The Bugle - April Fools!

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

Hello Buglers! While Andy is off bringing his unique brand of satirical Irish language rap and extremely English-sounding spoken word to Dublin and Belfast, we wouldn’t dream of leaving you without your dose of hot takes on global news!This week, we’re diving into Top Stories, our show that revisits the history of The Bugle, one headline at a time. And since April is upon us, We’ve handpicked three classic April episodes for your listening pleasure:🎤 Bugle 149 – #CrucifyBieber (April 2011): A certain pop icon makes an unexpected cameo in the Middle East.💰 Bugle 267 – Gaining My Religion: The UK Government’s relentless pursuit of austerity meets a dance as old as time.🐼 Bugle 4148 – Panda Time (April 2020): Alice Fraser, Al Murray, and I try to stay sane at the height of lockdown.There are hundreds more Top Stories waiting for you—dive into the feed and enjoy! And remember, The Bugle exists because of you—head to thebuglepodcast.com to support the show.We’ll be back next week!Episode produced by Laura Turner and Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hello strangers, I'm Alice Fraser, your guide to the galaxy's goblins, dungeons and dystopias. We'll be hurling ourselves into an all-weekly hero's journey through realms unknown into the dark but sensual heart of all our favourite speculative fictions. We'll navigate the wild realms created by brilliant authors, filmmakers, game designers and more. New episodes drop every week on your podcast app or on YouTube. Do not resist the call to adventure, Chosen One. Join me for Realms Unknown.

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello Bugles and welcome to issue 4,335 sub-episode I for I'm on tour in Ireland and unable to record a bugle this week. I have however been to the Titanic Museum in Belfast, very good it was, in a striking building but disappointingly not nearly as big as I had assumed it would be. I had assumed only 10% of it would be visible above the surface and the other 90% underground, but it wasn't. It was all at the ground level and above. Opportunity missed, I feel. But of course, the lack of full bugle doesn't mean that we will leave you without

some hot takes on the biggest new stories in the world. It's just they're going to be old ones. This week we have a show celebrating the history of the bugle and the world since October 2007, one top story at a time. It's called Top Stories, suitably enough. It has its own feed and there are mountains of bugle gems that you can dig your way through whilst doing whatever you do whilst listening to podcasts. I'm not gonna judge.

So as we're just about to enter April, we present to you three collated April bugle classics for you. Before we get into those, some important housekeeping. The bugle only exists because you, yes, you, the listeners, help it to. Please go to thebuglepodcast.com if you want to join our voluntary subscription scheme

to help keep this show free, flourishing, and independent for the rest of all eternity, which is currently looking like less of a long-term commitment than would be ideal. Anyway, let's start with a classic, top story from Bugle 149 back in the John Oliver days, which was titled, hashtag, crucify Bieber. Yeah, picture the scene, it's April 2011,

and a pop icon makes a surprising cameo in the Middle East. Top story this week, Middle East update, the forgotten countries. Andy, the international news has been dominated by Libya all this week due to the fact that we as NATO have been trying to bomb some freedom into it. And it's been all Gaddafi said this, Gaddafi said that, Gaddafi did this to his civilian population with that. And it's all definitely newsworthy, no one's denying that, it's just that there are other countries in the Middle East that we're not giving our physical or indeed mental attention to that are

also deserving of being discussed. What about the plucky countries that no one's really talking about? The forgotten Middle East, if you will. Your Israels, your Syrians, your United Arab Emirates's. What are those crazy little bastards up to? Well, let's take a look. Israel! Jews news! Israel is currently spending its days shitting itself at the moment over the situation all around it, which is not very different at all from how it's been spending its last half a century. But there was even more instability than usual coming out of the, oh come on, you promised land this week.

Justin Bieber, the floppy haired, asexual object of affection for teenage girls around the world, was visiting Israel this week and unwittingly stumbled into something of a diplomatic snafu. He was scheduled to have a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, but it was called off at the last minute with both sides differing on why. Now, before we delve much further into this story Andy, let's not gloss over what's a very important fact. Let's not bury the lead here, which is that, before it was cancelled, Benjamin Netanyahu was scheduled to have a meeting with Justin Bieber.

