The Broski Report with Brittany Broski - 74: Thanksgiving with Stanley Tucci & Kai Cenat
Episode Date: November 26, 2024This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski professes her love for Popeyes, details her dream Thanksgiving dinner, talks fragrances, and discusses her goal of moving to Ireland.�...� Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report:https://www.linktr.ee/broskireporthttps://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany:https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court:https://www.youtube.com/@royalcourt https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourthttps://www.instagram.com/royalcourthttps://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Song of The Week:To Be Alone by HozierReproductive Resources:https://aidaccess.org https://plancpills.org https://Ineedana.com https://www.reprolegalhelpline.org/ https://heyjane.com LGBTQ+ Resources:https://Translifeline.org https://Glaad.org https://Pflag.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Climate Resources:https://Oceanconservancy.org https://Climateemergencyfund.org Some helpful credible resources/links to help Free Palestine:Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-traumaDoctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/secure/give-monthly-double-your-impact-search-onetime-reverse-mobile?ms=ADD2301U3U49&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND.DWB_CKMSF-BRAND.DWB-GS-GS-ALL-DWBBrand.E-BO-ALL-RSA-RSARefresh.1-MONTHLY&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWZpQAMikxPIRiPMfAjYsJZ-eHiRQV2pw7tu2Jlo6YL8Gk_uaTSwH0MaAtFGEALw_wcWorld Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/IG ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW:@eye.on.palestine@aljazeeraenglish@palestinianyouthmovement@byplestia@motaz_azaiza@impact CHAPTERS:00:00 - Intro01:20 - Popeyes03:48 - Dream Thanksgiving 05:30 - Conclave & Catholicism07:29 - Eddieville09:11 - Conclave & Catholicism Cont. 12:10 - Shakespeare14:23 - Conclave Cont.15:08 - Dream Thanksgiving Cont18:08 - Fragrance32:04 - Sun King & Stag Queen36:31 - Fragrance Cont. 39:10 - Dream Thanksgiving Cont.41:08 - Ireland45:20 - Dream Thanksgiving Cont.51:19 - Outro#brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #popeyes, #thanksgiving, #conclave, #stanleytucci, #catholicism, #ralphfiennes, #anthonybourdain, #asmr, #michellevisage, #greekmythology, #stag, #king, #queen, #andrewscott, #paulmescal, #ireland
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Direct from the Brozky Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California.
This is the Brozky Report with your host, Brittany Brosky.
Popping bottles in the ice, wom, wom, bum, bwom, like a slizzard.
The fuck is a slizzard.
When we drink, we do it right, getting slizzard.
Wait, is that the lyric?
Sipping slizzard in my ride, like a G6.
Now I'm feeling so slizzard like a d'6.
G6, like a...
What is a slizzard?
Slyzzard is a hip-hop slang term that means incredibly drunk or high.
Okay, I have been slizzard before.
To be slizzard.
To slither oneself.
Sometimes it will turn you into a slizzard, okay?
Guys, welcome back to the first Thanksgiving.
Ice turkey, Popeye's turkey,
Pop-I's turkey
Pop-I's turkey
Okay guys
If you didn't know
Popeyes does make occasion turkey
We do it every single year
That shit
I'm not joking
I was talking to a friend
about this recently
And they were like
What are you talking about
Popeye's turkey?
Like that's funny
And I was like
You think I'm joking?
I feel like I've spoken
about this ad
At length on the internet
Let me go ahead and swallow
For you guys
Let me go ahead and swallow
That big glott of spit
That was in my throat.
Just for you guys.
I'm looking out for you guys.
Okay?
I just,
I felt that kind of building up.
But I was like,
I could power through this ball of spit
and just have it be really gummy and flimmy.
Or I could swallow it, okay?
Because I'm always thinking about the audience.
I'm thinking about you guys.
Okay, Popeye's turkey.
There is, um, such a thing as a Popeye's turkey.
And you have to,
I know them bitches sell out in the cell.
Like, you got to secure yours in that line.
Do you remember when the Popeye's,
chicken sandwich dropped and people literally died.
Sorry, it's not funny.
It's not funny.
But what the fuck is wrong with you people?
About you people, I mean me.
There was a, for real, like, biblical fervor,
like a Noah's arc level panic of I have got to get that fucking sandwich.
Like, why was it so intense?
That picture of that Popeye's worker sat on the bench outside smoking with her head
of a Twitter.
Yeah, girl, I don't.
Yeah! Take a rest. Take a beat. Why were people so fucking crazy for that sandwich?
Is it delicious? Yes. Okay? And I understand on a sort of very human level. Of course, it's yum.
God, if Popeyes ever goes out of business, I'm telling you, that is one of America's treasures.
I know we've talked about this before. We've talked about KFC and how, you know, he wasn't even selling chicken at first.
Popeyes, dude, it is something.
so uniquely American and I'm so happy to be alive with Popeye's franchises all over the country,
if not the world, okay?
Guys, it's Thanksgiving.
Give it up.
Smoking a cigarette.
I think that Thanksgiving is, it's a great time to see your family that, you know, you don't
usually see.
It's a great excuse to stop working.
And I would like to take a moment to come up with my dream Thanksgiving dinner round
table. You know, who am I? Let's say it's at my house. I'm hosting the Thanksgiving meal.
Who's there and what are we eating? These are the questions placed before me today. And these are the
answers I am prepared to give you today. Okay. Something very sinister is brewing right now. Okay,
inside of me. I've had two coffees in a red bowl. I just came from a workout class. Yes, I work out
now. Okay. Bar method. I'm still doing bar method. Shout out to bar method.
I do that.
And I have my palm mascal cup.
I'm drinking a cherry, a cherry, what the fuck is this?
A golden cherry liquid IV out of my palm mascal cup.
