The Bryce Crawford Podcast - The Sin That Leads To Destruction (EP 12)

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

In this episode, Bryce talks abut gossip and how it ruins friendships. Learn what Gossip is and how to stop!

All right, what's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryce. And today we have a very exciting episode. I'm excited to talk about this one. Don't know how long it's going to be, but it's about gossip. That's why the title is called The Sin that leads to destruction. It's because gossip has become the most normalized sin in America and even in the world.

So we want to talk about it. Before we get into it, I am missing my lava lamp because if you guys watch the podcast, because I knocked over the coffee table and I dropped the line. lava lamp on the floor. So we don't have a lava lamp right now. But I hoping it gets fixed. Anyways, so gossip has become the most normalized sin in America, but it leads to the most destruction. And we're going to talk about what the Bible says about it, what even gossip is, what other people have said about it. But the dictionary definition of gossip really blew me away. It said it's casual conversation that reports about a person, typically involving details that aren't confirmed to be true.

And when I read this definition, two things came to mind. Number one, the fact that it called a casual conversation. And I think that's what disguises gossip and makes it so normalized. It's because it's in our everyday conversations, and it slips in our everyday character. It's casual. But number two, it says involving details typically that aren't confirmed to be true. But when I think about gossip, I can't even remember a single time when gossip's been good. Like when someone actually gossip someone or says something behind someone's back,

hey man did you hear jerry's like a really good dude like you never hear that it's always like oh my gosh did you see that jerry was out to eat with another woman and it wasn't his girlfriend something like that it's probably just his cousin or something you know his sister they don't even know jerry's got a sister but they're just gossiping about someone spreading a rumor it's never good news and proverbs 188 says the words of a whisper are like delicious morsels they go down into the inner parts of the body So sometimes we get bored and we want to entertain ourselves by snacking on some shameful stories. That's what Proverbs is saying. It's calling gossip like delicious morals.

It feeds our body. It goes down in the innermost parts of our body. Because we get bored and we want to entertain our lives. It's like, okay, let me get busy by listening to some gossip or spreading gossip, right? You spice something up. I had a little spice in there. Gossip's spicy and it can entertain you, but it's cheap entertainment. And so the Bible is very clear.

It doesn't directly say gossip, but it describes gossip and it directly correlates it to sin. And it's really interesting. And I saw this definition of gossip on the Desiring God website. And it said the sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone's back with a bad heart. And so when I was reflecting on what gossip is, okay, gossip is always bad news when you really think about it. So then gossip's got to be the opposite of the gospel because the gospel is good news. So when we have to reflect on our character and say, okay, I'm a Christian, but I gossip, then we need to tame our tongue. Because how can we lead other people to Jesus when the Bible says the goodness of God brings man to repentance?

But we're gossiping about our brothers and sisters. And some of you guys can't shut your mouth when you talk about your pastor. Some of you guys can't shut your mouth when you talk about other leaders or pastors, and you don't even know them. You don't even know their heart. But you think you know everything about them so you want to spread God. awesome and lies about them. What's up with that? And just me, like me personally, and my right mind and my right state, I'm not going to talk about another leader unless I know their heart, much less I just don't plan on talking about another leader. That's not my place. I don't want to judge someone

that I don't know. And even if I do know them, I don't want to judge them. And if I really love someone and I care about their heart, then I would go to them and say, hey, bro, I want to challenge you with this. What's your heart behind this issue rather than spreading lies about them behind their back? because I could think I know their heart, but in reality I don't. And who thought that they knew someone's heart when they actually didn't? King Saul. And what does Saul do? King Saul throws spears.

And gossip throws spears at people. I don't want to be a King Saul and throw spears at people because I think I know people's heart. And we know that God is the only being that knows people's heart. God knows your heart better than you know your own heart. That's why King David cries out in the Psalms. He says, search me, oh God and know my heart. And so if you think you know someone better than they know themselves, then you're throwing spears like King Saul. So we have to be careful when we gossip about people. It's always bad news. It's the opposite of the gospel.

Psalm 34 says keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Keep it completely out of your mouth. Stay away from it. Command. Get away from it because we got to see what the Bible says about it. It doesn't matter what I say. What does the Word of God say about this issue? Proverbs 1821. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it, it will eat its fruits. You know what's crazy? It's fruits. So death has fruit and life has fruit. And what you say gets planted in people's mind, whether it's good or bad seed, and it's going to grow. So when you gossip, you water seed in condemnation. But when you don't gossip, you water seed in love. How are we watering and planting seeds in people's life? Gossip is bad seed, and it leads to death.

