The Bugle - Bonus Bugle – Andy on tour

Episode Date: May 14, 2018

Radiotopia are on tour. Andy has asked a friend to contribute.Plus, some classic royal wedding Bugle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello, Bugle is welcome to Buga 4,067 Sub-episode A for American Tour audio diary. There is no full Buda this week, but we do have an exclusive peak behind the scenes on the just-completed Radio Tokyo Live East Coast tour thanks to all Budaers who came to those shows. And thanks to those of you who will be coming to the 4th coming shows starting this week in San Francisco, Tuesday the 15th, Portland on Thursday the 17th and Seattle on Saturday the 19th. They're off to several shows in Britain through the summer. Clearly, the last 10 days have had their fair share of news, what with Mr Trump continuing to be

the Kalashnikov-Wielding bull strafing the China shop of international relations. Then we've got Israel and Iran having a cheeky little budding budong in Syria, just as the ordinary people of Syria were presumably thinking. While it's getting a bit dull around here, I'll tell you what we could do with our two most powerful neighbours trying to start a war with each other on our land. We've had it too good, too long. But fortunately for the beautiful, as a British origin podcast, nothing else matters right now because a royal Princelicious by weddling is coming to save the universe. Who gives a shit about all the

other shit? When we're about to add a new princess to our roster of magic spandey-hatted ladies, its royal wedding time next Saturday, news can snooze. The government's fumbling through the thorny maize of Brexit to make sure we can find just the right products and guns with which to shoot ourselves in the foot in accordance with the will of the people trademark. They are of no matter. Are you worried about America provocationizing the Middle East by moving its embassy to Jerusalem? Well, as the old saying goes, if you're going to f*** a bee's nest, you might as well coat your plonker and honey.

Is that the right one? Well, the point is, it doesn't matter anymore, because the wedding is coming to save us all, maybe they'll even have royal babies. Anything that knocks Boris Johnson even further down the succession charts is absolutely fine by me. He's currently only a medium to high level nuclear catastrophe away from it, and with the way the world is now, you can never be too careful these days. Sure, I'm taking a hit to my own monocking ambitions, but it's not about me, it's not what's good for Britain and good for the world. Anyway, later in the show to mark the impending Royal Nupchils which we will cover in full. On next week's bugle, we will look back into our archives to the last time one of Prince

Charles's two sons married way back in 2011. But first it's time to give you a little taste of life on the road with my fellow radio topians, with my Universe Exclusive Radio Topia Live 2018 audio tour diary narrated by Friend of the Show, Jervel Wenge. Here's part one, covering the first three days of the tour. The radio to be alive East Coast tour 2018. The show is event of this or any other millennium. The universe's leading podcasting minds have been brought together for six shows that will surely come to be viewed as one of the great landmarks in human creativity. Alongside Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceiling, the music of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,

Test match cricket, and the chicken nugget. The tour begins. The radio topia private jet lands in Atlanta, Georgia. Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia, where we have just landed. As you've been told. On the tarmac, a crowd of podcast fans is waiting expectantly. And his ultimate is from the Bugle podcast. Yeah, it's like this everywhere you go as a podcaster these days, it does get intrusive, but you just have to learn to live with it. It's 30 minutes to curtain up time, show time. Team Captain Roman Mars, from the 99%

invisible podcast, founder of the Radio Topia Network, wants to make sure this show goes well. As you would know if you've tortoise to start strongly, so he is calling upon the great god Jupiter to grant us a good show in Atlanta tonight and to that end he is sacrificing 100 ahead of oxygen. Day 2, the radio-topia tour bus. Inside, everyone is settling down for the long drive to Durham, North Carolina. After an emotionally and physically draining first show in the Grand Finale, a daring and it must be said, strikingly risque, cabaret inspired motorcycle pyramid, ended in what can only be described

as a significant incident with the front five rows of the crowd. The tech team have gone on ahead to install a protective moat in a theater in Durham. But for the podcasters, it's time to hit the road. Bus driver Juan Pablo Montoya, two-time winner of the Indianapolis 500, former star of Formula One and Indicare racing, has been hired to ensure rapid transit between the venues.

It is a great honor to be driving so many of my favourite podcasters around. I am going to drive especially quickly as a mark of my respect for their work. It is now two hours into the journey and his ultimate is getting bored. We've been on the road for a hundred and twenty-one minutes now. I'm going to have a look to see what's going on in the back section of the tour bus. Well, this is inevitably what happens when you let podcasts out of the studio. There's just no way around it. It's now been five hours on the road, and even for a driver as experienced and Colombian

as Juan Pablo Montoya, concentration can be hard with a bus full of podcast stars. Austria! Can everyone please keep a little bit quieter? And for having a sake, put some clothes on. Support for the Bule is brought to you by Simply Safe, home security done right, which is incredibly frustrating for me having spent most of the last 10 years as a secret cat burglar. A lot of cats. Simply safe is really discreet and hard to notice, adding hours to my cats dealing planning. Windows and doors are comprehensively protected. Do you expect me to come down the chimney? Simply safe's power backups may not can't even take you off the grid to execute my master plan. Learn more about how simply safe

can help protect your home and your cat. Go to simplysafe.com slash bugle that is simply safe.com slash bugle. Day 3. Washington DC, capital of the United States. The radio topia squad goes to the official tour function and receives a special welcome. Hello everybody, I'm from OREG. The Otope Pier... I want to begin by saying it's my pleasure to welcome so many great broadcasters to the White House as we prepare for this truly historic OREG. The Otope Pier appear for life shown. And I want to thank in particular,

Man Mars from 99% Convincible. Thank you. Man for being here. That's a great honor. Thank you. Good. I love podcasts. I listen to them literally all the time. In fact, a lot of the way deotope here podcasts are right in my alley almost as if they were made just for me. Like the the collusionist 99% uncensical, the selective memory palace, and of course, criminal, most of the American people hope that one day soon they will do the whole episode of criminal just about me. I like the entire radio to appear stable of contests. The part from the BUDO, which is huge piles of ships, so much of it was false, I consider it a work of fiction.

