The Bryce Crawford Podcast - Nicki Minaj Exposes the Dark Truth About the Music Industry (EP 200)

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. It was like constant spiritual warfare. I'm the bad guy, bitch. I'm dressed as a devil. In Nigeria, Christians are being targeted, driven from their homes, and killed. I felt like I bought a knife to a gunfight. Oh my gosh, what did I sign up for?

You think the music scene is very demonically organized? I started feeling like everyone wanted to like stake their claim into human beings. Like, they were properties. Humaneity real? There definitely is a group of people that have made things very difficult for me. Has it been a, you know, a spiritual warfare? Absolutely. When you have a relationship with God, you only care about is God pleased with me.

Who is Jesus to you now? Jesus is... Hey, before we get into today's episode, I want to share two quick things with you. First, if these videos have meant anything to you, if they've encouraged your faith or helped you see the gospel a little bit more clearly, I just want to ask you to subscribe. A lot of people tune in every single week and haven't hit the button yet. It only takes two seconds and it helps us keep putting these conversations in front of people who need them.

And the second thing, this one I've honestly been really excited to say. I'm officially announcing our ministry's biggest live event to date, Open Heaven Live podcast tour. It's happening November 8th this year at the Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory in Irving, Texas. This is going to be a night centered around worship, faith, real conversations, and genuine community. I believe God is going to move in a powerful way and I would love for you to be in the room. Tickets are on sale right now. you can head to Brycecroffer.org slash tour or just click the link in the description below. And please only get your tickets through my official site or that link below.

I recommend not buying from random resellers online. I believe this is going to be a really special night and I hope to see you there. All right, let's get into the episode. What's going on, guys? Welcome back to our 200th episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryson. Today we have a very incredible special guest. I'm super honored that she is sitting down with us.

We have Nikki Minaj with us. Hello. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here. Okay, so before you became one of the most recognizable voices in music, hundreds of millions of people knowing who you are, who is Nikki Minaj? Prior to being Nikki Minaj, I was just a fun kid. I was interested in pretty much everything inquisitive. I was loud. I would say I was a bossy little kid. I like it. Yeah, I was kind of bossy, but always a big dreamer.

You know, it's so funny because always like when you're a kid and you're loud, it's always like a good thing, I feel like. I gravitate towards like the loud kids growing up, you know? I feel like that's such a good thing. So, you know, sometimes when you grow up, people are like, oh, you can't be loud. But I like the loud people growing up. That's just a good personality aspect. Now, when you were growing up before publicly, you said that life was hard growing up as a kid. Can you tell me a little bit about what life was like growing up for you?

In Trinidad, it was difficult. Well, first of all, I didn't feel that it was hard. during the process. Like, because up until I was about five years old, I lived in a house with many of my relatives in Trinidad, and we just got used to so many people in and out all the time. So grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. It didn't seem like it was a small space

until we went back after, you know, years later. But I would say it was a volatile environment. One of my cousins, he would have episodes of just, being violent. And, you know, so he would come back every now and then, and we would have to, like, my grandmother would tell all the children to get in one room and pray. When we came to the United States, it was another sort of a fun, but volatile at times life because just there was, there was a lot of, like, domestic, you know, fighting where we

would have to call the police and stuff to calm things down. So, you know, as a child, I would say, but interestingly enough, around that neighborhood where I grew up, it wasn't out of the norm. You'd be surprised. Like, at that time, cops were driving up and down all day, every day. So we just started getting accustomed to that. We thought that that was normal. We didn't realize that that shouldn't have been happening and parents shouldn't fight to the point where police have to be called. But that was a big part of my growing up. So it was a normal thing for, like, violence in the area. Where did you grow up in the States when you moved?

I grew up in Southside Jamaica, Queens, New York. Okay. And so, I mean, how did that shape you as a kid? It shaped me as a kid. Maybe it probably made me grow up a little too fast to try to have to decipher what was going on. And also a lack of control, you know, feeling a sense of control because you're a child and you can't control these adults,

but they're obviously affecting you in your life. And you can't really speak your mind as a child, even though you're seeing what's going on and you have an opinion. So I would say it made me probably just have lots of thoughts that I would later sit with. And also, I remember being a kid and thinking what I would never do

and things that I would do and how I would be different when I became an adult. Wow, that's powerful. Because, you know, you can put it, you know, for example, extract this example out. You can put someone in a home situation, let's say like they grow up with, you know, maybe alcoholism is popular in someone's family. And, you know, either that person goes, oh, I never want to do that thing ever again. And so they take the pivot or they kind of accidentally absorb that behavior. But you said, no, I'm going to take a stand and not absorb that behavior, which is really powerful.

