The Bryce Crawford Podcast - Sketch Opens Up About Fame, Addiction, and God (EP 194)

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Sketch sits down with me for one of the most honest conversations he’s ever had publicly.We talk about the emptiness that came after fame, struggling with drugs and alcohol, hiding from people, feeling unworthy of God, and trying to find real purpose after getting everything he thought he wanted. Sketch opens up about the pressure of living online, the fear and shame surrounding his past, suicidal thoughts, and what it’s looked like trying to come back to God through all of it.If you’ve ever struggled with purpose, anxiety, shame, addiction, isolation, or feeling too far gone for God, this conversation is for you.Download the FREE Upside app at https://apps.apple.com/us/app/upside-gas-food-cash-back/id1099997174?ppid=e7bbd332-40c4-4b8c-b6db-081461ceeefc and use promo code BRYCE to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas!

I'll bury myself with drugs, alcohol, traveling, eating. I just felt dirty. I've done it all. I've seen it all. I've met everybody. You feel empty. I wasn't happy. I mean, this is a lot of people's dreams.

You'd be surprised out. Like, unhappy you can be with, like, when your dreams come true, if they're not, like, tied to a godly purpose. Like, I find myself not praying because I'm, like, almost, like, scared. Because it's like, you feel dirty. Yeah. So I don't want to talk to anyone. Yeah.

Or him. Are you afraid he's going to get mad at you? Yeah, like I was given something and then probably misused it. Do God's not mad at you when you choose those things over him? It just breaks his heart. He's like, oh, I wish you could, you know you could find it in me instead. I turn away from God because I feel like an hypocrite, like unworthy. You said that, you know, if any of that ever came out publicly, that option A would be to call it quits and take your life.

Did you wrestle with that? What was that like? Something on my heart told me to just go, like, to go live. I just left the camera dark so, like, for three minutes, just so I can, like, pace around and, and let people get in so I could just be, they could just hear the whole story once. I looked at the number, I was like, 100,000 people. I don't have anything written down, so I just confess in my own way. It ripped a shame away.

You don't have to be clean to come to God. Hey, before we get into today's episode, I want to share two quick things with you. First, if these videos have meant anything to you, if they've encouraged your faith or helped you see the gospel a little bit more clear, I just want to ask you to subscribe. A lot of people tune in every single week and haven't hit the button yet. It only takes two seconds and it helps us keep putting these conversations in front of people who need them. And the second thing, this one I've honestly been really excited to say, I'm officially announcing our ministry's biggest live event to date, Open Heaven Live podcast tour. It's happening November 8th this year at the Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory in Irving, Texas.

This is going to be a night centered around worship, faith, real conversations, and genuine community. I believe God is going to move in a powerful way and I would love for you to be in the room. Tickets are on sale right now. You can head to bricecroffer.org slash tour or just click the link in the description below. And please only get your tickets through my official site or that link below. I recommend not buying from random resellers online. I believe this is going to be a really special night and I hope to see you there.

All right, let's get into the episode. What's going on guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryson today. We're with Sketch. Yes, sir. Come on. Thank you for having me.

Dude, thanks for coming on, bro. Yeah, it's been a long time coming. I'm sorry for not entering your text. often dude it's all good it happens I but that's how I am with everyone bro I'm the same way I do way a way better job of keeping in touch with people in person you know then then texting I think I've got like over I get intimidated by text you know I get I've gotten into like a bad spot of not texting anyone I got like into like a scuff with my family recently not like a bad one when they more like they wanted to hear for me

more often or get like me to respond to them and I was like I don't know know part of me like comes like it comes from like a point of like um i don't i'll go i go and bend i'll go like like the benders yeah and then i just won't want to like like reach out to anyone yeah because i don't want anyone to know like anything anything's off yeah oh you think that if you reach out of people people are going to think something's wrong um no if i like respond or something like that oh oh i see what you're saying yeah yeah yeah i wasn't i wasn't uh at all upset, like upset or offended. I do the same thing.

Yeah, I just figured it was... It's been one of my harder things. It's like communication. Yeah. Because, like, I'll get into, like, spots where, like, I'll kind of, like, bury myself with, like, just drugs, alcohol. Yeah. Traveling.

Um, eating, like, letany type of stuff. Yeah. So, like, sometimes you can notice, like, my weight changes like this. and my like that's when you can know if I'm doing okay or from like going through it yeah have you how have you been feeling lately um all right yeah kind of on a bender yeah um yeah um yeah yeah well I don't know why I cry to fuck yes all the time dude you're okay but um I don't know just trying to find purpose I guess yeah and it's kind of hard to find it um so actually when they're on a bender yeah because i was seen by it on the way here

like i just felt dirty and then wearing like a diamond cross chain like doesn't it kind of like um i don't know i was talking about like um my family and friends and like they would tell me like you probably shouldn't wear your chains and i was like yeah but like at the same time i should do what like I've been doing so I can like it'd be more representative of like because I didn't want to come in here dressed like a monk and then act like I was a monk

I'd rather say what's been going on and then because with the streaming stuff like everything happened so fast and I didn't know what I wanted to do it just kind of turned into like a dream job yeah because I've been like I've done it all I've seen it all, met everybody

and kind of like I remember the time when my dad told me when I was a kid he's like our pastor said like to him that the most people like they go or like a lot of people like go to him or like very successful people because like they've seen everything they can do they have access to everything

and then there's just no you feel empty kind of Yeah. And it's kind of how I feel a little bit. Yeah. How long have you been feeling like that? Like a couple years.

Yeah. I just go in and out of like, kind of like feeling good and bad. Yeah. And so I look up to like people like you. Like the Ovalon's like one of the people I really look up to. Yeah. Well, bro, I mean, I appreciate you saying all that. I mean, before we get into all that,

and I know people know you for the streams and the catchphrases and the glasses and all that other stuff. I mean, who do you believe you are right now? Who is sketch? I go in and out of being sketching myself because, like, I don't know. I just don't want to be, I've always been like up and down my whole life. So, like, I tried to just show, like, one side. I don't know. When I started streaming, I was like, what I want to do.

and I was like, I never want to talk about politics or I never want to talk about like, you know, like, I just, I wanted to keep everything fun and just make people be happy. So I just want to show my happy side. Are you afraid that people aren't going to like, almost like, are you afraid people aren't going to quote unquote like what they see if they see every part of you? Well, I just don't want to go live and be on a bend. Yeah, yeah. Um, because like, uh, I don't, I don't know what to compare. Like, I'm trying to think like, like, just, the drinking, the drugs, the, you know, I, smoke a lot of weed and stuff like that.

