The Bryce Crawford Podcast - How Jesus SAVED EX OnlyF*ns Model (EP 54)

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

In this video, Bryce sits down with ex OF model and talks about Jesus. Filmed By; Josh Rodriguez @whitehorse.studios MERCH👉 https://www.jesusinthestreet.com subscribe for more! Sow Into My Ministry One-Time or Monthly! Visit 👉 https://www.equipnet.org/missionaries/bcrawford   (all donations are tax deductible) Download Our FREE Bible Plan https://growinfaith.readytoconnect.com/join-the-one-year-bible-challenge  follow me on other platforms! Podcast Instagram 👉https://instagram.com/brycecrawfordpodcast Personal Instagram 👉 https://instagram.com/brycecrawford Merch Instagram 👉 https://instagram.com/ilovejesus Tiktok (main) 👉https://www.tiktok.com/@brycecrawford  Tiktok (2nd) 👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@adventuresofbryce  Snapchat https://snapchat.com/add/brycecraww  Twitter 👉 https://twitter.com/ibrycecrawford #christianity #christian #Jesus #BryceCrawford #christiantiktok #christianvideos #holyspirit #Jesusheals #viral #christianvideo #venicebeach #evangelism

What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryce. And in today's episode, have another amazing special guest, Nala. Nala Ray. Thanks for coming on. Wait, is that your real name? Yeah. Nala? That's super cool. She's going to be sharing her testimony. You guys have probably seen her before on the internet, maybe sharing her testimony. So powerful. I already know it's going to be powerful. I don't know her story because I've been avoiding the podcast. So I, I've been. it's fresh to me. Now I'm super excited to talk about it. And then we're going to talk about, I'm not in my merch, obviously.

We're in Nala and her husband's new clothing brand. We'll talk about y'all's organization too towards the end and y'all's heart. Because when you were telling me a little bit about it on the phone last week, I was super encouraged. Wow, that's awesome. That's the whole point about it. I'm super excited. But let's like, let's talk about what it was like growing up. Where did you grow up?

What state? What was your family like? Did you know about Jesus? kind of like tell me a little bit about that. Yeah, so I actually grew up in Illinois, like a really tiny, tiny small town. Um, my family dynamic, I'm the middle of five children, so a total family of seven. And, you know, we weren't Christians, especially when I was a kid, but we traveled a whole bunch because I was homeschooled. And so, uh, yeah, we traveled a lot in a camper just like kind of see a lot of America, I guess, as a family. Um, and it sounded all like great, you know,

like as a kid kid, like it was, it was pretty fun. Um, and then I, guess like a couple like when I was nine my um dad cheated on my mom and then they got divorced for two years um and so he left he completely left the picture and moved to Mexico so we didn't get to see my dad for like two years and we all like all of us kids had no idea why like we were just like oh my gosh my dad is gone now he's not in the picture anymore and then so slowly after that um my dad started reconnecting with my mom again supposedly like they fell in love again and then they remarried two years later. So it was a really crazy story, but like a happy story for us kids because we're like, oh great, mom and dad are back together again. So at that point, I was like 11, almost 12.

My dad shortly after that started getting into ministry. And like we started going to church. And then very shortly after that, he became like a Baptist pastor. We were pastoring like very tiny churches, like maybe total of like 45 people in a congregation. Yeah. And so, and that was was also in tiny small towns in like the south. And there was, we went through three like pretty big church splits. I couldn't tell you what the reason was for those like church splits. Honestly, I really don't know. But it definitely felt like one divorce after another.

You know what I'm saying? Because you continue to like get to know the people of the church and start to love them. And then all of a sudden, like you're seeing this side of them that wasn't there in the beginning like fighting, arguing, like disagreeing with your family. And then all of a sudden wanting your family out of the church. So yeah, it was pretty hectic as a kid as like a younger preteen. So what was your dad's behavior before the original divorce? And then afterwards, like, did when he, when your mom and dad got married,

was he like getting into Christianity when that or like did he just come back out of the blue out of two years? And he was like, oh yeah, by the way, I'm a Christian. I'm about to do ministry. Well, before they got divorced, there was no sense of spirituality before that. like none whatsoever. We never attended churches or anything like that. So it was just like doing our own thing as a family. But then after that,

he like slowly started getting into ministry, like slowly going to church, slowly started bringing his family into church. They got married in the church that we were going to at the time. It was a Baptist church. And then we left that. And that's, I was going to Christian private school at that time,

very tiny, tiny school for four years from like eighth grade, no, fourth through eighth grade. And then we went, right back into homeschooling. So he was already pastoring churches and stuff and we were traveling to other churches so he could be the pastor of it and stuff like that. Oh, so it wasn't like super random. No, it didn't feel random at all. It was just kind of like, it kind of all of a sudden we started becoming spiritual. But then after that, we were going to church and he said he felt a

calling on his life to be a pastor. So, you know, we just had to support him. So interesting. Well, one of my friends, he, uh, same, I don't know if you guys know Todd, white. But he was sharing his testimony with me one time. And he was talking to me about how his wife was trying to leave him at one point. And so he would say like to his kid at the time, oh yeah, go tell mommy I'm a Christian. So she'll come back to me. But he wasn't really a Christian. And so that's why I asked that question because I feel like so many people are in like a position where maybe someone want like their parents or someone in their life will say, oh yeah, I'm a Christian. Like I'm good. Like someone might be even in a dating relationship.

