The Bryce Crawford Podcast - The Judah Smith Interview (EP 84)

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

In this episode, Bryce interviews Pastor Judah Smith about the love of God and current struggles Bryce is facing.

What's going on, guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryce. And today, I have a very special guest. I'm so excited for this episode. We've got Pastor Judah Smith on. Judah, how are you doing? So good. Thanks for having me on, Bryce. I'm excited. I want to start off with a completely honest confession. Okay. Okay. Tanner was telling you earlier about how he watched Jesus Love and Barabbas when he became a Christian. So Tanner was the one that introduced me to this video a year ago. And I've never heard the gospel communicated in that way before. So I took it and ran with it. So I tell if someone tells me to give a 10-minute gospel presentation at a church, I quote you word from word. Oh my gosh. So I just want to tell you it has

impacted me. I have to make a confession. I've taken your sermon from 10 years ago and ran with it. So thank you. Somehow I think you've probably improved on it. So thank you. No, no. It is a, it's, but it changed in my life. Kind of in a similar way. Like there was a period of time where, I don't know for me, I guess when I became a Christian, my faith was very emotional and Jesus was real. Right. And then something happened where he came very logical and it was all like facts. Like how much can I know about Jesus to outsmart someone or things like that? Wow.

And then Tanner had shown me Jesus loving Barabbas and I would listen to it every day. And I go hunting. So I'd be hunting and I'd have my AirPods and listening to your sermon on a repeat because it made Jesus so real to me. And so that's kind of what I want to talk about. I want to talk about God's love because I feel like that's something I'm still struggling with today. Wow. Is viewing God as a loving father, viewing God as God's love, receiving God's love. So I really want to talk about that today.

Sounds good to me. That might be my favorite subject. Okay, perfect. Well, this is good. But I want to learn a little bit about you, too. I mean, where are you from? How did you come to Christ? How long have you been a Christian?

Those kind of things? Well, the short of it, I grew up in Portland. Portland, Oregon until I was 13, moved to Seattle at that point because my dad was a youth pastor for the first 13 years of my life and started a community of faith, a church in Seattle. So I've been northwest my whole life and now lived between Seattle and L.A. And the truth is, Bryce, I'm a seventh generation preacher as far back as we can tell. No way. It goes back to a circuit-riding woman preacher in New Mexico who carries.

a gun in a Bible. We have one photo of her. And so I am, yeah, I'll come from a long line of preachers, which also means that I have so much trauma and so much dysfunction, too, because preachers like anybody else can have their proclivities and challenges and weaknesses. So it's awesome, and I'm proud of it. I was born on my grandfather's birthday, October 9th. So my middle name is Elwood. Shout out to my friend who now has like one of the coolest companies called Elwood. But growing up, Elwood was not the coolest middle name. But my grandpa was a preacher in the 50s, and he was kind of intense. That's another interesting thing is that my life has grown, and you go back and you learn about

other preachers that you're related to, and you're like, whoa, God just keep showing us more about him, and we're learning and growing. But married 25 years, have three kids, Zion, Elliot, and Grace, 20, 18, 15, dropped my 15. year old off at high school in Venice this morning. And it's wild. My son tomorrow has a playoff game for his Venice high school basketball team. It's his senior year. He's six five. He's a big dude. He's maybe going to play college ball. And so that's kind of our life, man. And I love, love, love Portland and Seattle. They say the theme of Portland is keep Portland weird. But if that's weird, I like it. I just love Seattle and Portland. And I love L.A. I mean,

I mean, I'm totally falling in love with this city, and I'm so happy to be hanging with you today. Let's go. Thanks for giving me your time. So I guess, like, I guess for you, you came from a long line of Christianity, I guess you could say. So how did Jesus become real to you, you know, and not like a pressured thing? Yeah. Yeah, I think I definitely had those moments. To be honest, my story is like, it's kind of, I don't know, existential or sensational, but at nine years old, I heard kind of the closest thing. to the audible voice of God in Boisey, Idaho.

My dad was doing a, he did a seminar on purpose and destiny and vision and meaning for young people all over the country and some of Europe. So we traveled full time and I would get on stage between eight and 11 years old. I would kind of close out the seminar with my dad. My story is almost died three times before I turned three years old. And my dad would tell the story of how my life had a destiny and a purpose and perhaps the evil forces of the enemy were trying to take me out before I would. to kind of be who I needed to be to join the cause.

But yeah, so I would honestly, I think I would, I would say God just keep showing up to me, Bryce. And I don't know any other way to say it. Even in the mornings, like when I have my doubts and I have my fears and I have, this is too hard, this is too painful. But at nine years old, I just heard this crazy voice and I got done, my dad got done preaching. I came to the back room and I was, he's like, son, are you okay? and I was like, I think God spoke to me. We both got down on her knees as sensational as that sounds,

and my dad just prayed. And at that point, it started a journey with me and Jesus that, I mean, life's not fair. You know, I pray it for my kids. I pray it for my friends. I have a lot of friends that still don't know what to do with Jesus. And I'm like, well, let's just pray. He shows up to you. And it's not always the same way, you know,

and knowing a little bit about your story and us talking before the lights came on and everything. Like, I share a little bit of that similarity. Like, man, God just, like, met me. Dreams, moments, encounters. And so I can't even take credit for that. Do you know what I mean? I didn't, like, research and study. I love to study and stuff. But my story is that he just keeps showing up to me in the oddest and most wildest ways. So in that nine-year-old time, did you ask for that encounter? Did it just kind of happen? It just happened. Like, I was, I wanted to be like my dad. I'm watching my dad on stage and he was a really good communicator and it was a really cool like, I mean, it was the 80s, man. So, but we had like, you know, faux brick on stage and we had like

a rear projector with Pat Boone narrating. You don't know who Pat Boone is, but he still lives in LA. And it was just this visual, like, it was all these images of like actually kind of punk rockers and stuff. And it was my dad being like, God loves all of his children. And so you can imagine I, I visually would watch this same seminar. I could repeat it almost word for word. And so I loved Jesus, but it was very cerebral. It was very much in my mind. My heart was open to him, but starting from nine years old, I just, he became this incredible person that would would meet me when I needed him most. And so I do tell him still to this day, you got to show up for my friends. You got to show up for my kids. You got to show up. If you don't show up, we can't keep going. And it just keep

showing up, man. Yeah. What is like the most recent way that you feel like God has shown up in a magnificent way in your life or in your friend's life? Man, I mean, it's like a bathtub every morning for me, which is really very specific and oddly, probably too visual. But anyways, I do a bubble bath every morning. And that's my spot. I'm a one verse a day guy. I like to think on one verse every day. I haven't got my verse yet today, if I'm really honest. Life got started really quick this morning and my son backed in and wrecked the back of our car. But that's not really the point. That's not why we're here, Bryce. I'm fine. I didn't cuss or anything. But anyways, I just one verse a day. And then, yeah,

I don't know. My idea of prayer is really candid, honest conversation with God. And I just, just get these overwhelming moments of like, I can feel his love, I can feel his approval, I can feel his acceptance, and then he'll remind me of a friend to like think about it, and I'll pray for the friend, then I'll text the friend. And every week there is a moment for me, Bryce, where I text a friend and they go, depending on who it is, no way you just text me. Like, how's that even possible? You're psychic.

And I'm like, bro, I just like, you came to my mind. He's like, dude, you would never believe, da-da-da-da-da. And like, this is happening. And the fact that you text me is like, there is a God and those are just, it feels very adventurous to me. And I'm curious like what that looks like for you in terms of how, I think it's interesting how God shows up to each one of us in unique ways, obviously consistent with scripture and the person of Jesus. And, but it's, that's an enjoyable part to me. It's very much like how will God show up today? Yeah. That's fun.