And I'm ready to start this fucking episode.
Seriously, guys.
Welcome back to the Broccoli Report.
Today we're talking about Stanley Tucci once again.
Let's go ahead and get into it because I have a list of who,
because I've thought about this.
You know, if you can have dinner with anyone,
on Darylalav, who you peck?
Hey, Stanley Tucci's going to be number one.
And the day he dies, I'm gonna,
it's gonna be like how some of those psychotic British people were when Queen Elizabeth died,
like drop to my knees sobbing crying, how will I go on?
Like, when Stanley Tucci passes, I was about to say if.
He is this sort of omnipotent being in my eyes, okay?
Sometimes when I'm depressed, I rewatch his searching for Italy series that he did on YouTube,
whatever.
I bought that shit.
I spent US dollars to watch Stanley Tucci
searching for Italy.
I don't play about this shit.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't play.
I saw Conclave.
Conclave is gaggy, honestly.
There were some.
People were being mean about it online.
Yeah.
Can you people just enjoy something?
Sit down and enjoy a movie.
It doesn't always have to be,
well, I just thought that I'm right.
It was a little bit careless to the way the things.
It was poorly put together and poorly.
There was only three sets.
I don't give a fuck, okay?
that movie, here's a thing, okay?
Movies like that, they're not going to be blockbusters.
They're not going to be like, let's get the family together and go watch the fucking,
you know, the Catholic Church pick a new pope and everyone's fucked up.
That's not a family movie.
Okay, we're not doing Avengers, a symbol Ultron is fucking on Thanos right now.
We're not doing that.
We're doing Stanley Tucci perplexed by the onus put on him, okay?
The onus to be the next pope.
And he is not the next pope.
Okay, I'm sorry to ruin it, but he's not going to be the next pope.
Even though I would like to see Stanley Tucci as Papa Tucci, Papa Tucci, and with you, and with you.
I know very minimal about the Catholic Church, but I've always been intrigued by it because Dan Brown.
Talked about Dan Brown, one of my favorite books of all time, angels and demons.
That book started something in me when I was like 15, 14, where I was like, I don't know reading could be like this.
Like, I felt smart.
I felt like I had learned some stuff.
Of course, it's a historical fiction.
Of course, people have bullshit to say about Dan Brown
because you just can't enjoy anything.
That's one of my favorite books.
I really enjoyed it.
And it taught me a lot about, like,
I had no idea about the infrastructure
of the Catholic Church, okay?
Such an archaic institution,
bogged down, held back by tradition, right?
It is so sexist and so deeply bigoted
and so just riddled with injustice
and just prejudiced ways of thinking
all in the name of serving a higher power, right?
Can I just say something really quick?
It's amazing that I kind of stopped doing edibles
because I realized that it was making me stupid.
I was doing edibles so much,
I was turning stupid.
Like, for real, it was like the orb of confusion on SpongeBob.
I was doing so many edibles,
I literally would like wake up next morning
and be like,
what the fuck am I supposed to do?
What is it today?
Like, it was bad.
And now, look, I've stopped.
I have my cognitive function back.
I genuinely am, like, rejoicing.
I'm Elon Musk X jumping in the air.
Like, my brain works again.
I'm done with the edibles.
Okay, that shit was fucking me.
They taste good, though, huh?
That's one thing about California.
Those edibles, that's candy.
That shit is sweet tart-level gummy candy.
Yeah, I'll have stuff.
16 and then I wake up in the hospital.
Like, I'm not, I'm not playing
with you bitches, okay? I think it also
made me really, really unmotivated
to do anything because
that's the whole idea of a stoner.
Right? And I don't like that. I don't want to do
that. That's not me. I don't want to do all that shit.
I've hung out with people who do that shit. I don't like it.
I think you bitches are fucking dumb.
And then it turned me dumb.
Anyway,
what was I
talking about?
Right.
I just realized that this is gonna be a clip of me being like,
you bitches are fucking stupid with this dumb ass hat on my head.
Forehead reveal.
Oh, God.
Get it down.
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
What the fuck was I talk about?
Oh, Conclave.
I really enjoyed.
From the moment I saw the trailer,
because I saw the trailer on the,
when I went to go see the substance,
which that movie's fucking psycho.
which is another like, I mean, is it indie?
I don't know what you would call that.
Where it's like, this is for a specific subgenre of moviegoers, right?
This is not something you go see with your whole family.
This is not something that you see with your dad.
This is like, you know, it's a movie for the moviegoers sort of thing.
I saw a preview for Conclave when I went to go see that.
And I was like, okay, it'll be kind of in the same vein of this.
I thought it was going to be like spotlight, right?
Like that isn't spotlight about this?
Catholic Church?
How has it only been 10 minutes?
Spotlight movie.
It follows the Boston Globes.
Where am I?
The Boston Globe's Spotlight Team,
the oldest continuously operating newspaper
investigative journalist unit in the United States
and its investigation into decades-long cover-up
of widespread and systemic child sex abuse
by numerous priests of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston.
Yes, this whole movie is about just how
deep it goes. And when there would be one offender, they would just move him to a different church.
And when he would offend again, they'd move him to a different church. Same deal. Nothing ever gets done.
It just gets silenced. Okay. Spotlight is such an iconic and important movie. And it won many awards.
It's definitely secured its place in like cinema history. I thought Conclave was going to be
in that same vein, you know, of like, look how fucked the church is. It definitely reveals that,
that the Cardinals are flawed, because of course they are.
Not only is man, capital M, flawed,
but any man you put in a position of power,
they've got skeletons in the closet.
And I thought that then that was going to be
the premise of the movie.
No, ma'am.
This movie was kind of gaggy.
I mean, it's got a twist at the end that was like,
what the fuck?
