And it was amazing when the first day I did this, I didn't take a nap that day. I have to take a nap every single day. And I know that's a symptom of the PCOS too that me and my doctor are still trying to get through because I'm like, I'm doing everything I should. I've completely cut out gluten, completely cut out dairy because those two things my body just cannot handle. And I had no idea. Like,

I truly had no idea. And she was like, you're eating foods. that you cannot handle. And I was like, okay, show, you're calling me a push. You're calling me a pussy bro. I'm not a pussy bro. I can handle bread. I can eat bread. And she was like, your body just can't do it.

And it fucks with your hormones. I can't eat avocado, banana, coconut, because they all fuck with my hormones. They all spike my testosterone and I grow a penis. Okay, bread makes me grow a penis. Milk makes me grow penis. cheese, penis. Like, truly, it's so annoying.

And so when I go in for my hormone panels and she's like, you've been eating dairy, haven't you? I'm like, no. Yes. Because when you're out with friends, I'm not going to be like, oh, the pussy meal for me, please. I'm just going to eat what everyone else is eating.

But recently, I went home to my grandparents' house in Texas and I told them all my dietary restrictions. And my Mimi made me this beautiful meal. My Mimi and my mom that was, like Hawaiian chicken terriaki with pineapple, which I can eat, sweet potato, and cabbage. And did cabbage give me gas? Yeah, but it was delicious. And like, that was a nice meal.

And I could eat it and they made it for me. And I was like, that's really nice. So it is possible to have the, you know, meat, two sides that isn't just chicken, rice, broccoli. Because I would put a bullet in my skull faster than you would ever believe if that was my meal for the rest of my life. Oh, chicken rice. Chicken rice cauliflower, chicken rice broccoli, chicken rice broccoli, chicken rice, I'm not doing it.

Also, I can't have rice. So, this snack plate, Alyssa, thank you. I am your number one fan. Thank you so much. She puts these, also her videos are so aesthetic. She'll do grocery halls. She's like, I got this natural butter, and I've been loving this snap peas lately.

I can't get enough of red pears. I'm like, I love her. And she's so cool. She, like, bleaches her. eyebrows and she's so, she'll put like classical music in the background. I love her. I'm addicted to her because one thing I love about a recipe video or a food snack plate assembly video, an aesthetic music in the background. Neo It Girl does it too when she does her get ready with me. She does classical music in the background. I love classical music. I'm entering this new

era of my life that's, I'm calling it. I care about myself. And honestly, guys, It's great. It's really working out for me. You guys should try it. You might love it. I'm doing my ointments. I'm eating carrots. Okay? I'm going on walks. That's a lie. I go on walks sometimes. It is truly, I know that the internet, okay, I'm about to rant. I'm about to rant. I'm about to rant. Lock in. I just watched myself on the monitor do that and it pissed me off. I just watched myself do that. and I'm mad. I'm fucking mad. Why did I do that?

Like that actually just pissed me off. I'm mad. The internet has bastardized self-care culture amongst so many other things. Mental health culture. You don't owe anyone anything. All of these things are taking us out of our human instinct and derailing us off this path

that is our natural instinct to seek and build a community. The internet is not a community. There can be fellowship that can be derived or taken from certain parts of the internet, both positive and very harmful and scary. And by that, I mean the spectrum of, you know, One Direction and K-pop stands and that sort of community all the way to sort of like a Q-Anon. The range is very wide. and all we want as humans is to find community and to seek like-minded beings

who will validate our feelings and we can find connection with. We just want connection at the end of the day and we will do anything to get it, even if we know it's wrong. Knowing this and knowing that TikTok, as isolating as TikTok can feel, a lot of people find community on TikTok.