Right. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm a Christian. Like, we're good. And then they're not really. So that's why I asked if there was like some sort of, I don't know, hidden motive. But you guys seem like it because like they were married first before they got into Christianity. Gotcha. Again, for the second time married. And then slowly started being in the church more and more. And then that's when my dad felt the calling on his life to be a pastor. So, like, as a kid, like when he was pastoring, I couldn't tell you one sermon that I remember or anything like that. I just remember like all. of us kids were like had to do things in the church like we have to show face for the church you know we have to be there super early in the morning greet people as they're coming in be on the worship team be in sunday school like leaders of all these little tiny things like there was a puppet class like we had to be involved in that because again we're the pastor's family stuff like that you know and it just felt so forced it wasn't like i actually want to be here i actually want to do this this is like my dad and mom are telling me to do this i have to do this whoa and that went on from eighth grade through high school he was pastoring churches a fourth no i'd say i was

in fifth or sixth grade to 18 years old okay so so what was high school like for you then so you get i was homeschooled and homeschooled so you i guess you didn't really have like uh uh uh crazy high school i didn't have friends i was just my siblings you know what i'm saying um being at home a lot i started working a job at 15 um i wanted to be out of my house i wanted to be out of my house so bad like I hated my environment I felt so alone and so isolated and just kind of like a caged bird you know and I just wanted to leave so bad because again it just felt like we have to do all of these things and then I had my first boyfriend when I was 16 he was going to the church he ended up like was just crazy and like slash the tires on my car and stuff we had to go get yeah we had to get a restraining order

against him and his family because they were just horrible people. And so, like, that was my first, like, dating experience. It's a very intense dating. Intense. It was horrible. It was absolutely horrible. But, yeah, so much in my life just changed constantly. And then, like, the hurt from my parents going through those church splits and there were still trust issues from the cheating. And, like, that carried out through their relationship. And, like, they, I, in my head, in my opinion, it was never shown that like this was a really good healthy relationship. Me personally I wish they would have stayed divorced. Like I feel like they weren't really meant to be together. Like that's great that you popped out five kids. But after that like what about us? What about our mental health? What about

our lives? You know, we were just shoved into the church and like expected to do things for them. You know, like little workers, you know, instead of actually wanting to be there. And like they didn't really care about our spirituality. Like they never checked in on us about how we're feeling or if we had questions. It was just show up. You know what I'm saying? And it sucked. It really sucked. Whoa. So you go through 18 years old, all high school, no friends, nothing really. When you're transitioning out, like you said something that was really important to me. You were like, I want to leave my environment. Do you think that was the call, like that over time feeling was from all the church splits, like seeing how people were reacting. The Christians were

reacting and your dad and mom feeling like you had to play church all those things was that kind of like the ongoing maybe hardened heart towards Jesus because I'm like if this is Christianity if this is what it's like having a relationship with God I don't see the benefit in it like what is what is God doing for us like when our family's crumbling you know and then we just keep getting excluded from church after church so I'm like so why aren't we welcomed anywhere? Why does like being in my own home not feel welcoming? You know,

so I'm like, I just want to leave. You know, so I started working at 15, started working so many hours and just trying to get a car. You know, so I bought my first truck and I was like, yes,

I have some freedom. But then even that, like my parents were like, you have to be home in a certain time, which is a very normal parenting tactic, you know, like giving your child like curfews. But even so like that like want to leave

just kept great. growing and growing and growing. So at like 17, I started like sneaking out of my house at night, like like super early in the morning like 2 a.m. And coming back at like 5 a.m. And just like meeting boys or trying to meet people because I felt so sheltered. Like I'm not meeting anybody, but church people. You know what I'm saying?

And I was just like, dude, I don't even feel like I get to be a kid. I just have to meet with old adults at church. And that's it. You know what I'm saying? It just felt like my life sucked. That's what it felt like as a teenager. I don't even feel like I had a teenage years or even like a kid years. You know what I'm saying?

Right. It feels like it all left. And it went by so fast. And I don't know. I just, I wish it was different, you know, so badly.

Yeah, I can definitely understand that feeling of, I mean, there are things definitely in my life that I totally wish I was different. And then at the same time, like there are these small moments that I have with people or in circumstances that I go, I don't know if I would have. reacted that way if those bad things didn't happen to me. Wow. You know what I mean? Like I'm like,

second guessing things. Yeah, yeah. Like I don't give you wrong. I definitely have those moments. I'm like, dang, I wish that never happened or like I went through this awful thing. Like, why did that? And then, but then there are those like small moments or the people that normal people can't reach, but I can reach because I went through it. Right. And that feels so powerful. I feel that way with my parents a lot. Like, you know, if if my dad wanted to cheat in all my mom, kind of like that hurt wouldn't have never been there to for to begin with and like fester it really like they didn't receive healing from that experience so it really carried on throughout their marriage and so i'm like dang if he would have never done that to to like our family and left

because like when you're a kid and one of your parents leaves like is no longer present in the home it damages you so much because like you're missing that other half that's supposed to be helping you in life and then you you're you're you're missing that other half that's supposed to be helping you in life and then you now feel kind of like you're on your own. And that's like, it's like a really scary position to be in as a kid because you just have so many questions and you want love. Like as a kid, like that's really all you want is your love from your parents. But then my mom went through a really big like depression stage like while I was homeschooled

and went just like stay in her room for days on end. And if she did come out, she was just like, look like she'd been crying, hasn't been eating kind of thing. And then like you're just like, oh, what do we do now? Like you're my teacher too. like I need help on school work, you know. So. That's hard. Yeah.