Well, the behavior that I was specifically thinking that I didn't want to do was I didn't want to be submissive. I wanted to be a woman that put my foot down because even when I was a child, after the fighting, I would want my mother to leave, you know, sometimes. So she would tell us a lot of times that she was going to leave after the fighting. And we would be like, okay, great. But then she would either leave and come back, we would have to come back or she just wouldn't. So I would always promise myself when I became an adult. that I would be assertive. Wow.

So when you say, so I guess what you described makes me wonder, did you witness or maybe experience yourself like a lot of manipulation growing up? And that's kind of you were like. Well, I just thought that I didn't see adults keeping their word. And so it just drove me to want to be someone that kept my word. Now, you mentioned earlier that when you were growing up, your grandma would put you in the room

and you guys would kneel and pray to God. We wouldn't kneel and pray, we wouldn't kneel. We would all be standing up. We would just be in one room. standing up like, well, you know, praying together. Okay. And that was at a very young part of your life. So how has that kind of played a role in your faith today, no one at a young age, kind of that habit of going, we pray to God. Even, I mean, in that time, it was a bad, it was a bad situation. But that habit being built

so young, how has that affected your faith now? It affected everything because it always instilled in me that there was a something bigger than me, bigger than my fears. And that if my grandmother was saying was telling us to do this thing, then it must work. So, of course, it increased my faith. Now, you're in a season now where, which is super encouraging,

you're fighting the current in many different ways, which a lot of people, it's very, very easy to not want to fight the current. A lot of people actually just go with emotion because they're afraid of feedback from any angle on whatever it may be. And as of lately, you've been talking about how Jesus has been a cornerstone to you. You know, how has Jesus been giving you strength in this season of doing exactly what you say you want to do,

standing firm and being a woman of your word? What a relationship with God does is it takes the, it changes the worldly system. And the world tells people that they should care about their validation. Like, they teach people that they should care about the world's validation of what they do and who they are. But when you have a relationship with God, you only care about is God pleased with me. I know that if the Lord told me to do something, I know he's going to equip me with what I need to do it, come what may. So when I see all these people that don't agree with me, it truly does not matter to me.

Like, I wish it could matter so that I can be in their shoes and see, like, and try to be a normal person, but doesn't, well, I'm thinking about is what God already told me. And I know he's going to fulfill his promises to me. Wow. If the Lord put something on my heart, he's going to also clear the path for me to do it. He's not just going to tell me to do something and then leave me stranded. Yeah, that's so good. He's going to, he's going to create a way for me to be able to be victorious when I do it. So whenever I do something, I already know I'm going to because I'm not the one that, you know, decided to do it. The Lord told me to do it.

Yeah. So he'll see me through. That's fire. That's fire. See, that's like one of the hardest things for me. You know, there's like a, there's a passage in Luke chapter 8 where Jesus is like, hey, we're going to go to the other side of the lake. He tells them that that's where they're going to go.

And then they get on the boat and he falls asleep and the biggest storm arises. And like most of those dudes were fishermen. So if those guys thought that they were going to die, that had to be probably an super intense storm. And I react a lot of times as they do where I'm like, where the heck are you got? What's going on? You know, I'm freaking out right now. Or it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then, you know, he wakes up from the big nap and calms. And he's like, why do you have no faith in me? Right, right. And I feel like that is something that I'm so encouraged by because I'm even just thinking about stuff in the past few weeks of my life where, yeah, I feel like God spoke

clearly on something, but me personally, I'm so logically hardwired that sometimes like the faith aspect of trusting God, because God's not always logic. He's not always A plus B or C. He just does whatever he wants. And that is always something that I have a hard time with. So I'm deeply encouraged by that. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you shared that. Because imagine how many people feel like that. I mean, we all feel like that at times. Of course, I've felt like that where it's like logically, God, what are you telling me to do? Because this doesn't make too much sense. And, you know, I'm trying to figure it out with my logical mind.

