The Bugle - Bonus Bugle – Too Much News #1

Episode Date: March 31, 2017

The last 22 weeks have contained a lot of news, too much even for The Bugle, so here are some recent moments that missed the final cut – including the definitive verdict on fs and cs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to a real thing that's going to happen. TheBugelPodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. Thanks once again to Radio Topia for hounding us.

Hounding us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Bugles. There is no official bugle this week because, as I've mentioned before, I am in Australia now, doing shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and subsequently Sydney, Auckland and Wellington. Do come along to all of them. In the meantime, here is a show of outtakes from the last few months since the bugle relaunch, featuring my glamorous assistant, Stroke co-hosts, Mish Kumar, Anuva Pal, Harikander Bolo, Helen Zoltzman and Wyatt Senac. Well, Daddy Street are now trying to move to calm everybody down, because there's plans

for Theresa May to make a very big speech. Later on this month, there's going to put all of our minds arrest and calm everyone down. This is going to need to be a huge speech, Andy. This is going to need to be a speech that makes we will fight them on the beaches, look like a team talker and under 11's five-side football game. I just think if she gave exactly that same speech that Kurt Jelton did. She would please 52% of this country. You're from the best. She's the economist is written as

slightly flat, unflattering cover story about Theresa May. They've gone with the headline Theresa Mayby. Not knowing the economist may maybe should leave the zingers to us. But in the article, it sort of criticises her for being indecisive and then goes on to compare her as a prime minister to Gordon Brown, which for non-British people is not a flattering comparison. If you're a prime minister and you're being compared to Gordon Brown, it's a bit like saying that film was a bit like the Star Wars pre-calls. This singer reminds me of vanilla

ice. All that stand-up comedian is somewhat comar-esque. You shown your naivety here as a relatively new member of the bugle there. The film reference you had to go for there was either Smurf to or the love book. That's you've used the wrong frame of reference. I can't believe I missed an opportunity to mention the guru. Have you seen the guru? Have I seen the love guru? Well, I'm a Man of Asian descent, haven't I Chris?

Of course I've seen it as part of our national diet. It's such a pleasure to watch the cultural ancestors be represented so effectively on screen. What's the name of this deep like dick pant? It's such a pleasure to watch the cultural ancestors be represented so effectively on screen. LAUGHTER What was the name of this deep-leg dick pant? Dick pant. I still haven't watched it. I had it stored on my TV hard drive thing for about five years and never got around to it

and deleted it. Someone gave me a DVD of it at a gig. LAUGHTER I still haven't. And I think I'm pleased with that because when I saw John in America in September, I was still able to look him in the face. There was another gender wars story, Helen,

that you alerted me to about a lady's shock, eating an entire man's shock. Now it turns out, you then suddenly say, oh, this, you know, it's no longer relevant because it happened more than a year ago. I mean, it's still relevant to our lives. It was just one of those stories that got thrown up by an algorithm to make it look like it was current, whereas I think it happened last January. But I think that shark speaks for women everywhere because that male shark had kept on nudging her and eventually she snapped.

And any woman who lives in London has been subject to unwanted touching on public transport. And at some point we're going to eat those men. Right. And that's shark's teeth. Right. Right, I don't, I mean, there's not a statute of limitation on stories about shark eating other sharks. I mean, I don't think it doesn't have the same rule of topicality that maybe some politics has.

I guess so. And also after what Eve did, which is ages ago, that's still relevant, isn't it? Being that contraband apple. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. He started everything to stay. He got the stale apple. He linked that apple out of Pandora's lunchbox to whatever it was. But I know it's a fishy fish world out there. But to me this is feminism gone mad Helen, a lady shopping allow to eat a man's shark. It was the kind of thing that everyone feared

when they let Joan of Arc enter Wimbledon. Like a shit all the men? I think so. They should have respected her personal space and not nudged her. Well she played very well, she was on fire. The Noah's Shark Story. Someone found a dead shark in a Walmart in Florida she played very well, she was on fire. Um, well girls. There's another shark story. Someone found a dead shark in a Walmart in Florida in a shopping trolley.