So were you not really close relationship wise to your dad or mom because of? I mean, I'd say I was a little bit more. After my dad came back, I wanted to build that relationship with my dad again. I missed him so much. And then like we did kind of have a better relationship than with when I did like with my mom. My mom and I haven't really ever had a good relationship, which I do hope it changes. Right. But my dad and I got pretty.

close more so in my 20s like when I started only fans whoa oh my gosh so okay so you're 18 graduate high school homeschool did you attempt to go to college I did yeah I wanted to be a dental hygienist where'd you go to school uh SCF in uh Florida so yeah they like three locations and how long did that last well I went for two years oh okay yeah so but then I just didn't complete my major I dropped out because I got a job in orthopedics okay and I I really like the medical field. So I was like, cool, I have my big girl job. I have benefits. Like, I don't really need to continue in college. Like, yeah. Because I was full time in college and that was so much work. And I was paying for college out of my own pocket. It was very expensive.

So I was like, well, if I want to go get my own place, I need to quit college and I just need to work full time. So I did that. And I felt a lot of freedom in that. Like I finally got my first apartment. Well, I feel like an orthopedic job. Like, you, I mean, you just said it yourself. You're like, I got a orthopedic job. I stopped college because my job was good and had benefits. Right. So most people would be like, yeah, I'm just clean living. I don't need to go to college anymore. Yeah, like I don't have to do anything. Were you, were you making pretty good money? Like pretty decent, like 3500 a month. Well, I think it's pretty good. And so, so you were doing that. Okay, keep going. I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm just like, dang. Like, like that, I feel like not a lot of people get that circumstance in college. I agree. I agree. But I worked for like two years in that job. Okay.

I just, I noticed that I wasn't being promoted at all. Like, they gave me some more responsibilities like as in like helping hire and stuff, but I didn't get paid more for it. So again, like I was like, okay, like if I need to like stick this out a little bit longer to potentially get a raise, like I'll do it. Because I'm like a really hard worker. I'll pour my life into my work because it's like distracting. You know what I like that.

So I worked for two years there. And then that's when the opportunity for only fans came along when I was like 20, 21. And where did that come from? Where did that opportunity come on Instagram messaged me and was like, hey, you'd be great for OnlyFans. I had no idea what OnlyFans was. We were just about to get into COVID at that time, like 2019. So just about to hit it. And I had no idea who this guy was.

I had no presence on social media, like maybe 10,000 followers on Instagram, but no other platform was on like nothing else. So I was like, huh. So I did some digging, found out what OnlyFans was. He told me some of the benefits of it, told me that I could make a bunch of money off of it. And I was like, oh, okay, like, well, what do you do? Just like sell pictures. Like, what, like what? And he was like, well, yeah, you can do anything on there. Like, it's a subscription based website. So I was like, oh, okay, cool. So I started doing that, but I started off completely just selling, like, really promiscuous pictures of myself and like making some custom videos, like talking to one of the

subscribers. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Like, and I started making wicked money so much so that in my first month on OnlyFans, I worked so hard towards it, started a TikTok, started a Facebook, and then like started promoting it like crazy. And then I made 87 grand that first month. Oh my gosh. You made more, you probably made double like two years of your orthopedic salary in a month. That's what I thought. I was like, oh, I'm quitting. Like I'm quitting this job. You know, like, I was like, that's crazy. That's intense. And so was this guy like, I mean, I know like a little bit about like, I don't know anything like you do about that side of industry. But I know when I first moved to L.A. They're like only fans managers. Is that who DM'd you?

No, he wasn't. He was just so on only fans, I don't know if it still has this, but you can refer people. And if you refer a person and they make good money on there, you get like 3% of what they make. Gotcha. So it was just out there to like recruit and make mad money. Gotcha. I never recruited under him, though, because I thought he was scamming me. So I never recruited under him. So unlucky for him, he lost out on a lot of money. Whoa. So, okay, so first month, $80-something,000, that paycheck hits your account. Right.

Is that what motivated you to do more? And not even do more, but like, I was like, oh, I can stick with this. So a couple months go by, I'm doing the same thing, but I'm not earning more than that. So, but like what kept coming in was like request to do more. Like, not like even just porn, but like other kinds of videos. And I was like, oh, well, you know, like it's okay with me. Like I don't know. I just felt like I could do it.

And I did it. And it started to really increase my revenue. And so again, it's just like this tier. You know, they're asking for stuff. It's like supply and demand. Like they're asking for me for more and more and more. And at this point, I've already gone so far. why not take the next step it's such a slippery slope because if you're like oh well i've already done

nudes so like they've already seen me naked like why can't i just do a video nude you know what i'm saying like what's the difference yeah again it's just a slippery slope so then you continue to compromise to what your customers want and you make more money off of it and how what was the highest month that you had almost 400,000 oh my gosh and that was like Was that a consistent number that you were seeing every month? My consistent, consistent number was 230,000 to 300,000 a month. That was like the most consistent I was. Oh my gosh.