But so I want people to know it's not easy. It's not something that's easy that, you know, if you don't do it, like, you're bad or wrong. It just means that your faith is still being built, you know? It's just like a muscle. Eventually, when you keep on working that muscle out, you're going to be able to lift things that you never could lift before. That's how faith is with me. So, yeah, you start panicking less. You stop trying to fix things and you stop overthinking.

That's an, I have always done like a lot of overthinking about just things in general. Oh, same. But eventually you start realizing, okay, I can overthink because this is the way my brain works, but I have to give it to God. And once you give it to God, you have to put it down. You have to put it down and leave it there. And if you have to, you know, continue reading the scripture or, you know, playing your music or just doing something fun to distract yourself, you have to just breathe and put it down, give it to him, give it to him and trust that he's going to work it out for you. And you know what I realize every time in my life that I've ever tried to fix things myself, try to help God every single time I learned a lesson again and again, that he didn't need.

help. He did not need help, you know, as long as, you know, you're doing your part in terms of just like trusting and having faith. And of course, faith without works is dead. You know, so you have to, you know, use your discernment on how much to give on any situation. But God doesn't need your help outside of prayer. You know, outside of prayer and praise, don't try to do it yourself because you will do it wrong and then you'll have to do it again. It's not like we're doing God a favor. Right. That's awesome.

You mentioned the prayer, like the prayer and praise. How has compared to, you know, that situation you said growing up, you guys would pray, compared to now, the position that you're in. What does your prayer life look like right now? I do believe in prayer without ceasing. Come on. It's hard to say my prayer life because I believe you're always praying. You know, like I'm talking to God every day.

I mean, I'm talking to God all day. Yeah. about every single thing. So it's not even something that I think about. But in terms of actual taking time, like reading the scripture and reading your Bible and learning more and fasting and stuff like that, I think I can definitely add more time.

I think you could always improve on that. But every day, I pray every single day. There's no day that I don't pray. And now I've been, for the last couple months, I've actually been trying to learn a scripture every day, like read at least read a new scripture every day. And it's been really helping me because so many of the stories that I've been reading in the Bible, I mean, they're so, they're so simple to understand and to apply to everyday life.

Yeah. And I kept on thinking that when I was going to read it, that it would be so far-fetched and the language would be so difficult. And instead, I'm reading it and I'm like happy and I'm like, why didn't I do this before? You know, that's all I keep thinking is why didn't I equip myself with these things earlier in my life. Dang, there's some like psychological study out there that says even the person that the person that reads like four, four times or more a week in the Bible, like their anxiety decreases a significant amount and like their trust in God increases a ton and all of these like, you know, whether it's not just mental health, but whether it's this mental health struggle or this struggle in their life, it decreases significantly. And that's, I love the constant prayer thing. I love whenever my, for some reason, whenever I'm around some sort of body of water, like if I'm in nature, like at the beach or for me, like I have, I just, you just hear him clearly, you know, and his voice is still and calm and it's such a special encouragement.

Did you, did you grow up in church when you were younger? What happened was once we came to the states, things were a little bit crazy, but my father turned to addiction. But then, but he was an electrician in Trinidad. So after some time, which was a true blessing, we met some, like, older women. They started inviting my parents to church, and my parents started going. And my father's life completely changed. He stopped drinking for a time. He started going to church.

And what ended up happening is because of the constant prayer and faith and going in church, and we were in church like three times a week, and all the elders of the church would be praying for him all the time of just praying for us in general. But because of that, he ended up going and getting a great job with MTA, with transit. And he was an electrician with them. And he ended up starting, he started earning a lot of money just by his trade, his electrician trade that he had since he was probably, you know, early 20s in Trinidad. But he had had that when he came.

But without God in it, he wasn't able to, you know, get himself straight, long enough to get the right job. soon as he gave his life to Christ, next thing you know, all of the things that had been taken away from him by the devil and, you know, by the enemy, all those things were given back unto him bigger and better than we could have even imagined. It was a major shift for us as a family. But yeah, we were going to church for many years and we were going to church in Brooklyn. And eventually, I loved church so much. I started going to church by myself. Like I was the only, like once I became a teenager and even my young 20s after high school,

I was like the only person my age that would pop up in the church by myself. I would sit there and listen to the word and I loved it. And I think that's what really made me stand out from everyone else because my faith was so unshakable because I would be getting that food, you know, that spiritual food.