And spontaneous. And maybe that's my personality too. I enjoy that. Yeah. No, I feel like God reveals himself to me when I'm in the shower too. So it's not weird. You know, it's like it just happens. But yeah, well, I had like my first encounter when I was 17. I don't know how much you know, but I had like an encounter with Jesus and Waffle House. No way. I love Waffle House.

Dude, it's amazing. It's amazing. You're definitely a Georgia guy. Yeah, yeah. I love Waffle House. It's amazing. Yeah. I just like how like they can sneeze on your food and it's just good.

Yeah. And I don't think you'll even know the difference. difference. Yeah, yeah. It's like an extra seasoning. Strong ingredients. Yeah, or like a motorcycle's on fire in the parking lot and you're just like, yeah, I'm at home. You know, like that's a lot of house. I like that. Yeah, I was going there because I was taking it super intense right now, but long short, I had struggled with depression and anxiety for years. And I came to a moment where I thought my life wasn't valuable. So I was going to go to Woff House for my last meal and I had a supernatural encounter with Jesus. that stopped me from taking my life.

Whoa. And that's when I made my ask of God, if you're a real take away my anxiety and depression. And he did. I haven't had crippling anxiety or depression for years, which is amazing. Praise God. But that was my introduction,

was kind of like a moment too. And so I can kind of relate to that. I guess for someone like me, I guess something I'm having a hard time with is I feel like lately I haven't had an encounter in a while. And I know that faith isn't based on encounters and stuff like that. It's nice to have those intimate moments with Jesus. And so it makes me, you know, I feel like some people think like I don't get in my head

and I'm not a human being because I have a podcast. And everyone's like, oh, you've got a podcast. You got everything made up or whatever. But the reality is I'm actually 10 times more broken than people think. Yeah. 10 times going through it as well. everyone. And so, you know, what, what do you do when, when those moments come, when you feel like you're in a drought of, you feel like you can't feel God? Because everyone wants to feel God.

And I feel like I'm in that right now. Absolutely. And I think it seems like the 12 young guys that walked around with Jesus for three and a half years have similar fragility in humanness. You know what I mean? They seem, I tend to think sometimes that you, can kind of find yourself in one of the 12, you know, and kind of go, okay, what, what did they do and what was their behavior? Here's the good news in the headlines. Like, even these 12 guys who walked around with physical, visible manifest Jesus for three and a half years and saw him do sensational, extraordinary, inexplicable acts seem to forget his words, seemed to be anxious, seemed to be angry and fearful and sinful. And, you know, so, so I do think there's a level of,

of like for anyone struggling, and we all do, hey, hey, you're probably doing better than you think you are. I mean, the first thing I would say to you, Bryce, is what I try to say to a lot of my friends and people that I get to do coffee with, all the guys I do coffee with, and I just say, bro, the fact that you're doing coffee with a preacher,

like that's pretty wild in and of itself. Like, the fact that you have this extraordinary podcast that reaches the world and you're willing to, on that podcast, say, Yo, like, I'm still kind of a mess and I still got weaknesses. And like, already to me, it's going to be really, really hard to not meet Jesus staying in that posture. Like, I just love that attitude. I love that approach.

There might be extended dry seasons that are inexplicable. That honestly, anybody like me who would come on a podcast like this with you and be like, well, Bryce, there's 17 key essentials you need to execute on and then you'll actually, it's like, it doesn't really work like that because God's a person, not a mathematical equation. And so, and by the way, if this was just a password to God and we punched it in like an ATM or like a bending machine, we wouldn't have a real relationship. We would just punch in the buttons and da-da-da-da. But sometimes we deduce it to that.

We make this journey with God, you know, like those video games we play. Or I grew up with the Nintendo, which there was literally codes you could get to jump to the, like, last level. And I think we would do that in our relationship with God if we could. But instead, we have to trust him, lean on him, listen to him, wait with him. And I think you have all those elements. It's very obvious, I think, not only to me, but all the people that tune in to learn and listen and laugh with you. So thank you. But ultimately, I will say, based on my study of the 12 guys that walk with Jesus and what I've learned in 46 years

is that I typically will find like the friend in my life who's really having a moment with God and I will have them tell me about it. And I'll just talk to them if I'm really honest and be like, wait, so God like met you. Well, what happened? I will listen to the song that makes me feel Jesus the most. This might be incredibly subjective,

but this is the truth of what I do. So right now Chandler Moore, who I love, he's wild, Maverick City, he did this song called What I Needed. And it's, you don't give me what I want, you give me what I needed. And I'm sorry I was so disappointed. I felt like you didn't deliver. Bro, like my cousin sent me this song from Arizona. And I was like, oh, that's exactly how I feel right now.

God didn't show up for me. But you always do. And it's not necessarily what I always want, but it's definitely what I need. It's what I really want. And so that song has just been, I listened to it this morning, man, and it's just been there for me. But I think friends, art can really move me. I know that sounds odd. I'll go back to art that moves me. That reminds me of moments I've had with God. So I guess the shorter what I'm saying is I'll really lean into other people's and what they're experiencing with God. and then I will go back to things that remind me of those moments God showed up and delivered. And maybe that's the art of remembrance. You look at the children of Israel, God's always like,

hey, set up stones, set up all these things. It's like, I don't think it's about the stones or the edifice or the statues. I think it's about remembering, remembering that he's exactly who he's always been. And if he did it yesterday, he can do it tomorrow and perhaps even today. So those are some of the things that I do. but I wish it was not the way it often is, though, Bryce. Like, I wish we showed up to our shower and our bath every morning, and we got the same extraordinary experience with God, but it isn't. Yeah, I feel, I feel, that speaks to my soul. I feel like whenever, I don't know, it's kind of hard because there's,

the fuel to my passion is Jesus, just what he's done in my life and who he is, you know. and I guess sometimes it does make me feel like a hypocrite when I'm talking about Jesus. Wow. And I'm just like, man, I'm like cut the camera off and I'm like, I can't even feel this guy. Yep. And it's, I'm talking about something that I believe. Yep. I'm talking about something I have faith in right now.

And I'm passionate about it because I think it's true. But then when I cut the camera off, it's not that all of those things are wrong, but it's at that one piece that I so desire this. intimate, like you're real, your embrace, it feels like it hasn't been there, and it partially feels like it's my fault, you know? And that's why I really wanted to talk about this love of God today, because that's, that's, I feel like part of my, part of my issue is I feel like my perception of God's love is kind of warped right now, if I'm being honest. And so, I'm just going to, I mean, selfishly, this episode's about me today. I'm like, I'm like, you know, I want to talk about myself and things I'm going through.

Sounds good to me. So it's selfishly about me, but I feel like that God's going to use this for a lot of people. I feel like a lot of people are feeling this way. I feel like that's the truth. You know, like you feel like no one understands how you feel and then you share it. And then you're like, actually, everybody feels the same way that I'm feeling right now. Just no one's saying it. So thanks for just ministering to my heart today and letting God use you.

My privilege, man. So what is the definition of God's love? Well, that's such a loaded answer. And so very quickly, I'm cataloging because that is both a deeply theological, philosophical, existential. I could go on. You know, it's, that's a loaded word. Sorry, loaded question. If you could, if you could summarize the definition of God, which again is hard. I mean, you got First Corinthians and all this other stuff and things like that. But if you could summarize the love of God. in a definition, how would you package it? Honestly, Bryce from where I sit in the vistas that I live from, in the truest way, in the shortest way, in the most, I think, tangible way, it is his essence. It is the essence of who God is.

He reveals himself as love. Grace, love. You know, the scripture indicates there are some things God brings, And there are some things he is. So he doesn't bring it. He doesn't add it. He doesn't speak it. He is it.

The Bible says that Jesus came as grace and truth. So simply put, I would say, that God is actually love. Now, then you look at the, obviously, the Hebrew and the Greek and the original language in scripture, and obviously you end up running into this pretty, pretty well-known concept of agape. Agape is unlike anything we are truly aware of in this realm. I mean, truthfully, agape is this concept of unconditional love. Now, I love our culture because we're obsessed with love, but we're obsessed with all kinds of love.