I've built a community online that I'm so fortunate y'all are a part of. You know, that this is as intangible as it seems, it is a community. And through shared interests, through, I'm lucky enough that y'all have an affinity for me, you know, that is a community. And TikTok has bastardized, I think, in a lot of ways,

what self-care really looks like. But I'm finding this side of TikTok that is, it's individual women sharing how they take care of themselves. And it's not in this sort of way that's, here are the top five things that you need to do that are small, quiet luxury to take care. I don't want that. I want like the girl who made that video

that was about the Apparel Spritz playlist, changed my life. Or she was like, I've struggled with this. I've struggled with that. And a true way that I found to unwind and relax, and treat myself is listening to this playlist when I shower, when I cook, when I whatever, and it's just Bossa Nova. It's just Bossa Nova. It's like Italian countryside, Lake Como music. And that is a small thing where I feel like she gained nothing from sharing that with us

and we gain everything. You know, like, I, that playlist changed my life. Alisa making her snack plates, that's a small thing to be like, I'm just going to kind of vlog what I'm doing today or just share what I'm eating. That shit changed my life. Where it feels so, it's the butterfly effect of it feels so small, but it has revolutionized the way that I view food. And it kind of is going to make me emotional because I've struggled with feeding myself for a long time. from like a binge eating disorder to not anorexia, but like I think part of a binge eating disorder is gorgeing and then restricting. It's almost punishing yourself with no food and then punishing yourself with a lot of food

because you think that you're fat and you deserve this and no one's going to ever. It's just this spiral of like self-hatred. And to come from that, the scary year I've had with PCOS stuff, to realizing how actually important, which seems so stupid and reductive, but like it is so important what fuel you put in your body and I was not fueling my body. It's a fucking miracle that I've made it this far with how I've been treating my body. And like, it's people like those women that show me, first of all, I just love being a girl. I love being a girl because those things are so simple. But like it really is so impactful

and it's so gentle. I think that's what makes me really. It's so gentle. And in a world that's so harsh, I don't know why that's made me so emotional. You know, something as gentle as feeding yourself things from the earth when, like, historically, I've just never done that.

And, like, it feels stupid to cry over that, and I don't, like, I don't mean to, but it's kind of cathartic in a way. I don't think I've realized how neglectful I've been to myself and how it feels good and I feel proud of myself or taking care of myself because it's not easy like it's really not easy especially when everything is geared to take your attention away from yourself everything online every app every suggested post every algorithm is intended to steal your time and steal your attention, which is a form of

currency away from yourself so that you cannot give it to yourself. And then it pumps you full of these ideologies of you don't owe anyone anything, which is so not true. Like you owe people kindness and empathy. And like these people on TikTok who are preaching this dangerous rhetoric. It's stuff like, and it feels so simple, and maybe that's me, you know, viewing the world with rose-colored glasses of, it can be so much sweeter. Those two things, amongst other things, you know, of like how to actually have a healthy soul-feeding nighttime routine, because I'm not a creature of routine. I can't be, you know, with this job, it's so exciting and new things are happening every day, but I can't have a routine because I'm home for four days and then I'm gone

for two weeks. It's impossible to be like, every morning I wake up and I have me raddish and I can't do that. For the longest time, because protein is a big thing for me, I struggle to get my protein in and protein is what fuels you through the day. My doctor says I need more from 60 to 120 grams of protein. In the past, I'm lucky if I got 30. It's hard to travel. It's hard to travel. with protein shakes and this and that, you know, it's just, you adapt and you find ways to do it, but I was beating myself up for a long time of, you know, this is hard for me. Why is this so fucking hard for me? No one else seems to be struggling with this. And then it's also admitting that you lack knowledge and information. I lack information about nutrition, what a,

what a healthy diet looks like. And I don't mean diet as in dieting. I mean as a, is in like a human diet. You know, what is a human supposed to eat and what is a human need to live long and healthy and happy? Yeah, it's been, it's been, this year has been so transformative in so many ways. And I mean, it's almost Halloween and that has nothing to do with it, but I just felt the need to say that

because I think I'm going to be a minion for Halloween. Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl. Anyway, one more thing. I am going to... This is completely off topics. And thank you for letting me cry, okay? Thank you for letting me cry about Alyssa the snack plate girl. I fucking love her.

I am going to see a play on Broadway. I've only ever seen, I think, one or two plays on Broadway, but like not Broadway, Broadway, off Broadway. I think I saw Wicked Off Broadway like 10 years ago and I saw Lion King, okay? Bought tickets to McNeil. This is a play, it's not a musical, and it stars none other than Robert Denny Jr. And y'all know how I feel about Robert Danny Jr.