We all live in a world where that nearly happened. Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, very nearly had a meeting with Justin Bieber, 17 year old singer boy. Is this how far from a peace agreement we now are we're just throwing beaver at the wall hoping he sticks well it's not so that's not that's not so new is it i mean

that's not that forget the gold amir had a meeting with donnie osmond early seventies to be fair to him john he's not the first young heartthrob in the Holy Land to endure a mixture of public adulation and official interference. But I just hope he has a more effective legal team than some of his more illustrious predecessors. I don't know much about Justin Bieber John, he's just a name to me. I have to look him up on Wikipedia, famous for hits such as Baby and the follow-up single Toddler. And if you play his hit single Baby backwards, it quite explicitly states that Justin Bieber will only date committed and certifiable Zionists,

but he has a tattoo of Ariel Sharon on his back, and that he thinks Israel should extend their settlement programme into other areas, including Jordan, Turkey and Iowa although whether he knew that when he was singing it or if he was just stitched up by my people who of course run the entire entertainment industry we don't know we've got it stitched up John. As proved by my unending run of success in primetime British television. You are a one-man argument against anti-semitism Andy. A spokesman for Benjamin Netanyahu said that he'd been approached with the idea of a meeting and the Prime Minister had been, I quote, open to that. See

straight away that is surprising Andy. I would have thought that if someone asked the Prime Minister of a major country located in one of the most violent flashpoints on the planet whether he wanted to meet Justin Bieber he would be closed to that or at the very least his instinctive question would be why? Why exactly would I do that? I have a lot to do with my day. Apparently the Prime Minister's office suggested including children from communities in southern

Israel that have been under intense rocket fire from Gaza in recent days. But the spokesman said that proved impossible because Biba's representatives had turned down the idea of including the children. Wow. So the special Biba summit was scuppered over the situation in Gaza. I guess that isn't much of a surprise Andy, when you think about it so many of Justin Bieber's lyrics are based around the current affairs in Gaza and the West Bank. You've talked about what it's like when you play it backwards, never mind that Andy, look at what it's like when you play it forwards. Look at that hit baby. If you

just imagine that the subject of the song is Gaza and the Palestinian territories, it's clearly a song trying to win that land back. Here's how it goes. You know you love me. I know you care. Just shout whenever and I'll be there. You are my love. You are my heart. And we will never, ever, ever be apart.

That clearly speaks to the determination of hardline Israelis' complete refusal to agree to a two-state solution. Bieber doesn't stop there Andy, he goes on saying, are we an item? Go, substitute that for Gaza, quit playing. We're just friends, what are you saying? Said there's another and looked right in the eyes. My first love broke my heart for the first time. Now that's a little poetic license from Biba there Andy. I don't think he's suggesting by any means that this is the first time the Jewish people in their history have had their hearts broken. But he continues saying, and I was like, baby, baby, baby, oh, I thought you'd always be mine, mine.

Why did he think that Andy? Why was he so sure? Because the land was promised to Moses, Andy. That's what Bieber cannot get his head around in the plaintiff chorus of that song. It's all there. It's all there. In another Twitter message, Bieber wrote, I want to see this country and all the places I've dreamed of, and whether it's the paps or being pulled into politics, it's been been frustrating and he was quoting there directly from George W Bush on a visit to Iraq in 2003 and Bieber might have a postgraduate diploma in brushing his hair but he could not punctuate his way out of a wet paper bag John there was a frankly distressing lack of commas not to mention the apostrophes that should be there.

I mean, he's at least, he's three apostrophes down. It's absolute f***ing disgrace. I would f***ing nail him up if I had the chance. This just, this just goes to show- Crucify Bieber, it's got to be done. Well, there's a hashtag for Twitter. Well, there's a hashtag for Twitter. This just goes to show how crazy pop singers get, Andy. With all that adulation, all those fans, your ego is inflated to the extent that even as a 17-year-old boy,

you find yourself watching the news on CNN and thinking, well, the Middle East has been in turmoil for thousands of years now and there just seems no hope of a solution on the horizon. What can I do? What can I, Justin Bieber, do? What can I, 17 year old Canadian singer boy Justin Bieber do, to not only help but solve this intractable problem forever. Sure, I could keep singing and dancing and releasing hit albums, or I, Justin Bieber, could get the Prime Minister of Israel on the phone and enter into direct negotiations myself. You know what, I'm going to do it. And also, you know what, I hope he's successful, Andy. I hope that Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, can bring peace to that reason.