And I think it's a disgrace that somebody's able to do something like that. Helen is a salt, Sisman. She's terrific. But Andy is a salt, Sisman. Is it complete? Fuck. is terrific. But Andy is a soul, is a complete park. Well there you go, what a sensational week that was. Part 2 will follow at some unspecified point in the future. Time now to delve into the bugle archives and look back to

the Royal Wedding of Prince William to Prince William's new wife, Kate Middleton, in 2011. Top story this week. I can't remember what's happening in the world. The wedding is nearly here. And I know I'm not alone in thinking this, because the sheer number of news crews that have been descending all week on London the 32-time capital of the entire world. But the upcoming Royal Wedding is the only thing that anyone in their right mind

should be giving a shit about at the moment. I think most international news organisations are going to be sending a very coherent message over the next seven days and that message is Yemen, F*** it, Syria, KIT, Fukishar, Manuclea, Plants, F*** it, Royal Weddings, F*** yeah! And this comes from in fact the archives of the BBC, this exclusive recording from 1934. And a very warm welcome to the BBC Imperium program. I am Hubert Scrage and joining me in the Abbey today is our royalty and subservience correspondent

Mr Stanley Grancerton and Stanley one has to say that on this very special day the Abbey is looking absolutely risky ended. It certainly is, you're well done, God, terrific effort from the Big Man. Certainly a good decision to strip off that layer of glittery pink paint that Queen Victoria insisted on having. Flowers everywhere, some freshly slaughtered tigers representing the natural world. Yes, it's some of them still twitching, in fact, it's really wonderful sighting and even more wonderful smell. And here comes the prince with their characteristic hop of his. Yes, there he goes, here, but that famous stack knight really got out of hand.

Certainly did Stanley, it doesn't look like it's growing back in a hurry. He stops at the entrance to the abbey and yes, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack again. He ceremonially beats the representative from every nation of the empire with his special wedding stick and are specially resounding, whacking for the Indian ambassador there. Well played. Well played, super struck there. There's another one. I get stuck in, lad. That's it. That's it. Guess that should stifle any thought of independence for a few decades. Marvelous stuff.

Yeah, wonderful technique from the friend of Prince, controlled backswing, rhythmical downfuck, and a lovely snap of the wrist to accelerate the work of the moment of contact. So, reminiscent Hubert of his great father, who will be a very proud king today. Yes, the prince has gone in with a Mahogany stick today for a more solid whack on his special occasion, rather than the greater flexion and snap of the birch. The shiny brass tip and so the hand in the shape

of Victorian prostitute, ginting in the Westminster sunlight. That's a, with the seventh old stick, of course, and my goodness, me was that usual. Oh, rather, that stick has been serviced on an awfully large number of batons. Oh, hi, there, sirs. Rather, amusing incident that here, with the Archbishop of Canterbury,

the unfathomely Reverend Vladimir Scraffoliard, he stopped his tail on the font, and I'm afraid to say rather let himself down linguistically that. Hey, did he? I'll take a word for that Stanley, I'm afraid, it's not a term I'm acquainted with. Well that surprises me, Hubert. I know, imagine you heard it quite a lot. And the group is ceremonially funding the Princess's chambermaids now. Some, uh, excellently thorough groping going on there. And, and yes, yes, it looks like he's very well satisfied that none of them is quite, uh,

shall we say, cut, cut, cut, as the Princess herself. And that's a very great relief for everyone, Stanley. No one wanted to see another Louis IV of Hesse and Princess Alice incident. Yes, that lady has a quite ferocious eventful slap upon her. And the odd space of now is just checking the Prince for Cifalus. Yes, he's in the clear. That's good. That makes a nice change. And here it is. That two-to-the-Trumpets can mean only one thing. Yes, it does.

Princess time. And here come on. Princess Marina now. Yes, yes. Into the out. And oh. Oh. Oh, Lordy.

Oh, heckity heck. My word. Oh, yeah. Will you look at that? Good, golly Miss Molly. In the name of King George, I think every man in the Empire would not mind doing his duty with that. Oh, Molly. In the name of King George, I think every man in the Empire would not mind doing his duty with that.

Oh, mercy. Mercy, mercy me. I don't mind telling you I wouldn't mind dipping it in that, you bet. Oh, different ways, Stanley. It's a still-ton-and-chive man. He's my wife made for my pack lunch. Carrus? Don't mind.

Don't mind if I do, you... Oh, better fun! Better fun! Well, that concludes this week's sub-bugle. I hope you've enjoyed it. We'll be back with a full-bugle next week recorded live at our West Coast tour. San Francisco, Portland and Seattle. Until next time, goodbye.