That's my man, that's my fucking boy. He is doing a limited run of this play, McNeil, until November 24th, and the tickets are sold out so much to the point where I tried to get tickets for me and Stanley to go, it's so hard to find a show where there's two tickets next to each other, like completely sold out, to the point where it's only one individual seat at some shows.

I scored tickets on a Wednesday. I am so excited. Like, I have not been... I do a lot of celebrity interviews. I host red carpets. The idea of celebrity has sort of been tarnished to me a little bit, you know, because they're just normal people. And I grew up in the Tumblr era and whatever,

where these celebrities are gods. And to a certain extent that I... That sentiment still exists today. to a lot of people. But there are only a few people left in my life that are still up here that are like, oh my God. I will say after meeting Beyonce, she's still up there. One of the only remaining people on that list for me is Robert Downey Jr.

And I don't know why. I think if y'all have been listening to this podcast long enough and you know enough about me, you know that Iron Man 2 is one of my favorite movies of all time. Sherlock Holmes, one of my favorite movies of all time, are DJ's version? of course. Only you, which is one of RDJ's cheesy rom-coms from the 80s. These are all some of my favorite movies of all time. I love him. I love him truly. Like, he has informed so much of who I am as a person. I've never seen him in person. I've never seen him anywhere. I've never, you know what I mean? Like, I see the fan photos and then whatever, but he doesn't really take

pictures with fans on the street or whatever. He's also like 60. He's got kids and a wife. Susan Downey, his misses. Like, there's so many celebrities that are willing to play the celebrity game. I think RDJ likes being famous, but he doesn't buy it to this like, I'm, you know what I mean? Like, almost influencer level famous. I have a feeling, like, think fuck I'm going with someone because if I went to this shit alone, I would be weeping in the audience. And the play is not, like, it's about AI and, you know, struggling with the human

It's like a very highbrow, from what it seems from the synopsis, it seems like a very pointed and intentional play, very timely, very relevant. And I'm excited to see it for that reason. But also, when I see him in person, I don't know. Like, why do I feel like he's Ariana Grande? Like, I don't know. He is my Ariana Grande. I don't really know what's up with that. anyway, I'm seeing him.

I'm seeing the play and I'll let y'all know how it is. I see it in a few weeks and I'm flying to New York just to see it. I cannot wait. And I, because I told myself, I said, if this play ends and I miss my chance to see RDJ live on Broadway, it's over. Like, shut it down. La la la la. I'll go crazy. That will be the biggest regret.

You know how in old folks' homes, they have the old people sit there, and they're like, what's the secret to life? What's one regret you have? If I was 21 again, I would, dot, dot, dot. And they have them writing on these big whiteboards. Mine would be, I'll be 107 in the old folks home. My grandkids, my children abandoned me. Actually, I don't think I'll ever have kids.

So my nieces and nephews abandoned me. I'm in the old folks home in my wheelchair. They're like, what's the number one regret of your life on that I would write didn't see RDJ on Broadway? And I'd hold it up. And people would be like, who the fuck is RDJ? It's 2091. You know? Anyway.

Okay, guys, I think that'll do it for me this episode. I don't know what the fuck I talked about. And I'll see you next week. Seriously. Thanks for listening. And sorry about my lip. if it's grossing you out. Sorry, I talked about ointment for 45 minutes.

Sorry that my head is shaped like an egg, because I've been looking at that and this feedback monitor for about, give or take an hour. You know who else has informed my worldview and my life view? Kieran. Kulkin?

I'll get into that next episode. If you want Brokeky Report merch, just go to broskey.com. Just do it. Okay? I'm not going to, like, force you, but just go. Broskey.

dot shop, um, subscribe to the Brosky Report YouTube channel. Subscribe to the Royal Court YouTube channel. Very exciting episodes coming out in the next month. Also, really quickly, and I don't want this to be like a thing. I don't want to talk about Liam Payne. I don't want to talk about Liam Payne. So please stop asking me and please, um, yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Okay, I'll see you guys next week. And I love you. And thanks for listening. And, make sure you're registered to vote. And, bye-bye.