Would I be surprised? Yes, but would I be happy tremendously? Plus, here's the thing, it could actually work and here's how. If either Netanyahu or Abbas have 12 year old daughters, because there is no greater weak point for any father than when it comes to doing something for their daughters. And if Bieber can somehow leverage the affection Netanyahu and Abbas have for their little girls, I think he could get them to make major concessions on both sides and there could actually be genuine peace. Well, I'd love to come and do a private concert for you and your friends, but only if

you can convince Daddy to allow Jerusalem to be governed by a third party. Appropriately enough for fans of Ian Botham in the 1981 Ashes series between England and Australia we're jumping forward from Bugle 149, another 118 episodes. That might be the most niche cricket reference I've ever made. To bugle 267. The UK government were after people's benefits in a dance as old as time stroke austerity itself. This episode was entitled Gaining My Religion. Top story this week, the grateful not quite dead. And tensions are a big problem and due to the inconvenient fact that people are just refusing to die at the most fiscally convenient time for society and seeing as

the government of the UK is hamstrung by not being able to legally order a mandatory cull of all people older than 75, they're having to come up with some outside of the coffin solutions and it's going to take a bold plan, but perhaps not this bold, because the UK Pensions Minister, Steve Webb, in the future, pensioners in Britain will be given estimates of how long they have left to live to help them manage their savings. He argues that most people underestimate how long they'll live, resulting in poor financial projections. So experts will apparently now look at factors such as smoking, eating habits, and socioeconomic

backgrounds when determining approximate life expectancy. I'm presuming that this has been relatively controversial over there, Andy, because there was an outcry here when it was suggested that Obamacare was going to include death panels, even though there was no suggestion of that inside it whatsoever. But this is an actual government suggestion, there's not even death panels, it's death fortune tellers. Well I mean we would have been up in arms about it John had we not spent every single day of our national life looking at pictures of Kate Middleton looking quite pretty on the front of newspapers so

it's been slightly buried by this, but I think it's fine. I'd like the government to go much further and just basically give us a precise death day that we can all plan towards. It's good to have certainty in death as in life. There's a factor, as you say, smoking, eating habits and socioeconomic background background those three factors would make a pretty socially revealing Venn diagram but there must be other factors as well that play into how long you're going to live such as you know are you a total dick that people might want to bump off or are you easily riled or with an addiction to fast cars who knows it's very encouraging news the government's recent budget seemed

largely aimed at getting pensioners to blow as much of their economic safety nets as necessary on impulse buys. Why fork out hundreds of thousands of pounds to stay for years and years in a nursing home waiting for the merciful rabbit punch of death when you could drive a Lamborghini around for a few months and then just sleep rough until you freeze to death. And also, given the new Christian Slam this government appears to be taking, more of which later, I think it's good that they let people know when they're going to shuffle off the mortal cold to meet their maker so they can work out for the last few months, you know, just trim down for a couple of months so they look good at the

pearly gates. I know it shouldn't make a difference, John, to whether or not you get into eternal bliss, but we all know it does. People don't vote for beards and God loves a six-pack. Look at Jesus. Absolutely ripped to the crumpets, he was, the lad. Clearly trying to impress his dad. There's no need, though, Andy, for this consultation, even to be face-to-face with an insurance representative.

It should be entirely possible just to have a government robot come to your house. You input your information on a keypad attached to its stomach and it will shit out a piece of paper with a number on it and that is when you'll probably die. And there is nothing at all chillingly dystopian about any of this happening. Either that or make this a great public spectacle. Announce people's numbers on TV

like a lottery upon their retirement. Here are your death dates. Mike Barnaby of Dorset, 72. Congratulations Mike. Enjoy the next seven years. Dawn Buckland of Chester, 93. Oh, huge number for you Dawn. Congratulations and commiserations. That feels a little too long. And last name out of the hat Ian Prince of Lancaster 66 have a great year and live it like it's your last which statistically it will be well still there's still a bit of uncertainty John because I mean I think I think needs to be definite there was a very interesting article on this in publication it's very close to my heart the the Actuarial Post, in which a financial expert

talking about life expectancy and financial planning says, It's vital to understand that this is just an average figure. At the end of the day, it's still impossible to say with complete certainty whether an individual will die tomorrow or live to receive a telegram from the Queen. I don't know if he said that in a slightly sinister voice, suggesting that he's about to bump someone off. But I think just give it time, John. Science, the fearsomely unstoppable c*** that it is, will soon sort this out for us. We'll know exactly when.