And like, I guess like another question I have is, you know, they're requesting all of the stuff. You have no grid for anything going on. You're just kind of listening to the people. Like where like they're requesting bigger stuff. All right. You're you're selling nude pictures. they're like they're wanting you to do porn all of this other stuff i mean like i guess my mind is like how did you even get into that realm of it when you didn't even already know what you were doing first

like where people reaching out to you or like you know i you know what was happening was i was like very starved for attention and like i like being noticed so for me it was a big insecurity thing and they would compliment me like nobody would. You know, obviously it's not the right kind of complimenting, but it was still complimenting. And I was like, I'll feed off of that. So I continued to take it. And now I didn't start porn until,

so my parents found out that I was doing only fans. And at that point- How many months into only fans did they find out? Like seven months in, they found out I was on only fans. And how? So my dad found out because at the job he was working at the time, Um, his shop guys told him that I was on only fans and that they'd seen a video of me. So he calls me and I was like, well, I'm not going to deny it.

Yeah, I'm on only fans. I'm making this much money per month. And he was like, oh my God. And then one thing my dad told me was he was like, well, if I was your age, I'd be doing the same thing. So that's how he found out. And then my mom, I was out at dinner with my parents one night. And the waiter comes up to me and is like, are you Nala Ray? And I was like, oh, God, like, no.

And it's hard because I'm like bright red hair in a small town. So like all my mom did was Google that and she just found everything. So she wrote me a really nasty email, like not even like talking to me, just like wrote me an email and was like, like, this is not what God has for you. Like really condescending. Like I'm really disappointed in you. Like I can't believe. you quit your other job, blah, blah, blah. So, because at the time I was just lying to them.

Like, they think that I'm still at the other job. So, and now they don't know. So the people that birthed you that were claiming to be in love, your mom says, nod it. But the person that she claims to be in love with says, dang, if I was your age, I'd be doing the same thing. So this is the crazy part. My mom did not know that was my dad's response.

Because when we met up in person the day before I moved to California, my dad had to act like he was disappointed in me. So my dad and I had a relationship at that time. My mom and I did not. But in front of my mom, my dad couldn't act like that because then he would be in trouble. You know what I'm saying? So I protected him and was just like going along with his spiel towards me. Like he was like being condescending in person because he was around her. But on the inside had already said that to me. You know what I'm saying? Did he ever say any more stuff to you encouraging him? Or maybe like did you buy him stuff with the money? So I'm not. I used to send my dad money, like over like $200,000 worth of money.

Like in total, you sent him over $200,000. Oh my gosh. Yeah, over months. Like, because ever, when I moved to California, my dad would call me. Like, the only one in my, my family I spoke to was my dad. And so he would just call me. And it was like, every time we got on the phone, it was like, hey, honey, like, I'm really struggling right now.

Could you, like, send me some? Like, I just really appreciate it so much. Or, hey, like, my other two siblings were going through, like, some. lawyer cases like one for a kid and then one for a divorce and like I was just like here yeah like take the money bro like here take it but like I just wanted a relationship with my dad so I didn't see what he was doing was like wrong yeah and for me I was just like you know I can support him like I'm making good money like why why shouldn't I but my none of my family knew that that money was from me my dad was telling him it's just from him whoa so like that really split my family too of like not

liking me and all that stuff because they they just thought I like left and like said peace out. Yeah, and really load of money. I'm funding their lives, you know? So that really hurt my feelings a lot because then my dad said, my dad specifically told me like, hey, if your mom found out, she'd be so sad. She'd be so disappointed if she found, if you if she found out like I was sending money and not talking to her. I'm like, well, what do you want me to talk to her about? Like she, she clearly, she made it very clear to me that she doesn't want to talk to me. So like, why would it disappoint her even more. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So it just didn't make sense, but I just kept letting it go and letting it go. Um, but yeah. So aside from him helping your siblings and asking

for money, like, did he have some sort of addiction that he was fueling with the money? I don't know. Like, you know, I don't know. I know my dad was on like steroids and stuff and my mom didn't know about it. Um, my dad liked buying guns like stuff like that. Yeah. Um, but that gets into our later story. Whoa. Um, with him. But yeah. So intense. So how long did you do OnlyFans for? Five years. Five years. And in total, how much money did you make over the courses?

14 million. 14 million dollars. See, this is the, okay, so this is the thing that I needed to explain to people. So $14 million grossed, right? That is like the money I made OnlyFans is 14 million. So off the top, OnlyFans takes 25%. So you make a net now. That's much lower.

It's probably down to like, $9 million. So then on top of that, I worked with an agency who was like pimping me out, basically. They're like making you more money. Making me more, making them more money. But like they were chatting to my people for me. Like and they took a big chunk of that. So like 40% off of every, off of my net now. Yeah. So they took 40% off. And then I was living in California and you know how expensive California is. Just state taxes alone. My first. year were 70 grand just state taxes not even anything else and I was like whoa so then you have california taxes that come into play right and then whatever's left I get so it goes through like

three tiers of big chunks being taken off and then it's like here's the rest and what was the appeal to move to California I mean what was out there like working with influencers like and I really wanted to be as far as possible away from my family like you mean working with influencers on only fans Like only fans and TikTok and like because I was really getting big on TikTok at that time. So I was just like, oh, and I just wanted a new atmosphere. I was like I knew I could get more work done. I knew I'd feel like I'd probably be somebody there. And I kind of was.

Like I lived in a $4.3 million home. I drove a Porsche. I could rent any exotic car that I wanted. I had any designer bag that you could think of like from all over the world. I went traveling all over the world by myself. Like it was like the life, you know? Yeah. That's so intense.

Five years, $14 million total without anything taken away from it. Now, you have an amazing husband. I do. He's awesome. So at what point in those five years did you guys meet? And how did that go down? So it was back in 2023. We met in the end of September.