I would be getting that every week. So I was pretty unstoppable. So anything I wanted, I got. You know, like, I was making a lot of money at my age, you know. And I was able to buy this really expensive car at the age of 19 years old. And people were like, oh, you're not going to be able to keep that car. My mother was like, you're not going to be able to keep that car. You're not going to be able to keep up the payments.

And I never missed one payment. I ended up having it until I became famous. Wow. Wow. Yep. So anyway, what I'm saying is I would be going to meetings, and I wouldn't always get the job or get what I wanted, but I mean that I would push myself. I had a lot of drive. So even if I was told no about something, I would just keep one going because I never believe in taking no for an answer. And I always believed in where there's a will, there's a way. I've lived my life like that forever. So it made me always have like an edge up over competition at that time. So even though it was really tough, like at one point, because I was like, well, maybe this is not going to happen at a certain point in my life. Maybe my career isn't going to work. And the Lord told me to give it one more try.

And I told my mother I would give it one more try for one more year. And it happened. You know, I was discovered by Little Wayne, thank God. And then the rest is basically history. You know, there were some ups and downs in there. If I hadn't been going to church and if I hadn't been already praying and fasting and, you know, applying all of those things that I had learned in my real life, I would not have made it at all. You know?

Yeah. Did you ever have a season? in life where you strayed away or drifted away from the faith and came back? Once my career started taking off, first of all, I stopped going to church. Not because I wanted to go to, I mean, I still wanted to go, but it was all of a sudden I was working on Friday nights and Saturday nights. So the last thing I could do was wake up on Sunday mornings to go to church like I used to. And in fact, I used to go to church on Wednesdays and Fridays and Sundays.

But once I started working, it wasn't even someone. something that like made any sense. I was just like, oh, okay, well, I'm not got. I moved to California and I never once went to a church once I moved to California. And the other thing is that people don't talk about and people don't really understand is your relation with God is a very private, intimate thing. And when you go to church, you want to feel like you're in a moment by yourself, no matter how many people are in the church, you want to feel like it's just you and God. Yeah. What happens when you become famous is you're going to church. If you're going to church, if you're go to a church, people will stare at you.

Yeah. And so it takes away the, it takes away that feeling of just you and God. It takes that away and puts you, it makes you feel like you're on display. How can you truly, you know, give what you want to give, what you would normally give if you feel like, you know, you're on display? So a lot of people that become famous, I think they stop going to church because they don't feel that they can be anonymous anymore, you know? Yeah.

You just want to feel like, you don't want to feel like your stage name when you're in church. You want to just feel like it's you, the actual person. Yeah. But it's kind of difficult to do that. When phones, when these cell phones come out, you can't really get that privacy. So even though that's not an excuse not to go to church, but it was something that really made me not want to go. I didn't feel comfortable to go. No, I mean, I couldn't even imagine would it be like going into church.

And, I mean, if that were me, it would probably make me bitter. not necessarily at God, probably bitter at people, you know, bitter unintentionally. It would make me feel frustrated, not even just for your relationship with God, but I can't even imagine, you know, sitting in church where, you know, you're gathering to worship Jesus and you're not doing anything wrong, but then people are looking at you instead of Jesus and they're like, well, what's going on? And you're trying to focus and then that's distracting. So I can't even imagine what that was like.

I mean, do you, with your relationship, would you, Jesus now, how has that solitude with Jesus really helped fuel you, fuel your spiritual journey now and things like that? It keeps me grounded. I believe that being grounded is such an important trait for everybody, no matter what you do. The minute you start feeling like you're bigger than the program type of vibe, I just think that's the beginning of the end, you know, for people. I think it's so important to keep your humility.

I don't think it's possible to be close to God without humility. So whenever you feel like, well, this is what I do. Whenever I feel like I'm losing my humility, I take a step back and I pray and I try to center, you know, because no matter what I have, no matter what I have, I know that, you know, it can be taken away. You know, I strongly believe that, gratitude, humility, and staying grounded are things that have helped me and that help everyone, you know.