Yeah. I did a month sober and that was, that was awesome. And then, um, but I leaned on alcohol on it. So that was like not, like, I did, I did clear of weed. Yeah. And that was like the first time I did it since I was like 17 or something. to be like 10 years Wow

So I've been living like Kind of in a fog Wow But um As far as like Who I am Or like What my purpose is

I guess I don't know I guess Testimonies like probably What I think it is But Yeah So I had a conversation

With um One of the band members From Red Clay Strays And he was like Asked me Like what what we

what I thought my purpose was and I was like kind of I told him it was testimony I think and that's kind of I don't know

like sometimes I feel the need to be like perfect or something yeah so that's why like I won't reach out or text back kind of keep things away so like

I can only show the good side. Oh, bro, thanks for saying that. Dude, I mean, I, you know, it's interesting because a lot of people who really have a hard time and struggle the most are oftentimes people that are the funniest, the loudest, the most excited, you know, they're the happiest. And I had awful depression and anxiety in high school and stuff, but I was a big people pleaser. I did multiple sports. Like, I was quote-unquote friends with everyone. and when I look back at some pictures of me, you know,

a football game or doing a sport or, you know, hanging out with friends, it's like you couldn't even tell that something was going on. And maybe you feel it the same way. It's like you feel like people can't tell or whatever it may be. Or like you, like a lot of it's like trying to hide it.

I think, like some of it's like shame. It's almost like, you know, the devil, the devil, that's where I feel like he gets me the most. Yeah. is like with anxiety or stuff like that like i was like just coming here but um i feel comfortable like being vulnerable yeah but like that's why i don't like stream that often like i don't really um stream because i when i'm trying to when i'm doing that i'm only trying to like make people happy and like sometimes it's hard to make people happy when you can't smile yourself yeah yeah

Yeah, I totally understand that. Yeah. So is that a big reason why you were telling me earlier you were trying to stay, like, move more off live and do more? Yeah, I just feel more comfortable, like, in settings that, like, I can control. And then, like, I feel like in a certain way, like, when you go live, like, you have to be able to pivot out of it. Like, because I think some streamers, like, either love it or, like, you like, you like, you're just chasing numbers. Yeah. And that's kind of what I've been doing was, like, or what happened, because it started streaming three, four years ago.

And then, like, you know, I got the car, like, got a Lamborghini, got a chain, got a watch. like all the things like because that's the other things like I'll draw myself on like the worldly things and then you find yourself empty but I've kind of like been more scared to go to like I haven't been to church a long time

you said you were scared to go to church just because you feel the shame is because you feel the shame and stuff yeah probably the shame but also I moved and didn't have like a place where I was familiar with yeah yeah what is your community

and stuff look like where you live right now like do you have a lot of friends and um it's pretty nice i live in austin um i mostly stay home to be honest and then when i when i move around like i have a lot of friends but like i don't hang out with a lot of people yeah and you and you went to uh you went to private christian school growing up is that right i went to a christian school and then i also went to public school okay the private school was like um probably 50 people in the class and then the public school was like 1,200 so I saw both sides of high school Yeah, yeah, I went to a private

Christian school and I think we had like 80 in my grade or something like that. Really? Yeah, dude, it was like 80 in our grade and then... I liked it a lot because some people complained about like, um, from my hometown like both schools complain about it, but I was like I kind of appreciated both experiences

like I would get in trouble at the private school for really. I got, we got in trouble for drinking and uh, It was because me and my friend got a minor consumption charge. At, like, what age? I was probably 16, and I always hung out with, like, older guys at the football team. Because other football team, I was, like, when I was on the private school, it was easy to play with varsity when you had to get the whole team for the whole school to play.

Dude, that's so true. We had, like, everybody on the football team at our school. I know. It was, like, half of you almost had to do. I played D-Line. You play D-Line? Yeah, I played D-Line. Yeah, you definitely didn't want to a private school.

Yeah, dude, I was, like, a big string bean. I was, like, freshman, 14, and weighed, like, 115 pounds. They had me at slant tackle, and I'm next to, like, 6, 4, 280. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. That's funny.

But that's exactly how, like, a private school is, you know, like, But I gained a lot of perspective from it. And then I got like some signs from there. Mm-hmm. Um, a lot of good mentors and stuff like that. But then you kind of like phase phase out of it. And what made you start streaming in the first place? I was bored.

And like I was doing real estate and real estate when like 2020. Yeah, when everyone's in their house. Yeah. What I first did was I was doing, um, I would just post clips in a, I used to like follow war gonzos. And like, I had to clips like of like troop movements like of Russian, Ukraine before it happened. And then once that war happened, like the clips like blew up because like they actually invaded like Ukraine. So you were just making those off of a game and then it.

Well, I was just making those off of like I'll take them from Twitter and I just upload them on TikTok and then. Oh, okay, okay. It got me on the, to the follower amount, like, it was like $6,000 or something like that. Yeah. And then what I did was I started, I started live recording, like, UFC fights. And then I'd get, like, a lot of viewers, and then I get banned. I get a lot of viewers and I get banned. And eventually, I just was like, I'm going to try it one time, like, myself.

And I did it, went live and, like, because the algorithm was, like, hot of, like, getting a lot of people from the UFC fights. Sorry, Dana White. But like Yeah like I like I like I went live at a tiger woods course and I was like playing golf at Tiger Woods thing and like I got a thousand people like immediately And I was like oh I don't know what to do and they all left because I wasn't doing anything so then I found out like it was like that's where like I knew I had to be like hot once I was like yeah like that's kind of where my energy came from in the beginning and then like kind of got tired of it. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the Madden videos are kind of what really... Blew up. It was playing Madden, and I did better when I played with other friends of mine, like Vantes Burfect. He was awesome play with Zach Lewis. Those are people that really, like, that's when I kind of took off. And I didn't realize how big it was. Or it was hard to, like, understand how big it was.

I was like... Yeah. Like, you know, I'd see, like, a Dortman player, like, doing What's Up Brother? Like, I think Bryce Harper did it. Like, like, a bunch of, like, really big athletes. Yeah. And, like, we're doing the What's Up Brother thing. And I just did that.

And that was just from, like, a bong rip. Like, that was, like, I ripped a bong. And I was late for a jinxy stream. And he was like, where are you? Then he showed it. And I was like, what's up, brother? And now I do it all the time. So, and that's, I mean, what was that like the process going from real estate sales to NFL players doing your celebration?

It was hard to, like, conceive, but it was, it was, like, it was really fun. And then, like, I'm trying to think of, like, like, how to explain the process. Like, to me, it was, like, all blur, and I was just living all, all in the moment. Yeah. Is that, like, I would just never, never thought any much of anything. Did it really process it too hard? too hard, you were just like, yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Yeah. Wow. And part of it was like, um, when Faze was a thing, Banks let me stay at his house and that's kind of like would help me too because I was like always out here in L.A. And like, he'd be like, go to the house and like go stream. Like you'd like, you'd make me work pretty much. No, like work for him, but like, work. Like he would make you go stream.