How are we doing that? Proverbs 1628, a dishonest man spread strife and a whisperer separates close friends. I can't think of anything else that would ruin friendships other than gossip. Reflect on it. Have you lost friends over gossip? Over something silly? And if you don't think no, then reflect on the situation of how you lost friendships and somewhere in between the rumors were spread around that weren't true. Or you're saying, oh, this friend thought I did this thing, but I really didn't. And then this person said this about me, but it wasn't true. That's gossip. So gossip can ruin friendships. And it says close friends, too. So not just any friendship. You're beloved people close to you. Gossip can ruin. And a dishonest man spread strife.

Now, why is gossip normalized? I was reading an article by NBC News. And there was a psychologist who called Gossip one of the best societal forces that brings humanity together and helps maintain societal order. But we see from the Bible and from your personal experiences and from my personal experiences that gossip does nothing but separate us. It does nothing but split. It does nothing but split us. So there really is no good in gossip. But this psychologist is like, oh, like gossip's good for society. Psychology is a study of fallen man. So what am I doing a fallen man listening to the study of fallen man? I need something divine to intervene and show me what's right. And if Jesus is the truth and his character is truth, then I need to seek Jesus on what he says.

And he says, steer your lips away from it. Keep it as far away out of your mouth as you can. Because the power of death and life is in the tongue. And I think it's interesting how we run to other people before we run to the person themselves. If we hear something, you want to know how to cut the source of gossip out. You want to cut the root of gossip out of a conversation. When you hear something before you talk to anyone else, you go to the person that you heard something about and say, hey, friend, one-on-one, I just want to know what this is about. I heard this. I'm not one to gossip.

So I just want to bring it to you and settle the issue right now with you. Whether you started the gossip or not, you want to cut the root out, do that. Approach the person rather than spreading the rumor because when you talk to other people before you talk, to the person that the situation's about, then you're just adding on top of the layers of gossip that it's in. And Matthew 12, Jesus says something very interesting. He calls the Pharisees a brood of vipers. How can you speak good when you are evil?

For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Now, this can be applied to a lot of things. I've noticed when I say, oh, I'm not hurt by something, but I make a joke about something that hurt me, then there's something in my heart that's causing me to make that joke. And so if you gossip, you can say like, oh, I don't really hate that person, but you're gossiping about them. Out of the mouth comes the overflow of the heart. So how do you really feel?

So we've got to ask God to search our heart and root things out of our heart that we don't see. Because you might not think there's an issue in your heart. But if you're really speaking gossip, then there's something in your heart that's causing you to say that stuff. So how do we overcome gossip? The Bible also talks about this too. Ephesians 429. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good. for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear it.

I used to struggle with gossip heavily, and one of my favorite things that has helped me combat that is when I hear gossip, when someone tells me gossip about someone, my first initial response should be to encourage them behind their back to that person. So when someone tells me something negative about someone behind their back, my response to them should be, oh yeah, but Jerry is such a good lover. Like he lays his life down for me all the time. He's such a good friend. and oh, Jerry has been there for me through the hard times, you know?

You don't have to add on to the gossip, but you can kill it with encouragement. So then, this isn't about covering your tracks, but when that rabbit hole of gossip gets brought up to you, it's like, oh, but Bryce didn't never say anything bad. He just, he actually encouraged you behind his back. So when you want to cut gossip out, instead of gossiping and adding on to it, let your first heart posture be to encourage the good in them. even if the gossip you hear may be true to the person's character, I would encourage them behind their back. Because Jesus says to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. So even if someone's character matches up with the gossip that you hear,

still encourage them behind their back. Because that gossip's not going to bring them to repentance. The goodness of God will. And that goodness can shine through you when you talk good about them behind their back, when you encourage them behind their back. And it's a command, Ephesians 4 is a command. let no corrupting talk. It doesn't say, ah, think about having no corrupting talk.

He says, no, don't have any come out of your mouth. Proverbs 21, 23. Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. When has gossip produced anything good? We know from earlier that the fruit that gossip produces is bad fruit. It's like some spoiled milk. Who wants to drink spoiled milk? Nobody wants to drink spoiled milk.