Most of the times it's low-level forms of love. I'm not saying low-level is bad. It's just not the zenith of love. And the zenith of love is this concept of love that is unconditional. That is love that does not necessitate reciprocity. It does not need to be reciprocated. Now that is unfathomable for us as human beings, and I can prove that because I've done more weddings than I can count. And all a wedding is, is a bunch of people that know the two people that are standing up there,

and they're basically there to say, okay, you promise, you promise, you promise, you promise, I promise, you promise, I promise, you promise, I promise, you promise, I promise, you promise in front of your dad, I'll do it, you do it, and all it is, it's a conditional moment. It's a whole big celebration of conditions. It's all of us getting together to go like, yo, you promise for real? I promise for real. Yo, but you promise in front of your mom, you promise in front of your dad, or you promise in front of your friends, you promise in front of your wedding party. They're all in peach-colored dresses. You promise in front of them. You promise in front of the bow ties. You promise in front of the pastor. Now we're going to have a party because we're going to party your promises, right? And it's all conditional. So I love our culture because we sing songs about like no matter what I love you. Like are you da-da-da-da-da. But in truth, the only agape that exists in the universe by definition in its full plenary form is from God. And the only person in the history of the universe. mankind who has ever stepped foot on this earth and that has been the full and complete representation of agape is the guy on your t-shirt and i am in love with him because of that very reason like i'm

just in love with him i can't get enough of him i can't talk about him enough i can't think about him enough i can't fathom him enough um he has changed my brain he's changed my body he's changed my priorities he's changed my passions, because no matter what, Bryce, he keeps loving me. And I don't deserve it. And I don't deliver. And I don't follow through.

And I didn't follow through on what I committed to at the altar with God. I've been to so many altar calls, man. I've given the altar call that I should go to my own altar call. You know, like, I'm like, and I've committed at these altars. I'll give you everything.

I'll give you everything. And, you know, give me 48 hours and I'm not giving him everything. And he still keeps loving me. full of grace and truth. And I just, he is the definition of agape. Love is Jesus and Jesus is love. Not all of our definitions and forms of love, but as he defines, and as he defines it in its simplest form, it is unconditional. It is love that will not stop and will not end based on performance, pedigree, portfolio, or anything of the likes. And that to me, that's why you and I are sitting here.

It's like, guys, this isn't about like Bryce and Judah doing some sensational things with our lives. We are just a couple of guys that are like, yo, if you can find unconditional love somewhere else, let us know. But as far as we're concerned, he's the only being that has ever done this for us. So I want my whole life to be his. It's just, that's just how it works for me. And it's just, it's that simple. Dang. I feel like when I look at society, everyone defines it as, uh,

Love is sex, love as drugs, love is this, or loves the butterflies. Yeah, I got. And then if you don't feel it, and it's been so weird to invite you to my personal life this week. Literally this entire week, I've had close friends, family, people that are super close to me, texting me all across the same issue of this relationship or this relationship or this thing is falling apart friendship relationship whatever it may be even things in my own life where it's i don't feel this person's not making me feel excited or i don't feel this butterflies and so it's like oh because i don't feel this thing i'm going to quit i'm going to give up and i'm

going to stop and i'm going to do this i had so many people text me call me this week and uh and it was weird because it it's like i'm these people are calling me saying like price like this person in my life. They're not making me feel excited. So because they're not making me feel excited, I'm going to leave or I did decide to leave. And I don't know if I made the right decision. And I'm talking to them on the phone or I'm texting them like, man, you know, we choose to love. We choose to love. And when we choose to love and we show up despite the conditions, it stirs our affections for them. And then I'm sitting here telling these people on the phone and then I'm hanging up the phone and I'm going, dang, I don't even feel God's love right now. I'm in I'm in the

and thirsty land right now, begging, begging for a drop of something. And I'm telling these people what to do. And I'm having a hard time showing up. And I'm having a hard time, to be honest. And that's what makes me feel like the hypocrite. Exactly what you described. God, I'm going to give you everything in a 48 hours later.

Not everything's there. And I'm like, I feel like I'm saying that too. like I'm getting convicted. All right, God, I'm going to do this thing. And then I, like, halfway do it. And I'm like, man, am I just like, am I just human? Or am I a piece of jump, you know? Should I even be talking about this guy?

All of these things I feel like. And again, I believe it. I have so much faith that this guy really is who says he is. But I'm just kind of sick and tired of my faith being nothing but knowledge. My whole faith in 2024 was how much knowledge can I gain. And that's a crummy way to have faith. How much knowledge can I learn about this guy? What was the surpassing moment for you to where it wasn't just in your head, but it was in your heart to what got past that barrier for you?

Yeah, I mean, I think the Bible says knowledge can puff up, right? So it can actually make you feel like something. you're not. Love edifies. Knowledge can actually do the opposite of edification and it can tear down. The increase of knowledge in the technological boom, where has it left us? Right. It's very ironic. We live in the most knowledgeable era of human history, quote unquote, and yet we are constantly right now in the World Wide Web, by definition, tearing each other apart or down. It's very divisive, right? It can be, that's why I'm here today because I think this is the kind of thing that can can be an antidote and an ointment and healing to that.

I think your transparency, your honesty, your authenticity is essential. You're also very bright, very brilliant. Everyone knows that. And yet you understand that knowledge is a terrible driver. But man, it can make a wonderful companion. You know, like math is really important. But if mathematics is the thing that leads your life, it can get very, it can get very bare and scarce, so to speak.

So I would say a couple of things. I found myself in some of these stories of this ancient book. Now, we talk about the Bible, when we speak of the Bible, and a lot of people watching this program or many programs will be like, yo, all right, here we go again. Bryce has got this guy Judeo on the program. He's going to start quoting the Bible. The Bible is antiquated.

The Bible is not relevant. The Bible, if you read it, it's got hate speech, it's got this, it's got that. Okay, well, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Let scientifically, and I know Bryce, you're good at this, let's put the facts where they lie. There has never been a more preserved, a sensational supernatural preservation of one book in human history. No book has ever divided kings and kingdoms and lords and princes and no book has ever done with this book. But this book scientifically, mathematically,

has no period is unprecedented. All of these things are on the internet now. ChatGBT can prove to you no book even comes close to the phenomenon that is the Bible. So by that definition alone, it should be noted that if there is any book to base your life on, there was ever a book in human history to say, this is the book, is it Huck Finn, you know, is it, you know, I can start, is it Pilgrim's Progress, is it Purpose Driven Life? You know, what's the book? Well, I'm telling you, go to the Internet, let the Internet, you know, lead you.

There is never been a book, more preserved. You can read up on the Dead Sea Scrolls. It is a phenomenal. It's a mathematical phenomenon. It's a scientific phenomenon. It's a prophetic phenomenon. It is wild, right? There's books out there.

The Bible code. I only say that to say. So I do trust that book. It's the best book we got. Until there becomes another one, which I don't think there will be. So I'm down with this book because this book is not about knowledge.

It's about a person that points you to a person. So here's what happens to me. I find myself in this book and I get lost in a story and there's one particular story that changed my life forever. And it's the story about the prodigal son. Why is that a relevant story?

It's a story that Jesus made up. he authored and it's a story that he authored to tell people why he hung out with such bad people because the institution of his day the church of his day basically was like yo if you're god if you're the manifest person of god why do you have bad friends people that don't go to church people that do bad things and he's like let me tell you three stories i'm going to tell you story about a woman with a coin collection i'm going to tell you story about a shepherd with some sheep and I'm going to tell you about a father with two sons. All of these stories are parables.