Like he'd make me do like work harder. Yeah. So I was like, like, like, you'd make me like work harder. Like, that helped a lot. That's cool to have a friend like that in your corner that can always sharpen you in that way. You talked about on Theo Vaughn's podcast, you prayed a prayer that you wanted to be happy and travel more. And you said, God answered that. Yeah.

You were in a season of depression, you said? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And that was kind of, I don't know why I was necessarily depressed, but, like, it was just kind of like, yeah, like, well, I'd wake up, I'd rip a bong. Two hours later, I'd rip a bong. then I rip a bong I was just like

I was like just like just I was like just living like a life of being high like in my room and I didn't I wasn't happy yeah and then once everything else happened then I got to where I am today

and it's like the unfulfillingess or unhappiness is more of like no I went and did all that like what what's the real purpose I'm still trying to find that out but Hey guys quick

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routine. Before I even pull into the gas station, I started checking the app. Upside has given back $1 billion to its users. To find out how much you could earn, download the free Upside app and use promo code Bryce to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code Bryce. All right, now back to the episode. When did you first get introduced like drugs and alcohol? Oh, I went to, like, that big public school is, you know, it's just everywhere. Yeah. You know, ripping, ripping, bong was, or getting, getting, like, we was just, like, everyone at our school was doing it.

I went to, like, a high school where it was, like, pretty, pretty big party, party scene. So it was, like, I mean, like, it's, it's, it's, like, everywhere, you know? Like, you go to a football game, there's beer. Yeah. Even on a Sunday? Yeah. Even on a Sunday. true but uh where I personally got involved in it I don't know like probably like

15 was probably the first time I drank first time I smoked was probably 17 mm-hmm and the smoking one was the hardest one to kick yeah but then I'll go in bed there's drinking in drinking yeah it's just sometimes it's like I don't I don't know why I do it like maybe it could be just habit or do you like do you like the feeling or like what would that was my next question was like what about it is it's probably it's probably the like I just vote will feel uncomfortable around around people unless like I'm inebriated or something and I don't know what that comes from maybe it comes from shame or like anxiety or like what are they

thinking of me like what what do they think of me and it's easier to to know myself than to yeah think think of it kind of masks that Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally understand. And it makes me more social. I mean, I'm pretty social right now, so I don't know what. I know. Dude, you were so awesome walking up to our studio and being so kind to the guys and talking of like, yeah. Thank the world of you. Cool crew. Oh, thanks, man. Thanks. You're just a sick operation. Oh, thanks, man. The whole operation's three guys, totally. You know, it's like we got a whole, we got a mastermind going out of here. The life in here is sick. Oh, well, I'm glad you like it. Thanks, man. Yeah. We're, we're. We're a whole, we're just a nice man. Yeah. We're. We're We just got this new studio, so you're one of the first maybe 10 people to sit the chair in the new studios. So, that's crazy. Warm it up, put a nice dent in the cushion for the next first. Oh, yeah, that's probably going to, if it smells funny, that's probably for me.

We'll just sell it on eBay. Yeah, the sketch butt cushion on eBay. That might work. When you talk about God answering that prayer, is that through the streaming and stuff that God answered that prayer like I think so because I think my purpose like of him giving me a platform is like maybe to help other people in some way by being open yeah I think that's kind of where my purpose more comes from because like I don't I don't know what else it is because I've I've tried the other the other things like and it's it's definitely not just to sit there and

get hide and play video games not knocking anyone else that does it or whatever like... Or just like... Yeah, like that... What was the question again? Sorry. No, no, you're good.

I was just talking about how you had got to answer that prayer through the streaming and stuff like that. Yeah. You were talking about finding purpose. I think that that's what it is. And part of it is I get scattered brained and like

it's hard to like find purpose when you're scattered. a brain and then you add like liquor and stuff into it it doesn't help what do what do you find yourself praying for the most right now purpose or like sometimes like i find myself not praying because i'm like almost like scared because it's like you feel dirty yeah so i don't i don't want i don't want to talk to anyone yeah or am yeah are you afraid he's going to get mad at you yeah like i was given something and then probably misused it. Like, that's kind of how I feel.

But it's hard to, like, I don't know. It's like, it's hard to, like, find a way to find purpose. Like I said, like, it was like, what did you touch and done everything? You realize that you feel empty. And then, like, like, true purpose, like, is, like, God's plan for you. I remember that was one thing about that private school I went to. We'd always say there was a prayer one time I did, and I've gotten lucky with, like, a lot of prayers.

But, like, there was one, I was like, God, give me a sign. I was sitting in church, this was in, I was in high school, and it was like, immediately, the only Bible verse I knew was like, myga 6, 8, and it was like, what does the Lord require of you? to act justly love mercy and walk humbly with God

and I was like that was our football team so that was our prayer so I was like it's pretty simple like marching orders or whatever yeah

so that's probably like my favorite Bible verse but yeah like and that's maybe where I

need to find my purpose but I don't I just don't know where to get it yeah i'm kind of in a season of waiting yeah that's kind of what i what i feel like sometimes when you're waiting like like i guess god's working on me but dude i was literally just talking to my wife about this this morning we went on a breakfast date this morning and we're talking about purpose and you know she was just like yeah i i wish like someone could just tell me what to

do and i would do it and i'm like i'm like i'm like you know you know you You know, I wish the same thing sometimes, and it just seems to not be that way. That's what I agree. Sometimes I just want something. Like, that's why I like doing this stuff where it's like, there's a director involved or something. It's like, because if I by myself, I'll just get drunk on stream or, because there's, there's not much to do. Like, once you realize, like, because live streaming, like, it's just unedited, unedited vlogs and a lot of, a lot of, like, vlogs, like, are funny because of editing. Yeah. Like when you, when you, when you don't have that and you have the, just like, you don't have the, you have like the live aspect and you're trying to, like, not be nervous walking around with the camera. Like, I don't, I would get, like, I just would always feel nervous. I don't know why. Yeah, and I think you know, as you keep talking about it a little bit or hinting about it. Like, I think you know that even though you, you know, you talk about still doing drugs and alcohol that, like, going to that stuff isn't working. Yeah. I know you know that. And.

I rather the thing I wanted to really tell you before we keep moving on, it's like, dude, God's not mad at you when you choose those things over him. It just breaks his heart. Yeah. You know, he's like, oh, I wish you could, you know you could find it in me instead. Yeah. And that's every time. Like I, dude, there's so many times that, because when I was 17 and I went to,

because I don't know how much you know about my story, but I had depression and anxiety from like the eighth grade until I was 17. I've never done drugs or alcohol before, but I had like struggled with sexual sin a lot. I started a porn addiction when I was in the fifth grade and made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people and was a people pleaser and all those other stuff. And so when I was 17, I was going to take my life on Christmas Day. And the night I was going to take my life, I went to Waffle House to have like my last meal. That's where you picked your last meal.