So if you keep your mouth brittled and your dothed, tongue to yourself, you keep yourself out of trouble. And if you really have thoughts and concerns about someone, you'll not only go to them one-on-one, but you'll just go to God. Like, why wouldn't you just talk to God about how you feel? And even if you're in the wrong by talking to God with your attitude or your tone or your heart posture, God's going to correct you on it. So why not just go to the source of life himself? Titus 3-2. To speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, to be gentle and to show perfect courtesy towards all people. Perfect courtesy to all people, even those that have done you dirty.

So if you're someone that's been gossiped about, do you have the faith to love them even though you know that they've done you wrong? Because a lot of gossip, you find out not through the person that gossiped about you. You know someone's been talking bad about you behind your back, but they don't know that you found out. So how's it going to be when you walk past them in the hallway at school, and you know your best friend's been talking smack about you behind your back, but they don't know that you know.

And you walk by them in the hall and they're going to play it cool and act like they don't know what's going on. And you just get to love them and meet them where they're at. And you could just act like you've never even heard the gossip before. Because 1st Corinthians 13 says love keeps no record of wrong. It's powerful. It's really hard when you're the one that's being gossiped about. But when you have the spirit of God inside of you,

you don't have to strive to keep no record of wrong because the spirit of God will let you view that person the way that God sees you. So the greatest commandment is, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. But then after that, it says love your neighbor as yourself. It says love your neighbor as yourself because you say, you're going to be able to love people the way that God sees you, because when you know how God sees you,

then you'll begin to see people for their inherent value in Jesus and know that they're made in the image of God. So when people are gossiping about you and talking smack about you, you can just see them for their value and their worth. And we know that hurting people hurt people. And so there's going to be a time and place where you can one-on-one and just be like, approach them. because the crazy thing about gossip is when you hear you're being gossiped about,

the temptation is going to be to gossip about them. It's going to be like to go to your friends and go, oh my gosh, did you hear Jessica's talking bad about me? You're just adding on to the gossip even more. She started gossiping about you, now you're gossiping about her? What are you going to do when someone's gossiping about you and your friends come to you and go, oh my gosh, have you heard what so-and-so saying about you? And you go, yeah, I have, but I don't really care.

I love her so much. I love him so much. Man, she's just awesome. They might just be hurt. They don't know what's going on. Or, man, you don't even have to say that. You can just be like, yeah, I've heard or no, I haven't heard. But I love him anyways.

Or, no, I haven't heard and I don't care to hear. Or yeah, I've heard a little bit, but I don't want to hear anymore. But you have no idea. You won't believe what she said, yeah, I just, I don't care. I really love them, though. And, oh, you know, whether she's doing that or not, she's just such a good friend. And I remember this one time when we were together that they did this thing. Oh, they just were really there.

I remember this one time when my girlfriend broke up with me, and he was just there for me through the whole time. And so you guys might think he's doing me wrong, but I can just remember the good that he's done for me. And I just want to remember the good because our initial thought with gossip, and a lot of times when we hear about bad situations, we believe the worst for someone immediately. It's like, oh, no, something's going on,

so I'm just going to assume the worst for someone. But if we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, then I want to be able to believe the best for someone. and if our brothers and sisters around us claim to be Christian and someone's saying oh someone's talking bad about you I don't want to believe that about someone I want to believe the best in them I want the Holy Spirit of me to believe in the Holy Spirit in them

go oh man no you know it's cool man love keeps no record of wrong I just I love them and they've been such a great friend and you know even if they are gossiping about me I don't really care what they say I just love them and oh are you still going to go to her birthday this week yeah I got her this super cool gift too I'm excited give it to her love doesn't withhold

so that's going to be the biggest challenge is God's love is sacrificial love laying your life down for someone so when people are gossiped about you are you going to be cool with laying your life down for them it's a hard check last verse I got is James 1 19 through 20 and it says know this my beloved brothers let every person be quick to hear

and slow to speak slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God I've noticed that one of the root causes of gossip is anger. Like when people are angry or frustrated about a situation, they start gossiping and spreading rumors because they don't know what else to do, and they get frantic. But James says, if you're quick to hear and slow to speak,

then you'll be slow to anger. And he tells us to be slow to anger, but when we're quick to listen and slow to speak and we keep our tongue, because what does it say earlier, it says whoever keeps his mouth and keeps his tongue, keeps himself out of trouble. so if we're slow to speak, quick to listen, then we can discern the truth. But when our ears are cut off and we're yapping too much,