Yeah. Um, I won't get one free on sharks all week at Walmart. What it just shows how PC has gone too far that these poor sharks are now so terrified of being hammered in the press for eating other seals or surfers, being carnivore-shamed, that they're now taking life and death risks trying to go to online supermarkets to buy tofu, tragic as far as I'm concerned, just so they don't get a grue from the snowflakes online, let the sharks live in peace. And it also shows how deep the riptides of economic inequality are biting, that even sharks, traditionallying quite well off and they're able to afford a protein rich diet with quite a lot of sushi and some pretty rare meats and surf or carpachio. Now I'm

into a conomise by under warm-off at Cheap Hot Dogs. This is tragic. And another shark story in what is rapidly becoming an unexpected shark section. A man, and this was this week, a man saved a shark that had a knife stuck in its head in the Cayman Islands. And, and basically, what the f*** was the shark doing in the Cayman Islands? Pay your taxes shark, you're typical this, swan off to a tax haven, and then when they get injured, they want free healthcare. You can't have it both ways, Captain Chomp-Chomp.

You cannot have it both ways. So you get like, there's a movie Shark Nado. Yep. There's Shark Tapas, I believe. Shark Nado too, as well. Yeah, so I think Bugle Shark is the inevitable conclusion of this. It's not such a good Portmanteau Chris. Okay, well I thought you went a fan of portmanteau.

No, I'm a fan of portmanteau, not a fan of the bad ones. Charcoal. I saw the portmanteau womanity and it made me very angry. Womanity. Yeah, it was a type of body lotion. I thought it was some new form of... Humanity. Well I was thinking it was, you know, like a new form of mermaid, half woman, half manity.

Oh! That I can get behind. Come on, science. Step up to the plate and do something people want to see. I just have one question, Andy, because we're talking about mad despots now and they're everywhere. And I got a little obsessed with Central Africa. And that's always a good hunting ground for the despots. For crazy despots. And I came across the great documentary filmmaker,

Werner Hosek, who wanted to make a film on a guy called Jean-Biedel Bocassa, who was the leader of the Central African Republic. This was in the 70s. And it was just about, it was a documentary just about usurping power. Just an average day in Central Africa. But then, Herzog's interests changed when there were rumors circulating in that country of the fact that Mr. Bocasa me or me not be a cannibal. And when we look at stuff like that,

I think the Donald Trump problems ease a little. You know, because he's doing it all in perspective. You have to look at it in context, because he made this documentary about grabbing power and Bukasa saw himself in the vein of Napoleon, the fact he wanted a coronation like Napoleon's. So it's a film about all that, but throughout there's this slight inch of hers off trying to find out to does he also eat people. It seemed like a very specific goal. It was left ambiguous like all

great movies. So we're never sure and it's in his biography, but when you look at, we have to now look at all these people in context, you know, the Mugapé, the strump, the stuton, there's more the, you know, just, he's vegetarian, so we're okay there. Right. So, what you're trying to say is we should all cheer up because strump is not accountable. I think it's a start. It's a start, you know. It's got a robe.

Clutch it, those straws and some humble straws, you can build a giant skyscraper. It was the bright part, a guy that Trump appointed. Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon. I think how Chris jumped out with that answer. Yeah, it was like a competition there. Yeah, I mean, we should take each other in a quiz night anytime. Yeah. My answer to every question though is Steve Bannon. Oh, that's a problem. That's that's that's

going to you're going to get it like you're going to get it right a few times, but you're going to be down points a lot of the game. Yeah, I'm just relying on first impressions, I still. Yeah. I was one's band from a sports quiz, because my team had won it three years in a row. They told us to, I told me I wasn't going to have back my next year. Really? Yeah. Badger, right? It's probably the intellectual highlight of my adult life. That's a pretty good one.

I was banded from a mall because I told a mom to f*** off. We all have our crosses to bear, why? Well, I mean, there has been a story of almost equal importance breaking recently. And that is the news that science has studied the famous Mona Lisa painting by Leonardo da Vinci. And concluded that after centuries of argument, the Mona Lisa is, in fact, happy, not sad or in between. Science, it is a study by the University of Freiburg, Harry, and regularly on the bugle, we do contemplate exactly what science is doing with its heart.

Where is that university? Where is Freiburg? I think it's in Germany, isn't it? Oh, it's a good university. It's a good university claims, Chris. Apparently so, yeah. All right, it has a very good knowledge of German higher education. I think it's one of their elite academic institutions. It doesn't, I mean, people have disputed for years with the Mona Lisa. Is she happy? Is she sad?