They're made up stories that Jesus is trying to tell us. This is how God sees us. This is how God works and moves, etc. There is this story in conclusion. The third and final story Jesus tells to express why he has bad friends. And it doesn't make any sense. The manifest person of God says there is this story where this man has two sons. The oldest is apparently out in the first.

the field. The youngest is like, y'all, I want my money now. I don't want to wait until you die. I want to go, right? He moves to Amsterdam or Vegas, whatever, which I love both those cities, but they're wild, right? And he, and he wastes everything. And apparently, later in the story, we find out that this father, now, by the way, in these three stories, for those out there that are Bible scholars, they love this stuff, you have a woman with a coin collection, you have a shepherd with sheep, and you have a father with two sons. I believe this is the triune God in three parables, right? So you have the Holy Spirit, which is the woman is the type of the Holy Spirit. I believe that the shepherd is a type of Jesus, the son, and I believe the father is obviously the father. So you have the full revelation of God in these three parables, and I found

myself in these stories, and I wanted to know who God was, and I wanted to know his essence, and I wanted to know what made him tick, and I wanted to know what really matters in life. My head's confused, my head's spinning. I'm trying to gas, rather, all this knowledge. If you're like me, Bryce, like I listen to really, really smart people, and I get overwhelmed and undone and unfit and feel like, bro, I can never measure up. I don't read enough books. I don't even like to read, to be honest. I can't stand reading. All I want to do is watch ESPN, if I'm really honest. And so that's mostly what I do, and I read one verse a day. So I'm not that guy. Like, I like to talk, but I don't like to read. So that's a problematic because then you run out of

things to say. But anyways, so I'm in these stories, and I get to this end of this story, and I was a young man, like 16 when this happened. And I see this story played out in my head, and the sun wastes all of his money. And there's this moment. And this is what I'm going to express to you. There's this moment where he starts to write a speech. because he gets the idea that, yo, I'm broke in Amsterdam. I'm broke in Vegas. I might as well go home to dad. And here's what I'll do.

I wasted all his money, so he's got to be pissed at me. Excuse me my language. He's got to be mad at me. But I'll tell you, I just want to be his employee. Because my dad's got a business and he's got employees. And those employees live better than what I'm doing, broken Amsterdam. So I'm going to go home. And in that moment, Jesus tells a made-up story about the speech this young man's right.

And I'm telling you, Bryce, for me, the speech this guy writes. is exactly how all of us feel about God every day. In this speech, he says this. This is what I'm going to say to my dad when I get home to the ranch. I'm going to say, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. I know, I know, I know. What am I doing here? All the money's gone.

I am no longer worthy. There it is. I'm no longer worthy to be your son. Make me an employee. And I'll serve you faithfully. Why is that speech is important? A couple of things. When he gets home, you know what's crazy about the story Jesus concocted, made up, and wrote, and articulated?

The father never acknowledges the prepared speech. And the prepared speech, what's its essence? The prepared speech is this young man is saying, I did not live up to my end of the deal. I took all your money, spent it on. God knows what. I am broke, so I'm coming home. I can't be one of your kids. I can't be one of the sons.

The sons had all the perks and all the benefits. Make me an employee. I'll work the money off. And there it is, Bryce. That's how earn and deserve. That is cause and effect. That's how the universe moves. That's how all of our economy functions.

That's how the internet works. You get in, you get out what you put in. God's not like that, and that's our biggest conundrum. That's our biggest consternation with God. God doesn't even function that way. His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. God in this story is the father.

The son is me and you. And there are going to be days. We are going to absolutely break the budget, waste the money, and be idiots. Because there's idiot in all of us. And what do we want to do? Every time that happens, what do we want to do? We want to prepare a speech. And in that speech, we want to essentially tell God.

Dude, I'm an idiot. And I broke the bargain. I broke the deal. So don't treat me like a favored son. By the way, we can talk about all the sons. The sons had clothes, no shoes, the shoes. The shoes were wore by servants because, sorry, the sons had the shoes. The servants had no shoes. There was all these benefits. They had the credit card, whatever. If you know the story, which I know you do, Jesus says the son comes home, while he's still a long way off, the father runs to him. In those ancient days, distinguished men did not run. So even the story that Jesus tells, the man runs. The father runs. Nobody runs. He runs to him. And what does he say? Instantly, he starts to put in motion, sonship. And he says, get out the road, get out the ring. All those, by the way, are really, really symbolic, massive imagery of acceptance, favor, and blessing.

I am telling you, the love of God, the irony is our biggest challenge with the love of God and not feeling the love of God is because we feel unworthy because we are. And the only thing I can tell you is when we move from worthy world to Graceland, if you will, our entire orientation of life changes. And if I could say it this way, the reason we like Worthy World is because Worthy World adds up like a math equation. It makes sense. It's how this whole world works.

It's how my marriage works. It's how a lot of my parenting works. But with God, Bryce has changed everything. He does not work that way. You are not a son by worth. You're a son by birth. That's why Jesus said, you must be born into my family. You don't earn your way into my family.

You don't deserve your way into my family. You can only be birthed in my family. And once you're birthed, you can't be unbirthed. You're mine. And so this imagery of scripture is emphatic. And it's, I mean, how can Jesus on the cross, one of his last dying gas seven statements, Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing.

They don't know what they're doing. They certainly knew where to put the nails and wear the crown on you. I mean, they crafted a crown of thorns to dig into your skull. They don't know what they're doing. Jesus, they look like they know exactly what they're doing and they hate you. They don't know what they're doing. That's love talking. That's grace talking.

That's how God sees us. They don't know what they're doing. They really don't know what they're doing. They're eating each other alive. They're destroying each other. They're destroying their lives. They choose sin every time, but they don't know what they're doing. Father, forgive them.

Let me take the penalty in my body. Forgive them. I am obsessed with this because if you can tell me anybody on the World Wide Web, tell me where there's a better story. And where there's acceptance and love and forgiveness like this. So for me, I realize in my lowest days, my only shot, Bryce, is that I have to embrace not love as I see it and define it, but love as defined by Jesus. And here's the image, and I promise I'm done because I'm preaching a sermon, but the image to me is so radical because all I can see is this kid, he's smelly, he's dirty, he's out of money. and suddenly a robe comes over him, a ring, a ring was a credit card, that's all it was, sandals, and all of a sudden he's sitting there and imagine the employees come out,

the older brother, which we know that doesn't go well. And everyone's like, what? And that's how I feel a lot of the time, Bryce. People are like, bro, you think you can be a preacher? Not really, to be honest. I don't think I'm a, I don't think I should be a preacher. I think it's scandalous that I'm a preacher. I think it's scandalous that I get on stage and people listen.

to me. I don't think they should. My life doesn't back it up all the time. It just doesn't. Like, I feel as doubtful as an agnostic, as an atheist, as a whatever, but I'm telling you, he keeps showing up. Sometimes there's long gaps. But even in those gaps, I'm reminded that I don't live in worthy world. I don't have to earn it or deserve it. It is mine. It's unconditional. And so instead of apologizing for what I have, I utilize what I have. And I think that's why Paul says to Timothy. Timothy was pastoring a mega church in antiquity, and he says, you therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. That word grace caris, charisma. It's also your gift, but it's also the grace of God in your life. Just be strong in it. Because, bro, there's going to be days you don't feel strong. That statement made by Paul to Timothy is not a statement to say, when you feel strong, be strong.