Look, in terms of like a thrilling,
what's going to happen,
also kind of T.
Like Conclave was T.
Go watch it.
I don't know how much longer
it'll be in theaters.
I really enjoyed it.
Stanley Tudy's in it.
And who's the lead guy?
I really like that lead guy.
I sound like my grandmother.
Conclave.
Ralph Fienis.
Ralph Pinesh.
Sorry.
Fien.
Fien?
English.
He's British.
How do you pronounce that last name?
Ralph Nathaniel.
Twilston Wycom Phineas.
What a name.
Ralph Nathaniel Twilston
Wee Camphineas is an English
actor, film producer, and director. He graduated
from Rada in 1985, a Shakespeare
interpreter. He excelled on stage at the Royal National
Theatre before having further success
at the Royal Shakespeare Company. Those bitches
that do Shakespeare like that, Andrew Scott,
Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hittleston,
dude,
that's a type, that is a brand
of man that
I like to think I'd be able to, you know, obviously like I could get along well with that type of man.
It's just a bit pretentious.
And I say that with a big fat hand heart.
I say that with all the love in the world.
It's a bit pretentious.
But it's also this level of cognition and intelligence that most people, A, never reach and B, don't want to understand because Shakespeare is Shakespeare.
You know what I mean?
There's so much other equally as important and impactful modern media that I'd rather see.
But Shakespeare, the tradition of Shakespeare, I respect as an institution.
I respect the actors who take on that challenge.
And I respect the successful interpretations of it, you know, because it is hard.
And I remember in high school, half the reason I even passed a test on Macbeth was because of David Tennant's interpretation of fucking Hamlet and Macbeth.
like watching it instead of reading it on a page and being like, why did they spell a word like that?
Why are they talking funny? I don't fucking get this. I'm hungry. It was watching David Tennant like embody the character, watching it on a stage, watching it within the set design. Watch, oh, it came to life. You know, I think that's something that high school is kind of get wrong sometimes. It's like, why are you making me read a play? We should be watching the play so that I get it. Anyway, I have a, I have a, I have. I have a, I have. I have.
a lot of respect for these sort of actors and taking on that challenge. But again, very, very, very, very pretentious.
He's also in the menu. That's how I know him. Oh, and the Grand Budapest. Oh, he's like so famous, actually. I've seen him. I know him from a lot of things. Yeah, Harry Potter, the Orde the Phoenix, the Kingsman, Grand Budapest Hotel, Schindler's List, the menu, conclave. Yeah, he's been in so many things. God, the menu fucked me up. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy movie.
Okay. Anyway, go back, go back. What was I talking about? Conclave. Really enjoyed it.
Stanley Tucci played himself, which I love. And I was engaged through the whole thing.
At the end, I have missed seeing movies and theaters. Stanley's going to watch this and be like, I hate you.
Because he's always like, we should go see a movie. Have you seen this? Have you seen this? Have you seen this?
No, I'm not going to the theater. And then I go see a movie to theater. And I'm like, guys, seeing a movie in a theater might be my new thing.
Has anyone tried to go to their local AMC?
I'd really recommend it.
I know he's infuriated.
I don't give a fuck.
I really enjoyed Conclave.
And I went by myself.
I took myself on a little date.
Got me a little popcorn raisinette cherry coat combo.
Sat my white ass down in that chair and listened.
Okay?
Really enjoyed it.
Stanley Tucci is invited to the Thanksgiving.
All that to say.
That was a roundabout way to say.
Love him.
And you know what else?
Another thing on Stanley Tucci?
I'm making him.
cook. But here's, I feel like, if we're doing dead or alive, dead and alive,
Stanley Tucci will be sat next to Anthony Bourdain. I'm at the head of the table. I'm wearing this,
and I'm wearing a beautiful ball gown. But around the stomach, it's been cut out, because I was
going to say, you know, in a beautiful ball gown, you have to wear Spanx. No, no, no. It's a
stretchy band around my stomach. So I can eat until I'm enlarged, until I'm physically unwell,
and I have to be horizontal.
You know when you eat so much
you can feel your heartbeat in your stomach?
That's awful.
Where are my binge eating girls at?
Yes!
Yes!
Okay.
At the table, I'm at the head.
To my left, Anthony Bourdain.
To my right, Stanley Tucci.
They're talking.
I'm listening.
I'm not speaking.
I actually have a notebook and I'm taking notes.
Anthony Bourdain, Stanley Tucci.
Did they ever meet?
Stanley Tucci?
and Anthony Bourdain.
Please say yes, please say.
Stanley Tucci wants you to stop comparing him to Anthony Bourdain.
Fuck.
I'm not comparing them.
I'm saying I'd like to watch them have a conversation.
Okay, anyway, they're going to be sat next to each other,
or across from each other.
Moving down the table,
we have got to get DreamScape ASMR.
That bitch has done more for me
than any other living person.
probably. DreamScape, ASMR. Let's pull her up. You all know that I love her. You all know that I talk
about her incessantly. I love her. I think she's so inventive. I think specifically she would have to come in
one of her cosplays. Yes. Yes. Because we get dressed up nice for Thanksgiving dinner. She would
have to come in one of her cosplays. And there would be a section where everyone would have to shut
the fuck up and she would do a role play. And she would do like, I don't know, I don't know,
I would let her choose, you know, of course, like a sci-fi, cyberpunk sort of.
She's got like a cyborg guy and a robot hand, and she's like serving gravy to everyone at the table.
That would be, I need dreamscape ASMR to be at my Thanksgiving table.
She would add an ambience and a piece that I really need because what if Anthony and Stanley start fighting?
And then I have to be like, guys, guys, stop it.
She's serving the gravy, okay?
They wouldn't fight, though, just to be just to be clear.
we would be having a ball of a time at my end of the table with Anthony and Stan.