It's a kind of a, it's that mysterious smile that has even sparked a film of the same name, the Mona Lisa smile. I think all these things are relative. I think she is, I don't know if she's happy or sad. What I do know is that as judged by comparison with people in 2017, the age of fury, she is fucking ecstatic. She has a face that has never a,

listen to a radio phone and about Brexit. B, observed even from a distance, American politics. C, used Twitter. D, read below the line comments by anonymous readers on newspaper websites underneath stories about one or more of the following rage-inducing subjects. A, anything, or B, anything else.

She's never E, thought about the 1990 World Cup football final. She's never got to be quite a lot of football final ref. That's three different World Cups in one show. Two of them won by Joe. Oh, anyway. She's never, F, thought about using a Southern train service in London, and she's never, G, tried to get a mobile signal to check the cricket score and holler then Portugal

and being unable to do so for more than four hours. It's getting flashbacks. So no wonder she looks chilled out, frankly. She should be happy. Also, a number of other reasons she should be happy. This picture was painted in the early 16th century in 1503 Leonardo started it. Of course, she's happy because she's not dead, despite having been alive for quite a long time, which is often a pretty surefire way in those days of becoming dead. And also, she'd had two children and was still not dead.

I mean, that's pretty impressive by the stand of the day. She's not currently being tortured, suffering from a plague, being burnt at the stake. No one is looking chipper. Also, she was the wife of a wealthy silk merchant, sure, Harry, it's not like being shacked up with a show with a mega star like you or me. Well, it's still for 15, oh three, that's quite a good catch.

Maybe she's seen something a little bit funny, because her eyes are not quite down the barrel of the easel. Maybe Leonardo had something on his shoulder, like a bird had crapped on his tunic, or some of his lunch was stuck at his big older and nice on hips to be, or maybe his studio assistant Ricardo was doing his famous chicken impression we don't know there's it's just as if she's about to break into a some kind of maybe Davinci is an alleged vegan had broken wind I

mean we just we just don't know also this painting apparently took the big R. T. I.e. over a decade to. I don't think he's ever been called that one. In a big RT idea, you can put that on his poster. It took over a decade to finish, so maybe the smile was the last bit, because the eyes are saying, when the f*** is this going to win, Leonardo? And the mouth has just clearly just been told, just going to be 20 minutes to wrap this up.

So, big news for the Mona Lisa. Actually, a scientist have found out why, why she's smiling. Right. It's, why is that? Well, apparently, uh, the adventure's flies open as cocks out. That science prove that science. Right.

Okay. I said, so she just made up. No, no, it's, it's from the, okay, is that science you've just made up? No, no, it's from the Friberg University. Right, and the credited university in the world. I just don't know what's true, Teddy Borg. The Guardian, all right, a Jonathan Jones, recently claimed that the Mona Lisa might have had syphilis because ten years after it was painted she apparently there's a documentary proof that she bought

a medical concoction made of snails so that's pretty much proved. Also she's not wearing an It was pretty clear. That is the guy. A man in Germany tried to leave his house and found out that his front door had been bricked up. Now, it's unclear whether this was a prank or an act of a threat or a logistical error. But it might be think, niche. Is that bad? I mean, looking at this, if you were given the chance to be bricked into your house at this point in human history, would you take it? Only if I could, only if the bricks were led light.

But I also think this could be a blueprint for Trump, because this would make more sense to me than building a wall across the border with Mexico. Just brick everyone in America into their own homes. That is the logical goal of the insular Trump as usual. Yeah, I mean, we can, I mean, we can, we can, he's almost certain to do that to the White House, I imagine. Yeah. But, and why not just brick? The entire world will be a happier place if everyone in the world simply brick themselves in. I mean look at history. Most major wars and human disasters have been caused by people who are able to leave their homes. Adopt it, that being prime example. So if we

just everyone in the world, all seven billion plus of us, just brick ourselves in. You can do everything online now. You have drones taking people's food everywhere. You can, you know, keep human reproduction. Even you can do that. Absolutely, drones involved there as well. Drones just, you know, you can find your, find your reproductive partner online.

You can have a three, there's this new, we're getting onto tech later in the show. Some very exciting new tech has just come out the CES show in 2017, we'll talk about it later. Which is a Pregnatec Incubutero 7.3 Auto-Woom. Which basically is a very high-end 3D printer. It's a 5G 4D wireless mechanical electronic techno womb that enables you to grow your own offspring

on a windowsill. You and your partner, or partners, it's 2017. Whatever you think is best. Once you crack your femineges and your masculine micro-scugglers into the incubator row, you just wait 24 hours, and the auto-wim prints out a little baby boy. There you go.