Yeah, Waffle House. The All-Star Special. Yeah, that's not a bad spot. Yeah, I know, dude, they can, like, sneeze on your food, but it tastes good. Yeah. So I went there and, dude, no one preached to me. No one said the name of Jesus to me. And if I'm being completely honest, I was the most selfish, most lustful, most prideful, most broken version of myself.

Yeah. But I was the most honest. And Jesus supernaturally revealed himself to me and he stopped me from taking my life. And so I prayed this, you want to talk about getting lucky on a prayer. I felt like I got lucky. I said, Jesus, if you're real, take away my anxiety and depression, because this is why I want to take my life. And, dude, I hadn't had crippling anxiety or depression in over five years. And last year, I got hit by anxiety by a Mack truck. Something happened in public. Like, I saw someone that had hurt me and that had said some things and they didn't know I knew.

And I got in my head and got really anxious and couldn't get out of bed. And I remember laying in bed thinking, just hearing Satan talk to me going, you're a hypocrite. You can never tell anyone that God set you free from anxiety and oppression. Because look at you now, you can't even get out of your bed. And I was so embarrassed. That's what I feel like is a hypocrite. That's why it's like, it's hard to be, like, I'm trying to find a way to find purpose, but I turn away from God because I feel like a hypocrite or, like, unworthy.

Yeah. And as I'm being told that, I got, I finally got myself to get out of bed and go on a run. And I went on a run and I'm praying and I just really felt like I hear God say, you're not a hypocrite, you're just human. And it's just a human, man. And that's not an excuse to keep doing what you're doing. I think you know that. But there's this like human aspect to go, dude, we're both broken.

We make mistakes. And that's why we need Jesus. Because if we don't have Jesus, then we're really going to. to be running around like headless chickens. Yeah, we're really going to not have it all together. And I think I think we need to have more Christians that can stop acting like they got it all together because we got too many pastors that act like they got it all together. And I'm like, well, I can't relate to you because I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. And I feel like I doubt God sometimes. And I talk about Jesus on a podcast and I have a hard time reading my Bible sometimes.

And I have a hard time praying and I'm broken and you're broken. But it's like these these things make us human and learning to lean on Jesus in these moments has really in that moment, I was like, wow, I'm really just a human and that doesn't define me. And the second I started talking about it, like, yeah, it creeped up on me, but I realized I'm human and it made me realize, like, I can't be my savior. I might have gotten prideful that I thought I had beaten anxiety. And then it got me again, I realized I didn't beat it. Jesus beat it. And I was just leaning on Jesus, you know? Pride's a hard one, too. Oh, it's so hard. hard because you never see it.

Yeah, but other people can see it before you. I definitely have been more prideful lately. And I guess, I guess, like, if I had a question for you, like, how do you, like, find yourself solving, like, problems through Jesus? Like, is it through prayer, reading the Bible more, or is it, like, going to church? Is it, like, a mentor? Like, what's your... Bro, if I'm being completely...

honest, it's like all the above. The Bible in the book of Romans says, do not be conformed to this world, don't be like the world, but be transformed by renewing your mind. So we've got to change the way we think by reading the Bible. So reading the Bible is important. Prayer is important because it builds personal relationship with God. How would you start reading the Bible? I like to recommend the gospel of John. So John was a fisherman, so he tends to write a little bit more simply. He was also the only disciple that looked at Jesus at the foot of the cross, watching him be crucified, so I think that's important. I think that's a good one to start with him.

You read me pretty good. He writes pretty simply, right? Dude, I'm the same way. I can't look at the doctor. I need the fisherman to tell me what's going on. Yeah. And, yeah, dude. And, you know, to be honest, like, the biggest thing that helped me a ton of Jesus is, like,

I don't know if you feel this way, but maybe you can, or late. So I remember thinking, okay, let's say, let's say for, I'm just going to use the example because I'm talking to you, but let's say you're like, I really want to stop drinking alcohol, right? And you're trying out of your own strength to not drink alcohol. Like you're trying not to sin, you're probably going to drink more because you're trying out of your own strength to stop. Yeah. And every time I try hard not to make a mistake, I blow my whole life up. Like, I tend to make five times more mistakes than I normally would because I'm trying not to make a mistake. Yes.

Whereas when I focus on just love in Jesus, that's the greatest commandment. The Pharisees, the legalistic guys, they were like, tell us what the greatest commandment is. There's 613 laws and 10 commandments, which one's the best? And Jesus summarizes it all by saying, when you love the Lord your God with your whole heart and your whole soul and your whole mind and with all your strength, you'll naturally obey the commandment. And so when I find myself... Wait, say that part again? Jesus, he responds to the Pharisees. They say, which out of all 613 laws from the Old Testament and Ten Commandments, which one's the greatest?

Because if Jesus said, well, the fourth law is better than all of them, they could arrest him because that was blasphemy. And instead of picking one, Jesus summarizes all of 613 laws and 10 commandments under this one truth, which is loving the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. How do you how would you how would you how would you how would you how do you how do you love Jesus or love God like and then like have it in your in your daily life is it like do constantly prayer like what it does you do you know what it says does it say anything in the in the Bible about like like or what what's your thoughts on like how do you how do you do that yeah I mean for me for me personally I think you know there's there's like basic things and there's also things like to your personality, you know, like for my personality, if I want to be the best version of Bryce, the most patient, kindest, gentle, I've got to wake up and the two things I got to do in the morning is spend some time in my Bible and go work out. If Bryce does those two things, it's like that's, that is life-giving and I do those things with Jesus in it, and it helps

me out a ton. So there might be something specific for you where you're like, well, do to be honest, like I just like sitting in the bathtub and soaking for 30 minutes and listening to worship. music and I, wait, is that true? Well, I don't listen to worship music, but I'll just float around. Dude, you can in there, like, seriously, like, you could, this may sound crazy, but like, you can float around in there and pray and talk to Jesus. And my prayers always don't look like, like, oh, you know, like all this. Like, sometimes I'm like, you know what? Like, I'm kind of pissed right now that this thing happened. This person said this thing. It's kind of mean and I'm upset. Like, I talk to God. I have respect for him because he's my Lord and he's my king, but he's also my friend. And,

You know, I thank him. I make my request known to him, but sometimes I'm just like, God, I'm really hurt right now. And I'm upset and I'm having a hard time. I guess sometimes I forget that he's like, like you said, he's your friend. You know, the interesting thing about prayer is, for example, like with mistakes. Like the typical thing is like, oh, if I make a mistake, I want to go hide. Because, like, I think that's what's going to do it. Or, like, people tend like to send more at nighttime because I think, like, the darkness is going to hide their mistakes.