And the government should be doing this. As just as they judge everything else, they should be judging it by virtue. It shouldn't be down to lifestyle choices. It should be down to financial utility to the British nation. They should be sitting people down saying, well, Mr. Fruggin, you've earned very healthily in your chosen careers and investment, nay Bob, tick, you've sent your children to private school, tick, private healthcare, tick, congratulations, you've barely cost the state a penny, you can have another 33 years, pop back with a 98 with a chosen method of death please, preferably

not one of the messy ones, do enjoy your retirement. Now Mrs. Glap, oh dear, someone's had a tough life, haven't they Mrs. Glap? Five kids, all through the state sector, lots of stresses and strains, judging by the number of times you've been in and out of hospital, that's an awful lot of benefits you've needed to look after your offspring and well you haven't drunk or smoked or driven a car, so not even contributing that much to the exchequer in taxes, tot it up how old are you now 65 oh dear that's your lot hard luck Edna please bring a glass of water and five tablets for mrs. glap you're allowed one last phone call I think you should find out when you're going to die on the day that you die Andy from a telegram from the Queen. Basically, you should have an envelope from Buckingham Palace

with a handwritten note inside saying, you die today. That's the best way to have it. So Steve Webb, the government's grim mathematical reaper, has suggested that the insurance company should use all of these factors right down to hereditary factors and post codes to pin down a rough date of death. And the concern is that that date may actually be longer than most people think.

Life expectancy is rising steadily in the UK. Females are now projected to live until 82.7 years on average. Males around 78.9 years. And why did the government stop there, Andy? Why didn't they just ask people to sign a death guarantee? I promise to be dead by this time because that seems to be what we're all dancing around. Like you say, we will support you until such time as you are not economically viable after which time we fully expect you to trampoline yourself off a cliff. The correlation between economic background and life expectancy is depressingly clinical

and it is absolutely the case here in the US too. There are impoverished parts of this country where the average male life expectancy is 64 years old, which is less than Iraq. That is not a great non-war zone number in a fully developed country. In England, estimates suggest that the girl born today in Dorset can expect to live to 86.6 years on average, 14 years longer than a boy born in inner city Glasgow. Because in Glasgow, which has the lowest figure for both men and women, it's 72.6 and 78.5 respectively. And I guess the lesson there is, Andy, if you're running out

of pension, you're struggling to get by, just move to inner city Glasgow and they will finish you off. It's like euthanasia. What I'm saying, what I'm saying Andy is living in Glasgow is mathematically tantamount to assisted suicide. That's not me saying that, that's numbers Andy, numbers. I've had gigs in Glasgow that have certainly felt that way. Numbers Andy, numbers. I've had gigs in Glasgow that have certainly felt that way. Time for one more top story on this sub-episode and we're racing forward in time now to April 2020. I was joined by Alice Fraser and Al Murray desperately trying to find a way to occupy

our time and brains at the height of lockdown. This is from issue 4148, Panda Time. With lockdown now in full swing across many parts of the world, what do you do other than listening to each week's episodes of The Bugle and The Last Post ten times over and analysing the hidden messages within? Well, luckily for you, The Bugle this week gives you a smorgasbord of ideas for things for you to do alone, with your housemates, partners, with your family or with the increasingly awkward door-to-door salesperson

who called it very much the wrong time just as lockdown was being imposed and is now stuck in your house for the foreseeable future, along with the 18 sets of double-glazed patio doors that he has persuaded you to buy. Alan, can we please talk about something else? Have I mentioned the advantages of a buy-fold door? F*** you, Alan. I want you to leave. So we have an entire week of activities planned out to keep you busy and active and stimulated to fill the aching void in your daily

schedule. Monday's activity is navel gazing. It's not often you get the time and opportunity to clear the introspective decks enough to indulge in a prolonged bout of self-indulgent reflection on exactly what you're doing with your life. So take this opportunity to spend a full afternoon really sinking into a soup of regret, doubt and worry like a not especially comforting te-comforting tepid bath. And the great thing with navel gazing is that it's not something you can get done in a day and then put to one side. It can keep you occupied and entertained for weeks and weeks on end through the interminable human permafrost of lockdown.