And it keeps you, it makes you know, it keeps you closer to God. I had a pastor that used to tell me, you want to stay under the radar where God's wings are covering you, you know, where, and she would, I would be like, how do you do that? Humility. Prayer and humility. So when I would feel myself coming out of that or if I would allow someone to trigger me or if I would allow anger to get the best of me, it would remind me,

I came out of the covering. I have to humble myself again and get back in that protective shield where God is protected me because you can't do both. And obviously, as a rapper, you write really like, you know, braggadocious lyrics and everything is about me, me, me, me, me, me.

And what I have and, you know, you can't go to God like that. Because it would, I mean, I would imagine it would be very crazy for God, for you to go to God being cocky and arrogant telling him who you are and what you got. You know, I would imagine that that would be pretty crazy to God. Yeah, that'd be pretty crazy. And like, what? So when I think of that, I think, okay,

I've gotten out of his covering. I have to humble myself. Remember that I have everything because of him. And then I'll start feeling grounded again. And once I feel grounded, then I think better. I make better decisions. I'm happier, you know. So that's what a constant relationship with God does for me.

It keeps me aligned, keeps me having to realign. myself because nobody you know we're not perfect sometimes you have to realign yourself a hundred times a day yeah but it's worth it you know who is jesus to you now jesus is my lord and savior my best friend my provider my physician lord of lords king of kings the alpha and the omega that is who he is to me. Hey, quick break. Let me tell you about today's sponsor, Upside. Gas, groceries, and eating out are three things we all know add up fast. Even on the tightest budget, there's no escaping them. But here's what you can control. Getting cash back when you fill up, hit the grocery store, or go out to eat with the upside app. The free upside app gets you cash back on gas, groceries,

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I think that's incredible, absolutely. And I know you have been in some powerful rooms and powerful places growing up in many aspects of your life. I mean, I got so many questions on this, but being just in general, in the music scene for a second, do you think that the music scene as a whole, just a broad statement, do you think the music scene is very demonically organized? Is there a lot of crazy stuff that happens in there? Can you kind of tell me a little bit about that? Well, it sure isn't driving people to God. It's, you know, definitely. isn't making people want God more because it focuses on the worship of material things. And we all play a part in it.

I've played a part in it, of course. It's not healthy. Over time, it's not healthy mentally and for the soul, you know, emotionally. I mean, look at all the young people right now that have to grow up in the Instagram era where everyone is, you know, editing and photoshopping and everyone thinks the other person looks like that in real life. And these children, I can't imagine. I always think about this.

I say, these kids are so strong because I cannot imagine having to have dealt with this while I was growing up and, you know, while you're changing, you know, your body, your face, everything about you and, you know, is changing. And then you have to constantly compare yourself to other people. and what does that do to the self-esteem of these young people? Yeah. That's what I care about.

Like, I care about long-term, what is this doing to these young people that have to now grow up in this world post selfies and post Instagram and post, you know, the Photoshop era? You know, what is that doing, you know? And I guess I feel like, a sense of responsibility too a lot of the times because a lot of the stuff that I was rapping about I didn't you know I was I was so young too I didn't realize that there are young people

listening to it and how it could probably make them make certain decisions that wasn't you know really thought out now if I could do it all over again I would have I would have changed a lot of things that I said because I just don't like the I just don't like the idea of thinking that these people will now grow up wanting to change themselves as opposed to loving themselves you know like as opposed to seeing how beautiful they are and realizing how much they have to offer the world just the way they are that's that's what i think that that's what i think is very um demonic about the industry as a whole is that it makes it makes people feel that they're never enough and if you feel like you're never enough, how can you be happy? Yeah, yeah. There's a, my pastor from back at home used this

analogy one time about how, you know, you could go to Macy's and buy a fur coat for like $120. And then if nobody thinks that that code is valuable for paying $120 for, it'll be at T.J. Max the next week for $1999. It's because like people didn't think that was worth paying for. And so many people see themselves that way through the comparison game. Like I think maybe 100 years ago, people I think were marrying within a five-mile radius of where they grew up. And now

like adultery is skyrocketed because there's an influx of options. You feel like you have all these options. Yes. And it's so heartbreaking. Yeah. And so there's this, my pastor would always say, well, what's the price tag that God puts on your life? And I'd never heard a phrase that way.