Yeah. But God is all knowing. He knows everything. He knows what you're going to do two weeks from now. He knows what I'm going to do two days from now. He's probably already mad. Not just kidding. But the beautiful thing is when we come to him with things that he already knows,

it builds the relationship. Yeah. And it builds the trust. And it builds the love. And it shows that we care about him. And that's really what fate looks like. That's what looks like bringing him into every day is you're constantly trusting that his way is better. Like,

I'm going to choose not to turn to the alcohol today, even though I like the feeling because it's left me empty the past few years. And I'm going to choose you instead because you give me purpose and you give me these things. And I remember growing up and being in high school. And when I became a Christian, I went to a private Christian school. People thought like I was a buzzkill. They thought I was the righteous police. They thought I'd like, it was like, why, I was the private Christian school. And I probably wouldn't invite you to party, but I'm just kidding.

But in that moment, it was I was choosing to trust that his way was better. And, you know, so many people were like, oh, you lost yourself. You know, you can't find your personality. I find my personality in sports or I find my personality in partying or I find my personality in sex or I find my personality in drugs or whatever. But God gave me my personality back because I didn't know who I was before then. I was a people pleaser. I was struggling with sexual sin.

I had depression. I had anxiety. I was trying to figure out my purpose. So I didn't even know who I was already then. Yeah. What do you mean he's going to take away my purpose? I don't even know my purpose right now. And when I found him, I got my personality back.

I didn't people please. I wear crocks and T-shirts and my wife's like, get some new style. You know, and I'm like, this is just who I am. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I talk the way I talk. And I look the way I look is I got my personality back. And so, you know, I think everything in between we think of God's will and God's purpose for our life.

and we think it's some grand, elaborate, thundering voice from heaven, like, you're going to move to Kentucky and you're going to do this. And it's like, well, you know, maybe God's will for your life right now is just, like, trust in him. And trusting that he's better than the things that you're trying to do to find purpose in. And when you say trusting him, it's like coming back to him, probably, for me. like because when I when I when I hide it's like it's from like everyone and everything like it's hard to get out of that out of that cycle of hiding yeah and I don't know why but it's just been something like you said you you think it's like a thundering voice but sometimes it just like it naturally comes yeah I think like you reaching out was one of them dang praise God

Praise God. Amen. You know, isolation. I mean, just like, I know we're like talking on the podcast, but I just mean this to you. Like, last thing I would want to see you do is isolate, you know, because that's where we give the devil the license to use our brain against us, the war in the mind. And he uses stuff against us. But, bro, hiding from God has been the meta since beginning of time. Like imagine being the first humans ever created and blowing the whole life up by eating from the one tree God tells you not to eat from. and they go and run and they hide from God.

And the first thing God says isn't, I'm pissed off. He says, where are you? And that's God's heart for all of us. We run and hide and God's like, wait, wait, wait, I know you did something wrong, but like you come to me.

Like, where'd you go? And it makes sense to, because I forget what verse he is, but when I always sticks with me, which is like, I don't know why these verses stick with me because not a lot of stuff. I'm not good of remembering things, but it's like the devil's workshop is idle hands. And it's like how you said like when you started running and working out, like starting your day, like doing it the right way.

Like with with things and like I guess that is like purpose is like even just like the small things like taking care of yourself. for but I think that's where like the I guess my sin triple doubles when I'm when I'm not doing stuff when I'm isolating myself and like and that's where like the subriety

and when I it's mostly sobriety like stuff like that I struggled with I chose not to smoke today before I came here but um yeah I don't know what it was but I guess bro and that might we have to understand like, dude, when I became a Christian, like, I was still making mistakes. And I still

make mistakes. Like, I'm a human. Yeah. But, you know, I like didn't all of a sudden, like, I got saved in Wathouse. I got saved me from taking my life. And I woke up the next morning. And I'm like, you know, it, I was struggling and I was battling. And I was battling. And the win for you today might be, oh, well, I didn't smoke before coming here. Yeah. And it's like, or, you know, the win for me, my first week was like, I didn't cuss this much. You know like the win for me my first week of following Jesus like I didn't cuss as much as I did the week before That one's hard too and that's where like I feel guilty a lot of you know getting on live And doing things that like you know

You can't a kid might see and then like they think that's The way to be or like because like it is a Platformed like in front of front of people and like like like like what what if sketch guys says? sketch drinks like that works for him like that's where I feel like the guilt probably

I don't know where I was going with that sometimes I lose my train of thought yeah no do I do the same thing and that's where like finding purpose is like hard because or not hard but like I like I think like the one thing I stay away from like

is like AdRole and stuff like that because it takes away my personality in the terms of like I'm pretty ADD or ADHD or whatever. I'm self-prescribed. I don't like going to the doctor. I don't like doing...

Do you eat an apple a day? No. No, no. You just don't go. No. A lot of smashed up grapes, that's for sure. Like, even then I lost my train of thought, but sometimes I stumble onto stuff,

and, like, that's where, like, I think as an entertainer, It's like what my job is now. I didn't think it was going to be. But that like trying to find what's, like, how do I do that like in a way that serves God? It was like kind of like, because you grab, like as an entertainer, you're grabbing people's attention. Yeah. And I did, I was never with the one like, I never really wanted to do that on purpose. It just kind of happened.

Yeah. And then, like, getting my, I mean, this is a lot of people's dreams, job. And you'd be surprised out, like, unhappy you can be with, like, when your dreams come true, if they're not, like, tied to, like, a godly purpose. You know, it's crazy what you just said. You just said, talked about how being an entertainer, you got to grab people's attention, but you didn't really have to do that. People naturally gravitated towards you.

And that's a beautiful gift God has given you. So there's two kinds of God's wills for your life. There's a general will that applies to every Christian, no matter if you're male or female, no matter what race you are, where you come from, how much money is in your bank account. And that is love God, love people, greatest commandment in the Bible. Like every believer is called to do that. But then there's like a specific will that may apply to different people.

And in Matthew 25, it talks about the parable of the talents. Like look at the gifts that God has given you. It says that this money manager gave three different people, three different financial amounts of money. The first two guys, they went and they multiplied the money, meaning they used that talent that God had to give them for that. But the last guy, he got scared. And so he buried his talent in the dirt.

And the money manager got mad at him. And he was like, why did you bury it? I told you to multiply it. And so that's where we can look at our own life. Like you look at your own life and go, well, what talents has God given me? And I'm going to use these for his glory and point people back to him. So even finding out, like, was a great place start because when I became a believer I was doing prank videos before like I

literally like lit my neighbor's lawn on fire I was like I'll expose myself let lit my neighbor's lawn on fire I was like kissing moms and like just doing stuff and just being weird like just weird yeah like I would go I would go to like the mall and like like try to get a mom to kiss me on the cheek or did a fake diarrhea prank in school yeah like stuff like click click page yeah literally like just crazy stuff like that and then when I became a Christian I was like all right well I I really want to talk about Jesus I loved writing I took these college essay classes and I don't understand Shakespeare at all but I would love reading hard stuff and simplifying it to make it easier to understand and so I was like I think I'm going to do that with the Bible and I really like social media so maybe I just

use that for as a glory and instead of doing it for myself because I was doing it to get people like me because that's what was popular at the time and pranking and all. I was like, I'm doing this for God now. And finding that specific will, it wasn't that thundering voice, but it was just like, man, God, what if you put on my heart? What gifts have you given me?