I was scrolling through TikTok and he was live battling. He had like a bulletproof helmet on. he had his like four level plated vest on and he was like battling so like a battle is like split screen between two creators and they're like you know going for as many points as possible and so i jumped in his life i loved his energy he was like throwing his chair saying like pop pop and dude i was obsessed i was like i love this guy's energy so and i didn't think anything of it so i just started sending gifts and we won that battle and i was like oh yeah and i'm very competitive And so is he.

So we were just like, yes. Like it just gives you like a dopamine rush when you win a battle. Like I'm telling you, it's crazy. So shortly after he just messaged me on TikTok and was like, hey, thank you so much. I was like, yeah, whatever. You know, like he doesn't know how loaded I am. Like I'm just like, whatever, bro. I just did it for like the fun of it.

And then I saw he was live the very next night. Did the exact same thing. Won multiple battles in a row. Like send in big gifts. And then. he reached out to me, sent me his phone number. I sent him my phone number. I didn't think anything of it.

So then the next night, I get a FaceTime call from him, and I'm outside like Boostaffing. And I'm like... Bowstaffing? Yeah. What is that? Like, you... It's like a big stick that you swing around and do ninja moves with. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay. So I'm obsessed with Boe staffing. Cool, cool. And he facetimes me, and I'm like, why is this guy facetiming me? Like, this is so weird. Like, I didn't want to talk. Like, I was just gifting you. And so I pick up the phone.

like out of breath and he's like hey i was like hi like what do you want like what's up and um we just started talking we stayed on the phone that night for like nine hours just all face time like he doesn't sleep and like we just stayed up so late just talking asking each other awesome deep questions and i felt like such a connection with him and like it wasn't even about liking each other it was like i didn't have any friends in california like i i know you know how fake it is, but like on the other side of that, when you're not a Christian, it is just as fake. Right. And like, you just feel like everybody like wants something from you and like nobody's actually there for you. So I didn't have like any friends and we continue to talk on FaceTime the next

week, week and a half, like continued those awesome talks. And I don't know, it really blossomed and like we just became like best friends. And so like a month later, we decided to meet up in Nashville with some other friends like other TikTokers. And, and, like, we just became like best friends. And so like a month later, And we just like met for the first time in person. Like obviously we're like, dang, he's cute. And she's like, he's like, dang, she's cute. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, but nothing happened.

It was like, we stayed in two separate hotel rooms and we just like got to go out in person. He's the exact same as he is like online as he is in person. I love that. Got this like country twang. And I was like, dude, I grew up in the country. So I love that. And so I don't know. We clicked and continued to click.

But then like I told him, I was like, You know I'm on Only fans, right? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know if you know about that, but like I am. And like so in my heart, I was like, you know, if he's going to be done with me, he needs to know this. Like he needs to know this and so I don't get hurt, you know? And he's like, well, I don't care.

So, and we just continue being friends. And later on he had some questions about it. And I know it's like a hard territory to like go through. You know, because like if someone doesn't know who Only Fans is, like what Only Fans is and he's not on that side of the internet. Right. Like, it's a pretty broad world. Like, it's pretty.

crazy. Like the permiscuity of it is wild. So I don't know. We started talking about, you know, liking each other and he made it very clear to me that he wouldn't date somebody who's on only fans. And I was like, no, that's fair. That's fair. You're a Christian. But the one thing that Jordan did from like almost day one was like texted me Bible verses. And he would outright speak. He was very open about Christ with me and just like always telling me like, you know what? God has a better purpose for your life and you're so much more worthy than this. Like just speaking so much love over me, like God's love over me. And it was like, I'm just so thankful that Jordan listened to that call from God.

You know what I'm saying? Like he was the one planting the seeds when nobody else was, like not even my own family. So Jordan just continued to plant those seeds. And in December, that's when I decided to give my life to Christ. I was like in my living room all alone and I was like staring at my fireplace and like this memory will be burned into my brain forever. Like just staring at the fire, sobbing. And like sobbing was a really abnormal thing for me because I didn't feel anything. I was like heavy pot smoker at the time.

So I was like numb. Like numb to the bone. So like I don't know. Like I was staring at the fire crying. I was like God like you need to tell me something. And my Bible was out because like the week before I was cleaning out the shelves and I found my Bible from 2009. And so I just started looking through it and there's all these highlighted passages and like writing all over the Bible. And I was just like, God, you need to give me something because I have nothing right now.

And then God just like so openly spoke to me and was like, I was all you ever needed. And that answered all of my questions. Like everything that I was like, why, why is my materialistic thing bringing me nothing? I feel no love. I have nobody in my life. Like, why? He was just like so peacefully, just like, I was all you ever needed. And again, like that just answered all my questions that I had.

And I felt so peaceful. And I didn't get saved right then and there. I just knew that I heard from Christ. And so from there, like my heart really started getting softened. And I really started getting convicted. And I didn't know how to deal with all of that. But like that Sunday, I talked. told Jordan what had happened that night. He flew into California. We went to church that Sunday

together and I got saved and I got baptized at that church. Fearless? Yeah. Was it fearless church? Yeah. Downtown, LA. Yes. Fearless church. So that's where I got baptized and saved. And it was, it was an incredible experience. Whoa. Well, I mean, first of all, like, dude, that's awesome. I mean, I think, I think like you being able to pursue Nala and friendship and speak life over her is such a powerful thing. And then it turned into more than your initial intentions. That's super cool. But that's lit. And I think it's so cool, too, because I can't even imagine, you know, that night in December that you're steering of the fireplace, how you viewed yourself.