Tuesday. Existential dread. This is a genuine family activity. Gather round and think about all the implications for the world, all the things that have gone so disastrously wrong as a result of decisions we've made or not made in the past, and the things that are likely to go disastrously wrong as a result of the decisions we're making now and will make in the future. Don't worry if your dread is interrupted by occasional eruptions of wild optimism about forging a new, more collaborative, more humane world order. This is perfectly natural, and all part of the process of coming to the conclusion that we are, in fact, totally doomed. Wednesday. Midlife crisis. Consolidate all your activities from Monday's

naval gazing and Tuesday's existential dread into a full-blown midlife crisis. It doesn't even matter if you are in the traditional midlife age zone, everyone's life is currently at the mid-stage between pre-virus and post-virus, so legally it counts as a midlife crisis, however old you are. Panic about your personal future, priorities, values, philosophy of life, finances, political views, status, prospects, ambitions, hopes, fears, relationships and general spiritual id. And don't forget to take regular breaks for snacks, meals, hydration and looking at the sky wondering what the f*** it's all about. Thursday, bickering. Much as we love our families, there are only so many board games, sing-alongs,

film nights, biscuit bakings, experimental poetry recitals, seances and educational dissections of the mouse corpse you found at the back of the cupboard you finally got round to clearing out of a decade's worth of accumulated junk that any family can take. So pep up the day with some trivial arguments. Allow those simmering irritations that have been bubbling up to boil over into genuine rancour. A well-structured day of squabbling will encompass a mixture of ephemeral snap grudges, peevish oversensitivity to mild criticism, long-held gripes and groundless resentments about nothing in particular. You might like to consider having a go at one of your cohabitors, family or otherwise, for, for example, not finishing their sentences, eating salad too noisily, working in the international arms trade, or being the kind of person who might work in the international arms trade,

or building a shrine to the 1960s pop legend's Herman's Home It's On The Sofa Without Full Written Permission. Anything to get the squabble going, then riff it from there for as long as it takes until you get a solid week's peace and quiet from each other. And Friday, paganism. Locked down is a great time to learn new skills, and in these times of cosmic uncertainty, why not get back to human basics with an introductory home course in the basics of pagan worship. Online lessons are available covering everything from basic incantations via effective and hygienic sacrificing to entry-level hinging begin with paper then move up to cardboard within a few days, wood in a week or two progressing all the way to stone

inside six weeks. Also consider exorcisms, a great way to bond as a family unit and cleanse the spirits of your loved ones plus have some hilarious stories to share afterwards about the paroxysms of spiritual excess that the exorcism went through as the demons left their bodies. And finally for the weekend, Saturday, whimpering on the sofa, you've made it to the weekend, relaxed and spent the day in a fag of low-level misery on the couch. And Sunday, making vague plans that you have no realistic hope of actually putting into action, but the negativity of the past week behind you by thinking about stuff that you might do in the future before giving up on that and watching a TV cop show.

That is your bugle guide to how to keep busy during the lockdown well i'm picking a historical period by which to live each week matching my diet manners and acceptable thoughts to think to the period i've chosen this week it's been the regency period i spent yesterday in epistolary correspondence and today planning a ball very strong i mean this is one of the few occasions where you can say things were better and today planning a ball. Very strong. I mean, this is one of the few occasions where you can say things were better in the old days. It's actually viable to be actively nostalgic. And it doesn't even have to be the old days,

it could be four weeks ago. Things were better for, you know, we're actually, if you're into nostalgia, fill your boots, your moment's here, this is your moment. I'm just beating myself up over missed chances all the, all the times, even four weeks ago that I could have just breathed on someone with impunity. I feel sad that I'm...

Well, that's one of the joys to look forward to and all this is behind us, the freedom to just go up and breathe on a stranger without repercussion. We take stuff for granted don't we in life. I just want to be Aslan in the BBC version of the line, the witch in the wardrobe. What, a giant glove puppet? You did some great breathing Aslan. Is that not what we all are? You did.