We would be having a fucking blast.
Okay.
DreamScape ASMR definitely would be there.
Now, this one would, she would sit across from Dreamscape ASMR, Michelle Vassage.
Michelle Vassage, I just feel the need to go on a little tangent really quick.
Michelle Vesage has taken to TikTok.
This has been incredibly positive on my.
mental health on my mental well-being, on my overall well-being.
Michelle Vesage does perfume, perfume talk, okay?
Fragrance talk is a whole beast in and of itself on TikTok.
Everybody thinks they're a motherfucking perfumist.
What's the word for a, is there a word for someone who, who specializes in fragrance?
perfumery. Perfumer. Oh, duh.
Someone who specializes in fragrance is called a perfumer. And can I say something really quick?
Jim and I, like Google's AI, I'm kind of addicted. Like, I'm kind of addicted. Like, the way that it answered my question.
This is what I've wanted from Google since I started this goddamn podcast. Me being like,
and is there actually possibility were dragons ever in West Africa, Google? Like, were they there?
Because I saw it, they found scales. And then Google would be like,
Well, yes, they've found, I don't want links.
I want you to answer me like I'm a human.
Boom.
AI overview.
Yes, someone who specializes in fragrance is called a perfumer.
That's what I'm talking about.
Talk to me like I'm an adult human.
Google.
Okay, anyway.
Yes, there are people who claim to be perfumers on TikTok.
And I can appreciate, you know, like you have a large rolodex,
a large collection of friends.
fragrances that you've bought throughout the years, you know, you can group them in terms of
these are perfume, these are perfume, these are Ude-Pourne, these are Ude-Tolet, these are whatever,
you know, in terms of strength, okay?
Then you can rank them or group them in terms of, which most people do, notes.
These are the florals, these are the earthies, these are the musky gourmand, which is coffee,
vanilla, whatever.
I started, well, first of all, I followed Michelle Vessage on TikTok because, of course I did,
And then I was kind of gagged at her collection because I'm like a, I'm not a perfumer.
I enjoy a beautiful fragrance, though.
And I like to invest in a really well-made fragrance that like I will wear until I'm
at the bottom of the bottle.
You know what I mean?
Like I use it until there's nothing left.
I have done, I'm going to do a little tangent really quick.
I've done like the Joe Malone's.
Okay, those don't last.
Joe Malone makes beautiful fragrances.
They do not last.
Don't waste your money.
Killian.
Killian is Rihanna's perfume of choice.
I think Beyonce wears something from Killian as well.
Killian is a very strong, very interesting maker of perfumes.
And this is like, I mean, the bitch is on technology.
They're like, I got stopped in the street for what I?
I was wearing six times today.
It's the fair amounts.
Shut the fuck up, girl.
It's because the perfume is really strong.
That's all it is.
It's just the strength of how this perfume was made.
It's not that it smells that good.
It's just that people can smell you from across the fucking room.
Killian is that.
I have Angel's Share, which is it looks like it's in a little whiskey cup.
It's whiskey glass.
It's really, really gorgeous.
I was addicted to it for a while.
Me and my friend Katie were.
And then it just got too much.
Like, not embarrassed, but like, I would walk into a room and people would be like, oh,
it's just that strong.
It's sexy for like a night out, you know, where like everyone's drunk and they're close to you.
And then they're like, you smell good.
I'm like, yeah, motherfucker, because I sprayed this in a way where a mile away you can smell me coming.
It's very vanilla-y.
It's very warm.
It's very spicy.
It's very, it's very beautiful.
It's not an every day.
So I stopped wearing it.
My go-to used to be YSL black opium.
Of course, everyone has a YSL black opium phase
because it's just good.
It's warm and it's not overpowering, but it's sweet.
It's just a very feminine, sexy fragrance.
Then for a second, I tried to do like,
what, who makes that?
Gourlain, Paris.
Girlane.
Okay, I did Joe Malone.
Girlane.
Gourlain.
Gooky.
Why sell?
Shit, what else?
Dip take.
Yeah, I've tried all the different, like, famous, you know what I mean?
Like, famous accessible ones.
I'm learning about brands and perfumers from perfume makers from Michelle Vassage
and other people that she follows on TikTok that I've never heard of.
And I'm very excited.
It's an addiction, though.
It's a problem.
Because I don't, I should not be spending that kind of money on those sort of things.
Do you know what I mean?
but it's fun to get into.
So back to Killian, I think Rihanna's been known to wear one called Good Girl Gone Bad.
Or maybe someone made that up.
That one's a very beautiful fragrance as well.
Again, they're just very intense.
Some of the ones I've settled on right now are Dip Teak makes one called Orphion,
which is beautiful.
It's very androgynous, which I love.
I am addicted to androgynous sense.
For a while, I was wearing a grulon, make.
this, I forget the name of it, but it's like a black square. It's a men's cologne, and I would
wear that because I liked it. I would mix that with Sol de Janeiro makes a, hello, hello, remember
what you wanted to say. Sol de Janeiro makes a lotion that I would layer under it. They would add a
little bit of sweetness to it. But again, it wouldn't last. Now I've settled on Orphion by Dipique.
love that one as just like an everyday dosun by diptec this is a very floral which i do not wear
i do not do florals but i smelled do son in the store and i was like now hold on a damn minute
hold on a damn minute i love dosan that was for for like three months i was only doing dosan
then i moved on to um diptec makes one called vetiverr that is just that it's just pure
vettiver i know there's probably some other bullshit in there i only smell vettiver this can kind of lean a little
little grandma sometimes, so I mix it with something else. What I'm addicted to as of literally
three, like, minutes ago, I ordered a discovery set from Heretic Parfumes, because they just did a line
with Nosferatu for that new movie, which I'm so excited for. I'm so excited. I'm so excited for
Nosephorotter. Anyway, they came out with a line. I ordered a sample. Didn't love it, but the discovery
set, I went through that whole bitch. There are three.