And that kind of steered me in that direction. Over time, I find out what, like, my talents are. Because when you, like, you said that when you bury them, I guess like you kind of like lose, like, when you, it's like when you, you, you, when Pirates buried treasure and they lose it or whatever. Yeah. Like, or it can't find it. Like, that's kind of maybe where I'm at right now. Like, buried, buried some of my talents in terms of like not just not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, you.

using them the right way. Yeah. Or not using them at all. Yeah. Yeah. What were you saying? No, I think that was about it. And dude, that's the beauty about forgiveness.

It's like when we use things God has given us not for the right purpose or we make mistakes or we sin or we fall, the forgiveness of God. Forgiveness means to cancel the debt that someone owes you. So Jesus' death on the cross canceled the debt that we owe him for our mistakes. And so we're just trusting that what Jesus did on the cross was enough to pay for my mistakes. And that truth gives me so much freedom. And I'm like, wow, you're so good. Thank you for doing that because either Jesus pays for it with his life or you and I pay for it with our lives. And I sure's heck don't want to do that.

So I want to trust in you, Jesus. And he really is the prize because at the end of the day, when you have Jesus, you have everything. And that's been, dude, that's just like the most. fun. It's so fun. And God's giving you such a unique gift to make people laugh and to make people find joy and those things. Joy is literally a fruit of the spirit. Yeah. And God has given you that gift. And I don't think that's a coincidence. And it's just a matter of figuring out how to use that for God's glory and how to do that. Yeah. That's a process, you know? Yeah, that's a process I'm working through. All right, real quick, if these videos have helped you, the best way to support what we're doing

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or $11 a month in the iPhone app because of the Apple fees. So jump on your browser to save a few bucks. To become a member, just hit the join button right below the video. All right, enjoy the rest of the podcast. And I think we'll come probably naturally, like you said, like I probably just need to unburry the,

unburied myself out of these, like, benders or just unburied myself from, like, Like not serving God or, you know, finding the real purpose. Yeah, because at the end of the day, like, part of me is scared, like, what if my purpose is boring. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I get, like, a high off of some of the things I do. Like, I've just played a soccer match where it was like,

you know like 80,000 people or something watching it and it was like wow it's like that was fulfilling in that moment and then like it was sick and awesome and like a blessing but then like right after I was like now what yeah like a role played a soccer player for a day like that's like a drug in its own way yeah like okay that yeah I get what you're saying yeah and and um kind of like staying stay and stay staying like on a like i need to do better like staying like attached to like a purpose what would what what how do you how do you find like i mean dude i still even struggle with that like i love fun stuff like that like just i love sports so if i get to you know play pick up

game of basketball i like to ride that high if i get to play pickup game of football or wiffle ball like i used to do that all growing up and so if i get to do that again i have fun or pickleball or whatever it may be or, oh, I remember, like, we filmed a video at Comic-Con last year, and I love Star Wars, and Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin, is there, and I was geeking out. And then literally the people in front of me bought the last tickets to meet him, but literally right in front of me, I was so upset. But I was, like, riding that high that he was there and all the other stuff. But I think it just all comes down to these three questions. I remember my Bible teacher said this, where do you find your satisfaction?

what gives you your significance and where do you find security? And so like, you know, if I get in my car right now and I drive and, you know, God forbid I get T-boned by an 18-wheeler, the thing that gives me security isn't that car or the money in my bank account or that I've got a ring on my finger or that I have an awesome dog or awesome friends and we've got to have an awesome conversation. It's Jesus. He gives me security, you know. Whereas there's some people that live their own.

life how they want to live and if they're on the edge of death they freak out and they're like oh where you know what's going they get scared of death and they don't know or what that may be or what gives you significance like where do you find your purpose yeah and what what makes you satisfied if the if the alcohol would have made you satisfied it would only take in one beer you know if the drugs would have made you satisfied it would only take one joint whatever it may be right yeah but or one bong grip like you described earlier but you know Just pointing back to what you said. Yeah.

Obviously, that's not the case. And so it's like, what makes you satisfied? And it's not always a feeling, you know, but that's the beauty about God is God likes to reward us with feeling him sometimes. But even in the moments that I don't feel him, his truth remains there. It's like, I hope you know, I love you. And if I don't see you for three months, I don't, I wouldn't question that I love you, even if we haven't. see each other in three months like you know you mentioned earlier like we hadn't texted in a while but it i didn't think twice about like i didn't think oh he's upset at me or oh he's what you know what

i mean it was like i just trusted that you were doing your thing and that you were doing good and whatever it is and yeah that i mean that's that's what we do with jesus you know 100% and like i i i read that like the satisfaction part is the probably the hardest one of all of them I'm not. There's so many different feelings of satisfaction that you can get. When it gets to a certain point where it's like how much, how much money is enough. Like how much, how much, how much, how many cars is enough, how much jewelry is enough. How much, how much things of this world, like, can, like, you do to, like, feel fulfilled. And it's like, and I've found out that the answer is pretty much none of those.

like you I was thinking about you know like the idea of like when I'm working on something and we're like thinking about like I was like what number would like be like

would I be satisfied with and I was like I was like making up these NBA contract numbers in my head and I was like I was like like even like it and somehow it was like not enough like it didn't bring me any any any any joy

like to even like like to think of it like that. Like it was more of like, and that's where I found myself like, I was like, well, like,

it took the, it took the fun out of it too. Yeah. Once you're only focused on like money or views or, or just things of this world, like, you kind of like lose, you kind of lose that sense of satisfaction.

And, um, you know, I do know that the security is always there. as a believer, you know, and then when you lose that satisfaction that comes from God, that's where you, like, it's hard to find purpose. And, like, that's what I'm working on right now. But, like, I always find myself, like, feeling better when I catch myself, like,

through, like, doom scrolling, like, just, like, like, seeing one of your videos or seeing, like, I said, like, Theo, like, talk about, like, you know, just being, like, open about, like feelings or whatever yeah because um I feel like I'm we're pretty similar in some ways the Theo edits always hit different on TikTok yeah

they hit different he's a good he's an awesome guy too called you know a couple days ago to check on me I don't know like it's rare if I have that to like in people and maybe sometimes like I guess it's like without

God, like, it's hard to find. I don't know, is it discernment? Is that the right word? Like, what's discernment? Yeah, discernment is just trying to figure out something. You're trying to make the right decision. You're trying to understand, do I go left or right? Are you, should I trust this person or not?