You're like, man, I was numb because I was a pot smoker. But I'm also, too, thinking, like, how numb were you to? the way you viewed yourself because, I mean, you said it like, yeah, I liked attention so I was getting compliments, but those were, you know, those were not good compliments. So I can't even imagine how numb you were to viewing yourself, loving yourself, not of a prideful way, or just like seeing your own value. Well, like, I completely thought that I was never going to get married. Like, I was like, I've chosen this life and like I know that like a good, respectful man won't want to marry me and like everyone outside of that I don't want to marry like other than a

good respectful man so I'm like I'm just not going to get married I won't have kids I guess I'll just be this rich old woman you know what I'm saying like I was completely okay with that rich old woman yeah like that's all I thought I was like well you know maybe I'll just have my fun in this life and that's about it well because your well your parents didn't accept you or your dad did but he really just accepted the money and then your mom's just like yeah I don't accept you so you just assume that no one else would accept you. I did. So December, you get saved, baptized. January of 2024. 2020. Comes around. So what does that look like now? You're saved? So I'm saved. Jordan asked me to be his. Okay. Well, first, what happened was, you know, after Jordan had told me,

like, he's not going to date somebody who's on only fans. I'm like, no, I completely agree. Like, you shouldn't. Like, that's, that's not right. Um, so for me, like, God had been convicting convicting my heart and I'm like oh I have to get off of only fans like I spoke to his mom his mom was such a prayer warrior for me in that time too and I spoke to her about it I was like like you know like my heart is like waving right now like I don't know what to do because like this is my only form of income I'm really scared like what do I do you know and she walked me through like this like all of these like kind of options you know and she was just like you know no matter what you do you know like God loves you but you can't keep this door open of sin.

Like it's literally, it's taking you further away from Christ. And I was like, ah, got it. Because you know, sin separates you from Christ. God never left us. Like,

we left him. So I was like, okay. And I just continue to see this image on my head of this door of like black behind it. I was like, I got to shut that door. What is that door?

It's only fans. So after I spoke to her, I, like he was at the beach. I drove to find him on the beach. him on the beach and I just outright told him I'm deleting my only fans like and it was like this joyous moment like it was like oh my gosh I'm free like I felt free and I was like no way so and deleted my only fans um and then very shortly after like a week and half after we were like

in a dog park and he just asked me to be his girlfriend and I was like oh that's so cool so cool to like just be gifted things like by Christ, you know what I'm saying? Like, at that point, I love Jordan. Like, I was like, dang, like this man has helped me through so much, has been there through all of this hard stuff. And at that point, what happened was like my dad stopped talking to me because what I told him, like, hey, I told him I was quitting Onlyfans and like I got saved. And he's like, oh, well, that's great. But you should stay on Onlyfans at least another year and a half because you need to make yourself comfortable. You know, like this world's expensive. And I was like,

the heck are you kidding me like did you not just hear what i said like you know so well because in your mind he's like you you came back to our family as a pastor but now you're telling me to stay on only fans in reality maybe he was trying to look like the savior of the family providing all the bread on the table because you're sending it to him because what's crazy is through that situation my i was talking i started getting in more in contact with the siblings like my siblings and they started telling me that Like I was like oh hey by the way I was the one who gave those those funds and they were like no way like and but then like the numbers didn't add up as far as like as much as I had given him the numbers didn't add up to what they got. So like my dad was like pocketing most of it. Yeah. So long story short like we found out once again my dad was cheating on my mom through that situation and they started. like divorcing like they they started the divorce process again this was like seven eight months ago so it's crazy it's so rad crazy but um through that divorce process my mom and dad got separate houses

and my dad broke into my mom's home not that long ago with like a gun a knife and pepper spray and got sent to jail so he's now like and he had like so many guns that were like scratched off the registration or whatever on it. Oh my gosh. He got even more charges because of that. So he's now like facing like they the sentence was life. So. Whoa.

Yeah. Oh my goodness. That's really intense. I mean, what an attack from the enemy to just be like, oh, you became a Christian? Let me split your family.

Not only that, but I got in a car accident that same week. There were so many things that happened. We were also in. Um, we were in tax season again. So I'd quit only fans. I'm no longer making that money and my taxes were due. And I owed like $300,000 in taxes.

Oh my goodness. Oh my. That is so intense. It was a rough boy. But like how do you, I mean, what, I mean, I, gosh, that's so intense. What was it like leaning and trusting God? I mean, thankfully you have, you know, Jordan and his family. But I mean, you're a fresh, fresh believer.

Little baby. And you're getting hit with some of. the hardest practical problems. I mean, some people might be thinking money on a small scale, but you owe the government more than a quarter of a million dollars, get in a car accident, got to pay for that, maybe insurance goes up. Now your family's getting divorced and then your dad gets arrested. I mean, what did that look like trusting God in that? It was hard, but you know what was crazy? I saw so many blessings through that. Like, I knew at that point, in my head, that was the enemy.

I was like, oh, I get it now. Like, because going through only fans, I really didn't go through much. Like, my life was pretty okay. You know what I'm saying? Like, there wasn't trials and tribulations on only fans. Like, if there was a problem, I paid for it.