three that I really liked. The one that I am addicted to is actually a D-de-Vontese collab with
Heretic perfumes. It's called Scandal Wood. Dude. Dude. I'm addicted to it. The little thing,
it was gone in a day. I was a spray in my mouth, in my eyeballs, like down my throat. I am
addicted to this perfume. I ordered the full one. It's coming in soon. I'm so excited.
that and I'm also doing
um
my son Louis Marie
number two
Le Lengfrand
two very
androgynous sense
I mix them together and they are
fucking beautiful and it's so
it's fun to experiment with all that
you know what I mean like it's just fun and also
something that Jackie Ina had taught me
is that
don't save the perfume
for a nice occasion or do
this or never wear it. Fucking wear the perfume. Every night before I go to bed, I spray on my neck
and on my wrist. So it went on my blankies, I smell it because that's what it's for. It's for you to
enjoy. I'm not trying to impress anyone else. It's because I like it and I want to smell good. And so I do.
And after I take my shower, do my lotion. I do my Laura Mercier, vanilla, vanilla, whatever the fuck
it's called lotion, which they change the formula on and I'm pissed off, but I so buy it. And then I do
that and then I do my vetiver and I do my whatever and then I say, and then I wake up in the
morning and I smell good and I smell like grease a little bit because I sweat my sleep.
I smell like scalp when I wake up because sometimes I sleep too hard and I smell like scalp.
Okay, it just sort of happens to me sometimes.
My dad is so greasy.
It's a genetic thing, of course, is what I'm getting at.
My dad is so greasy.
Every single TV remote, we,
ever had in our home, all the little stickers on the buttons have been wiped off because he is so
greasy. You can't even, hey dad, what did that used to say? Couldn't tell you. But it's for muscle
memory that he knows where the volume and where the channel and the numbers and all that bullshit is.
It's because he's so greasy. On his side of the bed on his headboard side where he leans his head
up against the headboard, it's been rubbed off because he's so greasy. I'm the same way. I'm humiliated.
I'm in the shower.
Scrubbing.
I'm still greasy.
I wake up, I smell.
Who fucking fried French fries in here, bro?
Oh, it's my scalp.
Okay, perfect.
Anyway, that's been my thing lately.
I don't know why the fuck.
Oh, Michelle Vassage.
Hello!
Michelle Vassage has started showing her
grand collection of perfumes,
and I'm addicted.
Like, I'm trying not to give in
and buy every single thing
that she recommends because she sells them so well.
Her number one fragrance of all time
is this like fucked up coffee gourmand.
And gourmand, I believe, is what?
I always think of it as like food.
It's something that smells like cake or coffee
or like it's food based, I want to say.
What's the actual definition?
Gormand is a fragrance family
that includes sweet notes like vanilla,
chocolate, marshmallow, and whipped cream.
The word gourmandan comes from the medieval
French term gourmont, which means glutton. Oh, perfect. A gourmand is someone who is very interested
in good food and drink and may have a hearty appetite. The term originally referred to someone who
ate and drank excessively, but more commonly today, it means someone who is enthusiastic about good
food and drink. In France, the term is sometimes used in the loving or playful way,
but it can also have a negative connotation, meeting greedy. You all know I love etymology. I had to
go ahead and read that little paragraph for you right there, right, quit. Um, okay.
Yeah, a gourmand, it has to be the right gourmand for me.
The gourmand has to be layered with something more masculine to balance it.
Scandalwood does it so well.
I don't know what the notes are in Scandalwood.
We have to look it up, actually.
Grounding sandalwood flirts with exotic coriander, musk, and voluptuous Bulgarian rose.
And I see, I don't like rose.
I don't get rose from this perfume.
It's so gaggy, honestly, how some perfumes, like,
I'll read a description.
It'll be like
Bergamott,
white musk,
um,
amber,
vetiver.
And I'll be like,
oh my God,
that sounds so good.
Oh,
I love all those things.
Those are all my favorite sort of notes.
And I'll smell it.
Ah!
Garbage shoot!
Garbage disposal.
Grandmother.
Dead grandmother.
Like,
I don't,
some companies just get it wrong.
Like,
you have this beautiful array of notes.
You did not mix them correctly.
They do not mesh well with my
skin. The thing too about scandal wood is whatever grease is happening and my sort of genetic pool
mixes very well with the scandal wood. Okay? My grease mixes well with Dita Vantese's grease.
Something chemicals happening there that's creating something very beautiful. Um, yeah, dude, I don't,
I don't smell rose at all here, but, uh, it's very beautiful. Atlas Cedar, coriander, Bulgarian rose
labdanum, labdanum, labdanum, what the fuck is labdenum? Labdenum. Lab. Lab.
than um sticky brown resin that comes from the rock rose plant it's a popular ingredient because of
its warm musky and slightly sweet aroma it's often described as leathery animalic or amber like period
love that love that for me sandalwood and white musk i love this perfume i never would have guessed
that there's there's uh rose in it i do not like what's that famous dumbass perfume that every
One loves Marley, Palfune de Mali, Palfourne de Mali.
They make beautiful fragrances.
They're just not for me.
Their most famous one is that rose one.
Y'all know the one I'm talking about.
I'm just not.
Everyone sings the praises,
the number one perfume you need if you want to be stopped in the street.
I actually just got so mad I went silent.
I actually just got so pissed off.
I went, I went quiet.
I actually didn't have anything to say.
I was so mad.
Okay.