He's saying, I know you feel weak. I know you feel inadequate. I know you feel like everybody who says those things. Here's the thing. People criticize me. They're right. I love how we're like, hey, man, I heard, some things about me on the internet. And I'm like, other than like sleeping with other women, I only sleep with one woman. I'm married to. Thank God. But like, like, a lot of it is true. He's arrogant. He's this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm so broken. Guilty as charged. But the grace of God keeps showing up in my life. And I don't know what to say other than he is so loving and so gracious. I didn't run at him. He ran it me. I didn't ask for the robe. He gave it to me. I didn't put the ring on my finger. He put it on me. He called me son, not servant, not slave,

son. I'm in his family. I don't know what else to do. I can just imagine the guy just sitting there all smelly, the younger son, and they're putting this robe on him and everybody standing around murmuring. And that's what happens, bro. Everyone's going to talk. But Jesus never addresses the whispers about himself. He just keeps moving and keeps loving. And my encouragement to you and to anybody out there who feels this way, man, I'm with you. I feel the same way like every 32 minutes. Like I'm like, bro, this is crazy. We shouldn't be doing this. God finds somebody else to do this. Like, Bryce and I are not your guys. We're train wrecks, right? Like, I honestly feel like a nightmare. But I'm going to be strong in the grace. I didn't earn it or deserve it. But this charisma,

this charisma you gave me, I guess the most worshipful, thankful, grateful thing I can do, is be strong in it, is be strong in it. And that's been my life verse. I'm be honest with you. My life verse is you, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace. I feel like Timothy. I feel like God has blessed me in ways. I can't even, there's nothing I could ever prove to anyone that I deserve this life.

I'm a woman for 25 years, the only girl I've ever dated, three beautiful children, friends and family and love. Bro, are you joking? Like, I don't, I deserve death. I'm an absolute nightmare. And I don't, somehow that gets me going, bro. In the mornings, it actually gets me going. Because I'm like, this whole thing is a scandal.

And I can't believe I get to do this again, God. You gave me this life. And so I think we got an opportunity, Bryce, to show the world what it looks like when you don't live by earn and deserve cause and effect. When you live by transcendent grace, bro, I just think it's exhilarant. I think it's why people tune in. I think it's why people connect with you because they can see that you're not projecting. I did something. I got on the grind, bro, and I made this podcast happen.

I mean, you told me of your own omission before the lights came on. You're like, bro, I mean, not a lot of people believe in this, but God has started blessing and started growing. That's that's caress. That's charisma. That's grace. That's favor. That's God running at you. And you might as well wear the robe in the ring and just tell people the truth, though.

I know it's crazy, right? Like, I don't know what happened, but God just keeps. And I think in our own unique ways, God has plans to do that for all of his kids. It's not fair. It's not all the same. It's not all equal. But, you know, that was a real full sermon,

and I'm sorry, you have uncorked, like, the most passionate thing to me in the whole world. No, that was really, really what I need to hear. Because I feel like I have been living in a worthy world. I feel like that car. cartoon character that's got the cloud that only reigns over him, you know? Like, I just got to be honest, because it's like, I want to wear the robe. I want to wear the ring. But then I feel like that if I had a screen over my head that had every thought, feeling, emotion, action I'd ever done,

that it would just be, and I am unqualified. I'm the last guy that needs to have a microphone. I'm the last guy that needs to be talking about this guy. And all I want to do is close my eyes and picture this man that I have so much faith in that drives me to share Jesus with people and have conversations. And all I can picture when I close my eyes is swords pointed at me from every direction of pressure, of you got to do this. And I just keep falling to the pressure. If I got to be this perfect guy, I got to have it all together. And then Bryce makes a knucklehead decision or, or Bryce is just, I'm a consistent knucklehead 23 hours and 50 minutes of the day. And as I'm being a knucklehead,

trying to to manufacture this love that I'm wanting so bad, I feel like all I'm getting is the sword. And I, yeah, I wear the robe. And then it's like somehow it comes. It's not all me anymore. I take it off. And then I got the rain cloud over my head. And I can't,

I feel I so desire. this. Like I was sharing with you. Like I've always been passionate about Jesus ever since a moment. I surrendered my life to Jesus. And last year, there's no doubt. I don't know why God keeps having a bunch of people listening to me. I mean, I got tattoos all over my body. I had some dude call me. He goes, dude, why are you preaching, bro? You look like the total opposite of a preacher. You know, and I'm like, dude, I am. I don't know why I do that. And then there's so many people listen and I feel like I did fall to to the opinion and the pressure and the and the oh man I got I got to do this and and I don't want to feel like that I really don't I don't think anybody wants to feel like that

how you handle the pressure well first of all I think it's being honest about pressure I think I grew up thinking that great men and women I admired that it was a moral sexual ethical problem they had and I found out it was just a pressure problem. I think a lot of my friends who have had very public falls, so to speak, it was pressure. Pressure is oftentimes very real, sometimes manufactured. I just want to say, Bryce, at my age, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I completely understand because you are a phenomenon and the world works a lot different than it used to work when I was your age. My pressure at your age as a youth pastor, for instance, was a lot different. And so you have an enormous amount of empathy coming from me. These are

different waters. This is a different wilderness and a different jungle altogether. And one that at my age, I still don't, you know, I don't understand how it works. It gets me very convoluted and confused and hurt. You know, I just feel hurt sometimes. So a lot of the times I do what is incomplete and I just ignore it. You know, it just goes away. And I just hope that if I don't see it and I'm basically not on social media or the internet, it just will go away.

But it doesn't. It always gets back to me. Somebody, a couple people yesterday stopped me with my cousins in town and they said a few things. And one lady was trying to pay me a compliment. but it hurts so bad. And it was stuff that I hadn't thought about in a long time about friends that they get me confused with those friends. And this lady was sure I was in on it and made comments while I was buying some perfume

for my wife. And I was like, oh, man, I haven't thought about that. But just because you don't think about it doesn't mean it's not there. And in your case, like, I applaud you. I mean, I think I see you wanting to engage with people and help people, even people who have questions about you and challenges. So I say all that to say, I definitely feel unqualified to comment on the level that you experience in lifestyle. I have the privilege of working with and walking with people with some of the biggest platforms in the whole world. And I feel the same way. I'm like,

what am I going to tell you, bro? Like, I don't know, like, really what that's like? But I'll say this, Jesus felt pressure. And the most vivid, intimate moment we are given a glimpse into is Gisemite, right? Gisemone is a place of, ironically, where they press olive, right? And Jesus is there. And I think what we have is a portal into his physical body. Jesus is fully human, fully divine, and he's in the garden and listen to his soul speak. He's like, he said, you know, God, if there's a chance that I don't have to go through this, that'd be great. It's interesting because he hasn't been pierced yet, but there's so much agony. Isn't that interesting? Like, in fact, some would argue that we have more agony on record before his hands are pierced.

His side is pierced and his crown is crushed with his thorn. So soul agony is acute and it's painful. And so I would like to say like, I have Navy SEAL friends that have told me like, bro, you don't even understand pain. And you're like, well, yeah, I mean, your context dog, I definitely don't. Like that's crazy.

You swam in the middle of the ocean for 27 hours? Like, was there sharks? Yeah, we felt them come by. It's like sandpaper. And I'm like, oh, you know, I get scared when I get lost in downtown L. So like, you know, I get it. But the unique acute pain that you, Bryce, feel, first of all, needs to be just cared for and just recognized.

And I hope that you, I know you're not asking for that. You don't need that. But it's important to me that you don't feel crazy for feeling like you are treading water in the ocean for 27 hours and there's sharks swimming around you. Because that's what it feels like. that is how I've been feeling because it's so crazy that you brought that up. You're like, man, like I, I, you were, you were talking about like the public, you know, people that you know about public falls and things like that. And I would look at that and I would go, I, I'm going to take every step possible to

not even crack a door open to whatever a fall looks like. And, you know, I'm doing this. I got a five minute screen time on my Instagram and TikTok. I don't even follow girls. Like, I like don't do, I, I have five friends. I can count on my hand. many friends I have. I've got 2,000 unread text messages. Like I got nine voicemails I haven't listened to. Like I'm like so like, oh my gosh, I want to do this. I want to do this. And I just want to

love Jesus and Jesus. I just want to make sure you're my priority. And this is and that. And sure, it's like maybe you don't understand like that Navy SEAL pressure or I don't understand your pressure and you don't understand my pressure. And even I look and I'm like, dang. And there's like a part of me. And I'm not even trying to be like, oh my gosh, look at me when I say this. But it's like, you just care about people. And it's like, it's like, oh, I want to have the energy and capacity for every person I see. And it's like, I want to tend to their garden. And then my garden's a sloppy mess.