You know what I'm saying? But now, like, this is like real life stuff hitting once again. And I was like, no way. I knew it was the enemy. Like, but I continue to pursue Christ in, Other things too, like reading the Bible, worshiping, praying. My prayer life got so much stronger through that time because I was like, wow, I really need to seek Christ right now because the devil is trying real hard.

But I got really convicted also about like my modesty. And I was like, oh, man, I need to go through my, I went through my entire closet. Or should I say closets. I went through all of my closets and just threw bags and bags of stuff away. Like, because I was like, well, I can't, like, like give this to another woman because then she'll wear it and like it's still promiscuous. Right. So I was like, let me just throw it all away.

Right. So like I went through that. I was like I stopped smoking weed. I like especially with my cussing like I cussed like a sailor. So like now I was like oh man I cannot be speaking like this. Like I'm a Christian. I represent Christ like the Bible specifically talks about having a foul language and how it's like it's not what God wants for you again.

So there's so many little things. in my life that really needed to change. It wasn't just only fans. But being obedient to God in all of the things helped me get so much closer to him. And it built my faith so extremely. Like the joy I have inside from like making, it wasn't even making sacrifices towards him.

It was literally just saying no to the world. You know, like, because Dorden said something to me that blew my brain. I was like, he was like, you know, You know, the devil can give you things too, but he has a budget. And I was like, wow. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the devil can give you money.

The devil can give you fame. The devil can give you a lot of things to keep you away from Christ. You know what I'm saying? But God does not have a budget. You know, he is the owner of all things good. So, like, I knew that God was going to bless me through whatever. Because even in the Bible, it says, like, I will provide all of your needs. It doesn't say I'll provide all of your wants, but I will provide all of your needs.

and what are needs, like a house over our head, food in our stomachs, water to drink, those are needs. And if God promises he will provide, he's going to do it. Because otherwise he's a liar and he's not a liar. Right. Absolutely. So you guys start dating in January. You said you got married in March. Yeah, we got married on Easter Sunday.

No way. Yep. We eloped. Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, we got married in our backyard. That is so fun. And that is so amazing. There's a, so there's a specific, the only thing I've ever seen about you on the internet is there was this one video clip.

And I'm going to probably misquote it, but it was definitely when you were in only fans, you were on the whatever podcast. And I think they were grilling you about only fans. And in return, you said something, you might remember what it was. You said something along the lines of like, no one would cheat on me. Yes. But do you know what I'm talking about? But I love cheating video. Yeah.

Yeah. So how does that make like to you now? That was you before. And now you're obviously not that way. You're happily married. I mean, how cool is that? So for me, like I just recently went back on the whatever podcast to clear those topics up. Yeah.

Because if people don't understand social media, let me clear it up for you. It's a lie. Social media is clickbait. You know what I'm saying? Like to get you to watch things, you sometimes and most of the time have to do crazy things, say crazy things, wear crazy things. Like I was wearing ears. You know what I'm saying? Like I was wearing furry ears had like my boobs hanging out. Like I was literally full sending it. I had bright red hair. I was acting crazy. You know what I'm saying? But I knew like I know what it

takes to get viral. Like I've been on social media at this point for years and years and years. I've been on so many podcasts. And I was like for me, if I'm going into a podcast like I'm going to say radical things. You know what I'm saying? Because I know one, I know men's minds. Like, I know that in their mind, if they think I'm going to cheat, they think in some way, they have a chance with me. You know what I'm saying? So again, like it goes back to I just wanted to make money. And that's just using people. So for me, when I see that clip, because it pops up a lot, I'm like, man, I don't even recognize her. Like, I feel so bad for her, you know, but like I'm really good at business like I'm really good at being viral like I'm just really good at it so well I think that I mean I

think that clip seeing that clip now and knowing who you are now so encouraging to me because whether like eat because I just think like that's laughable now you're how you are but I mean it's like what you said whether you meant it or not you were saying those things so even if you didn't necessarily do the things you were talking about in that video clip maybe that's a way that you viewed yourself like quite clearly. I mean, it came out of your mouth. Like, the Bible says out of the mouth, the abundance of the heart. And I'm like, maybe it's not necessarily what you were doing, but it's how you viewed yourself. Absolutely.

And now you're an amazing marriage. And it's so beautiful. And that's so cool. Right. And I think that's, oh, I think that's so sweet. And I think that's true redemption of just like everything that you ever thought of yourself to never happen. God's like, I'll show you something like that. Like, I have this for you.

Like, it's beautiful. That's how I feel, too. It was like such a gift. Again, that was like one of the gifts that God gave me out of being obedient. Like, he gave me a husband, which I never thought I either deserved or would ever have. Yeah. So, like, I don't know. For people out there, I want to spread so much awareness.

And like, I can only speak from like the only fan side. But like, I've seen so many clips from OnlyFans girls saying these wild things, you know? And I'm like, clickbait. You know what I'm saying? Like I was there. I know like they say things. I used to say things to get your attention and for you to subscribe. You know what I'm saying?

Like that was the main purpose and they bite it. You know, the consumers eat it up. Yeah. So like again, whether I said it or not, which I did obviously, me saying it like you still bought it.

You know what I'm saying? Right. And for me, I clearly stated in that podcast that I had been single for almost two years. Who am I cheating on? Right. I was literally. like I'm single for almost two years.

Oh, I like to cheat. I'm like, how does that make sense to you? Right. So I'm like, again, you're not even listening to the context. You're listening to like the hook. Yeah. And you're biting it. Yeah.