That's just one of many exciting new products that we'll be talking about. And the Republican pie is already moving to guarantee the life rights of the windowsill feeders. You've taken an admirably sort of philosophical perspective with this story, Andy. My question is far more prosaic, who are these builders that can just knock up all overnight? Managed to deliver a project that's not even been asked for in time and under budget in that he was charged zero money. These guys are clearly the greatest builders in the world.

Whatever the opposite of cowboy build, they're Indian builders. Well, maybe they're just ancient Egyptian builders who've been woken by the breaking of a curse. I think, oh, we just break people into rooms. It is quite extraordinary story because he did just wake up and find himself unable to leave his front door. And obviously, he had to call the police. And a police spokesman said to local journalists, it reminded me of the building of the Berlin Wall.

That went up pretty quickly too, but he then added, it's a crime and no joke. There's a classic German sense of humour there, Andy. LAUGHTER Straight in there. I'm comparing one bricked up doorway to the Berlin Wall. Yes. That's bold in many ways.

Yeah, you only hassle off to bring that wall down. Yeah. I mean, the Berlin Wall, as I recall, it wasn't possible to just go around and use one of the windows at the side. LAUGHTER If it did, those guys really made a fuss over that thing. LAUGHTER

MUSIC This came in on Twitter from Andrew Broadworth, a very important question in this week of all weeks. I don't know if you have any opinion on this. He asks, South Africa apparently has an anchovy-based, Marmite-type spread of its own. How does it measure against Marmites and other similar spreads on the disgusting scale? Are you a connoisseur of Marmite? If by connoisseur you mean I've tried it once and nearly vomited?

Then yes. Yes, I am. South Africa is not renowned as a culinary destination. I can only imagine when I picked up Marmite and run without a baton. What the hell are they going to end up with? I'm Chuck's amantue, isn't it? Why not? I'm a moderate fan of Marmite, but yeah, I mean, I cannot,

South Africa, a South African version of anything that isn't built on is frankly a risky culinary path to go down as far as I'm concerned. What's on the Bugle's dating profile? Well, I've not, I not, we did this thing years ago with the old Bugle E. Montedrasse, where I can't remember how it happened, but people signed the Bugle E. Montedrasse up to,

what can only be described as an unbelievable shitload of dating sites. Literally, there was like a dating sites of every religion and the technique background. I think now that you say it, I think I actually remember this incident. Do you remember signing us up for any day? I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think I actually remember this incident. Yeah. Do you remember signing us up for any day? I think so. I think so. As a result of which, that email address became unusable.

It's very sexy. It's very hard to unsign yourself up from these things. That's how they get you. As I keep telling my wife. Now, um... This election can only finally put out of its misery on Tuesday. And the 2020 campaign begins at 8am on Wednesday. Yes.

How do you see that? I mean, are you excited about that? I mean, there'll be a, I think, about a two-minute break in between, in between the electoral cycles. And I mean, it could run again. I look forward to that. Maybe first clown president. Maybe that's what shows up. We've got a clown epidemic now. Maybe this is our opportunity. They need a voice. They want to be heard. Clown president. Well, that brings us on to, well, another story you mentioned that the clown,

the creepy clown epidemic that has torn the world apart. I think it's probably the biggest new story of this year, bigger than Brexit, bigger than the American election. The world is terrified of clowns. I respect these creepy clowns. They've come to Europe now. They've been scaring people in Europe. What's the happen in the US and Canada? I respect clowns because we live in a world of groundless scaremongering. At least these creepy clowns take the time and effort to actually properly scare people. This is what we need. We need genuine,