And I'm like, you know, it's like, I want to help if I can. I want to like do this. You know, oh, you're hurting. Like, how can I just give you hug? You know, something. I just want to, I'll have an empty glass and like try to drop my last drop. And somebody else is, you know, just trying to like, make. like see like oh you know how can i be the light for this person and i think that's why when i close

my eyes i see nothing but pressure and it's like i can shut off all the doors and windows and put the shutters and close them and and and and tent all the windows of of where every bit of pressure and it's like even even what you said even the nice comment like someone will say something nice to me and i'm just like thanks and then i'll like sit on and i'm like i don't feel like that's true like thank you but i just don't feel like that's true or Yeah, it's just like, I don't know. I don't want to stop because I love this guy that I'm so obsessed talking about. And I really do.

I just want, for some reason, I feel like this knowledge that I'm carrying is calloused my heart to this feeling of like feeling God and his love. And I also feel like I have an amazing family. You know, I have an amazing family. But I would lie to you and tell you that my family doesn't have broken. and my family wasn't broken and hasn't been broken for a long time, you know. So I definitely know that there is also a perspective where I'm viewing God partially on, I'm viewing him wrongly. I'm viewing him like things I've seen or things that have happened to me or things like that.

And I want to be able to get over that. I want to, I want to, it's like I want to kill that part of me. I feel like this is the one thing that's holding me back is receiving this love that is so clearly displayed and so on the table. And it's packaged with a bow on top. And it's like, oh, Bryce, like, here you go. And I'm like, hey, guys, look at this gift I got.

And I feel like, you know, there's part of me that's like, I've got this gift. I know I got it. It's in my hand here. Check it out. And then I'm like, don't. Sometimes it's all the knowledge that's driving me. And I don't want that.

I would drop all the knowledge right now if I could just know the person and his love. And I know I do. But this dry season, whatever dry, thirsty land of just nothing but swords pointing at me and I'm still trying to micromanage this. Like, let me keep cutting off all these branches

to get in the way. I can't. It just makes me feel weird. You know, like it's weird. Why do we do this? Why do we like try to micromen? If I had those questions every day. Like I don't know.

I don't know. I guess you make me feel normal. Wow. Thank you. You don't make me feel crazy. Because I feel like I talk to a lot of people that kind of tell me that you have to be some type of way. and I don't feel like I match up to that at all. I've been trying so hard.

Receive this love. And I feel like I'm held back by this knowledge. And I feel like every time I'm like, I've got to read this book. I got to do this. I've got to do that. Because everyone I talk to is 10 times smarter than me. And they seem so much more closer to Jesus because they know so much more than me. And I feel like I'm just trying to catch up.

But like I'm just like at my wits in. I don't even care. I just want to, I want to feel this love again that I felt when I was at Waffle House. And I know there are people out there that feel like me, and that's why I'm willing to talk about it. Because I know I'm not worthy. I'm not perfect.

I'm broken and unqualified. And I mean, shoot, I'm supposed to be an adult, but I can't grow facial hair that doesn't make me look like a creep. You know, like, I want to say I got it all made, but I don't. And you make me feel normal. Thank you. Thank you. And I want to, I just want to be that son.

I want to feel like his son. I don't want to feel like I'm going to be another statistic one day. And I don't want to feel like I'm just this strong man. Let me strong me. I'm tired of trying to like do it on my own. And I think Bryce, not only is that beautiful, I think it's exactly how a lot of us feel, whether right now or sometime real soon or recently.

I think King David felt like that. I think he felt like a shepherd who God met and then promoted. And then suddenly he's in a palace. And the palace will create pressure that is so overwhelming. And suddenly you got all these eyes on you. And the truth is, you're just still the same little shepherd guy you've always been. Now you got a lot of jewelry on and you got all these robes. And maybe he had concubines.

We won't go there. But, you know, like David's turned into this, like, complex czar, prince. And he's not doing good, right? There's moments in his life. we know he does some really bad stuff because he's not doing good. He doesn't have a very good track record as a dad. He kind of hurts his kids because he's just not doing good. And it's like in the scripture and the Old Testament,

we see David and it's like he's lost, you know, in it all. And he's like that guy that saw a guy, God deliver his sheep from the lion and the bear and everything. But there's this moment. and this is a moment that has meant so much to me where the Ark of the Covenant, we won't get into all the details, but the Ark's coming back,

which is a picture of God's presence and his essence. And David has this crazy idea. I'm going to go dance, basically like I used to dance when I was a boy. And I think what happens that day, Bryce, is that the king, forgot that he was king, forgot the palace and the pressure and all the people. And I think he wanted to dance again like he used to dance when nobody was around in front of the sheet

because he felt the love of God. If you remember the story, he dances probably exactly how he used to dance, which is basically in his undergarments and his boxer shorts. And he just starts dancing in the streets and the whole nation's watching them. and he gets back to the palace. And his wife at the time, his name is Michael, spelled like Michelle, but it's Michael. She said, you're an idiot.

And there it is, right? And man, if that hasn't happened to me a million times where you're like, you finally like kind of recover, like who you are, and you're like, dude, this is me, bro. Like, I'm not everything that people say I am. I've been so preoccupied with the palace and the people and the pressure and the stuff and the things in this. I don't care anybody with platforms.

feels this way at some time or another. I don't care who they are or how they project themselves. And you recover it for a moment, right? You get that glimpse and perhaps it's happening to you and me now where it's like, bro, this is who I really am, though. Like I'm really an unsophisticated shepherd boy who Jesus met. And it's like you get that glimpse. And without fail, in this stage of your life,

there's somebody like Michael who you've trusted and loved. And they go, bro, you can't do that anymore. You can't, bro, we're like a whole thing now. You can't. And remember David's response? He says, oh, Michael, you think that was crazy? Like, you hadn't seen anything. I realize now that's who I am.

I'm just a dude that God met in the fields with some sheep. And I'm not a lot more than that. And I think, you know, I think in the beautiful ways that you've said it, Bryce, I think, that there's something to that for everybody. Like, it's funny, you hear all the great athletes, you hear all the great artists. And they all have this renaissance later in their career, or hopefully earlier in their career,

where they're like, I'm still the kid that dreamed about playing football. Like, I'm still the girl who dreamed about being an actor. But man, when it happens, bro, everybody tells you you'll be so happy. Like, you'll be this big podcaster and everybody will listen to you around the world. and you'll be with all your friends, it'll be the best. And then you go to sleep at night and nobody's around and you're like,

I feel so much pressure and so much pain. And I live in the palace, dog. Like this sucks. Excuse my language. And I think that the worst part, I was going to say suckiest, but that probably will offend people. I shouldn't use such crude language. But the worst part about it, bro, is that like you lose yourself sometimes.

and I'm still the nine-year-old kid in Boise, Idaho, bro. I swear. I definitely have gray in my beard, and unfortunately, I can grow a beard. I wish I had your baby face, which is gorgeous, by the way. Congrats. Endlessly, eternally youthful. But all I would say to you, that entire story was to say to you and to say to me, we still got to dance, you know?

and whatever that metaphorically means for you and me, we still got to be exactly who we've always been. But I promise you, whether it could be this episode, you know, Bryce, you can't be like crying, bro, telling everybody on your podcast all this stuff you're going through. Sorry, bro. Like, I just don't know any other way to do it. I feel lost a little bit in the sauce.

I feel lost in like the pressure of it all. And perhaps that's why we tune in. Perhaps that's why we trust you because you're willing to say, like, dude, a lot of this stuff is, like get into my head because you got into this for people. And that's the thing that will keep you being who you are. I got good news for you. Bryce, what got you here is what will sustain you.

But here's the good news. Your story is that what got you here is not your genius and your hard work. It's the grace of God. And the grace of God got you here. So the grace of God will keep you here. And the grace of God will see you through. The problem with just hard work is if hard work got you here, then you got to work harder now to keep you here. But that's not your story, and that's not my story.