Dang, that's crazy. That's so, that's so real though. I mean, like so many people like just want to feel loved. Yeah. And they'll say whatever they do. Use a cry for attention. I mean, I would people please in high school.

You know, definitely not like a degree of saying anything like, yeah, but you know, in high school, I would be two totally different people to two different people in my high school in hopes that if I get both them to like me, then I'll feel better about myself. Yeah. Obviously, didn't work. And obviously, in your case, you recognize it. It didn't even work on a grand scale. And it was, that's intense.

So, okay, so last thing I want to talk about is your company, the nonprofit that you guys are starting to start because I think it's super cool. And I mean, you guys are, I mean, I think it fits in the name. I mean, you were radically changed by God. You're being the change in an industry that doesn't see a lot of pushback. And I mean, I feel like one of the first people to push back. Because like before me, there's not girls talking about their experience on only fans. Like I don't see it anywhere.

So I'm like, you know what? I've got to make a difference with Christ on my side. You know what I'm saying? Like, let's win this victory. Because if I could spread any kind of awareness, it would be do not get on only fans. and to the men do not buy from only fans. Like you're buying a lie. One, you're not even talking to the girl.

So like that's out of the picture. You're not speaking to the girl. I guarantee it because almost every girl is being signed by an agency who is being pimped out by those guys. You're literally talking to like a 30-year-old man in India who's sending you their nudes. Ew. Disgusting.

It's disgusting. That is not okay. So it's a lie. You're thinking you're starting this relationship. with this girl or this guy on OnlyFans and you're not. All they care about is the money that you're giving them. And for like the people on OnlyFans, because there's both guys and girls,

like it's the easiest way to make money, but you're selling your soul to, it's not even to the devil, but you're just like selling it to this, to money. Like you're literally selling yourself to get money. You are a prostitute. You are literally like no better than that. And like,

In that moment, yes, but like there's so much redemption and it doesn't matter who you are or what you have done. Jesus loves you and Jesus will and can save you. So there's nothing like you're never too far gone. And that was such a testimony for me because I'm looking at myself in this like mirror. Like you are not God. You don't even know what I've done. And God's like, dude, I've known. I knew before you did it, you know.

And I still love you. And that was a crazy like that was just. Awesome. But yeah, Jordan and I started this company Be the Change to eventually start our non-for-profit race to change. So because we feel very called to go do mission work. We started sponsoring a kid through World Vision and that was our first kid. He sponsored kids before, but this was my first child, the sponsor. And it like, it made me want to cry. I was like, oh man, I want to go meet these kids and I actually want to go help in person. I have such a heart for kids. And Jordan wants to do like the building of churches, building

wells like all that kind of like manual labor so um that's like the reason behind be the change is mainly because anyone at any time in any industry anywhere in the world could be the change you have to stand up wherever you are and be that change and we're seeing this like small ripple effect going on in all the industries right now not just porn but like the movie industry like someone randomly got saved and it's not proclaiming christ and like big football teams are randomly giving their life to Christ. It's not random, but you know what I'm saying? Like it's out of the blue.

In the music industry, like, it's so beautiful to see God, like, having people all over the world planting seeds in every industry all over the world. And, like, the head marketing director for only fans in Australia just quit her job and gave her life to Christ. Whoa. Yep. That's so powerful. I was like, wow.

That is so powerful. It's amazing. Yeah. So you guys are. So your heart is just to encourage people to not only like say no to the lifestyle of sin, but then begin to walk it out and be a part of the change and bringing people into that lifestyle. And our slogan is like it all starts with you because it does. Nobody can make you do that.

It is a day-to-day walk with Christ, picking up your cross daily and following him. So again, it just starts with you and you could, like if Jordan was disobedient to God, we would not be here. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Like if he didn't obey God to come and talk to me about the gospel and share what God's love looked like, we would not be on this couch right now. So Jordan started that change, which then affected me, which then affected, I've had so many

OnlyFans girls reach out to me and be like, one, how do I get saved? And two, how do I get off of OnlyFans? And what do you do after OnlyFans? Whoa. And so Jordan and I also started a company, it's the Be the Change TikTok agency. So, because I go TikTok live now for work. And so we are, we started the agency to help pull OnlyFans girls off of TikTok and help off of OnlyFans and to get them on TikTok live because you can make a lot of money on that.

And it's good, clean work. You know, you're just talking to friends and family kind of thing. Like, it's really fun. So, yeah, we feel like a really big calling to help people no matter what and not just help. Because like even God says like in the parable like about, you know, if you, you, you, You can't just pray for someone to get food. You need to go get them food. You know, if someone is cold, like, don't just be like, oh, God, please give them a coat.

Give them the coat off your back. You know what I'm saying? So help provide for them. And I think that's, like, really strong message, too. And, like, starting, like, an agency is just helping people get out of that lifestyle and into a new one while they're healing and stuff. Well, I think it's a very beautiful heart behind the organization, everything you guys are doing. Thank you. Test when it's powerful.

It's the first time I've ever heard it. It's just super encouraging. Thank you for sharing and tell me about y'all's marriage as well. It's super encouraging and can't wait to hear more about it later at Habachi. Let's go. That'll be fun. Love Babachi. But yeah, thank you so much for coming on.

I really appreciate it. And thank you guys for watching. If you guys are enjoying the podcast, we're on all platforms, Bryce Crawford podcast, like, subscribe. Guys, check out Nala and their organization, Be the Change. We love you guys and we'll see you guys next episode. Bye.