And he just said, God puts his own life as the price tag on your life. I'm willing to die for you. And I think that's so powerful. Because identity is the hardest thing to understand about Jesus, in my opinion, right? That's like everything, you know, when I'm struggling or I'm getting in my head or I'm the overthinker or, you know, I have so much respect for you saying, yeah, I don't care what people think about me online.

And I'm like, man, the tiniest thing can get under my skin and make me upset or hurt my feelings or make me go, well, wait a second, that's not what I meant. Or wait, you don't know my heart, or wait, you don't understand, or I didn't mean it, you know. And then I start stuttering and falling, get in my head. And gosh, the comparison thing is awful. You're also very young. When I was your age, I would not have been able to do this. Like, I want to make it clear that I think that young people right now are so strong mentally.

Like, it's like you guys have no choice. but to be strong. It's quite natural for someone, for a young person. And when I say young, I mean, even in their 20s, it's quite natural for things to get under their skin. You haven't had a lot of things to compare things to. You haven't had, you know, a lot of times where you're like, oh, I know how this is going to end.

I'm not going to stress that. No, this is the first moments for you guys in a lot of areas of your life. Like you've never seen what happens after social media or after, you know, certain relationships or certain lessons. So, you know, you're going through it in real time. I get it. I can't say just don't care about stuff.

I remember people used to tell me, people are very close to me, they would say, if I was in your shoes, oh my God, you're so lucky. This was when I first got in the industry. They would be like, you're so lucky. If I was you, I would never complain about anything. I wish I had your life.

And they used to tell me that they would not care about comments on the internet. And I knew that to be a lie. And two people, two people that were very close to me had it happened to them and nearly had mental breakdowns. The same two people that were telling me, oh, I wouldn't care if I was in your shoes, when they got a little attention off the Internet and it wasn't good stuff and it was starting to be attacks and the same attacks that I had to endure every day, they got a tiny taste of what I had to endure every day. and they were ready to jump off a freaking cliff. Gosh. You know, so I'm not the type of person that's going to judge someone and say, oh, no, you know, you should care, or you shouldn't care or my way is the right way.

No, I'm the type of person that's saying it's okay and it's understandable that you haven't mastered these things yet. You're very young. You will master it, though. You absolutely will. and talking about it and having other people see and hear because faith comes by hearing these little conversations

it's going to help other young people and that's why we have to speak about things like this we have to let them realize they're not the only ones doubting themselves they're not the only ones hurting or feeling agitated wanting to respond to everything they're not the only ones

but in the long run it doesn't benefit anyone to lash out in anger. Yeah. It benefits everyone to think, think things through first. And trust me, I have had to deal with a lot of decisions that I made in anger. Like, trust me. So I've learned, so when I say these things, I'm saying it because of, you know, firsthand knowledge, firsthand experience.

But I just, I can honestly say that lashing on anger never got me anything. It never benefited me. You know, so then you start, you know, thinking, okay, let me pray on this. Because that's the only way you're going to defeat whatever it is in your life that is weighing you down. Is through prayer. And eventually, and it's, you know, what's interesting. Whenever something's going on in my life and I feel like a little like to the point where I'm fed up or whatever it, however I might feel, I'll read a scripture in the Bible and

it'll be something clear as day to tell me what not to do and what to do. It's like as soon as you ask God for a sign and you open that Bible, he gives you a sign. You'll read something and you'll be like, oh my God, this applies to me right now. This applies to exactly what I'm going to right now. Yeah. I would love your advice on this just through everything you're saying. So whenever I read the Bible, I'm like, okay, Jesus loves everyone equally, but he obviously has levels of trust because he has the 12 disciples and then he has Peter, James, and John, and then he has John, the one whom he loved. And you've been in a lot of powerful rooms around a lot of people just in general growing up, career-wise, everything. How do you know, how do you navigate to know who to trust and who not to trust? It's a great question because it brings a lot of pain and sadness. Betrayal. Betrayal is very difficult to overcome. I wish I could say I have like some sure remedy that works.

You know what? I have to be honest that just discernment, you don't know who you can trust. That's the truth. You only can feel. them out, you know? You can fill them out and you can ask the Lord to reveal them,

reveal their hearts, reveal their motives, and he will send you his, he will send you signs. I don't trust as much as I used to. You know, as you get older, you start realizing, oh, hey, this person didn't deserve my time and this person didn't deserve my trust and this person didn't deserve my love.