So in a sense, everybody wants to keep you from being a kid and dancing. But I love how David said to his wife, Michael. Listen, if that bothers you, there's going to be a bunch of other stuff that's going to bother you because I'm still the shepherd boy that God met him. in the field. And I think that was a secret to David's strength. And so, I mean, I thank you. I think I find a lot of strength in your candor and emotion and transparency. I'm with you, man. And I got to tell you, I might be a lot older than you, but I feel almost the exact same way. I don't know if that's encouraging or discouraging, but at least we're in it together. That makes me encouraged. Thank you. Yeah, thank you.

That's all I really say. Thank you. Thank you for who you are and being you and making me feel normal. It's nice. I want to transition into a question that has to deal with different kind of love that I ask all my amazing married yes. And I listen to my amazing friends on your episode with Girls Gone Bible. So I'm going to ask you, you have to give me a different answer. and I'm going to force one out of you.

I'm not married. I'm an amazing dating relationship. My girlfriend's amazing. So I always asked married friends, what is their best piece of dating advice that they would give? And I'm going to quote you on what you said. You said, I can't give good dating advice. My wife's way better at that.

But I'm going to shake you down for dating advice right now because I'm always trying to be better. You're too prepared, apparently. Your preparedness is absolutely unnerving. Well, I mean, ultimately, like, you know, whether or not this is scriptural, you know, the things we want and desire in our life, man, if we reflected them, if we prioritize them I think there's some beauty there. Like I've never met a guy or a gal who said,

I want to date someone who's selfish. I want to date someone who's self-seeking. I want to date someone who's crude and rude. I want to date someone who goes on a date and doesn't listen. They just wait to talk. I want someone who is preoccupied on their, phone. I want someone who is affectionate because they have to. Like, you know, all these things where like, no one ever like says that. They always want the soft, kind, fun and amazing, but like,

they want the person who's present and loves them and cares for them. And ultimately, I would say, man, the thing about God's unconditional love is it keeps your heart soft. And to me, the most powerful position in posture a human being can be in in preparation for romantic love is a soft heart, an open heart, like similar, soft heart, open heart. Like, I mean, who's ever been like, you know, that person is so annoying because they're so curious. Gosh, that person just asked me so many questions about myself. I hated it. man that person just kept looking at me in the eye and sharing such interest and care and concern for me it drove me nuts like no one ever says that like yeah so like if you think about it what if you

you yes you watching or bryce and i became that person we dream about and that's impossible for us to do it on our own but if we just like really we're like okay god's loves unconditional he loves me all right I'm going to start making certain things a priority. In the same way I use hygiene as a priority, I'm going to use asking questions as a priority, listening, eye contact. Hey, how you doing? I love our culture because we're like, yo, what's up? But we don't ever stop to listen to what they say.

It's just our cliches. Like, yo, what's up? Are you good? And we don't, we expect only this. Yeah, yeah, good, perfect. It's all cliche. Meaning, like, if I said to you, are you good? And you're like, bro, actually like, dude, I'm not, thank you for asking.

A lot of people would be like, oh, oh, bro. Yeah, all right, well, you know, let's, yeah, no, let's talk about that in a minute. I thought we were going to like lucky strike. I thought we were going to top golf. Bro, like, wait a, are we going deep right now, Bryce? You're like, that's our culture. And so when it comes to dating, I just think it's hilarious. I think we go mindlessly into dating more than we want to admit.

And I think we're like, you know, I hope he's hot. I hope she's hot. Sick. Wow, this has been fun. They thought about me a lot and they talked about me a lot. I like them. What if it was inverted? The whole thing, we inverted, the whole thing, and we thought,

I am going to be that person that's curious, a listener, a lover, empathetic, caring, sensitive. You know what I learn? You do that for a day and you're more likely to do it the next day. You do it the next day. You're more likely for doing it for three, four, five days in a row. If you're not careful, dog, you might become that person. You might actually become a curious person. And to me, it all starts with like, if every day I'm like, I don't deserve this,

I didn't earn this, but I'm grateful and I'm here. By the way, there's science that backs up the whole thing that says if you can't be like anxiety and gratitude are like oil and water. Like, it's really hard for them to like stay together. So if you're super grateful and you practice gratitude, it's really hard oftentimes. I'm not saying it's impossible, but anxiety to take root. I just, I don't know, I don't underestimate, like going on a date and being that person and see what happens to you.

Like, I just think it's exciting. Now, again, we can get into scripture and all that stuff, but I just think from a real practical point because you're forcing me to talk about how I think people should date, even though I'm 26 years removed from my last actual date. Not true, I mean, we do married dating. Chelson and I have date night every week, but date night is also fun because it usually leads to sex, which I highly recommend. When you're married, right?

Yeah. You knew that was coming. Amen. I appreciate you. I feel like that is really practical because I feel like the most loved when people ask me questions. Even when you came in here, like you're just, you have nothing but where are you from? Or dude, no way.

That's so cool. Why do you do this or things like that? And I'm like, oh, man, like that is awesome. Like, you know, it makes you feel seen. It makes you feel seen. And so it's cool because you walk. out the very thing that you're telling us to do so thanks for doing that thanks for being that awesome example and thanks for you're doing that can i ask you a question about your dating relationship

yeah is is your girlfriend is her is her favorite part your blue eyes does she love your blue eyes she have piercing blue eyes really is that a good thing what's not good when i walk outside the sun like blinds me and i'm like oh my gosh that's right because you're you guys are more sensitive yeah yeah yeah it's really weird like i thought it wasn't a real thing and then i started noticing how bad my eyes hurt when I'm in the sun. My girlfriend does like my blue eyes. I mean, they're like, like your light blue Jesus shirt, which I love, by the way. Thank you. Your blue eyes are piercing. Thank you. In, in a really awesome way. Congratulations. Thank you. Well, normally I try to have good eye contact. And then when I met my girlfriend, I was so nervous, I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I was like looking everywhere else

but her in the face. Like looking up at the sky, looking down on my feet, looking at my friends. How long has you been dating? A year. Oh, baby. Yeah, yeah. We should probably get into that right now. No, dude, we are not doing this right here. Well, you know, I had a crush on her, like, all throughout high school. Like, I knew who she was in high school, but she didn't know who I was. And I had a crush on her, like, like a digital crush.

Like I saw, you know, we knew who like pretty girls were in the surrounding high school areas. And so it was like, it was like before I was a Christian, I knew who she was. And I always thought she was beautiful. And, but, but I, I never, yeah, just she didn't know who I was, became a Christian. You know, Jesus found me. I found God super cool. We're awesome. We're friends.

And then, you know, in 2023, Tanner that you met from Washington, he runs a Bible study. She walks in my apartment and I almost crap my pants. I'm like, there is no way this girl is in my apartment for a Bible study. Genuinely nervous. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah, this is how I introduced myself. I go up to her and I go, hi, I'm Bryce. Nice to meet you.

She goes, hi, I'm Maddie. I said, I know. that's what I said to her. You think I didn't blow up that moment right there? I know. She's probably like, what? Like, you're a weirdo. And I'm like, but I didn't blow, drop the ball.

And then a couple days later, me, Tanner, Maddie and her roommate drove through the night to Phoenix, Arizona, to the closest Waffle House to L.A. And all four of us. Is that true? Got Waffle House. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, on that drive, I was driving and Maddie was in the passenger seat, so we were able to talk and Tanner would say are you tired bro and I'm like no dude no I can drive us the whole

way but it was just because I wanted to get to know Maddie so I was pounded an energy drink so I could stay awake just so you get to know Maddie and you really did the whole night yeah the whole there and back I drove I did not let anyone else drive because I didn't want to stop talking to Maddie tell me love doesn't work tell me right now I love this for I live for these stories but uh but yeah that was that was so crazy because uh yeah but now we're together and she knows who I am now Is, are you older than her? She older? She's slightly older than me by a few months.