Um
Rose
Parfume
De Marley
Yeah girl this one
And it's so goddamn expensive
For no reason
It's beautiful
It's beautiful
Okay
It's giving
Versailles
Roecoe Marie Antoinette
This is all
You know
It's definitely giving
The Sun King
King Louis the
Hold on
Let me test my
History really quick
Sun King
King
Louis the 16th?
Yeah, I want to say the 16th.
Let's check it.
The sun king.
King Louis the 14th, also known as Louis the Great or the Sun King, was King of France from 1643 until 1715.
Damn, 72 year long rain.
That's nuts.
You know he smelled bad.
You know he smelled bad!
Why was he called the Sun King?
He chose the Sun King as his son.
emblem and cultivated an image of himself as the sun god Apollo. Okay, that's me. That's me when I said
I'm a stag. When some random-ass quiz from Google.gov told me I was a stag and I said, hold on,
rebrand incoming. I'm the stag queen. Yeah, yeah, I'm the stag queen. Let's look up the respective
God. Who is the God? Hold on. Maybe I might know it. The goddess of the hunt. Demeter?
the goddess of the hunt
Demeter
That feels
Hold on
If y'all
If I got that right
Who is the goddess of the hunt
Diana
I was so confident
Can we mean back crap
Oh crap
Artemis
In Greek religion
The goddess of wild animals
The hunt and vegetation
And of chastity and childbirth
She was identified by the Romans
With Diana
Daddy Diana
Demeter
Well, girl, fuck you!
In most of her myths and cults,
Demeter is the grain mother, or the earth mother.
Demeter was the Greek goddess of agriculture,
the harvest, fertility, and the earth.
I wasn't that far off.
She was one of the 12 Olympians and the patron goddess of farmers.
Well, maybe I was far off.
Demeter was the daughter of Rea and Kronos.
Now, Kronos has crazy,
Was Kronos the one that ate his son?
Or Kronos fed...
Kronos was the son
who fed somebody to his dad.
The titan...
That whole shit was crazy. The Titans?
Anyway.
Her symbols include the cornucopia,
scythe, wheat, bread, and harvest grains.
Her sacred animals were the pig and the snake.
Demeter. So not Demeter.
Diana.
Diana, goddess.
The goddess of the hunt, the moon, and wild animals.
Is there a goddess of the stag?
God, that's loki me.
This is loki me.
That's how I fucking look like.
Editors, put me side by side.
Whatever.
Goddess of the hunt.
Is there a goddess of stags?
Artemis is the Greek goddess.
Now, I always thought Artemis was a man.
It's Greek goddess of the wilderness and is often depicted with a stag or deer.
Brough, I am.
I'm Artemis.
Okay, I'm going to be the stag queen, the way that Louis the 14th was the sun king.
I am going to wear, what's that?
I happen to have stag antlers right here just randomly for no reason at all, other than it is natural to me,
other than right now I've never felt more like myself than in this moment.
okay, the stag queen
POV, I'm the stag queen
and you stand before me and you're begging
for more food, water,
rations, medicine,
but I spend all the money on these crazy horns.
Ask me something.
No!
Ask me something again.
Anyway, guys, seriously.
Yeah, you're looking at Artemis, essentially.
So, dear mythology.
Classic deer mythology.
Okay, let's move on.
Michelle Vassage.
Okay, Michelle Vassage details.
Her favorite perfume of all time
is this coffee fragrance.
Coffee fragrances to me,
you know what it gives?
It gives when you're at Sephora
or any perfume store
and you smell,
they have those coffee grounds
because it resets your nasal palette
or whatever that is.
We're like in between sniffing fragrances
where everything starts to smell the same.
You sniff coffee beans
and it like electroshocks your brain
and your nose hairs.
And you're like,
fuck and then you go smell something else.
That's what coffee fragrances give me.
Like, why do you smell like coffee?
Like, you smell like when the teacher would come over and be like,
how are you?
With their coffee breath, get the fuck away from me.
You know what I mean?
Like, it gives that a little bit.
But I say all that and I'm talking out of my butt because maybe it's delicious.
And I do trust Michelle Vassage.
So if she says it smells great, I believe her.
Now something I want to get better at is layering the fragrances.
That's something that I'm still, I'm trying to figure out.
out that world. Because like, if patchouli is the base note of the three perfumes I'm mixing,
what's the point? Because if they're all just going to be patchouli, then I'm just layering
pechuli on top of one another. It'll be slightly different, but I want to do, like,
how do you know that amber goes well with bergamot that goes well with musk, that goes well with
vanilla? And like not a cheap vanilla, like a very golden, warm vanilla, like a rich vanilla.
Oh, I've been addicted to lately.
D.S. and Durga makes a fragrance called, I think I've talked about this, called Gateau Blackout.
Gatot Blackout?
Oh, bitch.
It's very interesting.
Very interesting.
I really like that one.
So, anyway, all that to say, I don't know that much about layering.
So at Thanksgiving dinner, I'm going to ask Michelle Bassage about what's going on there,
because that's something that I'd like to get more into.
And I think it comes down to just practice.
and finding fragrances that are equal strength.
Because if, like, if I sprayed the Killian fragrance on me
and then a Maison Louis, whatever the fuck,
you're not gonna be able to smell the Mason Louis one at all
because it just goes away because Killian is so overpowering.
So even though on paper, they might have similar
or complimentary notes, you would never,
oh my God, I'm so sorry,
just back, whacked y'all upside the head.
You would never mix those two,
because it's just not gonna...
One's eating out everyone.
One of them's gonna eat out to rest of them.
It's just gonna eat everything out.
It's gonna be dripping down a chin.
Okay, moving on.
Back to my list.
Oh, okay, further down the table.
Again, sitting across from each other.
This is a long rectangular table
that it's as long as I want it to be
because I'm the stag queen.
And if I want this table to be 36 people,
it's gonna be 36 people.