You just have to get a lot, very guarded and protect your peace and then just noticing the patterns and dealing with them and not and if you keep seeing the same pattern from someone

stop brushing it off you know because so often I did that like trying to see the good in people when the facts were right there screaming at me but now I'm just like You know what? No, I'm going to base this on their patterns.

What is it that they're showing me with their actions, not through their words? Yeah. And then, you know, it's eventually there's a lot of trust there if there needs to be. But most of the time, it's just a little out of time and gradually and never doing the most immediately. just allowing yourself to be still not rushing into things. I definitely try not to rush into any kinds of business relationships. You know, I try to just take it easy.

So, and eventually, the discernment kicks in. You can sort of start, you can just sort of feel like, hmm, does this person, does this person have good motives or not so great motives? Yeah. Sometimes people come around. you, they don't even know what motives they have. They don't even know why they want to be around you.

You know, there are a lot of predators in this industry. You know, that thing that artists are stupid. So especially artists, you have to have your guard up. I know when I first came in this industry, I thought it was just all happy and fun. And I was just like this fun-loving person. Now I'm like, okay, this is serious. And I have to take this serious. I have to take my life serious.

I have to take these relationships serious. So that's what I've been doing. But really, there's no method. I just say discernment. Like, one day I'll just wake up and I'll feel something about someone strongly. And I'll just know their time is up. Wow. Yeah, I'm one of those people that, and this is like a strength and a weakness.

I'm just like, doors are wide open with trust. You know, people are like, are you the kind of person that lets the trust build or you're someone that, like, gives trust and lets it be broken? and I'm like, I'm definitely that second option, and that can be hurtful. And so when you said that I don't rush into things, I'm like, I'm really bad at that. I think patience is the thing that I need to work on the most. And I don't, for me, I don't mean that necessarily in a business side. I just mean like in general.

I'm like head first into something and then it'll come to bite me. And I'm like, you got to be kidding me. And you would think that I'd learn after about five times making the wrong decision. And I don't. So I think that's really encouraging. It's also a great way to be like an optimistic person, a trusting person, a caring person. It's a blessing to be that way, honestly, because so few people are like that anymore. I definitely think I was like that for most of my life as well.

I don't know. I think eventually you'll know if you have to completely shut it down. But for now, if that works for you, if that keeps you happy, then. go for it. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I'm like, man, I like that about myself. Because sometimes it's rewarding. You're like, wow, I really did. I'm glad I trusted this person. And then other times you're like, wow, that did me really dirty right there. And I feel like, what is it, golden retriever. You know, the golden retriever is always happy. And you could leave the golden retriever for three days and come back and it's like as if that's the first time seeing you. I don't know if that makes sense.

but yeah I just think that's something that I have a hard time with but you mentioned maybe there's a maybe there's a reason why you are like that maybe there's a and look what you're doing with your life now that there was probably a purpose put on your life you know you'll attract certain people that probably wouldn't have normally come to God that will see God in you and see themselves in you and that you know because you are that way you'll probably make a lot of people feel comfortable as well people who probably wouldn't have normally felt come to people who probably wouldn't have wanted to go to church. So maybe God has made you like that for a specific reason. I wouldn't beat up on yourself too much about it for now.

Thank you for saying that. Actually, it means a lot. Thank you. You're welcome. When you were in the industry, I would say in the rise of your career and even as you're going across your career in the industry, was there, well, did you ever just feel like

the industry wasn't what you thought it was? Yes. Was it like right away that you realized that? Or did it take a little while to realize? I think it took a little while because in the beginning and it was pretty much, it was a lot of fun. Honestly, it was, we had so much fun rooting for each other. I thought that that's how it would always be. I thought everyone just roots for each other and really wants each other to win.

And, you know, I just thought the camaraderie was how it was supposed to. be. So it was a beautiful experience in the beginning. I started realizing people are really vindictive in this industry that if you don't, in other words, like I started realizing that if you don't get money with one person or specific people, they don't want you to get money at all. Whoa. And that's when I started realizing like, oh my gosh, what did I sign up for? Because I didn't know that these people would be so territorial over people, you know, that they don't even know that they don't have any claims to.