I've had enough of the lies of the scammer and I want people, I want genuine, genuinely frightening people, actually frightening people. People who are willing to put on makeup, like that's also, they're putting in the work. Like they're not just saying something scary. They took 45 minutes to an hour to like put on the red mouth and the weird like Do the weird triangles over their eyebrows and put a wig on yeah, I I appreciate and I respect I respect the amount of work that went into that There's also a part of me that wonders as terrified as we are of a zombie apocalypse. If perhaps this is how the zombie apocalypse begins, because we're scared of

zombies, but clowns we're not too sure about. Maybe the clowns are actually zombies in clown makeup to get our defenses down. They make a balloon animal and we're like, oh, thank you. And then they eat your brain. Right. Well, that's an interesting interpretation of the clown crisis. I mean, that does seem strategically that's a good way to go about it, particularly in this year of so many distractions, people being afraid of change, of no change, of crazy candidates, that the clowns can, that the zombies can sneak in under cover of clown. Yeah. To give some context to the clown, what are people obsessed with these killer clown

pranks? I put the search term killer clown prank into YouTube and it came up with over a hundred thousand possible videos and the most viewed killer clown prank video that came off from that search. I've been viewed 92 million times. Now, I want to put global warming into the YouTube search engine. The most watch video was only 35 million. So it appears that as a species we are two and a half

times more interested in killer clown pranks than the potential end of the planet earth. And the Sudan civil war got just 540,000 views. Well, and also that Sudan civil war is just the, it's just a trailer for Marvel's Civil War, but just for the Sudanese people. Oh, right. That is... It's marketing gone mad, isn't it? That really is. Yeah, that movie didn't do that well in the Sudan.

It did well everywhere else. It's interesting you should mention warfare in the context of clowning, because clowns have a great military history, particularly in the British army, we used to use clowns militarily. In the second Afghan war in the 1840s, there was an entire regiment of clowns under the command of General Arnailius Gloucch.

And if I may read briefly from the British history of military clowning, it was whilst he was on the road to Kandahar, that news arrived that Her Majesty Quinn Victoria had alleviated general glutech of his duties, this followed the failure of his tactic of making his soldiers fight against Shah Ali Khan's men in full clown outfits whilst his intention was laudable to reduce the enemy to such a peak of hysteria that they were unable to return fire. The practicalities of clown warfare proved rather problematic. General Gloucch's clown cavalry found that their animals were rather hard to manage whilst wearing large ill-fitting footwear, and also they were often fighting with up to 30 clowns

to a single horse. The cannons of the third Framcia Clowns Aliers ineffectively fired custard pies at the enemy, many of which, in the merciless Afghan wind, blew straight back into the faces of the advancing British clown-fantry. Furthermore, many men fell in the battlefield and remained untreated as the waiting clown medics assumed that they had been simply felled by the giant ladders carried by their fellow clown-buttons, as they swung round in a parent's apprise whenever something went bang. So, very sad history of clounding in the British Army. Even more worryingly from an evolutionary point of view, and I'm very concerned about our status as number one species in the world, as you know. Chickens apparently exhibit macchi-evellion tendencies.

Ah! According to one article, I think there might be inferring. I don't know if the scientists use the term macchi-evellion or not, but actually, this does make sense. Just saying chickens exhibit macchi-evellion. I've always knew it. I always knew. Michael Gove is a chicken. Look at him, chicken. Look at his face. Listen to him talk. Watch his wattle move when his plot's is a chicken. Look at him, chicken. Look at his face, listen to him talk. Watch his wattle move when his plot's unfold, chicken. So yeah, they're plotting their revenge. They're

descended from the dinosaurs. So that's what you'd expect from these big little bastards. I can't wait to see the new Jurassic Park movie. Peasering a T-Rex of the Lossaraptor and a devious chicken. Peasuring a T-rex of the Lossaraptor and a devious chicken One of these scientists involved Dr. Laurie Marino said the very idea of chicken psychology is strange to most people Yes, Dr. Marino it is and that is because most people have got shit to do To busy world we would all love to spend more time thinking about chicken psychology But it's always one of those things that gets put off for later, isn't it? It is so hard to prioritize in a competitive global globe, all world,

thinking about chicken psychology. People just don't have time anymore. Back in the day, of course, you'd happily spend an afternoon sitting outside the coop, chatting, trying to get to the bottom of what makes them club or tick, depends on the breed, of course. I mean, I would love to have the time now, Nish, to pop my chicken buddies on the couch and get right into their eat. But I don't have time, if I didn't have children and a job, well, sport towards untelly, stuff to do, like, come in for my own weekly session

on the couch, which with my own shrink, Dr. Chris here, you're not still recording our and broadcasting our special chat site. No, not so. By the way, some good news. I'm not hearing that weird English guy's voice in my head anymore. Once a week, I'll be... That seems to be cute. But bad news, I'm hearing a range of other voices, and they scare me. The Tory MP, John Redwood, he... So this... I cannot believe the judges failed to read the leaflet.