Is that not what we all are, Al? I don't know what you've got up your butt. Giant glove puppets on the hand of fate. Top story this week, the virus again. It's getting slightly irritating to have to keep coming back to this but there is literally no other news in the universe currently. How short a period ago was it when we were sick of Brexit and Trump and now it's, I would have given anything to not have to talk about Brexit or Trump anymore. And now, when Trump's managed to get himself pretty well.

Well, Trump, yes, Trump has managed, I mean, God bless him. He's managed to find a way through to in this story, isn't he? To cut through regardless. It's his unique ability, isn't it? It's no matter what the calamity is he's on hand to um find his way to the very center of the story and make it about him this is sort of um heroic really um on on some i mean that's not how the historians are going to write it up but at the moment um uh it's sort of it's sort of extraordinary isn't it you know uh uh because i was listening to the Today program the other morning and he did call it a hoax,

didn't he? He did call it a hoax. And there was some US spokesman going, he didn't call it a hoax. He's like, come on, let him just say, yeah, he did call it a hoax. Because he's so capable of operating in a way that it doesn't matter if he called it hoax or not it just is extraordinary he lives in this 24 hour cycle every day is a new day if you're Donald Trump is fantastic he's got snapchat for a brain once something said it just evaporates into the mist of time

it's gone it's long gone never to return yeah it's fantastic well it's a means how you have it you have a small child yes it's one of the great privileges of being a child that you can flatly deny having said things clearly said and we've seen this with with from those further evidence as to the extent to which he is essentially a child the director general of the World Health Organization at Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus urged governments not to politicize the pandemic. It's not too difficult to work out exactly which governments he was most issuing this plea to. On Wednesday he said, we will have many body bags in front of us

if we don't behave. Now that use of of the word behave it kind of made it clear that he was in essence speaking to a child yeah unless he'd said to mr. Trump directly look father Christmas is not gonna come unless we have a coherent international effort well you know I mean the thing is you're absolutely right there Alice you, to talk about anything other than Donald Trump. But like, the worst that could happen until the coronavirus was Donald Trump. And now the worst that can happen is Donald Trump and the coronavirus.

Yes, it's cumulative. There's no indulgence as like the Catholic Church, trying to wipe out one wrong with the right. And he's literally catalytic, isn't he? He increases the reaction without changing himself. A bit of science. A bit of science for you there. Lovely. It is, I mean, strange. Britain has had no Prime Minister this week, as we will touch on later, and America has had no President for a long time. So effectively, Donald Trump has abdicated, but remains in office.

He resigned, to all intents and purposes, but still has to pretend to do his job. He's had considerable criticism, as you'd expect, from the, uh, the, uh, non-Trumpian media. Um, the columnist Q Julius Schlossnitz in the esteemed shut up the Nattera wrote American democracy is spluttering for breath begging for the oxygen of decency leadership and good sense the political protective equipment of its Constitution bunged into an incinerator and replaced with a tattered pissed stained flag not my words the words of someone I just

made up this week blasted through his 17,000th presidential pardon for himself for voluntary manslaughter arising from this crisis. Now, he wouldn't have been necessarily guilty of all of them, but I guess better safe than sorry when it comes to these things. He offered Boris Johnson, this stricken British leader, some of his free medicine. I can't remember exactly what he said to Boris Johnson, the stricken British leader, some of his free medicine, his... I can't remember exactly what he said to Boris Johnson. Four drug... I said four really great drug companies. Everyone says they're the most amazing drug companies in the world. I sent them to the doctors, got really good doctors

around and sent them. That's what he said. He didn't name them. I mean, it's so brilliantly bonkers. Four of them. Okay, not three, not five. Four unnamed drug companies. It sounded to me something like this. It's quite strange to see the President of America peddling scam cures, essentially. This is unprecedented since Calvin Coolidge tried to convince America that bunions could be cured by marinating your foot in a strawberry milkshake, or Ulysses S. Grant-promoted snakes to cure for worms. Well, I hope you've enjoyed these top stories from the Bugle Archive. There are several hundred more of these for you to enjoy enjoyed these top stories from the Bugle Archive. There are several

hundred more of these for you to enjoy in your top stories feed right now. We will be back with a full bugle next week. Until then, goodbye.