Same. My wife's three months older. I'm into older women. Yeah. Wait, when were you born? What's your birthday? Oh, Bryce. 1978.

I didn't mean the year. I was going to save you. Oh, sorry. October 9th. No way. October 22nd. Oh, we're October babies? Yes, October's the best.

And then Maddie's birthday is in July. My wife's birthday is in July. What day? July 18th. That's Maddie's birthday. That's not true. I swear. You promise me?

I swear. Guys, I don't know. Bring in the camera. Like, okay, bring in the camera. What does that even mean? There's no one behind the camera. There's no one. That's insane.

I actually, that is, that is bizarre. I'm sweating profusely right now. July 18th is Maddie's birthday? Yes, yes. Bro, that's wild. Anyways, that is, we're October babies. They're July babies. This is wild.

Because when you said that, I was like, there's no way. But you look. like you were born in October because you're, you know, you're good looking dude, you know. Thank you, bro. You're welcome. October babies, like, I can't say enough good things about them. Yeah, they're the best.

Yeah. They're just, they're electric, for instance. Yes. Yes. Magnetic, likable, approachable. I mean, I just, it just starts coming to me, October. Yeah, this is great. But that's like, that's how, uh, that's, that's kind of how we met.

And, uh, but yeah, I was super nervous. Like, I could not look here in the eyes. How long has it been right now as we talked since you've seen her in person? Like when was the last time I saw her? In person. Last time I saw her in person was yesterday. She lives in L.A. Oh, she moved to L.A.

And I had already been living in L.A. and she moved in with that roommate who was already living in L.A. And then her roommate was like, you want to come to this Bible study? She's like, sure, let's go. She shows up to my apartment. And I almost poop my pants because I'm like, there's no way this girl that thought was so cute since I was a freshman in high school is in my apartment right now.

If I asked you to go on a double date with my wife and I, would you do it? Absolutely. I would totally do that. And so octobers and julyes could be together. Yes. And I'll pay. I'll pay. I already said it. Okay, deal. You can't stop me.

And I'm older, so I'm like supposed to pay. Do you know what I mean? Right. Or else it'd be really weird. Well, yeah, it would be to make like the young guy pay, you know? Yeah. All right, we'll go. And we'll go to one of my favorite spots because I want, what's her name again?

Maddie, Maddie. Is it Amanda or Maddie? Maddie. Her real name's Madeline. Oh. But she goes by Maddie. You're going to love her. Like, she's amazing.

Bro, Madeline? She's the best. And my favorite part about her, and this is why she has shown me God's love in a perspective I've never seen before because, you know how like when you get close to someone, I think you'll be able to relate because you're married and, you know, but like the people closest to you say they see like the nastiest worst of you. And I like, so, you know, being that version of myself in front of someone I'm done deeply in love with is scary to me.

But Mattie's seen every flaw in me. And she still draws closer to me. And that's why I just love her, because I'm like, dang, you just see all my junk. Like, if I need to rant about something, Maddie's the first person I call it. You will not believe what just happened. I had my wallet stolen two weeks ago,

and it had an air tag on it, and we're tracking the guy that's got my wallet, like on find my phone and stuff. And I'm like, I'm like not the awesome, gracious, loving, like, amazing sweet Bryce that everyone sees. I am losing my cool. I'm like, this dude's got my ID. I'm flying in five hours.

I need my ID. I don't even care about the money. I just need my ID. Like, I got all this, this and that. And I just sitting there in the car. Oh, come on. Just trying to be cool. Calm, cool.

We show up and I confront this guy. Get my wallet back. It's so crazy. And then it's like, once I get my wallet, I'm like, man, life's good today, man. Like, you know, the sun's out. Like, I acted like I just was not cool for two and a half hours. and I just loved it because she was so loving to me in the moment.

And then, you know, later on, she's like, hey, you know, like, I love you, but that's not cool. You know, next time maybe, you know, play it cooler, better, you know, maybe be a little bit more. And that's what I love because it's like you can have those hard conversations, but I'm just bragging about Maddie because I don't get to do that often. She sounds incredible. She's the best.

She's the best. That's a great story about five-year-wall. How long ago was that? Two weeks ago. Oh, like literally. This was like not that long ago. It fell out of my pocket and this guy took it and like, like, what an idiot. Like take the air tag's on the front.

Like, dude, just pop the air tag out, like toss it or just take everything out of the wallet and toss the wallet out. But this guy, yeah, he had it. And I was telling Maddie, like, we get there. I'm in the parking lot of this facility. And it was his work. They were working on a Sunday because we were getting ready to go to church. And I realized I lost my wallet and I'm freaking out. And I'm like, all right, Matt.

Maddie, we got to go, we got to go find this. And so I'm in the parking lot, and I'm getting amped up. I'm like, Maddie, I haven't been in a fight since the eighth grade. This dude's about to get it. I'm like, telling him, I'm like, if I see this guy, you're going to fight him. I'm going to fight him. And he's going to get it. And this is going to get it.

And this is that. And we're in the parking lot. And I see this guy. It was crazy because we saw this guy's car earlier. And I was like, maybe it's him, but we knew it was him because his car was there. And I'm like, dude, this guy's going to get it. And I get out and he rolls the window down. I go, hey, bro, you, you, you crazy.

Like, there's totally the opposite of what I said I was going to do. And, and he was like, he was like, he played off like, oh, yeah, I was going to get it to you. Oh, yeah. And he's like pat in his wallet. He's like patting his pants. And then he reaches over and grabs my wallet. And you know what was so crazy was like, I don't carry cash on me. I carry like my credit card, my debit card, my ID.

And then I have all these letters that Maddie has written me that are my favorite in there. And so he had just like, I knew he looked in it. because my stuff was in different places. You know what I mean? But he probably was like, this is the most boring wallet I've ever stolen and was like, here you go, bro.

Like, but, but, but, but, did you still go to church? No, we didn't because it took forever. It took forever. So we were, because if you still went to church, I'd be like, wow, bro,

you really are a saint, but you probably, I'm the worst because we didn't go to church afterwards. No, I think we got some food after because I was so pumped, but like, I didn't, I didn't even know,

like, you could lock your card. I didn't even know that was a thing through an app. Anyways, but, But that was like pivotal moment of like Maddie loving me despite my atrocious breakdown of like somebody's got my wallet. I'm about to rip his vocal cords out. And then I get there and I'm like, oh, hey, bro, awkward.

It says my wallet is in your car right now. I'm sure you don't know that. Yeah. You definitely don't. You didn't give me a weird look when I got out of the car to talk to your boss because you totally didn't know that that was my face on my newly updated ID that I got maybe two months ago. So it looks exactly like me and not like the pre-pubescent 16-year-old getting a Sprade new license.

So, yeah, that was crazy. Pre-pubescent, that's a good word. I look forward to the date night. That's going to be fun. I'm excited, too. I really am. I need dating advice for my kids, too. Do you know what I mean?

2018-15. My youngest is my baby girl. So, God, help me. Yeah, so I'll ask some advice if you don't. mind. That would be fun. If I have any to give, like, sure. Yeah, no, you will. You will. You're living it. So, thank you. Dang, I appreciate you. Thank you for giving me your time for speaking of my heart, man. Like, I never cry. So I was, I was balling my eyes out. So I love crying. But that felt good. That was good. And I'm really grateful you, helping process a lot of moving through. And I know this is going to

impact a lot of people. So thank you. Thank you. Thanks for what you do. And I appreciate you. man. Thank you. Yeah, guys, thank you so much for watching the episode. Guys, please check out Judah and everything. I'm going to link in the description that Jesus loving Barabbas sermon, because when you listen to it, then you guys are going to start preaching verbatim what he's done because I've been doing that, and it's amazing. So, love you, Judah. Thank you so much for the time. Love you guys. Subscribe. See you guys in the next episode.