So there was this leaflet given out and then build up to Brexit, explaining what would happen, saying that if we voted for Brexit, then Brexit would happen. So appears we don't have governments by leaflets. I mean, I thought we ditched that shit when it turned out, the Magna Carta was full of bullshit. Yeah, leaflets don't get things done. I mean, that, were they leaflets that were just left under the windshield wiper of people's cars? Because essentially, yes, essentially, yeah, nobody's going to read that. But apparently they'll, we now have legally binding leaflets in this country. And it's now, in fact, it is composed. You can be sent to jail

if you do not eat two pizzas for the price of one on a Wednesday. That is the law of the land. More on Article 50 in next week's Google. Your emails now, this came in from Ben Leiford, who writes, hello Andy, you Chris. And you've been, I didn't even get a show out. You Ben, I watched your section on Matt Ford's unspun show last night. I'm doing a little bit of telling at the moment. Yeah, after 18 years in show.

So it was gone full meet. You're part of the media elite. And I felt I had to get in touch. I think it's fair to say we've put up with a lot of mugs, ultimate over the past few years. The intermittent postcard podcast, the literal hemorrhaging of long term co-presenters, pun runs, no pun runs, and the Craven Nepotism of Jobs for the Zultiments.

But the mathematical inaccuracy of the blackboard in your piece on unspun is one stage too far. So I recorded a piece about education. And it just, honest, it had a little blackboard with mathematical formula in the background. And Ben has pointed out, I saw, what I can only assume to be the quadratic formula top right. I say assume, because instead of writing x equals minus b,

plus or minus the root of b squared, minus 4ac over 2a, you put x equals minus b, plus or minus the root of b squared, minus 4a over 2a. No, see, where's the constant gum asked Ben? How is the discriminant gonna tell whether there's not one or two solutions? If you can't even get the basic quadratic formula right, how can we be expected to believe your bullshit?

The scales are fallen from my eyes. Sweet baby Jane, that is an email. Ben, you have a lot of time on your hands, my friend. This could be my own personal watergate. Oh my god, this is the smoking gun. Ben is deep throat. That my god, this is the smoking gun. Then is deep throat. That is absolutely, that is incredible. Because of all of the bullshit you've spun.

Yeah. It really does feel like it's funny. It's like how they got alcohol on tax evasion. In my defense, I did pass the actual writing of the blackboard onto a, to an underling. Yeah, of course. Just TV and show business. This is like Trump and Russia. That production manager was your Jeff Sessions.

Do keep your emails coming in to HelloBuglers at theBugelPodcast.com. Come. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP I can't help myself. Look, we can't kind of people. We can't help, but sometimes view these kinds of incidents through the prism of how it's going to affect us in the short term. And people are thinking, oh God, is this going to lead to me being searched at Apple's security or people thinking, oh God, is this going to complicate when you're getting to work? Chris now sees terrorist incidents and thinks, oh God, I'm going to have to edit so much swearing out the bugle. Oh, a lot of people don't like the bleeps.

On the bugle. I like the bleeps. I think they're wrong. Right. Really? Yeah, I think the bleeps are important. Oh, yeah, I agree. I think there's something funny about,

I think there's something funny about the bleeps. One bleeps are funny. Yeah. Two, kids and people who don't necessarily like hearing fucking do listen. Yeah. And given two, I think that people who like fucking don't put off by the bleep.

Yeah. Because they still get a sense of it. Yeah. Well, that's exactly why you're not allowed to do it on the BBC Because apparently the bleep is enough of the inference Well, I think it's a shame because I actually think like arrested development I've sit there's a on the DVD. There's the cop. There's the pilot which doesn't have the swearing bleeds and then the actual show has the Swing and for some reason it's just much funnier. I don't know why.

I think it's really funnier. Oh, yeah, of course. Also, I bet you. So if I was to put this here, I'd close Pricks, yeah. Pricks I keep in and take care. And I think it's funnier, having half of that sentence picked out.

I still don't really understand why on the BBC, there's so much swearing at the top of every hour during the four news bulletins. Let's go. Is this like a bonus extra bit at the end of the show? I've saved this for it off. This is like an Easter egg. A big **** of an Easter egg. A big, fucking god of an Easter egg.

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