then we're going to get lost in the translation of things, and we're just going to get caught in the swirl of what is the truth. We're not going to know what's true. So I don't know how long this episode's been, but I want to close this out with a prayer for God to search our heart. And this isn't just for you guys listening. This is even for me. because at the end of the day

we don't know our own heart better than God knows our heart and so every night there should be a daily act of you going into your bedroom shutting your door saying God search my heart I just want to be pure and clean and every day your level of holiness increases for me you call me higher everyday Jesus

and so I just want to make sure my heart is clean and pure in your sight and this is for me too and I said something earlier that I really want to hone in on for a moment but the King Saul issue Like bro throws spears If you gossip you throw spears And King David was who

A man after God's own heart But Saul got jealous Was worried he was going to overthrow him So then he starts spreading rumors about other people Listen this Ooh this is so good So there's a story about Moses Leading the Israelites in the desert

Moses wakes up one morning Not a single person in Israel has an issue with Moses By the end of the day, 300 people have the same issue with Moses. Someone got up and spreaded a false rumor about Moses and had 300 people in Cora against Moses. And they're trying to overthrow him, and they were going to kill Moses for an issue that wasn't true.

And what happened? Moses didn't throw spears at them. Moses didn't gossip back at them. What did he do? He fell on his face and prayed. And God shmided all 300. of them. Really intense. But then what happened after that? All of Israel gets mad at Moses again for a false accusation. And what happens? Moses intercedes on their behalf. It's like a Jesus moment

where Jesus is like, Father, forgive them, for they just don't understand. It's like Moses is pleading on their behalf, but they're just lost. They're confused. And so God actually spares Israel because God was going to protect Moses. Moses didn't throw spears. But Saul did. Do you want to throw spears or not? King David didn't. King David dodged spears. And King David even had a chance to kill Saul, but he didn't. Not only that, but even when Saul passed, David still honored the lineage of Saul. So what are you going to do when people gossip about you years down the road,

or the same rumor still floating around? How are you going to handle it? You're going to keep throwing spears because that's going to make you tired. You're just going to give it to God and learn how to dodge spears. Because David wasn't looking at the thrower of the spear to dodge it. He was just running, running towards Jesus, and running towards the Father. And what I love about King David is when he was a shepherd boy, he used to sing songs to the Lord. And so when gossip's thrown your way, when strife and rumors are thrown your way, lift in a Roma to heaven,

sing to Jesus and worship him and know that he's true in his character. And God will guide you in your circumstance and give you wisdom in all of your situations. This is just, advice for any situation, not just gossip. But if you need wisdom for something, James says, if anyone lacks wisdom, ask God, he'll give it to you. That's pretty straightforward. You need wisdom on something? Ask God, he'll give it to you.

Pretty simple. So we're going to pray that God searches our heart and God gives us wisdom and he withholds our tongue. And I'm going to ask God to make us quick to hear and slow to speak and slow to anger. Jesus, I thank you for people watching and listen to this. God, I just pray right now that you will make us quick to hear, slow to speak, slow

to anger. God, I just pray for anyone's situation, if anyone's being gossiped about or if anyone's gossiping, God, I just lift that up to you and have you deal with it. In Jesus' name, God, I thank you for everyone listening to this. God, will you just give us wisdom in any circumstance? Your words says, if anyone likes wisdom, ask you and you'll give it to us. So, God, give us wisdom, give us peace. We love you, Jesus. We thank you for loving us so well. Thank you for your son. In Jesus' name, amen. Guys, thank you so much for watching and listening to this podcast. If you like the episodes, subscribe to us on YouTube, follow us on Spotify and Apple Music.

guys we even have an Instagram account Bryce Crawford podcast you guys can follow you guys can watch the podcast clips so if you love the whole episode share the whole episode to your friends but if there's a specific part that you liked it's probably on the Instagram and you can share it with your friends share it to your feed if you love it and I just love clarifying this but these words aren't mine we love the Bible we love the emphasis of the word but anything that you hear on here we're asking God to speak through us you say God just speak through I don't want to say anything that's not of you And that should be our heart posture. And that goes along with gossip. I don't want to say anything that's not of you. Gossip's not of him. So take that with you. Guys, we love you and we'll see you next time.