And I'm gonna make everyone shut up
so that I can talk to each person
individually because that's what I want. Because I am the Supreme Leader Stag Queen. I know,
get rid of Supreme Leader. I am now the Stag Queen. I'm queen of the horned animals.
Other than rhinos, they kind of scare me. Okay, at this level of the table, we're now what?
One, two, three, we're three rows deep. I have to poop. It just hit.
Something's brewing in my stomach like a curing.
Anyway, at this point in the table, Andrew Scott, Paul Meskell, they're sitting across from each other.
And also, actually, maybe I'm not going to put them next to each other because they kind of give bestie vibes.
I want my time with each of them.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't want this to be, y'all hang out in the corner and you're chis meando, and I'm left out.
I want to be in on the chisemang.
So actually, Stanley Tucci and Tony, y'all are going to move down a little bit because Andrew and Paul are going to take the turn right here.
and all, and I just want to talk to them.
Because I feel like they're a damn good hang.
Hey, us after three cocktails, you bet your ass, we're cackling, giggling.
Okay?
That's my, I feel very deeply that, uh, me, Andrew Scott and Paul Meskel would have a fucking time.
We would have a blast together, mind you.
And don't you forget that.
Um, and I haven't seen that movie that they did together because I just, I know it'll make me
very, very deeply unwell.
I know that it'll make me very sad.
I don't like to be sad.
Okay?
I watched Little Women.
What, what was that?
Three, four months ago,
made me very sad,
but also very happy.
I love little women.
Okay?
Actually, I lied.
Little woman made me sad a little bit,
but happy more than anything,
because Sarah Sharonan,
again,
Olle!
Olle!
I need to get an Irish flag tattoo.
I'm thinking about getting an apartment in Dublin.
Right here.
Guys, stick with me, okay?
I just feel very physically far,
but something is calling my spirit home.
Something is calling me here.
And I don't know what it is.
I don't know if I should listen to it,
but I feel that I've been denying it.
I've been denying it for a long time.
And I'm looking at this mat back here.
And I know, wasn't I missing Ireland for a while?
What country was I missing?
Couldn't tell you.
I had to, it fell off.
And y'all were like, you're missing fucking.
And then I had to put it up there.
Anyway, Ireland
Guys, I don't know
I don't know what it is
This is not an uncommon thing though
Like people feel called to certain places
And I don't know why
But I have seen people be like
Have you just had that one place
You just know
You just know you're supposed to be
And for a while I thought that was Spain for me
Because I've been to Spain three times
And every time I'm like
God I love it here
Like I could really live here
But then I went to Ireland and I was like
Hold on
Stop the light
Stop the light
I truly like there's something there
That I don't know
I don't know
It is a shared
Spiritual connection
I don't know what it is
Hopefully if I move there I'll figure it out
Maybe if I move there
It'll ruin the shine
And that I can be like
Okay I tried it let's give it a rest
I can go back to my country
Okay but maybe if I'm like
Look, what is the path to Irish citizenship?
Is it difficult?
There's a bug in here.
Is it difficult?
What's involved?
Do I have to spend a certain amount of money?
That's crazy shit, by the way.
For some people, like, there's a certain level of visa to come into the United States
where you have to spend like a quarter of a million dollars
or have a quarter of a million dollars invested into the American economy to qualify for that level of visa.
What?
Me spending $250,000 on Irish.
top shop in Primark.
Yeah, bitch.
I'll do that.
I'll do that if it gets me an apartment in Dublin.
Next time we go,
I think we're going to do like Galway
and I don't know if I want to do Belfast.
I haven't heard.
Belfast is Northern Ireland, right?
That's still their fucking UK.
Belfast.
Capital of Northern Ireland.
Yeah, I'm sure. Shout out Belfast.
I'm not going there.
I'd rather do Dublin in like the
the southern countryside.
I would much rather do that, I think.
Yeah, I gotta go to Cork.
Or maybe I don't.
Maybe I don't.
Yeah, I have to go to Cork, said no one.
But look at that, dude.
Look at that.
That is nuts.
It's so beautiful in like a sad, natural way.
It's beautiful in a sad way.
Which I'm, I am fucking with that.
You know what I mean?
Like it's beautiful in a decrepit sort of ivy-ridden castle sort of way.
A love story to a long ago history of struggle and victory and peace, maybe eternal peace, hopefully one day.
Like that sort of, I just, I don't know.
What's the famous one that starts with a K where all the rich people live in Ireland?
It's in like the South.
Where do the rich, where do the rich folk live in Ireland?
Kinsell?
No, not Dublin.
Maynooth?
Ballsbridge!
Okay, Brookesky Nation meet up in Ballsbridge.
In Pinos Town in Ballsbridge.
Okay.
Anyway.
Okay, back to my table.
Moving on, down the line.
After Andrew and Paul, we're doing Kaisenat and Druski.
We're doing Kaisenat and Drusky.
Kaisenat had Bill Nye on the stream.
He's doing like a month-long stream.
Who the fuck else is doing it like, Kaisnat?
There's no one.
Kaisnet had Bill Nye on the stream.
He also had...
Oh, his little robot.
That's so funny.
He had the Jabalaki's on.
I get fed Kaisanaat clips on my TikTok.
Like, I'm literally a 13-year-old boy.
Like, and they come across and I'm like,
Kaisenat!
I love Kaisen-Nat! I love Kaisenet!
I love Kaisen!
The clips of Drewskiy's could have been auditions,
could have been records auditions.
Yeah, I watch every single one.
If you were to scroll through my YouTube history,
it would literally be like, could have been Memphis,
could have been Houston, could have been,
like I've seen every single one, even his British ones.
I get Duke Dennis compilations.
There is a part of me that is a 15-year-old boy
that you just cannot kill off.