Yeah, it's helping make a decision, you know? Yeah, I guess my compass, like, and my discernment was, like, has been thrown off through various different, forms of sin so it's like I feel like the more clear headed I get

the better minds discernment gets through discernment maybe I can find my purpose and yeah because I want to only be able to use my platform like to glorify God and not like

I want to find something that I can like look at to be proud of and like um not just prideful like yeah because like sometimes it's like like get a deal, go buy something. I'll immediately go buy something.

I do not have a financial advisor. But like, it's like kind of like, yeah, chasing that sense, I guess I'm chasing that sense of satisfaction in the wrong places. And like my discernment's been thrown off through just not, not probably trusting in God. I get, maybe like part of me doesn't want the party to end. And that's, bro, that's, I mean, that's, that's honest. And that's all God wants is, you know, as, as you're, as we're processing, it's like, what's the honest response? And, you know, I don't want you to leave here, not knowing, like, your ultimate purpose, like, if you didn't leave, if you left here with anything, it's just to love God. Yeah. Love God. Like, that is flat out your purpose. And then figuring out the specific stuff, it's like, that'll come. But loving God, man, is, is the biggest deal. And to be honest, you know, God's not unless he asks you to, but, you know, just because you, just because you, you want to wholeheartedly start following Jesus, that doesn't mean you got to become a pastor. You know, we need people in the entertainment business that make people laugh, that point people

to Jesus in the way that they act and carry themselves and talk and things like that. We need people at the planet fitness counter, loving Jesus. Yeah. Every person that they interact with when they scan their badge and waiters and waitresses and everything in between. So yeah, God's going to restore your purpose. And I was thinking about this verse, just hinting back on the, you were talking about the discernment thing. There's there's there's two instances particularly on the alcohol and stuff and the substances in proverbs king lemuel at the end I think proverbs 31 or proverbs 30 he talks about alcohol and he says hey if you're you know important leader or you know like a king or something it might be wise for you not to drink alcohol uh because it might sway your

decision making you know he kind of talks about how it affects discernment and then uh in the new Testament, it talks about, it says, do not be drunk with the wine, but be filled with the spirit, for it is a waste. And I think that word choice is so interesting. Isn't it crazy that we call it being wasted? Yeah. When you're on it and it's like, oh, that is crazy. And but, you know, when we, when we get on drugs or alcohol, it's like you're wasted. Yeah. But the Bible says for it is a waste. And it's interesting. And so, yeah, I just think those things, I thought of those. And I'm like, man, that's so, it's so encouraging to go like, man, I need, dude, I need, dude, I need, I need, she eats us every day. Yeah.

Bad. That's what I need to get better at is, or like, I want to work on is like coming to him every day, but a lot of it is trying to because it's like when you have the devil and an angel on your shoulder. Yeah. It kind of like

idea, like it's like the devil tells me like I'm, I'm wasted so like I'm unworthy or and then like that angel sides like

like says like you have purpose go find it like can we can we talk about if you don't mind because I know you I remember when we first called you you wanted to talk a little bit about you you went through a really dark season yeah

what was that like I don't know it was like it was like it was almost a blur but like it was I felt alone I isolated myself and like

I couldn't be truthful with anyone because with everything that came out about me it was like I had the devil telling me like you can't do anything like or you can't like be truthful with anyone like because what will they think?

Yeah but then that's kind of like I guess another part of my purpose is probably like it's not to like how you said people please because like that's that's where like I guess like the devil was like a people pleaser

like in a certain way like but that that time was like I felt like I just had to hide myself or like I couldn't be fully open with anyone yeah and it's actually like I'm glad

everything happened the way it did because it created like it allowed me to be open Yeah, and like vulnerable. Even though it was hard. Yeah. Because I know you had said on an interview before, you talked about how you had lived with a fear of your past becoming public.

Yeah. And then it did. And that created that avenue for you. Where was God for you in your mind during that season? Yeah, like not very present. Like, or not like he wasn't present. I wasn't very present. I remember one way

the one way I would when I was like feeling good and like it was like a sense of gratitude and like gratefulness for like the small things. Yeah. Like always being like thankful.

Always being like and then there got to a point from just the you know the the substance abuse stuff to where it's like you lose like your gratitude because you're numb yeah and like living in numbness kind of like it just doesn't work yeah is what I've what I've come to realize and you you you said that you know if any of that ever came came out publicly that option A would be to call it quits and yeah take your life um did you wrestle with that what was that like um when it first happened I'd I'd

I was like, it was midnight in L.A., so, like, that time is, like, I couldn't get home if I wanted to. So I was at my friend Banks' house, and I was like, I just left, and then he came looking for me, and then my parents called me and, like, people, God showed up for me, like, through other, other people. Yeah. And maybe that's kind of like where my purpose is, like, I guess, is maybe through, like, how other people showed up for them, like, showing up for other people in that way. Yeah. Yeah. Like, through loving, loving people the right way.

So did you run away from that house because you were wanting to take your life? Or you were wanting to? I didn't even know how to. I was just too scared, to be honest. I was like, that was the option, but, like, it was like, in the back of my head, I was like, I wouldn't really want to do this. You were more just running away. Yeah, like, as you were saying.

I literally went to a, I went to a hotel next to the airport and was just kind of like, like, how do I, how do I get out of this? Yeah. Yeah. And then, like, people would call, like, a, I remember it was, like, my management team, which is, they're awesome, but they're like, do you want, like, a PR person? Like, do you want, like, you can say it's AI, like, AI, like, you can try to get out of it. I was like, I don't know, something on my heart told me to just go, like, to go live and, like, just own up to it. Yeah, because there's, like, there's no sense in, like, hiding anymore. Well, dude, when we confess, well, when we leave things in the dark, we give the devil the license to use it against us.

Yeah. You know, so when we confess, even if we confess, even if we confess, we confess. confess being tempted, you know, like, oh, I felt tempted to do this thing. If I, like, text one of my friends, like, I feel like making this mistake. It's like, that thing immediately loses power over me because I like just, you know what I mean? Yeah, I really, I admire that. And I really respected that and admired that a lot about you. Thank you. And, dude, you did it in such a way where it was like, um, because I remember seeing clips on, on TikTok of that stream. And, and, and, like, bro, it was like, the.