But that's what it started feeling like. I started feeling like everyone wanted to like stake their claim into human beings. Like they were property. And if you didn't abide by their rules or put money in their pocket, they would actively try to stop you from making money to feed your family,

from prospering in the industry that you love. So that's when another different light bulb went off in my head. Like, what the heck did I get into? Whoa, okay. I got a lot of questions because when you say that they would stop you from flourishing in general, are you saying outside of just the music industry, like they would try to stop from flourishing in every aspect? If you're in the music industry, that's the way you make money.

So everything is kind of the music industry. Yeah. But, but yeah, it would be like if you had a disagreement with one person, instead of that person just moving on with their lives, with their life, and you move it on with your life, it would be like this person would call someone else so that you won't get an opportunity over there. And then that would continue happening.

But not just with me. I saw it with a lot of very talented people that they were talented and maybe one particular person or one particular group of people didn't like them. And because of that, they kind of just got, you know, made to be like almost invisible. Whoa.

I started seeing that a lot. Like, what is going on here? It was like constant spiritual warfare. I wish I would have known sooner that this music industry was such a spiritual experience. Because I felt like I bought a knife to a gunfight. This episode is brought to you by L'Oreal Group.

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Whoa. Without knowing that, without having that information. I feel like, you know, I was ill-equipped for what was a head, and no one had given me a heads up. And I had to figure it out when I got there. So did you just constantly feel pressure to, I mean, in those environments, when you have one group of people that are kind of in control, essentially, there's a lot of pressure put on anyone that could walk in that room.

And you were obviously in rooms like that. So were you ever in a season? Obviously not now. But were you ever in a season where you felt like you had to maybe compromise, boundaries or something like that just to stay in the room? Not specifically. With me personally, I don't feel like I ever did compromise for specific things or like in specific rooms.

But I feel like overall it was a compromise on what I knew to be true about, you know, myself. Yeah. Like overall, I think that the music industry was a compromise and is a compromise. but thank God I can honestly say that no I don't feel that I was ever personally made to compromise like I feel like everything I did I did it willingly and I always I spoke up a lot yeah I spoke up a lot about things and you know maybe that's why I was a bit of an outcast because you know because they couldn't get me to

just go along with whatever you know whatever with whatever everyone else was doing most of the time. I had to really believe it in order for me to do it. This is just on the fore from my eye. I just got to ask, because that is, I am so intrigued by everything you just said. It's fascinating me right now. Is the Illuminati real?

Like, is that, I know people use that label to name like, okay, powerful people. So take that with a grain of salt, like that label of Illuminati, like as a group. Like, are there an actual, is there an actual group of powerful people that kind of control everything? Okay, let me say

My situation is very, I feel like it's very personal. Like I feel that there definitely is a group of people that have made things very difficult for me, but I don't know if, you know, I don't know if they're Illuminati, I don't know what they are. I always was looking at it as if this was a personal issue

that one person didn't really like me and they happened to me in a powerful position and they were able to use their influence to make people go against me. And that because, you know, they couldn't get certain money with me that, you know, they wanted the money not to come to me. I never looked at it as if it was like an entire secret society against me. Yeah. But who knows, you know, it could be.

Yeah. You know, it could have been. Who knows? But, however, it definitely has been spiritual. Now, what they call themselves and what they proclaim to be, only they could tell you that. Yeah. But has it been a, you know, a spiritual warfare? Absolutely.

If anything ever happened, I'd slide for you. I just want you to know that. I would totally slide. You said you want to be able to encourage and uplift young people in a manner, but you've done that the entire time to me when we've sat here. So I think the world of you, I think you're fun. I think you're awesome. Thank you.

I had an awesome time hanging out with you. Did it. Thank you. You will. I would love to pray for you before we close. Is that cool? Yes, of course. Let's do it.

Jesus, thank you so much for today, God. And thank you for Nikki and thank you for our time to get there. Lord, did you just continue to bless her and continue to speak to her like you already do? God, you have given her such profound wisdom already. And would you just continue to increase that in her life? God protect her and be with her and continue to send incredible individuals around her to uplift her, encourage her, sharpen her, and be in her corner. not because they want anything from her, but because they just love her as a human being.

So God, we love you. We thank you in Jesus' name. Amen. In Jesus' name, amen.