I've tried to silence him.
Hello?
I'm recording.
I've tried to silence it.
I've tried to shut that part of my brain down.
I can't.
So, Kyson and Andrewskey, y'all are sat at my table.
Moving on down the line is going to be Chapel Rhone.
Chapel Rhone to the left, T.S. Madison to the right.
Chapel Rone, T.S. Madison.
Okay, I'll let y'all girls talk.
Y'all go ahead and talk, and then I'll come down there and join you in a second.
Okay, I'm talking to Paul and Andrew.
That's sort of going to be, for right now, my Thanksgiving table.
It is bound to change, and here's the menu.
I'm not taking suggestions.
I'm not taking into account what any of my guests.
want to eat. This is what I want to eat, okay? Because it is my Thanksgiving because I am the
stag queen. Popeye's turkey, number one. My mom's mashed potatoes recipe, okay? It's, you put like
onion salt and sour cream and cream cheese. It is makes you shit your pants, but it's so good.
Green bean casserole, aka GBC. Don't get it twisted. Don't fuck up the recipe. You do it exactly as it is
on the back of that French's dried onion can,
French's dried onion little packet.
You do it exactly as it is, the cream of mushroom soup
with the nasty canned green beans.
That's what I want.
I don't want any of that natural homemade bullshit.
I want off the package recipe.
That'll do it for me every time.
It is so salt rich.
It literally dries out your whole body.
That's what I want.
And the shit on top has to be crispy.
Sweet potato casserole.
And I mean the southern sweet potato casserole with marshmallows in it.
And fuck you if you don't like that with the marshmallow,
the toasted marshmallows on top where when you get you a little scoop and you put it on your plate,
the marshmallow literally melts into the rest of it.
There's brown sugar in it.
It is delicious.
It's basically a dessert, but it's sweet potato casserole.
Next, we're going to do stuffing.
I like the out-of-the-box stuffing.
Like stofers?
I love that shit.
But if someone, I like it when people make their own.
I'll allow homemade recipes for that, because I do enjoy that.
Okay, I like it when it's, you know, you can put actual bread in it.
What else do people put in there?
Like green onions, seasoning.
I like that.
Cranberry sauce.
I like cranberry sauce.
Look at me, dude.
I'm Caucasian.
You're going to look at me and say, no, she doesn't look like she likes cranberry sauce.
You're a liar.
I love cranberry sauce, and I like to put it on my turkey.
because I am pale.
I am Caucasian.
I love that shit.
It's delicious.
It's a beautiful color combination.
It's a beautiful flavor combination.
And my mom makes a good one that has like actual cranberries in it.
It's not like that nasty gelatinous shit from the can.
We don't do that.
It's like a homemade one.
It's really sweet.
There's pecans in it.
There's like real cranberries.
It is so delicious.
What else?
Sweet tea.
Got to have a big.
big jug of sweet tea.
Dr. Pepper.
For dessert,
I feel like just because you got to have a pumpkin pie on the table,
am I eating it?
Eh.
You know,
I might cut off like the end of a slice and, like, nibble on it
just because I feel compelled to.
And it's,
it's kind of good.
But I feel like I'm going for brownies.
Again, my mom makes a beautiful brownie with Reese's pieces,
Reese's,
um,
What is that called Reese's chips?
You know like chocolate chips, but they're Reese's chips.
They're a little peanut butter.
Oh, my God.
You mix in the Reese's chips in that brownie mix.
Delicious.
So good.
Melt in your mouth.
We're doing brownies.
We'll do...
Damn, what else?
Oh, my God.
Peanut butter rice, crispy treats.
Love that.
Love that.
Love that.
Maybe a salad.
Maybe a salad on the side.
Okay, like a Caesar salad or something,
but it can't get soggy.
Like you,
or maybe like an olive garden dressing salad.
I like that.
I like that.
We'll have that on the side just because everything else is like salt, lard, butter, fat, turkey skin.
Yeah, I have you a little salad.
Okay, everybody in this room needs it.
I am dairy-free and gluten-free, but you better bet this Thanksgiving all bets are off.
My ass is at that table gobbling.
I am gobbling down anything that I can get my grubby little man hands on.
I don't give a fuck, dude.
I'm eating like my life depends on it.
And then I'll come back here and then I'll have my protein bars and my snack plates and my bean salad.
Okay? Dintz bean salad DBS.
I'll do all that when I get home.
Okay, that's my menu.
That's my table.
Yeah, guys, I feel like that sort of just covered my basis.
I hope y'all have a happy Thanksgiving and feel compelled to also say that the glimmer of Thanksgiving is that it's just that it's a glimmer.
right, if we're being historically accurate.
We also celebrate
Indigenous People's Day.
That's sort of the reason for the season.
But Thanksgiving, I think, is an excuse to get
with your family, right? It's an excuse to
gather around, share a beautiful meal.
The actual history of Thanksgiving, I'm not doing all that.
Okay, I'm not really celebrating all that. We're not doing that.
Okay, guys, song of the week. My song of the week
is, oh, it was a hosier song, which one? Oh, to be alone.
To be alone by hosier.
Hoseier makes just music for any season.
To Be Alone has been just like my hyperfixation song.
I have this every six to nine months where I'm like,
it's one hosier song that I cannot get out of my head.
Last or two weeks ago, it was Empire Now.
Great song. God, it's a great song.
Yeah, this week is To Be Alone.
That intro guitar lick and then his high notes, he hits.
Damn.
Okay, team, if you want Brosky Report merch, go get it.
Who's stopping you?
I'm not stopping you.
You can go to brooskey.com.
We've got trucker hats.
Go get you a Brosky Report.
trucker hat. Seriously, folks.
All right, love y'all.
I'll see you next week. Seriously.
Bye.