It was so, it was, like, funny when you, like, opened it up. And then you were like, no, but this happened. And, like, that just, that was a part of my past. Yeah. It was insane, too, because I was, like, I didn't know what I was going to say. I just left the camera dark. So, like, for three minutes, just so I can, like, pace around and let people get in. so I could just be

people wouldn't like they could just hear the whole story once and be done with it and then I looked at the number I was like 100,000 people I was like holy cow oh my God I don't have anything written down

or so I just kind of like confessed in my own way and like and like the feeling of relief after that was like crazy like after the being like

because that was it never like couldn't be used against me yeah part of me was like scared like just in

the multitude of ways like it just could be used against me and I'm appreciative of the person who whatever discovered it was like because they

the way they did it really took all the power away from me. So, like, it was, like, the response was, like, the response was easier than holding on to it. Yeah. Like, once it was, I was like, well, I mean, like, I either live in shame or I can, like, like, admit to it.

And then, like, keep going. And thank God, people stuck by my side and stuff like that. Yeah, because we love authenticity. We love honesty. Like, we like, I just say we as in people in general. Like, we love those things. And that's admirable. I have a few questions, I guess, about this topic.

I don't know if anyone was asked. Even far away? If you don't, they're like a little bit more deeper. I guess I just kind of want to know, like, how did all that, how did that season of your life occur? How did you get involved in that? What period of your life was that? Were you in a dark place? Addicted to poor people for sure.

That was one thing. And is isolation too? Is there just like, I didn't want to like come to Jesus for a shower because I was ashamed. So I just like just kept rolling in the mud. And like, like, and just varied in various different forms of it. Like, that stream was like, it was pretty cool because it was like a come to Jesus moment with the world and him at the same time. So it was like, it gave me the power to go back to him. And like, thank God, no one used it as like blackmail against me.

That would have been probably a harder way to deal with it versus, you know, some kid drop on a YouTube video. I was like, I was like, thank, thank God he did it that way. Yeah. And how did it get, like where, how did it, how did that even get discovered? Like, where, where did that? Like, I have no clue. I never watched a video of that. I just never, I just never, that's so good, though.

I never, I never, everyone told me not to look on the internet. That's good. I, you know, I, I try not to do the same thing. I try not to read comments and stuff like that just in general, because it's like, I don't want to get my feelings hurt. You know, someone says something mean. It's like, you know. Someone hits you with a good one too.

They're like, oh, it got me. Yeah, literally. It's like, dang it, you know, but sometimes they're accurate too. And, yeah, so that's what hurts. Yeah. But you said after all this came out, you kept saying, like, God is good all the time. Yeah. That's because you were just grateful that that moment brought you back to Jesus.

Yeah. And just more of like it's like it's kind of like sometimes I use it as just a saying, but like that's kind of like what I've gotten. Like I do truly believe that. Like I was never angry or like it almost like ripped the shame away. Yeah. But now the shame isn't like substance abuse or whatever. What's interesting because the Bible talks about in the book of Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

and it says that all things work together for the good for those who are in Christ Jesus and bro probably from like midnight to 8 a.m., you're probably like, how the crap does this work for the good? Everyone experiences that in the lowest of moments. They're like, how the heck, even I heard this quote one time

and I just run with it. Even Batman has dark nights. Yeah. You know, it's like even he has dark moments and seasons. Yeah. And, but like you said, it made you appreciative for God. It made you grateful.

It made you go, wow, I really need to run back to him because he's the only one that can help me in this moment. Yeah. And I think, like, I don't know, being able to be vulnerable, like, was a gift that he gave me through that. And I think in some way that can help other people or be like, you. you know, a way I can use my platform. That's why I appreciate, like, you and Theo again, like, because, well, like, when I see Theo, like, he's vulnerable. And, like, those things are, like, what I gravitate towards.

Because my discernment with, like, with people is usually, usually pretty accurate or, like, you know, like, knowing whether they're good. or bad for me or like they're like you know um and like vulnerability is like kind of like the how good how could I word this vulnerability is like in like an escape from shame and vulnerability like allows you to be like open with God and then other people and how I was able to have my first relationship like praise god yeah pretty sick and um

how's that going good good yeah very appreciative for that and then like um I guess vulnerability ripped away the shame part of it yeah my mentor always says uh he he says transparency leads to transformation and then he he I one time heard him say he said

if you want something you've never had sometimes you got to do something you've never done done. Yeah. And like a lot of people want transformation in their life, but they're not willing to be vulnerable. And he's like, well, if you want transformation in life, you got to be vulnerable. You got to, you got to lay it all on the table. Jesus said, blessed are the pure and heart, for they shall see God. And I guess, because I used to be scared of, like, flying. And then, I'm still scared of flying. I've gotten over, maybe not, because I have to drink on a plane, but I'll have a drink on the plane

and then maybe a pregame but like that like at one point it was like what led to all the success was like there's just something that made me say like in my saying was I'm gonna

say it the non-cursing way but it was like F F it jump like you know that feeling like when you're scared to jump off a cliff or something, like you're scared to go, like, from like a high point, like. Yeah.

Like, that's, that's, like, what my mantra was that led to, like, me going everywhere, me meeting a lot of people and, like, all these dreams coming true. And then, like, through that, like, it built a platform, which now I have, like, the ability to use. It's just, you know, Once again, find that purpose. But, like, you had, it's talking about it. It always feels better than, like, sitting with it.

Yeah. When you're sitting with it, like, I feel like you're there sitting it with it. Like, either with the devil or with God, and it, like, it's, like, if you're not doing anything, like, back to that verse, like, the devil's workshop is idle hands. like it like a lot of times it's the devil when you're in like those places of like

lowness or like how you said like at night like is when it comes out or whatever like yeah it's kind of I don't know if I was gonna make a point there sometimes like but that's just me talking bro it's all good

you uh dude you have an you have an audience with millions of people for a lot of them young guys Yeah. What would you want them to take away from your story? You don't have to be, like, clean to come to God, and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. And, like, God loves you.

Kind of, like, how you're saying, like, that stuff, and being vulnerable with each other is, like, probably the best way to grow, like, true relationships. Yeah. Yeah, because I think as men, like, we... We struggle with vulnerability because we feel the need to puff our chest out or something. Or, you know, I guess that's what I would say. I wish I had something cooler to say.

I think that's pretty cool. Yeah, well, hopefully. Dude, I would love to pray for you before we close. Yeah, that's okay. That'd be perfect. I would love to do that. Yeah, bro. Jesus, thank you so much for today.

God. Thank you for sketch. Thank you for his life. Thank you for us getting to finally hang out. Thank you for being here. Thanks for waking us up. God, would you just bless Skedge? Would you just reveal to him his purpose? Not just that he needs to love you. We're talking to God specifics on how he can use his platform to glorify you, things that he can do to glorify you, ways he can grow closer to you. God, would you reveal that stuff to him? Would you send more people around him to be in

his corner who love him, who love Jesus, who want to sharpen him, we want to be there for him, and who want nothing from him other than just to see him thrive physically, spiritually, emotionally, all of the above? God, we pray that. God, we pray that. that this episode blesses people we love you jesus bless sketch and say your name we pray amen amen